Smartmarks Fake Baseball League

[Guest jpclemmons]

Baseball. *snore* The only sport more boring than baseball is cricket.(cause the matches take forever.)

[Guest Evolution]

In all the baseball threads that are invariably in this folder, you had to post in this one, which isn't actually about real baseball?

[Guest Evolution]

Don't get too excited. This isn't an update.

 

Just wanted to let you guys know that you should expect an update sometime this weekend. Hopefully.

 

I've been really swamped with school related things, but I'm trying to clear it out for my faithful SFBL readers and players.

 

Pray for a weekend update, my people.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I'll tell Gonzales to kill a live rooster to hopefully ensure a weekend update, preferably with either Chevy Chase, or Norm McDonald.

[Guest Evolution]

2011 SFBL MIDSEASON RECAP

 

Welcome to the recap at the midseason mark of this season! Before we get into the actual season, let’s go over some things that happened in the preseason.

 

MIDSEASON AWARDS

 

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER (SFBL)

ABEL ORTIZ (DENVER)

Abel is keeping the Douchebags in a very heated race between the Las Vegas Jokers and the Seattle Frasiers to determine which team is #1 in the West. Although the pitching may ultimately kill Denver, Abel will keep the ship afloat for as long as he possibly needs to.

Honorable Mention: Carlos DeSantis, Trent Morphy

 

MOST VALUABLE PLAYER (TSM)

CARLOS DESANTIS (ATLANTA)

This is a no-brainer. Without question, DeSantis has emerged once again as a force in the SFBL. With a colossal .429 average, 23 HR and 84 RBI at the break, the one reason why he isn’t MVP of the entire league is that Abel is in the middle of a playoff race, and Atlanta is currently falling behind their longtime rivals Jacksonville, 3 games behind the Jackoffs in the South. However, if DeSantis can keep those numbers up and possibly hit a few more homeruns, then Atlanta will be back in business--and perhaps they can finally beat Jacksonville, once and for all.

Honorable Mention: Robert Henderson, Shiro Suzuki

 

MOST SURPRISING TEAM

NEW JERSEY CLERKS

Uh…what? Yes, this was the same team that finished 70-92 last year, fourth place in the East. However, they now find themselves 4 games ahead of the Baltimore Crime Spree in first place. With New York and Boston as good as eliminated, the Clerks are most definitely in the hunt for an East playoff spot. Philadelphia is still within range (9 games behind is not that much for the defending East-West champions and their explosive offense). Though Baltimore will likely become a thorn in the side of the Clerks, it’s great to see that they have bounced back from quite the sub par season in 2010.

 

MOST DISAPPOINTING TEAM

HOUSTON HORNY TOADS

The Horny Toads were on the verge of winning a playoff spot in the South, but were edged out by the defending champion Jacksonville Jackoffs by a mere 2 games.

 

Now in 2011, Houston is 13 games behind the division-leading Jackoffs, with a disappointing 39-42 record. Houston did not take a big hit in the offseason, so the sudden slump of Houston is hard to explain. The run support has mysteriously disappeared, and with it the efficiency of the pitching staff. What was once a playoff threat is now just cannon fodder for the other good teams in the South such as the Hanoi Janes or the Jackoffs to bolster their Win-Loss records.

 

MIDSEASON STANDINGS

 

East

 

Team W L PCT GB

New Jersey 48 33 .593 -

Baltimore 44 37 .543 4.0

Philadelphia 39 42 .481 9.0

New York 30 51 .370 18.0

Boston 28 53 .346 20.0

 

West

 

Team W L PCT GB

Denver 46 35 .568 -

Las Vegas 46 35 .568 -

Seattle 46 35 .568 -

Los Angeles 39 42 .481 7.0

Phoenix 39 42 .481 7.0

 

North

 

Team W L PCT GB

Vancouver 44 37 .543 -

Indianapolis 41 40 .506 3.0

Columbus 36 45 .444 8.0

Detroit 36 45 .444 8.0

Chicago 30 51 .370 14.0

 

South

 

Team W L PCT GB

Jacksonville 52 29 .642 -

Atlanta 49 32 .605 3.0

Memphis 40 41 .494 12.0

Houston 39 42 .481 13.0

Charlotte 38 43 .469 14.0

 

MIDSEASON GRADES

 

Atlanta Hanoi Janes: This team has always been one to have plenty of talent, especially on the offensive side. And this season is certainly no disappointment, with MVP contender Carlos DeSantis providing the hits and players like Baldo Covas and Steve “Sticky Hands” Hatfield providing the backup. The pitching is slightly disappointing, although Giant Gonzales, Eric LeBeau and Alphonso Meraz have all proven themselves worthy. Both Gonzales and LeBeau were selected to the All-Star Game to play with their teammates Carlos and Baldo. Grade: B+

 

Baltimore Crime Spree: During their back to back championship seasons, the Crime Spree were known for their high-octane offense and their ability to score lots of runs quickly in the Penitentiary and abroad. Times have changed, though, and Baltimore has now become more focused on pitching. Francisco Vives has proven his weight in gold and is still one of the more solid relievers in the game, while starters Jerry Hooley and Doug Safwat are little known bundles of joy pitching some solid baseball for Baltimore. The offense lacks something special, as Matthew Welke is the only bright spot, providing most of a disappointing offense for a team like Baltimore. Grade: C+

 

Boston Tea Baggers: There’s not much that can be said to praise the Tea Baggers. The team sunk directly to the bottom of the standings at the beginning of the season and has not shown much movement, a disgusting 20 games behind the New Jersey Clerks in the East. Georgie “Flash” Stanback is likely the only person able to keep the butts in the seats for the Tea Baggers, as he has amassed a 12-4 record so far this season and is looking to be a favorite for the Rocket Wrist award once again. However, the rest of the pitching staff is mediocre to downright awful. The offense isn’t much better, as Todd Oviedo is providing most of it along with Anderson Goers. Boston is in good position for a 100+-loss season, and it’ll be one that is well earned. Stanback is a great player, but he can’t pitch every game, which is bad news for the executives for the Tea Baggers. Grade: D-

 

Charlotte Harlots: The Harlots are obviously never a pick to go to the playoffs any year, and for good reason: The team hasn’t been much of a playoff threat since their initial bid into the playoffs in 2003. Their bad reputation will likely continue this year, as they sit in the basement of the South, 14 games behind the Jackoffs. Donovan Habedank and Everette Orr are doing their best, but they can’t save this awful offense from anything. The pitching staff has been the key force in keeping Charlotte’s record hovering around the .500 mark. Juan Easterling’s 4-9 record is less than stellar, but his 3.96 ERA is the lowest of the starting pitchers. Also, the pitching as a whole has been able to keep opponents down to a .249 average, which is the best opponent batting average in the SFBL. For that reason, Charlotte shouldn’t be too much of an embarrassment to the North Carolina town, but it’ll be better for Harlot fans to dream about next year than to watch this one. Grade: D+

 

