I need to pick someone Alec Baldwin played somewhere and I know Jack Donaghy isn't going to make it into my TV Character list. As a result...
"Well played, clerks. I underestimated you once, but never again. I vow that my vengeance won't be swift or entertaining. I will draw it out over decades in such a subtle fashion that you'll have to wonder whether the misery in your life is either manifest, or the machinations of Leonardo Leonardo, or... a third thing. Good evening."