NYU

COLE Thanks, Tony! COACH You know, all Schiavone would need to do is grow a goatee.....or you could shave your goatee....and you two would look exactly the same. COLE ....what? That's not true at all. COACH Well, I don't know. All white people look the same to me. CABOOSE You know, I actually agreed with most of Jesse's picks. Except for the Black T ones, but I could certainly see where he's coming from. I should meet him after the show for drinks or something.... COLE Two minutes into the show and we're already off-topic. Wonderful. Anyway, we're going to kick off this show with a HUGE matchup! A match that was made just three days ago on HeldDown! Between three guys who, quite simply, want to beat the crap out of each other. CABOOSE Oh, I just can’t decide which guy I want Brock to maim more. I’m really excited for this match, just feel these nipples!! COACH I’ll bet my nipples are more rigid in anticipation of this match than yours are Caboose. (He starts to lift his shirt) Just take a look….. COLE JONATHAN!!!! Go to Buffer, NOW, NOW, NOW!!!!!! *DING DING* BUFFER Wow, those are pretty hard......ahem…..Ladies and Gentlemen, the following contest is a triple threat match, where the first man to score either a pinfall or submission will be declared the winner. CUE: Oh Hell Yeah “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” The crowd pops big as Peter Knight walks through the curtain into the Staples Center, which now filled with strobing blue light. He pauses at the top of the ramp to take in the crowd’s ovation before making his way to the ring. BUFFER Introducing first, from Fall River, Massachusetts, weighing in at 260 pounds, Peterrrrrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight! COLE This is Peter Knight’s first PPV appearance as an active wrestler since Anglemania III last year, where he lost to Sly Sommers. He definitely would like to pick up the win in his PPV return match, but he’s facing a pretty big challenge. COACH I feel ya. CABOOSE Don’t make me call Dr. Fist for a house visit again. CUE: Punishment by Biohazard “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Brock Ausstin and Rick Heyross walk out into the arena to an ovation on par with (or even a bit louder) than Knights. Brock flexes his neck and does the Happy Happy Hoss Dance~! as Rick displays him like a Barker’s Beauty displaying a new car before they both walk down the aisle. BUFFER Next, being accompanied to the ring by Rick Heyross, he is from Victoria, Minnesota, weighing in at 320 pounds. He is the Current Big Thing, Brrrrrrroooooooock Ausssssssssstiiiiiiin!!!! CABOOSE There’s my boy!!! Now that Drek is gone, I’ve gots to find a new binky and Brock is it. The fans even agree and bathe in his greatness every night. They also brush their teeth in his amplitude. They exfoliate in his magnitude, they shave in….. COLE All right, all right. God, I think whoever is writing this match needs some professional help. CUE: An Ode to Killings “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!” The ovation is loud, but in the negative direction as Killings steps through the curtain, his dark sunglasses hiding a look of slight apprehension. He sizes up his competition from afar, who are both staring right back at him, before making the long(ish) walk to the ring. BUFFER And now, their opponent. Originally from Boise, Idaho, he now resides right here in Los Angeles, California!! Weighing in at 298 pounds, he is STILL the Beast of Boise, and Hollywood’s next action legend, Priiiiiiiiiiiiiiince Kiiiiiiiiiillllliiiiiiiiings!!!!! COLE No photographers this time, I see. I’ll be willing to bet that Prince was banned from bringing them so he won’t pull anything like he did at Anglemania. COACH What? That camera inadvertently flew out of that photographers hands and Killings decided to take the picture that he was setting up for. CABOOSE Oh, and now you’re stealing my schtick? Sleep with one eye open and your testicles well protected tonight, Coach. Killings approaches the ring, but is reluctant to step in the ring as Brock and Knight stare at him like two lions at feeding time. Killings removes his sunglasses, trying to put up a façade of toughness as his music fades out and the two men in the ring motion for him to step in. The fans around ringside yell at him to do the same. CABOOSE The second he steps into that ring, he’s going to be hurting. Killings stalls, walking around ringside and eyeing up his competition. Brock and PK, getting a little impatient, walk to the ropes and reach over, but Prince avoids their swipes. The crowd starts up a “KILLINGS SUCKS!!” chant, getting restless at the lack of action so far. COLE Oh come on, just get in there and let’s get this going! Killings takes a deep breath and grabs the bottom rope, pulling himself onto the apron. He reluctantly steps one foot through the ropes and ducks under the top rope, only to have Brock right on him, peppering him with forearms and dragging him into the ring to officially start the match. *DING DING* COLE Here we go! Brock shoves Prince into the corner and fires off hard right hands to the face before ramming his shoulder into his gut. Knight tries to get himself a piece and lands a few kicks to the midsection, but Brock shoves him away and continues the punishment. PK tries again to get involved, but Brock shoves him away again, pointing his thumb at himself and telling PK “My business” before turning his attention back to Prince. Unfazed, PK goes back to the corner and pulls Brock aside so that he can get at Killings with some more kicks to the gut. COLE Killings is taking an enormous beating a few minutes into this one. Angered even more by Knight’s action, he grabs the back of his singlet and yanks PK away, sending him spinning to the middle of the ring. Brock lays in more right hands to Prince, but PK comes up from behind and grabs him by the hair, pulling Brock away from the corner, which allows Killings to slip under the bottom rope. Livid, Brock goes nose to nose with Knight again. Knight shoves Brock back and puts up the dukes, asking for Brock to bring it. COACH Both these guys don’t like Prince, but they’d love to tear each other apart as well. They lock up and jockey for position. Knight grabs a side headlock, but Brock shoots him off the ropes. He tries a clothesline, but Knight ducks and runs towards Prince, sticking his arm out and clotheslining him over the top rope and to the floor. Knight turns and charges back towards Brock, but Brock is ready for him and takes him down with a powerslam. He goes for the cover. 