Here's Neilsen's match. It's a really good...um...promo. So-so match. Wildchild was harder to write for than I first thought he'd be.
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Stevens: “Close the shutters, barricade the doors and strap yourselves down because the SWF Storm has returned!”
Riley: “After a great Pay Per View like…(Riley rubs his head)…like From the Fire…we’ve got a great show lined up to keep the momentum rolling.”
Stevens: “That’s right Bobby. We’ve already heard from the NEW World Champion, TNT, we’ve seen the debut of Déjà vu Kris-”
Riley: “Them boys ain’t right.”
Stevens: “-and next, we’ve got two men with amazing victories at From the Fire! Wildchild, the man who beat Jay Dawg in a steel cage for the career of Johnny Dangerous-
Riley: “He got lucky.”
Stevens: “-and the man who beat the ICTV Champion, Frost, after missing a year of action, Neilsen of the-”
Riley: “Go Wild!”
Funyon enters the ring as “The Everlasting Gaze,” by Smashing Pumpkins plays. The fans explode in anticipation of the arrival of the Wild One.
Stevens: “Wildchild sure has gotten a popularity boast after his win over JD.”
Riley: “How could he not? We’re talking about a win over a former #1 Contender.”
Wildchild springs out from behind the curtain onto the stage to a chorus of cheers, banging his head in time with his music and a multitude of people in the crowd wearing Wild and Dangerous T-shirts can be seen banging their heads along with him. Wildchild slaps hands with the fans at ringside as he jogs towards the ring, he turns, leaps, somersaults between the bottom and middle ropes, springs back to his feet and immediately runs to the ropes and leaps atop them, posing for the receptive audience. The man with aqua, black and yellow facepaint, wearing a aqua wrestling leotard and sporting bare feet with his wrists, fingers and ankles taped up springs back down as Funyon raises the mic.
Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, introducing first, hailing from the Bahamas and weighing in at 217 lbs., The Wiiiilllldchiiillllldddd!!!”
The fans roar as Wild leaps in the air and throws a fist high.
Funyon: “And his opponent…”
A heavy beat starts to bump as images of a man pulling on black fingerless gloves, black elbowpads and black kneepads. “…can you feel that?” The man’s scarred chest is shown with a black wifebeater being pulled over it. His arms can be seen pumping. His sandaled feet are shown hopping up and down. “Aw shit…” Images of the man from behind walking into an arena bearing a steel chair are shown. “Ooooo…ah ah ah ah!” The man explodes out from behind the curtain with his steel chair and the joyous ovation of many ticket holders is soon drowned out by the disgust of the majority.
Funyon: “-hailing from Chicago, Illinois, weighing in at 245 lbs., he is the former ICTV Champion, ladies and gentlemen, this is Neeeeiiiiiiiillllllllseeeeennnn!!!”
The Jungle King flies down the ramp, throws his chair into the ring, rolls in after it, grabs it as he rises and throws his right arm high to get an overwhelming amount of verbal bile thrown at him. He chuckles, turns around and squints at Wildchild.
NotJ: (Inaudibly) “Pssshhh…”
The Hardcore King walks over to Funyon and rips away the mic. A few catcalls ring out as the crowd readies for a deadly diatribe, and for the same reason, the majority is now silent.
NotJ: “Get the f**k out of here Funboy.”
Funyon slowly exits the ring. Neilsen looks Wildchild up and down and then looks back in the direction of the SWFtron and the backstage area.
NotJ: “What? Is this some kind of f**kin’ joke? (Neilsen looks back at Wildchild and then back towards the ‘tron.) Are you trying to f**kin’ mock me Suicide? Look at him. (Neilsen faces and points at WC.) The long hair, the bare feet, the very f**kin’ name… (Neilsen looks back once more.) Is this your f**kin’ half-baked version of the Jungle King? Are you honestly so desperate to get people interested in this piece of sh*t you’ve deemed the SWF that you’ve resorted to hiring carbon copies of the legends who used to make you their bitch? Is Frost supposed to be Rane? Flesher Stubby? Xero was obviously the reincarnation of Wilson. And is Jay Dawg supposed to be…well…heh…f**kin’ Jay Dawg? And is this (Neilsen thrusts a finger at Wildchild.) is this sorry piece of sh*t supposed to be me!?!”
