justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Drunkenly discusses what an asshole Chave is with rest of TSMers::: :::Approaches Chave::: "HEY! Don't be such a fucking pussy! Do some fucking karaoke!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EL BRUJ0 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 * violently grabs the mic* "This one's called: I Cum Blood!" Swollen with liquid Ready to burst A load of my lymph Will quench this dead body's thirst One month in the grave twisted and half decayed She turned a putrid yellow I pissed in her maggot filled asshole Fucking the rotting My semen is bleeding The smell of decay Seeps from her genital cavity The smell was unbearable As I unburied her I cum blood from my erection I feel it run down her throat, swallow Eyes glassy and vacant body dug up to play with Skin greasy and naked tounguing her rotted anus I need a live woman to fill with my fluid A delicate girl, to mutilate, fuck and kill her body exceptional she thought I was normal but I wanted more I came blood inside of her chocking on the clot gagging on the snot gushing blood, from her mouth bloody gel leaking out Body buried in a shallow grave Unmarked for none to find The sickness I have left behind Undetected go my crimes The greatest thrill of my life To slit my own cock with a knife Violent, climax Serging serum on my skin Back from the dead I am resurrected to spew, putrefaction Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Wakes up Mario and offers him free booze to mop up the puke from the dance floor after hearing that last number. Ironically, the singing on it was good.:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::grabs the mic: Fish heads fish heads Roly poly fish heads Fish heads fish heads Eat them up Yum In the morning laughing happy fish heads In the evening floating in the soup Ask a fish head anything you want to They won't answer they can't talk I took a fish head out to see a movie Didn't have to pay to get it in They can't play baseball they don't wear sweaters They're not good dancers they don't play drums Roly poly fish heads are never seen Drinking cappuccino in Italian restaurants with Oriental women Yeah. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Gets scissor and cuts holes in the back of my pants, and breaks back into the bar:: I'm just a gigolo And everywhere I go People know the part I'm playin' Pay for every dance Selling each romance Ooh, what they sayin' There will come a day When youth will pass away What will they say about me When the end comes I know That I'm just a gigolo Life goes on without me I'm just a gigolo and everywhere I go People know the part Dave's playin' Pay for every dance Selling each romance Ooh, what they sayin' But there will come a day When youth will pass away What will they say about me When the end comes I know That I'm just a gigolo Life goes on without me 'Cause I ain't got nobody Nobody cares about me Nobody, nobody cares for me I'm so sad and lonely Sad and lonely, sad and lonely Won't some sweet Mama Come and take a chance with me Coz I ain't so bad I heard the news baby All about your disease Yeah, you may have all you want baby But I got somethin' you need. Oh, yeah! Ain't talkin' 'bout love My love is rotten to the core Ain't talkin' 'bout love Just like I told you before. Yeah, before You know you're semi-good lookin' And on the streets again Ooh yeah, you think you're really cookin' baby You better find yourself a friend, my friend Ain't talkin' 'bout love My love is rotten to the core Ain't gonna talk about love Just like I told you before! Before! Uh, before! Uh, before! Before! (Guitar Solo) Ain't talkin' 'bout love Babe, it's rotten to the core Ain't talkin' bout love Just like I told you before. Uh, before I been to the edge And there I stood and looked down You know I lost a lot of friends there baby I got no time to mess around Mmm, so if you want it, got to bleed for it baby Yeah! Got to, got to bleed, baby Mmm, you got to, got to bleed, baby Hey! Got to, got to bleed baby Ain't talkin' 'bout love My love is rotten to the core Ain't talkin' 'bout love Just like I told you before! Before! Before! Ain't talkin' 'bout love Don't wanna talk about love Don't need to talk about love Ain't gonna talk about love No more! No more! Ahhh! (Guitar Solo) Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey! Uh! Oh yeah! Ah-huh! Jump back, what's that sound? Here she comes, full blast and top down Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue Model citizen, zero discipline Don't ya know she's coming home with me You'll lose her in that turn I'll get her! Panama, Panama Panama, Panama Ain't nothin' like it, her shiny machine Got the feel for the wheel, keep the movin' parts clean Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue Got an on-ramp comin' through my bedroom Don't you know