The *REAL* Smackdown Spoiler Thread

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

Like I said, Choken, face heat. Don't matter if it was because the crowd thought Noble was getting some or because they wanted to see the upset, that's irrelevant.

 

I'm surprised no one else has talked about this cruiserweight jobber managing out outsmart three people to beat a heavyweight on PPV. Of course, when two of the three are blond-haired bimbos and the third a trailer park slut, that isn't too hard.

[Guest Mulatto Heat]

If that's true, then it's yet another reason that I'd put Torrie out to pasture. Once the valet because the cause of someones heat instead of the wrestler himself, it's time to end it.

Put Stacy out there too. Their only role is to siphon their heat from the horny fanboys onto wrestlers who have problems getting some of their own, but someone in management has a boner for them so they stick around instead of being put into B show and dark match purgatory where they should be.

[Guest Anglesault]

What if Billy Gunn and Noble become tag partners with Nidia and Torrie in their corners, since they are now swinging with each other? It would be an interesting tag team that is for sure.

Gunn can leech off of Noble's face heat, if Vengeance is any indication.

I thought they cheered just cuz he was gonna get laid that night...

I thought they cheered because he was facing Mr. Ass

[Guest CanadianChick]

I think Benoit is in his "man if I wasn't making 6 figures I'd be soooo out of here" phase.

Never stopped him before.

There's no competition for Benoit to go to though. Big Difference.

[Guest Downhome]

If that's true, then it's yet another reason that I'd put Torrie out to pasture. Once the valet because the cause of someones heat instead of the wrestler himself, it's time to end it.

Put Stacy out there too. Their only role is to siphon their heat from the horny fanboys onto wrestlers who have problems getting some of their own, but someone in management has a boner for them so they stick around instead of being put into B show and dark match purgatory where they should be.

Exactly, Stacey too. I've always been one to think, and always will be, that the valet should never be bigger than the wrestler they represent. I miss the days where we could have the woman, while still glowing like a star, be there with her man and not be over more than her man. Walk out, look pretty, cheat every now and then if they are a heel or cry in distress here and there if they are face, etc...

 

Woman, Elizabeth, Baby Doll, etc... I miss those days.

 

Stacey is doing nothing for Steiner and Torrie is doing nothing for Billy Gunn, other than giving off the illusion of being more over than they are, just because the fans cheer for their valet. What happens when they go different ways?

[Guest Downhome]

I think Benoit is in his "man if I wasn't making 6 figures I'd be soooo out of here" phase.

Never stopped him before.

There's no competition for Benoit to go to though. Big Difference.

Maybe no competition, but he does have an alternative.

[Guest Choken One]

I think Benoit is in his "man if I wasn't making 6 figures I'd be soooo out of here" phase.

Never stopped him before.

There's no competition for Benoit to go to though. Big Difference.

Maybe no competition, but he does have an alternative.

Oh Yeah...Go to the po Dunk Nashville company or leave your family half-way around the world.

 

 

No idiot at the age of 34 would do that...

[Guest Downhome]

I think Benoit is in his "man if I wasn't making 6 figures I'd be soooo out of here" phase.

Never stopped him before.

There's no competition for Benoit to go to though. Big Difference.

Maybe no competition, but he does have an alternative.

Oh Yeah...Go to the po Dunk Nashville company or leave your family half-way around the world.

 

 

No idiot at the age of 34 would do that...

I didn't say they were the most idel choices, but there is a choice if he got tired of the same ol' in WWE.

 

Honest to God, it might be in his best interest to go down to TNA for a while. One he is there, he would without a doubt become the centerpiece of their programs. Give him a few months there, taking their world title, and then coming back to WWE. By the time he's done in TNA, WWE might be begging him back to put him into a high profile program.

 

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now, but still, he could go off somewhere else if he really wanted to, and it COULD help him in theory.

[Guest Choken One]

I think Benoit is in his "man if I wasn't making 6 figures I'd be soooo out of here" phase.

Never stopped him before.

There's no competition for Benoit to go to though. Big Difference.

Maybe no competition, but he does have an alternative.

Oh Yeah...Go to the po Dunk Nashville company or leave your family half-way around the world.

 

 

No idiot at the age of 34 would do that...

I didn't say they were the most idel choices, but there is a choice if he got tired of the same ol' in WWE.