Chicago Transit Authority: The Chicago team that was once a powerhouse in the North is now an authority on only one thing: Sucking it up hard. With a 30-51 record, it’s time to meet another basement dweller in the SFBL. This team features one of the most putrid offenses to set foot on an SFBL field, led only by the combined efforts of Bill Betts and Roy Aliff. This offense is struggling like crazy, however, so don’t expect it to amount to much in the second half. The lack of run support is no excuse for the pitching staff, however, as it has a 5.49 team ERA and has walked 325 batters. I’d say more about this team, but I’m afraid my fingers would melt just typing about such an awful team. Grade: F

 

Columbus Pride: Well, it’s not quite the same team that made it to the playoffs last year, and it was a runner-up for the Most Disappointing Team award, but Columbus is at least trying to hang on in the North. And with amazing efforts from Robert Henderson, Gilbert Alvarez, and Daryl McConnaughey, they’re doing a good job of hanging on. Robert Henderson is the obvious team MVP, and will be a frontrunner for league MVP, even though his efforts will perhaps be dwarfed by DeSantis. Nonetheless, his .364 average, 20 HR, 75 RBI and 112 hits cannot be ignored. A solid offense looks awful when put up against the backdrop of a disappointing pitching staff, saved only by the stats put up by Felix Rodas, with a 9-5 record and a 3.85 ERA. The offense will only get Columbus so far, I’m afraid. Grade: C+

 

Denver Douchebags: Now we’re getting into some of the better teams in this league. Tied for first in a 3-way tie in the West, Denver has one of the better offenses in the league, headed by EW MVP candidate Abel Ortiz, along with Marc Taylor and Luis Amezcua. The pitching is not as good all-around, but Juan Alvarez is more than making up for the lack of good pitching with a 13-2 record and a 2.98 ERA, an obvious candidate for the Rocket Wrist Award. Much like Boston, Alvarez can’t pitch every game, and that will likely be the downfall of the Douchebags in the second half of the season, in a playoff race that will be oh-so-tight, more than likely. Still, the Douchebags are not a team to disrespect. Grade: B-

 

Detroit Motor Vehicles: Detroit’s 4th place finish at the All-Star Break shouldn’t fool most people into thinking that Detroit is a below average team. All things considered, they’re a solid team that just has problem getting wins together. Jeffrey Goodloe and Logan Caldwell are leading the offense, which isn’t too impressive, but still has managed to get a respectable 405 runs across the plate. However, the offense is merely mediocre compared to the pitching. John Propes and Samuel Vazquez are shaping up to have a very respectable season, and will likely keep the DMV out of the basement in the North. However, they certainly won’t be playoff contenders anytime soon. Grade: C-

 

Houston Horny Toads: The title of the Most Disappointing Team at the midseason mark is somewhat misleading, as Houston is simply just an all-around below average team that had the potential to be so much more. J.C. Morello and Brandon Musselwhite are both trying to do their best for the offense which is currently swimming in mediocrity. Zachariah Orlowski certainly isn’t the player he used to be, but with 41 RBI and 14 HR at the break, he’s not too doing too terrible. It’s the pitching that turns out to be the true downfall for the Toads. Theodore Ellingsworth is the only pitcher on that team that most people believe is worth a damn, and the rest are simply just there. This is certainly not the pitching staff that will win championships, and Houston will need to put some serious work forward if they expect to get anywhere near their 2nd place finish in 2010. Grade: D+

 

Indianapolis Ignition: Despite the Ignition being a mere 3 games out of 1st place, the team itself is far too weak to get anywhere in the playoffs at this stage in the season. With Vancouver in first place and the Ignition in 2nd with a record just BARELY over .500, it really says a lot about the North Division itself. But that’s another story for another time. As for the offense, the only really down spot is in the team batting average, a disappointing .269 for a 2nd place team. Behind the power of James Mobley and the solid hitting of hot prospect Mike Cannington, the Ignition would be a force to be reckoned with which such a strong offense. Unfortunately, the pitching drags it down considerably. Mathew Carey is one of the best relievers in the business and has 20 saves to his name going into his first All-Star Game, but big names like Yogi Hisashi are not living up to their paycheck. In fact, Armand Kabas is sporting a much better win-loss record and ERA than Hisashi. KABAS IS 12 YEARS OLDER. Grade: C

 

Jacksonville Jackoffs: Here’s the cream of the crop. And it’s good to see that a team like the defending champions hasn’t fallen from grace--at least not just yet. The Jackoffs are still as hot as ever and are currently enjoying a somewhat cushy lead over the Hanoi Janes. Oh, and they currently have the best record in the SFBL. One of the things about the Jackoffs is that they’re accomplishing all of this in what is mostly a team effort. Zoilo Castillo, Winston Ghandi and Luciano Cardona are the frontrunners of the Jacksonville offense, but everyone is pitching in where they can to keep this team at the top of the standings. 535 runs later, and Jacksonville is still chugging along on a path that looks to be leading to the playoffs once again, if they can hold off their long-time enemy in the Hanoi Janes. The pitching does not disappoint, either. George Alongi still has it, and Ronnie Galeana is just getting better and better with age--both will likely be considered for the Rocket Wrist Award in the North-South. Cedric Fukusaburu hasn’t been used much this year, but he’s been as effective as ever when he’s on the mound--he’s shutting down batters with a 1.27 ERA in 21 innings pitched. If Jacksonville makes it to the playoffs, there will be no reason to believe that they can take it all the way once again and become only the second team to go back-to-back as SFBL champions. Grade: A

 

Las Vegas Jokers: Back to the West with one of the teams currently deadlocked for that first place spot. The Jokers have a tradition of excellence in the SFBL, and nothing seems to be changing this year. The threesome of Christopher Silveira, Ronnie Desrochers and Brett Smith are leading the damn fine offense of the Jokers, and it’s a similar situation to Jacksonville in the South: Everyone is honestly pitching in their best to keep this team at the top of the standings. The pitching of the Jokers has been lagging in the past, but it still remains strong and will likely be strong enough to dethrone the Douchebags, should such a situation arise. Jose Paniagua is the breakout star on the mound, with a 10-4 record. The 6.21 ERA is somewhat of a blemish, but the ERA as a team isn’t much to brag about. As long as the pitching staff can keep the runs allowed to a minimum, the Jokers could be looking at another chance to get into the playoffs--perhaps to win the big one, something they haven’t done in all their trips to the postseason. Grade: B+

 

Los Angeles Glory Holes: This team has a smattering of good spots, but most of their team is, unfortunately, less than outstanding. Fausto Amaral and Curtis Wireman lead this team of no-name players who, despite having a .273 team batting average, have only scored 385 runs to this point. The pitching is quite a bit better, having only allowed 63 homeruns so far this season, 1st among pitching staffs. Their team ERA is low as well, but most of that can be attributed to the bullpen, including a rock-solid reliever in Jerry Jennings. Modesto Lamb is the only starter on the team worth talking about, and there’s just no hope for this team, and there never really has been since the inception of this league. Grade: D+

 

Memphis Eels: The Eels are another team that are just there in the South, and likely have no chance of catching up with the Hanoi Janes or the Jackoffs, despite only being in 3rd place and 9 games behind Atlanta. Edward James is the star of the group with 52 RBI and 32 stolen bases, and Robert Guarino has also made a good contribution to the Eels’ cause. The pitching kills Memphis, though, as Claudio “The Enforcer” Galaviz is honestly wasting his talent sticking around in Memphis. With a 10-5 record and a 2.72 ERA, he’s the best that Memphis has to offer in pitching. Even though he went on a cold streak before the All-Star break, he still garnered an All-Star nomination. He’ll just have to stick around on the team and collect his 11 million dollars a year. Grade: C-

