Explain THIS TO ME

[Guest rawmvp]

Butchering the English language? What do you mean? I hope you weren't affronting me. You try getting an A in advanced English at Berkeley. In terms of grammar, syntax and semantics, I'm one of the better writers here. I may be a neophyte when it comes to romance and dating, but I'm trying and that's all you can ask for.

[cmclennan 0]

Heh. Yes, I am affronting you as you so eloquently, yet so unnecessarily phrase it. Please, you're an embarassment to English-speaking peoples 'round the world.

 

You have to follow the trends of the time, linguistically speaking. And Simplification is "in."

[Guest rawmvp]

Ok, fine. I'll streamline my verbiage just for you. In other words, I'm going to dumb it down for you. You know, so you won't feel inferior any more.

 

Happy?

[cmclennan 0]

I'll bet you find yourself hilarious.

 

You know, you talking like this is probably the reason people laugh at you. It has nothing to do with your dry, oh-so-cutting wit.

 

And now that I've been insulted so horribly, the only way I can get back at you would be to write a biting poem about you... But what to write about? Your romantic ineptitude? Your inability to get any point across whatsoever, without resorting to various "witticisms" designed to make yourself feel better about your obvious social inability. That said, I have decided to compose a poem about you.

 

"Dear, dear rawmvp,

I wonder if you'll ever be

with a girl, or at the least,

with some sort of dog-like beast?

 

You claim to be advanced in language,

But these claims fill my mind with anguish,

For if you are smart as you say,

What does that make Ernest Hemingway?

 

For surely he is your opposite,

What with the brilliant wit,

And he also had a skill which you seem to lack,

That being the ability to lay off the crack."

 

There we are.

Edited November 15, 2003 by cmclennan

[Guest rawmvp]

ROTFL

 

Wow, I'm impressed. Your rhymes are...ummmm...interesting.

 

I'm flattered that you took your precious time on a Friday night to write a poem about ME!

[cmclennan 0]

Yes, as I have no life, and am forced to debate meaningless issues with mentally challenged people such as yourself. Also, I really like to argue.

 

Edit: NOOOOOooOOO~! My poem is not in prefect iambic pentameter! I am shamed~!

[Guest rawmvp]

Oh, come on. There's no need to resort to insults. I just wanted your feedback; I didn't ask to be insulted. Can't we all just get along? Jeez.

[cmclennan 0]

Okay, okay, but I REALLY wanted to use something like "You're a big fat poopy-head," But I suppose not.

[EricMM 0]

rawmvp not only is your language suspect, but you're corny, you're pressed, and you will not get with this chick (I think).

 

I mean if you are RIPPED then maybe you will. And maybe this internet representation of you is false. But you are not funny, you're like... silly. It's not endearing is creepy. Putting your glasses on a girl? Maybe you watch too many movies.

 

Just move on from this girl. I think you need to find yourself before anyone else will.

[Guest rawmvp]

Actually, it would be the reverse of Rocky.

 

Rocky took off Adrian's glasses before kissing her.

 

I thought about putting the glasses on before kissing this Russian girl.

 

And how in god's name is my language suspect? Again, if the big words bother you guys then I won't use them anymore.

[Guest Olympic Slam]

Dude, I'm sure you're a great guy but I'm sorry. Your plan is lame, your approach is lame, this chick is lame, and every other moment of this never-ending thread has been lame. Give up! Give up on her, give up on your tactics and start re-evaluating everything you stand for when it comes to dealing with them purdy laydees. I was clueless with chicks before someone gave me some similiar advice that has put me on the right path. I'm not even close to being a James Bond yet, but at least I can talk to them without sweating or sounding all rehearsed and nervous. Stop and think for a second; do you actually think that putting your glasses on this chick is going to make her want to turn your dick into her own personal pogo-stick?

[Ace309 0]

It's not that your vocabulary bothers us... at least, not me.

 

It's that there are other words that would serve the same purpose and come off sounding much less awkward. Example:

 

I know it seems like an obvious answer, but I'm just so incredulous of the truth, as harsh as it may be.

 

"This is a stupid question, but I'm in denial, so I'll ask anyway."

 

I can't imagine your phrasing rolling smoothly off the tongue, and so when I read it it just sounds bad. You sound like a twelve-year-old who just bought his first thesaurus and can't wait to use it. I'm just waiting for you to accuse McLennan of hubris and then declare your sad lament that coitus is not imminent.

 

Or you could call Craig a jerk and complain that you're not getting laid.

 

The only redeeming factor for awkward phrasing is that it sometimes helps with precision. Sometimes, using a cumbersome word is unavoidable, and sometimes the extra syllables help the rhythm of a sentence. I can safely assume, having read your posts here, that's not your motive.

 

A in Advanced English or not, I can't imagine a competent instructor returning your papers without tons of "word choice" proofreading marks.

[Guest rawmvp]

....

Edited November 15, 2003 by rawmvp

[welshjerichomark 0]

Enough of this corny childish bullshit. Just tell her you like her. You couldn't possibly make any more of an ass of yourself, so what are you waiting for?

[chaosrage 0]

Ummm yeah, that was the intention. To make her laugh, to cheer her up. I wasn't trying to be romantic or anything; I was hoping she'd see through the lines and laugh just like you did.

