What I stands for...

[Guest Ken]

My name is Ken, and this is what I stand for:

 

1. Having a good time with my mates. I like to rattle down to Jack's BBQ and open up a few cold ones and talk about, y'know, life and shit. The stuff that matters, football, tv, women, just the usual y'know?

 

2. Keeping the cool. Don't take any shit that gets thrown at you, but at the same time, respect those around you. You have a life. Enjoy it. Sure, sometimes if I'm feelin down, I like to hit a few fags every now and then. But its all in good fun y'know?

 

3. Making a difference. My life at the moment is maintaining the grounds at a real slick private school. I recognize that when people enter those gates, they want to feel that they're someone special. I'm the guy that scatters the cow shit on the soil to maintain this specialness, if you know what I mean. Kinda Like, I know its not a big job or a great one, but I feel as long as someone appreciates the environment around them, then my job is complete, yeah?

 

4. Realising your own mortality. You can't walk across water y'know? I had a mate who must've thought he coulda done that, cause when he walked across the river, he never came back up. We all know that we can't live for ever, but that should mean that we oughta treat out lives with great care and dignity. Now I know that theres a few 'druggies' posting on this board, there has to be, being in america and all. But for those that do like to have a good time by imbalancing all the chemical shit in their brains....YOU'RE A BLOODY IDIOT. If I could, I'd hang every drug dealer on the planet y'know? Their a bloody disgrace to society, and are ruining the lives of many great individuals.

 

5. Persistance. My ex gf had failed her training as a hairdresser THREE TIMES. But y'know what? She kept havin a go, and havin a go, and know she's a fully qualified prostitute. I mean, she acknowledged that hairdressing wasn't her thing and she went on to another industry. You all probably think I'm mad, but she works at a real respected brothel, the biggest in the southern hemisphere I read somewhere. Real nice.

 

6. Relaxing. Don't work yourself to hard, any boss who tells you to do more than in the job description, well, tell him to go fuck himself. Never EVER push yourself too hard unless it must be done. It's nice to watch a bit of tele in ur underwear y'know?

 

7. Don't kill people. It may sound silly, but it gets ignored a lot. Even the Big Man up there doesn't approve, so don't mess with it, yeah? Again, recognize others lives, beat the shit out of them if necessary, but try to understand that they were blessed with a life, and they have a right to live it.

 

8. Go out on saturdays and get pissed. This is very important to the enjoyment of life, and in the intimacy of friends. I don't need to explain any further, but there's an old saying: Beer Beer everywhere, now lets all get boggered and piss in Pete's car.

 

9. Love someone. Love is a real beautiful thing y'know? It's like having the same passion for someone as you did for your parents, only this time you can have a little root here and there, yeah? Make sure that you have a life partner before you die. Doesn't matter if your 20 or 80, but like, its just bloody good havin the lass right beside u when u wake up in the morning.

 

10. Be yourself. You can follow trends and fashions if your want, but don't comprimise your own self if you know what i mean. Alot of people go on about how they're all anti-fashion, but really, they're also following their own little trend of being rebellious. Don't get me wrong though, rebellious is good, sometimes it feels right to slip on the black leather and ride around on the two wheeler every now and then, but when it comes down to it, YOU know your best is, so BE YOUR BEST.

 

- Ken

[Guest Exiled Fool]

This should be pinned.

[PLAGIARISM! 0]

I liked the original Ken thread.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Where's the Factory Worker?

[Guest The Old Me]

What is this terrible shit?

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

What is this terrible shit?

I wish I knew....but I didn't bother to read it.

[Guest The Old Me]

Ken- no one cares what the fuck you are about.

 

Or if this is a gimmick, I give it a 0. And that's not a zero, it's a fat asshole.

[Guest Ken]

Ken- no one cares what the fuck you are about.

 

Or if this is a gimmick, I give it a 0. And that's not a zero, it's a fat asshole.

Yeah, I know your type. And I want you to do this.

 

Go home, sit on your couch, turn on the t.v, crank out a cold one, yank out your cock and say, "I am the New Me, and I'm alright!"

 

A gimmick this ain't mate, this is the real deal. Well, atleast I know you call yourself 'The New Me', cause you'll change who you are every 5 minutes to fit with the times.

 

I knew a guy like that.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I beat the shit out of him.

[Sandman9000 0]

6. Relaxing. Don't work yourself to hard, any boss who tells you to do more than in the job description, well, tell him to go fuck himself. Never EVER push yourself too hard unless it must be done. It's nice to watch a bit of tele in ur underwear y'know?

 

7. Don't kill people. It may sound silly, but it gets ignored a lot. Even the Big Man up there doesn't approve, so don't mess with it, yeah? Again, recognize others lives, beat the shit out of them if necessary, but try to understand that they were blessed with a life, and they have a right to live it.

 

9. Love someone. Love is a real beautiful thing y'know? It's like having the same passion for someone as you did for your parents, only this time you can have a little root here and there, yeah? Make sure that you have a life partner before you die. Doesn't matter if your 20 or 80, but like, its just bloody good havin the lass right beside u when u wake up in the morning.

Fuck that shit.

[Guest El Satanico]

This sounds like a matured and mellowed Metal Ed. Did Metal Ed meet a Mrs. Metal Ed?

 

Metal Ed what happened to you brother? Don't tell me you done gone and married one those metal ed groupies.

[Guest DR PHIL]

Well fuck it, I found this amusing.

I'm curious as to if your an aussie like me ken?

 

Keep this as some kind of running "blog" with your daily adventures as a groundskeeper at a fucking snobby school, "yeah"?

[Guest The Old Me]

Go home, sit on your couch, turn on the t.v, crank out a cold one, yank out your cock and say, "I am the New Me, and I'm alright!"

I DO do that every day!

 

Internet violence is stupid. I am always the New Me, even though I'm old.

 

Go chase a gator.

[Guest Ken]

Go chase a gator.

They're called crocs mate, crocs.

 

Have a good one.

 

- Ken

[MrRant 0]

The gimmick of an Australian is pretty poor.

[Guest Ken]

The gimmick of an Australian is pretty poor.

This isn't a gimmick. Do I make you feel uncomfortable or something?

[Adam 0]

Im lost, is this a gimmick?

[Guest DR PHIL]

Fuck it!

Go the aussie gimmick!!!

[Guest Ken]

Ken News:

 

Woke up at 4:00am and watered the school grounds. I ran into a few possums, but took care of them pretty quickly. You just gotta grab'em by the neck and twist y'know? Puts them to sleep pretty fast.

 

Had lunch at the pub with a few mates.

 

Back to work, almost crashed my little beaver truck into a tree, but thanks to some quick thinking, I managed to make a quick left before coming almost within 60 meters from hittin the wood.

 

Had dinner with the family, then back to the pub again. Some yank was there talking about some Iraqi war thingo. Couldn't handle the grog though, got pissed in only 9 beers.

[Guest DR PHIL]

what a pussy!

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

I was trying to understand this thread......I guess that is a lost cause though.

[razazteca 0]

Is this the Janitor?

 

Woke up at 4:00am and watered the school grounds. I ran into a few possums, but took care of them pretty quickly. You just gotta grab'em by the neck and twist y'know? Puts them to sleep pretty fast.

A Caddy Shack reference would of worked better. Remember Bill Murry carried the movie, Bill Murry is a great actor who can work any genre, Bill Murry > Chevy.