1…. But it’s much too early and PK easily kicks out. Brock drags him up by the hair, driving his forearm into Knight’s back, but PK quickly goes behind Brock and takes his leg out, spinning around and grabbing a front face lock, pulling back to put pressure on Brock’s neck. Brock uses his power advantage to get back to his knees, and then his feet, wrapping his arms around Knight and taking him over with a belly to back suplex. COLE With his strength, Brock holds a bit of an advantage over the slimmed down Knight, who will have to wear him down to have a chance to get him pinned. Brock drags PK up again and wraps him up for another suplex, but PK backpedals and falls down, the momentum sending Brock through the middle rope and to the floor. COACH Good counter there by Knight, getting Brock off of him for a few moments. Brock gets to his feet, and is completely blindsided by a charging Prince Killings, who wraps him in a tackle and backs him up until….. *BAM* Brock strikes the ring steps, dislodging them; his lower back taking most of the impact. Brock grimaces in pain, grabbing the area with his hand and hunching over on his knees. Prince pulls him back to his feet and charges into him shoulder first, ramming him into the steel ring post, further damaging the back. Brock yells in pain. COLE Now there’s a way to slow that man down. Even someone like Brock Ausstin can fall prey to the cold, cold, unforgiving steel of the 3 ton ring steps and solid steel ring post. Killings rolls Brock back into the ring and goes to roll back in, but PK grabs him as he does so and tosses him right back out to the floor. Knight stomps the back and drops an elbow on it before slipping on a chinlock and burying his knee into Brock’s back. Brock grunts in pain as he is bent further back, increasing the pressure on his back. COLE As we saw in his match with Jumbo a few weeks ago, PK seems to have changed styles to more of a mat-based submission style. And he’s taking advantage of what Killings did to Brock’s back. CABOOSE How the hell wasn’t Prince disqualified for using the steps? You’d have to be a deaf jackass to totally miss that sound. Oh, wait; I just answered my own question there. Prince slides back into the ring and knocks PK away with an axehandle, dragging him to his feet and tossing him through the middle rope and to the floor. Prince turns his attention to Brock, stomping the lower back and dropping an elbow on it. He bounces off the rope and leaps, further damaging the back with a kneedrop. Prince gestures to the crowd and yells “He’s done”, drawing boos. He motions in for the kill, standing over Brock, pulling him into a sitting position….. COLE Well, it may look like Prince has actually improved his…. ….and slapping on a rear chinlock. COLE *Sigh* “BOOOOOOOOOOO!” A wide smile crosses Prince’s face as he puts more pressure on the hold, repeatedly telling the fans to shut up. The hold doesn’t prove to be all that effective as Brock, with Prince hanging on for the ride on his back, gets back to his feet and backs Prince into the corner to break the hold. He takes a few steps back and gets a head of steam before charging into the corner with a clothesline. He holds Prince in the corner and drives some knees to his gut. PK, sliding back into the ring, sees an opening and charges, driving his shoulder into Brock’s back and squishing him against Prince. He drives his shoulder into it a few more times, holding it there and bending Brock back a bit, with Killings being pinned between him and the corner. Knight releases and pulls Brock away, leaving Prince to fall to his knees and gasp for air. PK whips Brock against the ropes and charges, but Brock ducks the clothesline and bounces off the opposite strands, with PK bouncing off the opposite ropes as well. Brock gets a head of steam and nails PK with a SPEAR!!!! CABOOSE YEAH! Brock goes for the cover… 1…… 2…… Prince breaks up the cover. Of course, that does nothing but anger Brock. Prince notices this and tries to flee, but Brock grabs his arm and yanks him back towards him, hoisting Prince on his shoulders in a fireman’s carry. CABOOSE Here it comes, Cole!!!! Brock smiles at PK before turning Prince off his shoulders and…… *WHUMP* “YEAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” Nailing Prince with a KNIGHTMARE!!!! CABOOSE Whoa!! COLE Brock Ausstin with the Knightmare on Prince Killings!!!! Here’s the cover: 1….. 2….. THR….NO, Knight breaks up the pin!! PK kicks Brock away, dragging Prince roughly to his feet and putting him up in a fireman’s carry. COLE Don’t tell me….. PK stares at Brock before spinning Prince around……. *WHUMP* And dropping him to the mat in an F-Stunner-5! “YEAHHHHHHH!!!” COLE And now PK uses Brock’s finisher on Killings! These guys are completely punishing the actor turned wrestler. He goes for the cover. 1……. 2……. THR…….NO, Brock breaks up the pin! Brock stomps Killings, and PK grabs him, whipping Brock hard into the corner before picking up Killings and dumping him over the top rope. In doing this, he doesn’t notice Brock sinking in the corner, waiting for him to turn around. The crowd does, however, and rises to their feet in anticipation COLE If Brock connects here, Knight is done!!! Brock charges, but PK trips him up and quickly grapevines his legs, looking to be going for a sharpshooter, but instead he turns around and bends over, grabbing Brock’s arms and pulling him up, causing his body to be bent in a U position, right at his lower back. COLE Wow, what kind of hold is that? COACH I remember Bull Nakano using it against Alundra Blaze once, and it looks like it hurts like hell. A look of severe pain crosses Brock’s face, as he grits his teeth and grimaces. Some of the crowd starts to clap, trying to will Brock to get out of the hold. The problem is, he is right in the middle of the ring and PK has his arms pulled back, so he can’t reach for the ropes and has the leverage. COLE I’ll tell you, I don’t know how Brock will be able to escape this hold. His back has