 

Honest to God, it might be in his best interest to go down to TNA for a while. One he is there, he would without a doubt become the centerpiece of their programs. Give him a few months there, taking their world title, and then coming back to WWE. By the time he's done in TNA, WWE might be begging him back to put him into a high profile program.

 

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now, but still, he could go off somewhere else if he really wanted to, and it COULD help him in theory.

Again...

 

Wasn't his desire and Goal to make it to the top of the business and that is without a doubt WWE. Why go back down to the lower depths of TNA for 1500 seat fans and 15000 national viewers. His name isn't big enough to drive TNA up the market...

 

 

Chris Benoit already been through enough hell Physically that he doesn't need to do that.

 

 

Benoit hasn't shown any indication that he is "frustrated" and it's merely IWC speculation/hope that Benoit is fed up with it.

[Guest CanadianChick]

There's no way a family man like Benoit would risk that money. I would imagine he puts his family first before his position in a company.

[Guest Downhome]

I think Benoit is in his "man if I wasn't making 6 figures I'd be soooo out of here" phase.

Never stopped him before.

There's no competition for Benoit to go to though. Big Difference.

Maybe no competition, but he does have an alternative.

Oh Yeah...Go to the po Dunk Nashville company or leave your family half-way around the world.

 

 

No idiot at the age of 34 would do that...

I didn't say they were the most idel choices, but there is a choice if he got tired of the same ol' in WWE.

 

Honest to God, it might be in his best interest to go down to TNA for a while. One he is there, he would without a doubt become the centerpiece of their programs. Give him a few months there, taking their world title, and then coming back to WWE. By the time he's done in TNA, WWE might be begging him back to put him into a high profile program.

 

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now, but still, he could go off somewhere else if he really wanted to, and it COULD help him in theory.

Again...

 

Wasn't his desire and Goal to make it to the top of the business and that is without a doubt WWE. Why go back down to the lower depths of TNA for 1500 seat fans and 15000 national viewers. His name isn't big enough to drive TNA up the market...

 

 

Chris Benoit already been through enough hell Physically that he doesn't need to do that.

 

 

Benoit hasn't shown any indication that he is "frustrated" and it's merely IWC speculation/hope that Benoit is fed up with it.

It is quite possible that his going to TNA, while it's much smaller, could give him a lot of what he might need to do well in WWE the very place he hopes to reach the top of. Who knows what type of work they would give him, angles, etc... It might be good for him to be on top of SOMETHING for a while, tune his skills on the mic, emotional expression, etc...

 

Besides, if he did go to TNA and won their world title and was there for a few months, he would be something of a larger name when he returned to WWE. Not only could his absense help clear the fans minds of his shortcomings in the mid-card, but his return could be really built up by WWE as a returning superstar, Kurt Angle's former rival, and a World Champion.

 

It wouldn't be the first time that someone going to another organazation helped them in the larger one.

 

Again, I'm not saying this should happen, I'm simply stating that it's possible. At times, going down can help you in your eventual rise to the top.

[Rendclaw 0]

^ And he wouldn't be the first wrestler in history to do it, either.

 

That's why though I feel bad that he has never been a serious contender for the world title aside from the Angle storyline, I can't really feel sorry for a man who is making one hell of a living and supporting his family.

[Guest Anglesault]

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now

So THAT's what it is.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[Guest Downhome]

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now

So THAT's what it is.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

I don't understand what's so funny about that. It wouldn't be the first time that someone who should be in the main event wasn't there simply because they were "in waiting", on deck so to speak. There's no way to tell one way or the other, but it is possible as it was in the past.

[Guest Choken One]

^ And he wouldn't be the first wrestler in history to do it, either.

 

That's why though I feel bad that he has never been a serious contender for the world title aside from the Angle storyline, I can't really feel sorry for a man who is making one hell of a living and supporting his family.

However...TNA isn't ECW.

 

 

Where Vince never had a problem shipping guys there...

[Guest Anglesault]

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now

So THAT's what it is.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

I don't understand what's so funny about that. It wouldn't be the first time that someone who should be in the main event wasn't there simply because they were "in waiting", on deck so to speak. There's no way to tell one way or the other, but it is possible as it was in the past.

He's been "waiting in line" three years now.

 

Downhome, I know you try to be optimistic, but don't let that distort reality. Benoit's turn isn't coming. It never will come. He's been royally fucked.

