Vasarian_Brandy

They're the only ones willing to put up advertising for Peters' new sponsors... On a PERMANENT basis!

This particular kitten is probably the official bird of DOOM~!topia. Mmm... Kitten in a can.

Eh... The offense did seem pretty lop-sided at the beginning, maybe not so much at the end. But it's only an opinion. You were successful in what you were looking to accomplish for the match, and that's what counts.

So about this losing matches thread... (Smirk) I could use some commentary on how my match looked. And I'm sure that GM and I aren't the only ones that lost here... Anyone else got any morsels they'd like to share? And everyone else. GET OFF MY LAWN!

I think I'll take someone from the resident redneck, and commentify on the show, point by point. Yeah, I'm an , I know Bruce. Anyway... ----- * Pre-Show Antics: Someone's definitely got it out for Coyote revealing his lineage. A stealthy, sneaky beatdown is out of LDP's realm (he'd probably pull out of retirement for one match to beat Kevin down himself if anything)... I want to offer my conspiracy theory as the person that gave Peters the birth cert in the first place never intended for the info to go public... Blackmail or extortion of some sort. * Opening Promo: Well, well, well... Coyote always taking time out to talk to his peeps... EVEN THOUGH HE'S HOLDING UP THE WHOLE DAMN SHOW! As it is... Tsk tsk tsk... It's never good to piss off the vets, junior. (Grin) I am sure your comments will have a response made. * Griff vs. Cross: (Chuckles) Pete is obviously channeling through Hardy for this match... Yeah, that's it... As it is, the match flow seemed rushed. Maybe it's a bit of a thing with me, because I tend to break up my action sequences a little more. Things just seemed to build too quickly to a couple power moves at the end. But, maybe I recognize (or think I recognize) such things because I'm guilty too. (Shifty eyes) Another win for Cross, though, so it's all good in the hood. And Bruce, Griff's writer is doing the every-other-week thing, if I remember right. * Maddix Meltdown: Wow... I sense a little bitterness coming around. But, this is interesting insight on Landon. It'll be something to see where this goes. And King completely no-sells Hardy. It actually fits nicely with Cross' match. * DOOM~! vs. Skull: (Just laughs) I <3 Drea matches! And I feel smarter from it... Just looks at all those keen-o words! TRIUMVIRATE! GNEISS! PLENIPOTENTIARY! FOOG~! (Blades) I don't know... From this match, and the promo she wrote, I'd almost draw the conclusiong of an impending Jimmy OMGSWERVE~!... But maybe it's just all in my mind. And Heff stays around for a little longer. Always good. For Heff. * SWF '06 Action Figures: DaxxAtlantic... Hah! (Gets his credit card ready) So when are they taking pre-orders for the video game SWF Lockdown: Your Mother's A Whore, Trebek??? * Toxxic Light (Amy Stephens) vs. The I(L)L One: BTW, I mark for black pyro. At 5'10, 171, I'd think more along the lines of "Amazonian", but... The shades of Toxx come out a bit in this match... Beyond the writing style. Little touches here and there that hint at relation and info exchange. It's nice, and something I'm wondering we might see elsewhere as well. IL comes through smelling like a man that no-sold death, shaking off disgusting amounts of damage. And a reference to one Brian Levy... Hmm. Conspiracy theorists are smiling. Amy mocking IL with the clapping, then... Possibly making IL the happiest man to ever be on the wrong end of a move. Good flow to finish... And IL gets choked out by a girl. (Busts up laughing) * Frost-Brand Cigars: Now with 150% more exotic carcinogens! The Truth is out there... And the Truth is: DEATH SELLS! Now if you can sell IL on getting in on that campaign. * DOOM~!topia 101 * 90: I <3 Drea promos! * Cruiserweight, Tri-Style: That bra and panties match was quite good. But, I have to say that Zyon knows how to juggle playing with multiple angles. Pete, my 'old days' (glad I threw enough info out there to work with). The match itself seems to flow well. I don't know about you all, but I have the damndest times writing trip-threats. I always try to knock someone out of commission for short bursts to keep it one-on-one. But Zyon shows some multi-tasking skills, keeping everyone active and in the action pretty well. Two small nitpicks on my own character though - He will, more or less by nature, work the lower body / legs / ankles... It's an all-around trick he feeels works to his advantage through the weight scales. And he would not... WOULD NOT... Emulate the (cough)Legend(cough) that is the Nature Boy! (WOO!!!) "Proud, but not pompous". I'd call that strut pompous. Nice high-flying builds into busting out the mega moves near the end... Reversals... Sucks I got screwed out of 