Neilsen turns back as WC fumes behind him. Neilsen seems to be unaware of his very existence.
NotJ: “You know why I threw down that damned title belt Suicide? Because that son of a f**kin’ bitch didn’t deserve to be around this fine ass waist! See, while you undoubtedly craved, pined over that sh*t for God knows how long, that isn’t even a f**kin’ consolation prize for the Original King of the WF. Back in the IGNJL, I tried time and time again to throw down the European Title because I knew with the severe lack of talent down there, being anything but the World Champion didn’t mean sh*t. And to tell ya’ the truth Commish…(Neilsen glares meaningfully at Wildchild.)…this place reeks of the JL.”
Neilsen turns away from Wildchild once more. WC stews and starts hopping around, warming up for the beating he plans to unleash.
NotJ: “And Suicide, I threw that damned belt because it was an insult to me, and to these stupid f**kin’ fans out here-”
The crowd’s verbal response causes Neilsen to stop talking. He turns to face them.
NotJ: “…are you f**kin’ done?”
Crowd: “Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!”
NotJ: “F**k you. (Neilsen turns back.) I threw that damned belt down because I’m the only man who f**kin’ can! The only man who knows there are more important things that he can do, that knows there are more important things he can achieve and knows that there are more important things than gold…and one of those f**kin’ things is me! Christ Suicide, do like your name says and f**kin’ kill yourself already! You’re punishing me by throwing me against f**kin’ jobbers (Neilsen points a thumb back at WC without turning around.) because you know that those bitches in the back consider it a greater achievement to beat me than to win one of your f**kin’ belts! What was Cyclone Comet’s greatest achievement? He Russian legswept not just anyone, but ME, off a cell! What would it do for this little junior f**ker in the ring with me if he actually won tonight?”
Wildchild looks pissed!
NotJ: “He’d get in World Title consideration this very day while I will undoubtedly have to win for three months straight and then compete for a f**kin’ chance at a World Title match featuring five other guys! You’re just pissed that despite all you’ve helped ‘build’ around here is for f**kin’ naught because the return of Neilsen is the most important thing to happen to the SWF! You’re pissed because in one night, I outshone the brightest star you’ve built, an old Mexican running buddy of yours from a f**kin’ freakshow! No wonder these dumb f**ks that bought tickets for this sh*t cheered the hell outta’ me when I arrived. They were desperate to be saved of the pain caused by being subjected to a year of Freakshows, Thugs and pretenders to the f**kin’ throne. A year of being forced to watch matches featuring so-called ‘main-eventers’ and useless hacks! (Neilsen spins around and points at Wildchild.) Like this little whore right here!”
Neilsen goes nose to nose with Wildchild and neither man backs down. Fire could shoot out of Wild’s nostrils right now and Neilsen-just laughs and turns back around.
NotJ: “And now…now you get a real main-eventer. A man people can get behind. A man people can f**kin’ hate. …I really don’t give a flyin’ f**k… But what do you do? What do you do when a legend arrives, a man who’s a bigger star than you can ever hope to be? You book him in a match for the ICTV Championship!?! (Neilsen tries to pull at his hair, still apparently unused to it being so short.) You were trying to hold me down! Giving me a title shot…giving me gold you knew I would win just to keep me away from your precious SWF World Title! Unlike you Suicide, I had gold around my waist my entire f**kin’ career and it never got me sh*t! The ICTV title didn’t deserve to be around my waist, much like the World didn’t belong around Hville’s, but for completely different reasons. But that belt didn’t deserve me…(Neilsen looks back at WC.)…and a match with this f**kin’ bare-foot backwards bastard doesn’t deserve me either. I threw down the ICTV Championship and now…(Neilsen drops his head, smirks and looks back up.)…I’m walking out on one of your f**kin’ matches. …roar mother f**ker.”
Neilsen smirks, Wild’s eyes grow wide, Neilsen’s left foot hits the ring apron and-Wildchild charges, leaps over the Jungle King, grabs his head, brings it down on the top rope and the crowd explodes as Neilsen goes flying back and Wildchild hits the floor! Kivell signals for the bell!
Ding! Ding!
