Storm's losing matches!

[Secret Agent 0]

Well,

 

Surprise, surprise... Johnny Dangerous looses again! I had more luck when my computer was broke and I was no-showing. However, I think there is seriously somethign wrong this time as I felt mine was far superior. Ejiro... please? At least you provide good criticsm.

 

--------------------------------------------------

 

 

Following a short commercial break, SWF Storm explodes back onto the airwaves! Leaping from their seats, the elbow to elbow crowds let out a mighty cheer, waving their signs about and generally having a good time. “Welcome back to S W F Storm!” bellows the voice of “Grand Slam” Mark Stevens as the cameras pan across the crowds, catching a few of the better signs in their sights. “we are coming at you live from the Rose Garden in Portland Oregon, and these fans are simply thrilled to be here!”

 

“Not as thrilled as me.” says Bobby Riley, Storms Color Commentator as the view switches to the Riley and Stevens seated at their tough as nails table. “I can’t wait to see my boy Tom Flesher finally put that pathetic worm, Frost in his place!”

 

“Well,” says Stevens, “your going to be waiting for a while because that is our main event. Perhaps we should focus on our next match up, where we will see Mike Van Siclen taking on Johnny Dangerous with the number one contender spot to the US title on the line!”

 

“Didn’t Van Siclen get schooled by Michael Craven on Smarkdown?” ask Riley.

 

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly put it in those terms, but yes Van Siclen faced Michael Craven on Smarkdown... coming up just inches short of victory.”

 

“Inches my pimply ass!” snaps Bobby. “Craven smacked Mike Van Siclen around the ring like a red headed stepchild! MVS couldn’t buy a worse ass kicking!”

 

“So I’ll take it you won’t be rooting for Mike Van Siclen?”

 

“Are you kidding me? I would so love to see MVS take this match, if only to see Michael Craven punk him out one more time!”

 

Stevens shakes his head in sympathy. “I don’t think I could ever hope to understand your logic, Bobby. Anyway, I would personally like to see Johnny Dangerous win this match. He has been floating around the SWF since Clusterf**K pretty much with out a cause. A win here could really push him in the direction I think he needs to go.”

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen!” bellows Funyon, from inside the ring. “the following match scheduled for one fall will determine the number one contender to the Smarks Wrestling Federation’s United States Championship!”

 

The fans let out a low cheer, then shift their view towards the entrance ramp, curious as to who they will see in action. For a moment there is silence, keeping everyone’s suspense at bay, then...

 

 

 

CRASH!

CRASH!

CRASH!

CRASH!

 

The sound of four quick cymbal strikes and an even quicker sound of a droning guitar that kick starts “Damage Done” blast across the arena as the house lights drop and blue strobes begin flashing in beat with the song! Seconds later Mike Van Siclen steps out front and center to a shower of cheers, holding his arms high into the air!

 

“Entering first!” booms Funyon “weighing in at two hundred and thirty seven pounds, and hailing from Harrison, Illinois, I give you the Spectacular One.... MIIIIIKE VAN SICLEENN!!”

 

With his head held high, Mike Van Siclen strides down the ramp, soaking in the cheers that fall his way.

 

“How in the world could he possibly be so cocky?” ask Riley. “He got destroyed by Michael Craven just days ago, yet he walk’s with his head in the clouds like he’s the greatest thing since sliced bread!”

 

“That’s the best thing about Mike Van Siclen.” says Mark. “No matter how much punishment you put him through, he just refuses to let it affect him! Van Siclen isn’t walking into this match as a loser from Smarkdown, no he’s coming in determined to win!

 

After sliding into the ring, Mike takes flight to a corner turnbuckle. He raises his arms up to the crowds, basking in all their glory while flash bulbs explode all across the arena! With a smile, Mike steps down... and in a flash his demeanor changes from fun loving to force to be reckoned with! Crouching down, he fixes his eyeballs onto the stage and waits...

 

 

 

 

 

“JOHNNY DANGEROUS!”

 

 

 

 

Instantly the shrill of a five thousand fans ring out while those close to the crowd barricade rush in to get a closer look at the Secret Agent as the last remnants of his name echo about the arena! Giving his entrance a total spy feel, the theme from “MI2” thunders from the speakers while the SmarkTron flashes to life with various clips of Johnny Dangerous pulling off some harrowing spy like stunts mixed with bits and specs of his wrestling career. Finally emerging from backstage, Johnny swipes the curtains aside and steps out to center stage under a single white spotlight, and Funyon makes the introduction,

 

“... AND his opponent!” he begins, “weighing in at two hundred and ten pounds, and hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada, the Barracuda himself.... JOHNNNNY DAAAAANGEROUS!!”

