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Ace309

Fight Before Christmas Losing Matches Thread!

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I didn't feel this was up to my standard, for various reasons - took a while to get started, and the end was kind of rushed, among others - but I still felt it was a manly match and something that I thought would win. Ejiro wrote an absolute hell of a match, and deserves all the accolades in the world.

 

Anyways, just for posterity, here we are.

 

===

 

I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas

I won't be home, I won't be home for Christmas…

 

The last few measures of Blink-182’s “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas” echo through the Nationwide Arena in Columbus as the SWF’s ’Twas The Fight Before Christmas returns! The arena is buzzing as Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley, wearing a dark suit with a holiday sweater underneath, sit far back from the ring near the entrance.

 

“Fans,” says Comet, “welcome back to SWF ’Twas the Fight Before Christmas! We’ve had an unbelievable show thus far, between the Bledisoe Cup Streetfight, the Texas Death Match, and the Away In A Manger Challenge…”

 

“I can’t believe otherwise dignified athletes had to compete in that sort of dreck,” says Riley.

 

“And how about that return in William Hearford’s match?”

 

“Don’t give it away!” hisses Riley. “Someone’s going to buy the replay!”

 

“Fine, fine,” says Comet. “But rest assured, you DON’T want to miss this one!”

 

“And coming up is another one you don’t want to miss,” shills Riley shamelessly. “This has been building for months! Tom Flesher and Ejiro Fasaki were stablemates in the Magnificent Seven for almost all of the 2002-2003 award year, and that stable dominated everything. Justice and Rule are the World Tag Team Champions, Flesher won the ICTV Title and his first World Title, William Hearford dominated the Hardcore Gamers scene and Fasaki owned the US Title. I’m telling you, Comet, the Magnificent Seven was even bigger than Wilson’s Meat Factory.”

 

“And what a Meat Factory it was,” nods Comet. “But as it stands, Justice and Rule are continuing to dominate the tag team division, and the Superior Citizen is in the middle of his second stint as king of the mountain.”

 

“Not for long,” Riley says. “Ejiro Fasaki has been beating him like a redheaded stepchild since Justice and Rule beat Flesher and Frost to start their first reign with the Tag Team Titles. Since then, Fasaki has registered three clean victories over Flesher, whereas Flesher got one win over him. One!”

 

“And that,” says Comet, “may be the reason that these two are meeting in a two-out-of-three-falls match tonight. Ejiro Fasaki is convinced that he’s better than Flesher and can prove it, while Tom Flesher knows that he can beat Fasaki from pillar to post all night if he wants to. And with that in mind, fans, let’s go to the ring.”

 

Funyon, in his red velvet tuxedo, stands in center ring. “Ladies and gentlemen,” he booms, “the following contest is scheduled for two out of three falls…. It is your main event, and it is for the Smarks Wrestling Federation WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!” He pauses to allow the crowd to applaud, and then continues. “The first competitor to secure two falls over his opponent will leave the arena the SWF World Champion! And now, the challenger…”

 

JUSTICE! RULE!

 

The crowd bursts into a chorus of boos as the opening of “Sleep Now In The Fire” by Rage Against the Machine blares throughout the Nationwide Arena. The drumbeat sets in, and the SmarkTron lights up with 3-second clips of Hearford and Fasaki nailing tag moves, hitting finishers, bending the rules, flat-out breaking them, taunting the crowd, and just generally being assholes. The guitars get heavy and....

 

POPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOPPOP

 

Red machine-gun pyro blasts shoot off on either side of the stage as Ejiro steps through the curtain! Not wearing his Tag Team Title or even his Justice & Rule jersey, Fasaki’s eyes are once again focused on the ring.

 

“You see,” says Riley, “Ejiro came out focused at Lockdown. No jersey, no Tag Team Title, none of his usual shenanigans. He came out with his mind on Flesher and took him out clean.”

 

“True,” says Comet, “but remember that Flesher and Francis also got the win over the Tag Team Champions on Storm. Could Citizen Fasaki have a bigger moral barrier?”

 

As Zach De La Rocha's soliloquy begins, Ejiro slides into the ring. The song fades and Funyon speaks up.

 

“Currently in the ring, hailing from Sarasota, Florida, and weighing in at 210 pounds… one half of the SWF Tag Team Champions, he is RULE, and tonight he’s going to take the World Title home with him… he is EJIRO… FASAKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Fasaki raises one fist, clearly preoccupied with Tom Flesher. As the booing subsides, Fasaki shakes his arms out and bounces from one leg to another, loosening himself up for the match. He is focused; he has fire in his eyes.

 

“AND HIS OPPONENT….”

 

The SmarkTron glows bright white as the opening guitars of the Philosopher Kings’ “I Am The Man” resonate through the arena. As they sound, the words “WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION” fade onto the SmarkTron. Then….

 

 

BOOM!

 

 

An explosion of blue pyro lights up the Nationwide Arena as the song rocks out over the sound system. The SmarkTron lights up in half-second clips…

 

SUPERIOR ONE

 

Flesher hits the Ego Buster on El Luchadore Magnifico

 

AWARD-WINNING

 

Flesher hooks Frost into a small package and picks up the win

 

MAIN ATTRACTION

 

Flesher spikes Taylor Thompson onto his neck to win his first SWF World Heavyweight Title

 

THE MAN

 

Flesher holds William Hearford in the Held Without Bail stretch plum, securing his win at Genesis IV

 

Tom Flesher walks through the curtain, prompting a wave of cheers from the crowd. He smirks as he looks toward the ring, with the SWF World Heavyweight Championship belt slung over his shoulder. He folds his arms across his chest, posing for a few seconds for photographs, and then continues toward the ring.

 

“And the Superior Citizen is once again on his way to the ring,” says Cyclone Comet. “He hasn’t had much success against Ejiro Fasaki…”

 

“Much? Flesher hasn’t had ANY success. Mak Francis carried him to that so-called victory over Justice and Rule. Flesher just rolled onto Ejiro for the pin!”

 

“… but tonight, Flesher is in a state of focus. He has the opportunity to take Ejiro out and prove his superiority once and for all!”

 

“Focused? What the hell are you watching? Flesher’s playing to the crowd like an idiot. Fasaki’s the one who’s focused! Look at him, Comet!”

 

Flesher climbs up the stairs and wipes his feet off on the apron. He steps into the ring, patting the belt over his shoulder as he makes his way to the center. The music fades, and Funyon makes his announcement.

 

“Currently in the ring, hailing from Buffalo, New York, and weighing in at 213 pounds… the SWF World Heavyweight Champion, he is the SUPERIOR ONE, TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Flesher golf-claps for himself, and the crowd returns the gesture, cheering and applauding as he salutes them. Finally, he folds the belt and kisses the plate before referee Eddy Long takes it. Flesher drops back into the corner, stripping off his warm-up suit. As Long shows the belt to Fasaki, who nods, Flesher stretches out in the corner. Finally, the official holds the bell in the air, showing it to the fans on every side of the ring, and hands it to the outside. Flesher steps out of the corner, Fasaki steps toward the center, and Long calls for the bell.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!!

 

 

Flesher and Fasaki meet in the center of the ring, staring each other down. Flesher’s eyes meet Ejiro’s as the two men of the same height stand toe-to-toe, their very different builds showing clearly. Flesher’s barrel chest, broad shoulders and tree-trunk legs stand out as he faces off against the lankier marathon man. The tension builds as they stare each other down.