Neilsen scrambles to his feet, trying to regain his dignity as Wild slides back in. Neilsen backs off, dumbfounded as Wild enters. “What the f**k do you thing you’re-,” Neilsen is overheard saying, the mic still in his right hand. Kivell kicks out the chair and Wild charges! He flies at Neilsen and-Neilsen drops, Wild hops over, rebounds, Neilsen leapfrogs, Wild runs under, Neilsen falls to his back, Wild rebounds, Neilsen sticks his feet out, Wild takes a leaping headfirst dives, rolls to his feet by the ropes, Neilsen kips up, Wild charges and-Neilsen’s left hand grabs Wildchild by the hair and Wild gets hurled over the top rope to the floor!
Stevens: “Damn Wildchild just had his own momentum used against him.”
Riley: “Why the hell wouldn’t Wild just take the default victory?”
Stevens: “Maybe he has more respect for himself than that.”
Riley: “But Neilsen still managed to punk him out.”
Neilsen looks down at Wildchild his prone by the ramp and lifts the mic.
NotJ: “Don’t you know who the f**k I am!?! Take this beating as learning experience…you don’t f**k with Neilsen!”
The Jungle King drops the mic as he heads out of the ring. He passes by the Wild One and starts heading back up the ramp. Various items are being thrown at him as he makes his way to the back.
Stevens: “I can’t believe this! Neilsen’s just going to leave!?!”
Riley: “He doesn’t have respect for anybody.”
The Jungle King is at the stage as Wild rises. Wild takes of with unbelievable speed after the man as Kivell counts, “One!” Neilsen turns to mock the fans one last time-and the crowd pops as the Wild One takes him down! Wildchild starts beating the living shit outta’ Neilsen as Kivell shouts, “Two!” The crowds going crazy as Wild lets up, hauls Neilsen to his feet and takes him charging to the ring! Wild throws Neilsen in, climbs up the ring ropes, Neilsen staggers to his feet, Wild springs, Neilsen jumps and-
Stevens: “-eats a springboard missile dropkick!”
Riley: “Wildchild just took down the Jungle King!”
Wild scrambles to make a cover and gets the-
ONE!
TWO!
THR-Neilsen kicks out!
Stevens: “Omigawd! Neilsen’s so unprepared for this contest he’s almost faced his quickest loss yet!”
Riley: “Unprepared? (Riley snorts.) More like unable to fuckin’ win! He’s met his match tonight!”
Wildchild quickly rises, grabs Neilsen, whips him at the ropes, Neilsen rebounds, Wild leapfrogs, Neilsen runs under, stops, turns and-
Stevens: “-gets to feet straight to his face with a backflip kick!”
Riley: “Neilsen’s being schooled!”
Wildchild hooks a leg as he sits on Neilsen’s chest for the-
ONE!
TWO!
THR-The crowd moans as Neilsen kicks out again.
Stevens: “They were behind at least a few of Neilsen’s covers at From the Fire.”
Riley: “But now he’s up against an undisputed face underdog who he verbally ripped on without a care. They’d much rather see Neilsen lose than win this time.”
Wildchild gets back up as Neilsen quickly stumbles to his feet. Wild charges, Neilsen leaps, runs, both rebound, Wild leaps, Neilsen runs under, both rebound, Neilsen swings a right, Wild ducks, rebound, Wild tries a leg lariat, Neilsen runs under, Wild hits the ground, rolls, Neilsen stops, both turn, Wild charges and-Neilsen catches him, spins him around in a Juvi-Wild cartwheels through, charges, leaps, locks his legs around Neilsen’s-the Jungler, grabs him beneath the thighs, hurls him back, Wild’s feet lands on the second rope, Neilsen smirks, turns around and-Wild leaps back, twists in mid-air, latches onto Neilsen’s head and plants him with a springboard Tornado DDT! Neilsen goes flying across the ring, Wild runs at him, leaps over, jumps on the top turnbuckles, leaps back and nails Neilsen with a moonsault! Kivell goes down to count-
ONE!
TWO!
THR-No! Neilsen kicks out again!
Riley: “God fuckin’ dammit!”
