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Guest Eagan469
Posted

FLjustsayno.jpg

 

Fred doesn't want you smokin' that jive, turkay!

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Guest Eagan469
Posted

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I HAVE NO SENSE OF HUMOR! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Guest JHawk
Posted

LISTER: What do you mean you don't want to leave?

RIMMER: We're happy here!

KRYTEN: We've found a niche!

RIMMER: We're the "Sensational Reverse Brothers!" We've only been here three weeks and we're a big hit!

LISTER: RIMMER, everything is backwards!

KRYTEN: We got used to it!

RIMMER: It's true! Once you get over the initial shock, things actually make a lot more sense this way 'round. There's no death here. You start off dead, you have a funeral, then you come to life! As each year passes you get younger and younger until you become a newborn baby. Then you go back inside your mother, who goes back inside her mother, ans so on, until eventually we all become one glorious whole!

LISTER: RIMMER, you already are one glorious hole! You've totally flipped, man.

KRYTEN: We want to stay!

LISTER: But we CAN'T stay! Look, I'm 25 now -- in 10 years time I'll be 15. I'll have to go through puberty again! Backwards!

CAT: Imagine that! Your gajimbas will suddenly rise back into your body, and the next thing you know you're singing soprano in the school choir!

LISTER: And worse than that -- in 25 years I'll be a little sperm, swimming around in somebody's testicles! I mean, pardon me, but that's just not how I saw my future!

RIMMER: I'm telling you, things are better this way. It's our universe that's the wrong way round.

 

KRYTEN nods in agreement.

 

KRYTEN: Take war. War is a wonderful thing here! In fifty years time, the second world war will start -- backwards!

CAT: And that's a good thing?

KRYTEN: Millions of people will come to life. Hitler will retreat across Europe, liberate France and Poland, disband the Third Reich, and bog off back to Austria!

RIMMER: We're smash hits here! We'd be crazy to leave.

LISTER: RIMMER, we don't belong here! This place is crazy!

RIMMER: Crazy? Death, disease, famine -- there's none of that here.

KRYTEN: There's no crime! The first night we were here, a mugger jumped us and forced 50 pounds into my wallet at knifepoint!

LISTER: Okay, okay! But look at the flipside of the coin. It's not all good. Take someone like, say... St. Francis of Assissi. In this universe, he's the petty-minded little sadist who goes around maiming small animals! Or Santa Claus -- what a bastard!

RIMMER: Eh?

LISTER: He's the big fat git who sneaks down chimneys and steals all the kid's favorite toys!

Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620
Posted
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How rude!

Hey man, I saw that chick on a Driven on VH1 about the Olsen Twins. She turned out pretty damn hot!~

BUT LOOK AT DJ! YEAH DJ! YES YES YES

 

candace.jpg

Find any other picture of Candice Cameron (preferrably one showing her whole body). She looks exactly the same now as she did in 5th grade, only a little taller and with kids. And I find that scary as hell.

hititiwould.jpg

Guest Anglesault
Posted
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Can't we all just get along and agree... this should NOT bve singing Talking Heads songs.

No, but it should sing Enter Sandman

Guest JHawk
Posted

If music be the food of love, then masturbation is just a snack between meals.

Guest Anglesault
Posted
I am in awe of this thread.

You're also in awe of double sided tape.

Guest JHawk
Posted

You've been a naughty girl, Miss Keibler! Go to my room!

Guest TheZsaszHorsemen
Posted

Who would win in a fight: Space Ghost or Birdman?

Guest TheZsaszHorsemen
Posted

maven.jpg

 

Why does Maven have a hard-on in this picture?

Guest JHawk
Posted

If love is a battlefield, why aren't there more dead people on the Jerry Springer Show?

Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620
Posted
Who would win in a fight: Space Ghost or Birdman?

BRAK!!!

Guest Anglesault
Posted
Ladies and gentlemen...Mr. Elton John!

elton.gif

Sir Elton John

Guest JHawk
Posted

If God is love, and love is blind, does that mean Ray Charles is God?

Guest evenflowDDT
Posted
If God is love, and love is blind, does that mean Ray Charles is God?

If he can unseat Stevie Wonder, then maybe. If not, he's just another blind man waiting in line for a piece of the divine!

Guest Anglesault
Posted

If Money makes the world go round, but money is the root of all evil, does the world spinning cause evil?

Guest JHawk
Posted

If Triple H tears another quad, but there's nobody around to hear him scream, does he refuse to job to God?

Guest Anglesault
Posted
If Triple H tears another quad, but there's nobody around to hear him scream, does he refuse to job to God?

He is God

Guest Anglesault
Posted

Random WWF trivia: Name the one thing common to all 26 (or whatever) Taker themes.

Guest JHawk
Posted
If Triple H tears another quad, but there's nobody around to hear him scream, does he refuse to job to God?

He is God

Dream conversation with Triple H:

 

 

HHH: "I am the almighty Triple H! Ask me anything!"

 

Me: You say you're God right?

 

HHH: That is correct child!

 

Me: If you're God...why that face?

 

HHH: What the...?

 

Me: It looks like you forgot to clean yourself off after a particular heavy bukkake session with Stephanie.

 

HHH: That's it! You'll now job to the Pedigree!

 

Me: Just like everybody else with more talent than you.

Guest Kotzenjunge
Posted

Back up in yo ass wit tha resurrection, it's the group harder than an erection that shows more affection! They wanna ban us on Capitol Hill, 'cause it's DIE MOTHERFUCKERS, DIE MOTHERFUCKERS, KILL!!!

Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620
Posted

The bell!

Guest Anglesault
Posted
The bell!

bell, gong, whatever you want to call it is correct

Guest The Grand Pubah of 1620
Posted

What did I win? B-)

Guest Vern Gagne
Posted

fi.jpg

 

 

 

Was Mr.Rourke God or the Devil?

Guest Anglesault
Posted
What did I win? B-)

A date with Tim Moysey

Guest AM The Kid
Posted

What ever happened to predictibility?

The milkman, the paperboy, evening TV.

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go (there's a heart).

There's a heart

A hand to hold onto.

Everywhere you look , everywhere you go.

There's a face

Of somebody who needs you.

Eveywhere you look,

When you're lost out there and you're all alone,

A light is waiting to carry you home,

Everywhere you look.

Everywhere you look.

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