USC Wuz Robbed! Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Rawmvp, I would say keep pursuing her. What is the worst thing they'll do to you? Kill you?
Guest rawmvp Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Eh. It's more fun to watch him try to parse "Natalie's" reference to an organisation which was disbanded over a decade ago. I know half a dozen people who really were in the KGB when it was still around, as Russia is my main area. Not one refers to the FSB as the KGB - nor do ordinary people in Vladivostok, Moscow, St Petersburg, Korsakovskiy, or Nizhni Novgorod, nor any of the other places I've visited. The KGB was actually something that was a part of their lives, not some convenient prop for a bullshit online fantasy involving a beautiful virgin nymphomaniac ballerina who, if she were real, would appear to be severely impaired in her taste in males (I'd say "men," but that would be inaccurate). Whether they remember it with hatred or whether they're still loyal to its memory, no one - neither intelligence professionals nor ordinary citizens - brings up the KGB casually as a cultural reference, or calls its current incarnation by its old name. For them, real memories exist of it and its activities, and they aren't lightly recalled. I don't feel like lecturing a teenager about its very real breakup or the compartmentalisation of its functions into half a dozen different services or the purge of a lot of old directorate heads (especially those responsible for internal security and protection), or the fact that the idea of an actual intelligence agent targeting his friend's son's ex-girlfriend's wannabe boyfriend is fucking ridiculous. No doubt he'd feel compelled to defend himself by dragging out another "Well, duh" article which can't spell Komitet Gosudarstvennoi Bezopasnosti correctly. Google is, after all, the first refuge of the liars and the ignorant. Put yourself in Natalie's position. You're currently 19 years old. You came to this country when you were 9. Don't you think it's feasible to assume that she's become Americanized to the point where the KGB -- an inherent part of the Russian culture in all its wretchedness or glory -- can be ruminated with ease, as opposed to something that's shunned? I can imagine a current Russian citizen not readily referring to the KGB or NSB, because, in essence, it has become an ingrained part of the Russian culture; it is analagous to perhaps commercialism in this country. The ubiquity, of commercialism or capitalism, for instance, has become a constitutent of the lense(s) by which we view our surroundings; and, because of this, commercialism and capitalism aren't broached too often. The KGB or NSB, likewise, assuming that it is a static component of the Russian culture, is/was so pervasive that the people of Russia -- the ones who were continuously exposed to it -- looked past it, at least according to you. This is akin to the expression, "the last thing a fish will notice is the water" I'm supposing that -- in accordance with what you said -- the water in the aformentioned scenario can be likened to the KGB or NSB. Again, it goes back to my main point of contention: isn't it likely -- or even ineluctable -- that Natalie's cultural lenses, now that she's been acculturated here, has changed to the point where she can recount the KGB or NSB with ease, unlike her parents? Yeah, I know. A beautiful virgin nymphmaniac ballerina, I initially thought, was too good to be true. But do you know what? Good and true, in this sense, aren't mutually exclusive; they're mutually inclusive. And dude, there's no need to be jealous of my beautiful virgin nymphomaniac ballerina. Be happy for my good fortune, because girls like these are hard to find. Really hard to find. Ok, really, really hard to find. And I found her! Isn't that amazing? I defied the impossible! And how can you say she has bad taste in men? Do you know MY attributes? I think not.
Art Sandusky Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 And how can you say she has bad taste in men? Do you know MY attributes? I think not. I think we can ballpark 'em.
Guest rawmvp Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Do you know what they say about ballparks? They plump when you cook 'em
Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Not that she'll ever know
Zetterberg is God Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Do you know what they say about ballparks? They plump when you cook 'em Please use that line on her.
Art Sandusky Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Do you know what they say about ballparks? They plump when you cook 'em So if we stick you in an oven, you become more verbose, more idiotic, and... (gasp!) MORE pathetic? Seriously dude, what the hell kind of comeback was that?
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 That Kylie pic...homina homina homina...