 

“Man,” says Riley, “I don’t think I have ever seen a wrestler as lousy as Johnny Dangerous get so many cheers. Of course with this crowd you could throw them a brick and they‘d cheer!”

 

“Win or loose,” remarks Grand Slam, “you have to admit Johnny Dangerous comes packed with a hell of a lot of charisma! If you could bottle it up and sell it, we would be sitting pretty, Bobby.”

 

“More like lying pretty with your shoulders firmly pinned to the mat.”

 

Regardless, Johnny strolls towards the ring stopping only to blow a kiss at one of the more lovely females in attendance before sliding in, and walking straight up to Mike Van Siclen. The two exchange a menacing glare towards each other, followed by a few heated words before Referee Anthony Michael Hall steps in between them, saving the fight for a few more moments.

 

“Come on Van Siclen,” cheers Bobby, “smack the taste out of his mouth!”

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

The bell barely has the chance to ring out for the third and final time, when Johnny and Van Siclen leap towards each other, instantly engaging in a collar and elbow lock up! Mike grits down hard on his teeth as he tries to summon the strength to over power the Barracuda, who seems to be the equal match to his own strength! Persistence pays, and Van Siclen begins to feel the leverage gaining in his corner, forcing Johnny half way down on one knee! Suddenly, Dangerous shoves back on Van Siclen, throwing the ball back in his corner just long enough to break the tie up and wrap his arm around Mike’s head with a front face lock!

 

“Johnny Dangerous manages to get the upper hand in this initial encounter.” says Stevens as the fans let out a cheer, but before Johnny can do much damage Van Siclen shoves the Barracuda forward, slipping his head out of the hold and immediately bolting for the near ropes! “Maybe not.”

 

“That’ll show you to speak to soon.” says Riley.

 

Bouncing off the ropes, Mike charges straight for Johnny with his arm cocked back, ready to slam it viciously across Dangerous’ throat. He let’s it fly forward just as Johnny spins back around... and ducks the blow, but Mike is determined to level the Secret Agent and charges for the opposite ropes without skipping a single beat, while Johnny does just the same. Both men hit their ropes in unison, and rocket back towards each other, while the crowds hold onto their hats, curious as to who will get the better of the other. Swinging out his arm, It’s Johnny this time, but like before the blow is ducked... only by Mike Van Siclen now and once again the two continue towards the opposite ropes! Again, they lean far into the ropes and rocket themselves towards each other, coming in like two steam powered locomotives about to collide, but a mere second before they can, Johnny drops to the mat, allowing Mike to float right over him and continue on his way towards his opposite end of the ring.

 

“Back and forth, back and forth,” says Riley, “I wish one of these two would connect!”

 

Johnny leaps back to his feet just as Mike comes a charging back for the hundreth time, but quickly he swings his leg out and slams the heel of his foot into Mike’s skull, sending Van Siclen in a flat spin to the mat!

 

CRACK!

 

“Dear Lord,” says Stevens, “ a spinning heel kick? That was quite the unusual way to end this exchange. I’ll bet Mike Van Siclen didn’t see that one coming.”

 

“Oh, but I’m sure he felt it.” cackles Riley. “However, a sloppy kick like that won’t keep him down for good.”

 

The crowds let out a joyful noise for the effort the pair displayed, but unfortunately only Johnny is standing to absorb it in. He takes a quick survey of the crowd while taking a few deep breaths, then drops down over Van Siclen, rolling him onto his back and making a cover. Hall drops to make the count...

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

“NO!” shouts Stevens as Mike Van Siclen slings his shoulder up. “kick out just after two. That was nearly a near fall for Van Siclen.”

 

Mike rolls over onto his stomach and begins to pick himself up, although the stinging effects of Johnny’s attack slow him to a snails pace. Though being the nice kind of guy that Johnny is, he reaches down and grabs Van Siclen by the chin, dragging him to his feet with little resistance, then rears back... and socks Mike in his spectacular eye!

 

WHAM!

 

“... and down goes Mike!” says Stevens. “Johnny Dangerous is just letting the animal inside him loose tonight!”

