Swift Terror

People in bank lines have no sense of people around them. In short, they suck. I was at the bank location inside the local Kroger by my home. The line starts in the middle as you approach the counter. It is roped off, with exits to the left and right. So I'm standing there, next up to go to the counter, 2 sets of people being helped in front of me. The first set finishes and instead of walking to the left or right, they walk towards me and push their way past with what little room there is. Then the second set finishes and they too turn around and wedge past me. It would never occur to me to do this when I'm done at the bank counter. I simply walk off to the right and don't bother the people waiting. What is the deal with the people? They're just oblivious I guess. Phil did not make bad decisions yesterday on the 18th hole of the U.S. Open. If you pay attention to golf, you're probably hearing from the media about how he screwed up, it's back to the old reckless Phil, he should've hit the 4-wood on 18, and on and on. I can't wait to laugh tonight at the dopes on ATH and PTI rip him a new one for making poor shot making choices. Poor is the word alright, but it was poor shots, not poor decisions that caused the double bogey on 18 that lost the Open for Phil. Phil said that the fairways were ridiculously firm and that he had hit perfect tee shots that rolled off the fairway earlier in the round. In fact, a couple of these shots were struck with irons, not his driver. In light of this, he chose the driver on 18 rather than the 4-wood (he did not have a 3-wood in his bag) with the thinking being that a 4-wood in the rough would leave him with very long yardage. Driver in the rough, he's much closer. I know, how about not driving in the rough? Well, again, he said it was very difficult to keep it in the fairway even with a decent tee shot. And the second shot. We never saw the shot he had. NBC never showed the view from behind him. It turns out it wasn't that difficult, he just needed a fade shot just like the one he made on 17 to get a par. He hit a bad shot, bottom line, he admitted as much. Oh, and Jeff Ogilvy did NOT back into the win. He had a great chip-in at 17 and a difficult, pressure packed slightly downhill putt on 18. Had he made those shots behind Phil and Monty instead of in front of them, there would be no talk of backing into it.

Steelers quarterback Ben Roethlisberger was on a morning sports talk show in Cincinnati (2 Angry Guys) this morning, pimping his "reality league" web site or whatever it is. Shortly thereafter, he was injured in a motorcycle accident. Thank you for coming on a Cincinnati radio show, Ben, I for one am glad you did. Speaking of the 2 Angry Guys, they got into hot water a couple weeks ago for putting out the idea that Griffey Jr. should be open to changing positions in order to reduce wear and tear on his body. Their opinions angered Jr and even got a mention on the ESPN show "Around the Horn". Jr made the comment that they hadn't played the game at this level, so they should shut up. And the talking heads on ATH said athletes shouldn't listen to the morons on talk radio. Now former Reds star center fielder Eric Davis has echoed the view of the angry guys. I wonder what Jr's comments will be now?

No fucking shit? It's a small world. Of course I went there before the new school was built, which is gigantic and looks very nice.

Yeah, the place Hawk is talking about is in Mason. I grew up there and went to high school in Mason. The freakin Ohio Civil Rights Commission got involved and tried to impose fines on the owner. Never mind the fact that certain state highway (Ohio Dept. of Transportation) truck stops have "English only" signs. One area where the Soccer haters have a point: when teams are excited about the game ending in a 0-0 tie because they weren't expecting to win in the first place. I mean what the hell, Americans just don't relate to that mindset. I'm guessing back in the day when football had ties the teams were not at all pleased over the game ending that way.

I need to apologize for my flippant comment about Ben Roethlisberger's accident in my main post. I thought it was a minor thing, based on initial reports, but now I see a report that it was in fact a serious injury. I don't want to see the guy get seriously hurt.

That's right, he's old school, he doesn't...er excuse me...dudn't get today's game. It's a whole new ballgame and he just dudn't understand.

Mike Gallagher's career in radio may be coming to an end. He just wished for (9:10 am Friday) the execution of the various Leftist pundits who have not exactly expressed joy over the killing of the Z-man in Iraq. He was quite serious about shooting the likes of Jerry Springer (Air America talker), Randi Rhodes, and some congressman, among others, for treason. I don't know, I've never heard something this extreme from him. This has to cause problems, I don't see how this will just blow over. Edit: He just said that he is not "calling for" the assasination of these people. He is just wishing for their execution. Whatever, you decide what he means and if this is a big deal or not.

