RavishingRickRudo

54: Sales of Keffiyeh have gone up 5% in Urban markers since his debut on UPN. Not since Yasser Arafat has there been such a boom in Keffiyeh sales.

You're putting way too much thought into this. They weren't thinking "how can we keep Benoit a part of the program down the road and on PPV cards for months at a time." They were thinking, "how can we get him on the card at GAB. Hey, Orlando Jordan needs an opponent." The match wasn't to put over Jordan or to do anything in relation to anyone's standing on the card. It was to fill 15 minutes of PPV time. Period. They've done that with Benoit before, but it's usually with Eddie Guerrero and the purpose is to "put on a good match". They don't need an excuse to put Benoit on the card, so why OJ and why the US title? It's pretty clear that Benoit was supposed to get the gold. It doesn't take much thought to figure that out - pretty much everyone here had Benoit winning that match. But he didn't. So why? Why change it? What could possibly have happened in the past few weeks to change it? Now, let's stop reading into things that the bookers weren't thinking, and look at the PPV from a kayfabe perspective. Undertaker won a match to become the #1 contender for the title. JBL defeated the World champion by DQ. Benoit got pinned in a US Title match. Which one of these doesn't belong in the main event? Has that stopped them before? Benoit as US champion would have taken him out of the main event, now he can move up a level rather easily. The loss itself will be both written off and forgotten by Summerslam time. You can't tell me that just because you want to see a good worker in the title match that the WWE's planning for it to happen. I'm guessing you probably didn't want to see Kevin Nash main event a PPV with HHH or Hogan vs. Vince as a hyped WM match, but they went ahead with those, didn't they? Where have I ever put my own personal feelings in on this? I couldn't care less about what Benoit is doing right now, the WWE has effectively killed my interest in him - the only thing that I would have interest in him doing is a match against Sheldon Benjamin and a match against Brock Lesnar. So if I _wanted_ to think something up for Benoit, why wouldn't I put him in a match with either of those guys. What I am doing here is thinking of reasons for Benoit losing, and the most likely one I am seeing involves him being put in the title spat. They didn't invest any time into OJ/Benoit before, so the feud hasn't been a priority for them. Maybe they'll continue it to Summerslam because JBL/Benoit is being held off because of the Hassan thing. That's pretty likely as well. But to write it off as a "filler match" when there's clearly more to it than that is just ignorant. This leads me to believe that they're going to run Taker/Batista on Smackdown, get it out of the way (maybe ending on an RKO to Taker at the 8:00 mark), and set up JBL/Batista II and Taker/Orton for Summerslam You think they would blow off Taker/Batista on a Smackdown? While I can see your scenario happening, I don't think they would waste that potential match up on "free tv".

You have to look at their long term planning. Orton/Batista was probably scheduled for their fall programming - perhaps headlining their single ppv after Summerslam, Orton taking the title, Batista winning the rematch at Survivor Series (Hell, the rubber match could take place at Armageddon - then you have Brock/Batista leading all the way from RR to WM). They had (most of that) all planned out. So what they're doing now is a stall tactic. They obviously thought Batista/JBL was enough of a draw since they had it headlining, so in their mind it's not a step down by having it continue. It's not a step up, but it's not a step down.

I do think they're in a position where they think that Benoit might be slightly above the US Title, but they're certainly not pushing Benoit for the World Title. I never said that Benoit was going to _get_ the title, I said that it looks like they might put him in with JBL, Taker, and Batista. JBL and Batista isn't finished, Taker is the number 1 contender. That suggests a 3 way at Summerslam. Do we see the problem in that? BRADSHAW is the biggest bumper there. It's not very balanced, it needs someone to carry the workload. This is pretty good reasoning for putting Benoit in there. Basically, the fact that Benoit was in the US Title match means they have no plans for him whatsoever, and that they just threw him in their to fill out the card. Or they wanted to put a midcard title on Benoit as they _always do_ because they have no plans for him whatsoever but still want him on the card and are too lazy to think of reasons. It's pretty obvious that this match was to give Benoit the title - if they wanted OJ to "go over" Benoit, then the win would have been clean as Benoit is willing to job clean and put over just about any young guy. However, the Hassan thing happened and Batista didn't have an opponent for Summerslam. Blow off Batista/Taker right now? That might hurt Big Dave. Throw in JBL for a threeway, that way you can put the heat on him and not make it a battle for the fans to choose between Smackdowns #1 star and the deadman. The problem with that was outlined above. So they need a worker. Well, Eddie is feuding with Rey and it appears they want to blow that off at Summerslam. Benoit is the next likely guy to be put in there (Christian would be another odd-ball pick, a heel worker who can stooge for the big men, but he lost to Booker T). If Benoit had won by DQ then I'd be sure he would be put up in the ME, but since they had a DQ finish for the main and it's not good to repeat finishes especially title finishes, they opted for the cheap win for OJ instead. For now, they're likely to continue throwing him into random PPV matches to fill out cards, until such time as it's convenient to use him in a upper-tier match again. (Say Brock's return if Taker's busy.) Wouldn't you say it's convenient to use him now given the current title picture?

