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alfdogg

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I would leave criticism, but whenever I do people get pissed off at me.

Leave it. I demand it of you, or else I'm going to your house when your away at States and stealing your Buffy collection.

 

Don't try me. :ph34r:

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ZACK VS. CWM~

 

~The opening is kind of...abrupt. But I'm guessing that's what you were going for.

 

~This may be just the way *I* write, but more commentary would definitely supplement your matches. Just describing psychology works better than "He nailed him!" Especially when you have a BIG paragraph, and three smaller ones after, all without commentary. It doesn't necessarily HURT it, just it could make the match better.

 

~All the action on the floor seems...I don't know...weird. The opening bit is good, but then when you get to stuff like suplexes on the floor, and the entire first 5-ish minutes outside, it's a stretch.

 

~Now, I know everyone else writes their pinfalls as

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

KICKOUT!

and that *does* get a bit monotonous, but at least it builds drama. It isn't really suspenseful if you see "Zack covers CWM..." and then see "but CWM kicks out just before three" right after it.

 

~I LOVE the suplex into the turnbuckle, but it probably could've used a little more description. Like, did he hit the turnbuckle and drop down on the top of his head? That's how I pictured it, I can't really see the turnbuckle stopping all his momentum so he just slides down to the mat.

 

~Maybe put a little more emphasis on the leg drop through the table...I mean, it's a big spot, and you just kind of casually write it. EVEN THOUGH SHOUTING IS OVERUSED A LOT.

 

~NO REF BUMP! NO NO NO NO NO!!! ...sorry, I just can't stand them.

 

~MC

Well at least you're concerned with food rather than women this time around.

 

COACH

Hey man, I like my meals, and I like my candy.

 

MC

Uh, was that some type of pun? Because it didn't really work.

 

Ahahaha...see, when you use commentary, it's great. So USE MORE!

 

~I really like the car window spot, it brings out CWM's character.

 

~Kind of a sudden finish, but it works.

 

Overall, a REALLY solid match. You are the man, Zack.

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Thank you. The Buffy collection is safe.

 

Honestly, some people will see that match as a far cry from what I try to do for "mat classics", since I was trying to get over the long standing hatred between Zack and CWM. Very similar to how I pulled out all the stops in the casket match against Popick earlier this year, just done in actual Street Fight style.

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Superstar, you know you want to be hard on me for my match, so go ahead, make my day.

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