been worn down pretty well, and that is where this move is focused on. Rick slaps the apron and yells encouragement at his man and Brock tries to power his way out of the move, but PK keeps him down by pulling back on the arms even further, putting more pressure on the back and causing Brock to scream in pain. He tries to lean to one side, hoping to break the hold that way, but Knight uses the leverage advantage to keep that from happening, pulling back on the arms more as punishment. Brock still holds on, but his face shows the immense pain he is feeling right now, yelling “NO!” every time the referee asks him if he wants to submit. CABOOSE It’s a battle of wills right now. Come on Brock, fight it!!! Knight seems to be getting a bit frustrated at Brock’s refusal to quit and yells at him “Come on, Brock! There’s no escape!” before slipping his hands under Brock’s arms and locking them on the back of Brock’s neck in a full-nelson position, giving himself even more leverage and causing Brock even more pain. “OHHHHHHH!” The crowd gasps in awe at how far Brock’s back is being torqued by the modified hold and begin to chant: “BROCK! BROCK! BROCK! BROCK!” COLE Wow, I have no idea how Brock is still holding on under this much agony. CABOOSE Guts, Michael Cole, pure guts. Not many guys could take the punishment that he has in this match. Brock seems to be fading a bit and the ref is right on top of things, continually asking if Brock wants to give up, since he is in a position where he won’t be able to signal a submission by tapping out. Brock takes a couple of deep breaths and tries to move himself forward, and is successful, moving himself a few inches towards the ropes. He breathes again and is able to move a bit closer as Brock’s fans cheer him on. CABOOSE COME ON!!! ALMOST THERE!!! Brock, now only mere feet from the ropes, gets ready for one last push, but this time PK pulls back on him and backs him back to the middle of the ring! COACH That’s it. That is it! Brock is a matter of seconds from submitting here! CABOOSE Oh, when are YOU ever right? Brock struggles to hold on….. Struggles……. REFEREE Brock, do you want to quit? BROCK ……………………………………………………………………………. YES! “OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!” *DING DING* BUFFER Here is your winner, by submission, Peterrrrrrrrrrr Kniiiiiiiiiight!!!!!!! COLE Unbelievable!! Peter Knight has made Brock Ausstin submit; I don’t think ANYONE has ever done that before!! CABOOSE Wow…..just……..damn. COACH Guess I was right this time, eh Caboose? CABOOSE Sure, keep pulling the pissed off tiger’s tail. Knight’s fans cheer, but most of the crowd stands in shock at what they’ve just witnessed. PK gets his hand raised by the referee and rolls out of the ring, not taking any time to relish in what he had accomplished but instead walking up the aisle to the back. Rick is now in the ring, checking on his man, who has his head down, almost in shame. COLE Hey, you’ve got to give it to Brock there; he held on through such excruciating pain, more than anyone else in this fed would probably be able to sustain. With the help of the referee and Rick, Brock gets back to his feet. The fans applaud Brock’s heart as he favors his lower back and kicks the bottom rope in frustration. COLE Well, I’ve got to tell you guys; I did not expect this result at all. A minor upset here tonight at Living Angelously as Peter Knight actually makes the big man Brock Ausstin submit. COACH Hey, Cole, I'm hearing Hoff has something to say backstage. CABOOSE Oh, goodie. The cameras cut to the backstage area, where Josh Matthews is walking down a hallway. We hear Triple C on voiceover: COLE Fans, thank you so much for joining us tonight. COACH HOLLA~! COLE We've still got plenty more action ahead, our WORLD TITLE match, plus the match to determine the #1 contender to that title! And our own Josh Matthews is on his way to get a word with one of the participants right now! Josh stops and turns to face a door with a large "H" on it. The fans cheer the door, and Josh knocks. His knocks are answered by none other than HOFF. "YEEEEEEEAH!!" Hoff, dressed for battle minus the gloves, steps out of the doorway, closing it behind him. JOSH Hoff, I was wondering if you could tell us how your knee is after Crystal and Gunner's sneak attack last Thursday on HeldDOWN? HOFF My knee....my knee is fine, why should it be any different? Josh eyes Hoff suspiciously. JOSH Well, Hoff, it's just that, well, that WAS the knee that Chris Stevens attacked in November. The knee you had to have surgically repaired! Hoff looks at J. Math blankly. HOFF Yeah, so? JOSH Well.....I mean, I guess I'm wonderng if after all the abuse, you're still at 100% tonight? Hoff smiles, rolling his eyes. HOFF Okay, Matthews, you got me. Listen. Truth is, my knee's been better. I mean, it's good...but it's seen better days. See, my old friend Chris Stevens painted a bullseye on the damn thing, and everyone knows it. Last week, Crystal and Gunner fired a bullet. And let me tell you something: it was a direct hit. JOSH So....will you be able to compete tonight? HOFF Whoa whoa whoa, Josh. Are you implying that one bum knee could keep me out of the ring? Hoff looks down at Josh, flabbergasted and offended. JOSH Well I-- HOFF No, let me get it STRAIGHT, Matthews! You think one little knee injury is gonna keep me down?! "HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF HOFF" JOSH Well, no, I mean...it's just-- HOFF Let me tell you something, Josh Matthews. You could cut off BOTH my damn knees, and I'd STILL go out there and whoop Crystal's skanky ass! "YEEEEEEEEEAH!!" HOFF Oh, YEAH! You damn right, Josh! Here, why don't you cut off a pinky. Or a thumb, here, take the whole damn hand! Buddy, if I had nothing left but my head and myass, I'd go out there and headbutt the *BLEEP*, and then sit right down on top of her for the 1-2-3!! Hoff takes a deep breath, allowing the fans to catch theirs as well. Hoff looks down hard at Josh, his expression earnest. HOFF Josh, tonight, I fight both for an opportunity...and for a friend, and there is nothing...nothing...that's gonna stop me now. Hoff looks at Josh, who nods, before turning back and walking into his locker room. Hoff shuts the door, and Josh is left all alone. JOSH Cole, Coach, 'Booze...back to you!