 

New Jersey Clerks: This team is the most surprising to come out of the first half of this season, and it’s time to see why. Without a doubt, the standout star for the Clerks’ offense is Trent Morphy. .350 batting average, 20 HR, 81 RBI, and even 19 stolen bases for a change of pace. This former Glory Hole member has moved on to greener pastures, and it’s likely that he’ll at least carry the Clerks to a second place finish, if not the playoffs. Gordon Mingo, another former Glory Hole player is also making a significant contribution, but no one player can quite match what Morphy has done for this team in the first half of the season. The pitching is very mediocre, with bright spots in Juan Pearson and reliever Eddie Frisby. This team has a shot to make it to the playoffs, but the offense is going to need to step it up in the home stretch if it wants to hold off the Baltimore Crime Spree or even the Philadelphia Freedom. Grade: B+

 

New York Bums: The Bums are playing like their namesake, and many fans find themselves fortunate that Boston is also down in the basement, otherwise the Bums would be cozying themselves into that position. With the exception of Henry Devleeschouwer, the New York offense is absolutely putrid, scoring only 380 runs with a team batting average of .256. Roydrick Patel is quite the good pitcher, able to get over the lack of run support and put together respectable numbers, including a 4.20 ERA that is the lowest ERA of any pitcher in the dugout. This team is in dire straits, and there’s nowhere to go but down for them. They’ll be celebrating this season in the cellar with the Tea Baggers. Grade: F

 

Philadelphia Freedom: They’re 9 games out, but they certainly are not out just yet. The defending East-West conference champions have an above average offense that can take them places. Cristian “Galaxy” Vasquez is driving in the runs, while Alberto Avila is able to get on base for that run production. Cristian has 21 homeruns and 70 RBI going into the break, while Avila has 122 hits and a stellar .358 average. The Freedom hope that this offense will be enough to help out the pitching staff, which isn’t so great this year. Ken “Fats” Pfleiderer is good enough, but for a team that has scored the 4th-highest run total this year, giving up just 7 runs under that number is very, very sad. The fans are behind the Freedom after their run to the championship last year, but now they have to get up and make a charge at the Clerks. If they can keep producing the runs, they just might be able to do it. Grade: B-

 

Phoenix Ashes: Seeing the Ashes in the bottom of the standings is no surprise anymore. They are perennial losers, somewhat like the Charlotte Harlots, except they have always had a standout in Shiro Suzuki on their team. This year is no different, as Suzuki has lit up pitchers for 120 hits, 67 RBI and a .382 batting average overall. Steven Boyster is also giving some good numbers up for the team, but the real story is in the pitching of the Ashes, and it’s why the Ashes are only 7 games behind when they’re in 5th place. Nathan Thrush is one of the hottest pitchers in the history of this game, and at 36 years old, he’s still got it. He has a record of 12-2, with a 3.16 ERA. The bullpen is also a work of perfection, as the Ashes have only allowed 389 runs this season. If Phoenix suddenly hits a groove and can start driving in runs, expect them to sneak up the standings and get involved with the gridlock atop the standings. However, with the way the team is looking right now, only expect Suzuki to be carrying the team to a disappointing finish. Grade: C

 

Seattle Frasiers: We’ve come to the final of the three teams locked into that first place position in the West. This team is mostly about the pitching, but the offense isn’t too bad. It’s a team effort, but the team as a whole is very slow--28 team stolen bases--and Gary Sites and R.J. Frost will likely emerge in the 2nd half to become the big stars for the team and attempt to keep themselves at the top of the standings. The pitching staff is very well rounded, featuring prospect Manuel Chao, Tracy Charland, and some nice relief work from Samuel Martinez, one of the best closers in the SFBL today. There’s not much more that can be said about the Frasiers. Their pitching staff is quite exceptional, and can carry them places. But they’ll need an offensive outburst--much like the Ashes--to get things going. Grade: C+

 

Vancouver Vasectomy: The Vasectomy is the #1 team in the North, and after much analysis, we’re still not quite sure why this is. Despite massive homerun production (104 team homeruns), the offense is nothing that special. Shimetarou Naoki is on the top of his game as usual mostly relies on Jm Macias. Ralph Mitchell is looking good, per usual, but that’s the only bright spot on an otherwise dismal pitching staff. If it seems like this paragraph on the Vasectomy is shorter than usual, well…it is. That’s because the Vasectomy are #1 in a division that is filled with mostly shit teams. Grade: C-

 

PREDICTIONS

 

END-OF-SEASON STANDINGS

 

EAST

 

1) New Jersey

2) Philadelphia

3) Baltimore

4) New York

5) Boston

 

WEST

 

1) Las Vegas

2) Denver

3) Seattle

4) Phoenix

5) Los Angeles

 

NORTH

 

1) Indianapolis

2) Vancouver

3) Columbus

4) Detroit

5) Chicago

 

SOUTH

 

1) Jacksonville

2) Atlanta

3) Houston

4) Memphis

5) Charlotte

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

*marks out*

[Der Kommissar 0]

I hope that Shiro gets traded/signs with another team in the off season. The Ashes are pathetic.

[HarleyQuinn 0]

*marks out as well, awaits to see how he did this season and if the Hanoi Janes can finally beat those fucking Jackoffs...hah!*

[Cartman 0]

Atlanta seems too similar to the Red Sox...all those great players and a 2nd place finish every year.

 

*sigh*

 

LeBeau is in his prime for christ sakes lets get him and Desantis a ring already!!!!

[the pinjockey 0]

Yes, I DEMAND A RIGN!

[Lightning Flik 0]

Yes, I DEMAND A RIGN!

AND I WANT OUT OF MEMPHIS!

 

...as a freaking free agent. I am NOT re-signing with a team that continually sits in the bloody basement.

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

AND I...

 

oh wait, my team has been dominant for years. Coincidence, no doubt.

[Guest Evolution]

AND I...

 

oh wait, my team has been dominant for years. Coincidence, no doubt.

I think most of the Hanoi Janes are just waiting for you to have that career-ending injury that will eventually befall one of us, more than likely.

[Guest Evolution]

These players were selected for the EW OOTP-Allstar Team :

3B Shiro Suzuki from Phoenix

 

These players were selected for the NS OOTP-Allstar Team :

P Giant Gonzales from Atlanta

P Eric LeBeau from Atlanta

1B Carlos DeSantis from Atlanta

SS Winston Ghandi from Jacksonville

LF Robert Henderson from Columbus

 

Batting Lineup Positions:

 

EW

2) Shiro Suzuki

 

NS

2) Winston Ghandi

3) Carlos DeSantis

5) Robert Henderson

 

The Game:

 

In the biggest blowout in SFBL All-Star Game history, the North-South won handily 19-8 against the East-West on the strength of an 11-run 5th inning.

 

Robert Henderson went 3-for-6 with 2 RBI and a homerun in the high-scoring 5th inning, earning himself the All-Star Game MVP award.