 

“Look at the intensity,” says Comet. “These two athletes are in the center of the ring, knowing that tonight one of them will leave with the World Heavyweight Championship and the other will be seen as a miserable failure. This match will be decisive – two defeats in one night for one man will doubtless take him out of the World Title hunt for at least a while, and as we know the World Champion has two defenses lined up already. The loser here won’t get another shot for a long time, Bobby.”

 

“Yeah,” Riley snickers. “Flesher better get used to a naked waist.”

 

Ejiro finally breaks the silence by nailing Flesher in the chest with a knife-edge chop!

 

 

*SMACK-WHOO!*

 

 

Flesher reels from the blow as the crowd reacts, applauding the ballsy first step by the challenger. Fasaki follows up the chop with another

 

 

*SMACK-WHOO!*

 

 

which sends Flesher back another few steps. This time, Fasaki grabs Flesher as he loses his balance and locks around his wrist, then sends him careening into the opposite corner! Flesher hits the buckles hard and steps out, walking right into another

 

 

*SMACK-WHOO!*

 

 

brutal chop to his chest! He winces in pain as Fasaki pauses and turns to the crowd, throwing one fist into the air and shouting “RULE!” The fans boo him loudly, and Flesher quickly shakes off the blow. He steps out, grabbing Fasaki by the shoulder and spinning him around, then slamming a palm blow straight into his jaw! Fasaki’s head snaps to the side, and the crowd bursts into cheers as Flesher gets his licks in, throwing a European uppercut that staggers the challenger once again. Flesher steps in, grabbing Fasaki around the ribs and initiating a Railgun suplex! Ejiro, though, quickly grapevines a leg to make sure he doesn’t get thrown. Flesher releases him and quickly steps back, keeping Ejiro from hitting a leg trip to take him down. Fasaki, though, quickly nails another hard knife-edge chop

 

 

*SMACK-WHOO!*

 

 

that catches Flesher completely off-guard! The crowd boos as Flesher staggers backward, not quite sure how to react to something he didn’t see coming.

 

“Here we have Fasaki coming in confident and taking the early advantage,” says Bobby Riley. “He’s beating the piss out of Flesher, and we’re not even a few minutes in. How does the World Champion plan on taking this kind of beating for a whole match? He’s not even going to make it out of the first fall!”

 

“But Bobby, Citizen Flesher has taken beatings before and come back to win. He can absorb immense amounts of punishment and still survive!” Comet sounds absolutely convinced. “Flesher has nothing to worry about.”

 

Flesher, though, doesn’t look like he has nothing to worry about. Fasaki chops his chest again

 

 

*SMACK-WHOO!*

 

 

to keep him stunned, then drives a knee straight into Flesher’s stomach! The champion doubles over and then, as Fasaki backs away with a look of sadistic glee in his eyes, drops to one knee! The crowd collectively gasps as Flesher hangs his head, ashamed.

 

“That’s it,” says Riley with a grin. “Flesher’s showing weakness, and we know he never does that if he can help it… he’s got too much pride and stupidity. Fasaki’s laying such a beating on him that he can’t help but look like a pussy. Just disgusting.”

 

“Flesher, or the female genitals?”

 

“Come on, Comet, be professional, would you? And by the way, doesn’t Fasaki look excellent? He’s obviously been toning.”

 

“Well, clearly,” says Comet sarcastically, “he wanted to look good for his photos with the title belt.”

 

“Oh, he’s not that vain. He just wanted to improve his stamina to outlast Flesher one more way.”

 

Fasaki steps toward Flesher… but gets caught by surprise when the World Champion sends a hard shotei up and into his jaw! The crowd bursts into cheers as Fasaki steps back, and from his crouching position, Flesher hits an explosive double-leg takedown! He comes down on top of Ejiro, holding him by one leg. Tom rolls to the side, hooking the leg for a cover!

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

NO! Ejiro kicks out and rolls to his stomach. Flesher stays on him, covering his hips to keep him from escaping. Making sure he can keep Fasaki on the mat, Flesher quickly leans down and slams his forearm into the back of Ejiro’s neck, pinning his head down to match the hip pressure.

 

“That was sickening!” shouts Riley. “Flesher was playing possum! Patent and utter dishonesty in order to gain an unfair advantage! Is that any way to act when you want to be a role model?!”

 

“You’re really grasping at straws, Robert. Flesher is simply exercising tactical strategy, which is absolutely something we want to teach our children. But rarely is the question asked…”

 

“I know, I know. ‘Is our children learning?’” Riley sighs.

 

“Actually, I was just going to say ‘Is the move legal?’ No one really worries about it, Robert, and they SHOULD! And,” Comet continues, “keep in mind that even though they’re wrestling and not striking, there is NO love lost between these two combatants. This isn’t nice-guy technical wrestling… this is Flesher trying to grind Fasaki into submission, and Fasaki trying to fight his way out of it.”

 

Ejiro struggles to escape, but Flesher maintains his solid position on top of the challenger. He grinds his forearm into the back of Ejiro’s neck as he snakes his legs around his body, locking on a loose scissors grip. Fasaki tries to escape, but Flesher quickly leans back, pulling Fasaki into a camel clutch! The crowd applauds as Flesher locks his hands under the challenger’s chin, pulling his head back to strain his neck! Fasaki, still fresh, starts pulling himself forward using a swimming motion to drag himself a few feet closer to the ropes. He reaches out, grabbing at the bottom rope as Flesher leans back, trying to force Fasaki to tap out in the beginning of the match and gain an early advantage. Ejiro, though, pulls himself and Flesher a few more inches forward and manages to grasp the bottom rope! Flesher breaks the hold, cautiously stepping back. He stays close, ready to attack Ejiro the second he releases the ropes. Eddy Long drops to one knee to tell Ejiro to get to his feet. As he does, Ejiro executes a quick lift of the heel, catching Flesher in the testicles! The champion doubles over, and Ejiro quickly gets to his feet. He grabs the incapacitated Flesher by the left arm and executes a picture-perfect Fujiwara armbar takedown! He sits to the side, cranking the arm.

 

“Now that… THAT was unethical!” says Comet. “Completely unethical treatment of the testicles, and Fasaki should be ashamed of himself!”

 

“I didn’t see it,” deadpans Riley. “Monitor went out. But if you’re not just mudslinging and Ejiro did in fact catch Flesher by accident, it can only turn out well. After all, the world doesn’t need another Tom Flesher, and anything that prevents him from procreating is A-OK with me.”

 

“Just a few months ago you wanted to have his baby, Robert.”

 

“Oh, stop it.”

 

“Literally.”

 

Fasaki continues pressuring Flesher’s left shoulder as the World Champion starts to recover from the kick to the jumblies. His breathing starts to become regular again, although the rhythm is affected by Fasaki’s attempt to wrench his shoulder joint apart. He struggles to escape, forcing his arm against Fasaki’s to keep his shoulder from being torn up. Fasaki continues laying back, enjoying a breather as Flesher fights through the pain of a textbook Fujiwara armbar. He puts his head on the mat, bridging into a tripod to lessen the pressure on his arm. Then, before Ejiro knows to counter, Flesher rolls forward, turning the armbar from pressuring the shoulder in all the wrong ways into a simple wristlock! Fasaki keeps the arm and immediately spins, jumping to his feet to control as much of the damage as he can. Flesher quickly shoots in, attempting another double-leg takedown. However, without the explosiveness of the earlier double, Flesher easily gets caught. Fasaki sprawls back, blocking Flesher from his waist with his forearms. Then, taking advantage of Flesher’s awkward kneeling position, Fasaki quickly slaps on a front headlock! Immediately, the crowd begins to boo as Fasaki apes the focused facial expression Flesher wears when he uses the move. Flesher, for his part, continues his attempt to escape.

