I'm bored.....

[Guest Leena]

Yeah, it's hard being The Spoon.

 

Of course, you can sympathize, being The Dames and all. You're holding it down in the Northeast while I cover the Southeast.

 

I've already brought da shit up in the Northeast, and now I'm taking your territory. Oh well.

 

The Alina - Controllin' the entire east coast

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

Heyyy... I'm not *that* white!

 

... I have freckles, too, y'know.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

See, here's a white girl who knows how to hold it down. I don't know about the WHOLE East coast, seeing as how I'm on it and all.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

I bet Alina can't pose and spit members of the LDS church, ...right?

 

(*now leaving the thread*)

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

LDS church? The hell?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest TheRockIsTheEuropeanChampion]

To repeat:

 

I'll hold down, ... uhm, Utah... But only if I can be like HHH.

 

(*poses, spits mormons*)

 

I am so ghey.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Hrm. Odd how the first post didn't say that. Oh well.

 

(goes back to writing, he keeps getting distracted)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest crandamaniac]

Damn.

 

Looks like I get to play enforcer, while you hold everything down.

 

::Holds up four fingers, before realizing what he is doing and puts his hand down::

*realizes there's another North Carolinian posting here*

 

Wow

[Guest Sandman9000]

Technically, I'm a Maineah, but I go to skewl in NC. Since Maine blows nuts, I consider myself a North Carolinan.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

I don't drink much, I have alcoholism in my family from my fathers side.

 

I have alcoholism in my family, so I don't drink AT ALL. I won't say I haven't been tempted before, but I don't want to open Pandora's Box.

 

Oh yeah, who gave you guys permission to divvy shit up?

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

My father was a drunk and claims to not remember any of 1988, but I find that I can control myself very well when I party.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

I don't even want to start drinking because after the first drink, I can't say that I don't drink anymore. Once that happens, what's going to keep me from the second and third drink?

[Guest Cancer Marney]

I never want just one drink, I want twenty. And I almost always have them.

[Guest Sandman9000]

I've willingly done stupid shit to myself sober. I don't want to know what I'll do drunk.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

I just say dumb things and come on to people who hate me.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I get hoarse from talking so much. I also pick a target and stay on one person all night, but remind them I've got nothing but love for them and my jabs are all good-hearted.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest DrTom]

I just say dumb things and come on to people who hate me.

Don't forget that you curse like a sailor with Tourette's, talk like a Valley Girl, and have a penchant for calling people well past midnight for no discernible reason at all.

[Guest Cancer Marney]

And I tell you I can give better head than your girlfriend, and how.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(walks into thread, hears the conversation, whistles an indeterminable tune, turns back around, and walks out of the thread)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[The Dames]

Dames,

 

What kinds of fruity drinks? My favourites in that genre are strawberry daiquiris and Kir royales.

I'm a big fan of the Fuzzy Navel, which is basically Peachtree (a form of liquor) and OJ.

 

Funny story. The first time I ever had it, I was at a kareoke bar in CT. I was really nervous about singing and so my friend bought me a drink, even though he knows I rarely drink. To not insult him, I drank it...actually, I downed it because it tastes great and you can barely taste the alcohol. We performed In The End by Linkin Park (I did the singing, he did the rapping) and we got a Standing Ovation.

 

Next time I was at a pool hall, same one I just came from actually, and there was this REALLY pretty waitress and she kept coming back and forth to my table for what seemed like no reason. After some small talk, I ordered a Fuzzy Navel...which turned out to be 5.50. Damn. I gave her a three dollar tip of off it though. Am I a sucker for a hot waitress? Sure.

 

Now, the last time I had it was at a club. The club was an 18 and over club in New Paltz, NY. I normally don't go to clubs, but my close friend (Viva La Poop) was being set up with a girl in a group setting and I tagged along to try and help him along that night because he's incredibly shy. So, I walk in.....and since I'm 22, I got THE STAMP~! which no one else got. Naturally, the first thing I did was walk over to the bar and I said "Peachtree and Orange Juice", which is how I always order it. The guy said "Just say a Fuzzy Naval"....I didn't know. So, he brings me two cups....and I said "I just wanted one". "It's two for one before midnight". "GREAT! How much?" "Four dollars". So, I got double the drink for less than I normally pay for it. I downed it quick and got two more and downed those quickly too. I was LOVELY after that. Actually danced with some random girls that I've never met and probably never will see again.

 

Dames

[The Dames]

I've already brought da shit up in the Northeast, and now I'm taking your territory. Oh well.

 

The Alina - Controllin' the entire east coast

Damn, thats another 2 gimmicks you've taken from me.

 

.....and I run the Northeast.

 

Dames

[The Dames]

And I tell you I can give better head than your girlfriend, and how.

.....I so read that wrong. I don't even know if the way I read it was worse....

 

I thought you mean that you can go down on a girl better than he does. If THAT's the case, which I'm sure, you mind sharing some tips? I think I'm pretty decent in that respect, but I know I'm outmatched by the ladies.

 

Dames

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

I'd like to note that Dames's posts are always hilarious because of the oh-so-subtle "Dames" at the end. I had to go and be the catalyst for a disease with my tagline.

 

Dames, will the board kill me for Part III not having the payoff they all want in the Washington story?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[The Dames]

Spoon, I've been signing as Dames for YEARS.....I'm just used to putting "last words" next to them and now that I don't, it just feels like I should.

 

Eh, a vacation with no pay off.....I wouldn't buy the DVD.

 

Dames

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Ah, you misunderstand, Part III itself lacks the payoff that people want, that being the date with Erica. Folk like Kinetic are getting quite impatient.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Kinetic]

Why haven't you asked Metal Ed a question yet, Dames? The hour is upon us.

[The Dames]

Sheck jour email, meng.

[Guest Midnight Express83]

As for holding it down, since I do in fact live in Stamford, CT. I hold down North America.

 

As for the sig, I am goin to change it soon. I am working on new banners. So it will completely change. My holy trinity will be complete.

 

As to stay on topic:

Dames: If Who was Jim Niedhart, then Who was the Anvil?

[Guest Cancer Marney]

.....I so read that wrong.  I don't even know if the way I read it was worse....

It can be read either way. When I said it, I was drunk enough to mean that I could give him better head than his girlfriend did, which made him crack up completely over the phone. I think he was laughing in frustration because he knew I'd never really do it. But I'm absolutely certain I also go down on a girl better than he does. Better than any man. Because I know what feels good and why. And there's no substitute for that. None. You penis-providers will always come second there.

 

you mind sharing some tips?  I think I'm pretty decent in that respect, but I know I'm outmatched by the ladies.

You are, and I'm going to keep it that way, meng. No tips. I like being told that I'm "better than anyone [she's] ever had before." And since everyone knows it's true, it gives more girls an incentive to turn gay, or at least to give it a shot. Which in turn increases my playing field, at least until May.

 

Back to the questions now.

 

Dames,

 

What's the correction on your glasses? And have you ever considered laser?

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I don't even want to start drinking because after the first drink, I can't say that I don't drink anymore. Once that happens, what's going to keep me from the second and third drink?

Bunch of drunks in my family, too. I don't drink often at all, but when I do, I'm gettin' belligerent. Jagermeister fun time.