sfaJack

Another reason for me to be upset about the Cubs' getting bounced from the playoffs this past Saturday night: I (stupidly) had promised sfaJill that, after the Cubs had completed their World Series run, we would begin work on painting and re-doing our guest bathroom (sans the bubble towels we she registered for but didn't get as a wedding gift) before moving on to the rest of the house. Barely three hours after the Cubs lost on Saturday, she turns to me and says, "We should go buy some paint tomorrow." Oh, goody. A little backstory: I bought/built the house four years ago because I'd grown weary of both apartment life and renting and basically haven't done anything to it in regards to decoration since then (i.e. all the walls inside are white and there isn't much of anyting hanging on them to liven the place up a little bit). I'm fine with it. Every room is furnished with nice stuff and there isn't much clutter clogging things up. I also kept the place pretty neat and tidy, as is my nature. sfaJill, however, is not fine with it. And that is where the conflict lies. She HATES the plain white walls and the nice, neat way I had things organized. Apparently, the house doesn't look "lived in" enough and is "boring." Whatever. I've been successfully delaying this whole remodeling thing since she moved in last December, but now I'm out of excuses that she will accept. So, yesterday, we spent two hours of prime football watching time wandering around Lowes. We picked out shades of blue, green, brown, and "sand" color paints. We looked at new light fixtures, towel rods, shower heads, etc. She tried to start picking out stuff for our bathroom (which we are going to pay someone to overhaul), our bedroom, and the kitchen, but I was able to put the kibosh on that by convincing her that we should probably just start with the guest bath and see what happens from there. $300 later, we returned home with paint, a new light fixture, shower head, two towel rods, a paper holder, and a whole list of other crap she wants for other rooms. Now...do I know anything about electrical wiring and/or hanging a light fixture? No. Do I know how to take apart a toilet so we can paint behind it? No. I should be able to change out the shower head, but is it likely to take me less than hour's worth of cursing and breaking shit before I get it right? No. I have painted before and do a pretty good job at it, but it's a tedious chore I'd rather just skip. Plus, I just know that if there is the slightest hint of a streak in any area I paint, I will be asked to do it again. This should be fun!

Yeah. I haven't been there much for a few months now though.

Go Cowboys! 3-1-1 is better than 3-2.

.194 .087 37 6 What are these numbers? They are a quick summary of how completely incompetent the Cubs were against the Arizona Diamondbacks in their NLDS series that ended last night in a 3-0 Arizona sweep. .194 = the Cubs' batting average for the series .087 = their batting average with runners in scoring position (2-for-23), and one of those two was a weak infiled single 37 = the numbers of baserunners they had in the series 6 = the number of those baserunners that scored How do you lose a playoff series and look completely pathetic in doing so? That's a really good start. It also helps to have two of your biggest bats (Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez) combine for two hits, your best reliever over the second-half of the season implode, and to hit into about 14 rally-killing double plays. I really don't know why I thought this year might be different for the Cubs. Maybe I'll never learn. Still...being swept in the first round is a better end to the season than finishing with the worst record in the league as they did last year. At least that's what I've been telling myself for the last 12 hours...

During these long, hot Texas summers, what better way to beat the heat than to buy a vehicle with air conditioned seats? ---------------------------- There isn't one single goddamn radio station in this town that is carrying the MLB playoffs. I mean, seriously--what the FUCK is up with that? We have FOUR sports radio stations in this town (including an ESPN radio affiliate) and not one of them can pick up even the shitty Westwood One network calls of the games? Christ. I knew I should have taken the rest of this afternoon off. ---------------------------- So I just got this invitation through the mail here at work from something called the "Houston Energy & Finance Forum." I've never heard of it, but apparently they know who I am ( ) because I've been invited to attend some luncheon/seminar they're hosting next Wednesday at the Hyatt downtown. The topic? Building a career and a life, which apparently means they're going to speak about integrating my professional, personal, and spiritual life into one big harmonious pile of crap. I'm not sure I want to know who thought this up or what the purpose is. What I would like to know is how they got my name because, after discussing this with a co-worker and asking a few individuals around the floor, it looks like I might be the only one invited to this thing. Nobody else seems to know anything about it. There hasn't even been some lame company-wide e-mail sent out informing us of this prestigious event. Oh, wait, what's this? Does it say here that the CEO of my company is part of the host committee? The same CEO that I've never met and whom probably wouldn't know who I was if I walked up and punched him in the face right now? Or...wait. Does he actually know who I am and is fully expecting me to attend this thing? Have I been put on some sort of "rising star" list around here (just as one co-worker/partial supervisor has been saying for months) that requires me to go to things like this? Should I ignore it completely? Should I call them to say I'm not coming? Should I go and indulge in a free lunch? I have no clue. And I have no idea what to do.

