The Ill One

"Footstomp, footstomp! Don't forget the footstomp." I've only seen the first two all the way through since it hasn't really gotten my interest yet, hopefully it'll pick up when the lesser fighters get eliminated. I have to say, though, that Hughes waking him up to say it's okay not to read the bible but, hey, it's a good story easily takes place in the top five best moments.

I'm in.

Shamelessly off-topic question: What are your plans for Genesis? SINGLES MATCH Toxxic vs. "Big Bully" Bruner SINGLES MATCH Leon Sharpe vs. Insane Luchador SINGLES MATCH Luke-o vs. MANSON SINGLES MATCH Ghost Machine vs. Jesse James Sanders

Question: I don't have plans, which is why I shamelessly asked. SINGLES MATCH Toxxic vs. "Big Bully" Bruner ~Well, I'll go with Toxxic but it could easily go either way. SINGLES MATCH Leon Sharpe vs. Insane Luchador ~Vote Sharpe! SINGLES MATCH Luke-o vs. MANSON ~MANSON. SINGLES MATCH Ghost Machine vs. Jesse James Sanders ~Sanders.

Hell, MANSON, if you're up for it then how's IL vs MANSON sound? Dare I say, hardcore (that's your call)?

Samesies. Superbad will probably hold up better over time, but Hot Rod had more frequent and louder laughs from me because I wasn't expecting ANYTHING of what I saw. Plus, I have heard Superbad incessantly quoted over the last few weeks. It was still great though. Hot Rod was so, so much funnier than it had any right to be, for me anyway. I basically went to kill time and just couldn't stop laughing, chances are I'll see it again before I see Superbad again.

The tags probably weren't needed but anyway, I thought the preview for the finale actually sucked.

I've never been a huge Halloween fan so it's hard to empathize with those who say how he slaughtered it, but that's pretty close to it. I'm not even anal about the loyalty or lack-there-of from the original but it really wasn't that entertaining. Some of the camerawork got to me, despite usually never caring, and bulk of the actors weren't too great. The idea of telling about his childhood had potential but the execution- not so much... but it wasn't like I was expecting some amazingly deep, psychological either. Matter of fact, I wasn't expecting much at all. I wasn't going to riot or demand my money back, not literally, but it was pretty much what I figured it would be- a somewhat shitty remake. But there was one part that made me laugh my ass off- It's a rental if anything and, apparently, the hardcore original fans should stray away from it.

Well, despite the fact I've been flaking (which I'm sorry for but, hey, I'll blame it on starting pseudo-college -community college-) but I'll be up for a match if somebody's unbooked and willing.

I'm up for it, thanks.

I can take WC's place if Landon's alright with that.

I'll get something in.

THE MAIN EVENT - SWF CHAMPIONSHIP UNIFICATION MATCH Alan Clark © vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke © SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Wild and Dangerous © vs. Revolution Zero (Toxxic and Austin Sly) SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. MANSON SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH The Fabulous Jakey © vs. Jimmy the Doom CAGE MATCH Fulminatus © vs. An Octopus SINGLES MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. Michael Alexander SINGLES MATCH CIA vs. Jesse James Sanders HALF HOUR IRON-MAN TABLES MATCH Chris Raynor vs. Danny Dagda

Yeah, that god damn Crowe.

Really? Damn, well, yeah... I guess that could be it.

Yeah, sorry 'bout that- it's something I always do without even realizing it. I couldn't tell you why that I add the "e" and I couldn't tell you why I added the "e" to Rickmen either, probably because nobody pointed it out 'til it was too late and I was stubborn about it. Or, alternatively, IL's just that damn ca-razy~!

THE MAIN EVENT - SWF CHAMPIONSHIP UNIFICATION MATCH Alan Clark © vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke © ~I have to say Clark(e) at the moment, he's been churnin' out gold. Gold I tell ya', gold. SWF TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Wild and Dangerous © vs. Revolution Zero (Toxxic and Austin Sly) ~Well, it's hard to go against W&D but ToxxSly are always dangerous. SWF HARDCORE CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix © vs. MANSON ~Honestly, I can see MANSON taking this one but I'm not sure- this could be the MOTN. SWF CRUISERWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH The Fabulous Jakey © vs. Jimmy the Doom ~Hmmm, I could see this going either way. CAGE MATCH Fulminatus © vs. An Octopus ~I have a hunch on Fulminatus, although my gut says An Octopus. SINGLES MATCH "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins vs. Michael Alexander ~I'll have to go with Jenkins but that's not to count Alexander out. SINGLES MATCH CIA vs. Jesse James Sanders ~I'm not sure, but it's nice to see 'em back. HALF HOUR IRON-MAN TABLES MATCH Chris Raynor vs. Danny Dagda ~The Raynman, although I must say that I've always wanted the stipulation so kudos to Raynor for runnin' with the idea. Good luck to all.

