Xavier Cromartie

Here's what I consume every day: 60g organic strawberries 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 20g organic raisins 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 120g organic banana + 1 tbsp coconut oil 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 2 oz. sashimi (salmon, mackerel, and/or yellowtail) + .5 oz. sundried organic tomato + 1 tbsp olive oil (delicious!) 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 20g organic raisins 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 120g organic banana + 1 tbsp coconut oil 8 oz. orange juice + 1 tbsp olive oil + 4g sugar 120g organic banana + 1 tbsp coconut oil 8 oz. orange juice

It's like the Miss TSM Tournament, but I make all the rules and do all the voting! RULES: 1. Girls only. The hottest girls. For the purposes of this tournament, only their looks matter. 2. Age limit of 17+ (Disqualified: Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Selena Gomez.) 3. The girls shall be famous. 'Fame' is defined as having 5+ pictures turn up on Google Images. (Disqualified: Leena, local girls.) 4. Voting shall be based on current physical form (Disqualified: Dead porn stars.) 5. Voting between two girls shall be determined by which one I would rather creampie (while considering all possible real-life consequences). 6. Seeding is simply the order in which I added the girls to the tournament. Upsets can and will happen. ("And the seventh thing, I like the most that you dooooo...") 7. Brackets shall be broken into four geographic regions: North (Europe), South (Latin America), West (North America), and East (Asia). Each bracket shall contain 16 girls who fit in that region. ROUND 1 (64) NORTH (Europe) 1. Scarlett Johansson (Denmark) 16. Monica Bellucci (Italy) 8. Angelina Jolie (Slovakia) 9. Veronica Zemanova (Czech Republic) 5. Lucy Pinder (England) 12. Olga Kurylenko (Ukraine) 4. Audrey Bitoni (Italy) 13. Layla El (England) - Difficult decision. 3. Eliza Dushku (Albania) 14. Mila Kunis (Ukraine) 6. Petra Nemcova (Czech Republic) - Czech girls are babes. 11. Ashley Robbins (Czech Republic) 7. Lacey Chabert (France) 10. Alyson Michalka (Ukraine) 2. Kim Kardashian (Armenia) 15. Alyssa Milano (Italy) SOUTH (Latin America) 1. Mariah Carey (Venezuela) 16. Somaya Reece (Puerto Rico) - Super upset alert! Mariah looks great, but Somaya is insane. 8. Roselyn Sanchez (Puerto Rico) 9. Christina Milian (Cuba) 5. Eva Avila (Peru) 12. Jessica Alba (Mexico) 4. Paulina Rubio (Mexico) - Hottest 37-year-old ever. 13. Sienna West (Mexico(?)) 3. Alessandra Ambrosio (Brazil) 14. Jenaveve Jolie (Mexico) 6. Shakira (Colombia) - More of a good girlfriend. 11. Alexis Amore (Peru) 7. Eva Longoria (Mexico) 10. Nina Mercedez (Mexico) - Here's a possible George Mason. 2. Adriana Lima (Brazil) 15. Paula DeAnda (Mexico) - Would have beaten quite a few other people. WEST (North America) 1. Ashley Tisdale (USA) 16. Morgan Webb (Canada) 8. Katherine McPhee (USA) 9. Paris Hilton (USA) 5. Elisha Cuthbert (Canada) 12. Pandora Dreams (Native American) - Tough draw. 4. Kelly Kelly (USA) 13. Lindy Slinger (USA) - She's a Tisdale clone! 3. Tiffani Amber Thiessen (USA) - Back in the day, she'd have final four potential. 14. Hilary Duff (USA) 6. Kristy Lee Cook (USA) 11. Julie Dubela (USA) - Love the attitude. 7. Lanny Barbie (Canada) - It's amazing that she does porn. 10. Brenna Gethers (USA) 2. Shyla Stylez (Canada) 15. JoJo (Native American) EAST (Asia) 1. Vanessa Hudgens (Philippines) 16. Satomi Yoshida (Japan) 8. Moon Bloodgood (South Korea) - She gives those sexy looks. 