Lockdown Predictions

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

Un Card Andalusia...

 

 

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

 

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

 

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

 

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

 

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

 

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

~ The promo beats Taamo in 3 seconds with schoolboy. MOTN.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

~ Ooh, I've liked Xero's promos recently, but B looks grand. The mysterious flamer with the win.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

~ Eh, Fugue seems to be... incognito, and Frost is my main in the man. I rented The Color of Money this weekend just for him. Go snowman go.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

~ A Dangerous title reign would be swank, but Janus is a tool (or instrument?) of destruction, yo. That Aussie guy with the W.

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

~ Craven/ELM pairing seems too random/sketchy. J & R better keep those belts too, because CCBB wants a fuckin' rematch, yo!

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

~ JD is scary, but if I can write the match that I want to write here... then be afraid, because it should be awesome. Oh hey, plus, I hate JD. It'll be quite the challenge though, so I better bring out my best skeelz.

Ooh goodie, looks to be quite the show...

[Guest Tod deKindes]

This should be "Lockdown Predictions"

 

Picks to come when I wake up in six to seven hours.

[janusd 0]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

~ The fans, because you know you love Taamo.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

~ Beezil, because the name reminds me of the Otherland series. And he's flaming.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

~ Frost. No two ways about it.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

~ Anyone's game. I'm gunning for myself, naturally. Time to bring the Equalizer©

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

~ JUSTICE AND RULE ALL TEH WAY BABY~!

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

~ TNT. He's dynamite~!

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

--Instead of giving a lavish promo about how he's finally reached the end of the King's Road, Flesher slams a fifth of Smirnoff before the show and comes out barking like a dog and doing Jagrmeister body shots off of some ring girls while he tries to sing ALL of Meat Loaf's "I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That)."

 

It goes on for 18 minutes and is the highest rated segment in SWF history.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

--Beezil enters to frickin' El Scorcho and uses the Air MacPhisto as a rare finisher. Who the hell do you think I'm gonna pick?

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

--Frost outdoes Tom by doing an ice luge with 151, then comes out sputtering all sorts of crap about winter and cold and sodomizing Amy Craven with a snowshoe. Fugue is summarily pinned with a drunken backslide, which sounds like a really wacky sexual position.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

--"Carless" Johnny Dangerous almost gets the upset, but Janus eats him. Mike gets kicked in the nuts, like, 40 times before the bell and is a non-factor.

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

--An absolutely odd tandem on one side of things versus tag champs who have yet to lose a straight up 2-on-2 match. Justice and Rule rules the day again.

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

--TNT to rebound strong. Our little dynamite kid writes more efficiently when he's not under the stress of something like a title defense, and I think this'll take him right back towards the top and perhaps towards a rematch at the next PPV...

[Guest Beezel]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

The pesky promo has gotten better men, but Tom should be able to use his heel Cheat-To-Win powers to squeak out a winner.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

It would be unprofessional to make a pick.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

Frost. I fear Frost. He's cold.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

I have to admit I'm rather unfamiliar with all three of these men. Having said that, rolling a die has resulted in the pick of Johnny Dangerous.

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

I know the latter team at least, however their styles don't immediatly give me confidence regardless of how good either is alone. J&R have tagged for a good while now, they keep their streak alive.

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

Should TNT get time to write this, I dare say the former Petro might get upset.

[Guest Ace309]

The 124% Accurate In-Character Predictions of Superiority~!

 

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

- Women all through the US, Canada and parts of Asia orgasm simultaneously.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezel vs. Xero

- BEEZEL! BEEZEL! AIR MACBEEZEL!

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

- I love Fugue. I hate Frost. Still. Frost

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

- Pfft. You've got Johnny, MVS, and then you have the most hardcore doorgod ever. Janus all the way.

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

- Gotta go with my boys Bill and Jir.

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

- TNT? Pfft. But he'll probably win when he hits JD with the horseshoe that keeps falling out of his ass.

[Guest WrestlingDeacon]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

-Flesher vacates the title to the Memphis Eel and leaves on a peace corp mission to Guam.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

-Is Xero back or is this just a goodwill debut offer to Beezel? Still, Beezel seems like he has fire and a direction, so I'll go with him.

WINNER: BEEZEL

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

-I'm not sure what Fugue's deal is as I know Janus has had communication problems with him. I like the character and he's someone I've never written against before. Look for a continuation of the Frost vs. Mag 7/Flesher storyline more than anything, but hopefully one of us can still produce a solid little match.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

-I think this is an all around good matchup and the guys seem to know each other well from the JL. I believe Janus has the character best suited to be the champ and his quick, efficient writing style is something to be admired.

Winner: JANUS

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

-Just a weird pairing up and I think that's going to hurt team chemistry and communication. I don't see ELM and Craven working well together at all or even being able to form a good plan. Justice and Rule are unstoppable when you keep it a straight up tag match and I think this makes a good primer for their title defense with Deja vu, who I really mark for now after having worked with them. Also let me mention that I don't think it's the best idea to have ELM always wrestling his stablemates after such a recent heel turn.