 

“Oh, really?” says Riley as vision of days past come flooding into his mind. With a smile he continues, “well you know, I have been known as the Wild Cat in other types of ventures before.”

 

“Please, Bobby. I am almost certain the two of you have absolutely nothing in common in THOSE types of activities.”

 

Rolling onto his stomach, Van Siclen begins to push himself off the mat with one hand while covering his eye with the other. Determined to not even give Mike a single inch to breath, Johnny clasp his hands around Van Siclen’s leg, rips his poor body off the mat, then ferociously slams his knee back into the canvas!

 

“ARGH!” Van Siclen cries out as a sliver of pain surges from his knee! Once again, Johnny reaches down and grabs hold of Mike's leg, but Van Siclen quickly swings his free foot up - and into Johnny's crown jewels!!

 

SLAM!!

 

"Low blow by Mike Van Siclen!" says Stevens. "and the Referee must have been checking out that blonde in the third row, because he obviously didn't see it!"

 

Johnny cries out in pain as he reaches down to shield his damaged goods, hobbling away to safety towards the far ropes! Van Siclen quickly gives chase, and grabs the Barracuda by his arm, spinning him back around to face him and slams his fist right into Johnny’s mouth!

 

WHAM!!

 

 

The blow sends Johnny tumbling back into the ropes - which spring him right back towards Mike Van Siclen. Johnny weakly swings out his fist, but Mike easily dodges and lets Dangerous’ arm sail right over his head - popping up directly behind him, he locks his hands around the Barracuda’s waist! Johnny tries his hardest to break free, but Mike quickly vaults back, hauling the Secret Agent overboard!

 

 

SLAM!!

 

“Van Siclen is really starting to come alive in there - taking Johnny Dangerous for a ride with a Release-German Suplex!”

 

Johnny slams hard into the mat, folding like an accordion as Van Siclen charges in and leaps into the air... and mashes his elbow into Dangerous’ sternum!

 

WHAM!

 

Quickly, Mike hooks Johnny’s leg and goes for a pin. Hall slides in to make the count...

 

 

ONE!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH - “NO!” cries Grand Slam as the Barracuda thrusts his legs out and breaks free of Van Siclen. “Kick out just before three!”

 

“Almost there, Mike!” cheers Riley. “A few more licks and then you can go to take a licking from Craven!”

 

Keeping the heat on high, Van Siclen quickly bounces to his feet and with a handful of Johnny’s slick black hair, jerks the Secret Agent to his feet! Mike drops a swift jab into Johnny just to keep him subdued, then grabs him by his arm and whips him across the ring - directly towards the corner turnbuckle!

 

CRACK!

 

Johnny’s back slams directly into the steel post, and the sickening sound of bone grinding into metal rings out, sparking a “Ooh!” from the crowds.

 

“OW!” holler’s Stevens, wincing at the impact. “He may have just dislocated a disc there!”

 

Johnny pops out of the turnbuckle, stammering forward and clinching tightly to his back, completely out of his element - giving Siclen the perfect chance to sink his foot deep into his gut, doubling the poor spy over! The crowds cheer heavily as Van Siclen grabs the Barracuda by his head and thrusts it in between his legs!

 

“Here it comes!” says Bobby enthusiastically. “One Van Slaminator coming right up!”

 

“Since when did you like this move?”

 

“Since it was preformed on Johnny Dangerous.”

 

Mike reaches down and locks his arms around Johnny’s waist, slowly he begins to lift him up...

 

 

 

 

 

 

... then drops him to the mat as something catches his attention from the corner of his eye. Drawing heavy firing of booing, a figure emerges onto the stage with the title Mike seeks loosely tossed over his shoulder, grabbing Mike Van Siclen’s attention by the throat!

 

“It’s Craven!” shouts Stevens. “Michael Craven! What’s he doing out here?”

 

“Probably just wanting to see who he gets to destroy next while defending his precious US Championship.” Riley says smugly.

 

“Well, whatever his intentions are, they can’t be good!”

 

Craven briefly lets his eyes grace the crowds with their presence, before turning his attention away from them. They try their hardest to get under his skin, showering him with boo’s and obscenities, but it simply rolls off him like water on a ducks back. Shifting his title belt on his shoulder, Craven then folds his arms and glares hard towards the ring, focusing in part on Mike Van Siclen.

 

Slowly, Johnny rolls onto his stomach and reaches out for the near ropes to help him climb to his feet. All the while Van Siclen continues tossing out countless insults and begging Craven to take a step into the ring he now dominates! Finally hearing enough, Craven begins to slowly stroll down the ramp igniting a tremendous cheer in the audience!