 

Other people hitting homeruns in the 5th inning included Shimetarou Naoki (who hit a pinch-hit grand slam), Carlos DeSantis (2-run homerun), and Robt Knudtson (three-run homerun). Manuel Chao gave up all 11 runs in the 5th inning before being replaced in the 6th inning.

 

The fans at Summer's Eve Field were pleased at watching their hometown hero Winston Ghandi play once again in an All-Star game. Although Ghandi went 0-for-3, he crossed the plate 2 times.

 

The winning pitcher was Ronnie Galeana, who pitched during the 5th inning. Giant Gonzales also got 2 innings pitched, giving up 2 runs on 4 hits.

 

DeSantis went 2-for-4 with 3 RBI and scoring twice, and East-West Allstar Shiro Suzuki went 2-for-5 while striking out once and crossing the plate once.

[the pinjockey 0]

David Hunter, get over here boy, you cost me Ghandi by going behind my back and talking to the GM. You said we need pitching, but we had two all-stars. We could have had Ghandi.

 

:starts to plot with GM about not resigning Hunter, glares at Hunter:

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

*poses, spits water*

[HarleyQuinn 0]

Bah, I still maintain that pitching wins ball games...

 

*slinks away into getaway vehicle*

[Guest Evolution]

Wow. You guys are not going to believe the finish to this season.

 

I'm just going to post the standings, because this is WONKY.

 

East

 

Team W L PCT GB

New Jersey 85 77 .525 -

Baltimore 84 78 .519 1.0

Philadelphia 77 85 .475 8.0

New York 68 94 .420 17.0

Boston 63 99 .389 22.0

 

West

 

Team W L PCT GB

Denver 96 66 .593 -

Las Vegas 93 69 .574 3.0

Seattle 90 72 .556 6.0

Los Angeles 78 84 .481 18.0

Phoenix 76 86 .469 20.0

 

North

 

Team W L PCT GB

Vancouver 85 77 .525 -

Indianapolis 80 82 .494 5.0

Detroit 79 83 .488 6.0

Columbus 71 91 .438 14.0

Chicago 63 99 .389 22.0

 

South

 

Team W L PCT GB

Jacksonville 102 60 .630 -

Atlanta 96 66 .593 6.0

Charlotte 85 77 .525 17.0

Memphis 81 81 .500 21.0

Houston 68 94 .420 34.0

 

I must say.

 

Aside from the disappointing All-Star Game, this is one of the most exciting seasons I have ever seen. Don't let the standings fool you: Atlanta made Jacksonville's life hell. Atlanta slipped, however, and was beaten in a 2-game series in late September by the Jackoffs, and they never recovered.

 

The East was as close as I was expecting it to be, and Vancouver slipped up plenty to make the North exciting.

 

New Jersey vs. Denver

Vancouver vs. Jacksonville

 

Jacksonville is the strongest overall team in the playoffs, but teams just as good have fallen in the first round, let alone the championship.

 

EDIT: This season provides a great reason to provide a Wildcard team into the playoffs. Atlanta would've made it in with ease, and the East-West wildcard would've been tight between LV and Seattle.

 

However, I don't want to endanger the quality of this game by fucking up any expansion process.

 

If I do it, it'll be after much painstaking debate within myself.

 

Do you guys think it'd be a good idea to move to 4 teams in 3 divisions per league? I'd need to add 4 teams and establish what the extra divisions are, since I've relied on North-South and East-West for so long.

[the pinjockey 0]

I like the way it is now, it will make our eventual defeat of Jackso.....I can't even say that with a straight face.

 

::glares at Hunter::

[Guest Evolution]

You know, Hunter is right.

 

Atlanta has always needed pitching.

 

Aside from LeBeau, Gonzales, Meraz and the Berserker, every other pitcher sucks balls. ESPECIALLY in the bullpen. Jacksonville has a vastly superior pitching staff, and that's what likely killed you in the two games against them towards the end of the season, when it was CRUCIAL that you win.

 

(Yes, I did just say Giant was a good pitcher. You'll all see in the SFBL update.)

[HarleyQuinn 0]

*bows* Thank ya very much Evo. See, told you Pinhead!

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

You know, Hunter is right.

 

Atlanta has always needed pitching.

 

Aside from LeBeau, Gonzales, Meraz and the Berserker, every other pitcher sucks balls. ESPECIALLY in the bullpen. Jacksonville has a vastly superior pitching staff, and that's what likely killed you in the two games against them towards the end of the season, when it was CRUCIAL that you win.

 

(Yes, I did just say Giant was a good pitcher. You'll all see in the SFBL update.)

I don't think we should restructure the league. It's fine the way it is. However, perhaps the G-Man (Or another Jane) could move to the bullpen. You know, for the good of the team.

 

And I too am shocked that the G-Man is a good pitcher this year. He must've grown that mustache. Or he killed several small animals to remove the curses and hexes he'd gotten from borrowing Papa Shango's CD player and then breaking it.

 

C'mon Janes, let's uh...get billions of dollars and buy talent! That's the way!

[HarleyQuinn 0]

Hey Evo, you going to transfer this to OOTP 6 upon its release?

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Hey Evo, you going to transfer this to OOTP 6 upon its release?

The real question is, will Evo update this before OOTP 6 is released? I've been wondering how Gonzales did for quite some time now. Oh well, it's not like much more time will kill me.

[Guest Evolution]

Being the cheap bastard that I am, no, don't expect this to move to OOTP 6 anytime soon. And really, I don't see the big deal with the new version to begin with, so color me unenthused about risking the chance of fucking up this league by moving it to the new version.

[Guest Evolution]

SFBL 2011 Recap

 

Before we get to the meat and potatoes of this recap (Upgrade/Downgrade), let me break down the 25 hitters and pitchers in the game according to star rating.

 

Top 25 SFBL Hitters:

 

1) Winston Ghandi (SS, Jacksonville, *****)

2) J.C. Morello (C, Houston, *****)

3) Carlos DeSantis (1B, Atlanta, *****)

4) Sergio Santana (CF, Memphis, *****)

5) Abel Ortiz (LF, Denver, *****)

6) R.J. Frost (1B, Seattle, ****1/2)

7) Robert Henderson (LF, Columbus, ****1/2)

8) David Zearge (C, Indianapolis, ****1/2)

9) Edward James (3B, Memphis, ****1/2)

10) Herbert Huber (CF, New Jersey, ****1/2)

11) Trent Morphy (2B, New Jersey, ****1/2)

12) Neall Isaacson (2B, Boston, ****1/2)

13) Henry Devleeschouwer (SS, New York, ****)

14) Oscar Ortiz (LF, Memphis, ****)

15) Brandon Mariano (RF, Jacksonville, ****)

16) Samuel Sainz (SS, Chicago, ****)

17) Robert Guarino (1B, Memphis, ****)

18) Raimundo Robledo (3B, Boston, ****)

19) Matthew Welke (3B, Baltimore, ****)

20) Robt Knudtson (2B, Detroit, ****)

21) Brett Smith (2B, Las Vegas, ****)

22) Shiro Suzuki (3B, Phoenix, ****)

23) Shimetarou Naoki (1B, Vancouver, ****)

24) Jose Santillo (CF, Atlanta, ****)