Beck is right, take Z's body and wrap it in bacon and put a ham hat on. Maybe a pigskin suit would be better. And now....the Top Gear car review!! BMW Z4 M series Richard Hammond says: BMW have stripped the car of the usual technological gadgets and created a raw performance car. A normal, basic manual transmission as opposed to the 2-in-1 automatic/manual paddle shift transmission that are now popular on high-end sports cars. Fun on the track, pedestrian in everyday life.

Well, Michelle Wie did not qualify for the U.S. Open. Now, I was all for Wie being able to attempt to qualify, but some of the commentators and sports journalists (ESPN of course) who agree with me are just pathetic. They are on Wie's side only because of political correctness. I just look at it as just another person who may have the ability to compete on the PGA tour. Watching the live cut ins on ESPN was a hoot--when it became clear she wasn't going to make it, the comments by the dumbass PC commentators were truly pathetic. One nitwit sportscaster on ESPN (don't know his name, he's a regular) kept saying "What went wrong, how come she fell back". The woman who was at the golf course was trying to explain how in the world this could've happened. Uh, maybe because she's a 16-year old girl with little experience on a PGA course under these pressure circumstances. Even the experienced men had trouble dealing with the pressure, etc. Steve Fleisch, who at one point was leading the Memorial tournament last week (one of the biggest and most prestigious events on the tour) failed to make it. Everyone was acting as though it was a disaster, it was as if Dwayne Wade just went 0-20 in the first half of the NBA final.

I think the qualifying mark was -3 and she shot even or -1. Yeah, by the time she's 18 I'd bet she'll be qualifying for just about any PGA event.

I never understood why people going to church insist on slapping on gallons of perfume or cologne. Going to church as kid, the only thing I remembered was the old ladie's supercharged perfume. My brother-in-law (the guy who married my sister) is very good with fixing things, home improvement, you name it. It helps that he has his own house painting/house work business, but much of what he does should be within the talents of any guy. Sadly, none of them fall within my talents. He built a fence-thing around my parent's back deck not long after they were married. It looks fantastic and serves as a reminder that I have never done anything like it. But he's a great guy, we get along.

Michelle Wie is attempting to qualify for the U.S. Open. I'm hearing many voices of idiocy from people who should know better. People are saying she shouldn't be allowed to do this, just stay on the LPGA, etc. Shut up, you dumbfucks. She's playing from the same tees. Everything is equal. The PGA is not a men only organization. Whoever you are, if you are good enough to play under the same rules as everyone else, you should be allowed to compete. If this were some bogus thing like having her play from separate tees, yes, screw that. But that's not the case here. Oh yeah, she's kinda hot, but I will not comment any further until she turns 18. Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver Chris Henry was arrested YET AGAIN a couple days ago. This time DUI and speeding. He just got through a court hearing for a separate arrest while in Florida. It's hard to figure how someone could be so damn dumb. But the Bengals should keep him, because in the Pros it's about winning and nothing else. If they cut him, someone else will pick him up and he could come back to haunt the Bengals down the road. Last I checked the Ravens had 2 star players get prison time, or at least were found guilty of some crime. Who cares, this aint high school. The Steelers new draft pick, Santonio Holmes recently got into trouble. But they'd do well to keep him because he'll help them win games. I hear guys on the radio saying "cut that creep Henry, we don't need that kind of player on our team". Oh really? You want a bunch of saints on your team and go .500? Can you imagine the shit the dudes back in the 70s did off the field in the NFL? Holy Christ, it'd make your hair turn white. This is the Pros baby, deal with it. The French Open was NOT broadcast in HD on NBC over the weekend. I hate you, NBC...unless it was out of their control. I think they just use the French TV feed for their broadcast, so maybe they were unable to show it in HD. I'm still pissed though. And it looks like Martina Hingis is advancing nicely. The occasional skirt fly-up is the real reason I want the HD. Hingis appears to have really gotten into great shape. At least I'm honest. Muslims terrorists--some Canadian citizens--were captured in Ontario. They were planning bomb attacks in Ontario. During the same week, the Ontario division of the largest trade union in Canada was calling for a boycott against Israel for mistreatment against Palestinians. Man, that is divine irony. I watched Rob Zombie's "House of 1000 Corpses" over the weekend on the Independent Film Channel. Wow, what a mess. And talk about ripping off Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Oh, I guess the part where one of the killers uses the facial skin of one of his victims as a mask--just like Leatherface--was supposed to be a homage. Well, it was one clumsily done homage, I'd call it a rip-off any day. And I've heard plenty about the sequel, "Devil's Rejects". And this leads me to the conclusion that Zombie is one gutless wonder. Sure, he has his killers torture and kill normal white people--in the case of "Reject's" an overtly Christian family is tortured and put to death. Zombie doesn't show any blacks or other minority group as victims. Nor do you see a Muslim family tied up and tortured. Zombie would not want to appear bigoted I'm sure and I guarantee he doesn't want to piss off Muslims. But cruelty against Christians is fun!

