The One And Only 2003 SmartMark

[Guest The Hollywood Fashion Plate]

OK, we're minutes away from the big event, and I'd just like to remind you to read the rules over once more if you haven't already. A link to them is in my sig. (Listen to the theme song too to get yourself pumped for the match! )

 

I'll be posting the introductions in a few moments. From now on, everything is kayfabe, unless it's prefaced by .:Out of Character:.

 

Slickster

[ChrisMWaters 0]

A man in black workout pants and a blue Superman Shield walks in, wearing a black leather jacket and sugnlasses as well. he has no hair, is about 5'10, and weighs about 225 pounds.

 

"Aaah, time to win this thing! The Superman of Wrestling, Chris Waters, has arrived!"

[Guest Banky]

Oooooh yeeaaaaa, this is happening tonight? Other plans arose - I forfeit. I'd maybe have stayed if you renamed it the Banky Edwards Royal Rumble. I'm too good for this shit. I'm out, word to my peeps, hit the music douches.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

<Crowd>(to Banky)YOUR A PUSS! YOUR A PUSS! YOUR A PUSS!

[Guest Banky]

<Crowd>(to Banky)YOUR A PUSS! YOUR A PUSS! YOUR A PUSS!

I am what I eat.

 

You all suck.

 

Fuck you all slowly up the rear.

 

I'm a winner.

 

I win this contest because I am better than the rest.

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Backstage, we see Corey Lazarus roaming around. He sees Chris Waters walking around, and then picks up a nearby trashcan and smashes Waters over the head with it.**

 

Fuck you and fuck your fucking life, you fucking fuck!

 

**Laz leaves the scene and goes back into the Team Ultraviolence dressing room, locking the door.**

[Guest bob_barron]

I'm gonna win the Royal Rumble because I'm BIZAAAAAAAAAAAAARE!

[ChrisMWaters 0]

**Backstage, we see Corey Lazarus roaming around. He sees Chris Waters walking around, and then picks up a nearby trashcan and smashes Waters over the head with it.**

 

Fuck you and fuck your fucking life, you fucking fuck!

 

**Laz leaves the scene and goes back into the Team Ultraviolence dressing room, locking the door.**

Waters gets up slowly after this, rubbing his head.

 

"That's OK...massive retalliation..."

 

He reaches into his gym bag and pulls out a hard-hat to wear. "This should prevent further incidents like that from happening..."

[Guest The Hollywood Fashion Plate]

Ring Announcer(at midring): It is now time for the ROYAL RUMBLE MATCH!

 

Here are the rules: In a moment, those SamrtMarks who drew numbers 1 and 2 will enter, Then every 2 minutes thereafter, another SmartMarks will enter. You can only be eliminated by being thrown over the top rope and both feet touching the floor. The last one standing in the ring after all 30 SmartMarks have entered will be declared the winner.

 

Introducing first, the SmartMark who drew NUMBER ONE..

[Guest bob_barron]

Backstage we see Barron practising the power of the punch

[Guest Youth N Asia]

*looking over checklist*

 

Barbwire bat...CHECK

Thumbtacked Light tubes...CHECK

Knee and elbow pads with thumbtacks sticking out...CHECK

Stop Sign...CHECK

 

Wait a minute...where's my cactus?

[Guest RobJohnstone]

**RobJohnstone comes up behind ChrisMWaters and kicks him in the balls, then promptly leaves**

 

--Rob

[ChrisMWaters 0]

**RobJohnstone comes up behind ChrisMWaters and kicks him in the balls, then promptly leaves**

 

--Rob

*Is smart enough to wear a cup, and walks on.*

[Guest RobJohnstone]

**Rob Johnstone knocks out Bob Barron from behind with a safe deposit box, teabags Bob Barron, then leaves the arena for the night laughing**

 

--Rob

[ChrisMWaters 0]

:Out Of Character:

Um...Number 1? Where are you?

[Guest spiny norman]

Um.

 

I have a feeling this whole thing isn't going to plan, Slickster?

 

Maybe you should re-schedule it for 7:30 and IM all your competitors so they know what's going on?

[Guest The Hollywood Fashion Plate]

.: Out of Character:.

 

I guess he wasn't feeling fine and DANDY~! enough today, so I'm getting a replacement...

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**Hands YNA his cactus.**

 

Dude, seen my hockey stick?

[Guest AfricanAmerican]

Looks Like it's 7:02 and as promised someone's gonna get ghettofied!

 

:::makes way thru the curtain and into the ring:::

 

:::grabs mic:::

 

What the hell is this? Looks like the first 2 pussies found out i was comin out and got scared.

 

:::throws down mic, and waits for number 4:::

[Guest Youth N Asia]

**Hands YNA his cactus.**

 

Dude, seen my hockey stick?

The gimmicky one with razor wire? Yeah, it found its way to the mens room, I would have grabbed it, but my arms were full

[Guest AP Newswire]

*runs down the ramp, slides into the ring as #2 and begins brawling with AAmerican*

[Guest AfricanAmerican]

:::tries to fight off the attack to no avail... lowblows APNews then retreats to the corner to catch my breath:::

[Guest AP Newswire]

*hits a Clothesline from Hell on AAmerican, then whips him into the corner and does the Ten Punch Count Along*

[Guest CoreyLazarus416]

**looks at YNA**

 

No, the one with the daisies on it. YES THE ONE WITH THE BARBED WIRE! Why the fuck is it in the men's room?

[Guest Youth N Asia]

**looks at YNA**

 

No, the one with the daisies on it. YES THE ONE WITH THE BARBED WIRE! Why the fuck is it in the men's room?

Jesus tapdancing Christ! Why are you asking me where you leave your shit? Maybe you took a crap and just forgot about it.

[Guest AP Newswire]

*loses his footing after punch #8 and falls over the top rope, eliminating himself. He then throws a temper tantrum on the floor as the refs escort him to the back*

[Guest AfricanAmerican]

*hits a Clothesline from Hell on AAmerican, then whips him into the corner and does the Ten Punch Count Along*

:::lifts APN up at 8, causing him to fall over the top rope, thereby being eliminated:::

 

 

(wheres number 4 or 5 at?)

[Guest TheHulkster]

**TheHulkster watches closely on the backstage monitor while polishing his weight lifting belt*

[Guest y2jailbait]

::walks down to the ring, fashionably late, as number 2::

[Guest The Hollywood Fashion Plate]

*'Headstrong' hits as (#4) hits the ring. He hooks an armbar, whips AA into the ropes, and hiptosses him down. He then locks in a Stump Puller (for old time's sake).