25) Zachariah Orlowski (LF, Houston, ****)

 

Top 25 SFBL Pitchers:

1) George Alongi (SP, Jacksonville, *****)

2) Cedric Fukusaburu (CL, Jacksonville, *****)

3) Juan Alvarez (SP, Denver, *****)

4) Jason Baker (MR, Houston, *****)

5) Felix Rodas (SP, Colorado, *****)

6) Joey Salvador (SP, Jacksonville, *****)

7) Luciano Rovira (CL, Philadelphia, *****)

8) Eric LeBeau (SP, Atlanta, *****)

9) Marco Jimenez (MR, Colorado, *****)

10) Jose Paniagua (SP, Las Vegas, *****)

11) Nathan Thrush (SP, Phoenix, *****)

12) Claudio Galaviz (SP, Memphis, *****)

13) Andrew Horvath (MR, Detroit, *****)

14) King Caffee (MR, Denver, *****)

15) Ralph Mitchell (SP, Vancouver, *****)

16) Tracy Charland (SP, Seattle, *****)

17) John Propes (SP, Detroit, *****)

18) Davor Espinosa (MR, Detroit, *****)

19) Juan Pearson (SP, New Jersey, *****)

20) Rolando Tavares (MR, Chicago, *****)

21) Andres Delao (MR, Houston, *****)

22) Yogi Hisashi (SP, Indianapolis, *****)

23) Tito Aquino (SP, Vancouver, *****)

24) Doug Izzet (MR, Seattle, ****1/2)

25) Daniel Finlay (MR, Colorado, ****1/2)

 

Now, with that out of the way, let’s get to the main part of the recap!

 

UPGRADE/DOWNGRADE

 

This section will breakdown all 20 teams in the SFBL and based on their performance in the second half, a designation of Upgrade or Downgrade will be given. I may also give “Slight Upgrade” or “Slight Downgrade” if I see fit to do so, but I have a feeling that most will fall in either of the main categories.

 

So, let’s go!

 

Atlanta Hanoi Janes - Towards the end of the season, the homeruns for the Hanoi Janes fell off slightly, with Carlos DeSantis and Steve “Sticky Hands” Hatfield providing most of the dingers, even though 7 others had 10 or more homeruns. Still, the 187 team homeruns was merely par for the SFBL, and was the only downside to an otherwise dynamite offense that produced 1037 runs this season, easily enough for 1st place among teams in that statistic. The pitching needed to see some improvement, and the improvement came in small doses, too small to make an effect on the Jackoffs, who eventually took the lead from Atlanta and are now back in the playoffs as defending SFBL champions. Eric LeBeau is a contender for the Rocket Wrist award at 22-8 with a 3.05 ERA and left-handed batters hitting only .177 against him (right-handed: .214). Giant Gonzales has remained solid despite being one of the older players on this team, finishing with a very good 19-8 record and a 3.61 ERA. Alphonso Meraz and Rolf Dreikugeln traded off closing honors, with Rolf grabbing 28 saves and Meraz collecting 14 of his own for an otherwise disappointing bullpen. Call it a slight upgrade as the Hanoi Janes simply did not do enough with the pitching.

 

Baltimore Crime Spree - Matthew Welke remained a bright spot for the Baltimore offense, but was joined in his efforts by Joe Larkin, both men producing 100+ RBIs as the Crime Spree finished the season one game behind in the standings. The pitching remained solid (except for 207 allowed homeruns) as Jerry Hooley had a respectable 13-10 record with a 4.31 ERA. Francisco Vives remains one of the best relievers in baseball by collecting 35 saves even with a 4.02 ERA. However, trading away pitcher Doug Safwat (who was doing perfectly fine) was a mistake for Baltimore, as the person they traded for (C Rogerio Estrada) didn’t provide anything of note for Baltimore. Slight downgrade, because of the trading of Doug Safwat for an offensive player who couldn’t produce anything to turn around the Crime Spree’s terrible offense.

 

Boston Tea Baggers - As I had predicted earlier in the season, Boston did come very close to a 100-loss season, and it’s a miracle that they managed to avoid it. This team is simply awful, and Georgie “Flash” Stanback is a Rocket Wrist candidate on a pitching staff that can’t support him when he goes off the mound--with the exception of solid closer Warren Lewis, who picked up 32 saves during the season. Todd Oviedo and Anderson Goers remained the sole producers of offense for Boston, but the simple fact is that they weren’t providing much of anything along the lines of offense. Score it a downgrade, as Oviedo and Goers weren’t able to turn on the rest of the offense, and Stanback simply isn’t enough to warrant anything other than a “thumbs down” for this awful, awful team that won’t be associated with the word “playoffs” for some time if this trend continues.

 

Charlotte Harlots - Like WO. I certainly didn’t expect Charlotte--a team I gave a D+ to at midseason--to turn things around and finish a respectable third place in the South, 17 games behind the Jackoffs but certainly out of the cellar. Credit the pitching for stepping up out of the grave they were burying and come through with flying colors. The Charlotte GM did some creative moving over the postseason and landed a blockbuster deal for Enoch Mylchreest, a very well-respected pitcher. The Harlots kept their opponents down to a .254 batting average, remaining tops in the league for the 2nd half in that stat. Furthermore, they managed to balance out the sub-par offense by only allowing 799 runs, the same amount that Charlotte scored themselves! With the team ERA at a shiny 4.47, it’s obvious that Charlotte was on an upswing in the second half, even though they DID finish 17 games behind the division leader. It’s an upgrade all the way, as Charlotte actually are taking some steps in the right direction. However, you’ll have to forget all about the offense to consider Charlotte as a contender. The offense needs work, but at least Charlotte is trying.

 

Chicago Transit Authority - This team, however, is a good example of what happens when good teams go bad and do nothing about it. Chicago’s offense is generally accepted by experts as the absolute worst this year, as Samuel Sainz’ 32 homeruns and 107 RBI are still not enough to take this team anywhere else but down. Much like Boston, they too avoided a 100-loss season, a definite miracle when you look at the pitching staff, which is the worst pitching staff in the SFBL, a true fact. Daniel Estill is losing his zing, Andrew Fasquelle is a prospect that has yet to blossom and will need a couple of years on a squad like this one. The bullpen and the starters equally share the burden this time around, as no one person can really be to blame for Chicago doing what they did this season. It was a team effort to earn a downgrade, as they managed to suck even more than they did after the first half. I’m almost tempted to give them an upgrade for avoiding a 100-loss season, though. Almost.

Columbus Pride - After the first half, it is apparent that Columbus decided to just let the bottom drop out on their team. And drop, it certainly did. The team batting average is the only bright spot--a .287 marks is good enough for 3rd best among the SFBL teams--but they mostly have Big Red to thank for that. Robert Henderson finished with a .367 batting average, 36 HR, and 127 RBI to cap off an amazing season that, as previously mentioned in my midseason recap, will likely be dwarfed by the efforts that Carlos DeSantis put forward in the regular season. Gilbert Alvarez and Daryl Mcconnaughey fell off in the second half of the season and Harry Ducharme had to step things up to help out the offense, but it was definitely too little, too late. For Columbus, however, things did not change with the pitching as Felix Rodas remained the only star on that side with a 3.55 ERA and a 16-14 record. Downgrade, as Columbus finished in 4th place for a reason, combining a strong first half with an equally weak second half that just killed their chances at returning to the playoffs for a second straight season.