Piggybacking on kkk's story about an eyeglass coupon and the fine print, I recently had a coupon/discount offer that went awry. I have this tracfone thing, which is a cell phone without any contracts, you just have to buy airtime every few months. I got this offer in the mail for a free reconditioned phone if you buy 60 minutes of airtime. I was due in a few weeks to buy airtime anyway, so I decided to do it. The ad said that the offer was only available at the website or by calling. The ad featured the main website URL and nothing else. Since I avoid these kinds of 800 numbers at all costs, I just went to the website, which I had used many times before to buy airtime. There was nothing on the main page about this offer. So I went to "buy airtime". Still didn't see anything, but I went ahead and bought the airtime, thinking maybe something would come up during the procedure. Still nothing. So I braced myself and called the 800 number. This number had the mother of all bullcrap menu option loops. There was no option to speak directly with someone and none of the options covered the topic I was calling about. I just started picking stuff and kept getting sent to automated responses. Finally I found something that would get me to a live person and the real fun began. He started off by telling me that the offer was only good if you called and bought airtime. I pointed out to him that the ad had clearly stated that you could go to the web site. Then he told me you had to click on "buy phone" from the main web page in order to get the offer. I said there was nothing that directed me to that link, and I had already bought the airtime. He kept telling me I have to go to the "buy phone" link, but that would involve buying another 60 minutes. Talk about misleading bullcrap. The ad said nothing about that and the web page didn't direct you to that link. To have the offer hidden under "buy phone" is nuts. Yeah, I know I should have called before going ahead with the purchase, but I followed the ad's instructions.

I have never been among those sports fans in America that hate soccer. I don't hate soccer, I'll probably even watch some of the World Cup this summer. Sports talk radio in the U.S. absolutely HATES soccer and I don't really know why they are so worked up about it. But I will say that these smug World Cup commercials are really getting on my nerves. The first one talks about Liberia and how, due to the fact that they have a World Cup team, there is now a cease-fire and there's no more violence, blah, blah. Great, and what happens the minute the World Cup is over for them? The second one is even more googly-eyed about the World Cup's (more specifically the ball itself, according to the commercial) importance. It talks about people coming together all over the world, putting aside differences, even stopping wars. Hey, is Iran or North Korea fielding a team this time around? Now, I said I don't hate soccer, but one of the first things that comes to mind when the topic of soccer is brought up is that violence that occurs at soccer matches in Europe. The so-called "hooligans" and whatnot. Beatings, fires, tramplings, all that good stuff. It might get a country's people on the same page for a short time, but they're still going to hate the other country and that country's team. Some head-shaved hooligan is going to chuck a molotov cocktail at some poor bastard...all because of a ball.