 

“Flesher’s trying to get out of the front headlock,” says Riley, “but if there’s one thing he should know, it’s that if you’re against a guy who knows what he’s doing, the only way to escape a front headlock is to take a ride and land on your back.”

 

Fasaki sprawls back, trying to tighten the headlock and extend Flesher’s body to make it more difficult to escape. Flesher counters the attempt by forcing his hips back, keeping his center of gravity far enough back that Fasaki’s can’t pull him forward, even with the momentum of the sprawl. Fasaki, left off-balance, is unable to defend Flesher’s quick pick of the elbow, and when Flesher drags the arm across his chest and free his head, Ejiro is left defenseless. Flesher pins the arm by locking Fasaki in a bear hug and arching back for a trapped-arm Railgun suplex! The crowd applauds as Flesher keeps the grip and rolls over, grabbing the arm once again.

 

“Tom Flesher, always innovative, finds a new way to follow up a front headlock counter,” says Comet. “Clearly, using Flesher’s own bread-and-butter moves against him isn’t going to get Fasaki the fall.”

 

“Maybe not, but you know what is, Comet? Plain, old-fashioned hard work! None of this fancy trapped-arm Railgun crap, none of those pretty little suplexes, jut being able to take it and then dish it right back! Ejiro Fasaki’s going to take a suplex like that and eat it, and fight right back! Flesher? He’ll go down to the first Cobra Clutch Ejiro hits.”

 

Flesher covers Ejiro, laying face-to-face on top of him. Fasaki consciously keeps one shoulder off the mat at all times, making sure he won’t get caught in a cheap pin. Flesher, meanwhile, powers the other arm out.

 

“Fasaki is so concerned with not being pinned,” says Comet, “that he can’t dedicate his ability to fighting off Flesher’s wristlock. Truly, a wrestler’s gambit – get pinned or give up a potentially dangerous submission hold.”

 

“Pfft,” Riley says. The spittle factor is huge. “Fasaki’s a good enough wrestler that he’ll be able to fight his way out of a wristlock, unlike Flesher, who wouldn’t know it from that diamond-studded Rolex we gave away earlier tonight.”

 

Flesher, however, does know a wristlock from a wristwatch, and shows it by yanking Fasaki’s arm and twisting it on the mat above his head. He sprawls out, grapevining Fasaki’s legs to keep the challenger flat on the mat, and forces the wrist into a keylock! The Challenger winces in pain, but Flesher simply continues fighting for the submission!

 

“The Superior Citizen cinches in a picture-perfect keylock,” says Cyclone Comet. “This is an absolutely deadly maneuver, and if Fasaki wants to continue the match, he’d do well to tap out now. He needs to give up the fall early on to come back later and fight when it counts.”

 

“What do you mean, when it counts? Every fall counts! Giving one up early on might work, or it might get you screwed in the second fall.” Riley sounds exasperated with Comet’s mat theory. “I mean, for Fasaki, it wouldn’t matter so much, because he’s going to take Flesher out anyway, but who willingly puts himself in position to have to win two straight falls? Not someone as smart as Ejiro, that’s for sure.”

 

“And it’s smarter to let your wrist get broken? There’s no way to counter a keylock, Robert.”

 

Fasaki, though, doesn’t seem to know that. He struggles and fights, giving Flesher every opportunity to tighten the keylock. Fasaki feigns fear, letting Flesher sink the lock in deeper. Ejiro hovers one hand over the mat, looking like he’s about to tap any second. Flesher turns his head to watch for the tap, and suddenly…

 

 

CRACK!!!!

 

 

Fasaki nails Flesher in the temple with a headbutt! Flesher releases the keylock, grabbing at his head in shock and pain. He comes up to his knees, trying to shake the impact of the blow off. Fasaki, keeping his wits about him, grabs Flesher’s left arm and quickly rolls out, locking on another Fujiwara armbar! The crowd boos as Ejiro takes advantage of Flesher’s injury to tighten up the hold, and continues showing its disapproval as Fasaki sits back and grins.

 

“And Fasaki once again takes advantage of his all-around wrestling skills to come out on top,” shills Riley. “Flesher’s got a bad case of tunnel vision. He’s only concerned with his Greco-Roman influences and how to apply them to a pro wrestling scenario. Fasaki knows how to strike, how to fight, how to take advantage of any rule that he possibly can, and that’s going to serve him better than Flesher’s ‘good hips’ or ‘par terre skill.’”

 

Fasaki tightens the armbar, once again fighting to make Flesher tap out early on. He continues assaulting Flesher’s shoulder, trying to pull the arm out of the socket and take it home with him. Flesher, though, once again loosens the pressure of the armbar by assuming a tripod stance. Fasaki spins out to the side, pulling the arm in a different direction to keep the pressure on as long as he can. He pulls the arm at a 45-degree angle, making sure to loosen the muscle around Flesher’s shoulder socket as much as possible. The World Champion, having no other choice, continues the counter by rolling forward and releasing part of the pressure. He scoots toward the ropes, hooking one Doc Marten over the bottom cable. Fasaki ignores the rope break and grabs Flesher’s head in a side headlock. He pulls Flesher’s head off the mat, obscuring Eddy Long’s view of the hooked bottom rope and looking for a fall. Long, however, says no dice, and orders Fasaki to break. Ejiro holds on to the headlock, raising his eyebrows.

 

“What egotism,” says Comet. “The brash Citizen Fasaki is insisting on being given the standard five-count before he breaks the illegal hold.”

 

“Hey, it’s in the rules, he’s allowed to do it,” Riley says with a shrug. “Did anyone bitch when you’d kick out at two and say the fall didn’t count? It’s not a DQ till five!”

 

Long administers the five-count as Ejiro looks on intently, choking Flesher with the tight headlock.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

Finally, Fasaki breaks the hold just before Long makes the five-count. He backs away as Flesher takes a quick break to breathe, making sure to leave one foot over the ropes. He regains his senses and rolls to his stomach, then gets to his knees. Fasaki moves in, and Flesher dives in with a low single-leg takedown. Ejiro spills to the mat as Flesher stands up, holding the ankle, and moves in for a half-crab. Fasaki, however, quickly kicks him in the chest, avoiding the trademark hold and rolling backwards to get back to his feet. Flesher moves in, looking for a collar-elbow tie in order to work a more orthodox attack. Fasaki, however, quickly grabs him by the left arm and drives a knee into his stomach! Flesher doubles over, and Fasaki twists the arm to the side. He turns ninety degrees and jumps into the air, coming down hard on the shoulder with a Fasaki Fuser! The crowd boos, but Ejiro is unfazed. He steps over, and as Flesher sits up, he locks on a stepover armbar!

 

“Ugh,” says Comet. “Flesher always has trouble with this hold. He never seems to make it out soon enough.”

 

“That’s because he doesn’t know basic body mechanics, Comet. He knows how suplexes and leglocks work, but he can’t for the life of him figure out other holds, and that’s just sad.”

 

“I think he’s proved that an ample number of times, Robert, and to say that is simply ridiculous.”

 

“Ridiculous, maybe, but true!”