I can't really explain them not giving him the US title if they aren't going to elevate him afterwards. OJ winning in that fashion didn't help him, so it wasn't for him, and it didn't really hurt Benoit because it was a nothing feud, for a nothing belt, and his loss wasn't clean. How else would you explain it? I am certainly open to different opinions here, I just can't explain it any other way. "They're fucking idiots who don't know what they're doing" is another one I'll buy, but I think the latter is more likely. You brought up Brock... Maybe they're saving him for Brock Lesnars return? I could see that as well. Brock shouldn't be going after the US champion upon his return, he's had good matches with Benoit in the past, it's a "safe" return feud. But I heard Brock isn't in the best conditioning right now and I don't think that deal is even signed.

You didn't get the memo. I wanted OJ to win, because Benoit winning the US title and being US champion would _hurt_ him, not help (something most posters here can't seem to understand). If OJ won, he'd at least gain something (something that the WWE obviously didn't understand by giving him a tainted win). It looks like they might be setting Benoit up in the World Title feud, given the fact that Hassan is now out. It's not that Taker/Batista/JBL couldn't last until Summerslam, it's just that they wouldn't last very long after. Benoit, JBL, Taker, Batista in a 4 way at Summerslam. Benoit/JBL, Taker/Batista at No Mercy, perhaps. Benoit/Batista at Survivor Series. Maybe even put Orton in there, you could make it till maybe Royal Rumble with those 5 cycling around the top of the card.

5. You can't say his name without smiling.

2. Best music on Smackdown.

(On a park bench, eating ice cream as Tomko stands beside them, almost dozing off) Kerwin: Oh my, you can almost see the stars tonight. Beautiful aren't they? Bright and White, shining through the darkness of space... poetic, even. I hope you enjoyed this night as much as I. *Kerwin looks over at his date* *The date is licking the ice cream cone in a very sexually suggestive manner.* Kerwin: Oh... Oh my... Oh.....my.... Oh, oh... Oh my... um... well... um.... oh, you're really enjoying that... cone.... the vanilla... it's dripping down your chin... here, let me... let me get that... *takes out handkerchief and tabs her chin*... oh my... *takes handkerchief and dabs his own forehead*... it's rather hot, tonight... very, very, hot... so hot... Oh... MY GAWD DAMN, let's go back to my place and get primative. (Tomko wakes up and turns his attention towards the bench) There are so many things I wanna do to you babe, so many -quite possibly illegal- things, and I swear I won't get any in your hair... *Tomko dives at Kerwin and takes him down* Kerwin: LET ME GO! *The date runs away* Kerwin: NO DAMMIT NO! CHAVO WANTS! CHAVO NEEDS! Tomko: KERWIN! KERWIN! MR WHITE! *Slaps KW a few times* Kerwin: Tyson? Mr. Tomko? What... what happened? Where's??? Oh no... Oh my...

(After the dinner, Kerwin and his date are walking in the park while Tomko trails not-too-far behind) Kerwin: Well, I must say, that dinner was absolutely DREADFUL (laughs). That waiter had the GALL to put more than a dash of pepper on my steak, why, I almost had him by the throat if Mr. Tomko didn't prevent me from doing so. It appears I have not escaped my latin upbringing quite yet. Thankfully, in the end, cooler heads prevailed. Speaking of cool, here we are, the best icecream stand in town, I'm told. (looks back at Tomko, Tomko nods) Well, let us see... Chocolate *Tomko shakes his head* Mint *Tomko shakes his head* Bubblegum *Tomko shakes his head* Butterscotch *Tomko shakes his head* French Vanilla *Tomko thinks for a second... nods* French Vanilla it is!