Whatever happened to the word "doesn't"? Nobody says this word anymore. These days, it's all about "dudn't". I hear professional broadcasters on the radio say "dudn't" all the time. Even the freakin president has used it, although in his case it is not that shocking when you hear his other syntaxtical malformations. Is the word "dudn't" a reflection of our need to speed everything up? It seems "dudn't" is a quicker way to say "doesn't". Also, some people avoid "doesn't" because it sounds pretentious, like you're some jackass trying to sound educated. "Hey, do you believe this idiot on TV, look at him"! "Dudn't bother me." Barry Bonds hit home run No. 715, surpassing the legendary Babe Ruth. Don't care, I'm more interested in the fan who caught the now famous ball. He was standing in line for some peanuts and a beer while Bonds came up to bat and the ball pretty much just fell into his hand. I LOVE this. The dude doesn't even stay in his seat to see the at-bat and winds up with I guess a ball that is worth a few hundred grand. I happened to see Hank Aaron hit No. 714 in Cincinnati. My aunt was in the lady's room. And I might just have to start liking Bonds after he made the comment that he hopes the guy sells the ball and makes as much money as he can get. And now, a brand new segment on Triple Black. The weekly Top Gear car review!! I mentioned the British TV show Top Gear in a previous post. It's a great show, very well produced. The only thing I don't like about it is the insessant America-bashing. I mean these guys go way out of their way to rip on the USA. Yet I still watch, because when it comes to cars, the hosts and I are on the same page. So without further ado, here is the car review, plus a bonus review in celebration of the first segment ever. 1) 2006 Corvette Z06 This is the high performance version of the normal Corvette. Jeremy Clarkson did the review and like with all things American, in a real shocker, he didn't like it. Oh, he admitted it was very fast, but he objected to the cheap interior and the little bugs that went wrong. He also said it would be horrible as a daily driver because it was so uncomfortable. Now, if you can afford the $70,000 price tag, I'm sure you can mix in a Camry to drive to work. But, that's Clarkson for you. And of course the interior doesn't have the high quality of a Ferrari or Aston Martin--it's 10s of thousands of dollars LESS than those 6-figure cars. He did however express astonishment over a car that is the equal (in terms of speed) of a $160,000 Ferrari can be bought for Chevrolet's price. So basically he loved it as a track car but did not recommend it for driving on the road. 2) 2007 Jaguar XK Clarkson tested this completely redesigned model as well, and loved it...as long as one kept the car under 130 mph. He noticed a significant front end lift and lightness in the steering at speeds over 130. Not safe at all. This is due to the poorly designed rear spoiler, which causes too much downforce at the rear of the car, with no compensation at the front. He also criticized the antenna (looks like it came from a 1981 Ford) the lack of a new engine (same engine as the old model) and the lack of any new gadgets in the interior. He did however love the styling, and it is a truly gorgeous car. At one point he said he was torn on whether to drive it or to get an easel and start painting it. And while he bitched about the interior gadgetry, he did like the restyling of it, felt it was modern and crisp, all the old school wood trimming gone. Bottom line, he loved driving it and could put up with the nitpicking.

Classic Heavy Metal band Iron Maiden's Steve Harris has a daughter who is embarking on a singing career. No story here, just an excuse to check out a smokin hot babe. May is Heavy Metal month on VH1. I keep missing programming because there is VH1 and VH1 classic. And I never know which channel the Metal shows are going to be on (I've seen some on both channels) and I keep forgetting what channel VH1 classic is. Dammit, VH1, just put all the Metal programming on one f'ing channel. I did see some of the "Heavy: The Story of Metal" last night. Part of it featured Dee Snider (lead singer of Twisted Sister) battling Congress over explicit lyrics labels. Snider talked about the "Conservative oppression" of the 1980s. He didn't mention that Tipper Gore was the wife of a Democrat. I guess she was being "controlled" by Conservatives, perhaps an early iteration of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy. At one point in the hearings he was being questioned by Al Gore. Oddly, later they showed him performing at a campaign rally in California for Arnold. And when it comes to Metallica, I'm afraid I'm going to have to fall on the side of them being a sell-out. Ian Scott of Anthrax says he would fight anyone who says they're a sell-out. Well, let's take a look at this. When Metallica was starting out, their whole philosophy was "Fuck the Hair Metal/Glam Metal", we're just going to play hardcore thrash and we don't care how we look, etc. Then in the 90s, there they are, at the Grammys, Kirk Hammet wearing makeup, earrings, and a jive-ass burgundy sport jacket. Whatever you want to call it, they made a conscious decision to change the music and jump into the mainstream pop culture pool.

