Best way to kill a kitten

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

My cousin just got a kitten, and the little thing keeps scratching me. Also, when I left my door open, it ran it, and shit under my bed, many times. I just need help and killing the little bitch (the kitten).

[Guest Zack Malibu]

OK, this has GOT to be a joke, even for you Mario...

 

I don't think even NHB rules could protect you from posting this should it be true.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

I'm just getting frustrated with that damn cat! If there is an alternative, tell me, and I'll sit to think about it. Besides, I wont post pictures here on it.

[Guest JangoFett4Hire]

Ask Whiskers...

[Guest The Superstar]

I was going to say the obvious "Masturbate" and then I realized you were serious.

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

well masturbation could work...you could drown it in semen

 

how's THAT for a disturbing visual

[Guest razazteca]

Just get a water bottle and spray it or go Cartman on him using a stick while yelling BAD KITTY RESPECT MY AUTHORITIA!

[Guest EL BRUJ0]

Just keep sodomizing the thing until the force of your phallic thrusts break it's lower body. Afterwards, tell everyone that the kitten was a victim of a hit and run. There you go.

[Guest crandamaniac]

Make like John Tenta and pretend the cat is Damien

[Guest Fook_Hing_Ho]

Throw it on the grill and laugh maniacally as it burns to a crisp

[Guest HollywoodSpikeJenkins]

Flush it down a toilet

[Guest WhenDanSaysJump]

Email Rob Black, he may be able to help with the whole cruel treatment of animals thing...

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

Flush it down a toilet

I'am trying to think of ways that wont get me kicked out of my house. This one seems a little weird, but I think that little bitch wont fit.

[Guest razazteca]

After it "fell" in the toilet you can dry the kitty in the microwave.

 

Urban Legends are true!

[Guest The Amazing Rando]

all you need.....is an incinerator....

 

"I was just taking kitty for a walk and WHOOSH...Krispy Kitty..."

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

Just keep sodomizing the thing until the force of your phallic thrusts break it's lower body.  Afterwards, tell everyone that the kitten was a victim of a hit and run.  There you go.

The sickest thing I've probably ever read on this board. That was just.... eww.

 

As an owner of 16 of the furry lil critters, perhaps I could help. If it shits in your room, then get a litter box in there. Doesn't have to be anything expensive... a simple. small box with litter would do. If it's just one kitten, then it probably won't smell as much as you'd think, especially if you use Fresh Step.

 

As for the scratching, just clip it's nails. You'll want to know how to do it before you cut, because you don't want to cut too deep. If you do, then it'll probably hate you more than it does now...which wouldn't be too good.

 

It's a kitten, so it probably gets attached easily....I know mine do [damn things! We were SUPPOSED to not keep any of 'em!] Cats usually like to be petted on the necks, behind their ears, and on their nose. Hell, our one kitten falls asleep if you hold it just right and pet the fur on it's nose.

 

It could either be annoying as hell, or attached to you......or at least on friendly terms. Personally, I'd prefer the latter.

[Guest MrRant]

Supposedly putting tabasco sauce along say the floor where the door closes will stop them from going in there because they don't like the pepper smell.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

It could either be annoying as hell, or attached to you......or at least on friendly terms. Personally, I'd prefer the latter.

I tried to get attatched to the fucking thing, and it still claws my fingers.

[Guest EL BRUJ0]

The sickest thing I've probably ever read on this board. That was just.... eww.

I've read sicker stuff. For instance, there's this thing called slash...

[Guest snuffbox]

this thread is cool...and by 'cool' i mean 'gay'

[Yuna_Firerose 0]

I tried to get attatched to the fucking thing, and it still claws my fingers.

Hmm...sounds like a very young kitten. At my guess, it's afraid and not used to it's new surroundings.

 

I've read sicker stuff. For instance, there's this thing called slash...

Slash is not even in the same league as beastality, and it's two totally different things.

[Guest Will Scarlet]

As an owner of 16 of the furry lil critters,

 

How exactly did you end up with 16 cats? That seems like a bit much.

[Guest Choken One]

16 Cats? Fucking Lame...

 

Who wants Cats anyways? They serve no purpose...

 

Dogs not only are cool but they will kill your enemy too...Cats are nothing but fucking pussies...

[Guest MD2020]

16 Cats? Fucking Lame...

 

Who wants Cats anyways? They serve no purpose...

 

Dogs not only are cool but they will kill your enemy too...Cats are nothing but fucking pussies...

Dog v. Lion--I'm picking the cat.

[Guest Rob Edwards]

having just watched Men in Black I'm going to suggest attracting an orb of some form of intergalactic significance to the cat and wait for an extraterrestrial to abduct it

[Guest Sandman9000]

You kill the kitten, I kill you.

 

No joke.

[Guest EL BRUJ0]

You hear that Elvis.

 

Touch the pussy and you die!

[Guest crandamaniac]

Who'd have thought Sandman would be a cat lover?

[Guest J*ingus]

Um... don't kill baby kitties. Just keep your door shut and don't touch the thing, and hope your cousin has it declawed and housebroken sometime soon.

[Guest Vern Gagne]

Does that imply it's ok to kill adult cats?