she's coming home with me You'll lose her in that turn I'll get her Uh-oh! Panama, Panama. Wow! Panama, Panama oh-oh-oh-oh Woo! (Guitar Solo) Yeah, we're runnin' a little bit hot tonight I can barely see the road from the heat comin' off You know what I'm sayin' Ahh, you reach down put it between my legs n' ease the seat back She's runnin', I'm flyin' Right behind in the rearview mirror now Got the fearin', power steerin' Pistons poppin', ain't no stoppin' now Panama, Panama Panama, Panama oh-oh-oh-oh Panama, Panama oh-oh-oh-oh Panama Owwww! I get up, and nothin' gets me down You got it tough, I've seen the toughest around And I know, baby, just how you feel You got to roll with the punches and get to what's real Ah, can't ya see me standin' here I got my back against the record machine I ain't the worst that you've seen Ah, can't ya see what I mean? Ah, might as well jump. Jump! Might as well jump Go ahead an' jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump Ow-oh! Hey, you! Who said that? Baby, how you been? You say you don't know, you won't know until you begin So can't ya see me standing here I got my back against the record machine I ain't the worst that you've seen Ah, can't ya see what I mean? Ah, might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump Jump! (Guitar Solo) Might as well jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump Get it in, jump. Jump! Go ahead and jump Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump! ::Continues to prance around:: Note: I actually can do a really good Sammy Hagar impersonation. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Gets up:: Just to show the rest of you how to do it. Y'all know when to say "oooh"... Yeah this one right here goes out to all the baby's mamas, mamas... Mamas, mamas, baby mamas, mamas Yeah, go like this I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times A baby drama mama, don't like me She doing things like havin her boys come from her neighborhood To the studio tryin to fight me She need to get a, piece of the american pie and take her bite out That's my house, I disconnect the cable and turn the lights out And let her know her grandchild is a baby, and not a paycheck Private schools, daycare, shit, medical bills, I'll pay that I love your mom and everything, see I aint the one who laid down She wanna rip you up, start a custody war, my lawyer stay down She never got a chance to hear my side of the story we was divided She had fish frys and cookouts On my child's birthday I ain't invited Despite it, show her the utmost respect when I fall through All you, do is defend that lady when I call you, yeah I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times Me and your daughter Got a special thang goin on You say it's puppy love We say it's full grown Hope that we feel this Feel this way forever You could plan a pretty picnic But you can't predict the weather, Ms. Jackson Ten times out of nine, now if I'm blind fine The quickest muzzle throw it on my mouth and I'll decline King meets queen, then the puppy love thing, together dream Bout that crib with the goodyear swing On the oak tree, I hope we feel like this forever Forever, forever, ever, forever, ever? Forever never seems that long until you're grown And notice that the day by day rule can't be too long Ms. Jackson my intentions were good I wish I could Become a magician to abacadabra off the sadder Thoughts of me, thoughts of she, thoughts of he Askin what happened to the feelin that her and me Had, I pray so much about it need some knee, pads It happened for a reason one can't be, mad So know just know that everything is cool And yes I will be present on the first day of school, and graduation I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times Uh, uh, yeah "Look at the way he treats me", shit, look at the way you treat me See your lil nose ass homegirls got they ass up in the creek G Without a paddle, you left the straddle and ride this thing on out And the union girl aint speakin no more cuz my dick all in her mouth Know what I'm talkin about, jealousy, and fidelity, envy Cheating, beating, and to the G's they be the same thing So who you placin the blame on, you keep on singin the same song Let bygones be bygones, you can go on and get the hell on You and your mama I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times I'm sorry Ms. Jackson (OOOH) I am for real Never meant to make your daughter cry I apologize a trillion times ::sits back down and pops da collar:: Y'all know I rock. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 "Time to slow it down, folks, so grab the one you had your eye on and bring it to the dance floor." Before we say goodbye Before we turn and walk away Let's give it one more try Before we say goodbye Before we close that door Before we go our seperate ways Let's stop and find out why Before we say goodbye We've been down this road before And always made it through But in case we break up Can I still have sex with you? Before we lose this love Before we throw it all away Girl, don't do another guy Before we say goodbye Don't wanna say goodbye Before we say goodbye We've been down this road before And always made it through But in case we break up Can I still have sex with you? Before we lose this love Before we throw it all away Girl, don't do another guy Before we say goodbye Before we say goodbye Oh, don't you make me cry Before we say goodbye ::Takes bow...and wonders why Choken is dancing with JHawk...:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::not wanting to be outdone, JSYK goes onstage to do a David Lee Roth cover. Three words into Atomic Punk, he tries to do a karate kick and falls flat on his face, causing a large gash. Blood everywhere...Sandman runs over and stands over JSYK, chanting "HE'S HARDCORE! HE'S HARDCORE!", while Mario sits in the corner and pouts, because he knows that JSYK does a much better Roth impression::: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OldSchoolWrestling 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 This has got to be the saddest day of my life I called you here today for a bit of bad news I wont be able to see you anymore Because of my obligations, and the ties that you have Weve been meeting here everyday And since this is our last day together I wanna hold you just one more time When you turn and walk away, dont look back I wanna remember you just like this Lets just kiss and say goodbye I had to meet you here today Theres just so many things to say Please dont stop me til Im through This is something I hate to do Weve been meeting here so long I guess what we done, oh was wrong Please darlin, dont you cry Lets just kiss and say goodbye Many months have passed us by Im gonna miss you, I cant lie Ive got ties, and so do you I just think this is the thing to do Its gonna hurt me, I cant lie Maybe youll meet, youll meet another guy Understand me, wont you try, try, try, try, try, try, try Lets just kiss and say goodbye Im gonna miss you, I cant lie Understand me, wont you try Its gonna hurt me, I cant lie Take my hankerchief, wipe your eyes Maybe youll find, youll find another guy Lets kiss and say goodbye, pretty baby Please, dont you cry Understand me, wont you try Lets just kiss And say goodbye Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Mario leaves the bar, and gets in his car. Mario crashes his car into Zack's bar, because he can't drive.............55! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::goes to the bar:: Can I get some peanuts? Thanks! ::Throws peanuts at Zach:: Throwing stuff rules! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Choken One Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :Choken and JHawk continue to dance under the moonlight bathroom: Choken: This is so special... Jhawk: Umm dude it just got weird.. Choken: Yeah, Um...Go REDS! Jhawk:....riiiiight. Excuse me. :::Jhawk runs out like a bat outta hell::: Choken: This is just fucking silly...My heart belongs only to IDRM. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Throws CD, shuriken style at Chave, for saying his name wrong.:: It's ZACK! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Still lying on the stage::: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest SweetNSexyDiva Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :Choken and JHawk continue to dance under the moonlight bathroom: Choken: This is so special... Jhawk: Umm dude it just got weird.. Choken: Yeah, Um...Go REDS! Jhawk:....riiiiight. Excuse me. :::Jhawk runs out like a bat outta hell::: Choken: This is just fucking silly...My heart belongs only to IDRM. WTF! Well, I guess you are both in Ohio... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Takes out drill, and uses it as an instrument, grabs mic:: Hello Baby!!!!!!!! ::Drilling sounds:: (Ain't that some shit?) (Okay, ya ready to go?) (Yeah) Oh yeah! Yeah! She's gotta have soul Or it won't feel right Well, just plain, clean, and simple Wrapped up nice n' tight And homegrown and down-home, that makes one Cookin' up that old time, long lost recipe for me. Woo! It's gettin' hard to find Guess it ain't hip enough now You take an average guy, he can't identify, uh And there's a short supply of her fine, fine stuff Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on some o' that Shake it up, bake it up nice, uh! Lemme get on, lemme get on, lemme get on all that I so love my baby's poundcake Homegrown and down-home, yeah that's the one Still cookin' with that old time, long lost recipe Lemme get on some o' that Uh-ah uh-ho ho Uh-ah uh-ho ho. I want some o' that Uh-ah uh-ho ho. Gimme some o' that Uh-ah uh-ho ho-ow! (Guitar Solo) Ooh, got some real fine pound...poundcake. Ah I've been out