I think the only things I learned in the one journalism course I took back in the day were to try and squeeze the 5 W's into your first paragraph and the importance of an enticing headline.

It's funny how the NBA has been mostly a "cable-only" league for years and you've barely heard a word of bitching about it from Greenberg or anyone else. But then again, nobody cares about the NBA anymore so maybe I have no point.

What a game last night between the Rockies and Padres to decide the NL wild card. I missed the ending because my need to get some sleep before work today forced me to go to bed...after the 12th inning (of course!). Another 15 minutes or so and I would have seen one hell of an ending. Nevertheless, here are my official, non-scientific, mostly off-the-top-of-my-head picks for the MLB playoffs. I normally don't do these but since the Cubbies are in this year, I figure what the hell. Feel free to mock when I'm wrong about every single series: NATIONAL LEAGUE: NLDS: Chicago Cubs v. Arizona Diamondbacks The Cubs have the NL's best record since June and possibly the strongest rotation of any NL playoff team. Arizona's success this year is a mystery; 14th in the league in runs scored and a -20 run differential for the year really shouldn't translate to 90 wins, but here they are. The Dbacks bullpen is solid, partly evidenced by their exceptional record in 1-run games. The Dbacks also won the season series 4-2. What does all of that mean? I don't know. You could dig up all the stats in the world to show why Arizona is better than the Cubs and it wouldn't stop me from picking the CUBS in 4. NLDS: Colorado Rockies v. Philadelphia Phillies The Rockies' rotation and bullpen is better than most people think and they're carrying a ton of momentum into the playoffs, having finished the season on a 14-1 roll. The Phillies squeaked past the Mets to get in (yeah!) and also bring a lot of momentum into the playoffs, finishing on a 16-7 roll themselves. Does season-ending momentum matter in the playoffs? Not really (see: Tigers v. Cardinals, 2006 World Series). What matters here is that these two teams led the National League in runs scored for the season and are capable of putting double-digits on the board at any time. However, given that the Rockies' bullpen does not completely suck, I'm going to pick the ROCKIES in 5. NLCS: Colorado Rockies v. Chicago Cubs CUBS in 6 AMERICAN LEAGUE: ALDS: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim v. Boston Red Sox The Angels posted the best home record in all of baseball. Unfortunately, they don't have home field in this series, so who cares? Angels were 4th in the league in runs scored (822), just behind Boston (867). Angels finished 5th in the league in team ERA; Boston was 1st. The Angels have Vlad Guerrero and Garrett Anderson; Boston trumps them with Manny Ramirez/David Ortiz. Mike Scioscia's a better manager than Terry Francona but the Angels' lack of a high-priced, Japanese hired gun hurts them. But at least they have the "good" Weaver brother. On a bright note, the Angels did average nearly 5,000 more asses in the seats per game this season--that has to count for something other than extra bucks in the owner's pockets, right? Wrong. The Rally Monkey's gonna have to work some overtime. RED SOX in 5. ALDS: New York Yankees v. Cleveland Indians Too bad the Indians blew their chance at having the AL's best record; the chance to possibly start C.C. Sabathia and Fausto Carmona twice each in this series would really help them knock the EVIL~! Yankees out of this race and spare us all the horror of watching yet another Yankees/Red Sox ALCS. Instead, we'll have to hope that the Tribe can hold down the Yankees' vaunted offense long enough to take advantage of NY's mediocre pitching, featuring a washed-up Roger Clemens in Game 3, and win a few games. Cleveland's 0-6 mark against the Yankees this year would suggest that might be asking a bit much, but I'll pick them anyway because I'm sick of the Yankees and want them out of the way as soon as possible. INDIANS in 5. ALCS: Cleveland Indians v. Boston Red Sox INDIANS in 7 WORLD SERIES: Chicago Cubs v. Cleveland Indians Nothing against the Indians, but I pick the Cubs to win the Series every year. Chicago Cubs in 5.