 

“Here he comes!” says Stevens. “I think this audience is dying to see a rematch between Mike Van Siclen and As.. er.. Michael Craven! And it looks like Craven could care less that there is already a match in progress! I just knew this match would be ruined by him!”

 

“Ruin?” replies Riley, almost astounded that Grand Slam would make such an accusation. “Craven is just coming to get a closer look!”

 

Giving Craven all the room in the world and then some to enter the ring, Van Siclen takes not one or two, but THREE whole steps back! Totally unaware that directly behind him, Johnny Dangerous awaits crouched down and ready to deliver some sweet-

 

-“BABY JESUS!” cries Riley. “Look out MVS - Johnny’s right behind you!”

 

“Johnny Dangerous; looking for an opening for the Johnny Kick, but can he land it!”

 

Craven points a finger towards Van Siclen, motioning for him to turn around. Like a plum fool, the Spectacular one does just that! Spinning around just as curious as can be, about the only time Van Siclen has time to do is drop his jaw when he catches sight of Johnny’s powerful snap kick charging for his skull!

 

 

KA-RAAAACK!!!

 

“JOHNNY KICK!” cries Mark Stevens as Van Siclen is knocked right off his feet, and crashes into the mat with a tremendous thud! “Mike Van Siclen has been Johnny Kicked straight out of his shoes!”

 

“I’m not exactly sure if that’s what Craven had hoped for,” says Riley, “but he may have just inadvertently cost Mike Van Siclen the match! Call me a fan of Craven if you will, but the logic behind this move totally escapes me!”

 

Still some what shaken from the earlier attacks, Johnny hesitates for a moment before proceeding any farther. He shakes his head, and smacks the palm of his head against his temple trying to knock the dizziness from him, then steps up to Van Siclen’s body, hovering directly over his head.

 

“Oh, no...” says Riley with an overbearing sigh. “Don’t tell me he’s...”

 

“Oh, Hell yes!” shouts Stevens, cutting Bobby off in mid-sentence. “It’s about damn time we got to see this brilliant maneuver in the halls of the SWF!”

 

Standing several feet from the ring, Cravens eyes widen a mile, realizing his mistake when Johnny Dangerous clenches his fist tightly together and thrusts his arms high into the air! The crowds ROAR in approval, dancing around the isles and cheering louder than they have all night! A second later and the Barracuda bolts for the far ropes, charging in like an out of control Freightliner, which also happen to be the ones Michael Craven is near! Craven immediately leaps up to the apron and draws his arm back, ready to knock Johnny’s block off the second he draws near!

 

“Maybe Craven really does want a rematch against Mike Van Siclen!” Stevens speculates.

 

“Of course... ” says Bobby, “He knows he can beat the snot out of MVS, but he never has had to face Johnny Dangerous before! Wait a second... did I just say that?”

 

“Yes... Yes, you did.”

 

Anyway, Johnny is no fool this time around and before he even thinks about leaning into the ropes with Craven right there, he slams the breaks on as he reaches the ropes, draws his hand back, and...

 

 

SMACK!!

 

“Oh my God!” says Mark. “Johnny just slapped Michael Craven like... like a... ”

 

“Straight bitch?” Riley chimes in.

 

Sure enough, he did, and Craven is knocked from the apron to a joyous cheer! However, Johnny isn’t about to let one rotten apple spoil his brew and goes right back to where he left off as if he never even stopped! Leaning far into the ropes, Johnny launches himself back across the ring like a Tomahawk Cruise Missile headed for Iraq, leaps into the air and mounts a complete front flip as he extends his double fist out, and DRIVESit deep into the heart of Mike Van Siclen!

 

WHAAMM!!!

 

“Armed and Dangerous!” says Stevens as Van Siclen’s body convulses from the tidal shockwave of Johnny’s fist drop. “and it looks like we are three seconds from seeing Michael Craven’s next challenger to the US Title!”

 

“This can’t be.” whines Riley. “I was set for another MVS beat down by Michael Craven.”

 

Sitting upright on his knees inches from the Spectacular One’s body, Johnny swipes his palm against the side of his head, putting that ONE misplaced hair back in it’s appropriate location, and readjust his tie, all before pressing both hands down onto Van Siclen’s chest for the pin. For a fraction of a moment Craven on the outside ponders interfering while rubbing his bruised cheek, but the look in Johnny’s eye’s is enough to send chills down the US Champ’s spine. Grabbing onto his precious title, Michael Craven then backs his way up the ramp, all the while never removing his eye’s from Johnny Dangerous. Finally, Hall drops to make the count while the crowds count out loud in unison...

