PROMO: Brian Bowers - Facing My Daemons

[Guest Ten Ton Lid]

EDIT: Thanks SA - good call. I threw in some line breaks.

 

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[The scene opens in a gravel field behind a fairground, somewhere on the outskirts of Albany, New York.

Brian Bowers and Kate Elliot are leaning on the familiar blue-and-bondo Chevy van, with a selection of the signature items from various convenience stores in hand or sitting in and around Kate Elliot’s backpack, which is sitting open on the drivers’ seat of the van. Brian Bowers is still wearing his ring gear from Wrath, and has his upper right arm bandaged with white athletic tape. He’s got a ludicrously oversived travel mug in one hand and a near-finished cigarette in the other. Kate Elliot is at least wearing a different t-shirt, this time an ironically-worn free-in-a-24 Molson Canadian Rocks logo shirt. She waits impatiently, glancing at Brian Bowers, then the camera as, well aware that the camera is running, Bowers finishes his smoke and drops the BUTT on the gravel. He exhales through his nose, takes a pull from his mug, then sets it down, before looking up at the camera. The process takes an agonizingly slow twenty seconds of dead air.]

 

[brian Bowers straightens up his back and steps forward from the van. In a confident (and outright condescending) tone, almost managing a grin, Bowers addresses the camera. “In the words of a real Canadian legend, Sam the Record Man, “I said it, I did it!”. I won my debut match, and won it decisively, despite the blatant double-team tactics of Tommy Nguyen and Craig McLennan. This was apparently the first big test, the big challenge to see if a former SFWL World Heavyweight champion is good enough for their fucking Junior League. And I think I did pretty well for myself, considering the odds. Sure, I took some shots, but I played both those fuckups like the proverbial fiddle, without Kivell being able to do a damn thing about i....

 

... Kate Elliot cuts Bowers off, sharply exhaling “You played them? You would have tapped out to Nguyen if I hadn’t pulled off that fucking masterwork of deception!”

 

“Masterwork of deception?”, Bowers sneers back, “you threw a soda can into the ring.”.

 

“Now I can see how you wouldn’t notice everything I was doing,” Kate responds, getting louder and enunciating more dramatically, “considering you were getting your ass kicked at the time, but trust me, I did a hell of a lot more than “throw a soda can into the ring”. Maybe we should watch the fucking tape, so I can show you the half-dozen times you would have lost the match if it wasn’t for me!”.

 

Brian Bowers resignedly attempts to change the subject, flatly muttering “Fine, whatever. You’re the manager of champions. Great. Let’s talk about my next match, then. This Friday, at SJL Crimson, I’m facing another newcomer, “Daemon”. Apparently, I’m supposed to be intimidated by this cocksmash because he has a tattoo and scary entrance music. But Daemon, buddy, I’ve seen shit in the SFWL that you couldn’t even imagine!”.

 

[brian Bowers is really getting on a roll now, talking loudly and emphatically.]

 

“Every time some punk teenager watched a fifth-generation XPW dub, I had to deal with a “masochistic freak who loves pain”. Every time someone watched a scary movie, I ended up booked against any number of “dark” wrestlers with generic “evil” names. Daemon, I’ve fought...and beaten...vampires, skeletons, one guy who I think was supposed to be an evil angel or something, and an entire stable of evil fucking clowns. I’ve got no fucking reason to be scared of you.”

 

Kate Elliot actually joins in on-topic, suddenly looking mock-serious and over-intoning “But Brian! Haven’t you read

the press release? He “sees pain almost as a gift”! He likes it!”

 

“So lets back him over with the van – then everyone’s a winner” Bowers replies flatly. He then looks directly into the camera, and, in his trademark “serious” tone, states as if directly to his upcoming opponent, “Daemon, if you claim to “like” pain, you haven’t fucking felt it yet. At Crimson, Daemon, you're going to experience real pain - trust me, you might enjoy your fucking existential angst, but it's a lot fucking harder to find an upside to being dropped on your head! As I’ve already demonstrated, the referee isn’t a factor for me. I’ve outsmarted better officials than this league has to offer for eighteen years, and” (suddenly Bowers’ voice is bleeding sarcasm, as he sneers “I’ve got the greatest wrestling mind of all time on my side.”

 

Kate Elliot’s mood abruptly changes, as she snarls “Fuck off, Brian. If it wasn’t for me, you’d be reduced to bush-league psyche-out shit like that stunt at the beginning of the match!”.