Have I missed something? Why does Arthur Blank deserve a big 'fuck you' from Schaub for trading him? I seriously doubt Schaub is upset about being traded and becoming the #1 guy in Houston, especially since he was still #2 in Atlanta at the time of the trade. The trade made sense for both the Falcons and Schaub at the time.

The Cowboys looked damn good in crushing the Bears last night. Tony Romo looked like a top 3 quarterback once again in shredding the vaunted Chicago defense. With his performance last night, I have to finally admit that my crush on Romo and his awesome playmaking ability has turned into full blown man love. Romo can flat out play and anyone who was convinced that the botched snap in Seattle last year would ruin him has been proven wrong. Watch him any time he makes a mistake--he just shakes it off and goes out and does something to make up for it. A few Cowboy thoughts: - The defense is still shaky without Terence Newman fully healthy, but at least they finally had something resembling a pass rush last night. Maybe they're coming around. - Patrick Crayton shouldn't be playing if his broken finger is going to prevent him from catching easy touchdowns, but with Sam Hurd showing some skill, his absence might not be as noticeable. - Marion Barber is a beast. If only he had a little more speed. - Ken Hamlin is a big upgrade over Keith Davis. - The Leonard Davis signing isn't the "worst move of the offseason" as some pundits were saying. Yeah, he's overpaid but he's so much better than Marco Rivera's corpse was that it's worth the $$$. - I still don't like T.O. and all the baggage he brings to a team, but at least he's catching the ball and making plays this year. - Jason Witten is no longer the best kept secret in the NFL. Jeremy Shockey and Antonio Gates are good, but they ain't Jason Whitten. - Terry Glenn isn't even playing yet. Once he gets back, look out. - There's a decent chance the Cowboys and Patriots will be 5-0 when they meet Oct. 14 in Dallas. In the four years we've had Cowboys season tickets, I don't think I've ever been more excited about attending a particular game. One thing: if my 23 years of experience rooting for the Cubs have taught me nothing else, I have learnved to never get too excited until the season plays itself out. But if you wanted me to make an argument that the Cowboys are not the class of the NFC at this point in time, I'd have a hard time doing so. One note on the referees, Ron White and his crew from last night should be, if not outright fired, suspended for a couple of weeks. At the very least they should not collect their paychecks for this week. What a horribly officiated game. For all the blustering and cracking down that Roger Goodell is doing on everything else around the league, why are the referees allowed to continue to be this shitty without some real measure of discipline? Get on it, Commish.

That little bit before halftime was just part of it. There was also the earlier "block in the back" on Jason Whitten that shouldn't have been called, one offensive pass interference call on Owens that shouldn't have been made, failure to call horse collar tackles on Chicago not once but TWICE, and a couple of defensive pass interference calls on the Bears that they should have made since they called T.O. for the same shit earlier. None of those transgressions affected the outcome of the game in the long run. But still. There ought to be some sort of punishment for the officials, other than a stern "You guys messed up; do better next time!" from the league.