 

Denver Douchebags - Finally, back to the better teams in this league. I had predicted earlier in the season that the pitching would sink Denver out of the 3-way tie in the West, but it actually managed to stand tall against the competition as Denver are advancing to the playoffs. This, however, is mostly on the strength of the offense, which produced 1,034 runs, a very close second in the SFBL to Atlanta’s 1,037. This was mostly a team effort on offense, however. Abel Ortiz and Marc Taylor were certainly both standouts with .358, 44 HR, 129 RBI and .292, 24 HR, and 112 RBI respectively, but 6 other players on the squad knocked in 80 runs or more, in an offense that just simply got a lot of things done, hitting the most homeruns in the league and finishing with a league-best .292 team batting average. The pitching improved somewhat with Juan Alvarez finishing 17-7 with a 3.21 ERA and Jayme Hermann and Cedric Rojas both finishing with 13-win seasons. The bullpen still brought things down and was very unreliable down the stretch, especially with Enrique Orozco blowing 13 of his 51 save opportunities this season (he only blew 6 saves with the same number of opportunities last year). That will likely come into play during the playoffs, but consider it an upgrade as Denver certainly improved themselves to put distance between themselves and Las Vegas/Seattle to take the West. What they’ll do against the Clerks and perhaps future opposition in the playoffs is yet to be seen.

 

Detroit Motor Vehicles - Detroit finished in 3rd place, only six games behind Vancouver in the North, and they still remained the average team that they were at the break. Robt Knudtson stepped up in the 2nd half to join Logan Caldwell as an effective part of Detroit’s offensive, both men finishing with 100+ RBI and .310+ batting averages. However, the pitching took a little bump, as John Propes and Samuel Vazquez didn’t quite pan out in the second half as was expected during my midseason report. Propes finished 12-15, and Samuel finished 10-9. Overall, this team was simply just there and there’s nothing too terrible or too great about them. They’ve got stars on offense, but they could use some starpower on the mound as that will possibly be their downfall should Propes, Vazquez, and the other starters stumble next year. We’ll call it a slight upgrade since Robt Knudtson showed up to play baseball and Logan Caldwell remains a solid offensive producer for Detroit in the weak North.

Houston Horny Toads - Houston was rated my Most Disappointing Team in the first half, and they kept that ball rolling by finishing in the basement of the South with a 68-94 record, an amazing 34 games behind the Jackoffs. Granted, Jacksonville is a very different team than Houston, but the fact is that the Houston offense is very strong. J.C. Morello is a solid candidate for the Big Stick Award, and Reverend Patrick Hannon is one of the hottest batting prospects in the SFBL right now! Zachariah Orlowski has lost a step, it’s true, but the fact that Houston produced 880 runs should be more than enough to get them out of the basement in the South, right?

 

Well, now you have to meet Houston’s pitching staff. And an abomination of a pitching staff it is. Peter Reynosa finished the season at 7-18, and John Carson was the only man who finished with a record over .500 for starting pitchers. With the kind of offensive help that they can get, the futility of the pitching is inexcusable. Theodore Ellingsworth is a good enough closer, but will obviously not win the games that Houston needs to win. Houston has crashed and burned hard since last season, but this team has a lot of ups and downs. The offense will be fine for now, but I can’t say it enough that the pitching is in serious need of assistance. The only thing that Houston fans can hope for is that the Toads recover from this tragic downgrade.

 

Indianapolis Ignition - The team batting average remained low for the Ignition, but many things about the offense were looking up in the second half. David Zearge, Ben Cruz, James Mobley and Mike Cannington all finished with 100 RBI or more, and the foursome combined for 114 of Indy’s 200 team homeruns (good for 6th best among SFBL teams). The team scored 933 runs, 6th place again among SFBL teams, and overall proved that they belonged at 2nd place in the North, despite finishing under .500. The pitching is a very good reason why they are NOT in first. Much like the rest of the North, Indy’s pitching is terrible. Yogi Hisashi turned things around in the 2nd half and finished with a 13-13 record, and a 4.18 ERA, which is a big step down from what he used to be able to produce. Celso Cabrales produced for the Ignition with a 4.47 ERA and a 14-10 record, but the bullpen held down the team if the starters didn’t do it themselves. The Ignition unfortunately allowed 47 more runs than they scored, which is an easy way to keep any team out of first place. The Ignition was very fortunate that the North Division is the weakest of the four in the SFBL. This upgrade isn’t saying much for the team, as it’ll be interesting to see what happens in 2012.

 

Jacksonville Jackoffs - Everyone’s talking about Jacksonville. From their amazing comeback late in the season to dethrone their mortal enemies Atlanta, to the lawsuit levied against them by basketball superstar LeBron James (for “LeBron Lube Day”). Legal battles and crummy promotions aside, the Jacksonville are the hottest team in the SFBL, and are heavy favorites to repeat as SFBL champions. And with the highest payroll in the league, that should be expected. Eugene Widrick, who was traded to Jacksonville before the deadline by the DMV, produced some big numbers for the Jackoffs despite dealing with an injury during most of the month of August. In the months of September and October alone, he hit .321 with 12 homeruns and 39 RBI, and intricate part in the comeback process that brought the Jackoffs another South Division title. Winston Ghandi brought the hits, despite not driving in as many runs as we’re accustomed to seeing. The 5-time All-Star finished with a .326 batting average, second only to teammate Brandon Mariano, who finished with 18 homeruns and 110 RBI on top of his stellar .340 batting average. Zoilo Castillo remains a deep threat with 26 HR and 111 RBI.

 

Now we’ve got to talk about the pitching. 

 

Just like Schweaty Balls, there’s simply no beating the Jacksonville pitching staff. Combined, Jacksonville only allowed 715 runs (lowest among SFBL teams), while they scored 1,003--a very good ratio. George Alongi, Ronnie Galeana, and Joey Salvador are the starting stars, while Ramon Razo is performing well likely by virtue of just having a powerful offense behind him. Cedric Fukusaburu is as good as ever--his save count of 21 is misleading: He’s got a 2.39 ERA to back it up.

 

So, with all of this said, where do I stand on this team? Well, consider this. Atlanta were three games behind Jacksonville at the All-Star Break. They later made a comeback and overcame the Jacksonville factor until the final two weeks came around. When the stress was on, Jacksonville proved to be the better team and managed to roll to a 102-60 season. And they’re as good on the road as they are at home! Upgrade, and here’s to Jacksonville for 2011 SFBL champions!

 

Las Vegas Jokers - Las Vegas was my favorite to take the West Division, and they certainly came close, finishing three games behind Denver. The blame should mostly fall on the shoulders of the offense--a field with Las Vegas is never known for excelling in. Brett Smith and Ronnie Desrochers worked hard to keep Las Vegas afloat, and their efforts should be commended, despite the disappointing 2nd place finish to the Douchebags. Donovan Habedank--now on his 4th team in his six-year career--was a very good hitter but couldn’t bring the runs home, which ultimately led to the demise of the Jokers.