Hey Raynor, do you want to do some sort of stip? If so, shoot me a PM.

Stats are finally up, sorry if that messed you up, Saintly. Good luck to all.

I had intended to bring Dagda back right after Luchador but I kept puttin' it off, but you could always count it as the millionth hiatus. (Yeah, do the time warp and pretend it happened a few days ago, too.) -- Flesher uncomfortably sits on the subway that had eased to a halt and now the riders cram into the elusive spaces left. He was simply zoning out, not exactly loving this mode of transportation versus most others, and kept a paper near his face in hopes to avoid any conversation. He can feel the person plop down into the seat next to him and he simply neglects the person until he can feel the stare, he suddenly knows where this is going. “Oh. My. God.” Tom Flesher’s head briefly whips up from the paper and he recognized those words, he hadn’t heard them as frequently recently but still, it leads to the inevitable- “Tom? Tom Flesher?” They ask before blurting out, “Everybody, everybody look! It’s Thomas Flesher of SWF fame and he’s in Newark on the Subway, what a middleclass guy! He’s, like, he’s like, the Bruce Springsteen of the wrestling world to me!” Flesher finally lifts his eyes from the paper before giving up the charade of neglect by replying, “Dagda, shut the hell up.” “Newark, Tom? Wow… maybe New Jersey isn’t a complete dump!” Flesher narrows his eyes and shoots back, “Danny, you told me to meet you here before I caught my flight over at EWR.” Dagda simply smiles and says, “That’s really meaningful to me, Tom, sincerely… and utterly, utterly sincerely.” Tom Flesher, despite knowing he shouldn’t, takes the bait. “And why’s that, Dagda?” Danny laughs, facetiously slapping his knee for emphasis. “Come on Tommy, come on. I was an absolute jobber during my short run, honestly, and here you are- desperate enough for the SWF’s sake by coming back to me? I mean, shit, I’m not blaming you for having faith, I was the classic case of wasted potential.” “You lost to Candace,” he simply levels with an inattentive Dagda who reaches into his pockets, exaggerating on not finding what he needs. He grumbles as he pulls out a Bic lighter but acts baffled to where, presumably, his smokes were supposed to be. Flesher begrudgingly reaches into his pack of Camels and brings the pack close to Dagda. “Thanks.” He glances at the cigarette and remarks, “Oh, a Camel… how exotic. Well, I mean, a smoke beats no smoke so thanks man.” Flesher turns his head to watch Dagda reach into a different pocket, pulling out his own pack of Kamel Reds, and shakes it to dislodge a cigarette before fishing it out with his mouth. He glances up at Flesher with a shameless smirk before he put Flesher’s Camel into his pack. “So, Danny, you led me to believe there’s a purpose to this.” “Can’t just spend a little time with Daddy Dagda?” He asks while sniffling and trying hard, too hard, to squeeze out a single tear. “Danny, look. The SWF is in a rough period and apparently even you can pick that up, alright? I’m supposed to be heading to Germany in a few hours while being exhausted and stuck in New Jersey, got it?” “Germany? No shit?” He sincerely comments while lighting up his cigarette, blowing smoke into Flesher’s face. “At least there’s beer…” “Most likely, I’ll be in a stupor,” he flatly replies before finishing, “So I don’t want or need to be dealing with your shit.” Dagda grunts and finally relents by saying, “Your Hardcore Division sucks, man, I mean it sucks in ways that Annie simply can’t fathom.” “Annie’s the lesbian.” “Oh, okay, so the other one… but it blows hard, I mean really hard…” “I get it, Dagda,” Flesher bluntly interrupts. “But you’d agree with me, right?” Dagda hardly pauses before continuing, “Right. So now I’ve heard a rumor about Insane Luchador being out? Normally that doesn’t mean a damn thing, in a lot of ways it still doesn’t, but that leaves a staple spot in the hardcore division, yes?” “He could be back in a matter of weeks,” Flesher says. “So? What has he done for you recently, or ever? Honestly.” Dagda replies. “Exactly what I thought. So consider your options- this nutty, white-yet-lucha-luch-a-dor, no... luchadorian returns and vegetates in that division, possibly squares off with Jimmy the Doom for, hell, the millionth time.” Flesher slowly nods and reflects on an old friendship with Andrew Rickmen but Tom Flesher is simply a business man. “Okay, so what’s your solution?” Dagda snorts before saying, “Let me in, put some fresh blood into it, come on, I never got a damn chance my first time through. Here’s mine, no, our window of opportunity- take a small risk, let me return, and then be amazed at Daddy Dagda’s work.” “What if Daddy Dagda,” Flesher begins before pausing to reflect on how awkward that sounded. “What if you don’t get the job done, huh?” Danny Dagda shoots a look of absolute –feigned- shock. “Ye’ of little faith, Daddy Dagda always gets the job done! But. If I get crippled or something then just get that crazy lil’ Luch out of the Institution for a return to complete the stale cycle.” Flesher sighs and glances at his watch. “I need to get going.” He pauses and watches Dagda stand up as well, staring him straight in the eyes in anticipation “Come on, you know it’s worth a shot… it’s a small risk, Tom, it’s a small risk that could pay out big. Dagda draws, man, Dagda draws.” Flesher keeps a poker face and slowly turns around, standing up and slowly shuffling towards the doors prematurely as it begins to grind to a halt. “I don’t have the time, Dagda, I have to get to Germany… and…” he pauses before reluctantly finishing, “You probably should get going too.” The doors slide open and he leaves without any acknowledge as Danny Dagda can’t help but to simply laugh. “Holy shit, that was too easy,” he muses as he carelessly flicks his cigarette into a throng of people before shoving his way out.

