Tell a joke

[DrainYou42 0]

What did the deer say when she came out of the woods?

 

That's the last time I do that for two bucks.

[Hank Kingsley 0]

Did you hear the one about the dyslexic, Agnostic insomniac?

 

 

 

 

He stays up late at night wondering if there really is a dog.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

If you clone yourself, and take your naked clone up to the top of the Empire State Building and push him off, would you be charged with murder or suicide?

 

 

Neither, you'd be charged with making an obscene clone fall.

[nl5xsk1 0]

I guy goes to the counter of a drug store, and asks if his 10 years old daughter would be too young for birth control pills.

 

The woman behind the counter is amazed, and asks the guy "your 10 year old daughter? Is she sexually active?"

 

And the guy replies "no, she just lies there with her eyes closed until I'm done, just like her mother does"

 

 

 

 

Today's horribly offensive joke has been brought to you by the letter N.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

That was sickly beautiful.

[Guest Flyboy]

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT!

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

That was sickly beautiful.

Actually, it was very bland.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Sure, if you don't have a sense of humor, which you obviously don't because that was better than a thousand condensed comedies, turned into laffy serum, injected directly into the pinneal gland. 10 year old...birth control. oh buddy.

[Guest Flyboy]

I have a sense of humor, but the joke just wasn't funny.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

Laugh, damn you.

[Just John 0]

You know, I used to be in to flagellation, necrophilia, and beastiality. But then, I just realized I was beating a dead horse.

 

So, I was with this girl in the woods and I told her I waneted to do her in the BUTT.

"That's perposterous!" she replied.

I said, "Perposterous? That's a pretty big word for an 8-year-old."

 

Thank you.

[sfaJack 0]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

 

The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a

satisfied smile on its face.

 

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and

says,"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

[Guest JumpinJackFlash]

A kid has a paper to write about the difference between Potential and Reality. He asks his father what the difference between potential and reality is and the dad says," To find this out you must ask your mother, sister, and brother if they will sleep with Josh Hartnett for a million dollars." So he goes to his mother, asks the question, and she says "Don't tell your father this but yes." He then goes to his sister's room, asks the question, and she says "Oh yes! He's so hot!" He then knocks on his brother's door and his brother, who doesn't like his family that much, says "What do you want?" The kid asks him if he would sleep with Josh Hartnett for a million dollars. The brother says, "Well, it is a lot of money.....so.....okay! The kid goes back to his father and says that he has asked the question but still doesnt understand. The father says "Thank about it, son." The kid thinks for a second and says, "Yes, potentialy, we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're living with two sluts and a fag.

 

Thank you very much. I have more from where that came from.

[Guest JumpinJackFlash]

A kid has a paper to write about the difference between Potential and Reality. He asks his father what the difference between potential and reality is and the dad says," To find this out you must ask your mother, sister, and brother if they will sleep with Josh Hartnett for a million dollars." So he goes to his mother, asks the question, and she says "Don't tell your father this but yes." He then goes to his sister's room, asks the question, and she says "Oh yes! He's so hot!" He then knocks on his brother's door and his brother, who doesn't like his family that much, says "What do you want?" The kid asks him if he would sleep with Josh Hartnett for a million dollars. The brother says, "Well, it is a lot of money.....so.....okay! The kid goes back to his father and says that he has asked the question but still doesnt understand. The father says "Thank about it, son." The kid thinks for a second and says, "Yes, potentialy, we're sitting on three million dollars, but in reality we're living with two sluts and a fag.

 

Thank you very much. I have more from where that came from.

[Guest JumpinJackFlash]

Damnit! Not that again! Sorry about the double post

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

A psycho is walking through the woods with some random woman, who complains about being afraid, the psycho says "How do you think I feel, I've got to walk out of here alone."

[Guest Just J]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

 

The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette with a

satisfied smile on its face.

 

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet and rolls over and

says,"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

I saw that one coming...(cue rim shot)

[Hoff 0]

So funny I forgot to laugh.