 

 

 

ONE!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!

 

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

“Johnny Dangerous has done it!” shouts Grand Slam. “Coming into this match nobody thought he had a snowballs chance in hell of defeating Mike Van Siclen, but he has overcome all odds, and this crowd is on their feet for Johnny Dangerous!”

 

The sound of Limp Bizkit’s theme to “MI2” thunders across the arena as Hall grabs onto Johnny’s arm and raises it in victory to a tremendous reception!

 

“The winner of this match!” booms Funyon after he slides back into the ring. “and your number one contender to the S! W! F’S! United States Championship... JOHNNNNNY DAAAAAANGEROUSS!!!!!”

 

Michael Craven watches the celebration from the top of the ramp, then quickly shoves the curtains aside and disappears backstage, already formulating a plan of attack for when he faces Johnny Dangerous.

 

“Well, sh*t.” gripes Riley. “I was hoping Craven would come back in and give Johnny a sizable ass whopping!”

 

“You know that will only happen if Johnny Dangerous turns his back.” remarks Stevens.

 

“What are you trying to say, Mark? Are you calling. Michael Craven a coward that would only sneak attack someone when they least expect it? Don’t come crying to me when Craven wallops you good for that one.”

 

“I think I can take care of myself just fine, Bobby. Anyway, we have us a brand new contender to the United States Championship, which will be a true barn burner of a match when it takes place... but first we have a Hardcore Championship Match in store. The mysterious but lovable Beezel will try and challenge the seemingly unstoppable Janus to the throne! Will he be successful? Find out next after this short word from our sponsors!”

 

“But, Mark?” says Riley just as the show begins to trail off. “Isn’t Wildchild also the number one contender to the US Title? What’s kind of rift will that put between him and Johnny once he returns?”

 

Mark tries to think of an answer, but can only produce a blank stare towards Riley as the show finally fades to darkness.

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

I'm not the marker, nor am I a marker. But personally, I dislike really long intros, get to the damn match already.

 

-The slipping out of the facelock, and running into the ropes, seems a bit awkward, in fact it's VERY awkward.

 

advice: Just use a headlock, run the guy into the ropes, and shoot him off. Same result, but a helluva lot smoother.

 

-Criss cross sequence is pretty nice, the hurdle spot though seems a tad misplaced. Always a sweet way to start a match.

 

advice: Maybe if the sequence started with it would fit in better. Most long Criss Cross sequences start with the hurdle spot, actually.

 

-Low blows are lazy transition. Sometimes it works into the story of the match, and gets a guy over as desperate or a real asshole. But most it's over used and lazy, lazy, lazy.

 

advice: Use something else, anything else.

 

-Despite the low blow, it's still a two move transition spot which is always good.

 

-I'm not a fan of the whole, guy comes out and distracts other guy nonsense, like low blows a once meaningful spot has become cliched CRAP, but too each their own I guess.

 

-Dangerous bitch smacking Craven, and than scoring the pinfall over MVS kind of came off a little too........supermanish. I don't know, I'm just not a big fan of the interference stuff.

 

Overall it was a very well written match, and even though it's frustrating you should keep trying and not be discouraged.

 

edit: having glanced over MVS' match I noticed his didn't have the interference, obviously there was miscommunication of some kind. This could also have been a factor in the outcome.

[Secret Agent 0]

Thanks for the comments, Danny. Yes, the lowblow was somewhat laziness. I had two portions written the ending and the first half. When I realized I was like 500 words away from the word limit I had to use a quick transition to get Mike into his shining part.

 

The Craven stuff was just something I added. I thought as a heel he would be intrested in who his challenger would be. Knowing he already beat MVS he would feel like it would be another easy victory to face MVS again. However it didn't quite work out that way.

 

BTW: Discouraging? No, it's more like I don't see why I lost. Not one marker will give me an explanation on why my match was just so horrible. I haven't won a single match since coming to the WF and I know I am more than capable, so I can't see why I am losing. To me it feels like a damn conspiracy. Hell even MVS said he didn't know how his match won. Now I am not slamming Grand Slam at all, he seems like a "call it down the middle" and respectable kind of guy. I figure maybe he had one to many brewski's before marking, or maybe was half asleep. Or maybe he was trying to prove the quality over quantity thing... I dunno but I am pulling my hair out trying to figure this out. Plus now I know I won't have any sort of PPV match that is even remotley intresting to write.