I don't think you want her to laugh like I laughed.

 

You sound a stalker dude. You don't know if she can stand you yet, let alone like you, and you're already talking about kissing her. Maybe she sighs in class because she can't wait to get out and get away from you staring at her.

[chaosrage 0]

Actually, it would be the reverse of Rocky.

 

Rocky took off Adrian's glasses before kissing her.

 

I thought about putting the glasses on before kissing this Russian girl.

There's a small difference between taking the glasses off so you can see what she looks like and putting glasses on her. What do you think that's supposed to do? Oh, and Rocky had also known Adrian for a long ass time, he actually had the nerve to ask her out, they went on a date, she chose to go inside his apartment, and most important, he KNEW she liked him and was just shy. You have NO clue. You admitted you don't and you prove you don't with every post. But y'know, Rocky didn't have witty lines such as "LIKE THE NIKE COMERCIAL SAYS, JUST DO IT!", so maybe it evens out.

 

And how in god's name is my language suspect? Again, if the big words bother you guys then I won't use them anymore.

 

Listen. We're not trying to "affront" you, we're trying to help you before you go out and make a fool of yourself. Big words are great for english papers, but it's awkward for everyday conversation. It doesn't make you sound smart, all it does is make it sound you have trouble communicating with people. Talk normal. If that doesn't come natural, then work on it. You need to keep it real like the rest of us, yo.

[Guest rawmvp]

Alright, I appreciate the advice. BTW, by no means am I a stalker. I just have strong feelings for this girl, that is all.

[EricMM 0]

You have strong feelings for her but what exactly have you done with her besides see her in class?

[chaosrage 0]

I know you aren't, but I think you might come off like that. Does she show any signs of interest? Does she ever look at you or start talking to you on her own?

 

I know you don't want to do it but sooner or later you're going to have to bite the bullet and ask her out. Don't be corny about it!

[Art Sandusky 0]

"Guys, today I finally did it! I passed her a note asking 'Do you like me?' with a Yes and No on it, and told her to circle one of them! She said she'd give it back to me with her answer tomorrow! Whee!"

[Guest rawmvp]

Yeah, I have caught her staring at me on occasion. And yes, she will ask me questions for the sole purpose of getting my attention. Like I mentioned, the other day, she asked me, "how am I going to do all my work in November." A question like that doesn't have a real, definitive answer.

 

While I'm doing lab work, she'll come next to me and lean in my direction. There are other subtle things too, but I don't have time for all of them.

[EricMM 0]

I have caught her staring at me on occasion.

 

She's probably making sure you don't attack her

 

Look you say you feel strongly for her, but based on what?

 

You sound infatuated in this girl, ok? You don't HAVE a relationship, yet you seem to think that you have everything planned out. You're trying to jump before you even take a step, you're not going to get very far.

[chaosrage 0]

I meant outside of class.

[A Happy Medium 0]

You need a phone number, and beer....or vodka..that's what them Russkies drink.

 

Yeah, dude. The whole thing is looking kinda lame. Also, don't rehearse what you're going to say to her, as odds are you will talk so fast that she cannot understand you, and nothing is worse than trying to say something witty, and being asked "what?".

[TSA09 0]

Her asking about homework isn't some girl code for "I want you" Jesus this chick isn't interested in you as boyfriend material. If anything you are in the Friend's Zone. Nice knowing you.

[Guest Elgyn]

I just read this whole thread from start to finish.....this guy is going to fail sooo bad.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I think the answer to his tribulations is obvious. Learn russian, and impress her. Take a great interest in her culture, much like Wayne Campbell did with fine ass Tia Carrere in Wayne's World I and II.

[Ace309 0]

Take a great interest in her culture, much like Wayne Campbell did with fine ass Tia Carrere in Wayne's World I and II.

 

Zang!

[Guest rawmvp]

Update: Today we had a Bio excursion. We trudged through the woods and examined shrubs, leaves, and trees (yeah, really boring shit). Anyway, from the outset to the end, I hung out with both the Russian girl whom I like and her Russian friend, who is just as attractive. We mingled, perhaps a little too much, and I inquired about their Russian heritage and made it seem like I was really interested in their culture. They responded accordingly and we continued to talk about everyday stuff. I think I may have flubbed my chances by saying, "the only exposure I have to the Russian culture are Rocky 4 and GoldenEye." Hopefully, they realized I was joking.

 

A few more things: The Russian girl whom I like (Natalie) used a leaf to flirt with me again (she'd wave it in my face). Also, while standing next to me, she pretended like she was hyperventilating; i.e, pretending like she was in a state of sexual ecstasy probably because I alluded to how great it would be to have sex in the woods.

 

Hey, I admit that I'm extremely inexperienced when it comes to women. At 19 yrs. of age, I've never had a girlfriend, mainly because I'm painfully shy around the opposite sex. But I'm trying, and whether or not my pursuit is a resounding success or an abject failure, I will at least have the satisfaction of knowing that I tried. We all learn from our mistakes, don't we?

[TSA09 0]

Holy shit! She waived a leaf in your face, she wants your dick. Please....give it a rest and save yourself the heartache when this fails.