Zack Malibu

I didn't mention any names man. I was talking to Zack, but lest Zack think I'm seriously calling him an asshole, I'm not. Nah, I didn't take any of this shit seriously IDRM, it's cool. I had talked about OAOAST stuff with Banky like right before it, so I knew it was some type of tie-in.

::Has been selling all night.::

I like the both of you, but I'm completely lost in this conversation.

Huss > Yosh

No Yosh. Huss.

Huss is the new "indeed". Example: Miss Mattitude writes: "Zack Malibu is the coolest guy ever." Zack responds with: "Huss."

It's catching on. Good work, Chave.

Well that depends on how HOT you like it. ZING~!

*sobs* Damn guys, with dedication like that, this thread will never falter to the bottom of the page. Of course we'll be met with half-assed retorts of "Let it go", but we shan't! We will not be denied. ::Notices Ripper won't be around until Monday.:: Ah fuck.

Yes, but now that you're here, you can keep us up. ::Realizes what he just said.:: BTW, hey Ripper. Saw you lurking. What's shakin', my good man?

It's not over...it's never over... ::Cue dramatic movie music, as Zack, MM and AM all share a hug.::

RHODE ISLAND: PRIDE: Spike Dudley Justin Credible SHAME: Chuck Palumbo

Where's the Dion love? Runaround Sue is one of the all time great oldies songs.

Jump schmump. I graciously allowed Malibu Enterprises to end, and have now joined fellow Elitists. It's like the NWO Elite. Did I just say that?

I second SP.

In addition to skits, CWM will take on Naz Mistry.

::Grabs egg sandwhich. Eats it.:: Waitaminute...Cranda let me eat it...he's trying to kill me to take my spot! It's a conspiracy!

Zack Malibu will have his own press conference to respond to both Spider-Poet as well as Calvin Szechstein. Rando vs. Zero in the final first round match for the Revolution Tourney (Rando I need ya to write this one buddy) CWM/Hex will have stuff I'm sure. Dream Machines vs. Mad Matt/Axel for the Tag Titles (if the DM's are up for it).

Good review Jay. The first match alone would make me buy the tape from the review you gave it. Nice to read some of Cabana's past stuff, as I'm getting highly into the SCS since I saw them at ROH.

No. Austin3164Life is still around though.

CWM, the match was all I had from you. And yeah, BPP got his promo in late, after the show was already formatted mostly, so Tim did recover nicely.

Rated on the system of "best places to get clothes".

PROPS: Northstar CWM Mad Matt Calvin Parka Popick Poet Ted Weddy Sly What?

Cut to a shot of a large podium, Calvin Szechstein stepping out from behind a large blue curtain and getting into position behind the podium. He clears his throat, looking out at the many men in attendance before beginning to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank you all for coming, especially you... yes, you in the pink skirt. I'm staying at a beautiful Best Western, you should check it out." "Enough of my rambling. Let's get to business. For the past few weeks, several things have negatively effected the Totally Endorsed empire. We have had members leave our ranks, members continually get defeated, members go through glass - in essence, everything that could go wrong, has gone wrong." "I myself, as leader of Totally Endorsed, have had some troubles of my own. For the past few weeks, I have been on a mission to recruit OAOAST Heavyweight Champion Zack Malibu into the Totally Endorsed fold. I have failed in all of my attempts, something which I take very personally." "However, Calvin Szechstein is not one to allow others to stand in the way of his success! I have seen Zack Malibu's weaknesses, and I have seen his strengths, and I realize that his biggest weakness... is his unwillingness to cash in on what he could become." "No longer will I waste my time trying to save his soul from the dark days that will come when he loses that title. I realized, my friends, that it is not really Zack Malibu that I wanted for Totally Endorsed..." *dramatic pause* "...it is Zack Malibu's OAOAST Heavyweight championship." "And that is why, tonight, I am officially declaring myself the number one contender to Zack Malibu's OAOAST Heavyweight championship, and I officially challenge him to a ladder match at AngleSlam: Screams of No Reply. With that OAOAST Heavyweight championship hanging fifteen feet above the ring, the two of us ready to have a bloody encounter... and Zack Malibu, my friend, one of us will be changed for the better, and one for the worse. If you accept my challenge... well, I'm pretty sure you know which one you are." "Thank you, there will be refreshments supplied by Acme Refreshment Bureau, and have a nice night." END SHOW