Guest Bottled Black Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Why do I get the feeling this guy is typing out his posts in Word and running it through the Thesaurus function before posting them here? It is quite amusing seeing him try and explain the plot holes in his story though. And I agree on that Kylie pic.. Holy crap. I wonder if that's what Natalie looks like. I wanna see a picture of her.
Damaramu Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 OH MY GOD! QUIT TRYING TO DEFEND YOURSELF! WE KNOW YOU'RE FULL OF SHIT! Marney just fucking told you and proved you wrong and your pathetic attempt to justify what you said didn't sway any of us from her POV.
Guest reshad974 Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 Let's this kid talk for GOD'S SAKE!!!
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 I had a feeling it'd be a hit. With a bullet.
Guest rawmvp Posted January 22, 2004 Report Posted January 22, 2004 I swear to God I'm not using any thesaurus. And that line about ballparks was just some random thing that popped into my head. It wasn't supposed to make any sense other than the reference being made to the Michael Jordan commercials.
Damaramu Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 I swear to God I'm not using any thesaurus. And that line about ballparks was just some random thing that popped into my head. It wasn't supposed to make any sense other than the reference being made to the Michael Jordan commercials. *bitch slaps*
Guest rawmvp Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Look For a GARGANTUAN ANNOUNCEMENT in the next few days regarding Natalie and I. Bang. Bang.
TSA09 Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Why did I just all the sudden start laughing when I read that? He must have written another chapter. I hope in this next installment Natalie is found to be a Russian spy and she threatens to kill you if you don't leave her alone.
MrRant Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 I don't like the "Bang. Bang." part. Either she shot him, he shot the ex, or they shot each other to prove their love for each other.
Guest rawmvp Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 I hope in this next installment Natalie is found to be a Russian spy and she threatens to kill you if you don't leave her alone. Maybe she can threaten me with really tight leather pants and a whip? OWHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Lord have mercy.
Guest rawmvp Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 I don't like the "Bang. Bang." part. Either she shot him, he shot the ex, or they shot each other to prove their love for each other. Or I finger banged her.
Guest Bottled Black Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Or I finger banged her. Oh GOD I hope that's not your Gargantuan Announcement This story is like a car wreck, you know you shouldn't look but you can't help it, curiosity gets the better of you.
Art Sandusky Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Look For a GARGANTUAN ANNOUNCEMENT in the next few days regarding Natalie and I. Bang. Bang. You've already used "gargantuan." Try "Bromdignagian" next time. You know something? I've been thinking, and... ... I don't think any of this really happened.
TSA09 Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 This story needs someone to get killed off.
Sandman9000 Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 This story needs someone to get killed off. This story needs everyone getting killed off. Kotz, +1 would have gone so much better at the end of that post.
Damaramu Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 I hope in this next installment Natalie is found to be a Russian spy and she threatens to kill you if you don't leave her alone. Maybe she can threaten me with really tight leather pants and a whip? OWHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Lord have mercy. You're not helping to discourage the image of Mick Foley cutting promos.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Why another announcement? This story became gaytime about 16 pages ago.
Guest reshad974 Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Look For a GARGANTUAN ANNOUNCEMENT in the next few days regarding Natalie and I. Bang. Bang. Why can't you just post the damn thing right now instead of waiting for a few days ? Maybe, you're finalizing your next chapter......
Damaramu Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Look For a GARGANTUAN ANNOUNCEMENT in the next few days regarding Natalie and I. Bang. Bang. Why can't you just post the damn thing right now instead of waiting for a few days ? Maybe, you're finalizing your next chapter...... He's waiting for it to come back from his editor.
Zack Malibu Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Jesus, I'm gonna tell Jay to use THIS as a script project. I've only read about half of it, but isn't it funny how he fits every Russian stereotype in there? I'm waiting for Boris and Natasha to show up next.
CanadianChris Posted January 23, 2004 Report Posted January 23, 2004 Damn, I thought Zack was coming to put this thread out of its misery.
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