 

As for the pitching, the Jokers are very gradually returning to their golden days when the pitching alone would be more than enough to get Sin City into the playoffs. Jose Paniagua leads the charge with a Rocket Wrist-worthy season of 22-7 with a 4.52 ERA. Miguel Moldonado is another starter on the Jokers, much more underrated than Paniagua but with some good stats himself: 12-6 with a 2.85 ERA. Frank Elston and Marvin Jenkins (to a certain extent) are keeping the pitching staff from returning to greatness, but behind the starters, bullpen, and 39-save closer John Cosenza, they’re on the right track. Since the team ERA has definitely improved and Paniagua went 12-3 in the second half of the season, it’s hard NOT to award the Jokers with an upgrade, albeit a moot one since they fell short of the playoffs.

 

Los Angeles Glory Holes - Ugh. When I get to this part of the recap, I always begin to feel sick to my stomach. Perhaps it’s because that there’s so little to say about the Glory Holes every year. The Glory Holes are truly the only team that has done absolutely nothing in the SFBL, ever.

 

The same still applies this year, although perhaps to a lesser extent. The Glory Holes’ offense can only claim one good thing: They’re quite fast, with 143 stolen bases by the entire team. However, the rest of the offense is awful, awful, awful. Edgar Clune is a good hitter, no doubt, but he’s also 35 years old and certainly reaching the downhill point of his peak in this league. No one is even close to ready for replacing Edgar Clune’s numbers, as most players are one trick ponies: They can hit, they can smack homeruns, or they can methodically drive in runs. No mixing of these three qualities makes for a very, very bad team.

 

The pitching remains a somewhat bright spot for the team, as Modesto Lamb didn’t skip a beat from first half to second half, finishing with a very good 17-5 record and 3.64 ERA, amazing numbers for a pitcher that likely didn’t get much of anything along the lines of run support. The bullpen is very strong, with Jerry Jennings able to clean up the messes that Los Angeles makes more often than not, finishing the season with 31 saves in 41 opportunities. The team batting average took a 9-point plunge and for that reason I feel it is my duty to give Los Angeles a downgrade. They didn’t finish in the basement, but perhaps they should’ve.

 

Memphis Eels - The Memphis Eels finished with a .500 record, very good for a team that finished in 4th place, 21 games behind the leader. Memphis’ stars on offense should get most of the credit, as the threesome of Robert Guarino, Edward James, and Oscar Ortiz were very much keeping the team out of the basement throughout the season. Guarino finished with a disappointing .256 average, but had 33 homeruns and 125 RBI to attempt and counteract such numbers. James is a little better-rounded, with a .290 batting average, 15 HR, and 95 RBI. Finally, Oscar Ortiz is likely the best and least-known of the three, with a .294 batting average, 28 homeruns and 102 RBI. Unfortunately for the Eels, no one could quite come close to the numbers these three produced.

 

And the pitching wasn’t very much better. Claudio Galaviz IS one of the best pitchers in the league with a 18-6 record and a 2.50 ERA, it’s true, but the rest of the team is just not worth talking about. Even Chris Addington’s 30 saves are counteracted by the fact that he has 9 losses to his record. The bullpen isn’t as bad as the starting five--three of the five starters have double or triple Claudio’s ERA--but it’s certainly a team effort to suck and suck hard. Also, the pitchers allowed 226 homeruns as a group, while Memphis themselves could only hit 158 balls out of the park. Memphis barely scored more runs than they gave up, and it’s really not worth talking about any further, so I’ll stop while the Eels are properly thrashed. Memphis lost a lot of ground in the second half on their competition in the South, and there’s just something inherently wrong about these Eels. They did win a championship a few years ago, I think. Downgrade.

 

New Jersey Clerks - The Clerks are #1 in the East, and I’m still wondering how. Although the East Division isn’t nearly as weak as the North, it certainly is a close second, and this seems to be proof of such a theory. With a 85-77 record, the Clerks are a mostly offensive team. Herbert Huber has now turned to a life of hitting the ball inside the park instead of out of it, with his batting average at a svelte .315 with only 28 dingers and 95 runs batted in. Trent Morphy, long-time Glory Hole who was traded to the Clerks in 2010 got a chance to show off this year with a .310 average, 40 homeruns, and 135 RBI, making him a very strong pick for Big Stick award winner. Once again, not a lot of men come close to these two men in terms of offensive production, and that will definitely hurt the Clerks when they face off against the Douchebags.

 

The pitching will not drag them out of the hole they are digging right now, and it’s hard to believe that a playoff team with this kind of rotation actually made it into the playoffs. Juan Pearson is halfway to 40 and pushing a 6.00 ERA (currently sporting 5.99) with a 12-10 record. Benji Cabello was a very good reliever for the Clerks and managed to pick up 11 wins and strike out 109 in 119 innings of work. Raul Alvarado is a strong prospect who has the potential to strike out 200 in a few seasons, but his 8-16 record and 6.14 ERA is very worrisome. Finally, Eddie Frisby, the man who closes the door for the Clerks, with 38 saves in 47 opportunities might be the best kind of pitching that one can find on this team.

 

It’s easy to predict that Denver will roll over New Jersey in the playoffs en route to the SFBL Championship series…which is why I’m predicting that Denver will roll over New Jersey in the playoffs en route to the SFBL Championship series.

 

Since the pitching was even worse in the second than the first half, consider it a downgrade and place your bets on Denver taking the series in a possible sweep over the Clerks.

 

New York Bums - We go from Clerks to Bums, and it’s no coincidence this year that New York has that moniker. 17 games behind the Clerks and 94-game losers, the Bums will have some time this offseason to think about what they can do with this former playoff-caliber team. Henry Devleeschouwer’s .296 batting average, 25 homeruns, and 97 RBI led the team in all areas, so offense would definitely be something that the team should be looking for during the offseason, and looking to improve in their current players. Right now, Erubiel Salas looks to be the only real great part of the Bums besides “Devo,” and as most can expect, that’s not saying a whole lot.

 

Pitching, pitching, pitching. Not the most offensive squad in the league this year, but certainly worthy of a 4th place finish in the standings. Fredrick Mcconnell was alright with a 14-12 and a 4.96 ERA, and Trace Kessinger is a little known pitcher who finished with a 15-12 record and 4.62 average. Both the bullpen and the starters are not anything to talk about, though, as it is once again--for the most part--a team effort to bring down the entire team. Roydrick Patel managed to improve his ERA to 4.19, the lowest among the starters, but it still isn’t enough. New York didn’t end up in the basement, but they came damn close, so it’s a downgrade for them, as the offense simply isn’t good and the pitching is on a minor upswing that will likely be countered by next year.

 

Philadelphia Freedom - The Freedom haven’t quite fallen as hard as Houston has, but they’ve certainly been hurting 8 games behind the Clerks with a 77-85 record. The hitting is damn good, though. Cristian Vasquez, John Scherfenberg, and Jed Goude all finished with more than 100 RBI, with Alberto Avila, Richard Nickel and Merlin McKnight coming VERY close to achieving the 100 RBI mark. All told, the Freedom scored 938 runs, stole 207 bases (mostly thanks to Vasquez, Scherfenberg and Scott Foshee), and drew 753 walks while hitting 199 balls out of the park and finishing with a respectable .274 batting average. Everything looks good on paper so far for the Freedom.