(At the french restaurant, Kerwin and his date are sitting down at a table, Tomko is seated behind Kerwin at another table) Kerwin: This is real...swell.. you and me here tonight. I have to say, you look stunning tonight, my dear. Date: Well, thank you. *Waiter walks up* Kerwin: So, what would you like to have... *Tomko taps Kerwins shoulder and whispers in his ear* Kerwin: I mean, (looks to the waiter), she'll have the roast -extra lean with a hint of pink-, a baked potato with some sour cream on the side, and I'll have the tenderloin, medium rare, with a side garden salad - no dressing, please. Thank you. Oh, garcon, and a bottle of sparkling white, two glasses, and maybe another loaf of bread (whispers) it's fantastic *laughs and winks*... BUT NOT BUTTERED! *Tomko looks on and smiles. Gives Kerwin a thumbs up, which Kerwin returns. The date, however, is none too pleased.*

Tyson Tomko Caucasian Consultant Call 1-888-TTH-onky and ask -not axe- for Tyson.

*A hot latin mama walks by* Kerwin: Oh damn girl, you lookin tight tonight! *Tomko goes bug-eyed, then closes his eyes and shakes his head while Kerwin hits on the lady* *Tomko whispers in Kerwins ear* Kerwin: Oh, yeah, right... *brief pause* Kerwin: Sorry madam, I apologize for my forthrightness. I was not myself, it must be the summer airs. Oh my. I hope to have not scared you off, as I meant no offense. I, however, would wish to have more of your time - perhaps later on this e-ven-ing where we could dine at a french restaurant, Mr. Tomko knows of a real dazzler downtown and then perhaps we could go for a stroll and maybe, if it's not too much, have a cone of icecream... vanilla, of course.

And hates himself for falling in love with a latin stud? ... perhaps. A must would be Kerwin trying to be white, but not quite getting it and Tyson shakes his head and whispers in Kerwins ear, and then Kerwin fixes his mistake.

Kerwin White should have Tyson Tomko as his bodyguard. 1)Tomko is doing nothing right now. 2) Tomko has the white supremacist look down. 3) Tomko is a great straight man, and for a gimmick like KW, a straight man is integral. 4) Something like this always had a bodyguard.

It's sad that the most basic answer to the WWE's problems is just "better organization". If they just charted out which wrestlers they want where first, and then thought of ways to get them there second, the shows would be much better. It wouldn't be the ideal company, but it would be better. There would actually be a tag team division.

With cheap heat. Not exactly the hardest thing to do. They should put him under a mask and call him "The Happy Arab", where he goes around hugging people, filling their cars with free gas, "terrorizing" them with flowers and candy.

A Benoit/JBL feud over the US title would work perfectly, and would make a lot of sense. Zuh?

I've been sour on Firefly for a while now. But I watched the episode where Safron and Mal steal the laser gun and the charm of the show came back.