[Guest BoboBrazil]

More detailed results:

 

VELOCITY

 

(1) Matt Hardy beat Brian "Spanky" Kendrick. And we open the show with Spanky coming out. Huge pop. And his opponent is Matt Hardy (accompanied to the ring by Shannon Moore).There was some nice heel work from Matt here and, of course, Shannon got some licks in as well. There was a *GREAT* move by Matt on Spanky that started out as a Razor's Edge but ended up as a powerbomb. Spanky kicked out of that (!) but missed a moonsault and Matt quickly covered for the pin. Spanky left to cheers though. I'd say Spanky got the third biggest pop of the night.

 

(2) The Basham Brothers & Sean O'Haire beat The APA & Funaki. The Basham Brothers with Shaniqua came out next and Shaniqua gave them each a good spanking with her crop. Their tag team partner for this six man tag matchup is Sean O'Haire. They were fighting against the APA/Funaki. Normally, the only thing I hate more than a six man tag match is an eight man tag match, but this one wasn't too bad. Farooq did a good job playing the face in peril and, of course, Funaki was the designated jobber. Sean O'Haire got the pin after some light Shaniqua interference.

 

(3) Ultimo Dragon beat Nunzio. The Velocity main event was Nunzio of the FBI vs Ultimo Dragon. We were pretty far away from the entrance and we felt the heat and the breeze from Dragon's pyro. That stuff is impressive. The match was pretty good with Nunzio getting about 1/3rd of the total offense before being put down for the three count when he tried to hit an over-the-shoulder suplex on Dragon when Dragon countered by flipping over Nunzio and turning the move into almost an inverse suplex. Great move, totally fluid. Good match.

 

The WWE has a lot of cruiserweight/light heavyweight talent. It's a pity that they save the best such matches for Velocity. At least they have a place where you know you can find them.

 

They came out and advertised Brock's new shirt and shot a few of them into the crowd.

 

SMACKDOWN

 

Michael Cole and Taz come out to Taz's music.

 

And we see on the Smackdowntron Eddy putting Tajiri through his windshield and see that Eddy will be fighting Tajiri tonight for the US title.

 

Kurt Angle comes out to the second largest pop of the night. The cheering lasted for a good long while, though. The "You Suck" chant morphed somehow into a "USA!" chant. He cut a very nice promo. "Of course I won the WWE title last night! What did you expect?" "They said I'd never be back after I broke my neck, but here I am!" There was a pretty nice Angle chant here. "My dream of winning the title again came true. Damn true!"

 

Brock came out and asked for a rematch (which started up a nice "rematch" chant). Angle hemmed and hawed facetiously and then got in Brock's face and said "You're on!"

 

Which brought out Vince. Vince explained that there would not be a rematch tonight, instead he would be teaming Angle and Brock up against a tag team of his choice. He then slipped into "Satan" mode and sat on Brock's shoulder and explained how Angle was not really his friend and how Angle would stab him in the back. This got a very nice @$$hole chant going.

 

Castrol and the WWE then presented the WWE Fastlane. Chris Benoit explained how "Castrol is the ultimate tag team partner for your car." At least he's getting a commercial, I guess.

 

Next match of the night: Rey Mysterio Jr. (accompanied by Kidman) vs. Shelton Benjamin (accompanied by Charlie Haas). Early in the match, Rey went for the 619 and missed. I have made a couple of attempts to make a joke about how it is because Colorado Springs is in the 719 area code, but I can't come up with anything. Rey won with his huracanrana that starts with him sitting on his opponent's shoulders.

 

And we have our Jamie Noble Comedy Skit. He's in a hotel room his skivvies preparing for Torrie. Knock knock on the door, he gets it, It's Torrie! He invites her in and shows her the various accessories he's purchased to enhance tonight for them both. She says "I'm going to be sick" and runs into the bathroom. Sigh.

 

Rewind of the night is brought to you by S.W.A.T. We see Rhyno run in during the Eddy/Benoit match at Vengeance and cost Benoit the match.

 

Benoit comes out, Rhyno is shown on the Smackdowntron to be in the back. He cuts a pretty awful promo and drops the "S" bomb. He announces that for Chris to face him, he'll have to get through Doink. Doink? Doink comes down to the ring and walks around it entertaining the folks in the ringside seats. After about a minute of this, Benoit rolls outside, throws Doink into the ring, and proceeds to squash him Doink taps to the crossface straightaway. Benoit calls out Rhyno and Rhyno is again seen in the back. Rhyno then cuts another horrid promo and then says Benoit doesn't get to face him tonight... he's leaving the building.