 

I asked Z, and I get this. I really don't care. It's a loss. I trust Mark's judgement a lot more than I do a lot of other people in this fed. Get over it.

 

Gee isn't that helpful. Espically since he is supose to be a CC member. JL but still you represent one, you represent them both. Nice that CC wants to "Help us out if we have a problem"

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

Well, I had the same problem a while back(last fall or summer, I think). I couldn't win, and was constantly getting into it with the markers. So I retired, with no plans for coming back, but than decided to come back anyway because this is what I like to do. Now I am the ICTV Title number one contender, but it did take a while(Dec-March) of consistent writing(like one no show).

 

 

Anyway, man. I would say the interference is what sealed the deal. Besides angles like that, have to be written by both writers, otherwise it's an unfair advantage or inconsistenty with the storylines. Besides, I think it took away from the quality of the match IMO.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

Okay, I read both, and I'll pretty much tell you why your match lost.

 

It wasn't as good.

 

You've got some major problems with stylistic flow in your matches, and it made them read a lot worse than MVS's match read. Your wrestling at times was awkward (as expressed by Danny), and your commentary was flat and unfunny. I'm not saying your match sucked, because it didn't. However, those factors weigh in huge when your matches are relatively close. MVS's was more readable, and even though he may have put himself over a little bit too much in the beginning, it still was better than yours.

 

Seriously, it happens. You'll go on streaks where you think you'll never win again. You will. Just put your mind into improving it and it'll get better.

[Guest Grand Slam]

I am not going to come on here and defend my decision, nor will I point out to anyone why I thought MVS match was better.

 

I am here because of one comment...

 

I figure maybe he had one to many brewski's before marking, or maybe was half asleep. Or maybe he was trying to prove the quality over quantity thing...

 

I would never, ever, ever use a real match to prove a point. In fact, I don't check the word limits until I am done reading the matches and have scored them.

 

I am offended that you don't think I take marking matches seriously. Yes, I was late getting this posted, and yes, I have no good excuse other than "having things to do" but I take this seriously. Those of you who know me would know that I would not grade matches while "half-asleep" or while drunk. hell, I don't get drunk!

 

I know I may be overreacting, but it is crap like this that made me stop marking matches back in the JL after I retired. If there is any doubt in anyone's mind that I take this seriously, all of it, then you obviously have no idea how much time and effort I have put into this Fed.

 

I will put it this way... there is a right way and a wrong way to go about doing what was done in this thread. hell, practically every match I have ever graded has ended up on a "Losing matches" thread with the question, "I'm not sure why I lost?" and I usually don't answer. The commenst tend to reflect my own feelings, so I don't see the need to step in with what might be quoted later as an edict from CC. But they don't tick me off because they are generally people looking to improve and not saying disparaging things about the marker. That is the right way to do things.

 

This is the wrong way. I am not in the habit of deleting or editing threads, but let me tell you, my finger was on the "smite" button here.

[Forewarned 0]

Given that I've been in more matches than probably anyone else in the history of the fed other than possibly JD...I'll chime in on this.

 

Look at my history. I went from undefeatable to losing streaks that were just horrendous to undefeatable and back and forth. Everyone will hit this wall if they stick around long enough, especially with the burnout factor. I may have had one bonus that y'all don't got in that I could no-show for months at a time without getting booted simply because of who I was. But to win, there are some things you need to figure out.

 

1) What works for your character? What kind of wrestler is he? Neilsen wins in a large extent because his opponents always look just as good if not better than he does in the matches until a desperate move or a cheap shot by the Jungle King at the end. That may be a factor as to why he never got many World title shots, but he wins almost every other match.

 

2) Don't go too far with it. Two quick examples. My two losses here were because I made Neilsen look too good and in one case my opponent look too good. Against MVS and Judge, I had everyone interfere, Neilsen appear only at the end and McTwist not just his foes but TNT, Flesher, ELM and threw powder in Frost's eyes. Even gave JD a low blow. And I'm not shocked I lost. Then against Wildchild, I decided to write a promo longer than the match. Then I had Wildchild hit damn near everything he had on Neilsen only to have Neilsen pull out a McTwist to win. Neilsen didn't do enough. And hey...even I've lost to MVS.