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

-TNT seems really bummed out by the title lost. JD seems fired up by his title win and this match plays heavily into his hardcore writing strengths. I want TNT to bounce back here to prove he's not a fluke champion, but I'm not sure of his mental state and he might need to take a couple steps back before he can take a couple steps forward again. Enjoy Color of Money, bro, as you know it's my favorite. We'll have to talk about it after you watch it.

Winner: JAY DAWG

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

 

After reading Flesher's last two matches... I don't care what he says, I'll probably mark.

 

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

 

Same as Frost...

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

 

I had a lot of fun writing Fugue taking a beating yet kept smiling... I can see Frost doing a similar motive, but doing it better and funnier... or maybe he'll just kick the poop out of him and make the fucking face sell... whatever.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

 

I hope to face Janus, just cause I want to kick him in the head for Crowe. (Y)!! I think Janus has the best direction for the gold, especially if he feuds with Wildchild.

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

 

Have Justice and Rule lost a straight up tag? I was surprised they lost last week, but this should get them their heat back... unless Mag/Craven have unusually good chemistry...

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

 

Feels good to be in the Main Event again... I don't think I can get away with rubbing TNT's face into Riley's nuts again. I'll just lock him in a dumpster.

[Guest Powerplay]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

- He announces his retirement ... or not.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

- Oh God, who could possibly get this one ?

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

- I hope for Fugue, but Frost is far more likely to take this one.

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

CRUSH THEM, JANUS!!!!!! CRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSH THEM!!!

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

- Oh, this should be tons of fun ... MuahahahahahahahahahahahahahAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

- Oooh, this should be an interesting one. I think TNT if he gets time, JD if he doesn't.

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

And now it's time for the "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing since I haven't read a show in a month" predictions!

 

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

Taaaamo, Taaamo, give me your promo, do! We're half craaaazy, all for the love of you! Taamo does vaudeville for half an hour and we eat it up like Edwin giving a blinky

WINNER: US!

 

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

Uh... I know who Xero is! It's Xero! And since he's being all underappreciated he gets a vote from me.

WINNER: 0

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

Well, apparently Fugue's missing. Having learned this, Frost will probably win. But, if Fugue returns......... Frost will probably win.

Winner: Brrrrrrrr

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

Hmmm.... uh..... dunno what to say here. I'll try to come up with some funny.

WINNER: Anyone but MVS

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

It's a bad guy ELM and bad guy Ash! versus a nasty tag team! No offense to ELM or Craven, but J&R are scary. And good. Scary good.

WINNER: Lawful Neutral (it's funny, trust me)

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

Tough call, but I'll root for TNT cause he has less of a desire to rape me.

WINNER: My ass

 

 

it's so easy when you go by the numbers

 

-Annie

[Guest 5_moves_of_doom]

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

Tough call, but I'll root for TNT cause he has less of a desire to rape me.

WINNER: My ass

Since when? Oh, and since I see that JD is looking at this thread right now... Drazon: unblock me on AIM and message me, fucker. A few questions for the pussy-ass clown.

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

I do not have a desire to rape you, merely sleep with you against your consent

[Guest Edwin MacPhisto]

WINNER: Lawful Neutral (it's funny, trust me)

 

NERRRRRRRRRRRRD

 

::Edwin rolls 2d6 to make fun of Annie and cast Magic Missile::

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

sorry, is there an argument giong on, I was paying mroe attention to the pictures of tied up anime women on my other browser tab....

 

-Annie

[Guest AnnieEclectic]

WINNER: Lawful Neutral (it's funny, trust me)

 

NERRRRRRRRRRRRD

 

::Edwin rolls 2d6 to make fun of Annie and cast Magic Missile::

:: rolls 4d10 to check damage with her +5 mallet of KABONG~! ::

 

-Annie

[Guest Beingz0wningj00]

TNT... I don't have AIM at the moment... won't for a while. PM me if need be

[Forewarned 0]

Done in character...or out of character...or in someone else's...or...who gives a flyin' f**k!?! Neilsen's talking!

 

 

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

NotJ: "The winner of this f**kin' thing is the guy that passed out in the fourth row, seat D12. His name is Herbert Dinkley. He's divorced, has no kids, works as an accountant and STILL has more personality than Flesher. The winners later on will be the people that go home, put in a tape and watch Neilsen f**kin' speak you dumb mother f**kers..."

 

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

NotJ: "Like a give a flyin' f**k! I'm suspended you dumb bastards! Well guess what you illiterate pieces of sh*t, this night'll be Neilsen's! My prediction is that the King of the Mother Fuckin' Jungle shows up, beat the living sh*t out of both these 'men' and laughs in the face of security."