 

Back to Noble's hotel room. Another knock on the door has Nidia there. Instead of shooting Jamie, she jumps his bones. Torrie's reaction shots are funny, I confess.

 

Another opportunity for them to tell us to buy merchandise including Bradshaw's new finance book.

 

We go backstage to see Brock and Angle in the locker room and they talk about whether Angle talked Vince out of giving Brock a rematch tonight. Angle brings up the very good point that at Wrestlemania XIX, they both almost killed themselves and all he did was point that out to Vince.

 

We come back to the ring and we see Eddy come out in an absolutely *CHERRY* convertible. It's *BEAUTIFUL*. But the hydraulics, for some reason, aren't working. Better check the trunk, Eddy! Oh no! Tajiri was hiding in the trunk! Tajiri punks Eddy and Eddy tries to run to the back. The ref announces that Eddy forfeits the title if he doesn't get his BUTT back to the ring and finish the match. Tajiri is absolutely on fire here. He is showing a great amount of intensity. There was a sick looking tree of woe spot, a great superplex spot, and a STIFF kick to the Eddy's head in front of the Announce Table. Back in the ring, Eddy tried for his triple suplex but Tajiri fought his way out of it. When Tajiri went for the green mist, however, he hit the ref... which allowed Eddy to grab his belt, hit Tajiri in the face with it, grab a bottle of water, wash the Mist off of the ref's face, then pin Tajiri after the Frog Splash. Great match, if a little overbooked toward the end. But what do you expect on free television?

 

Watch Jake 2.0 on UPN Wednesday!

 

We then watched a Zach Gowen retrospective that talked about his childhood and the whole leg incident.

 

Lugz boot of the Week was from when Zach kicked the steel chair into Vince's head at Vengeance.

 

Next match is Zach vs. Shannon Moore (accompanied to the ring by Matt Hardy). I could have sworn I heard a "Legs Suck!" chant at the beginning of this match. Matt probably got the biggest heel heat of the evening when he tripped Zach when Zach was attempting to "run" the ropes. A little more Matt interference later and Shannon wins the match with a schoolboy roll-up. Matt then comes into the ring and beats Zach down. *HUGE* heel heat with this.

 

And we see a trailer for The Rundown (starring The Rock). See it yourself at http://www.apple.com/trailers/universal/th...he_rundown.html This got a huge pop from the crowd.

 

The Greyhound Overdrive of the Night is brought to us by Greyhound. It's John Cena beating on the Undertaker. And now we have Cena coming out to give us a lesson in Thuganomics. He says that there will be a Cena/Taker rematch next week on Smackdown and then starts rapping about how the Undertaker and Orlando Jordan are homosexual. It's not his best freestyle but it wasn't a bad one. Orlando then comes out for a match and is promptly beaten. It's not exactly a squash, but it was close.

 

Back to Noble's Hotel Room. Noble and Nidia are recuperating and asking Torrie to join in a threesome when there is another knock on the door. It's Billy Gunn! And now we get to see his and Torrie's reaction to Noble and Nidia getting it on some more.

 

The official song of SummerSlam is St Anger by Metallica.

 

We go to the back to see Vince talking on the phone. Brock comes in and challenges Vince to a match next week. He gets it!

 

Back to the hotel room and we pan down the foot of the bed to see four pairs of post-coital feet. Ugh.

 

Sable comes out to the largest pop of the night. She shows us clips from her beating up on Steph at Vengeance and then announces that half of the tag team Brock/Angle will be fighting against tonight will be A-Train! And the other half is The Big Show. Brock comes out third, Angle fourth to yet another huge pop. Huge "Shave Your Back" chant during this match. Angle played the face in peril. Brock comes in, cleans house, hits the F5 on Big Show and then staggers into his own corner from the impact. Angle tags himself in and steals the pin. Brock is noticeably upset by this and gives Angle an F5.

 

At this point, Vince comes out and announces that next week will be Vince vs. Brock in a Steel Cage! And the special guest ref will be... KURT ANGLE!!!!

pwtorch.com

 

It looks like Gowen vs Matt Hardy at Summerslam.

[Guest Downhome]

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now

So THAT's what it is.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

I don't understand what's so funny about that. It wouldn't be the first time that someone who should be in the main event wasn't there simply because they were "in waiting", on deck so to speak. There's no way to tell one way or the other, but it is possible as it was in the past.

He's been "waiting in line" three years now.