 

Flesher yanks his arm back, trying to fight his way out of the maneuver. Fasaki squats lower, tightening the angle at which the arm is being yanked out of joint. Flesher turns on the mat, trying to change his position relative to Fasaki and lessen the pressure. Fasaki continues fighting, but Flesher quickly spins into better position and reaches through with his free arm. Before Fasaki even knows what hit him, Flesher grabs his left arm with both hands and yanks it backwards, pulling him into a pumphandle! From there, Flesher hooks his head and rolls him forward, hooking Fasaki’s leg with his own pumphandled arm and making a modified cradle! Eddy Long counts

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

But once again, Fasaki kicks out after only one slap of the mat. He rolls through, making it to his feet and shaking off the move. Flesher tries to follow him up, but has to pause to shake out his shoulder. Fasaki takes advantage and nails him with a stiff kick in the teeth, sending Flesher straight to his back! Fasaki follows the champion down, dropping an elbow for good measure, and covers him for

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

But no more! Flesher kicks out and rolls to his stomach, and Fasaki stays on him to keep his control. Ejiro pulls Flesher’s arm out to the side again, apparently looking for another Fujiwara armbar. This time, however, he simply drives a knee into the arm! Flesher cries out in pain, but Fasaki drives his knee into the joint once again! The fans boo as Fasaki jumps into the air and falls down, dropping the knee with all his weight behind it onto Flesher’s tender shoulder! From there, he simply grinds the knee into the shoulder, hoping to cause Flesher as much discomfort as possible. He stays there for a few seconds, contemplating his next move.

 

“Fasaki’s in control right now… there’s no doubt about it,” says Riley with an air of smugness. “He’s taken charge in the match, and he’s just assaulting Flesher. And Comet, do you know what the best part is? It’s all him. No cheating, nothing questionable, no help from Judge. Just Ejiro proving once more how much better he is than the Inferior One.”

 

“I’d say that kick to the crotch was at least a little bit questionable,” admonishes Comet.

 

“Eh, that’s because you’re picky. When’s the last time you saw anyone disqualified for that? It’s like a closed fist. Everyone does it.”

 

“Flesher doesn’t use closed fists.”

 

“Sure he does, when you’re not looking,” Riley says. “But I’m sure you won’t believe me, because you’re convinced that Tom Flesher is the end-all be-all of everything a wrestler should be. Well, Comet, I’ve got something to tell you. Tom Flesher is HUMAN! Human like you, human like me, and just as human as everyone else Ejiro Fasaki has beaten over and over again while he climbed up the ranks. He’s not perfect… he’s flesh and blood, and he’s about to show it.”

 

Fasaki pulls out to the side, lifting Flesher up by the tender arm. Flesher winces, and Ejiro quickly jerks the arm to send Flesher to the ropes with an Irish whip. The World Champion hits the ropes and quickly controls his gait. Fasaki, waiting to nail him with an elbow, gets caught as Flesher jumps into the air and throws a dropkick that takes his knee out from under him! Operating on instinct, Flesher hits the mat and quickly rolls back to his feet. As Ejiro tries to stand back up, Flesher once again leaps into the air and nails him in the side of the head with another low dropkick! Fasaki sprawls onto the mat, but Flesher doesn’t bother covering him. Instead, he grabs Fasaki by the arm and follows up with an Irish whip of his own, sending Fasaki into the corner! He follows him in, looking to nail him with a Yakuza kick! Fasaki, though, ducks down, avoiding the blow to the disappointment of the crowd. Flesher’s boot hits the turnbuckle, and Tom gets hung up.

 

“Look at that,” says Riley with a chuckle. “He’s trying so hard, he’s getting sloppy. Ejiro’s got it all over him, and he’s got him so off his game it’s almost not even funny. But then, I realize it’s Flesher, and it’s funny all over again.”

 

Flesher struggles to unhook his leg, but the quick-thinking Fasaki slides in behind him and hooks the trapped leg. Flesher immediately changes focus, hoping to keep Fasaki from hitting the move, but Fasaki quickly ducks down and hooks his head in spite. He shuffles backwards and arches, slamming Flesher to the mat with a reverse fisherman’s suplex! Flesher lands on the back of his head and rolls, stunned, to his stomach! Fasaki, for his part, stands up and grins wickedly at the crowd.

 

“He’s not going for the cover,” says Comet. “That’s a tactical error and could prove costly…”

 

“Now who’s grasping at straws?”

 

Fasaki grabs Flesher by the head and pulls him into a standing head scissors. Flesher tries to escape, but Ejiro tightens the grip. Without pausing to play to the crowd or even signal, he grabs Flesher’s left arm, then his right, and locks on a double underhook! The crowd gasps in collective as Ejiro pulls on Flesher’s arms, lifting him up off the ground! Flesher tries to sandbag, but Ejiro focuses on the sore left shoulder. Flesher can’t resist with the tweaked limb, and soon enough, Ejiro has Flesher hanging upside down. He stalls for a moment, knowing there’s nothing for the World Champion to do, nowhere for him to go but down.

 

 

And down he goes.

 

 

With a sickening THUD and a chorus of boos, Ejiro sits out, slamming Flesher head-first into the mat with the Ejirocation! The crowd continues booing as Fasaki shoves Flesher forward and locks up a sit-out pin. Eddy Long drops down and counts

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!!

 

 

“The winner of the first fall, via pin, EJIRO FASAKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

“And as always, fans, there’ll be a one-minute break between falls,” says Comet numbly.

 

“Yeah,” cackles Riley, “and Flesher’s going to need every second of it to shake off the Ejirocation.”

 

Flesher stays on the mat as the smirking Ejiro stands up, and Eddy Long ushers him into a corner. Flesher slowly sits up, holding his head. He stays still for a few minutes, but shakes his head from side to side as if to loosen up his neck. The crowd, meanwhile, occupies itself as it usually does in this sort of situation.

 

“F-U FASAKI! F-U FASAKI! F-U FASAKI!”

 

Flesher grabs the ropes, standing up slowly. His legs shake as he starts back up, but he quickly regains his balance. Eddy Long keeps an eye on Fasaki, making sure that the Tag Team Champ doesn’t interfere with Flesher’s stipulated recovery time.

 

“Comet, he’s done for. Look at him. He’s like a baby trying to learn how to walk.”

 

Flesher shakes his head again, slowly regaining his strength. Despite his ability to shake off head bumps, he does seem to feel the effects of the Ejirocation, and as the one-minute break comes to a close, he seems almost recovered, but still hampered by a few cobwebs. He shakes once more, and the bell rings.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

Right off the bat, Ejiro charges at Flesher, hoping to catch him off-guard and take advantage of his cloudy state. Flesher, though, sees his opponent coming. He ducks down, and as Ejiro comes toward him, Flesher backdrops him over the top rope and to the floor! The crowd cheers as Ejiro hits the concrete hard. Flesher looks out at him, and then slumps into a corner to rest for a few more seconds. Eddy Long begins counting.

 

ONE!

 

Ejiro lays still, and Flesher sits in the corner.

 

“Jesus Christ,” says Riley. “Did you see that? That was just sadism on Tom Flesher’s part! No regard for the safety of his opponent!”

 

TWO!

 

Flesher watches Ejiro, breathing heavily and not wanting to get caught.

 

“You don’t seem to have the same regard for Flesher’s safety,” says Comet. “When Citizen Fasaki wants to kick the Champion in the Championship Jumblies, you cheer him on.”

 

THREE!

 

Ejiro starts to stir on the outside, while Flesher continues regrouping, leaning on the ropes.

 

Riley shrugs. “I follow my heart.”

 

FOUR!

 

Fasaki grabs the guardrail.

 

FIVE!

 

He begins slowly pulling himself up to his feet.

 

SIX!

 

Ejiro leans on the guardrail, getting his wind back after having it knocked out of him by the body-shaking fall. He seems shaken, but continues fighting to regain his self-control.

 

SEVEN!