Mal-content vindicated by big-screen break Edmonton's Nathan Fillion is Serenity's leading man Liz Nicholls The Edmonton Journal EDMONTON - Operative: It's worse than you know. Captain Mal Reynolds: It usually is. -- Joss Whedon's Serenity You figure it would take a lot to flummox Captain Mal, a man of deadpan wit whose worst suspicions about everything keep getting confirmed as he shepherds his spaceship through the lawless extremities of the firmament. Even world-weary Mal, however, might be jarred out of the cog of his low expectations by the route that has brought a cancelled Fox TV sci-fi western series called Firefly to a major Hollywood incarnation on the big screen -- via an international cult following. The anti-leading man leading man of Serenity, coming to theatres near you Sept. 30 with TV cast intact, is a handsome, good-natured, eminently civilized 34-year-old from the improv cauldron of Edmonton. He's Nathan Fillion, poised for stardom if there are any laws at all, even probability, in the movie industry. "Yes, vindication is the word; it's very vindicating,"says Fillion of the $45-million big-screen adventure which reassembles the Firefly team, right down to the makeup artists. Fillion is musing on the chain of events whereby a well-written, highly original series -- by Joss Whedon, the renegade talent who created Buffy The Vampire Slayer -- got neglected by Fox, relegated to bad time-slots, then dumped after 11 episodes in 2002. "So depressing, so discouraging," sighs Fillion. "I don't even know the why-fors. But somebody said that the life of Firefly, fighting a losing war and trying to survive, was very much like what it's actually about." Set in a bleak future 500 years hence, the series and now the movie track life on the lam: on a transport ship that's seen better days, a family of mercenaries and misfits, outsiders, eke out an existence on the violent fringes of the universe. They're led by a captain who's ended up on the wrong side of a galactic civil war against ominously Orwellian forces, The Alliance. "Adam Baldwin (who plays Jayne, one of Mal's crew) said to me that, sure, he's always disappointed when a series gets cancelled; he wants to work. But he's never heartbroken the way we were when Firefly got cancelled. ..." "It's the feeling you get when you're getting the run-around and you know it ... when someone's not dealing straight with you." Fillion, who's back in Edmonton to hang with his folks and his older bro (two English teachers and a school principal, respectively), warms to his subject. "Any time art and business meet, the art is going to lose out, that's been my experience." There is, perhaps, a grassroots lesson for the chilly post-9/11 world and its Mals: Fox could yank an off-centre series, but it couldn't make it lie down and die. The loyal fans, the self-styled Browncoats, wouldn't allow it. They launched websites. They bought a million copies of the DVD. Fillion went to a sci-fi convention in London, and Firefly DVDs sold out, even though the show had never aired there. That kind of measurable popularity speaks Hollywood-ese. Universal bought the rights and hired Whedon. And Whedon reassembled his forces. Fillion, he told Entertainment Weekly, "is Harrison Ford. He can do romantic comedy, thrillers, drama -- and does all those in my movie." And now the nice guy from Mill Woods is an action figure. Fillion laughs. "He's sitting on the hutch in my dining room. It's me -- in my space boots, green pants, long duster, a gun." And he's on a comic book cover, drawn by well-known artist John Cassady for Whedon's Dark Horse Comics, part of a trilogy designed to bridge the gap between the end of Firefly and the start of Serenity. Fillion's is a story with a certain oddball Edmonton-style logic. He played TheatreSports, that loopy improvised entertainment where performers create from audience clues. He did a couple of David Belkes, including The Maltese Bodkin, a Shakespeare spoof where he played five characters including Iago. He did the Soap-A-Thon, the Varscona's Guinness-busting marathon, as a French condo manager with an outrageous accent. He did a season of Die-Nasty, as farmer/poet Howie McChuckski. And suddenly, at 23, Fillion was sudsing it up in New York, on the ABC daytime soap One Life To Live, as heartthhrob Joey Buchanan, who arrived back from Italy, said "Buona sera, Poppa" to his dad, and set fans palpitating. Fillion's intro to L.A. was ... Steven Spielberg. He was "the wrong Ryan" in Saving Private Ryan. Since then, "work begets work," he says of a resume that includes Two Guys, A Girl And A Pizza Place, and the five-episode Buffy finale. Recently he's been in Vancouver shooting Slither, a horror flick with a whiff of Shaun Of The Dead in the premise. Fillion plays the chief of police in a backwater South Carolina town where nothing criminal ever happens. "I just mope around, supervising the school crosswalk, chasing deer out of people's yards ... and all of a sudden there's an alien infestation." "Offers come along, but it's not like people are knocking on my door saying 'we need you for this part'," says Fillion modestly. A premiere awaits that could change all that. What he likes about Serenity is that, "yes, they're on a space ship. But it's a show about the people, who they are, how they relate to each other.... Joss Whedon is never guilty of two-by-four writing. You glean knowledge; you learn about characters from what they say, what they do. "My wish is that Serenity does so well, it makes Hollywood think we should be investing in people like Joss, who know how to tell a story. We don't need to spend $180 million on a movie. It's clever witty writing that keeps you invested." Mal, a case in point, is a man steeped in irony. "He's not one to panic; he's seen too much," he says. "He doesn't have a fire within him. But there's a lot of anger. He'll fight when it's not prudent. He gets beat up all the time; he gets clobbered but he won't lie down. He'll cheat and steal to survive." Similarly, the vision of the future explodes the notion of progress. "It's the same as now. It's about money, greed, power. Governments are terrible. Life continues. We're in space because we ran out of room. There are no aliens, just us," says Fillion, who's already been at six preview screenings, held to reward the patience of die-hard fans who made Serenity happen. "I've always fantasized about being on TV. And I was. Then I fantasized about being in the movies. What could be better than captain of a space ship? I get to ride horses, shoot guns, have adventures ... ." It's a dream that couldn't possibly be schemed

I say have the secret be the family recipe to Mysterios special cornbread.

But, but, but... Tomko dusted the dirt off Christians shoulder. DOESN'T THAT MEAN ANYTHING TO YOU!??!

Who says someone breaks the hold? You could have Masters (and this sickens me to say) go all the way up to Cena undefeated in his Masterlock challenge and -in the match- have Cena work on Masters' arm(s), so that when Masters attempts to put the lock on, Cena breaks free and hits the FU.

That would be SUCH an improvement. It would advertise Velocity matches and explain how things get moved around. Awesome.

And I totally agree with the theme music. When they do things like that (make something that is supposed to be spontaneous be planned) it sorta takes you out of the moment. Ditto when they have sudden matches, as if the GMs would be so unresponsible as to leave open several 10 minute blocks of time. Teddy Long telling Eddie that his just-scheduled opponent will be a "secret" is incredibly unprofessional and I simply don't buy it.