Cue: Voiceover Life. For different people, life means different things. Some people live for success. Zack Malibu flashes by. Some live for love. Leon Rodez, Ned Blanchard, The 70s Dude. Some...for hatred. Hell's Hitmen, Axel. Some live life, to improve it's quality...by riches. Black T Or by morality. Hoff. Some live for the moment. Some Guy. Some live to hide the past they left behind. Crystal. But tonight, whever they live by good... Hoff again. What a nice guy he is. ...or live by bad. CWM, turning on Zack Malibu. ...tonight...they will all be LIVING... AAAAAAAANNGGGLLLLLEEEELOUSLYYYYYY~!~!~! CUE: Foo Fighters, "The One" Everyone makes one mistake Clips of 'The Franchise' Zack Malibu, terrorising the OAOAST in previous months. One more time for old times sake Some guy's return, as well as CWM's. One more time before the feeling fades Axel holding the OAOAST World Title aloft at Anglemania, complete with post-match celebration. One that’s born of memories Black T, attacking first Zack and then Axel. One more bruise you gave to me Crystal and Hoff, duking it out~! One more test just how much can I take Crystal and Hoff, both falling at the hands of Axel. Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Clips of Black T and CWM's recent battles with Some Guy and Zack Malibu. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit Crystal slapping Axel, Hoff in pain, Crystal bleeding. Something never meant to be Ned Blanchard and Krista, face to face. Everything you meant to me The unhappy couple together with their daughter, Maya. Wake me when this punishment is done The unconscious Love Doctors, Hell's Hitmen standing over them. Those who try and get away Tha Puerto Rican, eating some Brickston fists. From the one who gets away Peter Knight's return and then Prince Killings' return Someone’s always someone else’s one The 70's Dude with his 'Dudettes', who of course got 'intimate' with Leon Rodez. Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Chokeslam by Jingus on one of the Docs. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit CoD getting beat down by the NNMX, CoD getting their revenge in film form. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Ausstin, Killings and Knight in action. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit 70's Dude going nuts after seeing Rodez's "Saturday Night Beaver" presentation. Until the end of time BLACK T In another life ZACK MALIBU! Until the day I die AXEL Save it up for one more try C W M! Save it for the last goodbye SOME GUY! We go on and get off And get on and get off CRYSTAL, HOFF, RODEZ, DUDE, PRL, NNMX, KNIGHT, KILLINGS, OMGTHERE'SSOMANYFACESFLASHINGBY~! Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Pollycutter by CWM! You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit Black T beating down Zack Malibu viciously. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this PRL holding his 24/7 Title aloft You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like shit SPINEBUSTAAA~! by Hoff! Because you’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like this Ned Blanchard, holding his groin, courtesy of the CoD. You’re not the one but you’re the only one Who can make me feel like... Various clips from the past few weeks... Ohhhhhhhhh shit And the last clip we see, is of Axel, holding the World Heavyweight Title and pointing to his chest. And HERRRRRRRRRRRE comes the fireworks~! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! B O O M ~ ! LIVE! Living Anglelously 2005! The Staples Center The camera pans around The Staples Center for a few moments as the normally sedated Los Angeles crowd is now LOUD and RAUCOUS! We get one clear shot of someone holding the sign “T-Bod can’t handle ANRGY AXEL~!” Clearly, the fans in LA have trouble spelling a word as easy as “angry.” But that’s okay. Because they’re enthusiastic and that’s all that matters! As the camera catches a glimpse of all the wild fans, the view eventually stops on none other than Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura standing near the entranceway. With Schiavone dressed in a lackluster grey suit complete with black button-down vest -- and Ventura dressed in a leather jacket, yellow feather boa, and red bandana -- it’s clear these two announcers have come to talk! SCHIAVONE WELCOME EVERYONE! Well, folks, here we go again! Three weeks have passed since AngleMania IV, and now we’re back to bring you some even more hard-hitting action. They said it couldn’t be done. They said three weeks wasn’t nearly enough time to hype a show. Well, ladies and gentlemen, if you’re watching this broadcast right now, it means you have ordered Living Anglelously 2005. And, in the process, you have proved all the naysayers wrong once again! That’s right! LA coming to you LIVE from L.A.! VENTURA Well, Tony Schiavone, how could anybody skip over Living Anglelously tonight? Nine matches! Five championships on the line! And where else could one get the opportunity to see none other than the T-Bod himself, Mr. Tony Brannigan, finally get the chance to add his name to the record books and seize the OAOAST Heavyweight Championship? I’ve been excited for this night for weeks! SCHIAVONE Well Jess, you know the drill. You ready to run through the card? VENTURA You know I’m always ready. And might I say, this show has been running smoothly so far. Why the smoothest it has run in a long, long time. Tony, didn’t the OAOAST just recently acquire someone new to produce the Pay-Per-Views? SCHIAVONE Hmm. Why yes, they believe they have. VENTURA