 

Flesher leans on the ropes, watching the outside as Ejiro walks around for a few seconds, making sure he’s good to go.

 

EIGHT!

 

Fasaki leans on the apron, stalling every second he possibly can.

 

NINE!

 

Finally, Fasaki slides back in. The more-well-rested Flesher immediately starts putting the boots to him. He stomps away at Fasaki’s back. As Ejiro slides in, Flesher begins kicking his ribs, hitting him over and over again in an attempt to fatigue the Cobra. Ejiro rolls away, and Flesher stays on him. He takes advantage of his adrenaline rush, following Ejiro into a corner and kicking him in the ribs over and over again as he tries to stand up. As Fasaki finally stands up straight, Flesher’s kicks move down the body and he begins assaulting Fasaki’s left thigh. He nails a quick kick to the quadriceps, followed by another, and one more. From there, Ejiro steps out, but Flesher shoves him back into the corner and slams him with a palm strike to the face. Ejiro’s head snaps back, and Flesher backs away a few inches. He once again kicks his opponent in the thigh, then repeats the attack twice.

 

“Flesher is taking charge,” Comet says. “He’s showing Ejiro Fasaki who’s the boss, and despite his attempts to Danza around it, Fasaki simply can’t work his way out of the corner.”

 

“Comet, that was terrible.”

 

“Don’t you take that Tony with me, young man.”

 

Flesher relents once more, this time to grab Ejiro by the arm and start an Irish whip. Fasaki, though, braces on the canvas and reverses the whip. He sends Flesher into the same corner, then follows him in with a running elbow smash! Flesher absorbs the shock of the blow, but by the time he starts his recovery, Ejiro throws a bionic elbow that leaves Flesher supporting himself on the ropes. Ejiro smirks and steps back, measuring Flesher up. He swings his arm back, ready to unleash another knife-edge chop across Flesher’s welt-covered chest. As he does, though, the Superior One raises an arm and blocks the blow! Ejiro, caught by surprise, isn’t much better off when Flesher steps forward and nails him with another shotei, this one putting him on his backside a few feet from the corner. Flesher steps forward, kicking Ejiro flatly in the face. Ejiro falls backward, and Flesher plants one Doc Marten firmly on his countenance. He walks across Fasaki’s face, prompting a cheer from the fans.

 

“What the hell is that?” says Riley. “If Fasaki did that to Flesher, the fans wouldn’t be cheering!”

 

“That may, of course, have something to do with the fact that Ejiro Fasaki is an abrasive, detestable, odiferous, herpes-ridden waste of spermatozoa, Robert.”

 

“Oh, come on, is that the best you can do?”

 

Flesher turns around to see Ejiro sitting up again. Flesher grabs him by the head and lifts him to his feet, then moves to shove him back into the corner. Fasaki fends him off, though, with a series of quick elbow and forearm blows. Flesher steps back, and Fasaki follows up with a knee to the gut… which the Superior One dodges! As Fasaki gyrates to try to recover his balance, Flesher lands a well-placed kick to the hamstring of Fasaki’s cocked left knee! The momentum drives him back, and he falls into the corner! Flesher follows him in, assaulting him with a pair of European uppercuts before nailing another set of three quick kicks to the thigh. Fasaki’s face twists for a moment as Flesher batters him.

 

“What’s he looking for?” says Riley. “Fasaki’s a damn pain sponge… he’s not going to get this kid to tap out just by kicking him a couple of times.”

 

“Perhaps not,” says Comet, “but he’ll almost certainly be able to cause failure of the associated large-muscle group, if Fasaki allows the assault to go on unmitigated.”

 

“Geez, give the Jir some credit, Comet. It’s not like he’s never taken some lumps before. He’ll shake it off and be a new man in a couple of minutes.”

 

Flesher steps back, falling into a defensive stance and waiting for Fasaki to make a move. He backs past center ring, and Fasaki moves out of the corner. He shakes his leg out before stepping toward the center, but immediately starts watching Flesher. Ejiro moves in to attack, and Flesher immediately attacks with a low single-leg takedown! He caves Ejiro’s knee in from the front, sending the Cobra spilling to the mat. Flesher pops back up, this time with the left leg of his opponent wrapped tightly under his arm. Fasaki immediately begins to struggle, as he knows what’s coming, but Flesher forces the hold anyway. He steps over, trying to coerce Fasaki into rolling onto his stomach and accepting the high-angle half-crab. Fasaki resists, but Flesher, in better position and somewhat fresher, steps over and forces Fasaki onto his face! The fans begin to cheer as Flesher steps back, gradually increasing the angle of the crab hold with each shuffle toward Fasaki’s head. The fans continue cheering as Flesher takes his final position, planting a boot on top of Fasaki’s head! He looks out to the crowd and grins devilishly. After a pregnant pause, he shouts out…

 

“F-U, FASAKI!”

 

Immediately, the fans join in.

 

“F-U, FASAKI! F-U, FASAKI! F-U, FASAKI!”

 

Flesher grins, his job done, as he stands on Fasaki’s head and tries to force him to submit to the ridiculously stretched half-crab hold.

 

“Look at the pressure being put on the left leg of Ejiro Fasaki by the Superior Citizen,” marvels Cyclone Comet. “You can almost see the quadriceps cramping up. Go ahead, look.”

 

“He’s not going to get Fasaki to tap, though,” says the stubborn Riley. “I don’t know how Fasaki’s going to get out, but there’s no way Flesher’s going to get the tap here. It’s just not possible, and he’s a tool for not catching on.”

 

Flesher, meanwhile, seems to be having a grand old time as he leans back, grinding his thick-soled combat boot on the head of his former Magnificent Seven stablemate. He breathes easy, not needing to fight very hard to keep the painful hold on. Fasaki fights, but it soon becomes clear that the two wrestlers are at a stalemate. Knowing that he won’t get the tap, Flesher slams Fasaki’s leg down to the mat and stomps on the exposed pit of the knee. Fasaki grits his teeth and bears the pain, even as Flesher drops his elbow into the soft knee pit. He stands up, grabbing the left leg and twisting it to the side. Because of that pressure, Fasaki quickly rolls onto his back, and Flesher quickly drops an elbow into the side of the knee. He wrenches the knee to the side, trying to force it out of joint. He stands up and repeats the elbowsmash, then follows it up with another. Finally, he throws the left leg to the mat. He picks up the right leg and bends down, applying a spinning toehold!

 

“And this could be it!” says Comet. “Flesher is attempting the figure-four leglock, and I can’t imagine that Fasaki can deal with the pain that this hold is going to send searing through his body!”

 

“Yeah, you wanna bet? Ejiro can take anything and come back fighting, even a figure-four. Of course, with Flesher applying it, it’ll probably just be a mild, pleasant tingling. Maybe loosen things up a little, don’t you think?”

 

Flesher spins through, but Ejiro grabs his head and pulls him down into a small package! He rolls through, holding Flesher tight in the inside cradle! Eddy Long counts

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!1

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!! Flesher rolls out, breaking the hold and making sure he doesn’t get caught! Ejiro sits up, and Flesher smacks him in the face with a dropkick! Flesher bounces back to his feet, but the stunned Fasaki stays on the mat. Flesher kicks him twice in the neck, then jumps into the air and comes down hard on Fasaki’s sternum with a double stomp! Looking down at Fasaki, Flesher knows that he has to make his move now, while the wind is knocked out of him. He steps to Fasaki’s feet and grabs the left leg. He bends it down and crosses the legs, then falls to the mat! The crowd cheers as Flesher applies the Cross Lightning!