Cole: Why is there trash all over the place? Coach: Let's go to the Fink and find out! Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen it is time for the much delayed OAOAST 24/7 title battle royal! The crowd claps politely Announcer: The rules for this match are as follows; Once a competitor gets a pinfall he must makes his way back to the waiting Snapple taxi cab (cab is shown on screen) and exit the arena. However on his way back to the Snapple taxi cab he can be assaulted and pinned by any one who wants to win the illustrious 24/7 title. With that in mind lets meet the competitors. *Cue "Satan" Cole: Uh Oh! Announcer: Now making his way to the ring from Hollywood Florida, weighing in at Two hundred and Twenty-five pounds....HEX MACHINA! *Cue "Satan" one more time* Coach: Jeez, someone fire this production guy. I just heard this song! Who is he, Carson Daly? Cole: SNAP! Announcer: Now making his way to the ring....NAZ MISTRY! Coach: Look at his CWM must die T-shirt. Very well sown and excellent fabric detail. *Cue "Mindless Pawns" * Cole: It's time rock in! Coach: That's rock out! Rock out! Announcer: Now making his way to the ring, from Yokohama, Japan, weighing in at Two hundred ten pounds, Mongoose FOSHI!!!! Crowd: Foshi! Foshi! Foshi! *Cue "Stupid Girl" * Cole: What the...? Please tell me it's not who I think it is. Oh lord have mercy on me if it's Choko! Announcer: Making her return to the OAOAST....Choko! *Cue "Cult of Personality" * Announcer: Now making his way to the ring, from Cleveland, Ohio weighing in at a lot of pounds....COLVID! *Cue random production music* Announcer: Uh.....uh......hmm......ladies and gentlemen making their, um, triumphant return to the OAOAST, members of the original In Crowd, the Mean Street Posse, JOEY ABS, RODNEY AND PETE GAS! Before their music can be played, Rando and Zero charge down the entrance ramp and attack the Posse! Coach: Don't even ask, Cole. Cole: Ask about what? Coach: Ask if all of these tag team partners are going to team up and try to win the belt together. It's not possible. It's not a tag team belt, it's a singles title and one man can win it. Cole: I know that. Every man for himself and all that jazz. Colvid yanks a trash can full of modems from under the ring. He throws a CNET internal modem at Zero and an AOL Broadxent modem at Foshi. Hex clocks Colvid in the back with a clock to end the modem assault. Pin attempt by Hex 1....2....broken up by Rodney. Hex and Rodney brawl, while Zero and Colvid exchange toaster shots. Rando hits Foshi and Pete with a MOONSAULT FROM THE TOP TO THE OUTSIDE. Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Zero DDTs Colvid onto a lava lamp causing lava liquid to fly into the crowd. Joey and Rodney fuck Hex up with a double powerbomb. Joey turns his back to celebrate and gets drilled in the head with the Stanley Cup by Rodney! Pin attempt 1...2....3!! Cole: Rodney's got to make it to the Snapple taxi cab! Hurry up Rodney and run. Naz throws Rodney into the ring. Rodney tries to scramble out but a series of right hands to the jaw by Naz end the escape attempt. Naz pounds on Rodney, Colvid attempts to light Rando on fire, and Choko pile drives Pete onto a toy fire truck. Pin attempt by Choko....what the fuck is she doing!? Go pin Rodney, dip shit! Crowd: Foshi! Foshi Foshi! Rodney hits a flapjack on Naz but gets super kicked by Colvid. Pin attempt 1...2....kick out! Colvid goes to the top. Rodney catches him with a spine buster on the way down. Rodney gets caught with a German suplex by Foshi! Pin attempt 1...2....3! Cole: Now, Foshi has to make it to the Snapple taxi cab! Coach: What's Snapple? Foshi encounters stiff resistance by Zero. Joey drops a brick on Pete's head, ending his portion of the