We have a local sports morning show here in Cincy featuring 2 guys who call themselves the "2 Angry Guys". They are former sports writers and are pretty cool to listen to. The show is entertaining. Recently they talked about Ken Griffey Jr. and the topic of him moving to another position, perhaps left field or 1st base, in order to reduce wear and tear on his body, which, let's face it, has been an issue lately. This topic was brought up because a few weeks ago Jr was asked about moving positions and he fired back to the reporter "Are you going to change YOUR job"? Hmmm, just a little bit of a childish response Jr. Now this week Griffey is responding to the 2 angry guys, apparently upset about their comments. Now, they may have gotten a bit out of hand with a few of their comments, such as saying that the guy who had replaced him in center field earlier this year was doing better. But that was a flippant comment. Their main point was that they wanted him in the line-up and felt that moving him out of center field would help prevent injury and ultimately be better for the team. That's reasonable and in no way were they trying to rip on him or call him a lousy fielder. Come on Jr., I guess living next to Tiger Woods in Tampa has rubbed off on you, what with Tiger's notortious smug responses to media questions about his game. The "LOST" season finale aired last night. I watched it in wonderful High Definition, but the experience was slightly marred by a local weather storm warning scroll at the top of the screen that went on for the entire 2 hours. Thanks for that, you local weather dickheads. As for the show itself, it exceeded my expectations of mediocrity. It was pretty darn good. Much better than the famous "X Files" full disclosure episode that was neither full nor disclosed anything. The explanation of what really caused the plane to crash in the first place was revealed. More background on Desmond and the hatch was revealed. The only thing that was frustrating was the "Hostiles" or "Others". Nothing much was revealed about them. The dude that they had captured said "We're the good guys" and that they were "going home". Yeah. OK, whatever. But all in all satisfying.

Yeah, same station as Lance, 1360 AM. Lance is still on air. A quick tip on watching Season 2 of Lost, that you probably already will do. Just hit the fast forward button anytime you see Charlie and/or his Australian chick friend with the baby. Oh God, please fast forward. Except for the part where the flashback is shown when her baby is taken by the Others.

Nader is a Hall of Fame piece of crap. His accusations that the Chevrolet Corvair was an unsafe car were proven to be untrue. He built his career on telling lies about the Corvair. Any book that exposes him further is alright by me.

Well, Sawyer and Locke were my favorites. Based on how things are going currently with the show, Locke is no longer cool. Jin and Sawyer are now my favorites, they just get better and better. Although they don't really give Jin much to do, which is a crime. By the way, Dr Romano is a bad guy on "24". He's awesome.

"Lost" polar bears-- No. The show will only frustrate you. When they find the hatch and get inside, it becomes promising, but then falls off once again. I'm not saying don't watch it, but boy are there times when I wish I could've fast forwarded. It has moments of true brilliance, followed by long moments of skull-numbing douche-ness. It has thus far never delivered on what the Dharma Initiative is (once they get in the hatch) or what mysterious forces influence/inhabit the island. In this sense it is like X-Files.

Thank God the Beach Boys didn't perform it. I like the Beach Boys. That would've turned me off of the Beach Boys forever.

Good God, if these people were around when I was in High School, they'd have thrown us...well, it'd be something akin to the Tower of London circa 1600. The things we did, thought, wrote, recorded, programmed on an Apple II circa 1983.....these parents would faint right on the spot. I'm sure most of the fathers are rolling their eyes.

Thank you ever so much for putting that sickening 70s pop song into my head. "We had joy we had fun we had seasons in the Sun" I'd like 5 minutes alone in a room with Terry Jacks. Damn song is disgustingly saccharin and melancholy. It's about some dude who is dying. May you rot in Hell Jacks.

There are plans to make another Star Trek film, going back to the era of Kirk and Spock, in an attempt to reinvigorate the franchise. This is, of course, the only way to bring back the magic of Star Trek and, if done correctly, will once again inject Trek into Pop Culture. However, this path is frought with dangers--dangers of serious movie-suckiness. The problem is simple. William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy ARE Kirk and Spock. Period. It will be very, very difficult to find 2 actors to take over the role--even if the film is set during their younger years. This problem can be demonstrated by taking a look at an attempt at a prequel from 1979. This prequel was called Butch and Sundance: the Early Days. Of course, it was trying to capture the greatness of the 1969 classic starring Paul Newman and Robert Redford. The 2 actors chosen were Tom Berenger and William Katt. Berenger you should be familiar with--Katt starred in the TV show "Greatest American Hero" in the 80s. It was a disaster because Berenger and Katt were just poor imitations of Newman and Redford. It's not really an insult to them, they just aren't Newman and Redford. I'm still all for the idea, I just have reservations. As long as the right people are trusted with doing it, it may turn out OK. Then again, look at Ghostbusters II and those 3 Star Wars prequels... Update: I just saw a news report where JJ Abrams is denying some of the earlier reports about a proposed Star Trek film. He also says it will not feature the characters Kirk or Spock. Well. I guess never mind.