Flesher answers the phone- He listens. He says, "Wait, what?" Listens again. Smoke, smoke, smoke. "He was allergic to bees?" Shot, shot, shot. "Okay... well, is he going to sue?" Listens. "No? Alright, well, is he dead?" Pause. "No, I guess that's never an issue with him anyway. So will he come back?" Listens. "Oh... well, how 'bout that."

I remember Comet, couldn't tell you where he was from, and I wouldn't call foul (yet)- hell, I liked this way for an introduction but El Loco Hombre caught my attention. He made a great ELM-Lite, hell he even had a tie once, I think.

Alright, comments for all in hopes to do something productive for the federation 'sides being a warm body. For starters, I'm assuming WC is referring to dropping the title to me (I'm pretty sure it was then) and for that- yeah, yeah I know it was a huge dick move, man. I'm not sure if I have officially apologized but sorry about that. But movin' on with some comments- New Blood Title Announcement- Short and sweet, plus I love the concept since we have enough people to hold a mini-tournament since being instantly thrown into the fray might intimidate them. Actually, all things considered, it's pretty damn encouraging. Opening Promo- Eat yo' heart out, MacPhisto. Toxxic has the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand, nicely explaining the varying circumstances since others may not buy the power of the home-land pop. I have to say that there's one hell of a tirade (read: verbal raping) at Clark filled with some pretty valid points but, hey, Disney's branching out! It's nice how Toxxic calls Clark out for holding his grudge at Maddix while he slips in his own cheap jab o' bitterness at Landon at the same time before telling him to blame who is really responsible- Clark, himself, right? Wait, no, it's Toxxic and he follows it up with some damn sound logic, in that twisted, egocentric way. Finally he moves on from Clark and begins to hype Revolution Zero's newest member but everybody has to wait a little bit longer to find out who it is... King wishes for Pretzler and I must say- if it was him, I would've marked the fuck out. Michael Alexander versus Todd DeKindes- Like Toxxic had said earlier, he has a pretty good grasp on the announcers' already, which supplies to the ringer argument but I don't care either way- it already seems promising. The opening action sequence is sound, written well and logical, and I have to say that I adore the way you intregrated your moves' name ("He calls that the 'Whiplash' I think.") A nice focus on that right leg with a wide array of moves, simple yet effective, a nice bitch slap to remind everybody what he's about but that leads to motivation for a Todd comeback- believable since he doesn't Hulk-Up but simply gets some offense in. Now I already read the topic with Toxxic's point about the Dragon Suplex so I won't get into that, just a simple mistake that trips up the reader for a bit. TDK dodging it by "either stumbling or design" was the perfect way to describe it, though he began to get up from the Dragon Suplex awfully quick. On the flipside, though, the Dragon Suplex isn't the end-all, be-all and it's not like Todd has been beaten on -too- much besides the right leg so it's an after thought. (This is coming from a guy who writes hardcore matches, where someone will bounce up after a plastering chairshot so disregard it). Also have to say that somebody has a nice enough vocabulary to avoid using "says" an ungodly amount of times, which is a good thing. The submission is well described step-by-step and doesn't leave anybody wondering what the hell just happened, which is nice. Todd must have whatever deity of luck on his side because he's barely able to escape the submission and it's pointed out that a lot of it may be luck opposed to ring instinct. King's condescending remarks are spot-on, by the way, and I liked the DVX tease. I don't exactly see why they'd pop for Alexander tugging on Todd's injured leg, to be honest but it leads to the Gordian Knots and that's all that matters, there's the tap out! That is one hell of a match and ringer or not- Alexander will be going places quickly. Smark Enough II Trailer- Meh. Ced/HDK versus Toxxic/Cross- These fans just can't get enough Toxxic, can they. So who is the force to be added to Revolution Zero? Michael Cross. How about that... alright, so it's a -bit- disappointing but, hell, welcome back Cross. Clarke and Cross face off to begin the match and something is pretty obvious- Michael Cross is back to "wreck yo' shit" but it isn't too long before he tags in Toxx. He comes out and begins to whail on Clarke, who is not having a good day, but quickly tags back in Cross. He begins to unload some nasty knee strikes from the Muay Thai clinch, cute lil' joke about "an Extreme Solution" pun (or a failed one), and after a missed aerial assault the Bemani Cross Wizard makes his way into the match. He presents a minor problem