 

“Of course it was bush-league, Kate”, Bowers fires back “this is the fucking bush league!”.

 

Kate Elliot is really pissed, now, practically screaming “That stunt made my life a hell of a lot harder, Brian! The only reason I had to do all that shit with the can instead of just hitting Nguyen with a fucking chair was to make it look that was like part of some plan, not just you being a fucking dumbass! You know, because I’m always the one who ends up running around in circles trying to prevent us from looking like idiots!”.

 

Bowers, again at a disadvantage in the argument, changes the subject:

“Well, the point is, I don’t need to remain within the rules if that’s what it takes to beat you, Daemon. If I want to choke you, I can. If I want to use a weapon, I can. Hell, I can kick you in the balls right in front of the referee, and convince him it was a fucking wristlock!” . Bowers forces a chuckle...“but Daemon, I know you’re not taking me seriously. You’re laughing this off as me talking shit. But you won’t be laughing after THIS!”

 

Kate Elliot looks like she’s anticipating something really fucking stupid. “You’re not really doing the bit, are you, Brian?”.

 

Brian Bowers is now fully in character, attempting a cracking “devil” voice.

“Of course I’m doing the bit...I mean...performing this demonstration of the sheer evil that I am capable of! The only hope for Daemon’s life, his very soul, is for him to recognize the magnitude of my power and forfeit the match!”

 

[brian Bowers grabs Kate Elliot’s backpack from the front seat and walks a few feet toward the camera. Turning his back to block the camera, he reaches into the backpack, and looks over his shoulder with a scowl.]

 

“You think you’re so tough ‘cause you’re evil? Well, guess what – I’m evil too, and my dark powers are far greater than yours! You like evil, Daemon? You like pain and brutatilty and horror? Well, let’s see how you like THIS! Kate...the devil music, please!”

 

[Kate Elliot doesn’t look too thrilled about being asked to do anything, but is genuinely shocked by the fact that Bowers said ‘please’, if only for some perceived dramatic effect. She leans into the van, turns the key counterclockwise in the ignition to kick in the battery, and turns on the stereo. “I’ve Got A Fang” by They Might Be Giants, already cued up on cassette, begins playing at a high volume through the van’s tinny, vaguely staticked speakers.]

 

As the music begins, Brian Bowers bares his front teeth in a disturbing grin and slowly runs his tongue across them.

 

(song lyrics) “Glistening white, triangular tooth, open up a can of tomato juice...

I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang”.

 

He turns around to face the camera, and pulls a county-fair-grade stuffed Hello Kitty knockoff from the backpack.. Holding it up over his head with both hands, Brian Bowers closes his eyes and mutters some nonsense syllables as he walks forward.

 

(song lyrics) “Girlfriend took me to meet her dad, didn’t like me because I looked so bad...

I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang.”

 

He sets it on the ground, maybe thrity feet away from the van, and takes something else out of the backpack – a three-quarters full twenty-sixer of Sambuca...with a curse on it! Literally...“hell” is written on it in black nail polish, along with “666”, “fuck” and a really poor rendition of a skull.)

 

(song lyrics) “Girlfriend took me to meet her mom, her head exploded like a atom bomb...

I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fanhhhhh..”

 

Kate Elliot takes offense to this latest turns of events. She reaches into the van and stops the tape just as the bridge begins, snapping “I was saving that, fuckwit!”at Bowers. Brian looks over at her with what he’s genuinely trying to make look like hollow, evil eyes and sneers “we must all make sacrifices...for EEEEEVIL! And never interrupt the dark lord’s music again!!”

 

[Kate, realizing that the bit has gotten way out of hand (and that there’s no way she’s saving her bottle), resignedly turns the music back on.

Brian Bowers proceeds to pour the Sambuca on the gravel, quickly drawing the world’s shittiest pentagram around the toy cat as the song plays out. Kate Elliot is standing by the van, staring holes through Bowers.]

 

(song lyrics) “I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang.

Glistening white, triangular tooth, open up a can of tomato juice...

I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang, I’ve got a fang.”

 

[brian Bowers douses the stuffed animal with the remaining Sambuca, then throws his head back and laughs maniacally.

Unfortunately, the song already ended, really taking away from the overall effect.

“Hatred brings strength! As this burns, so shall all...fucking...people...or something!”

 

Bowers takes a grey disposable lighter out of his pocket, and turning his head to the side to un-evilly shield himself from the forthcoming flames, flicks it and touches the flame to the Sambuca pentagram. He jerks his arm back, and winces as he does so.

