SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 2, 2004 Does this warrant the "Oh TAG~!" finisher you guys are so proud of? Just wondering. EDIT: Hey look, this "unfunny" thread just reached a third page! Whaddaya know? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted January 2, 2004 If that's all you post in this thread again...then yes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 2, 2004 Just so everyone knows, I'm putting guns to people's heads and forcing them to read this thread. WWE Signs New Hoss The WWE's Jim Ross announced earlier today that they'd signed a new talent. No other information was supplied about the newest superstar, except a photo, and the description by Ross that the new addition was a "Real Hoss, bah gawd." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 2, 2004 I would just like to go on the record as saying I am not fond of mayonaise. This just in...... Dustin Runnels has been released by the WWE. Terri Runnels has been released back into the wild. Virgil Runnels has been released from his 45 year SONY record deal and is planning a WEELPOWER reunion. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 3, 2004 Triple H Complains About Married Life No longer a newlywed, Paul Michael Levesque (aka Triple H) recently revealed the things he doesn't like about being married to Stephanie McMahon. They included: -Its not as fun to say "Hey, woman, hand me the remote" when the butler's going to do it anyways. -"Legal union" means she no longer feels obligated the oversell the size of my genitalia. -Thanks to joint checking accounts, I must now share the financial burden paying for half of any additional boob jobs. -My nights of staying up all night juicing up are long gone. -The question "Does this outfit make me look fat?" got old the first 1,375 times I heard it. -My father-in-laws always bugging me about "how good" she is. -My wedding ring shaped like the World Heavyweight Title is starting to look tacky. -Her family is CONSTANTLY coming over! -This bitch can't cook! And -Damn f***ing pre-nup. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 5, 2004 "DON'T YOU GO DY'IN ON ME!" In an attempt to revive the FWH thread, Repo Man Reborn will reveal a confidential spoiler about the upcoming PPV match between Triple H, Kane and Goldberg. Spoiler (Highlight to Read): Kane does not win. That is all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheFranchise 0 Report post Posted January 5, 2004 "DON'T YOU GO DY'IN ON ME!" In an attempt to revive the FWH thread, Repo Man Reborn will reveal a confidential spoiler about the upcoming PPV match between Triple H, Kane and Goldberg. Spoiler (Highlight to Read): Kane does not win. That is all. Spoiler (Highlight to Read): Yeah, he does. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 5, 2004 There once was a man named McMahon, Who liked to shoot up in the can. The juice gives him fits, He's growing his own tits, And each day less of a man. There once was a man named Flair Who sported a head of white hair He'd flop in the ring And a WHOOOOOO! he would sing, But he also needs a bra for his pair. I am sorry but man-boobs are hilarious. Forget the Rock's "monkey-crap" promos, give me Dusty Rhodes vs. Ric Flair NOW in a LOSERS SLAPS THE CRAP OUT OF THE OTHERS MOOBS MATCH and I am glued. If you are that fat, or old, or out of shape, either bust out the singlet or let me laugh at you. BIG SHOW TO FINALLY TO GIVE IN? Big Show has been told by management to either slim down or be prepared to wear a full body suit in the future. This week on Smackdown, Rey Mysterio was added to the list of those who have complained about wrestling the large U.S. Champion. The biggest complaint seems to be regarding his breasts. Mysterio told management at one point his lost his arm for a few seconds under Show's fleshy mound. Some consider this an advantage only women should be able to exploit and are angry at Show for using his juggs to make other look bad or perhaps cause injury. No word on what the buxom wrestler has decided. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 8, 2004 Another spoiler to keep this thread fresh: Spoiler (Highlight to Read): There is no way in hell that Triple H can lose to anyone, as he is the toughest wrestler alive. Only maybe an avalanche full of sharks with laserbeams on their heads might be able to cheat and beat him with tons of intereference. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 9, 2004 Early Release for New WWE Games THQ is planning to release this year's WWE wrestling games sooner than expected. "We basically want to get a jump on the massive amount of firings that are about to happen," said a source within the company, "and with the amount of money the WWE's loosing, we'll be lucky to have 30 guys to put on the roster by the time the PS3 comes out." To market the first of the new games, titled "Raw: Evolution", the television and print adds will feature the line "Where Your Favorite Superstars Can Actually Win". The game will feature a special backstage mode where players can build-up "push points" by kissing up to Triple H, jobbing to Shane, or by playing as Randy Orton. No word on when the second new game, "Smackdown: My Neck Is Broken", will be released. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 9, 2004 Most wrestling news websites are reporting that The Undertaker will be returning to his "dead man" persona upon his return and will feud with Kane. Most experts agree that this will lead to the return of their "dead match" persona which usually surfaces anytime these two get in the ring together. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Superstring 0 Report post Posted January 9, 2004 Oh for gods sake just let the thread die Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 9, 2004 SmartMarks poster Superstring had reportedly made a request from management to ax the FUNNY WWE HEADLINES angle. Sources close to the situation say he is pushing for the death of the angle in order to push his own program entitled, YARN VS. STRING: THE NEEDLEPOINT WARS - WHAT DO YOU THINK? Cats, as well as old women, are against this angle's push, as it will cause great confusion and heartache. "It's like choosing between Pepsi and Coke, " said Ester Johnson, 58 of Boise, Idaho, "I like them both." "Asking me to choose between yarn and string is like asking me which do I prefer - licking my own nuts or sleeping. I can't choose....and I won't, " said Toontz the cat, 3 of Portland, Oregon. More on this as it develops......... WWE to finally push RVD? Fans were excited when wrestling websites began reporting that discussions were being held to finally push one of its most held down stars, Rob Van Dam. Fans were immediately incensed when a glitch was discovered in the report and words were left out of the headline. The headline (after a correction and apology from the website) read, 'WWE TO FINALLY PUSH RVD TO REVEAL HE IS KATIE VICK'S BROTHER AND FEUD WITH KANE." Police are now reporting at least one RVD fan has already attempted to end his own life by doing a five-star frog splash off a local bridge. More on this as Hillary Duff's breasts develop........... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 9, 2004 That looks nothing like me. Everyone knows my beanie is red and white. Duh. Supreme Court Rules In Wrestling Case In a 7-2 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that wrestling match stipulations were not legally binding. The case of The State of South Carolina v. The Masked Mauler was heard after the wrestler in question was arrested upon his return to West Hintonfield, S.C., just months after loosing a "loser leaves town match" at a independent wrestling show in 1998. The Masked Mauler was arrested in early 1999 for violating the stipulation, and has spent the last 5 and a half years appealing the tresspassing conviction. The ramifications of this case are expected to shake the wrestling industry to its very core. Many fans of the sport were also disspleased with the decision, but it is unknown how the wrestlers themselves will react. Hardest hit will be the WWE's bookers, who will be forced to come up with angles for pay-per-views that do not revolve around match stipulations. More on this story as I make it up. credit: TheScorch Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 12, 2004 As has been reported, there will be a major backstage meeting before RAW airs tonight. The content of the meeting has been widely speculated, but we have received confirmed reports that a key issues will be for creative to actually ask for input back from the wrestlers............input on any original ideas they may have concerning Triple H's character and any fresh gimmicks that may be installed into his next title match with HBK. Management is hoping this will bridge the obvious gap between the writing staff and the boys in the back. More on this as Chyna's chin develops. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