 

However, I still need to talk about the pitching. And yes, that is once again the downfall of this team (as it is with seemingly every good offensive team). The 938 runs scored by the Freedom are dwarfed by the statistic of allowing 939 runs, the 15th-worst total among SFBL teams. Juan Olmos (11-9, 4.26 ERA), Ken Pfleiderer (12-10, 5.67 ERA), and Doug Safwat (12-8, 4.82 ERA, traded from Baltimore) are all good enough, but the bullpen chips in to bring the team ERA up to a disappointing 5.13. The Freedom also allowed an unacceptable 212 homeruns, completely countering the fact that they held opponents to an impressive .266 average. The Freedom has the next-to-lowest payroll in the league, so it should be pointed out that they ARE making something out of near nothing. However, they should possibly look into spending a little bit more money and picking up some quality pitching. If they can do that much, expect for them to definitely be a contender next year in the North. Upgrade

 

Phoenix Ashes - Phoenix is a pretty good team that just has problems collecting wins. For that reason, they sat in the basement at the conclusion of the 2011 season with a 76-86 record, good enough to be 20 games behind the leader.

 

All things considered, the offense isn’t that terrible. Shiro Suzuki has once again emerged as a leader of the team, hitting .349, driving in 107 runs and knocking 24 balls out of the park while crossing the plate himself 110 times. Josue Castro came up with similar numbers (23 homeruns and 103 RBI), but had a .263 batting average that definitely paled in comparison to Suzuki’s average. George Kennedy didn’t have much along the lines of homeruns or runs batted in, but his 73 stolen bases allowed him to cross the plate 106 times for the Ashes.

 

When it comes to the pitching, the Ashes actually had a respectable group of men, mostly led by the efforts of Nathan Thrush. His 20-6 record, 3.50 ERA, and 254 Ks made this his breakout season in his first year with Phoenix. He was a definite help to the pitching, as most of the others weren’t even close to being that good. In fact, the average ERA of the other 4 starters was somewhere in the 5s, making Nathan Thrush seem like a very welcome addition to the team. The bullpen did their job, keeping the runs to an absolute minimum and setting things up for Benny Berenguer, who knocked down 29 saves in 37 tries. In the end, Phoenix simply didn’t produce enough runs. They scored e780, while allowing only 818. The Ashes have one part of the formula right, now they need to put some more folks on the hitting side to balance out the Phoenix ship before it goes down in a pile of ashes. Upgrade, as Suzuki turned out to not be the only person helping the team along to a last place finish.

 

Seattle Frasiers - Seattle brings up the tail end of the big three-way tie, but they are by no means a bad team. They’re a very slow team--which seems to be a symptom of any team that R.J. Frost is on--as no member of the club has over 10 stolen bases to their credit. Otherwise, the offense is good, and as I had predicted, Gary Sites and R.J. Frost made up for most of the offense, with Edwardo Ceniceros providing some stats himself, mostly in the 2nd half of the season. John “Yoda” Tripp also added 114 RBI for the team.

 

The real story is in the pitching. Tracy Charland and hot prospect Manuel Chao both came through with amazing performances that warrant Rocket Wrist consideration. Charland struck out 223 batters en route to a 20-7 record and a 3.43 ERA, the latter being the lowest among the starting pitchers. Chao finished with a 19-9 record, but had a 4.70 ERA, which is still quite acceptable for the 24-year-old Chao, who has many more years ahead of him compared to the 31-year-old Charland. Hector Gomez’ accomplishments on the mound should not go unmentioned, too. His 11-9 record with a 3.91 ERA was very helpful to keeping Seattle afloat. Gomez will be back next year, looking to lock up his 100th victory as a pitcher (his current career record is 99-89). The bullpen is very solid, able to help the starters out of jams, and the closer Samuel Martinez is one of the best in the game, blowing 11 saves but having a 2.03 ERA to show for his efforts. Seattle should remain a contender next year, and the offense just needs a little tweaking to get to the top. With an improvement in offense, I give Seattle an upgrade, even if it ended up on the short end of the 3-way stick being pulled by Denver, Las Vegas, and themselves.

 

Vancouver Vasectomy - We rap this recap up with a look at the team that won the now perennially weak North Division. The thing about Vancouver is that they have a semi-decent pitching staff, which is more than the other 4 teams in the North can say for themselves. So, the 85-77 final record for the Vasectomy was more than enough to take them to the big show.

 

Their offense is very limited, with three men sending in the majority of the runs. Shimetarou Naoki is looking for his third Big Stick award with his .319 batting average, 47 homeruns and 123 runs batted in. His numbers are up from his first season in Vancouver, but whether or not that will be enough to win the Big Stick Award is yet to be seen: His numbers in the two Big Stick years (2007, 2009) were simply much better than his 2011 performance. Robert Mendell, a 9 year veteran with the Vasectomy, drove in 121 and hit 37 homeruns. Coupled with his .289 batting average, 2011 was very kind to the 36-year-old Mendell. He also crossed the plate 103 times and stole 14 bases. Finally, Jm Macias batted .311 while hitting 24 dingers and bringing home 108 runs. The story about Jm is his very low strikeout count--he’s only heard strike three 61 times compared to Naoki’s 131 strikeouts and Robert’s 147.

 

In fact, if there’s one problem with the Vasectomy, it’s that they’re prone to striking out: Only the Ignition (1357 team strikeouts) struck out more than Vancouver (1263).

 

The pitching is pretty good, with Olifio Suarez and Ralph Mitchell doing most of the dirty work with 14-5, 4.30 ERA and 18-7, 3.46 ERA respectively. The bullpen is respectable, and Thomas Hawkes only blew 6 saves, converting 34. However, the staff as a whole allowed 832 runs, something that will likely hurt them in the playoffs as they only scored 878 themselves. Also, Tito Aquino--once a prized ace--has lost a step with a 14-14 record and a 4.39 ERA. It’ll be interesting to see what he can do in the playoffs.

 

In fact, it’ll be interesting to see what the Vasectomy can do in general against a great team like the Jackoffs.

 

Upgrade, but Jackoffs will advance to the Championship.

 

CAREER LEADERBOARDS

 

Here’s a look at SFBL players and their standings on the career leaderboard (postseason stats do not count as career stats, * are active players):

 

Career Leaderboard

 

The postseason is on the way.

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

ownage!

 

The SFBL cheats death, and the mighty Ghandi is ascending to his rightful place in history.

 

ps - evo, the links to stats don't work

[the pinjockey 0]

::glares at Hunter for getting in the way of signing Ghandi::

[Guest Evolution]

The links on the career leaderboard aren't supposed to work. But the link to the career leaderboard itself should work.

 

I won't be putting updated player pages up on the site until I finish off the postseason.

 

And I'll never let the SFBL die. Ever. In fact, I plan on having a big series of SFBL updates during my spring break (in which I'll be spending at home )

[HarleyQuinn 0]

Backoff Pinboy, wasn't my fault there. He demanded too much macaroni and cheese for the management's pleasing. Anyways, I'm in 2nd in caree triples(2 behind) and 3rd in career SB's which is great as I was aiming to get both records when creating my player.