The pentagram and stuffed animal instantly go up in blue flames, with the toy charring black almost instantly and pouring out a massive cloud of noxious synthetic-materials smoke. The smoke immediately blows over Bowers, Kate Elliot and the van, and the pentagram still doesn’t look all that great.

Kate Elliot covers her face, as Brian Bowers coughs, appropriately enough, like a fiend.

Kate ducks into the van, slamming the driver's door behind her, and immediately starts rolling up the window.]

 

“Nice move, genius!”, Kate Elliot wheezes.

 

Brian Bowers, still coughing, makes his way around to the passenger side. As he steps into the van, he leans back out to hack out “Hatred brings strength! Bring it on, Daemon!” and a lame cackle. Other than a few small, orangish flames still going on the charred toy kitten, the fire has already gone out as the camera fades.

 

“I can’t believe we blew thirty bucks on that.”

Edited September 10, 2003 by Ten Ton Lid

[Secret Agent 0]

Wow. I like this, except for the non-spacing of one charaters dialoge to the nexts. You have one really huge paragraph that makes it a little hard to read because it's all crammed together.

 

On a side note, I like your style, and I think you can be a valuable asset to the JL. I'm anxious to see your match on Crimson.

 

Good Job!

[Guest Goodear]

You're my mother fucking hero.

 

Seriously, these are the types of promos I think the whole world should see and appreciate. I know I'm gushing like a machine here but having They Might Be Giants play your Satan music~! Stable full of EVIL CLOWNS~! Kate ELLIOT~! Hello Kitty BURNS~!~!~! Hail to the king.

 

From Instanbule, Not Constantinople

 

Ejiro

[Above Average 0]

Just handle the spacing, so that it's easier to read and it's money~! Your valent Kate is a very entertaining character. Keep it up.

[WrestlingDeacon 0]

I'm against random swearing, no matter how much it fits your character. I always have to ask people what channel they think our shows are on, HBO? Although swearing does seem natural here and helps to get the rawness of the scene over.

 

The line breaks do help, but your basic structure is still off from standard english. I'm probably the only person this bothers.

 

I like the detailed setup you give to the scene before Bowers speaks. It gives a very clear visual.

 

I don't like Bowers dissing the SJL ever. If the SJL is so beneath him, than why is he here? Why does he want to dominate a place that sucks? And if the SFWL was so great, why did he leave them? You need to tweak that theme that Bowers wants to take over the JL to prove himself and earn a spot in the WF, whom he does hold in high regard.

 

I love how he cuts down Daemon by bringing in his history in the SFWL and his greater experience in the ring. That really helps to develop his character.

 

I like the sarcastic antagonim between Kate and Bowers. It's an interesting dynamic and I'll be waiting to see how that relationship develops in the coming weeks.

 

I question them talking about bush league pysche out shit, and then doing bush league pysche out shit. That really tips your hand.

 

Promos that involve song lyrics suck and I drive to the houses of people who write them and beat them with an oyster mallet. I wrote a promo set to the Super Bowl Shuffle just to show people how fucking stupid a gimmick it is. However, it works in this circumstance as the music is integrated into the scene and is used in a very mocking manner. It's very winking at just how stupid the whole bit is and playing into things in this way, I don't mind it.

 

I really like the overall tone of the piece and am digging the way you're fleshing out the characters of Bowers and Kate. While Bowers really comes off like a Sandman clone, this promo went a long way to add some humor and dimension to him and the relationship with his valet. The promo was funny and did everything a first promo should do to help establish a character.

 

Daemon, you BETTER do a reply promo.

[Guest ToddRoyal]

Overall, a pretty good promo that got the basic character of Bowers over to everyone. Little constructive criticism, even if a lot of it is just stuff Deacon mentioned.

 

I HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, LOATHE when people come into a promotion talking about what they accomplished in other feds, how they were ""97x World Champion of the ABCWF" or something, and uses it to put the whole roster down. I almost always write a cocky heel character and I try to avoid using that at all costs because it is pretty bad cheap heat. No one could care less what a character did in some fed the writer could be making up. Show us what you WILL do.

 

And, like Deacon said, putting the SJL down as Bush-league and then doing the little song-and-dance routine seemed odd.

 

That aside however, it was a good promo in that it got Bower's and Kate's characters, as well as the relationship between them, over.

[Rawknight 0]

Groovy Promo.. obvious RP fed experience showing not just from the win claims but also from the Style and that. Very polished.