Well, he has done a bang-up job. I’ve never been treated better. SCHIAVONE Amazingly, I’m going to have to agree with you here. But moving on! Tonight, we’re going to see two established superstars battle it out for a chance at the #1 Contendership to the Heavyweight Title. They’re familiar enough with each other already, but tonight, Hoff and Crystal are going to fight it out all over again. The last two times these superstars met in the ring, Hoff actually came out on top. In fact, in their last meeting at World Without End, Hoff actually defeated Crystal to win the Heavyweight Championship! VENTURA Whenever these two have locked up in the ring, it has certainly seemed like Hoff has had the advantage. But in those other meetings, Crystal never had this mean streak before. She has become evil, sadistic, malicious -- basically, she’s become a woman I wouldn’t mind bringing home to Mom. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her this focused before, Schiavone. I really think Crystal is finally going to walk away tonight with a win over Hoff. SCHIAVONE Jess, tonight we’re also going to get the chance to see two surefire legends fight in one of the most brutal matches ever conceived -- a Last Man Standing match! This feud between Some Guy and CWM has gotten so personal. And in just a short while, the tension is going to finally boil over. Thoughts? VENTURA The way I see it, CWM felt humiliated at AngleMania IV when Some Guy, Zack, and Caboose managed to take him out with a Triple School’s Out. Well, now he has the chance for retribution. CWM got an initial taste of it two weeks ago when he squared off with Some Guy. He won the match and, in the process, took apart the leg of his enemy. Now he gets the opportunity to finish the job. And I, for one, think he’s going to do it. SCHIAVONE Well folks, not only do we have a Last Man Standing match to bring to you tonight. But for the first time in this federation’s history, we’re ready to bring you a Last Man Dancing contest as well! VENTURA Schiavone, I have no idea why they didn’t ask you to compete in this match. I hear you’re good at bumping and grinding with the kids today. SCHIAVONE Oh no. For me, it’s the Charleston or nothing. But surely, two of the best dancers in the OAOAST would be none other than Leon Rodez and The 70s Dude. And tonight, they’re going to fight over the X-Division title. But it’s not going to be in a simple ring. That would just be silly. Instead, they’ll be fighting at the Whiskey-A-Go-Go club down the street. The rules? Once you knock your opponent down and keep him down for the ten count, you then get to dance over his body. It’s that simple. VENTURA Tony, have you ever seen The 70s Dude dance? The man is incredibly light on his feet! People like Usher have been knocking on his door, begging him to show them some of his dance moves. He’s just incredible. Leon Rodez isn’t shabby on his feet either, but I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone jive as well as the Dude. SCHIAVONE Usher? Jive? I think I’m seeing a whole new side of you, Jess. VENTURA Being governor of a hip place like Minnesota has taught me a lot of things. Honestly, Leon Rodez has been an excellent fighting champion the past few months. He’s managed to overcome every challenger that has come his way. But the trend stops tonight. The Dude has been on a winning streak lately and, seeing what he did to Calvin Szechstein last month under hardcore rules, I could see him doing the same to Rodez. Count on a new X-Champion and the best dancer in this federation’s history to twenty-three skiddoo out of the Whiskey-A-Go-Go with a new piece of gold. SCHIAVONE At Living Anglelously, we’re also going to see Peter Knight make his return to Pay-Per-Views when he takes on Prince Killings and Brock Ausstin in a Triple Threat match! VENTURA This has been a difficult one to predict. Brock Ausstin has an extraordinary amount of strength and could toss around anyone with the greatest of ease. Peter Knight has a great sense of timing in the ring and, with his skills, I’m not surprised there were people constantly whining for him to make his return. And Prince Killings, as we saw at AngleMania IV, is especially qualified at cheating. That’s always a helpful skill to have. You know, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say Killings is going to use his intelligence here and come out with the W. SCHIAVONE And in the first of two tag team title matches tonight, it’s going to be Hell’s Hitmen trying to defend the HI-YAH Tag Team Titles against The Love Doctors. But here’s the twist. Hell’s Hitmen cannot be disqualified for anything they do tonight -- but the Love Doctors can. That’s going to put them at a distinct advantage here. VENTURA Well, it’s time to face facts. Hell’s Hitmen are heroes in Japan. People line up for miles to get a chance to see two of the baddest monsters to ever step foot in the Land of the Rising Sun. Godzilla has nothing on them. The Sadist would choke slam Mothra if he had the opportunity. These two are guaranteed money. Meanwhile, we have…..the Love Doctors. Yeah, that’s real marketable. I’m sure there are a bunch of fat housewives in Japan clamoring for the opportunity to meet a wrestler that looks vaguely like George Clooney. Please. For the sake of the wrestling business in Japan, Hell’s Hitmen have to win. And they will. SCHIAVONE ….fat housewife? VENTURA Exactly. The same people in love with the Love Doctors right now, I assure you, are the same people scooping up Clay Aiken’s albums. All