2 finishers though. The slight bit of distraction / move-break culminating in Zyon hitting his finisher for the W. Good ending to that. I approve. I see Coyote on a vendetta possibly though, wanting to follow up his proclomation at the beginning of the show. * gm2Pod: Pure. Marketing. Gold. * IL Rantfest!: Andy's mad. But if he can use his angle as a motivation to write, I'm all for it! (Marks for gorecore) Thanks for the shout, too. * Laberinto vs. "The Other King": Pete channeled for this one too. (Laugh) A good gesture from Max King seems out of place (for the moment). But then The Icon absolutely goes B-A-N-A-N-A-S with damn near wall-to-wall offense, Laberinto only getting a few glimpses (albeit flashy ones) of hope. Normally, I'm not one for a near-squash match, especially against an good upstart. However... HOWEVER... I smell a budding storyline here. I could be wrong, but there's obviously something more to this. In the end, King get the win, but Laberinto comes out on top. * THE ANNOUNCEMENT: No love for the boss... But that's alright, because the oft-ignored ones come up with some doozies... And this Lethal Lottery is THE doozy! 24 folks, randomly paired, put through a wringer of a tourney (which I'm thinking will have stips attached to the matches, just for flava), and meeting up with King and Maddix... In a TLC match! Beatings = Ratings, folks. And boy there are some wild pairings. Myers wil come out in either a Geek Squad outfit, or as Fry from Futurama. And Belancort will finally get a break! Zyon and Spike reuniting... Probably a dark-horse pair, due to tension. Skull and Von Dierch. Like Bruce said... The Third Reich. Cross and Akira... Go fig... And how in the name of Hell did I pull the only Mystery Partner??? Gah! IL / Coyote could be explosive. Amy / Bruce... I'm calling this one the very early winner. It's called 'complementing styles'. MansonDOOMity! I'll mark. * Coyote Ugly (Beatdown): Well... Maybe Kevin won't be making good on his promise to 'kick my ass' afterall... Not for a few minutes, at least. The story gets more and more intriguing. * The Diss-ness At Hand: Bruce Blank is already a walking weapon... He's just adding some features. Matt Myers... Clark Kent... Hoo'boy. But Bruce tells the world that he could give two shits in a rat's ass (in less words) about IL's challenge. This could get ugly. * GM Squared vs. B-Blank: Finally! There's a GM Theme Song! With words, even! Bruce looking no less mechanized himself tonight... I mark for the sports schtick. I mark even more for the "Football Glitch". Freaking awesome! "Purple People Imitator"... Gold. The analytical flow of the match makes me smile... A quasi first-person view from the perspective of GM. But... I just don't get GM's seeming aversion to weapons. Is it a bug or just logic-circuit strategy? Reminds me of the line from Invader Zim - "It's not stupid, it's advaaaaaaanced!" Bruce faking the knee injury? That seems a little improbable, considering all the abuse in recent weeks, but... It's played up well. We go backstage, into the auspice office of Tom Flesher... Strip Candy Land... I have to try that sometime. As it is, it figures that Bruce would use computer equipment as weapons against GM. Effectively, too, as GM hurts / shorts his / its ankle joint / servo out. Bathroom fighting is classic... Though I was expecting a swirlie. The ending seems terribly rushed... Though somewhat sensible, considering the "Deep Throat" promo. Bruce gets the 'cheap' win, and I'm sure he'll be happy with it. Belancourt is left trying to defrag, CHKDSK, and run registry repair utilities on GM. * Don't No-Show To Janus: I almost missed Ebony. Almost. As it is, it's nice to see Janus "write" something again. I'm nostalgic. * Tree vs. J-Cubed: Wow... Quite the match. Excellent banter between the three folks, and you can definitely feel the heat between ELM and Wes. I found it a bit hard to believe that ELM would go Mike Tyson on JJ, but... No DQs. Copious use of weapons and illegal blows really illustrating the near-desperation of both men. Lots of good set-ups for varied submission holds, plenty of opportunities and attempts. The ending was fitting of a heel trying to get a win... But I'm thinking this may play into a possible apology re-neg by JJ on Smarkdown. Course, lingering effects from a neck compression and a huge head hit might play into no apology on Smarkdown. Overall, the flow was good, but the length seemed short. Still... ELM retains. * Post-Show Pink Slip: Wow... Now we find out who got the Three Stooges in. Or was it? The angle gets deeper... Could that mysterious person at the beginning of the show have been Judge? Or someone that wanted to see his downfall? A new force trying to hold the SWF down? We shall see... ----- Okay, I'm done. (Laugh) I'm shutting up.