 

Course no violent screaming and threats of Anal Violation, but not everyone can write like the Maori!

 

Last Post on all three boards for the first time in my SWF career!

[Guest Ten Ton Lid]

Just some explanation re: Bowers' character, as his bio doesn't fully establish it, except for one quote -

"As Bowers himself will explain, in great detail, at any opportunity, he was one of the most successful wrestlers in history of the recently-closed SFWL".

 

One note about the "former champion", "i hate it here" stuff - that was deliberately over the top, but I didn't explain the joke and I'm not sure why I assumed anyone would actually get it.

 

As explained in the first promo and bio in the stats, the SFWL is gone because it went out of business - and its closing is my (as in me out-of-character's) fault, as I was heavily involved at the time, and totally slacked. Every time Bowers won a title, it was because someone else quit while carrying it, or because he was the last person left in the division. The point of this material is to establish Bowers as an ingrate and shit-talker who's actually lost when he's in a situation of any importance/where anything's actually at stake. I should have writen in more Kate Elliot stuff in the promo to give the backstory on this and make it look less literal. It's a major character weakness that offers one direction to go when incorporating Bowers into something - the idea isn't that he's an invincible former champion, it's that he doesn't realize that he kind of sucks.

 

So, to summarize (for responses, anyone writing Bowers in a match that needs to get an idea of his personality/approach, etc.), Bowers is basically, he's an aging former champion - and not a good one - from a real backwater fed who thinks this entitles him to everything in the world, and he's only starting at the bottom of the bigs when he has to, when his sheer natural talent, brilliance and unmatched athletic ability entitled him to a World Title shot the minute he finished the "S" in his signature on his contract. The real joke with Bowers is that he's more or less completely delusional - he occasionally manages an insight into his own opponent, but he has no idea of the massive discrepancy between the inside of his head and the real world. (SEE: His talking about being a great submission wrestler and managing to apply one submission hold vs. Nguyen and McLennan)

 

The over-the-top sell of how great he is is part of the character, I just didn't do as well of a job making it clear that his achievements mostly don't exist, or are irrelevant and happened six years ago. Plus, I'm going to stop throwing in inside jokes for my own benefit - that obviously takes away from the intent of my promos.

[Guest Ten Ton Lid]

And, like Deacon said, putting the SJL down as Bush-league and then doing the little song-and-dance routine seemed odd.

That's kind of the joke. It's meant as weird meta-comedy, and to show that Bowers is pretty much completely out of it. And to play up the Bowers/Elliot dynamic.

[WrestlingDeacon 0]

So, to summarize (for responses, anyone writing Bowers in a match that needs to get an idea of his personality/approach, etc.), Bowers is basically, he's an aging former champion - and not a good one - from a real backwater fed who thinks this entitles him to everything in the world, and he's only starting at the bottom of the bigs when he has to, when his sheer natural talent, brilliance and unmatched athletic ability entitled him to a World Title shot the minute he finished the "S" in his signature on his contract. The real joke with Bowers is that he's more or less completely delusional - he occasionally manages an insight into his own opponent, but he has no idea of the massive discrepancy between the inside of his head and the real world. (SEE: His talking about being a great submission wrestler and managing to apply one submission hold vs. Nguyen and McLennan)

 

So, he's Shane Douglas.

[Guest Ten Ton Lid]

So, to summarize (for responses, anyone writing Bowers in a match that needs to get an idea of his personality/approach, etc.), Bowers is basically, he's an aging former champion - and not a good one - from a real backwater fed who thinks this entitles him to everything in the world, and he's only starting at the bottom of the bigs when he has to, when his sheer natural talent, brilliance and unmatched athletic ability entitled him to a World Title shot the minute he finished the "S" in his signature on his contract. The real joke with Bowers is that he's more or less completely delusional - he occasionally manages an insight into his own opponent, but he has no idea of the massive discrepancy between the inside of his head and the real world. (SEE: His talking about being a great submission wrestler and managing to apply one submission hold vs. Nguyen and McLennan)

 

So, he's Shane Douglas.

Heh. At least Douglas can sometimes pull it off (and doesn't have his conscience manifested literally in a manager) - but Bowers always comes off looking like an ass (see: him completely blowing the comedy bit). And Douglas does have some legitimate acheivements - Bowers also lays claim to numerous titles that may never have existed, and has beaten people there's a good chance he imagined entirely, but you'd better believe they were the toughest around.

Edited September 11, 2003 by Ten Ton Lid