fat housewives and preteens. I know about this stuff, Schaivone. I was a governor. SCHIAVONE Well, in our other Tag Team Title match of the night, it will be Chicks Over Dicks trying to defend their OAOAST Tag Team Titles against the New New Midnight Express. And here again is another twist. If Alix and Krista happen to lose the tag titles to the NNMX, they will not receive one tag title shot again until Cornette’s team drops the gold. VENTURA Tony, did you catch Narcisstic Ned’s acting debut on this past HeldDown? I’m telling you, the guy should win an Oscar. Or at least a Golden Globe! SCHIAVONE Well, Alix didn’t do too bad either. VENTURA Please. Sniffing glue? Acting ditzy? That was no acting, my friend. Anyway, the New New Midnight Express have shown this month that they are simply smarter than either Alix or Krista. Don’t misunderstand me. These two women are very athletic in the ring and have been fine champions thus far. But the NNMX are in this to win it. Ned has been playing mind games with Alix for the past few weeks and, shockingly enough, it seems like it’s been working. She’s head over heels for him! Why Tony Schiavone, we were only minutes away from the world finally seeing yet another sex video. I guarantee it would have been better than that X-Pac/Chyna fiasco. SCHIAVONE Well, I mean, is that hard to do? VENTURA Of course not. Trust me, after the beating CoD gave them last Thursday, Ned and Simon are looking to even the score. If you’re a betting man, always stay on Jim Cornette’s side. SCHIAVONE And of course, we’re also be seeing Tha Puerto Rican go one-on-one with his former protégé John Brickston for the 24/7 Championship. VENTURA I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone as ungrateful as John Brickston. Let’s be fair. Tha Puerto Rican has given the man his entire career so far. By naming him the Prototype and taking him under his wing, TPR was actually somewhat of a father figure. But then Brickston bit the hand that fed him. He stole the Italian title from Stephen Popick two weeks ago, and now he’s looking to take another piece of gold away from the Lightning Crew. I wouldn’t count on it. He’s been impressive in the ring, but he’s not up to the caliber of Tha Puerto Rican. Not yet, and I don’t know if he ever will be. SCHIAVONE Then we come to our Black T portion of the night. Perhaps the most impressive tag team our sport has ever seen are splitting up for two high profile matches of the night. First off, Dan Black will be battling none other than “The Franchise” Zack Malibu. This has been a particularly volatile feud, Jesse. VENTURA Without a doubt, Schiavone. Spotlight is a dangerous thing. People are willing to fight tooth-and-nail just to catch a glimmer of it. This comes down to Dan Black wanting to seize his piece of the spotlight. He feels Zack Malibu has taken the attention away from him for far too long, so he’s taking his opportunity here. SCHIAVONE Meanwhile, of course, Zack Malibu has been incensed ever since Dan Black and T-Bod booted him out of The Original Elite and viciously attacked Candie in the process. In the past few weeks, it’s been difficult to even keep these two men away from each either. Well, this is where it ends. VENTURA Zack Malibu is a terrific athlete, no doubt about it. He’s done more in this federation than perhaps any other superstar that has ever stepped through that curtain. But Dan Black is hungry. I talked to him earlier today, and I have never seen that man so focused. He wants to finally finish Zack Malibu once and for all, so he could claim his spot as one of the top people in the OAOAST. I don’t know if Zack is prepared for everything Black is prepared to throw at him. This is why, tonight, my vote is going for Dan Black. SCHIAVONE Definitely. And finally, we come to our Main Event. Axel will be making his first Pay-Per-View Heavyweight Title defense against none other than Tony Brannigan. VENTURA I can not wait for this one. Who is your pick to pull this one out, Schiavone? I’ve been doing all the talking here. SCHIAVONE Well, I…..as much as I respect what Tony can do in the ring, I’m going to have to go with Axel here. In the past few months, I’ve perhaps never seen a man on such a hot streak as he is. From retiring Ragdoll in December to winning the Lethal Rumble in January to beating both Crystal and Drek Stone en route to the Heavyweight Title at AngleMania IV, he has just been on fire. And as good as Tony is, and with as much experience as Tony has, I don’t think he’ll be able to stop Axel. VENTURA You’re insane. Do you realize Tony Brannigan has been waiting years for this opportunity? He has pined away in that locker room, just salivating at being given the chance to wrestle for the Heavyweight Title in a Main Event slot. Well, after all that waiting, his time has finally come. He is finally going to be given a chance he has never truly received before. And let me tell you, I may know T-Bod better than anybody else. There is no way he is going to submit, and there is no way he is going to let his shoulders rest on that mat for three seconds tonight. Tony is not about to let this opportunity slip through his fingers. Axel had the title for a good three weeks. This is where it ends. SCHIAVONE So you’re predicting a new Heavyweight Champion tonight? VENTURA Absolutely. No doubt in my mind. SCHIAVONE Well, there you go, folks. Nine huge matches. Five titles on the line. Living Anglelously is ready to start! Let’s throw it down to the ring and Triple C for our first match. Here we go!

