Toxxic

JRR just IM'd me and said he's found time to write after all. So Sly, get a-crackin'. And IL... um, do whatever you see fit.

It would to me.

I totally factored timezones into that statement. Unless Akira lives in Mongolia or something. That would explain a lot.

Zyon - drop our word limit to 4k if you want.

I'm up for the return of Raynor, may I add. As long as it doesn't result in Raynor's mind going 'plooey!' from writing and marking and booking and restoring order to the universe.

OK, so maybe I was a little harsh because I'm pretty pissed off with most of the fed and you're an obvious target. On the other hand, I don't understand how someone can need two weeks to write a 4.5k match and still not get anything in. If you're looking to be a World Title contender, and even more so if you have a guaranteed World Title shot upcoming, I just don't see how you can go 'eh, no, I'm not feeling this one' and not bother with a match simply because there's nothing in it for you. You've been here long enough to know how it works, you know how much this fed relies on input, you know the situation we're at now and how we're struggling. You want to take on the leading role in the fed, but you can't even be bothered to write the equivalent of 325 words a day, in a match that should be a fairly easy win for you. Jakey's good, don't get me wrong, but you should have been able to take him if you were writing at anything near your top form. I was hoping that the prospect of winning the CW Title and then having a shot at the World, which would emulate my own fairly recent achievement and thereby create another layer in the Zyon/Toxxic dynamic would motivate you, and (I think) would have been a good character path to go down. Especially since you could add in the fact that Spike had that huge Cruiserweight run but never got the World, so Zyon could feel all superior on that front as well. Guess you didn't see it like that.

Would it be wrong for me to type a haiku with one hand tied behind my back in order to give Zyon some chance of winning? Normally I'd be inclined to write a match that at least put the #1 contender over strong, but given he's got a World Title shot having done nothing to earn it in the last six months or so, I'm not sure I can be arsed to spend the time on it. At least this way if he bothers to actually write something, it might win. Yes, this is called 'motivation by abuse'.

If anything I'd say the CW should go. What's the point of a Cruiserweight-specific belt when everyone except Drake is a Cruiserweight anyway? The Tag Team belts are essentially worthless at this point, and the International belt is in the position of being a secondary World Title, cut off to the 'lower card' due to the fact it's always in possession of people who, for whatever reason, aren't quite in the World Title picture. I know WC will hate me for suggesting we ditch the CW, but that's the way it is - it's pointless to have a weight-specific title when everyone is in that weight bracket. Lose it.

I hope Clark takes the piss out of himself for not showing on Sunday. You know, makes a few comments about how he doesn't deserve to be International Champion if he doesn't show matches, that sort of thing. I'm aware Mak has had some internet problems of late, and I don't know how well they've been resolved, so I'm not sure about his side of things. As for the n00bs, it appears Tad Michaels is dead in the water. At least JRR let us know he didn't have time.

Touche.

It's an approach that's served me well - if in doubt, foist it off on Raynor

I sooooo care about your problems. Hey look, he performs on command!

What, you think I didn't try that? Router to laptop = nothing. Modem to laptop = nothing. Come on, I'm incompetent but I'm not that incompetent.

Here he is! My computer confuses me. I phoned technical support, ran everything they told me to do, they end up telling me to disable firewalls which I haven't got and not to call them back until I do. I turn it off, I turn it on again, I turn the modem and router off, I turn them on again... nothing. Today, I turn my computer on, fiddle with a couple of settings just to see what happens, and presto! Internet. I'm going to change this into a blanket statement of 'Toxx is technologically incompetent anyway, and appears to have a cranky computer/wireless network/life. If i disappear off the face of the Earth at any point in the future, that's probably why'. We now return you to your scheduled dose of sarcasm from Muzz.

Raynor, you do know that the hilarious styles clash of Clark and Drake happened about six weeks ago, right? Then again, given the small roster I suppose rematches are only natural.

Is that Kibagami or Ketamine? Or indeed, both.

I hope you all realise that Jakey's going to be World Champion before we know it. Nice promo from Landon though, good stuff there. Landon's back in relaxed and cocky mode, which suits him best.

Put 'em in the Barracuda Crab, Johnny!

MANSON only declared himself Emperor of China, he never won the title in a match. Not that I'm arguing with MANSON, you understand.

I wouldn't really want to do Toxxic/Drake II without a bit more build, to be honest.

Consider our match cancelled then. One no-show win I won't take...