 

“CROSS LIGHTNING!” shouts Comet. “Yes, this could be it! This could be the turning point of the match! Tom Flesher, after abusing Ejiro Fasaki’s thigh, has him locked in the Cross Lightning crooked figure-four leglock! Fasaki has nowhere to go but home, Robert! Nowhere to go but home!”

 

“I think Fasaki knows exactly where he’s going,” says Riley. “Right out of bounds.”

 

Sure enough, Fasaki, in between grimaces, is pulling himself toward the edge of the mat. Flesher lays flat, trying to put as much of his body on the mat as possible to make Fasaki have to drag even more weight. At the same time, he wrenches the Cross Lightning leglock, trying to injure his opponent as much as humanly possible before the inevitable rope break. He even tries dragging himself back a few feet, but the determined Fasaki pulls back toward the ropes quickly. He reaches out, grasping desperately for the bottom rope as Flesher cranks the hold, trying to keep it on for as long as he can. Finally, a few seconds later, Fasaki lunges and grabs the bottom rope. Eddy Long orders Flesher to break the hold. Flesher nods, and takes his time releasing the pressure of the lock. He slowly backs away, keeping a careful watch on Fasaki. As Fasaki pulls himself to his feet, Flesher measures him up and plans his surgical attack.

 

Fasaki stands up, and Flesher launches at him with a dropkick to the knee! Even though Ejiro sees it coming, he’s unable to avoid the move. Flesher lands the strike, once again jarring Fasaki’s knee. Ejiro, sensing that he has other options, drops to the mat and slides out of the ring. Flesher watches from above, but shakes his head when Fasaki looks up at him.

 

“There’s no way,” says Cyclone Comet, “that Tom Flesher is going to attempt his baseball slide and headscissors combination. Flesher is one fall behind at the moment, and he knows that what he needs to do is attempt low-risk, high-percentage moves. You’ll not he’s been making attacks that, with the glaring exception of the figure four that Ejiro countered, don’t put him in a great deal of danger. The baseball slide series isn’t low-risk, as Fasaki proved in their one-on-one match two weeks ago.”

 

“That’s right,” says Riley. “Fasaki countered one of Flesher’s favorite moves and turned it into an utter beating. Not only that, but he ended up BEATING Flesher. Just wait till the end of the night, and you’ll see the same thing. Maybe it won’t be the baseball slide, and maybe it won’t be the Ego Buster, but Ejiro’s going to take what Flesher has and turn it against him. He’s walking out of the Nationwide Arena tonight with the SWF World Heavyweight Championship!”

 

Fasaki isn’t walking out of anywhere at the moment, though. He simply paces along the apron, silently showing disappointment that Flesher didn’t take the bait and attempt the headscissors attack. Eddy Long continues counting, reaching “SEVEN!” as Fasaki shrugs it off, as if to say, “Yeah, yeah, give me a minute.” Long counts, “EIGHT! NINE!” and Ejiro slides back into the ring from the corner, making sure to stay away from Flesher and avoid the beating he received at the beginning of the fall. Flesher steps toward Ejiro, who seems unsure of quite what to do as he clearly favors his left leg. Flesher, in control, slams into him, grabbing him in an aggressive collar-elbow tie to shake him up. Keeping the pressure on, Flesher slams Fasaki back into the corner… only to eat an elbow to the mush for his trouble! Fasaki, knowing he can’t afford to get caught in the corner again, throws another elbow for good measure, staggering Flesher. He then shimmies up the cornerpost, perching on the second rope. As Flesher shakes the blows off, Fasaki leaps off the turnbuckle and nails him with a flying elbow strike!

 

“Fasaki hits the flying elbow!” says Riley. “Flesher can’t expect to get up from that! He ate two smashes and an elbow from the second rope!”

 

Sure enough, Fasaki hooks Flesher’s leg, and Eddy Long counts

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

“Flesher gets the shoulder up, and survives to finish the night,” says Comet. “This is a life-or-death situation for Tom, and if he doesn’t turn things on very quickly, he can count on being sent to the showers early. Sadly, others among us will be sent to the showers but ignore them.”

 

“What?” says Riley. “I never noticed anyone in the back smelling that bad.”

 

“Bobby, next year, at least WASH your once-a-year holiday sweater.”

 

Flesher sits up, but Ejiro quickly gets to his feet. Despite the discomfort he shows when he puts weight on his left leg, he is able to get Flesher up and whip him to the ropes. Fasaki, with his gaze fixed on Flesher, is focused. He cocks his elbow, and as Flesher sprints toward him, he spins around, looking for his absolutely deadly Screaming Elbow! Flesher, though, hits the mat and executes a baseball slide, ducking the elbow at the last possible second! He fluidly comes back up to his feet, snagging Fasaki’s knee as he does. Before Fasaki catches on, he hooks the head into a front chancery, and arches his back with the artistry of a dancer. Fasaki hits the mat, his head and leg cradled, and lands on his shoulders!

 

“FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX, OUT OF NOWHERE!” shouts Comet. “CAN HE HOLD IT?!”

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

Fasaki kicks his legs hard, trying to break the pin up with every last ounce of strength he has!

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

“FAST COUNT!” screams Riley. “HE DIDN’T GET THE THREE!”

 

“He sure did!” shouts Comet, “and all the fans in the arena saw it!”

 

Fasaki pumps once more, breaking the cradle suplex hold a heartbeat after Eddy Long makes the third count, but to no avail! Long holds up three fingers and points to Flesher!

 

“The winner of the second fall,” says Funyon, “TOM FLESHER!”

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Fasaki immediately springs to his feet and tackles Flesher, and Long calls for the bell.

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

Ejiro, angry about giving up the fall simply because he got caught by surprise, acts on his anger and adrenaline, pounding Flesher with a series of stiff fists and elbows! Flesher tries to cover up, but Fasaki is pounding him, trying to beat him to a pulp. Flesher wriggles away, but Ejiro simply starts hammering his face.

 

“Look at that drive,” says Bobby Riley lovingly. “He’s so upset about that fast count that now he’s literally beating Flesher’s face in. You’ve got to admire that guy.”

 

“There was no fast count! That was a perfectly fair pinfall, and Eddy Long made sure of it! Flesher just caught Fasaki by surprise, and Fasaki’s angry that he was fooled.”

 

Flesher finally slides away, grabbing the ropes and covering up, sliding back as Fasaki continues the assault until half his body is outside the ring! Eddy Long finally steps in, forcing a break! Fasaki, seething over the fall, backs away as Flesher shakes off the blow. He pulls himself to his feet with the ropes, and immediately the Cobra charges in and begins pummeling Flesher again, this time focusing on stiff elbow shots! Flesher winces, but grits his teeth and throws a palm strike that snaps Fasaki’s head back! Flesher, trying to finish the match while he’s on a roll, slams another shotei into Ejiro’s jaw, and then sends him to the ropes! Flesher stays in the center of the ring, and as Fasaki bounces off the ropes and sprints toward him, Flesher steps forward and takes him to the mat with a powerful palm thrust! Fasaki walks right into it without even seeing it coming! Flesher drops down onto Fasaki, covering him for

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KICKOUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fasaki kicks out, but looks extremely shaken. Flesher backs away as Fasaki starts to get up. He crouches down, and as soon as Ejiro gets to his feet, Flesher drives forward, tackling him with an explosive double-leg takedown! He rolls through, coming to his feet and crouching down as the disoriented Fasaki gets back to his feet. Once again, as soon as Fasaki turns toward Flesher, Tom unloads a devastating double leg on him! Fasaki falls backwards, and with the crowd cheering louder and louder, Flesher rolls back to his knees. He assumes his crouch once again, and one more time, he nails Fasaki with an absolutely devastating double-leg takedown that knocks the wind right out of Fasaki! Ejiro, completely destroyed, rolls out of the ring to try to get a breather. Flesher stands up, with the crowd on its feet for him!