there Tried a little bit of everything But it's all sex without love I found the real thing is poundcake Homegrown and down-home, yeah that's the one Still cookin' with that old time, long lost recipe, yeah. Woo! She's down-home and down-home. Oh, that's my woman Gimme some o' that Uh-ah uh-ho ho Uh-ah uh-ho ho. Lemme hold that Uh-ah uh-ho ho. Uh! Uh-ah uh-ho ho Homegrown and down-home, woo! Come on babe Gimme some o' that, gimme some o' that Homegrown, way down-home. Yeah! Uh-ah uh-ho ho, yeah, gimme some o' that. Woo! C'mon baby Homegrown, homegrown, down-home Uh-ho ho Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 "Well, now that you guys actually have a woman around, I guess I'll keep up the slow pace for you..." ::staggers back on stage. Hurls a tomato at JSYK for the hell of it.:: There was a time in my life when I opened my eyes and there you were you were more than a dream I could reach out and touch you girl that was long ago there are some things that I guess I'll never know when you love someone you gotta learn to let them go Chorus: When I dream about you that's when everything's alright you're in my arms here next to me forever when I dream about you, girl you never go away just close my eyes wait for my dreams `cause I still love loving you How can I get you to see that I'm falling apart since you've been gone I could never be sure if I could ever let go your love is much too strong there are some things that I guess I never know when you love someone you gotta learn to let them go When I dream about you that's when everything's alright you're in my arms here next to me forever when I dream about you, girl you never go away just close my eyes wait for my dreams `cause I still love loving you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Gets tired of waiting for someone to help him out, crawls off the stage, collapses in the corner::: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::staggers back on stage. Hurls a tomato at JSYK for the hell of it.:: It's fun, isn't it? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Hurls another one, until Ripper comes and puts the tomato crate back in the storage room.:: "GUYS! Dammit, I ordered these so we could have Italian night and we could make some nice fresh pasta sauce, and you're humming them across the room?" ::Ripper throws a tomato at Zack, and one at JSYK.:: "Bitches." ::Puts crate back.:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rising up out of the back seat-nuh 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::comes back with a bandage around his neck:: Hey Zack, what the deuce? I was throwing peanuts at Zach Braff, who stars as JD in Scrubs. He was heckling Mario. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Sneaks into kitchen and steals a tomato::: Zack: "I'd like to sing you guys a song...it goes something like this: Ooooooooooverly emotional bullllllllllllllshit.....ACK!" :::Runs away giggling as Zack wipes tomato off his face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Breaks a chair over Zack's head, and drags hiim into the bathroom for a "hazing ceremony":: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dave O'Neill, Journalist Report post Posted September 30, 2003 Here's a song about someone who, deep down inside, we all know brought us here, and we all love him It's time to play the game..... TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!! Hahahaha Hahaha It's all about the game, and how you play it All about control, and if you can take it All about your debt, and if you can pay it It's all about pain, and who's gonna make it I am the game, you don't wanna play me I am control, no way you can change me I have heavy debts, no way you can pay me I am the pain, and I know you can't take me Look over your shoulder, ready to run Like a Cleaveland bitch from a smoking gun! I am the game and I make the rules So move on outta here and die like a fool Try to figure out what my move's gonna be Come on over, sucker, why don't you ask me? Don't you forget there's a price you can pay Cause I am the game and I want to play It's time to play the game Hahaha TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!! It's all about the game, and how you play it It's all about control, and if you can take it It's all about your debt, and if you can pay it It's all about the pain, and who's gonna make it I am the game, you don't wanna play me I am control, there's no way you can change me I am your debt, and you know you can't pay me I am your pain, and I know you can't take me Play the game You're gonna be the same You're gonna change your name You're gonna die in flames Hahaha TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!! It's time to play the game It's time to play the game It's time to play the game Hahaha TIME TO PLAY THE GAME!!!! Hahahaha Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Seeing