Yeah, sorry about that; Jay indicated to me that he might not be able to get something in for the show, but I can't write promos for shit, and couldn't come up with anything. In the Cruiserweight defense, I had enough trouble writing the actual match to deal with a hype promo. C'est la vie, as they say.

Ahh, rock on then. Sign me up when you get back started. Anyway, back on topic... So, are you coming back to us yet?

Yeah, that's what I was thinking myself... I'm probably going to make the switch after this show. And dude... This particular Clan stuff is back from the IGNML days... Like... 4 years ago.

With the SWF caravan traveling northbound from San Fran to Portland, I took the opportunity to travel back up to Washington to visit some old friends. My not-so-hot restart into wrestling, combined with a less-than-stellar interview segment on AftershoX, had my mind ill at ease. I should’ve known that Hardy’s line of questioning would go in the direction it did, but... It still shocked me. What he was implying and suggesting was... Frankly, it was too ridiculous, too insulting to even fathom. But... What if he was right? I shook the thought from my head as I glanced at the in-dash guidance system. A left up here, and... There it was. A small Tacoma gym that served as a second home for me for a few months way back when. The guy that ran the place was still a friend of mine, and someone I shared a lot with after I lost... Lara. Christ... I knew that coming back to the SWF was going to re-open old wounds, but... This was a lot all at once. I’m glad my friend agreed to see me. I parked my S2000, and stepped out. As is the norm in Washington, it was raining. I let it beat down on me for a few moments... It helped clear my thoughts a little bit. I walked though the door, and was greeted with the sounds of training... The grunts, slaps, footfalls on the mats, bodies off the ropes... “For Pete’s sake! What do ya think you’re doin’?!?!” I found myself grinning at the voice. The most unmistakable part of a training session at this gym. I walked into the low-lit training area, and found James hard at work, chewing out one of his projects. “Ya gotta watch th’ throws!” he was growling at a young man in the ring, who looked no more than 16. “If you’re nay careful, you’ll snap the guy’s neck!” “James,” I responded, “You better watch it, old man... Young impressionable kid like that, you might give him ideas.” James turned, and his grizzled expression softened into a sincere smile. “Chris, ya little shit!” He walked over to me, shook my hand, and then wrapped me in a bear hug that was steely strong for someone of his 55 years. “Ya shoulda called me before ya got here. I woulda had some space set aside for us t’ spar a bit!” I grinned like a fool. “You know you couldn’t beat me even at half your age, old man.” We shared a laugh, then he turned to his gawking protege. “What? Ya ain’t never seen a pro before? Hit th’ showers, kiddo! We’ll finish this after breakfast!” “Yessir, Mister McPatrick!” The fresh-faced kid slipped under the ropes, grinning madly at me before taking off to the locker room area. James looked at me and motioned to his office. “Y’know I always have th’ time for an ol’ friend, Chris. C’mon in.” I chuckled as we walked into the sparse office. “How do you know I’m not just here for an ass-kicking before the next show?” He laughed. “Nay, Chris... I dunna think ya need your