Coffey hasn't been the same since the humor in the WWE Folder died. It was a worthy adversary for him. Now he has nothing to strive for.

Tony Kornheiser came to the school once this year, but I didn't know about his appearance until after the fact. The next time he's here, I'm going to make it a point to see him.

Very nice. See, that's what I like about you. You're always so interested in others.

Perhaps you should read earlier in this thread. Maybe this is why you've been stripped of the "Doctor" title in your username.

I've gotten the match four times. Don't worry about it.

Piazza is so finished. Seven runners stranded by him today through the first four innings. At this point, he's holding back the team much more than helping it. An 8-0 lead on Washington though is very nice.

Have Orton ban Coffey from TSM!

This will be quite the loss, let me tell you.

Tony, just so you know, I'm probably going to steal Tony Schiavone and Jesse Ventura from you for the intro segment. Consider it an homage, rather than blatant theft. You'll feel better about it that way.

Is it just me or is Katie actually gaining weight as the days go on? It's actually very strange.

Don't you dare steal my thunder! We can't have two major heels retire within the span of a month. I mean, just LOOK at all the attention my retirement has grabbed so far. It's the talk of the board, it is!

Okay, let me get the final card straight. OAOAST Heavyweight Championship Axel© vs. Tony Brannigan #1 Contender's Match Hoff vs. Crystal RECEIVED~! Zack Malibu vs. Dan Black RECEIVED~! X 4 Some Guy vs. CWM RECEIVED~! OAOAST X-Division Championship Last Man DANCING~! Leon Rodez© vs. The 70s Dude RECEIVED~! OAOAST Tag Team Championship If CoD happen to lose, they don't get a title shot throughout the entire NNMX title reign Chicks Over Dicks© vs. The New New Midnight Express OAOAST 24/7 Championship Tha Puerto Rican© vs. John Brickston RECEIVED~! HI-YAH Tag Team Championship No-DQ for the challengers. DQs possible for the champions. The Love Doctors© vs. Hell's Hitmen RECEIVED~! Peter Knight vs. Prince Killings vs. Brock Ausstin ------------------------------------------------------------- If there's any here I forgot......um, sorry. And if you tell me, that might be really helpful too.

....well, this is assuming I don't blow up the board trying to post the PPV on Sunday.

