Fuzzy Dunlop

He said it was a Cubs pitcher who's been successful for years, and who has great movement.

I'll give you Patterson, Dubois, and Mitre.

Gary Sheffield to the Cubs for prospects including Patterson and/or Dubois?

Fisk Pole?

www.wwujd.com

Shit, I forgot to include favorite cookie and favorite breakfast food. Oh well.

You know, when the schedule first came out, we were all so hyped. Pedro/Zambrano, Schilling/Prior, Wells/Maddux, Clement making his return to Wrigley, Nomar batting against his former team... but seriously, here in Chicago the hype for this could not possibly be any bigger. Even if Sunday'll be Wakefield/Rusch.

Ryan Dempster-- All Star?

I think the Cubs' awful start is officially a thing of the past now. Eight out of nine, and with Big Z going tomorrow.

My boss put surveys in everyone's mailbox asking what we'd change about the store, and with the promise that all of these would remain anonymous "so there'd be no excuse not to do one." So I did one. Basically I wrote we shouldn't stay open so late, since nobody ever comes in after 10, we should stop playing the same CD's over the PA all the time, we shouldn't cave in to customers ALL the time, and we should change the sexist policy where only women can be cashiers. I wrote that last one since we seem to have a secret policy where only women can be cashiers, and they have by far the easiest jobs and make the same money the rest of us do. Now, remember, I said these were anonymous? Well, later, she comes up to me while I'm working and says "did you write this?" I thought about just reminding her these are supposed to be anonymous, but then I realized I might be getting a cashier job now, so I said "yes." Then she said that it was rude and in poor taste, and said she'd talk to me about it later.

She didn't say anything yesterday or today.

Hey, today's my birthday too.

Hey, thanks for all the advice, guys. I'm working again tomorrow so that'll probably be when she yells at me or whatever. I'm not gonna say where I work just on the extremely unlikely occurence that somebody from my work reads this board and she'd just get even more pissed.

Today I started farting while I was wacking off. Does this make me any less of a man?

I'll most likely have part two of this story Saturday night or Sunday afternoon, whenever she decides to talk to me.

I just had this dream last night, and it was the freakiest, most real-feeling dream I've ever had, and I am not maknig any of this shit up. Me and Czech, who I've never talked to off the net, went to this one dime's house. He and her were only friends so I don't know if he liked her or not, but I definitely did. I mean, I was like totally in love with her, but now when i recall this dream in my mind she seems kinda nerdy-looking and has wild hair so WTF, right? Well anyways we go to her house, and she's like a multibillionaire, and she has a huge mansion, an aquarium, and a zoo. Anyways, the zoo is like so huge that I only get to see certain portions of it each time we go there, and every day I feel like I'm getting closer and closer to this girl, right? And Czech seems a little oblivious. By the way, I've never actually seen Czech, but he looked like kind of a nerd in this too, but he's always wearing a Cubs hat, which is cool. He also had those glasses with the really thick rims, or frames, or whathave you. Anyways, for some reason the part of this zoo that I remember most were the monkeys, there were lots and lots of monkeys. And she like had a bunch of bodyguards too at her mansion, right? And soemtimes she would ask me to do favors and run errands for her, right? Cuz I think she knew I was like in lov eiwth her. Anyways, at the end of each day, she'd say something like, "tomorrow, I'll show you this animal," like, "tomorrow I'll show you the monkeys." Well anyways one day after watching the monkeys in their big wire cages, she said "Robert, come alone tomorrow, I'll show you the humans." and i was like, wtf? but i didn't say that because I didn't want her to get away from me, right, i mean i like spending time with her, right? So anyways I sneak around afterwards and see all the exhibits because I'm trying to see if she was being serious, and there's like a bunch of naked men with long hair acting just like the monkeys and they weren't talking or anyting, just monkeying around in their cages. And at first I thought, what if this is like some plot where Czech makes friends on the net, invites them to meet dimes, then add them to her zoo collection. But then I thought, well, the men are all naked and she's a hot girl, so even if I do have to get locked up forever, I'll get to strip in front of her first and she'll like feed me too. So I was running over this in my mind, like should i go back or not, and if i don't go back, maybe she'll lock me up when she hadn't intended to originally? And by the way, never once did I consider in my dream of callin ght ecops or freeing the locked-up men because I was just so in love with her. Well, anyways, I was running through the various solutions in my mind, I woke up.

Well-played.

Sammy's going to miss the whole sold out O's/Sox series this weekend. hahaahahahahahahahhahahahahahhahahhahahahahahhahah! Mod note: Edited down the hahas so they do not stretch the window.

If we free him, he should be sentenced to having to post 1000 words on each of the Yankees' losses and changes so far this season.

Some kid was resting his feet against the back of my chair, so I reached back and swept his legs out, pulling him out of his seat and resulting in his ass crashing to the floor.

The best parts of the book were the internal monologues, and the ten-page chats about nothing. In the movie, the characters were just one-dimensional.

The matchup for tonight is Maddux/Clemens.

I can't believe there's no posts about Manny from last night. A two-run homer and a grand slam.

Guys, watch real carefully when that A-Rod commercial comes on, the one where he's running through the street, and that woman says "Alex, only one home run today?" At the very end, it shows a stadium light tower, and the lights are slowly going off but the last light to stay on, at the very end, right in the middle of the screen, says "E5."

Wow, no wonder you're so fucked up. Why didn't someone call DCFS?