 

“Flesher is pounding Ejiro to a pulp!” shouts Comet. “His potency is incredible, his destrucity unbelievable, his superpowers truly kicking in! This is why he’s the World Champion, fans! This is why he’s the leader of the sport today!”

 

Flesher sees Ejiro’s head peek up over the apron, and he runs to the ropes! The fans are screaming their heads off as Flesher drops to the mat, executing a picture-perfect baseball slide and locking on his headscissors! He starts to log roll… but Fasaki grabs the bottom rope and stays still! He pulls Flesher out of the ring and slams him to the mat with a power bomb to the concrete floor! The crowd goes silent, all their excitement sapped away by one sickening SMACK sound on the thin matting over the concrete. Fasaki looks up, his sadistic smile caught on the SmarkTron as Flesher lays motionless on the matting. The crowd bursts into a chant of

 

“F-U, FASAKI! F-U, FASAKI! F-U, FASAKI!”

 

Even so, Fasaki grabs Flesher and slides him into the ring. He follows Tom in and pulls him to the center of the ring. He lays on top of Flesher, exhausted, and hooks the leg. Eddy Long, as the crowd boos, makes the count.

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

SHOULDER UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

The crowd bursts into cheers as Flesher gets his shoulder up, avoiding the fall!

 

“That was a close one!” says Cyclone Comet, excited. “Ejiro almost got him!”

 

“He DID get him, but that lazy oaf Long gave him a slow count! There’s going to be a complaing on Mark Stevens’ desk tomorrow morning, I promise you!”

 

Fasaki glares at Eddy Long and holds up three fingers. Long waves it off, and Ejiro gets to his feet, shouting about the fast count that cost him the second fall! Meanwhile, Flesher slides in behind Fasaki and quickly locks a hand in his thigh, rolling him backwards for a schoolboy rollup!

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Fasaki rolls through, avoiding the pin, and stares at Long, showing how steamed he is. Flesher, meanwhile, gets up to his feet.

 

“Fasaki’s getting screwed by the ref here! That was an obvious fast count, and it’s just a miracle that Ejiro didn’t get caught!” says Bobby Riley, hot under the collar. “How much longer is this going to go on?!”

 

“Don’t get your interrobang in a bunch, Robert,” cautions the superhero. “Fasaki is being treated like any other wrestler in the SWF, and he simply seems to have drawn the short end of the stick tonight.”

 

He slides in behind Fasaki and shoves him into the ropes, then tightens his grip around Ejiro’s waist! He rolls backwards, pulling Ejiro back and rolling him up with a Rolling Prawn Hold! He comes up on top, sitting on Fasaki’s legs and cradling him for

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FASAKI KICKS FLESHER OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flesher hits the ropes, and quickly, Fasaki follows him in. Fasaki drives into him from behind, locking on a waistlock and attempting to pull Flesher back into a Rolling Prawn of his own! Flesher, though, grabs the top rope to keep from being rolled back! Ejiro executes a back somersault and comes to his feet behind Flesher. Instinctively, Ejiro begins a back spin, and as Flesher turns around

 

 

CRACK!!!!

 

 

Ejiro nails him in the jaw with a Screaming Elbow! Flesher, caught with all of the impact of the blow, tumbles backwards over the top rope and onto the apron. Ejiro, not satisfied, nails Flesher with a bionic elbow, which sends the World Champion to the concrete in a heap! Ejiro turns around to play to the crowd, and the fans just begin booing and resume their chant.

 

“F-U FASAKI! F-U FASAKI! F-U FASAKI!”

 

“You can’t fault Ejiro for that,” says Riley. “He’s working his balls off, and Eddy Long is colluding with Tom Flesher to try to take that away from him. Can you get more immoral than that? A referee trying to give the match to the guy he likes better?”

 

“Oh, Robert, wrong on so many levels… somehow you say this is worse than a tag team working together to choke an opponent out and beat him with chains, even when there’s obviously no abuse of the rules going on? I pity you, Citizen Riley. I do.”

 

“You can pity me tomorrow after I file my formal complaint with Grand Slam! This is making me sick!”

 

As Ejiro plays to the crowd, Flesher stands up on the outside. Lying in wait, he sneaks around behind his opponent, who backs toward the ropes as he baits the fans. As he gets close to the apron, Flesher reaches up and grabs him by the ankle and pulls him to the outside! The fans begin cheering as Flesher drags Ejiro onto the apron. He pauses to slam a stiff Doc Marten kick into Ejiro’s left thigh, then grabs him by the wrist and sends him into the steel ringpost! Flesher follows him in, and an instant after Fasaki hits the steel, Flesher slams the boot into his head with a deadly Yakuza kick against the steel! The fans cheer their hearts out for Flesher as Ejiro crumbles to the thin matting. Flesher grabs the limp Fasaki and rolls him into the ring, then rolls in behind him. He drags the challenger to center ring, then hooks the leg and makes the cover.

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Long waves the fall off at the last second, pointing to Fasaki weakly thrusting his shoulder off the mat! Flesher looks up, shakes his head out of disappointment, and covers Fasaki again.

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE- NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This time, with a few more seconds of recovery time, Fasaki gets the shoulder up long before the final count!

 

“And what do you think of that, Robert? Is there still a clear collusion between Flesher and Long after those counts?”

 

“Well, they’re not going to do it EVERY time, you ass!” Riley, it seems, is flustered.

 

Again, Flesher is disappointed. He changes plans, though, and drops down onto him, locking him up with a reverse waistlock! The fans know what’s coming, and so does Cyclone Comet!

 

“Heeeeeere comes the EGO BUSTER!” he says, sounding so excited that he almost bursts the buttons on his costume. “And this, as we know, is going to put Fasaki away for good!”

 

“How can the Ego Buster do that to him? Fasaki doesn’t have an ego to bust!”

 

Comet snickers.

 

“Come on, Ejiro Fasaki is one of the humblest, most polite…”

 

“Don’t worry, Robert. We’ll get you the help you need.”

 

Flesher starts pulling Fasaki off the mat, but Ejiro curls his body around his leg to keep from being lifted! Flesher fights for it, but Fasaki snakes his upper body up, head first, and arches his back against Flesher’s waistlock! He stands next to Flesher, facing the opposite direction. Flesher is left holding Fasaki by the waist as Ejiro spins behind, breaking the grip! He grabs Flesher around the ribs and quickly arches back, sending Tom to his shoulders with a lightning-fast German suplex! He holds the bridge, shaking from the physical fatigue he suffers but determined to hold Flesher for the fall! Eddy Long counts

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! - NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Flesher rolls through! The crowd bursts into cheers!

 

“JESUS CHRIST!” shouts Riley out of frustration. “Is he just going to keep kicking out of everything?!”

 

“I believe that would be the point, sir.”