Wild gets back up, a run at the far ropes, rebounds, Neilsen gets back up, turns and-eats a flying forearm! He goes back down, gets back up and-WHAM!-Neilsen gets blasted with a right! Again, again, again, again, again and again! Neilsen is dazed and confused as Wild grabs him, whips him across-Neilsen holds on, yanks Wild back in, throws an arm around his shoulder and-Wild twists out, holds onto the arm, leaps onto the top rope, walks a few inches, the crowd buzzes and then explodes as Wild leaps off and sends Neilsen flying with a springboard armdrag! Neilsen rolls across the ring, Wild charges, leaps, latches on a hurricanrana, spins the two of them around, reaches back, grabs the top rope and sends Neilsen flying over and to the floor!
Stevens: “Neilsen just got dropped like a sack of bricks right in front of us!”
Riley: “Let me get ‘im!”
Stevens: “No! The last thing we need is for you to get taken out from another match.”
Wildchild stands on the ring apron and holds up a fist, causing the crowd to roar! He steps back into the ring, charges the far ropes, rebounds, Neilsen gets to all fours, Wildchild leaps, Neilsen stands and gets planted with a Corkscrew Plancha! The crowd roars once more as an ecstatic Wildchild pumps his fists!
Stevens: “Wildchild is out cruiserweighting the former Light-Heavyweight Champion!”
Riley: “Did you ever doubt it? He’s taking Neilsen out of his traditional high-risk style and now the Jungler’s going down! I’ve been waiting to see someone hand his ass to him!”
Wildchild throws the Jungler back into the ring. He then ascends to the ring apron, leaps to the top of the turnbuckles, twists in mid-air so his back’s to the ring, shouts to the crowd, “Falling Star!,” to an unbelievable ovation, leaps back while flipping forward 450 degrees and-crashes to the mat!
Stevens: “Neilsen moved! Neilsen moved!”
Riley: “That damn Tarzan bastard barely avoided disaster!”
Neilsen is slow to rise as Wildchild is still down clutching his gut. He grabs the man, whips him at the far ‘buckles, Wild leaps, Neilsen charges, Wild lands on the top, flips back, twists in the air and plants Neilsen with the Andros Drop! He hooks both legs and-Neilsen turns it into a victory roll! “One! Two!” Wild kicks out. Neilsen whips him, Wild rebounds, Neilsen ducks, Wild turns around, leaps backward, rolls across Neilsen’s back, locks his legs around Neilsen’s head and plants him with a Junkanoo! Wildchild turns around, drags Neilsen by the turnbuckles, faces them, shouts, “That’s it!,” climbs up and-Neilsen rushes to his feet, falls on the top rope and Wildchild gets crotched! Neilsen climbs up after him, latches onto the man’s waist and-one elbow to Neilsen’s head! Another, another and another sends him flying back! Neilsen crashes to the mat, WC slowly rises, turns, leaps, pumps his arms, turns 180 and hits a-
Stevens: “Twisting Frog Splash!”
Riley: “It’s over!”
Kivell hits the mat and Wildchild gets-
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-NO!
Stevens: “Neilsen kicked out!”
Riley: “How!?!”
Wildchild thinks the same thing as he rips at his own hair, picks up Neilsen, whips him at the ropes, he rebounds, Wildchild leaps, grabs Neilsen’s head, flips over and Neilsen goes flying through the air in a Freefall! Neilsen sails over the top rope, Wild charges and the Jungler’s hands latch onto the rope! He sails throw the middle and bottom rope and-Wild leaps and plants both feet square to Neilsen’s chest! The back of the Jungler’s neck is against the bottom rope while Wildchild stands on his throat, using the top rope for added leverage. Wild bounces up and down to draw greater and greater cheers from the fans. Wild hops back, throws up an arm, the fans explode and only grow louder as he charges the far ropes, the fans chant, “Go Wild! Go Wild! Go Wild!,” Neilsen turns over while staying on the bottom rope, Wildchild rebounds, flies across the ring, latches onto the middle and bottom rope and nails Neilsen with-
Stevens: “The Chicklet Buster!”
Riley: “It’s over Neilsen!”
Wildchild leaps over the top rope, charges, jumps, plants both feet to Neilsen’s gut, bounces high, lands on the top rope, flips back and…lands on his feet as Neilsen rolls out of the ring. The Jungler runs the back of a glove across his lips, stares up at Wildchild, stares back at the fans, gives them a disgusted look, stares back at Wildchild and waves him away. Neilsen turns and starts heading back up the ramp.