to Cross, working on that leg just like the old days, but catching the 'rana into a powerbomb solves it. One quick thing- it wasn't exactly a hot tag or the most dramatic tag so the "smack" sound effect seemed a bit excessive but anyway, Toxxic is back in and hits his triple moonsault but Ced still has some fight left in him... which is something Toxxic hopes to beat out of him, though the Discus Clothesline is ducked- when was the last time Toxxic hit that, anyway? Caffeine Bomb attempted turned into an ill-fated Fireman's Carry and Cross, after dumping Clarke out of the ring, assists him to hit the Sunny In England in a nice spot to close up the match. A good pseudo-squash match that put Cross over and quenched the English thrist for more Straight Edge Sensation. I'm going to be optimistic about Revolution Zero but I have to agree with the ambivalence about what direction they're heading in. In all honesty, they may as well be about taking over the federation since a heel Midnight Carnival doesn't feel -quite- right but I know they want to avoid the "unfuckwithable" (Kibs returned, it's fair game) approach. Spike Jenkins Interview- He begins with telling Hardy his intent of becoming World Champion, something that he made quite clear on the previous Storm. He has time to put himself over, including some new nifty martial arts added to his skillset, but the Four Norsemen come in. I actually loved the fact that Spike didn't beat them all down but just remained speechless because I thought at first that some Norsemen would've taken a BJJ takedown to snap a neck. More Spike Jenkins, this time with Flesher- Cute lil' exchange between the two until Flesher gets down to business, pointing out that Jenkins won't just be handed a title shot while belittling him. Alright, so here's something that caught my attention- Flesher's a well-spoken guy, you know? "Why are you looking at me like that, fag?" is something that would be heard when kids throw down, not from the Superior One. Just a thought. Anyway, Spike says he doesn't need to be given a title shot, he'll just take one to a puzzled Flesher. Jenkins versus Fleihr- Spike's 195 but total muscle? God damn, makes the reader wonder if he wasn't just praising himself about what he did during his hiatus but, hey, we're about to find out... or not quite yet since Clark comes out to fuck with Spike's head. Except that might only provide as fuel for Jenkins but we'll see. Fleihr pulls off the cute routine but only gets nailed by Jenkins with a few closed fists that even Hardcastle has to point out. Jenkins hits one hell of a dropkick, and I mean one hell of a dropkick, and the obvious becomes even more obvious- Fleihr is fucked. He continues to unload on him, while sending a message to Clark, and a nasty, nasty double stomp spot. Yeah, Spike's out to hurt but Mak could vouch for that version of Spike anyway, maybe not quite to this level, though. He then begins to kick the shit out of Fleihr to the point of brutality that Hardcastle has to call the match. God damn. The match was pretty good but a couple times I think Spike's power may have been amped a bit (mostly the dropkick) but, at the same time, that's the point. Jenkins is back and he's certainly ready to tear into the World Champ. The House of Marvelous- Johnny Dangerous is the guest of honor and Marvelous pushes his button with Flesher's quotes in hopes to get a reaction from him, and he does. Dangerous reminds Flesher that he beat him in a match that Flesher came out of his retirement for, just a nice cheap jab. But that is all topped when Marvelous announces that it will Dangerous versus Bruner for the final International Title match and the winner will face the World Champion at Ground Zero. Predictably Marvelous and Bruner are up to no good as he knocks Dangerous out with an ambush via powerbomb, causing everybody to wonder if Bruner will step up to the plate. Nice lil' segment. The Return of... Wait, what?- Flesher's meeting with somebody and explains that whoever this man is that he's simply a tool, bring in the ratings, redeem the SWF and whatnot, and people have to wonder who may have that sort of drawing power... and that person turns out to be Nathan Kibagami, which could provide for some interesting weeks ahead. Kibs' promising defeat over MANSON may have taken away some of the shock factor and makes me wonder if it was more of a spontaneous thing but, hey, he's back. Hawke versus Raynor- Nada for the moment. G'damn, that takes a lot longer than I remember it taking but that was a good show, guys.

Damn, that is a pretty big card and a nice one, too. Good luck to all and the New Blood Title Tournament should be pretty damn interesting.

You just have to love the dramatic pseudo-slow motion moments during that ping-pong game. Man, BJ blows at ping-pong or maybe Jens has found something to fall back on (just in case). By the way, how do you guys see Penn versus Pulver going?