 

Flesher rolls through, but Fasaki leaps to his feet and confronts the official. Red-faced, Fasaki screams at the official, shouting that he held Flesher for a full three-count. Long holds his ground, refusing to end the match. Flesher slips in, reaching under Fasaki’s thigh and prompting cheers by going for another schoolboy rollup! Fasaki, though, stops the crowd’s cheering by grabbing Flesher’s arm and twisting hard into a pumphandle armbar! The fans groan disappointedly as Flesher gets caught. Fasaki then follows through by spinning back and lifting the front foot to nail Flesher with a heel kick! Flesher collapses onto his back, and Fasaki covers him for

 

 

 

 

ONE!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FLESHER ESCAPES ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fans are on their feet as Flesher rolls away, grabbing the ropes and trying to pull himself to his feet. In frustration, Fasaki moves in behind him and pulls him to the center of the ring, slapping on a half-nelson and pulling Flesher’s arm across his neck to lock on the Cobra Clutch! The fans scream for Flesher, cheering him on as Fasaki tries to drain the life out of him! Flesher fights, trying to get to the ropes!

 

“Ejiro Fasaki has the Cobra Clutch locked on, and Tom Flesher’s dead meat! This is the third fall, this is the one that ends it all, and Tom Flesher is about to pass out in center ring!” cackles Riley.

 

“Flesher,” says Comet, concerned, “is fighting with everything he has to make it to the ropes, but Zeus above only knows if he’ll make it.”

 

Tom Flesher, cheered on by the fans, forces himself forward and lunges to the ropes, leaning over the top rope and hooking an arm over in, then grapevining a leg around the middle rope to keep from being pulled back in. Eddy Long orders the break, but Ejiro holds on to the sleeper variant.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

THREE!

 

FOUR!

 

Finally, Fasaki breaks the Cobra Clutch! Flesher, in his woozy state, releases the ropes and moves back to center ring, where Fasaki promptly grabs him again and slaps on another standing half-nelson! The fans scream and shout, trying to spur Flesher on to keep Fasaki from locking on the hold. He fights, even as Fasaki once again pulls his arm around his neck to complete the hold. Tom continues his struggle, trying not to let Fasaki tighten it. Fasaki succeeds, though, and pulls Flesher back a few feet toward the center!

 

“Flesher HAS to make it back to the ropes,” says Comet, desperation soaking through his voice. “He MUST escape, or the World Heavyweight Title will be lost!”

 

“Then let’s play a game of Finders Keepers, because Ejiro Fasaki’s about to find it! There’s no way Flesher can stand up to this!”

 

Flesher struggles, fighting to stay conscious as Fasaki torques the Cobra Clutch, trying to squeeze the breath out of his body! Flesher, struggling for his very survival, lunges forward, frantically reaching for the ropes!

 

“Doesn’t he realize he’s only hurting himself?” says Riley. “He’s using up all the oxygen he has, and you better believe Ejiro’s not going to let him get any more. He should tap now, do the honorable thing, and give Ejiro the dignity of presenting him the SWF World Heavyweight Championship. Be a MAN, Tom!”

 

Flesher, looking fainter by the moment, leans forward, reaching for the ropes. Still a few feet away, he continues trying to reach them, despite the ropes being sadly out of reach. He staggers forward, dropping to one knee in a vain attempt to reach the cables. Fasaki drops down next to him, smiling as the whole world watches him flatten Tom Flesher, SWF World Champion, on the mat, just inches out of reach of the ropes. Fasaki reaches over, trying to apply a scissors grip on Flesher’s free arm. Flesher, though, arches his back to throw his hips into the air and slides into a tripod, keeping Fasaki from finishing him off with the Cobra Crossface! Fasaki tries to grind him down, but as the fans cheer him on, rise to their feet and scream his name, Flesher slides back, pushing one leg in between Fasaki’s.

 

“Flesher, making sure he stays in good position...” says Cyclone Comet, almost breathless with excitement.

 

Tom slides back, shrugging his head free from the Cobra Crossface, and executes a shoulder roll. He grapevines both his legs around the one he has of Fasaki’s, trapping it and coming up on top! Flesher crosses Fasaki’s legs, locking on the Superior Stretch! He takes a few steps and then sits back, locking on his Texas cloverleaf in the center of the ring!

 

“Superior Stretch!” screams Comet. “Flesher locks on the Superior Stretch right in the middle of the ring! Fasaki has no hope! This is it for Rule! Just tap out now, Ejiro! Just tap out now!”

 

Fasaki fights, struggling to reach the ropes. He grits his teeth, absorbing as much of the pain as he can. He tries to swim across the mat to reach the ropes, but Flesher sits back further, and Ejiro simply doesn’t have the strength to do it. Even so, Rule refuses to give up!

 

“Come on, Ejiro!” shouts Riley. “All you’ve got to do is break it! You can do it!”

 

Fasaki fights, trying to drag himself to the ropes once more, until he realizes he won’t be able to. Instead, he begins wildly flailing his legs, trying to kick Flesher off to break the Superior Stretch! Flesher sits back, holding Fasaki’s legs tightly, using all the upper body strength he has to keep his opponent in check. The struggle goes on for a bit longer, the kicks coming less frequently and becoming gradually less powerful until finally, Ejiro turns his head to the side. His eyes close, and he stops moving.

 

The crowd goes silent for a moment as Eddy Long drops to one knee. He raises Fasaki’s arm once.

 

It drops.

 

Twice.

 

It drops.

 

Three times… a formality, at best.

 

It drops.

 

Long calls for the bell.

 

 

DING DING DING!!!!

 

 

The fans burst into cheers. Tom Flesher has defeated Ejiro Fasaki.

 

“Your winner,” says Funyon, “and STILL SWF World Heavyweight Champion, ‘the Superior One’ TOM FLESHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

 

Flesher stands up. Long raises his arm and hands him the SWF’s top title belt. Flesher kisses the front plate of the belt, then drops to his knees from exhaustion. He wraps the belt around his waist and rests on the mat.

 

“This is number six for Tom Flesher,” shills Comet. “Tom Flesher has broken the record he shared with Edwin MacPhisto for the number of successful defenses of the SWF World Title!”

 

“Who cares? Someone help Ejiro out here!”

 

Ejiro, starting to breathe, rolls to the outside. He seems hazy, still not sure where he is, and not realizing just what happened.

 

As Flesher starts back to his feet in the ring, small, white flakes begin falling from the roof of the Nationwide Arena. A small smile spreads across Flesher’s face as Dean Martin’s “Marshmallow World” begins to play over the sound system, and the artificial snowfall begins to thicken.

 

“And we’ve got a blizzard in the Nationwide Arena! Being from Buffalo, Flesher doesn’t mind,” says Comet. “And if I know that theme…”

 

Sure enough, as the crooner’s voice begins to ring through the arena, a fat man in a red velvet suit begins to stride to the ring, carrying a big bag over his shoulder.

 

“Why, that’s SJL superstar and jolly old elf Kris Kringle, better known as Santa Claus,” says Comet. Riley, according to the dignity clause of his contract, says nothing.

 

Santa walks down the ramp and enters the ring as Flesher holds the ropes, grinning stupidly. The two exchange words, and Santa Claus roots through his pockets. He pulls out a small blue check, holds it up for the arena to see, and then hands it off to Flesher. The World Champion stays in the ring, raising the fat man’s arm as the fans applaud.

 

“And the kids are loving this,” says Comet, “though I’m sure it’s mostly for the kitsch factor.”

 

“Of course,” agrees Riley quickly.

 

“In any event, SJL superstar Santa Claus rewards Tom Flesher with his evening’s wages after a hard-fought battle with Ejiro Fasaki, and fans, thank you for joining us for the SWF’s ’Twas the Fight Before Christmas! Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!”

 

The camera fades out as Santa Claus raises Flesher’s arm, the belt still around the Superior One’s waist.

 

===

SWF ’Twas the Fight Before Christmas, December 16, 2003.

© White Apple Productions. All rights reserved.

The Smarks Wrestling Federation: Raising giftrate by wrapping faster.

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