 

Downhome, I know you try to be optimistic, but don't let that distort reality. Benoit's turn isn't coming. It never will come. He's been royally fucked.

That's quite possibly, and more than likely, true. Still, there have been times in the past where people were apparently just being wasted before given their run with a title. Look at even the Eddy situation. There is talk of his getting the title before this year is over, from Kurt Angle.

 

If I remember correctly, Eddy and Benoit have been in WWE for the exact same ammount of time, other than an injury here and there and Eddy's absense after his being fired for drugs (I believe). If Eddy could possibly finally get his chance, then Benoit could do so also.

[Guest CanadianChick]

Sable comes out to the largest pop of the night.

 

That saddens me.

[Guest Anglesault]

I personally think he's ok where he is and that he'll eventually get his turn as he's just in line right now

So THAT's what it is.

 

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

I don't understand what's so funny about that. It wouldn't be the first time that someone who should be in the main event wasn't there simply because they were "in waiting", on deck so to speak. There's no way to tell one way or the other, but it is possible as it was in the past.

He's been "waiting in line" three years now.

 

Downhome, I know you try to be optimistic, but don't let that distort reality. Benoit's turn isn't coming. It never will come. He's been royally fucked.

That's quite possibly, and more than likely, true. Still, there have been times in the past where people were apparently just being wasted before given their run with a title. Look at even the Eddy situation. There is talk of his getting the title before this year is over, from Kurt Angle.

 

If I remember correctly, Eddy and Benoit have been in WWE for the exact same ammount of time, other than an injury here and there and Eddy's absense after his being fired for drugs (I believe). If Eddy could possibly finally get his chance, then Benoit could do so also.

Six months ago, there were plans to give Benoit the belt at Summerslam.

 

::Looks at Summerslam::

 

::Looks at Downhome::

 

::Looks at Summerslam::

 

::Looks at Downhome::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Sable comes out to the largest pop of the night.

 

That saddens me.

THIS makes me laugh.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Castrol and the WWE then presented the WWE Fastlane. Chris Benoit explained how "Castrol is the ultimate tag team partner for your car." At least he's getting a commercial, I guess.

 

I don't know why, but as soon as I read this, the image of Chris Benoit putting Tony Stewart in the Crippler Crossface popped in my head.

[Lil' Bitch 0]

Six months ago, there were plans to give Benoit the belt at Summerslam.

 

Six months ago, Paul Heyman was around...

[ANKLELOCK 0]

The ref will be Kurt Angle?? I smell screw job.

[Guest Showstoppa Icon]

Sable comes out to the largest pop of the night.

 

That saddens me.

THIS makes me laugh.

that makes baby jesus cry

[Guest Coffey]

Moore/Gowan

You say that like it's a good thing...

[King Cucaracha 0]

Moore/Gowan

You say that like it's a good thing...

Yeah but Gowan jobs, so you should all be very happy.

 

 

Seriously, we get Eddie-Tajiri...Benoit wins, and is put in a meaningful feud for once...Rey-Benjamin...Gowan jobs to Shannon Moore...Angle wins again...we have two matches announced in advance for next week so they obviously are planning ahead...we get Gowan dropped down the card like you wanted AS(although you'll probably reply with some bull about he shouldn't even be a wrestler because he's only got one leg etc)...

 

And on the bad side? Some skits with Noble/Torrie/Nidia/Gunn. And people are still complaining.

[Guest NoCalMike]

Vince vs. Brock? Give me a fucking break. This should be an even bigger squash than Shane/Kane....well I dunno about that, but this is just shit. Vince wrestling on PPV aint enough I guess....Look for Steph/Sable II in a week or two.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

*sighs, leaves thread again*

 

 

Guys its only a TV show, shut it off if it upsets you. I've been watching for 20 years, and when the crap is on, I turn the channel. Posting 8000 times on a message board does nothing.

[Guest Boo_Bradley]

Vince vs. Brock? Give me a fucking break. This should be an even bigger squash than Shane/Kane....well I dunno about that, but this is just shit. Vince wrestling on PPV aint enough I guess....

Since 1999 Vince has always been promoted as someone who can and is willing to take a beating. Out of the Dozens of matches Vince has been in, he has won 3 I believe (Vs Shane on Raw/ vs HHH on SD!/ and vs Flair on Raw) so the suspension of belief is justified IMO. Age is just a number, Vince may be older, but should he immeditly be completely inept defensively because of it?

 

*Boo Realizes he's leaving open holes for his argument to be blown apart with*