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Do You Fit The Drink?

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Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts. The results:

 

IF WOMEN DRINK:

Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Drink: Blender drinks with umbrella.

Personality: Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.

Approach: Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

 

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

 

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

 

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

 

Drink: Baileys

Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.

Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

 

Drink: Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).

Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

 

 

IF MEN DRINK - As always, very simple and clear cut.

 

Cider: He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

 

Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor/student and wants to get laid.

 

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

Imported Beer: He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid.

 

Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

 

Wine: He's hoping that the wine thing will give him class and help him get laid.

 

Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

 

Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

 

Whiskey: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

 

Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whiskey drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting,crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

 

Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

 

Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc: He's gay (Blatantly!)

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Guest Fook
Cheap Domestic Beer: He's poor/student and wants to get laid.

 

Can't argue with the truth.

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Guest Agent of Oblivion
Whiskey: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

 

Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

 

PSYCHIC

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Guest Sturgis

Jack Daniels: Not as masculine as the whiskey drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting,crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

 

Since I don't know anything about knitting and such I think this one is pretty inaccurate.

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Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

 

Port: Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

 

Tequila: Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

I guess my pops is a sophisticated fighting rapist who likes men.

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Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

Im not old.

 

Guinness: The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

 

I hope that isnt true about me :(

 

According to this, my old age isnt looking very good is it.

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Guest stardust
Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

 

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

 

Drink: Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).

Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

 

So according to this, I'm a low-maintenance, down to earth mature woman who knows what she wants but who thinks she's trendy and sophisticated but all she's really wanting is to get laid. Hmmm.

 

And for the record, I'll only drink Smirnoff Triple Black's every now and then..I honestly prefer mixed drinks or shots, so I guess that really means I'm a woman who knows what she wants--to get drunk and/or laid or possibly both.

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Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

 

Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)

Personality: Conservative and classy, sophisticated.

Approach: Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

 

Drink: Shots (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).

Personality: Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.

Approach: Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

Well I sure do fall into alot. Although it does kinda sum me up in a nutshell.

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Guest Eagan469
Vodka: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

 

Damn straight.

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Guest SweetNSexyDiva
Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Drink: Mixed drinks - no umbrellas

Personality: Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants. Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

 

Drink: Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc

Personality: Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has absolutely no clue.

Approach: Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

 

Drink: Baileys

Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.

Approach: Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

Well... I guess I am low maintenance, but picky, without a clue, and a bit of a tart.

 

:P

 

Actually, the only thing that is really accurate is that I am laid back and casual. And definitely low maintenance.

 

I also have a sad story about the Smirnoff Ice. My husband and I.... cruel but true.... call it date rape. We know so many girls that have gotten fucked up at the bar or even bringing the bottles of Smirnoff Ice themselves to the military bases and getting raped. And, military police are not so sympathetic, that we have found, for those rape victims. And for some reason, it is always the damn Smirnoff. I like Smirnoff Ice Black... but I usually don't have more than 1 bottle. Plus, I don't hang out with military men regularly and get fucked up.

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Guest Fire and Knives
Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

 

Whiskey: He doesn't give two shits about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

Bartenders are smart people.

 

K.

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Guest Vitamin X
Vodka or Brandy: Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

 

Premium Local Beer: He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

 

These things got me to a TEE.

Ditto.

 

Fave drink: Straight Vodka shots to get fucked up. Fun stuff.

 

Fave beer: Rolling Rock. Mmmmm. It's probably the refreshing green bottle that makes you think it'll taste better than it actually is, but it's quite good.

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IF WOMEN DRINK:

Drink: Beer.

Personality: Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.

Approach: Challenge her to a game of pool.

 

Sounds about right. What if a girl drinks cider though?

She hates beer and likes to get ripped.

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