Here's how I look at it. I've never been a fan of Popick posting the Pay-Per-Views. It's nothing personal against him, but I simply get the feeling he doesn't put much effort into them. Some Guy, you've been gone for a while, so I'm figuring you haven't had a chance to read through some of the PPVs he posted. Some of the problems I've encountered: 1) There are practically no transitions between segments when Popick posts the shows. This gives the PPVs a rather unprofessional, jerky feel to them. Take the past two shows he posted for example: Zero Hour and Climax. There were no beginnings to them. At Zero Hour, he simply posted the graphic Papacita made, then flashed right to a Phenom segment. There was no introduction to the show. No buildup. No rundown of the card. Nothing. Climax was the same thing. We went from some Christmas poem at the beginning right to Cappa's segment. No buildup. No transition. This trend continues through most of the PPVs that Popick posts. In my opinion, it just makes the shows look poor. Why not take that extra effort to add the hype at the beginning of the show? The quick announcer interaction in between matches and promos? Hoff and Patty do it for HeldDowns. Tony does it for his PPVs. Popick never seems to do it. It's just simple cut-and-paste jobs without any rhyme, reason, or flow to them. What's the point? 2) Besides those problems that have encountered most PPVs Popick has posted, some of them have turned out to be a complete disaster. Look at License to Pin for an example of that. The EoD tournament was botched quite badly, to the point where it hasn't even be fixed today. Look at the show now to see the situation was never fixed. And of course, I had an issue with how my Hell-in-a-Cell match with Cappa was treated as well, with Popick suddenly turning Cappa heel without my knowledge the segment directly BEFORE my match. The entire show was a mess. Even something as recent as completely forgetting to leave a spot for the Dude/Calvin match at Zero Hour -- which was a match that received a lot of buildup throughout the month for anyone that reads through the shows. Chuck had to edit the show to include the match himself. People make mistakes, sure. I'm not perfect either. But this kind of stuff seems to happen on a consistent basis. 3) I get the feeling that Popick is not even in-tune with matters in the OAOAST anymore. He doesn't seem to know any of the storylines. He hardly ever leaves feedback. He doesn't seem to interact with anybody in the federation anymore. He's just here to glue together random matches for a PPV, then sink back into the background for two more months. I don't see why we don't try to get someone who's actually involved with the federation and knows what's going on to post the shows. Popick doesn't even give off the impression that he knows anymore. This then shows in his work. Hell, supposedly, he didn't even know he was holding the Italian Title for seven months -- despite the fact that he wrote the match where he won it! We need someone more involved. 4) The least he could have done was address the issues in the Italian/24-7 Title thread in an honest manner. Instead, he made a post where he outright lied, saying that he didn't know a thing about holding the Italian title, which has been disproven already. He hasn't posted there since to address the manner. We had a discussion there about him being replaced in posting the PPVs, and he simply ignored it, coming into this thread instead to tell everyone when to send in his segments. He has these matters being brought up to him, and he just shrugs him aside. That bothers me personally. For these reasons, I would like to take over the PPV posting duties from Popick for the time being. I don't really see why we have to wait anymore to do it. Whatever Tony would like for his match, I would be perfectly willing to do. But I mean, we've had Popick posting these shows for months already, and I think a change would be welcome. Waiting any longer just seems pointless to me at this point. However, we should make a decision pretty soon so everyone knows who to send their stuff to. I mean, I think most people don't have a problem sending their stuff to me. Tony seems to have an issue with it, and I certainly understand that, but I hope it's not too much of a problem. If it is Tony, feel free to PM me, man. Well, there we go. This is why I feel the matter should be addressed now, rather than waiting another few months to take action. I think the waiting should be finished at this point.

.....where is the Drek Stone shirt?! It's guaranteed cash!

Hmm. I don't really see why we have to wait. I'll take good care of you, Tony. You my boy. That Main Event slot is automatically yours. You just have to tell me anything special you want. And KC, writing the introduction to the show is perfectly fine with me. I mean, as far as I'm concerned, I'll post the show this month. If there are any true objections, let me know. But considering I have the backing of most here, I don't see why not.

Well, let's see. I said I should post the shows. I have Hoff, Adam, Mascot, Chuck, and CWM on my side. Popick seems to be trying to completely avoid the issue altogether. I mean, I said in the other thread that others should comment on the matter -- specifically the mods. Unfortunately, no one else commented on the situation. Patty, your opinion would be appreciated. As would Tony, Eski, CC, and Zack. And, of course, Popick. And anyone else that wishes to throw in their opinion here too. I'm sure Popick and I could both take criticism concerning the matter, so feel free to say what you want.

Hey Popick, while you're here.... Funeral Service for the Italian and 24/7 Titles There is a thread that requires your immediate attention.

Dama, are you especially tough on the kids that take a book off the shelf, but then don't put it back exactly where they found it? Violation of the Dewey Decimal System endangers libraries all over the country.

I thank God everyday for security guards like Dama. I can't tell you how many times I get intimidated by those kids in the library that don't have a lid on their drinks. They think they are just TOO cool for the rules. Bout time somebody put those punks in their place.

Man, the way you describe it, you would think these security guards have actual power....

As far as I know, Papacita is gone from the OAOAST for the time being. Of course, this could mean that we're missing a person to do our PPV graphics. I'm not absolutely sure he's not going to be doing them, but better safe than sorry. If there's anyone here good at Photoshop that would like to volunteer their services for the upcoming PPVs, it would definitely be appreciated. And, of course....if Papa does still plan to do graphics, then that's great. Just drop me a line if this is the case. I just thought it was important to throw this out there. The graphics are actually one of my favorite aspects of the PPVs, and it would be a real shame to see them die. So hopefully, there's someone out there that actually has the ability to do a nice job on these. Let me know.

If I'm being honest, I really think other people should comment on this matter of PPV postings. Notably the other mods here. I'm sure most have an opinion on this issue, whether it be one way or the other. If it's against me, feel free to say it. I'm a big boy. I can take criticism. If it's against Popick, I'm sure he could take the criticism too. But I definitely feel this is an important matter and, if there was ever a time to discuss it, now would be the time. Just let your opinion be known. Feelings be damned. I've made my opinion clear. I think I should take over the PPV posting duties from Popick.