The One and Only Calvin Szechstein Thread!

[Chuck Woolery 0]

::mysteriously sends Zack an email with directions to Clan::

 

Don't tell him it was me. *giggle*

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

::Out of boredom, Plushy drives to WWE headquarters. Plushy finds the blueprint for the RAW storylines for the next few weeks, and makes drastic changes. Ladies and Gentlemen your new RAW champion, Mabel::

[Damaramu 0]

WHAT!? That's it!

*finds Smackdown blueprints and alters them*

Ladies and Gentleman SD! has become a terrorist organization and has bombed the Raw Champions home.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

::Continues RAW alterations. Ladies and Gentlemen, Goldberg had sex with Katie Vick, which made Kane jealous, and he fucked her to death::

[Zack Malibu 0]

::Continues RAW alterations. Ladies and Gentlemen, Goldberg had sex with Katie Vick, who was revealed to be Scott Vick doing a transvestite gimmick. This has outed Kane, however he gets to keep the pyro with his new "Flamer Kane" gimmick::

There. Not as graphic, and downright hilarious. Who wouldn't love Gay Kane? Y'know, BESIDES Bradshaw.

[Papacita 0]

*Joins the alteration trend by booking the Chyna/Tazz Wrestlemania ME he's been predicting for the last 4 years*

[Zack Malibu 0]

JR:"SHE'S A HOSS, A HOSS BAH GAWmmmfmfmfmfmfmfmfffff."

 

Offended, Papacita sneaks up behind JR, and chokes him out with an ether rag.

[Damaramu 0]

*Joins the alteration trend by booking the Chyna/Tazz Wrestlemania ME he's been predicting for the last 4 years*

*produces one of the Mick Foley magic contracts from his briefcase*

I'm using this hear Magic Contract to make Papacita the special guest referee of that match....oh and Chyna has to wrestle buck naked.

[Papacita 0]

*Boots Tazz out of the match and makes it Papacita vs Chyna...loser must sleep with the winner*

 

Now that's a match.

[Zack Malibu 0]

::Readies video camera outside hotel window...::

[Damaramu 0]

*produces second magical contract*

It is done Papa.

[Papacita 0]

*does victory dance*

[Guest Sturgis]

*In his first offcial act as part of the OAOAST HeldDOWN roster Sturgis hits Papacita with frying pan and goes to fuck Chyna himsef*

[Zack Malibu 0]

Oooh SHIT. That's heeldom if I ever saw it.

[Papacita 0]

*hits Sturgis with a big ass Xerox machine then puts the boots to him*

[Damaramu 0]

*joins Papacita*

Man I'm running out of magic contracts! I didn't waste that one for nothing!

*hits Sturgis with briefcase*

[Guest Sturgis]

God damnit I've not even been here for a day and already I'm getting my ass kicked.

[Zack Malibu 0]

God damnit I've not even been here for a day and already I'm getting my ass kicked.

Eh, it's just part of the initiation. Remember what I said, these threads don't hold anything over your actual storylines.

 

So...

 

::Gets everyone to help him give Sturgis a super wedgie.::

[Damaramu 0]

*gives Zack the dreaded....MELVIN~!*

What do you think of that! You might as well join the boys choir now!

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

::Runs in with both cronies, and pummels Zack and Damaramu. Jason destroys Damaramu with hoss moves, while Scott Kieth delivers mulitiple Server Crashes (Earthquake) to Zack::

[Damaramu 0]

*Damaramu manages to reverse a powerbomb into a hurricarana. Dama is the first to his feet and begins to unload with rights and lefts. Then he produces the TEXAS BELT BUCKLE and cuts Jason's head off with it. Suddenly though Scott Keith eats the Texas Belt Buckle....*

Oh man........where's my OU belt buckle? It's even bigger than the WCW world title!

*tries to hold Keith off with various food products while he digs for OU buckle*

[Zack Malibu 0]

::Sends numerous net geeks who hang on his every word for Keith's autograph. He faints from exhaustion.::

[Papacita 0]

:Walks through...snatches SK's wallet and runs:

[Zack Malibu 0]

Dude, he's a net writer. How much can he possibly make?

[Papacita 0]

Ah...I'm sure it's worth something on the black market.

 

I mean, who wouldn't pay good money for this stuff. :Flips through wallet: I mean, look at this...credit cards...driver's license...nude Chris Benoit pics...hey wait a minute. What the hell?!

[Damaramu 0]

Wait that's not Benoit! That's Benoit's head on HHH's body!

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

::SK clotheslines everyone, and stacks them all on top of each other. SK then delivers a mighty Banzai drop::

[Papacita 0]

:Feeds SK the FORBIDDEN DONUT~!, turning him into a hideous half-man/half-goat type creature:

[alfdogg 0]

mmmm....forbidden donut...

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

:Feeds SK the FORBIDDEN DONUT~!, turning him into a hideous half-man/half-goat type creature:

Wait.....what was he before???