Jump to content
TSM Forums
Sign in to follow this  
Sandman9000

OAO Fuck The Holidays Thread

Recommended Posts

Might as well establish this first. I'm not dead. I haven't been dead for however long I was gone. I also haven't tried to kill myself in some while (re: backyard wrasslin' and other stupid shite), though taking college chem was taking a razor vertically to the wrists of my GPA.

 

 

I can't be the only one who despises the holiday season. Now, I can get into also the teenage angsty Linkin Parkish bullshit reasons, "I wanted a Super NES, my parents got me a Genesis, I fuckin' hate them" shit, but the real deal is that I hate celebrations. I hate parties, I hate award ceremonies, I hate meaningless causes for acting like a complete jackass, and the holidays are one of them. Whoooo, another date on the calendar, you haven't succeeded in having the black hole in your skull swallow your entire being, nor has your stupidy caused gravity to reverse and toss us all into the sun, whoop de damn do, who gives a fucking shit.

 

Personally, as much as I could care less about my birthday, I'm somewhat glad it's around the holiday time, since it allows my cheapass moronic relatives to cop out and purchase one unwanted "gift" instead of two. I'd rather have none, but stupid society, requiring me to be "civil" about shit.

 

Now, you may be thinking to yourself, "why doesn't this fucking useless asshole just quit his fucking bitching and not celebrate the holidays or actually go kill himself and stop wasting bandwidth and oxygen?" If I had my way, I would. Unfortunately, I'm not yet completely financially independent, hence I get to return to my parents for extended time periods during the year, where they still celebrate holidays and birthdays and other occasions designed to make me want to stab myself in the eye with a screwdriver. And since I don't like sleeping in a dumpster, I get to put up with birthdays and christmas and the whatnot. I tell them I want nothing, but they never listened to me before, so why start now. I also love the subtle hints in the gifts that are designed to remind me that I'm a complete failure in life who has accomplished nothing and will accomplish nothing. "Oh, Guiness book of world records, great. Hey, this book of inventions and accomplishments, wow. Lookie, a list of things that occured the day I was born, with nothing under my name, whoop de damn doo." But that's beside the point.

 

From now on, this is what I'm going to do. By the time this shit rolls around next year, I'll be 21 (which means nothing to me, since I don't drink) and most likely living off campus, which means I won't have to go home, and if I do, it won't be for as long. I can tolerate a week with the relatives, but the three+ week winter break is too much. After a week and a half, two weeks if I'm lucky, my dad feels it necessary to remind me that I'm a constant underachiever who has only served to embarass the family on a constant basis and that I would have been better served to follow what he did in life and do things the way he does. When I do, I'm not telling anyone what I want, or to get me anything. I'm flat out telling them to get me nothing. And if they still feel compelled to get me something, they can reimburse me for something I bought myself. You say you wanted to get me a big gift? Pay my auto insurance, or I bought this video card, pay me back for that? Just a stocking stuffer? I went to Subway the other day, pay me back for my sandwhich. No clue on what to do? Gimme 20 bucks, I need gas. This way, morons feel like they've celebrated the holidays, I don't have to deal with useless bullshit, and children around the world can sleep safely at night.

 

Once again, I'm sure you're wondering, "Is he constantly this angry and whiny and hateful and bitchy about shit?" Yes, you bet your ignorant ass I am. I pretty much hate everything, and I definitely hate you more than you hate me.

 

And in case you need another reminder that I'm a sad motherfucker, don't make me post pics of me dressed up as Santa. Deranged Claus made sure that some 40 children found out that Santa's not real.

 

Huss = the new "indeed."

 

I'm done bitching for now. I'll have something else later.

 

Happy holidays, dickheads.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion

You need to embrace the gray emotionless side of nihilism, and not the high-blood pressure negative for the sake of it side.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Umm....lighten up. Have fun. Life isn't all doom and gloom. Get a girlfriend. Read a book. Ride a bike. Get some fresh air. Something........

He can't have sex with the girlfriend though.

 

That's most of the point of having a girlfriend.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Umm....lighten up. Have fun. Life isn't all doom and gloom. Get a girlfriend. Read a book. Ride a bike. Get some fresh air. Something........

He can't have sex with the girlfriend though.

 

That's most of the point of having a girlfriend.

You can have one for companionship or someone to hang out with and have fun being with. That's actually what I look for in a girlfriend rather than sex. Anyone can get meaningless sex with someone...you don't need a girlfriend for that.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Boo_Bradley
Umm....lighten up. Have fun. Life isn't all doom and gloom. Get a girlfriend. Read a book. Ride a bike. Get some fresh air. Something........

He can't have sex with the girlfriend though.

 

That's most of the point of having a girlfriend.

Someone clue me in as to why he can't have sex.

 

 

oh yeah and Best Gimmick Poster Evah!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Boo_Bradley

"Straight Edge"

 

 

Okay I feel like a moron, but what does that mean and how does it pertain to not having relations?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a giant thing typed up, and then this piece of shit computer decides to go and freeze. Goddamn Murphy's Law.

 

Basically, the only really concrete definitions about being straight edge are no drugs, no alcohol, no promiscious sex, and no tobacco. Even with that, there are still exceptions to those rules, such as communial wine and medical marijuana.

 

Other people add on extra rules to that list. I add on no caffeine and no painkillers, since I'm hardcore or some shit. Also, I won't take drugs to combat whatever mental disorders I clearly have. Some people add on veganism to the list, but I like my fucking burgers, goddammit.

 

No promiscious sex is again open to interpretation. Some people believe that means no sex until marriage, others believe that you should have a concrete definition of what your partner's name is before you two hook up. DuskTillDawn is a fellow XxX/sXe 'er, and he brags about his exploits with his girl until I threaten to mail him anthrax.

 

As for me? I'll cross that line when really necessary. I don't believe in no sex until marriage, but I don't believe in just random hookups either. Pretty much, I'll nail my girlfriend, but I don't see me being fuck-buddys with some broad in the dorm.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Basically, the only really concrete definitions about being straight edge are no drugs, no alcohol, no promiscious sex, and no tobacco. Even with that, there are still exceptions to those rules, such as communial wine and medical marijuana.

Straight edge? I've always been told that the word to sum all of that up is boring. I don't do drugs, drink, smoke anything, etc... The sex, as long as I know them somewhat, that's fine.

 

I've just always been told it was boring, not "straight edge". :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm straight edge too, but more due to my morals than to be part of a scene.

 

I don't smoke, get drunk, fuck around, do drugs or drink caffeine.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Also, I won't take drugs to combat whatever mental disorders I clearly have.

Will be funny when that catches up to you and can't hold a job due to explosive anger and end up as the guy on the street yelling at the sky.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Also, I won't take drugs to combat whatever mental disorders I clearly have.

Will be funny when that catches up to you and can't hold a job due to explosive anger and end up as the guy on the street yelling at the sky.

Actually, thanks to cable TV and talk radio, it most likely will make me a successful man.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I have an odd feeling you will end up like Michael Savage and wish someone death on air via a light tube beating.

 

It would fit your personality.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't take medication because I don't believe in letting chemicals of any kind affect my behavior and thinking, no matter how deranged it is.

 

I want attention because I'm an attention whore.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×