One of my top fantasy babes from my younger days, Alicia Silverstone, wants us to go vegetarian. This article claims that Houston and Dallas-Fort Worth were chosen for the rollout of PETA’s latest campaign because we are perennially near the top of those fattest city surveys. Whatever. I’ve never taken much of what PETA does seriously because they’re so over the top with how they choose to get their message out, but if Alicia Silverstone is getting naked for this particular cause, I’m willing to listen. I tried accessing the video of the commercial from work and got a message saying it was blocked by our firewall. Apparently peta.org has been classified as "Advocacy Groups, Tasteless/Gross". I chuckled. ------------------------------ This morning, on the door inside the men’s room on our floor, some joker posted a copy of an article that claims that 33% of men do not wash their hands after going to the bathroom (only 12% of women do not). This figure was obtained after “extensive observation of over 6,000 people in four major cities” over the past couple of months. Doctors everywhere are outraged at this news though I’m not sure why. I’ve seen tons of guys not wash their hands afterwards over the years that frankly I’m shocked it’s only at 33%. Other “do not wash” findings (for both sexes) from the article: 44% after petting a cat or dog 39% after coughing/sneezing 56% after handling money 22% after changing diapers 9% before handling food I’ll admit that I’m often guilty on the petting cat/dog and handling money charges and even sometimes on the coughing/sneezing, but I rarely touch food with unclean hands. The diaper changing thing doesn’t apply to me since I have and will continue to do anything necessary to avoid that chore, but who are the nasty bastards that make up that 22%? ------------------------------ Finally, a big “CONGRATULATIONS” is due my company’s management. It took some hard work, but they found another little perk to yank away from us when we were least expecting it. Last week, it was announced that our on-site fitness center is closing at the end of the year. The company-sponsored discount membership program we have had with the YMCA is also being canned. The reason given is “cost considerations.” Apparently, management is contending that the member base isn’t big enough to support the ongoing costs of the fitness center. One well-placed source told me that our real estate group claims to have “many studies” that show each member would have to pay out an extra $5,000 a year in order for the center to break even. If that’s true, then I need to polish the ol’ resume because this company is going to be led into bankruptcy by a bunch of idiots that clearly have no idea how to manage money. The fitness center is small in size and has a grand total of four company employees (as opposed to expensive outside contractors) on staff and is housed in a building on a campus this company has owned outright for over 30 years. There is simply no way the it is that expensive to operate. One of the members started a “save the fitness center” petition and posted it at the check-in desk there. Management found out and ordered that the petition be scrapped immediately or there could be consequences for creating disharmony in the work environment. Hmmm. Would that be the same sort of disharmony they created when they suddenly decided to close the fitness center for questionable reasons?

Ed Wade is in town, having been called back for a second interview by the Astros for their GM opening. He's the only candidate to be called back for a second interview, and is expected to be offered the job today.

It's got to be insurance or something similar. But even still, an extra 5 G's a year from each member is a hell of a lot of dough. I just can't buy their story. As for perks, honestly we probably aren't any better (or worse) off than most other employees elsewhere. I'm probably just annoyed about the fitness center becasue it's one that I use constantly and very much enjoy having around. And for all the blustering management does every year (i.e. at health benefits enrollment time) about how it's important for us to take care of our health and help keep the company's medical costs from getting completely out of hand, it's ironic that they've chosen to yank away one of the easiest ways for us to do that.

Just what the title says. The month of September can just kiss my ass and go away already. Between sfaJill (TM kkk) needing an emergency appendectomy back on the 4th, having the A/C in my truck (a necessity down here) become mostly non-functional two days after that (after just buying new tires and shocks/brakes for it last month), and my mom finally losing her battle with cancer on the 10th, it’s been one fucked up month. But at least the Cubs are clinging to first place and the Cowboys are 2-0. And we had a nice vacation in the lovely communist utopia of Massachusetts (more on that in another blog). Problem is, I feel like I need another one even though this is only the seventh day I’ve actually been in the office since August 22.

She's dead. You got a reading comprehension problem, n*gga?