David Blazenwing 0 Report post Posted January 12, 2004 WWE to re-launch WCW - News reports today confirm that World Wrestling Entertainment Inc. has indeed set in motion plans to reform World Championship Wrestling. Among other necessities, WWE has attempted to get in contact with former WCW Champion David Arquette, apparantly promising him another Championship run, pending if they can ever pry the WCW Championship from the grasp of Triple H. Other possible plans for the reformation of WCW include making Stone Cold Steve Austin the President of WCW (along with making Eric Bischoff his assistant) and bringing back Stevie Ray for what can only be described as "a god push, but not one as big as Randy Orton (though just as unwanted by the fans)." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 12, 2004 To confirm an earlier report, the WWE is negotiating with David Arquette to bring him in as the babyface who finally unseats Triple H for more than one PPV. Angles are already being submitted and word has it that OLE ANDERSON has been contacted on ideas for booking Arquette as a strong babyface champion. Anderson has already submitted one idea with a picture detailing the first credible threat to Arquette's championship. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuperJerk 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 (edited) David Arquette Update One proposed angle involving former WCW Champion David Arquette is to have him carry the World Heavyweight Championship for several months after Wrestlemania while Triple H recuperates for several months. The proposed main event for April's "Backlash" will be a triple threat between Arquette, Goldberg, and the soon-to-be traded Chris Benoit. Arquette will reportedly go over Benoit at the Edmonton, Alberta event. While most backstage feel this is a bad idea, Vince is excited at the prospect of bringing in Arquette's wife, "Friends" star Courtney Cox-Arquette to spike the ratings. "Damn fucking Vince," said one source within the company, who was apparently displeased with the decision. This wrestler, who wished to remain anonymous also stated, "that stupid motherfucking piece of shit" before adding, "goddamn this fucking company to fucking hell." It is beleived that the source of the quote was none other than Linda McMahon. We'll keep you posted. credit: 1torchofpain.org Edited January 13, 2004 by Y2Jerk Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest PowerPB13 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 Short list of future World Champions A memo was posted in the Raw locker room that the only people who will be allowed to carry the Raw World Title will be, in no particular order: Triple H, Shawn Michaels, Kevin Nash, Scott Hall, and Sean "X-Pac" Waltman. The fact that the last three people in the list are no longer employed by the company surprised those who read it. When asked about this rumor, a member of WWE's upper management(who I'll refer to as "Paul L." to preserve his anonymity) responded "Neener neener". -Patrick Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 TSM Poster Corey Lazarus Finds Interesting New Way To Use Tongue Longtime TSM poster, and bandanna fan, Corey Lazarus has discovered something new to do with his tongue while bored. "I was just bored to fuck while reading this stupid cunting thread, and I started doing it, and it felt good," said Corey, whose technique is sure to became the latest self-pleasuring maneuver to sweep the world. The tongue moving, which involves opening the mouth one quarter of an inch wide and sticking a flexed tongue halfway out before moving it quickly from left to right, has not only increased Corey's lapping speed on his girlfriend's vagina, but has also caused his lips to chap even more. More on this story as it develops... Source: www.thehun.com Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 Booker T To Change Catchphrase Booker T's "Can you dig it, sucka?" catchphrase has been called "too stale" by backstage representatives. "This catchphrase has both been used for far too long, and for no real reason. It's not funny, it's not menacing, and it doesn't have much to do with Booker T's character," said one WWE spokesperson. The new proposed catchphrase? Spoiler (Highlight to Read): "Yuuz gotz mah monay, NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?" I know that this could offend some people, but it does tie in somewhat to the racist booking of WWE. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest PowerPB13 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 Booker T To Change Catchphrase Booker T's "Can you dig it, sucka?" catchphrase has been called "too stale" by backstage representatives. "This catchphrase has both been used for far too long, and for no real reason. It's not funny, it's not menacing, and it doesn't have much to do with Booker T's character," said one WWE spokesperson. The new proposed catchphrase? Spoiler (Highlight to Read): "Yuuz gotz mah monay, NIGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?" I know that this could offend some people, but it does tie in somewhat to the racist booking of WWE. Given WWE's incessant need to be EDGY~!, I'm surprised the offensive word in question hasn't found its way onto WWE TV as of yet. -Patrick Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 That looks nothing like me. Everyone knows my beanie is red and white. Duh. Supreme Court Rules