ass kicked anymore than ya have recent.” He reached into the fridge, pulling out 2 bottles of Starbucks... Mocha Frapps, to be exact. I popped the top on mine as he looked me over, like the teacher he is and the student I once was. “I know ya aren’t just here on a social visit, Chris. I’ve been watchin’ ya.” I shook my head. Should’ve known he’d be following me. “Of course you know that,” I tried to counter with a weak smile. “I told you I needed to talk.” “I knew that beforehand,” he said with a rueful smile. “I saw how ya started out... How that Clusterfuck went... How that interview went last night.” Damn him for being so observant. “It hasn’t been easy on ya, has it?” He can't be serious... “No, frankly it hasn’t!” I realized I had snapped the instant I finished, but James held up a hand. “Nay, you’re right. It hasn’t been easy. But comin’ back t’ somethin’ ya haven’t done in a while never is.” He sighed, then shook his head at me, very fatherly-like. “Unfortunately, m’lad... Th’ past is something ya have t’ live with...” He poked me in the chest. “It’s part of what makes ya ‘you’...” “Even the bad parts, huh? “Aye, even th’ bad.” I sighed. It wasn’t what I wanted to hear, but... In a way it was. “Listen, lad... Th’ lass Lara... She taught ya how t’ live... How t’ love. Right?” I could feel my heart wrenching as he spoke. “Yeah.” “And th’ Clan... They tried t’ use that all as a weakness. Took it away t’ harden ya, give ya your focus.” “Focus my...” James looked at me for a moment, then said something that rocked me like a kick to the jaw. “Ya did start t’ win titles after they got ya... Didn’t ya?” If it had been anyone else, I would’ve taken their head off right then and there. But I knew this particular old man would still be ticking if I did. I felt my hands digging into the arms of the chair. “You’re starting to sound like Ben Hardy, James.” I started to stand, but James lanced me with a steely grey gaze. “Sit th’ fuck down, Christian. I’m nay done with ya yet.” The force behind his words made me pause. The only times he used this particular tone of voice were when he was trying to get a vital point across. He used it when the student wasn’t listening. I sat back down, begrudgingly, to hear him out. “Now...” He sat back in his chair. “I know ya, Chris. Ya still feel for Lara. Ya never lost that. Am I strayin’ too far from th’ truth, lad?” “No.” “All th’ Clan did was bury it in a mountain of shite and torture-induced brainwashin’. After ya got away, who was there t’ take ya back?” A long pause. “Lara was.” “Aye... She was. Faithful til th’ day th’ Good Lord above brought her t’ be his angel.” My hands shook as I stayed quiet. I could feel James’ demeanor soften. He knew I was listening now. “Lad... Ya always had th’ drive, th’ ambition. Even without th’ Clan’s intervention... Ya know ya were startin’ t’ bring it around.” He chuckled softly. “I saw it with my own two eyes...” I couldn’t help but crack my lips up slightly. “And I know that you’ve heard th’ fans behind ya since ya came back. Ya can’t ignore them forever. It’s nay like ya.” I shook my head. “They’re not why I’m back, James. I came back to prove myself.” “And why can’t they be a part o’ that?” He leaned forward, steepling his hands on the desk. “Chris, your greatest weapon is th’ love for th’ sport... Th’ respect ya have for everything that it is. Th’ fans are a part o’ that.” He leaned to poke at me