PROMO: First Day Of Work

[Thoth 0]

"Ahhh... first day of work!" Mark Stevens beams from ear to ear. With a spring in his gait, he swings open the front door.

 

"Hello, Cynthia," he says, with a million-dollar smile.

 

"Mr. Stevens! Welcome to your first day as Commissioner."

 

"Please, call me Mark!" he laughs, a hand behind his head. "I couldn't bear to deal with this Mister and Missus stuff."

 

"Alright then, Mark, I’ll show you to King's old office, and you can redecorate it how you see fit!"

 

"I take it you sponged out the slime and dirt?" They both share a laugh as Cynthia, the receptionist, opens the door and shows him inside. It's empty but for a desk, a chair, and a phone. “This is all yours now, so spruce it up so it feels like home.”

 

"Sure will. Thanks, Cynthia!" She closes the door, and the Heavy Hitter cracks his knuckles and gets to work.

 

"Alright... let's see now. What does a commissioner do... paperwork!" He opens the desk and pulls out a sheet of paper. For some reason, it's blank. He puts it aside, and gets another piece of paper... also blank. Curious, he pulls out the entire sheet and ruffles through it. Blank. Blank. Blankity blank blank blank.

 

"Uhh, Cynthia?" says Stevens, picking up the phone. "Yeah, could you come in here for just a minute? ...uh huh." He hangs up the phone.

 

"What is it, Mark?"

 

"These papers... they're all blank! Do you know why?"

 

"Well, not really, but I know we didn’t clean out Commissioner Applewhite's desk, because we knew you'd be taking over, and you’d need the paperwork. We didn’t bother to look at it... hmm. That explains a lot."

 

"I see... thank you, Cynthia." She shuts the door again, leaving him to his peace. He twiddles his thumbs, looking about the office for work to do. The office indeed, is blank, white and lifeless. A canvas yet to be painted on, but Mark hasn't brought his baseball posters yet. The phone rings just then, and Stevens picks it up in a hurry. Finally! His first act as Commissioner.

 

"SWF Commissioner Mark Stevens speaking... oh, hi honey! First day on the job, heh heh... no, no, not yet. No, I just started! ...yeah, can't wait. ...Oh, I’m sure eventually, you know... right... right... yeah, meatloaf sounds good. Yeah... that's good to hear! Well, talk to you later, honey! ...I love you too. Bye!"

 

*CLICK*

 

Stevens twiddles his thumbs. Lonely office. The clock he pulls out of his bag ticks as he sets it on the desk. Tick... tock. He is lulled into the rhythm, the singular beating of the clock as the seconds count the minutes.

 

Time passes...

 

*RING RING RING*

 

"Hello, SWF Commissioner Mark Stevens speaking," he says drowsily. "What can I... wait... holy... Thoth, is that you? I saw you at Genesis. Did you enjoy it? ...good, good... yeah, I agree, great match... yeah... yeah... so... you... oh, really? You’re coming back?! Great! When... hmm... I see... I see... yes... I can arrange a contract... yeah, that’s no problem..."

 

His eyes flutter suddenly.

 

"Wait. Wait... you want to what?! Wait. Are you serious? Look, I don't... look, if you're serious, I'll draw up the paperwork, sure, but... and when do you want to do this? ... yeah... yeah... look, I have a hard time believing you’re telling the truth. This is just so... unrealistically fantastic. If you want to do this, great, but... yeah... yeah. Well, good luck to you then."

 

*CLICK*

 

Well, business is picking up. Glad to see work won't be so boring.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

It's great 'cause I know what this means.

 

I rule and the rest of you don't.

 

K.

[AnnieEclectic 0]

If anything, Thoth is here to prove that I'm not the only one to retire, then return, then retire, so one and so forth. Good job!

 

-Annie

[Guest Suicide King]

::sniffles::