In Wrestling Case In a 7-2 decision, the U.S. Supreme Court ruled that wrestling match stipulations were not legally binding. The case of The State of South Carolina v. The Masked Mauler was heard after the wrestler in question was arrested upon his return to West Hintonfield, S.C., just months after loosing a "loser leaves town match" at a independent wrestling show in 1998. The Masked Mauler was arrested in early 1999 for violating the stipulation, and has spent the last 5 and a half years appealing the tresspassing conviction. The ramifications of this case are expected to shake the wrestling industry to its very core. Many fans of the sport were also disspleased with the decision, but it is unknown how the wrestlers themselves will react. Hardest hit will be the WWE's bookers, who will be forced to come up with angles for pay-per-views that do not revolve around match stipulations. More on this story as I make it up. credit: TheScorch I like that one. Sounds like something you might see on The Onion. Given WWE's incessant need to be EDGY~!, I'm surprised the offensive word in question hasn't found its way onto WWE TV as of yet. It was hilarious when he called Hogan that in WCW. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 Dude...you insulted us, TSM, Kit, David Hassellhoff (AKA Saddam Hussein), AND Gary Coleman in one post. Touché! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Adam 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 I never insulted TSM Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 13, 2004 (edited) TSM Poster Corey Lazarus Finds Interesting New Way To Use Tongue "I was just bored to fuck while reading this stupid cunting thread, and I started doing it, and it felt good," said Corey, whose technique is sure to became the latest self-pleasuring maneuver to sweep the world. As a follow up to the Lazarus tongue technique piece, reports are now coming out crediting TSM poster Corey "Feldman" Lazarus with yet another self-pleasuring manuever. Researchers have uncovered that Lazararus may have been the receipient of the world's first blowjob not administered by another human, during a freak vaccuuming accident. Sources close to Lazarus have not returned phone calls. NICE GUY ADAM TURNS HEEL TSM poster Nice Guy Adam, known to many as a nice guy, recently turned heel and insulted the FUNNY WWE HEADLINES thread by posting a picture of Michael Knight and Arnold Jackson congratulating the thread on being gay. The posting comes a s shock to many, as Nice Guy Adam (not to be confused with masked wrestler Super Gay Adam) seemed to be tolerant to the homosexual lifestyle and actually went so far as to support the right to choose. "I can't believe he would do something like that, " said pop star Justin Timberlake, "He seemed like a cool dude............I think I'm going to have to ask for my autographed undershirt back." Nice Guy Adam did not return any calls. LAS VEGAS vs. RAW LAS VEGAS broads: Nikki Cox, Vanessa Marcil RAW broads: Trish, Jazz, Stacy, Molly, Lita Edge: LAS VEGAS LAS VEGAS figurehead: Jimmy Caan RAW firgurehead: Bischoff and ATV Austin Edge: LAS VEGAS LAS VEGAS storylines last night: Vanessa Marcil looking to bang, people trying to rip off the casino, funny comedian doing great impression of Al Pacino RAW storylines last night: He's the Sheriff, in one second HBK will make you do the job, Jericho and Trish have bad timing Edge: LAS VEGAS SUMMARY QUESTIONS: How can you execute SWEET CHIN MUSIC with pants four sizes too small? Are we caught in a 1997 time warp? Lita is ugly. (Okay, that might not be a question.....) When does Austin beating on people get tired? Why won't Mark Henry break down and wear underwear? Edited January 13, 2004 by Repo Man Reborn Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NYU 0 Report post Posted January 13, 2004 (edited) Edited January 13, 2004 by NY Untouchable Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 13, 2004 You could just tell me I'm funny. No need to post a picture of your father as tribute. BOOKER T TO GO OVER KANE IN FEUD? Probably not. AUSTIN RETIRING? Right after Foley. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Repo Man Reborn Report post Posted January 14, 2004 JR IS NEW PAYROLL SHERIFF According to wrestling websites, Jim Ross has been given the green light to "eliminate" salaries of those superstars he feels are not producing. Ross was quoted as saying, "Hey, I'm not just going after the cruiserwieghts here. I'm going to be fair. I'm also going after the non-hosses, too." In other news, Matt Morgan and A-Train have received contract extensions and guaranteed cruiserweight title reigns within the next year. In other news, Repo Man Reborn is double posting because he is a hoss of funny. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