again, over the heart. “Ya have th’ drive, th’ ambition still. Th’ body may be rusty, but th’ mind has never lost th’ ability.” He grinned “Ya also don’t need a bunch o’ sunglass-wearin’, dark-coated, fancy-speakin’ sons o’ bitches to give ya your focus. You’ve always had it. Still do now.” I found my lips curled up into a smile. “Yeah... Yeah, I suppose you’re right.” He grunted. “Suppose nothin’. I know I’m right.” I laughed, and he looked at me, that steely serious gaze again. “Question is, lad... Do ya know it yourself?” I looked at him in thought. The Clan had given me focus and drive... Or, rather, they just exposed what was always there. I knew that. Their hold on me and usefulness to me was no more. Lara gave me belief in the better things in life. But she was always with me... Even now. The fans still believed. They backed me in this. I looked up at James again. I still had my friends. Nothing had changed. “Yes... I know it now.” James cracked a grin. “Ya shoulda known it before... Maybe ya would be on a winnin’ streak.” I chuckled. “Always the bottom line with you, isn’t it?” “Aye. Ya know me too well.” I leaned back in the chair, taking a deep breath. “Thanks, James... This... This is what I needed.” “Dinna mention it, lad. Ya know I’m here for ya. Always have been.” I smiled and started to stand, but James held up a hand. “Might I ask ya a favor though?” I raised an eyebrow, and nodded. “Since ya want t’ include th’ crowd a wee bit more, ya may want to tweak your entrance... Just a wee bit. Play t’ th’ crowd some.” I popped both eyebrows up in mock surprise. “You want me to be cocky and showboat?” He scoffed, a grin parting his lips. “I want ya t’ show your appreciation t’ them for stickin’ with ya.” I nodded. “Fair enough.” “And...” I blinked, eyeing him as he pulled out an iPod with earbuds. “While I like th’ tastes of music ya have,” he started, pushing some buttons on the tiny player. “I have somethin’ ya may want t’ use.” I rolled my eyes as he handed me the device. James’ tastes in music were much more... Classical... Mellow... Gae... lic. “Dinna be rollin’ your eye at me, lad. Just listen.” I nodded, and put the earbuds on... I figured I’d at least humor him. But when I pushed Play, and listened to what he had for me... I went wide-eyed with surprise. I hit Stop, and looked at his grinning face. “I told ya so, lad.” “Where did you come up with that???” He waved a hand dismissively. “Th’ young lads and lasses that come through th’ doors... All different tastes in music.” He chuckled. “I’m nay as stodgy and set in my ways as ya and th’ others may think.” He winked, and I had no choice but to laugh. “Alright... I’ll think about it. If I go with it, it won’t be until the show after this one.” “Fair enough,” James parroted with a grin. “Now off with ya. Ya need t’ get some practice in, or else that rusty ass o’ yours will never get anywhere.” He shooed me out the main door with a laugh, but stopped and hugged me close. “Fair winds be at your back, lad... And thanks for visitin’.” “Thanks for your sage advice... Old man.” I was rewarded with a sparring box to the ears. “Off with ya, before I put ya down in th’ parking lot here.” I laughed, and took my leave of James. And as I turned my S2000 back onto the main road, I saw the sun start to peek out from behind the clouds near the horizon. It’s about how I felt now. A new dawn. And I’d be a fool not to take advantage.