 

3) Use colorful commentary. In every Neilsen match, you'll have "steel meets skull" or "cracks his cranium" in there. Comedy isn't even needed, although I occasionally use it, as long as the announcers relate relevant material.

 

4) Don't blame the markers. Just work at writting your best every time, picture the beginning and end before you start. Figure out the story. My return: Neilsen does everything he can to take away Frost's size advantage. The beginning and end were already figured out and that was the story. The Inferno match's story was the flames and Neilsen's left knee. Blaming the markers is something I never condoned...even though I did it plenty of times before...just make it so they have no choice but to pick your match. Practice makes perfect.

 

5) Not for you but for Stevens...

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Can I get one of those "smite" buttons? Sounds kinky...

[Guest Goodear]

Hey Johnny,

 

I don't know that you should be asking me since I'm still trying to get my second singles win. Honestly, all I've been able to do is hold onto the meteor that is The Judge and pick the flies out my teeth. Anyway, here are some generic tips from a tag wrestler.

 

I think maybe one of the most important things to do though is to always make sure you get the personality of your opponent over in your match. One of the mistakes I see people making is that they center the entire contest on what their character would do and sort of play the other guy as just a moveset. Always make sure to get over the other guy.

 

Commentary is really important as far as markers seem to be concerned for some reason. And although I might not agree with the sentiment, its something you should look out for when you're putting your match together.

 

Build up to big spots, I've seen a whole lot of people who's first move in a match is a Northern Lights Bomb. That's just freaking silly. Start with the simple and build to the more devastating. It'll build the match up to all cresendo proportions.

 

But what do I know?

 

Ejiro

[Guest Coffin Surfer]

"I think maybe one of the most important things to do though is to always make sure you get the personality of your opponent over in your match. One of the mistakes I see people making is that they center the entire contest on what their character would do and sort of play the other guy as just a moveset. Always make sure to get over the other guy."

 

Indeed, that it is a very good point. Personally, I try to write a different type of match for each character. Like my matches with Annie Eclectic were sluggish out of control brawls with lots of cheap tatics, my matches with Francis were fast and spot crazy, both my matches with Ejiro were slow, submission based. Try to adapt to each opponent. Notice that this is the case in real life, you won't see Beniot trying to mat wrestle with Albert like he would Angle.

 

"Commentary is really important as far as markers seem to be concerned for some reason. And although I might not agree with the sentiment, its something you should look out for when you're putting your match together."

 

If your like me, and can't write good dialouge to save your life. Just use the commentary to point out key spots, explain backstory and psychology, and add excitement and you'll do fine.

 

 

"Build up to big spots, I've seen a whole lot of people who's first move in a match is a Northern Lights Bomb. That's just freaking silly. Start with the simple and build to the more devastating. It'll build the match up to all cresendo proportions."

 

Everynow and now than there is nothing wring with starting off with a big spot, All Japan was famous for this in their heyday. It really depends on the match and the situation. Just don't have a whole match be nothing but big spots, unless it's really short or it won't come off realistic and no story will develop.

[Guest Tyler McClelland]

I think commentary can't make a match, but it can certainly kill it.

[Guest kelloggs]

Commentary view from the guy that should be working...

 

Cast is correct. It might not make a match but it sure can break it.

 

Commentary is a part of the match flow and IMHO helps set the matches tone. If you can't explain the basic internal storyline of your match, if you have one that is, then it's going to take a lot away from it. Commentary is the thing that threads the description of your actions together and gives the readers hints to what they are supposed to understand, so that when they see it, they make a mental connection. Commentary in my view, won't win you a match because it's overly good, but because it's not overly bad. Bad commentary KILLS a readers interest because they don't have the extra hints to help make that connection to the story you're trying to tell with your actions. It doesn't have to be funny or whatever, as long as it gets the emotion you want the reader to feel across. Being funny is a plus, as most commentators are funny, but if you're really having trouble throw in a, VEIL DAMMIT, Riley's gay comment and something about Flesher... it'll normally work its way out into a funny joke.

 

I had trouble with it for the longest time until I thought about it like that... well, not the Flesher part cause thats a joke, but the rest you should use.

[Guest Ace309]

Commentary is easy. Just listen to the voices in your head.

[Guest Longdogger_Pete]

And in the meantime, please be respectful of the members of CC. We've been through this discussion before. Asking for advice is okay. Insulting your marker is not.