*sniff sniff* I think I'm gonna cry. To finally be recognized for never doing anything worthy of recognition, well, it's just a little...overwhelming. I don't even know what to say except, thank you, kkk. Thank you. *sobbing uncontrollably*

So the Astros fired both Phil Garner and general manager Tim Purpura earlier this week. Cecil Cooper took over managerial duties last night but fared no better as the Cardinals beat down the Astros 7-0. Most people here were caught by surprise--not because they got fired, but rather because it happened at such an odd point in the season. Personally, I don't see much use in letting them go with only 31 games left in what is a lost season, but since Drayton McLane does what Drayton McLane wants to do, they are gone. That leaves the question of what happens now. The Astros are a horrible team with few big time prospects ready to go in the minors. There is very little reason to think that they're suddenly going to return to contention next year with or without Garner and/or Purpura so, really, it seems to be an empty move. I guess they did it so they can tell their fans "See! We're doing something about it!", but until they commit to no longer trotting out mediocre (at best) talents like Adam Everett, Brad Ausmus, Luke Scott, etc., their bottom-dwelling days likely aren't over. Then again the Astros are only 3-9 against the Pirates this year. That fact alone is probably enough to get anyone fired. --------------------- Rafer Alston isn't handling his transition to the unemployment line very well. A pro athlete got arrested after an altercation at a night club? I'm shocked. At least there wasn't any gun play involved. I think the rule states there has to be a strip club involved before you can open fire though. --------------------- The wife and I leave tomorrow morning for a long weekend in Boston. I'm excited. For one, it means we're getting the hell out of this town for a few days. Secondly, the furthest I've ever traveled north and east in this country is Washington D.C., so this will be new territory for me. I'm sure we'll hit a lot of the touristy shit that everyone does, like the Cheers bar, that Freedom Trail, Paul Revere's old house, etc., along with soaking up the sights and sounds of a new city. Plus she wants to go on a whale-watching harbor tour. That should be a nice six hours of my life. And I'll probably have to get on one of those swan boats. I don't know. The highlight for me though will be the Red Sox and Orioles game on Sunday at Fenway Park. Fenway will be the eighth different MLB park I've been to and has always been #2 on my list of parks I've most wanted to visit. Our seats are in the Loge box (section 137) which should give a good view. Dice-K is scheduled to pitch for the Sox, so that's a nice bonus. Daniel Cabrera is supposed to throw for the O's; I wish it was Erik Bedard instead, but we rarely get everything we want in life. The worst part about this vacation thing is getting through today. I have a BAD case of vacation-itis and totally don't care about any of the work on my desk today. It's only 9:10 and I'm already dying to go home. Maybe I'll take the afternoon off...

Astros have a press conference called for 2:00 local time to announce that both Tim Purpura and Phil Garner have been fired.

...might be the worst driver on this planet. At the very least, she jumped way up in both polls last night. Maybe it was just aggression from the bad day she had. Maybe she really just didn't see that one stop sign that was kind of hidden by an overhanging branch. Maybe the one guy that pulled out in front of her is just a dumbass. And maybe I should just count my blessings because there was no accident and nobody got hurt. But still, I think I'd have been less horrified if we'd just wiped out a truck full of puppies and gone back home.

The Cowboys shut off alcohol sales at the end of the 3rd quarer. Not sure if it's a league policy, though. That's all I got.

Former Rocket Eddie Griffin was killed in a car-train accident last week. Anyone who followed Eddie Griffin knew he was headed for an early death, though I figured it would have been from a gunshot. At least he wasn't watching porn and masturbating when he ran into the train. One question does come to mind though: if his body was so badly burned that it took dental records to identify him, then how can there be a toxicology report? Wouldn't all of that evidence be destoryed in the fire? Someone who watches one of those 20 different CSI shows help a brotha out.... ----------------------------- Here's a shock: Americans don't read. Personally, I think I read 4 or 5 books last year, which I guess puts me about average. In my youth, I read a lot more than I do now (most of the Hardy Boys books, for instance), but reading hasn't appealed to me much since I was forced to ead way too many uninteresting books in college. I just got burned out in those years and haven't ever felt the urge to start reading again. Well, except for the Internet. The Internet is always fascinating. I'm sure the amount of time I've wasted just at TSM alone over the years is enough to put me in the "avid reader" category. If this sort of crap counted. Sadly, it's gotten me nothing but weird looks from my girlfriend/fiance/wife when she asks what I'm reading and I respond "a pro wrestling messageboard on the Internet." At least the headline wasn't "1 in 4 Adults CAN'T Read". Yet. I'm sure if we give the Democrats enough time to fuck up public education we'll get there eventually. Although, to be fair, W. and his gang haven't done much better in that regard.

