Rawknight 0 Report post Posted October 11, 2003 October 9th. 5am. A door creaks open and into the blackness of a small apartment steps a large shadow. The low click of a light switch, the low hum of a refrigerator and a muttered expletive are the only sounds as the room is flooded with bright light. Now lit up, standing in the doorway, wincing at the light is the massive form of Va’aiga. The Maori groans and stretches, cracking his neck and wincing at the pain. Taking a seat on his own couch, Va’aiga casually flicks on the television and scans aimlessly through a few channels, grunting in disapproval at his inability to find anything worth watching before flicking it off again. Stretching again Va’aiga leans backwards and winces a second time, reaching an arm behind him and trying in vain to work free a knot in his own shoulder muscle, to little effect. Va’aiga lays back across the couch, flicking a magazine out of the way of where his head is going to lay. Staring aimlessly at the ceiling the massively built Maori takes a couple of deep breaths and folds his arms behind his head, grunting again and fiddling to try to find a position that doesn’t hurt. The Maori rolls onto his side facing the television and presses hard onto his controller again, sending the screen flashing into life. Reaching for the controller for his video, Va’aiga rewinds the tape that’s in the machine to the start and presses play. Bobby Riley : Welcome to SWF Lockdown!. Fans, we’ve got an exciting show coming up tonight, right up until our main event. We can only hope that Erek Taylor decides to interject himself, rather than make us watch Tom Flesher defend the SWF World Title against the Boston Strangler unimpeded. Va’aiga grunts again and shrugs his shoulders, suppressing a little noise of pain. The Maori spins on… Bobby Riley: Christ could Wildchild get any more miserable? When you’re renaming moves so they reflect your tortured soul… Cyclone Comet: Shut up! Cover! Va’aiga sighs and spins on… Cyclone Comet: CITIZEN CED DUCKS! John Duran just took out his teammate! What do you have to say for their lack of experience now, Bobbo? Bobby Riley: …I have nothing to say Va’aiga arches an eyebrow and spins on again… Cyclone Comet: That was a big mistake for Xstasy, and it looks like the Wonder kid is capitalizing. The Boston Strangler: Erek can definitely wear him down out here, especially with the momentum on his side! Va’aiga spins on again… Cyclone Comet: AND VA’AIGA WINS! Va’aiga wins with Bastion’s brother’s move! And wouldn’t Thugg, lying in his hospital bed right now LOVE to be the one doing that to the psychotic Bastion? Va’aiga focuses on the screen as the shot turns to show what the Maori Badass is watching Va’aiga lays spark out on the canvas, shattered from the effort, clutching his back. Meanwhile BASTION, blood pouring from his back and face slowly stands, STILL not looking like he can be taken down for more than a few precious seconds, and walks over to the fallen Maori Badass. Bobby Riley: Va’aiga may have won the battle, but I don’t thing Bastion is done with the Maori Badass… Bastion picks Va’aiga up and the crowd’s wild cheers turns to boos as Bastion lifts Va’aiga up and hoists him up for a MASSIVE powerbomb! Bastion holds on and hoists Va’aiga up again, and AGAIN slams him down with a huge crash on the mat. His face a blank picture lacking any emotion, the sociopathic Bastion hoists Va’aiga up for a third consecutive powerbomb, this time casually dropping the Maori out with a BIG release on the bomb. Bastion steps over the ring ropes and to a massive round of boos strides up the entrance ramp. Bobby Riley: THE THIRD OFFENSE! Bastion may have lost to Va’aiga, but he’s STILL made a statement. And that statement is... Don’t mess with Bastion, because you’re gonna get hurt! Folks we’ve got to take a commercial break, and while the EMTs tend to Va’aiga some people will try to sell you stuff. …back in the apartment Va’aiga sighs, rewinds and watches the post match attack by Bastion again. Growling occasionally at the pain in his back, the Maori Badass watches carefully, trying to work out what he did wrong, or maybe just grimly focusing on the attack, memorising what happened for some unknown purpose. The tone of Va’aiga’s phone interrupts the Maori Badass’ studies. Va’aiga slides down the volume on the TV set and listens out for the message, not really wanting to move from his stationary position. Va’aiga: Yo, you’re through to the Maori. Leave a message and I’ll get back to ya. The answer phone Beeps. HVille Thugg: Yo, Va’aiga. It’s the Thugg here, bro. Saw the match, and I know I didn’t think ya could do it, but you beat my brother. Respect for that, blood. The answer phone’s tape clicks off. Va’aiga smiles briefly and flicks off the TV, lays back on the couch and closes his eyes. October 9th. 1:30pm. Grand Slam Mark Stevens walks into his office, remains of a low fat tuna sandwich in one hand. Looking round the accolade laden office at the SWF headquarters, Stevens notices the light on HIS answer phone is flicking on and off. The Heavy Hitter flicks the button and listens. Stevens Answer Phone: You have TWO Messages. Message One. Va’aiga: OK Grand Slam. You saw what happened. I took the hits, I got the fall, and I got the respect, what little there is of it for beating the big guy. Now I’m left tidying up for you again. I’m gonna give Silent the beating of his god damn life, but I told you, I ain’t nobody’s errand boy, even if that errand IS making some biyatch hurt. You owe me, man. Stevens Answer Phone: Message Two. Va’aiga: BOO-YAH! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dace59 0 Report post Posted October 11, 2003 Ahh, such fine wit. You do it well sir. And my god, Va'aiga uses moderate length words! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Insanityman Report post Posted October 11, 2003 Very nice and entertaining. I like the second message just being "BOO-YAH" and I'm a fan of the classic "rewatch your failures on video tape while in pain or some unhappy mood." Like I said, very enjoyable and a good read. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Ace309 0 Report post Posted October 11, 2003 I like it. I'm hoping this does go somewhere instead of just being dropped as a semi-shoot promo, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheBostonStrangler 0 Report post Posted October 12, 2003 BOOYAH! @ that promo. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Suicide King Report post Posted October 12, 2003 You see Stevens? You can't please everyone. Heh heh heh... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