match! Rando tosses Naz into the crowd and heads straight for Foshi. Hex has Colvid tied up in the corner Coach: Hex is choking Colvid to death! Colvid breaks free of the hold and elbows Hex in the jaw. Foshi fights off Zero and Rando, and trudges up the ramp. Abs blasts the back of his knees with a kendo stick and rolls him back to the ring. Pin attempt 1...2....kickout. Choko catches Abs in a one armed sleeper hold and proceeds to shave his head! Naz and Hex double team Rodney with a double suplex while Foshi crawls out of the ring. Cole: Does any one notice Foshi is getting away? Coach: I think Colvid does. He's heading over to cut him off! Colvid grabs Foshi by neck and tries to chokeslam him onto the steel ramp. At the last minute Foshi hits Colvid in the nose with the 24/7 title! Foshi's not in the clear yet! Rando blindsides him with a case of Vanilla Pepsi! Cole: Hey that's mine! Zero marches up the ramp and tells Rando he deserves the pin. Rando slaps Zero and the two start whaling on each other! Back in the ring, Hex is drawing a grotesque amount of blood from Choko by raking the hair clippers across her forehead. Rodney gorilla presses Naz to the outside and throws him back into the crowd! Cole: Rodney's headed to where the action and the title is! Hex grabs some anal beads and launches them full force at Rodney! Rod crashes to the ground and smacks the side of his head against the steel ramp! Hex charges into the gang that's beating on Foshi and cleans house with series of right hands!! Without surveying the carnage, Hex runs to the back! Coach: Where's he going? What a weirdo! Crowd: Booooooo! Colvid looks up just in time to see Hex driving the fucking GOLF CART that's ramming into his face! Hex throws a beer at Colvid and then runs over Rodney! Twice! Hex backs up the ramp and rams the bumper into Zero's face! Abs makes a blind charge for Hex! He speeds up and hits Abs, sending him flying into the air and onto Rodney! Hex heads towards the back. As he makes his way up the ramp Zero uses the last of the strength to throw the beer can at Hex! Hex tumbles out of the cart and watches in horror as it topples onto Rando! Crowd: Holy shit! Holy shit! Holy shit! Cole: Oh my god! That cart just fell onto Rando. We need a doctor! Lots of doctors! An emergency room full of doctors! Now! Somebody get them out here! Coach: Has anyone seen Foshi? The camera switches to a shot of Foshi crawling to the Snapple cab. When he finally makes it to the door someone decides to step on his head. Voice: Hush little baby. Just hush. This will be over soon. Just roll over and let daddy pin you. The camera pans out to show the vicious and psychotic, Northstar. Cole: What's he doing here? Where the hell is security? He just tried to kill Tim Moysey but now he gets a free pass into the building? Gimme a break! Northstar uses his foot to roll Foshi onto his back. Pin attempt 1...2....3. Northstar slides into the cab. We can see him take a sip from a refreshing Snapple ice tea as the cab drives into the night. Announcer: Your winner and new 24/7 champion......NORTHSTAR! Crowd: Bulllllshit! Bulllllshit! Coach:"Are you kidding me!? He wasn't even in the match...was he?" MC:"24/7 Rules, Coach. Anything goes, and it everything went! Shattered...Smink...NORTHSTAR just got the hell out of dodge with the 24/7 Title!" Coach:"Tim is NOT going to be happy about this." MC:"Not many people are. Look at the trash in the ring." Coach:"That was there before the match started." MC:"I don't think Big Gulp cups were part of the arsenal." Coach:"Says you." MC:"Well, it's been another wild and hectic HeldDOWN~!. For Michael Cole, I'm...what now? We still have another segment? Well we've only got a minute and 13 seconds left, lets go to whoever!"