Closing promo plz. I second the Raynor love, not that Tom books badly of course.

You were in my promo and you gave feedback, suggested alterations and approved it, so I had you counted as promoing, at least by proxy. Soccer ftw!

I'm shocked and appalled that only three people promo'd - namely me, Danny and Jakey. Come on guys, what happened? No Clark? No Johnny? No Drake?

OK, I'm going to look at Jakey's match in a little more detail, as it's the new people who probably need comments and... Rad Hazard and Rex are gone, so I can't be arsed to comment their match. First off, I LOVE the jacket. Not that I'd want to wear it, but I think this could be an ongoing theme of bizarre sartorial choices, and King's comment of "I do want to know how much he paid for it" is great. I'm not sure (at this stage of reading) what's going on with Jakey's jacket and why he's whispering to the ref - however, the ref's whisper to JJ and JJ's reaction makes me want to know where this goes. I must admit I'm not sure about the phrasing of "JJ has a “WTF?” kind of reaction", it seems a little too... conversational to me, I guess. But that's a minor style note that is more about my preference than a problem with the match. JJ gets control, Jakey is tenacious and hard to shake off, so the typically no-nonsence Johnson stamps on his foot. Simple, effective, dick-heelish, I like. What I REALLY like is Jakey playing off his last match and trying to sucker Johnson out to the floor like he did against Clarke, only for Johnson to be smarter and then sucker Jakey back in by threatening the precious koala jacket. Johnson takes over and uses his greater strength and just the fact that he's one hard-ass bastard (in kayfabe) to beat Jakey up... then rips up the jacket to further cement himself as dick heel. ...and Jakey snaps as his jacket is destroyed. It's bizarre, but it works. But, Jakey quickly moves to chokes because he can't match strength or wrestling ability against Johnson, so it makes sense. And I must admit the reference to a Randy Orton match made me laugh And I love the beard pull, I don't know if anyone's ever written it, but that's hilarious. I'm honestly not sure about King liking it though, despite JJ's stats saying he's a tweener he's basically a heel and one King likes (which is why he calls him Mr. Cold Front Classic), but that's a small point. And partially because JJ hasn't updated his stats in ages. One problem I have with the pinning sequence - JJ grabbing the ropes. I was always under the impression that Johnson didn't actually cheat as such; he's a dick, but he's not a cheater. But to weigh against this Jakey is a new writer, and it's not like JJ's been writing his character so that people can look back and see how he wants him portrayed. I do believe Jakey ends up going through the Samoa Joe submission sequence (which is a rather clashing mental image!), but JJ's able to get through it due to Jakey not having enough weight to slow him down and immobilise him. Jakey's able to reverse a sidewalk slam into the Christo, which follows on nicely from the previous neck-based offence. I don't necessarily like the bracketed descriptions of (this is the Christo), I think you could have Mak Francis shout "Christo!" or something which would do the job as well. JJ uses his smarts to throw Jakey to the outside, but Jakey's smart enough himself to trip JJ when he's not looking and gets the advantage again... only for JJ to crotch him in the middle of Jakey's other finishing move. Which isn't REALLY cheating I do think Jakey needs a name for that DDT thing though. Working off a little earlier in the match JJ gets some revenge with Cowboy kicks, then goes for a powerbomb that's reversed into a rana, and now it's Jakey getting a little revenge by grabbing the rope... but JJ counters into his own pin, and wins! And just to close the match out, Jakey responds to JJ's mocking invitation of a handshake with a kick to the balls. Nice. Overall, there's very little to say about this match. I think there was an occasion where Jakey beats JJ to the punch by bitchslapping him before JJ can strike, and JJ has basically been put over as the fed's God of striking (bar Danny Williams) so I'm not sure about that... oh, and you keep spelling 'Mak' wrong But in the main it's a good match, both men basically get involved in who can be more of an asshole, and honours are well-divided between the two with some nice spots, some playing off Jakey's debut and a couple of little nods to earlier events in this match which, given it was a fairly short match, is no mean feat. It's not a deeply-psychological masterpiece, but it doesn't need to be. It tells the story well, it develops Jakey as a character a little (is his bizarre dress sense also a potential weakness?), you put your opponent over by writing him to win, which is rare! And it just 'clicks' well. The only thing I can really find fault with is maybe it doesn't read quite as fluidly as some people's writing, minor (very minor) points of grammar or whatnot, but overall... very good. I foresee good things here. Keep it up!