that he has some Vaseline left for just one more person, Mario hazes the 1inch punch on stage:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Sneaks into kitchen and steals a tomato::: Zack: "I'd like to sing you guys a song...it goes something like this: Ooooooooooverly emotional bullllllllllllllshit.....ACK!" :::Runs away giggling as Zack wipes tomato off his face. No love for the slow jams, eh? Fine... ::Goes to wash tomato off face, no sell Mario's post, and gets ADEQUATELY PREPARED TO ROCK~!:: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dave O'Neill, Journalist Report post Posted September 30, 2003 GAHH GETT OFF ME Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Plushy Al Logan Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Sneaks into kitchen and steals a tomato::: Zack: "I'd like to sing you guys a song...it goes something like this: Ooooooooooverly emotional bullllllllllllllshit.....ACK!" :::Runs away giggling as Zack wipes tomato off his face. No love for the slow jams, eh? Fine... ::Goes to wash tomato off face, no sell Mario's post, and gets ADEQUATELY PREPARED TO ROCK~!:: ::Brings out Mike Anthony to assist Zack. Mario demands a duet with Zack, or he'll hazed him the hard way. Zack accepts:: I've heard it called by different names All over the world, but it's all the same There's so many ways to make love A million ways to make love A million ways, I've been thinking of Oh yea Chorus: But there's only one way There's only one way to rock So many things can get you high I'm gonna try em all just once before I die And you can analyze this situation To me it's all just mental masturbation [Chorus] Now quickly, check the hands on the clock It's 8:05, it's time to rock And this world can disagree They don't understand how it can be And it's not my point of view It's a fact, and you know that it's true [Chorus] Crank up the drums, crank out Mikey's bass Crank up my Les Paul in your face Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
justsoyouknow 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 :::Knocks down bathroom door and hits Mario in the face with a tomato, which knocks him out cold. It is then revealed that the tomato is....FROZEN! JSYK finds Zack face-down in a stall, handcuffed around the toilet, with his pants around his ankles.::: JSYK: Ah...looks like you could use some assistance here. :::Zack and JSYK take the stage and sing a duet::: Friendship is rare, Do you know what I'm sayin' to you? Friendship is rare. My derriere, When you find out much later That they don't really care. It's rare to me, can't you see? It's rare to me, can't you see? Oh shit there's a bear, Could you hand me that shotgun buddy, Also that chair? We're fighting a bear Now your life's in grave danger And you don't even care. It's rare to me, can't you see? It's rare to me, can't you see? It's rare to me, Say a prayer for me, 'Cause it's rare to be In Tenacious D. Friends will be friends They're running naked in the sand, Friends holding hands Will someday surely form a band, Friends will be friends They say that friends are friends To the bitter end. Long-as-there's-a-record-deal-we'll-always-be-friends! Long-as-there's-a-record-deal-we'll-always-be-friends! Friends will be friends They're running naked in the sand, Friends holding hands Will someday surely form a band, Friends will be friends They say that friends are friends To the bitter end. Long-as-there's-a-record-deal-we'll-always-be-friends! Long as there's a record deal we'll always be friends, yeah Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zack Malibu 0 Report post Posted September 30, 2003 ::Chants for FOOSTER to sing a song for us all.:: "All right people, are you ADEQUATELY PREPARED TO ROCK~!?...HIT IT!" I only see myself reflected in your eyes so all that I believe I am essentially are lies and everything I've hoped to be or ever thought I was died with your belief in me so who the hell am I? CHORUS: I don't know if I'm real without you what is left of me without you? I don't know what's real without you How can I exist without you? I'm wandering 'round confused wondering why i try the more that you deny my pain the more it intensifies ... I pray for someone to ache for me the way I ache for you... if you ignore that I'm alive I've nothing to cling to CHORUS: I don't know if I'm real without you what is left of me without you? I don't know what's real without you How can I exist without you? I stare into this mirror so tired of this life if only you would speak to me or cared if i'm alive once i swore i would die for you but i never meant like this I never meant like this... No I never meant like this CHORUS: I don't know if I'm real without you what is left of me without you? I don't know what's real without you How can I exist without you? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
