Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Chris Jericho(to Steph and Rhyno): "At SummerSlam I'm going to take care of that smelly, greasy, nasty animal...and I'm going get you too Rhyno." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest godthedog Report post Posted April 20, 2003 I nominate this as a Classic thread! This thread....wow, I am dying of laughter here!!! actually, the "memorable BAD quotes" thread from general wrestling should get in before this one. it lasted forever, & people are already starting to recycle quotes from it. i'll recycle my own, from the main event at KOR 2001: heyman: benoit just hit austin with the title! JR: ...well what do you want me to do about it? heyman: i want you to tell hebner! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest the 1inch punch Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Vince (trying to get Austin to tag with Kurt): "Steve, it's OK. I know he's a dork, but he's a dangerous dork, our dork and your backup dork!" Why cant I stop laughing at that Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest cabbageboy Report post Posted April 20, 2003 A lesser known RVD promo had him saying something like "Goldust looks like some cross dresser out on Hollywood Blvd." And then he proceeded to rib on GD's heavy breathing, but of course made it seem like a pot reference. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Spaceman Spiff Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Practically everything from Heel Austin/Little Buddy Angle was comedy gold. Vince: I'm the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, and you want me to chase a chicken? Shane: GET THE CHICKEN! Vince: (runs after the chicken) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheOriginalOrangeGoblin 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Funniest. Thread. Ever Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest candie45 Report post Posted April 20, 2003 "I've made local medical journals by setting a record for becoming the most requested sperm doner in Pittsburgh. More women want me to donate my olympic seed to the local clinic than any other person." "Virginia is for lovers, provided those lovers are not from the same family" "You can dance, and you can prance, but when it comes to relationships, keep it in your pants." and "If you want to suck on something, suck on this." (giving out lollies) I Kurt Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SupaTaft Report post Posted April 20, 2003 "Here Debra, I got something for your boobs." -Mick to Debra after stealing the Rock's money -Taft Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest eiker_ir Report post Posted April 20, 2003 I nominate this as a Classic thread! This thread....wow, I am dying of laughter here!!! actually, the "memorable BAD quotes" thread from general wrestling should get in before this one. it lasted forever, & people are already starting to recycle quotes from it. agreed, i nominated that thread in the Sire Feedback folder but apparently they didn't pay me attention Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Stunt Granny Report post Posted April 20, 2003 From the SummerSlam 2001 DVD they show some bonus footage of what happened after RAW went off the air the next night. The Alliance is covered with milk, Austin grabs the mic: SCSA: I hope you people are happy now. This was suppose to be a night to remember. This was suppose to be Stone Cold Steve Austin Appriciation Night!! (turns to Stasiak) SCSA: I got a man down over here. Are you okay? Stasiak:....... SCSA: What? Stasiak:....... SCSA: Are you okay? Stasiak:....... SCSA: What? Stasiak:...I want..... SCSA: What? Stasiak:....I want you to kick Kurt Ang..... SCSA: Are you okay? Stasiak: yes I'm fine SCSA: What? Stasiak: I'm okay SCSA: What? Stasiak: YEAH I'M OKAY!!!! SCSA: Are you okay? Stasiak: ......yes Keep in mind this was before the idiots got ahold of "What?" and it was still funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest crandamaniac Report post Posted April 20, 2003 The Rock: Who is this rooty poo? Booker T: I'm the 5 time WCW champion, sucka! The Rock: You're the 5 time WCW champion sucker? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest PencilJobber Report post Posted April 20, 2003 the Rock's Your Momma and a piece of shit had sex and you were born was a great line also not a 1-liner but when Angle started talking right into the Camera close up was fucking classic Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Austin3164life Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Austin: I'm gonna whip the hell outta whoever walks through that door!! (RVD happens to casually walk in) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jobber of the Week Report post Posted April 20, 2003 "This is another conspiracy from the WWF front office, and from the ridiculous McMahon-Helmsley era!" -- Jericho, during the "Chris and Chyna are both IC champs" thing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Youth N Asia Report post Posted April 20, 2003 From the SummerSlam 2001 DVD they show some bonus footage of what happened after RAW went off the air the next night. The Alliance is covered with milk, Austin grabs the mic: SCSA: I hope you people are happy now. This was suppose to be a night to remember. This was suppose to be Stone Cold Steve Austin Appriciation Night!! (turns to Stasiak) SCSA: I got a man down over here. Are you okay? Stasiak:....... SCSA: What? Stasiak:....... SCSA: Are you okay? Stasiak:....... SCSA: What? Stasiak:...I want..... SCSA: What? Stasiak:....I want you to kick Kurt