Slutbomb! Tell me your secrets... I have OOTP 6.5. And... Oooooh, do I detect a possible return?

"...And my son... Tater Tot..."

Well... I don't think I'm quite 'washed-up' yet... (Chuckles) At least I hope not.

Judge: Yeah, barring any sort of circumstances "beyond my control" (read as: Swerve!), James will be an on-going confidant. And if this losing streak somehow keeps going, he may become more involved. Toxx: (Laughs) "Remember The Name" by Fort Minor. Somehow, I think it more appropriate. Not sure.

Welcome to my standard match-writing style, Bruce. First-person perspective FTW~! And yes, detailed analyses are always good... Keep it up!

MAIN EVENT WORLD TITLE BOUT, SUBMISSION MATCH El Luchadore Magnifico© vs JJ Johnson SPECIAL GUEST COMMENTATOR: Wes Davenport - Tree to retain, but JJ's going to make it uber close. And I'm putting even money on Muzzums writing something anyway. SINGLES MATCH "The Divine Wind" Akira Kaibatsu vs Todd Cortez - Beans, beans, the magical fruit... HARDCORE TITLE BOUT Bruce Blank© vs Ghost Machine 2.0 - If anyone can beat the machine, it's Brucie. MAJOR ANNOUNCEMENT! - If Heff gets fired, Ghost Machine 2.0 will be Crimson Skull's new 'partner'. SINGLES MATCH Laberinto vs "The Icon" Max King - Max to beat Masked. CRUSIERWEIGHT TITLE BOUT, TRIPLE THREAT Zyon© vs Kevin Coyote vs Christian Fury - Fuck that noise, yo... SINGLES MATCH Amy Stephens vs Insane Luchador - Not that I want to see Andy get his ass kicked by a grrl, but... SINGLES MATCH Jimmy the Doom vs The Crimson Skull - Doom becomes you! DOOOOOM!!! OPENING BOUT SINGLES MATCH Archie Griffon vs Michael Cross - Anger is good, yes...

(Shakes head at being ranked below Myers) Eh... Guess it's time to do some work.

1) Who are you, and what have you done this year? I am Chris Fury, on-again / off-again writer, worker, and active. This year, I've made my umpteenth return to the Fed. 2) What do you think of CC and their work at this time? Considering the wide-flung vareity of personalities, backgrounds, and interests of the writers of the Fed... I think the CC has done an admirable job of trying to keep everyone in the varied loops, and making sure a quality product is out there. Although even in the short time I've been back I've seen some faux-paus and gaffes, I attribute it to the newer CCs needing a little more time to know their roles. 3) What do you think this fed's strongest suit is? The aforementioned vareity of the writers. Everyone's got a spice to add to the stew here, and that's a good thing. I mean, what other e-Fed would dare try to come up with things like Calvinball, Miami Mayhem, Mall Brawl, and the like... And have them work on a consistent basis??? It's a tribute to the writers that give these oddball gimmicks and angles a shot, and put their own signature on them. 4) What do you think this fed's weakest suit is? I'll be honest. When I came back around here, I thought that the Fed would (if still around) be a ghost of its former glory. I'm glad I was wrong, but I do see something... We're getting older, folks. Our lives are changing, and priorities are shifting. But just because the real world is getting more serious for us doesn't necessarily mean that our personas have to follow suit. This is our escape. For Goddess' sake, I know that real life gets in the way of our little gem of a world here... But just because our lives rebel against us, we don't have to suck our characters down into the same mire. Not sure if any of that made sense, but here it is in a nutshell: Let's get back to what worked for us before. Serious when we have to be, but light-hearted and fun because we want to be. 5) Do you have any suggestions for changes in how things are run? Honestly, I haven't been back long enough to see all the nuances... Ditching Family Friendly seemed like a good start though. I like Judge's suggestions for the new slots in CC, but... That'd be a Hell of an implementation, and the growing pains and all. 6) Overall, do you like the direction the fed is headed in? Seeing a lot of the old (but good) blood coming back in some way, shape, and form is "a good thing". The newer writers are also real talents. Diamonds in the rough and all that. So I think we're on the up-and-up. And that makes me a glad panda.

But can you handle losing that match? J/k... ...Or am I???

Ahh... Easy enough. (Nods) I approve.

(Laugh) Go figure, that was an ending that I kinda threw together haphazardly... I was going to have the interview go not-so-South, but... I toyed with the idea of the near-mention of the Clan because of the other angle that was started. Glad it took well.

Someone care to remind me of the particulars behind cruiserweight rules? This drunk and addled (but mostly drunk) mind can't recall...

As it should. (Nods) Seriously though, it's just the issue that I've grown up with the NFL and such being called football, and that other game is called soccer. I'm a stubborn cuss like that.

I've actually been able to get into soccer a little bit. I blame FIFA Soccer 2006 from EA Sports. But I refuse, -refuse-, REFUSE to call it football. That is not football. NFL, NCAA, the Arena League. That's football.

(Tries to stop laughing long enough to post) No... No no no. ihvog4wv 84r (Busts up laughing again, can't post)

Oh, I'm sure some ESPN channel or another will pick up on it. I know I saw a Cricket highlight on a Sportscenter Top Ten segment recently, so...