9. Kaylani Lei (Singapore) 5. Koda Kumi (Japan) - Wins the coincidental Cutie Honey battle. 12. Eriko Sato (Japan) 4. Brenda Song (Laos) - Not an instant decision. 13. Leah Dizon (China) 3. Miranda Kerr (Australia) 14. Sayaka Ando (Japan) 6. Miwa Oshiro (Japan) 11. Natsuki Iijima (Japan) - Minor upset. 7. Aishwarya Rai (India) 10. Tera Patrick (Thailand) - Damn, India vs. Thailand. Both rock. 2. Reon Kadena (Japan) 15. Chisato Morishita (Japan) ROUND 2 (32) NORTH (Europe) 1. Scarlett Johansson (Denmark) 9. Veronica Zemanova (Czech Republic) - Hail to the Czechs. 5. Lucy Pinder (England) - Tits only get you so far. 13. Layla El (England) 3. Eliza Dushku (Albania) - Too girlfriendy. 6. Petra Nemcova (Czech Republic) 10. Alyson Michalka (Ukraine) 2. Kim Kardashian (Armenia) - You know you're hot when you beat a Disney girl. SOUTH (Latin America) 16. Somaya Reece (Puerto Rico) - So hot. 8. Roselyn Sanchez (Puerto Rico) 5. Eva Avila (Peru) 4. Paulina Rubio (Mexico) 3. Alessandra Ambrosio (Brazil) 11. Alexis Amore (Peru) 10. Nina Mercedez (Mexico) 2. Adriana Lima (Brazil) - This matchup happened too early. I want inside them both. WEST (North America) 1. Ashley Tisdale (USA) 8. Katherine McPhee (USA) 5. Elisha Cuthbert (Canada) - You know you're hot when you beat a Tisdale clone. 13. Lindy Slinger (USA) 3. Tiffani Amber Thiessen (USA) 6. Kristy Lee Cook (USA) 7. Lanny Barbie (Canada) - I'd rather creampie Lanny. 2. Shyla Stylez (Canada) - But I'd rather fuck Shyla because of her sexual ability. EAST (Asia) 1. Vanessa Hudgens (Philippines) 8. Moon Bloodgood (South Korea) 5. Koda Kumi (Japan) 4. Brenda Song (Laos) 3. Miranda Kerr (Australia) 11. Natsuki Iijima (Japan) 10. Tera Patrick (Thailand) 2. Reon Kadena (Japan) - Chalk. ROUND 3 (Sweet 16) NORTH (Europe) 9. Veronica Zemanova (Czech Republic) 13. Layla El (England) 6. Petra Nemcova (Czech Republic) 2. Kim Kardashian (Armenia) - Too gorgeous to allow the all-Czech battle. SOUTH (Latin America) 16. Somaya Reece (Puerto Rico) 4. Paulina Rubio (Mexico) - Fuck, what a matchup. 3. Alessandra Ambrosio (Brazil) 2. Adriana Lima (Brazil) - Look at her eyes, holy shit. WEST (North America) 1. Ashley Tisdale (USA) 5. Elisha Cuthbert (Canada) - I considered having her actually beat Tisdale, but no. 3. Tiffani Amber Thiessen (USA) 7. Lanny Barbie (Canada) - I'm surprised she's still going. Cuthbert crushes her. EAST (Asia) 1. Vanessa Hudgens (Philippines) 4. Brenda Song (Laos) - Would have won a few years ago. 3. Miranda Kerr (Australia) 2. Reon Kadena (Japan) - No one has really challenged her. ROUND 4 (Elite 8) NORTH (Europe) 9. Veronica Zemanova (Czech Republic) 2. Kim Kardashian (Armenia) - Practically a toss-up. SOUTH (Latin America) 4. Paulina Rubio (Mexico) - A sexiness that transcends time. 2. Adriana Lima (Brazil) WEST (North America) 1. Ashley Tisdale (USA) - No contest. 7. Lanny Barbie (Canada) EAST (Asia) 1. Vanessa Hudgens (Philippines) - It's almost not fair to put her in Asia. 2. Reon Kadena (Japan) ROUND 5 (Final 4) NORTH (Europe) vs. SOUTH (Latin America) 2. Kim Kardashian (Armenia) 4. Paulina Rubio (Mexico) - She's less curvy but still definitely sexier. WEST (North America) vs. EAST (Asia) 1. Ashley Tisdale (USA) - Hudgens was better in High School Musical 1 but not anymore. 1. Vanessa Hudgens (Philippines) ROUND 6 (Championship) WORLD CUP 4. Paulina Rubio (Mexico) 1. Ashley Tisdale (USA) - She's simply invincible right now.

They weren't denied by orders from Barack Obama's campaign team nor by Barack Obama. They were denied by two dumbass volunteers who made mistakes. The Obama campaign doesn't have any sort of anti-scarf or anti-Muslim-picture policy.