Ang..... SCSA: Are you okay? Stasiak: yes I'm fine SCSA: What? Stasiak: I'm okay SCSA: What? Stasiak: YEAH I'M OKAY!!!! SCSA: Are you okay? Stasiak: ......yes Keep in mind this was before the idiots got ahold of "What?" and it was still funny. I love that. My favorite part after the cameras go off is. Austin: "Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Alliance ain't ever going to come back to Sacramento!" *Crowd cheers* Austin: "You like that?" *crowd cheers* Austin: "Well then Stone Cold and the Alliance will come back to Sacramento real soon." *crowd boos* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Jobber of the Week Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Oh darnit, I thought of another: Christian: "Hardyz! What's up with the 'Z' in Hardyz anyway? That's like if I decided to start calling myself 'Chriztian'" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Remember right before Survivor Series '01, Austin was interrogating Alliance members to see who the mole was? When he was questioning RVD, there was some hilarious quotes. Actually, the whole thing was funny, so for your benefit and mine, here's the whole thing: (Austin dims the lights - except for a spotlight on van Dam. ) RVD:"What the hell is this?" Austin "What the hell do you THINK it is, RVD?" RVD:"Tanning sys--" Austin:"Nonono - a what?" RVD:"Tanning system?" Austin: "No it ain't a tan!" RVD: "I don't know." Austin: "You ever seen on the TV, when they sit a (beep) down in the chair, and they ask him questions, and the lights shine on 'em, it's because they want answers. It's a five syllable word called interrogation." RVD:"I used to see it on Baretta." Austin: "Do you think you're funny? Do you see me laugh? Do you know what my watch is saying?" RVD: "I've never heard that watch." Austin: "It's sayin' it's time for you to sit there, look straight ahead, and give Stone Cold Steve Austin some answers. What were you doin' out there a while ago with Booker T?" RVD:"That was just between Book and me." Austin: "If it was between Book and you, it's between you and me, because we're all a part of the Alliance, unless you got plans to go otherwise. You cost that man the WCW title. What? You're the guy, aren'cha? You're the guy. Straight ahead. You're ridin' around with Vince McMahon in the limousine. Do you think he's a great guy? It's all about Survivor Series for you, isn't it. You're gonna jump to the WWF to be a big star, this is your chance! You're the turncoat." RVD:"Oh come on, Steve. I mean, seriously, you gotta admit, if anybody knows anything about turning coats, it's you! Yeah, remember at WrestleMania? You're talkin' about how much you hated Vince? Next thing you know, you're shakin' his hands, you're huggin' him, yeah! And then at InVasion, BOOM you turn back to hating him again. Yeah, that was you! I mean, you...you know, now that I think about it...maybe Vince has a point. Maybe the mole is you." Austin:"What?" RVD:"It makes sense to me." Austin:"What? Me?" RVD:"I'm thinking maybe so." Austin:"I think it's you." Austin:"I'm saying it might be you." RVD:"I'm thinking it's you." Austin: "I don't have any more questions for you, you can leave. Thank you for coming by." RVD:"...is it you?" Austin:"I don't trust you." RVD:"See you later." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Renegade Report post Posted April 20, 2003 "I think you're a little bit jealous of Christian and myself. Is it because of the hair? Is it because of the teeth? Or is is because in Oklahoma, you just don't see teeth?" - Edge to J.R. "Such athleticism! These are the greatest athletes in the world!" - Ric Flair on DDP and Buff Bagwell "Now you're the Queen of Hardcore, but Movies don't Count!" - Chris Jericho to Stephanie "I wanna know where that Green Mist comes from, er, well i know it comes from his mouth!" - J.R. about Tajiri Angle: "Six man elimination table match with Booker T and The Dudleyz? You bet your sweet asses I'm in!" Edge: "Did he just say sweet asses?" Michael Cole: "Where did Shane, Booker T and Test come from???" Paul Heyman: "From the Locker room, where did you think they came from???" "Your Olympic Hero is scheduled to wrestle in a match against the man they call the Big Red Retard. And not that I have anything against retarded people because I don't. As a matter of fact, I have a lot of retarded fans out there that admire and respect your Olympic Champion, it's true, and I wish them well." "...not to mention our former tag-team champions lost their title after my good friend Christian got hit in the genitals with a hockey stick by a midget! I mean, enough is enough!"- Angle "And Outlaws, if you're not down with that, I got 13 words for ya, how much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood" - Mankind to Michael Cole "Well if Big Bird and Spider Man were to get it on, you'd be their lesbian child!" - Booker T to Goldust "Wow Coach, you shrunk and got white!" - The Rock to Mark Lloyd Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Edge : "Do you need me to come down for your match?" Christian: "No, come on, this one is SO in the bag, I'm TOTALLY qualified. I mean, for you to come down there tonight would be unfair, it'd be unnecessary, and totally unethical." Edge: "So you want me to come down?" Christian: "Yeah I want you to come down! Let's go!" Edge: "Cool." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Tod deKindes Report post Posted April 20, 2003 I have Jericho's introduction of the cruiserweights typed up somewhere. Funny stuff. Also, Wrestlemania 9, Macho Man: "The people are literally hanging off the rafters here tonight ... ...ok, there are no rafters, there are columns, but the people are hanging from them." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest swilk Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Chris Jericho(to Steph and Rhyno): "At SummerSlam I'm going to take care of that smelly, greasy, nasty animal...and I'm going get you too Rhyno." My all time favorites also come from this exchange. These are in reference to Steph's new boobs: Jericho (to Steph): You did say Rhyno was going to get the job done, but looking at you standing in that ring right now, I'd say you're the expert when it comes to getting the job done! JR: What does he mean by that Paul? Heyman: What are you asking me for? I don't write his stuff. Jericho goes to the split screen, before and after pics of Steph's boobs. The crowd goes nuts! JR: I don't get it. Heyman: C'mon! Look, it's all in the posture! Jericho: It seems like our billionaire princess sure has grown in the last year! Well....in two specific places at least! Talk about foreign objects! Jericho: You wanna say let the bodies hit the floor? I say let the boobies hit the floor! Steph (covering up): I don't know what you're talking about Jericho! You must have some kind of imagination! Jericho: Maybe you should allow me to take you out to dinner and we can discuss this. I hear there's a Hooters just down the street from this place! JR: OMG! Hooters! Hooters! Anyone have some WCW Jericho quotes? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Anyone have some WCW Jericho quotes? Here's one: "Well, let me tell you this: You're not the only guy from the streets brotha. I grew up on the mean streets of Calgary, Alberta Canada. I am one baaaad mamma jammma." Chris Jericho, talking to Stevie Ray Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Patty O'Green 0 Report post Posted April 20, 2003 "Monkeys learn sign language so they can say I love you to dolphins" -Saturn "The blue ones are high in fiber" -Saturn on his crayon eating Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest The Superstar Report post Posted April 20, 2003 "The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall!" -Howard Finkel Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 More WCW Jericho quotes: "AAAH! Who did this to my poster of Dean Dean?! I left it in the locker room for 5 seconds and this is what happens! I will find out who did this! I want names!" "Ralphus wants you to want me. You know, it wasn't too long ago that the bad news bears played their fateful game right here in the Astrodome and it wasn't too long ago that I destroyed that filthy Texan, Bobby Duncum Jr. Why? Because I hate cowboys! And that in turn means that all you faithful Jericholics also hate cowboys. And even though Bobby Duncum Jr. is from Texas, tonight due to all the wonderful people here who make me their hero, their role model, their paragon of virtue. I am the true hometown hero y'all!" "Now first of all Konan, I gotta congratulate you man. You are definately the greatest latino rapper since Gerardo.You are Rico Suave. Now you know I can't understand what you're talking about. I am definately not rowdy rowdy. I am definately not bouty bouty, nor do I want to be. But, I am, however, 235 pounds of twisted steel and sex appeal and Ralphus, you know exactly what I'm talking about. " ANd someone on this board has a funny one about Jericho being the TV champion..I don't know who though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Aero Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Here's some good ones from "Bitter" JR at Survivor Series 96. “Bret Hart's done a lot here in MSG. He won the WWF title here at WrestleMania X. Hey, Vince, I watched that one on PPV!” (Talking about Flash Funk's outfit) "Red and Yellow has never looked so good here in the garden, huh McMahon?” Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MaxPower27 Report post Posted April 20, 2003 When Shane was trying to call out the mole in the Alliance: Shane: What about you Kurt? You gonna turn? Austin: He will! Shane: What about you, R-V-D? Austin: He will! ::points at Booker:: Booker will! ::Austin pushes RVD:: Shane: Cause you all work for the Alliance! ::Austin pushes Kurt:: Kurt: Hey! Quit pushin' everybody! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest sean pyro Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Classic Edge/Chris/Kurt Lines: "Genital Warts rule!!!" "As they say on the streets..my bad" "You're a henosisist" "so NOT scraping the bowels of sucktatude" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 (Edge and Christian are looking at themselves in a Polaroid) Christian: "This is SO cover material!" Edge: "Tiger Beat, here we come!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest CanadianChick Report post Posted April 20, 2003 Another one (I just *had* to share this): "Canada is lacking two things...it's true. Don't make me say it again. The first is Olympic heroes - and no, Ben Johnson does not count. So it is my duty as an American hero to represent all of you as well and become the NORTH American hero. The second thing that Canada is lacking is Memorial Day (which is today, by the way) - and we in the States celebrate our war heroes by having barbecues. And I realise here in Canada, you can't have barbecues because you'd probably be attacked by a moose or a caribou - or even a grizzly - it's true! Hold on a second - you'd probably be attacked by a grizzly as well. On second thought...the Grizzlies don't beat ANYBODY here in Vancouver, let alone anywhere else - it's true, it's true" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
