The Mandarin

Alright then, here's my re-designed card. World Title- No DQ: The Rock vs. Steve Austin (WM 17) IC Title Match- Ladder: Chris Benoit vs. Chris Jericho (RR 2001) Tag Titles Match: Edge and Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit (RR 2003) Hell in the Cell- Mankind vs. The Undertaker (KOTR '98) No DQ- Shawn Michaels vs. Triple H (Summerslam 2002)

Are there any actual, full spoilers?

My mistake. Okay- The Rock vs. Steve Austin (WM 17) Edge and Rey Mysterio vs. Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit (No Mercy 2002) HHH vs. Mick Foley (RR 2000) Shawn Michaels vs. Bret Hart (SS 1997) Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar (No Mercy 2002) No Mercy 2002 was great.

Eh, okay. The Rock vs. Steve Austin (WM 17) Chris Benoit vs. Kurt Angle (RR 2003) HHH vs. Mick Foley (RR 2000) HHH vs. The Rock (Summerslam 1998) Steve Austin vs. Dude Love (Over the Edge '98)

RAW's been way better than SmackDown for the past month and a half. I don't know why they'd just butcher SmackDown like that. It's still entertaining, but it's not as good as it was around the time of the Iron Man match.

SUUUNNNDDAAAAAYYYY

No, there was nothing, maybe out of respect to Crash's widow. Or something. Here comes the BEST SELLER IN THE HISTORY OF THE BUSINESS~!

Alright, which one of you sons of bitches added a chapter about Lita to the book?

It's keeping his left "peak" from leaking.

Mark Henry is like one of those Maximum Sweat wrestling figures. No playability, massive in size, and every time he does a move, he emits a splash of bodily fluids.

I swear, next time I get that someone gets it in the pills. Those bytes should be using energy drinks to keep up.

To continue with the Godfather trend, Kane wouldn't even need the orange peel over his mouth to scare Shane's son.

Did they even eat dinner in the eight minutes they were there?

Kane should start crying, it would really add to the storyline.

So everyone just eats normally while a giant freak talks to his girlfriend?

...I think he means in the WWE. I know, I was just joking. Wasn't Pedro Morales a Triple Crown Winner, though? Once again, joking. You could get disqualified in the ol' WCW for throwing a man over the top rope.

Never mind.

DQ, he threw him over the top.

Yes Jerry, because we all know Shawn is the first ever Triple Crown winner, not Jumbo Tsuruta.

Evolution is your Vagi-clean..

No, idiot, Yokozuna is, followed up by Psycho Sid.

Unscripted commercial! I was right, it is an official WWE book.

Too bad Molly wasn't wearing that skirt. Edit: Molly looks like she's been visiting Stephanie McMahon's "doctor"..

It's better than going to the arcade. Shane: You idiot! Our team lost all because of you! Kane: *crying* I told you..*sob*..I'm not good with stick shifts!