The issue is Tim Tebow's performing circumcisions in the Philippines. Rate of HIV infection in the Philippines: .01% (9,400 of 84 million).[1] Rate of HIV infection in North America: .39% (1.3 million of 335 million).[2] RepoMan and Kawalimus, who you crappin'?

My most-trusted adviser informs me that this topic would fail in the Sports folder. Ergo, it will be relegated to the blog. Xavier Cromartie, volleyball player Positives A fantastic defender... Outstanding reflexes... Gives 100% effort... Tremendously competitive... Smart player... Understands defensive positioning and angles... Good footwork... Anticipates where the ball will go... Sacrifices his body for saves... Has excellent stamina... Very fast and agile... Can get to almost any ball... Makes saves in unorthodox situations and positions... Fearless against incoming attacks... Reliable passer... Dangerous server... Plays well under pressure... Has won at the small-college level... Distributes the ball well... Good back-setter... Almost never gives up the opponent's winning point... No injury history... Studies and is willing to make changes... Recognizes when his teammates need him to take control of the game... Experienced... Has fairly good timing... Won't quit... Knows obscure rules and takes advantage of them... Confident... Has a biological advantage because of his nutritional knowledge... Lots of upside. Negatives Needs to improve vertical jump... Upper body is still a work-in-progress... Effective but inconsistent blocker... Tends to make unnecessarily risky serves... Gets frustrated by mistakes... Needs to control spikes better... Favors the amazing play to the safe play too often... Not familiar with all formations... Sets have room for improvement... Does not always communicate... Has some trouble with pancake saves... May be distracted by female players' uniforms. Notes A prototypical libero... A southpaw.

What's this "mutual decision," "Public Account 3"?

Happy birthday, Weird Horror Movie Freak Guy.

CHICAGO OBAMAS SNIPE PARK RIDGE CLINTONS

I win! Yay! Ortonsault versus The Czech Republic in an epic fight to the death for Yahoo!-pool supremacy!

Kansas vs. Memphis. Ortonsault vs. The Czech Republic. OMG.

Quality list. Brady Quinn is incredibly handsome. Soccer: Lindy Slinger. Golf: Michelle Wie. Indoor volleyball: Just about everyone.

Hey, Joe Morgan, how would you compare these two teams? Joe Morgan: Well you cannot compare anything anymore anyway.

Who's the most handsome NFL player?

Because I wrote the TSMass article.

TSMpedia, you mean, right? "Before posting here?" Where are you getting that? The term is 'TSMass,' not Masshole. Czech coined[1] it in the Sports folder just a few months ago.

Not really, I was just on the Patriots' bandwagon until they lost. I heart Randy Moss.

Because this ain't Carmen Sandiego.

I think that Randy Orton should win.

I know, I'm crushed. I still love Xavier, though. I can still win the pool if I go 6 for 6 on my remaining picks!

Thanks Simon, Venk, King, and Czech. And Leelee, of course. No, I sold it immediately. After all the taxes, I got about $22,000. Also, I'm going to Bristol this week, actually. I'm having lunch with Trey Wingo! Yes, I would like to be able to post in the gulag with my good friend Alyanna. Also, you should make Xavier defeat UCLA.

I'm a man! I'm 25!

I would like to see the following posters unbanned: Queen Leelee, Hotbutter Spoontoaster, The_Amazing_Rando (colloquially known as 'Fake Rando'), Damaramu, Anglesault, Randy Orton's Theme Music.

Yes, I like to experiment and theorize and systemize. I agree that it's not a good idea to pick game-by-game with statistical breakdowns. Human judgment tells us that Gonzaga wouldn't even win in round 1. The goal here is only to find the champion, because it's almost impossible to win your pool if you pick the wrong champion. People who don't know anything about college basketball can win, sure. But not 'always.'

Campbell must have jammed its 7 inch camel cock down everyone's throat. I agree that there's no magic spell that reveals who will win 6 games in a row, because teams do have bad games or go into berserker mode. But we can look at probability, can't we? It's more likely that Kansas will do it than Mississippi Valley State. And so we try to identify why it is that Kansas is more likely to win it.

It's fine to criticize. I want a system that works. Here's what I theorize. If you ran a simulation on this tournament many times, I think teams 1–5 would become the champion almost every time. That's it. Like, here's a theoretical breakdown (just making it up): Kansas 29% North Carolina 19% Memphis 18% Xavier 12% Georgetown 8% UCLA 3% Duke 2% Gonzaga 2% Wisconsin 2% Tennessee 2% Texas 2% All others combined 1%.