Seconded, especially when she starts throwing in the fifteenth bit of unnecessary detail into every part of the story.

So, uh, yesterday the rain from tropical depression Erin hit much of south and central Texas with lots of rain, including us good folks here in Houston. Dozens of surface roads, underpasses, and even one of the freeways (Hwy 288) were closed due to high water all around. A couple hundred idiots who should know by now not to drive through the water when you can't see the road beneath were forced to abandon their cars. Poor people all around town ended up at the shelters and ended up on the news crying for help because they got a little bit of water in their yards. One homeless lady stuck under a bridge did have to be rescued though. That's not good. But forget all that flooding and shit. The highlight of the day for me, easily, was around 11:30 yesterday morning. That's when we heard a somewhat loud boom outside the building here and then...THE LIGHTS WENT OUT. All around the office, printers stopped spitting out paper, desk radios that had been turned up to unreasonable volumes were silent, and computer screens went blank, depriving dozens of workers of the porn they were looking at. A lightning strike had hit a transformer in the area and blown the power to the whole area. It was pandemonium. Or not. Actually, other than a few "Oh my Gods!" from a few of the more exciteable folks around here, it was pretty calm. Most of the people here spent the next 2 hours gathered out by the elevators, bonding over awkward conversation and a round of singing by a few of our more shameless co-workers under the soft glow of emergency lighting. Me? I stretched out in the two chairs in my cube and took a nap. Why go out there and hang with them when I can catch a few winks? After a couple of hours of having us just sit around in the dark with nothing to do, management sent us home for the day since they were told we'd have no power for "several more hours" by the light company. I'm sure the lost productivity killed them, but what choice did they have? So I braved the rain and made it home in time to squeeze in a couple games of Madden 08 before the wife arrived home and killed the fun. Oh well. It was a good day while it lasted. The bad news is that the real fun has just begun. Hurricane Dean is projected to enter the Gulf of Mexico early next week and make landfall anywhere from the Yucatan Peninsula to Houston. Of course, despite there being several hundred miles between those two points, the news crews have already started "gather up all your valuable shit, go into the closet nearest the center of your house, and duck and cover your head because Dean is going to be our armageddon" mode. Sigh. We'll see what actually happens. I'm not worried; George Bush has his ranch here so he wouldn't let us get destroyed, would he?

Tropical Storm depresssion Erin is bearing down on the south Texas coast. According to our local TV weatherpersons (OMG political correctness~!), those of us in the Houston metro area (200+ miles north of the storm's landfall) should brace for the imminent death and destruction this storm will surely bring. Oh, wait. What's that? It's actually just going to rain a lot over the next couple of days? Get the fuck out of here with all that stupid KATRINA WAS A VERY REAL TRAGEDY THAT COULD HAPPEN TO US TOO bullshit. In other tropics news, Hurricane Dean continues to head for the Yucatan Peninsula. Barring a change of course, landfall is expected there sometime early next week. Good to know that George Bush hates Mexicans, too. ----------------------- For the second time in three months, a Saudi guy had his snakes confiscated at the Cairo airport. I've flown out of the Cairo airport. Maybe it was because it was about 3 in the morning when we were boarding my particular flight or maybe it was because the flight was headed to Amsterdam (instead of the U.S.) and security didn't think the terrorists would be interested in jihading a plane that wasn't likely have a lot of Americans on board, but security was not too concerned with checking anything or anybody too closely. Every time the metal detector went off, they'd wave you through. No carry-ons were opened, no liquids were banned from the flight--yet they've confiscated two bags full of snakes in three months. Weird. ----------------------- This guy's stunt got a chuckle out of me but I doubt he'd find it funny if his tenants decided to pay him in change to protest his high rental rates. ----------------------- Wait--scam artists use the Internet to carry out their schemes?? I'm SHOCKED. This world has gotten pretty bad when you can't even safely travel to an African nation and meet with a total stranger who said she loves you and has promised to pay you $85,000 in gold if you come rescue her from her hellhole of a homeland anymore.