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

NotJ: "Whether his 'mind' is in the game or not, Fugue stands head and shoulders above Frost! He...well, maybe not literally head and shoulders...but he showed me last week that he is far superior to that talentless hack. That said...Neilsen shows up, takes that f**kin' smile off Fugue's face as steel meets skull and blinds Frost with powder before pulling the ICTV Title out of nowhere and beating the living sh*t outta' him."

 

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

NotJ: "Janus."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NotJ: "See, I can be funny too. This match, even my interference won't be able to stop this f**kin' match! That is what the Hardcore Gamer's Title is all about! You overcome all odds and...the winner...heh...well, it's whoever climbs out of their hospital bed first."

 

 

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

NotJ: "And the men that win... Lord knows f**kin' how, but without even 'being there' Neilsen and Perfect Bo show up and somehow win the tag team titles! The fans cheer their f**kin' balls and ovaries off before Neilsen literally takes Bo's head off with a sledgehammer. ...the fans cheer even f**kin' louder."

 

 

 

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

NotJ: "Jay Dawg."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NotJ: "Hey! Stop f**kin' laughing! I mean, yeah, it was a f**kin' joke but still...laughing that hard is just f**kin' mean. The little Sh*tzsu still has feelings... But f**k himand F**k TNT! For not winning against Flesher, for not giving me MY title shot...I'll show up and crack his f**kin' cranium with solid f**kin' steel! As for Jay Dawg...I'll put his nuts in a vice...wait...my bad...I'll put his nut in a vice and pop that mother f**ker harder than he f**ks his mother...inbred piece of sh*t. There is only one King in this business and even more importantly, you f**kin' pissant puke, there is only one King of Hardcore!"

 

 

NotJ: "So the winner of this night...just like every other night...has this to say..."

 

 

 

NotJ: "I AM Neilsen of the Mother F**kin' Jungle! You can't beat me! You can't outfight me! You can't out-f**kin'-think me bitch! Butyou can, and will..."

 

Crowd: "FEAR ME!!!"

 

NotJ: "...roar mother f**kers..."

[Guest Tod deKindes]

Heh. My picks never DID come, did they? Here they be, in comical uninspired form.

 

OPENING PROMO

ARI FLEISCHER VS A MICROPHONE

 

The microphone by submission.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Dweezil vs. Xerox

 

Damn man, those Zappa kids are more screwed up than I thought.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fudge vs. Frostosis

 

Never doubt the nutritional qualities of that chocolaty treat...

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van It Slices, It Dices vs. Janice

 

Johnny, because I can't find any funny nickname for him.

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Solstice and Drool vs. Molson Dry/Craven A

 

Ash and ELM together? What'd I miss?

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

ToNTo vs. Jay Dawg Action Figure With Kung-Fu Grip & 3 Different Outfits©

 

Never doubt the indian, but THREE outfits? Hmm....

[Guest ErekT2k]

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

 

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

~ Xero

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

~ Frost

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

~ MVS

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

~ ELM/Craven

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

~ TNT

[Guest Goodear]

This is the best prediction thread ever...

 

OPENING PROMO

TOM FLESHER SPEAKS!!!

Tom discusses being cooler than Neilson because he doesn't have "of The Jungle" stapled to the end of his name... and not being suspended either. Being suspended sucks. Flesher buys property at the last house on the King's Road and starts throwing wild parties there.

 

SINGLES MATCH

Beezil vs. Xero

I know not this Beezil fellow, but he's still more likely to show up than Xero.

WINNER: Beezil

 

SINGLES MATCH

Fugue vs. Frost

Fugue's always been mysterious with his communications so who knows what is going to happen when he's in singles again. That said, Frost is a beast ... but he's a wussy beast now, face.

WINNER: Frost wins anyway

 

HARDCORE GAMERS’ CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH

Johnny Dangerous vs. Mike Van Siclen vs. Janus

JANNNNNUSSSSSSSSSSSSS~! JANNNNNNNNNUSSSSSSSSSSS~! AT LAST YOU'RE ON YOUR OWN!!!!! BOWWWW~!

WINNER: Janus

 

NON-TITLE TAG TEAM MATCH

Justice and Rule vs. El Luchadore Magnifico/Michael Craven

Lawful Neutral!?!? BAH! WE ARE EEEEVIL! We hit people with chains and stuff like that! Your Paladin casts Detect Evil, and Judge and I are glowing like fireflies. Then we pull out the vopral sword +4 and you break out the Staff of The Magi and its time to GET IT ON!

 

In other news, I'm starting to feel like the arch nemisis of the M7 now, and I'm in the group! I can't wait to get some stuff started with Deja Vu and their NEFARIOUS TWIN SHENANIGANS!

 

MAIN EVENT

BOILER ROOM BRAWL MATCH (NON-TITLE)

TNT vs. Jay Dawg©

WINNER: TNT