Riley: “That fuckin’ coward! He’s running away!”
Wildchild’s eyes go wide, he charges, rolls out of the ring, runs up the ramp and-Neilsen spins and blasts Wildchild down to the steel ramp with a right hand! Kivell shouts, “One!” Neilsen starts stomping away at the Wild One with rapid blows. “Two!” “Neilsen’s reverted to brawling tactics. I think he realizes trying to match Wildchild’s cruiser style is a no-win situation,” states Stevens. “Four!” Neilsen hauls Wildchild up, slaps on a headlock, charges, leaps over the ringsteps and plants Wild’s face into them with a bulldog! “Five!” Neilsen rolls back into the ring and takes a seat, still breathless from the ferocity of Wildchild’s full steam assault. “Six!” Wildchild starts to stand. “Seven!” He makes it to his feet. “Eight!” “Ni-!” Wild bolts back in to the cheers of the fans, charges, swings a-Neilsen throws an arm over his shoulder and plants him with a Book-End! Neilsen bounces to his feet, spins 180, falls backward onto Wildchild and Kivell counts-
ONE!
TWO!
THRE-No!
Stevens: “Wildchild’s kicked out!”
Riley: “Neilsen’s going to lose!”
Wild and Neilsen both get up, Wild charges, leaps, Neilsen runs under, both rebound, Neilsen swings, Wild ducks, rebound, Neilsen leaps, slaps on a sleeper, spins 180 and-losses his grip, stumbles backward, charges, Wild catches him with a backbody-Neilsen lands on his feet, Wild turns into a-Superkick!-No! Wild grabs it, spins Neilsen around and hits him with a-Superki-Neilsen grabs his foot, spins him around and-boot to Neilsen’s gut, side headlock, twist, stun-Neilsen shoves him away, Wild charges back, Neilsen catches him in a Juvi-Wild cartwheels out, charges, leaps, Neilsen ducks, Wild lands, both men turn, boot to Wild’s gut, side headlock, arm thrown out to the side-smacks Kivell in the face. He briefly goes down as Neilsen twists and hits a stun-Wild shoves him away-a hooded man leaps over the barricade with a steel chair and cracks Neilsen’s cranium as steel meets skull! Neilsen falls back, Wild rolls him up for a School Boy and-
ONE!
TWO!
THREE-NO!!!
Stevens: “Neilsen kicked out! Neilsen kicked out!”
Riley: “What the-Who the hell is that?”
Stevens: “It’s Johnny Dangerous!”
The fans roar as Johnny throws back the hood. Neilsen stands, Wild charges, Johnny climbs to the apron, Neilsen leaps, Wild runs under, they turn, Kivell confronts Johnny, Neilsen grabs Wildchild, whips him and-Kivell dodges, Wild smashes into Dangerous, stumbles back, turns, boot, headlock, twist, STUNNER!!! Wildchild flies, Neilsen chases hooks a leg and beats his head along with the count of…
Stevens: “McTwist! McTwist! McTwist! It’s over!”
Riley: “No!”
ONE!
TWO!
THREE!
Ding! Ding! Ding!
Funyon: “Ladies and gentlemen, your winner, Neiiilllllseeeenn…of…the…Juuuuunnnngggllllllllle!!!!”
“Oooooo…ah ah ah ah!,” blasts over the loudspeakers as Neilsen’s hand is raised and then as he heads backup the ramp. The crowd jeers him all the way.
Stevens: “Another victory for Neilsen in his war against the SWF for the honor and respect he feels he’s been denied.”
Riley: “Honor!?! Respect!?! Neilsen doesn’t know the meaning of those words. He got off on this! Taking almost everything Wildchild had and still getting the win…the Jungle Freak will no doubt belittle the great effort this man put forth…treat him like a jobber…a little shit…a nobody…a nothing. He has no respect for anybody! He has no sense of the word honor. He-”
NotJ: “Hey kid!”
Wildchild looks up at the stage as Johnny Dangerous looks on as well, standing by the Wild One.
NotJ: (Panting) “Good f**kin' match…”
Stevens&Riley: “…”
Riley: “What the hell was that!?!”
