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Rob E Dangerously

Britney Spears marries Jason Alexander

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Guest Sturgis
They are childhood friends, he didn't get any.

 

It was a joke, meaning odds are he didn't get in there.

 

I just wish she would go the hell away.

Can't I hit it, then use her to get me a record deal first?

I think that's implied.

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Thats the sort of shit I'd like to pull...get my whole family talking, friends goin nuts and then just bs it. I wonder if he gets 1/2 of her stuff since they divorced...

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Dude, for a second there I thought it said she married the middle aged bald man who played George Costanza.

 

HT-G0001.jpg

 

No, not him. But the thought is outright comedy.

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Pat Summerall: Hold on John...we have a flag on the play

 

Official:

ILLEGAL CRY FOR ATTENTION, ON THE OFFENSE. THAT'S A SAD AND PATHETIC PENATLY, REPEAT LOST OF 15 MINUTES OF FAME.

 

John: Oh that's just a shame Pat. It looked like Spears was back and then BOOM! Such a big mistake Pat

 

Pat: Right you are John

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Mrs. Britney No More

 

by Joal Ryan

 

Finally, Britney Spears and Zsa Zsa Gabor have something in common: short-lived--make that extremely short-lived--marriages.

 

In the spirit of Hungarian beauty queen Gabor (she of the one-day marriage in 1982 to Mexican lawyer Felipe De Alba), pop tart Spears ended her union to hometown friend Jason Allen Alexander on Monday, just two days after the fun couple tied the knot in Las Vegas.

 

Actually, Spears wanted out of the marriage--described by her camp as a "joke [taken] too far"--mere hours after the 5:30 a.m. Saturday ceremony at the Strip's Little White Wedding Chapel.

 

Per court documents posted on the Smoking Gun's Website, Spears signed papers requesting an annulment later that very same day.

 

The paperwork was filed with Nevada court officials on Monday morning. A judge signed off shortly thereafter, the office for Spears' Vegas-based attorney, David Chesnoff, confirmed.

 

In Spears' filing, the 22-year-old singer declared that she and Alexander, also 22, have no children, and aren't expecting any. She requested that neither she nor Alexander be awarded alimony or community property for the good, um, several hours each put in at the spousal office.

 

Spears said she deserved an annulment, which renders the marriage void and strikes it from the record (although not our collective pop-culture memory), because she "lacked understanding of her actions."

 

She and Alexander, her petition said, hastily exchanged vows before they settled matters such as "each others likes and dislikes, each others desires to have or not have children and each others desires as to state of residency." Presumably, they didn't get into the whole Justin Timberlake thing, either.

 

Although Alexander didn't submit any court paperwork of his own, he sounded in agreement with Spears' take on the "joke" marriage.

 

"We got back to the room [at the Palms casino, where Spears was staying] and...that's when all hell broke loose, and we realized what we did probably wasn't the right thing we should've done and wasn't the right way to go about it," Alexander, a Southeastern Louisiana University undergrad, not to be confused with the former Seinfeld star, told Access Hollywood. "We needed to fix the problem--the mistake we had made."

 

According to Alexander, who said he has known Spears "forever," dating back to the Louisiana preschool her mother owned and he attended, the "Oops" girl called him up on Tuesday, the day before New Year's Eve, and invited him to Sin City.

 

New Year's Eve in Vegas turned out to be a "really good night," Alexander told Access Hollywood. The wee hours of Saturday weren't so bad, either.

 

"We were sitting in the room, and it was just crazy, and we were looking out the windows and looking at the lights and the city...We were looking at each other, and we were like, 'Let's do something wild and crazy, and let's go get married just for the hell of it. Let's go,' " he said to the TV show.

 

The way Alexander described it, he and Spears wanted to enjoy a Vegas wedding without really getting married. Unfortunately, he said, they were told they couldn't walk down the aisle without a license. So, they got one.

 

An official at Las Vegas' Clark County Clerk Office, where marriage-license applications are processed around the clock during weekends (at $55 a pop), said Spears and Alexander obtained the paperwork in person. She did not know what time they were there.

 

Spears walked down the aisle at the Little White Wedding Chapel (home to nuptials for Sarah Michelle Gellar and Freddie Prinze Jr. and Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, among other celeb sets) and on the arm of a Palms limo driver and clad in a baseball cap and jeans.

 

The non-couple's quickie marriage, and even quicker annulment, came in the wake of a London tab report that Spears had to be carried out of the Palms' nightclub, Rain, after imbibing too much on New Year's Eve. Her camp labeled the account "ridiculous."

 

Las Vegas Review-Journal columnist Norm Clarke wrote in his paper that he saw Spears at 11:15 p.m. that night and that the entertainer "showed no signs of being snockered."

 

According to Clarke, Spears also appeared to be in possession of her faculties on Saturday night, several hours after the wedding. She was spotted dining at the Palms with older brother Bryan, casino co-owner George Maloof (one of Spears' rumored post-Timberlake beaus) and her soon-to-be ex, he wrote.

 

With a marriage escapade under her belt, Spears joins the storied ranks of Gabor, Ethel Merman, Patty Duke and Michelle Phillips as an incredibly ill-fated celebrity bride.

 

Broadway belter Merman's blessed union to Oscar-winning Ernest Borgnine endured for 32 days in 1964; Duke's marital bliss with Michael Tell lasted all of 13 days in 1970; Phillips' attempt to tame Easy Rider Dennis Hopper made it eight days, also in 1970.

 

Makes Jennifer Lopez--two failed marriages, lasting a combined two years, give or take a couple of months--seem a patient bride by comparison, huh?

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Britney's 'Husband' Has a Shady Past

Jason Allen Alexander, who may forever be known as Mr. Britney, is the hapless fellow who married Miss Spears at the crack of dawn on Saturday in a Las Vegas wedding chapel. And while his close pals told The New York Post he is secretly crushed that his childhood friend didn't take their spur-of-the-moment nuptials more seriously and sought an immediate annulment, he's still chatting it up with the media and enjoying his 15 minutes of fame.

 

But with fame come the skeletons out of the closet. The TV show "Entertainment Tonight" has uncovered a shady piece of Alexander's very recent past: The all-American boy from Louisiana has had several run-ins with the law in 2003. A year ago, he was arrested in Hammond, La., and later given two separate summonses, according to the Hammond city clerk Guy Recotta who cited court records for the following incidents. Recotta told "ET" that Alexander was arrested on Jan. 5, 2003 when he refused to leave the Extra Innings bar. The prosecutor threw out the charges when no witness showed up for the court date. One month later, on Feb. 5, 2003, the police accused Alexander of punching someone in the face. A bartender at Extra Innings said Alexander got jealous after another man tried to buy an ex-girlfriend a drink. He was issued a summons in that case, but again the charge was thrown out. And that's not all! On Oct. 25, 2003, Alexander got involved in another scrape at the bar for which he was issued a police summons.

 

The 55-hour marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Jason Allen Alexander was annulled on Monday, Jan. 5 at 12:24 p.m. by Clark County Family Court Judge Lisa M. Brown. The reason? "Plaintiff Spears lacked understanding of her actions to the extent that she was incapable of agreeing to the marriage." An annulment dissolves a marriage as if it never happened, while a divorce recognizes that it did occur.

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Britney's 'Husband' Has a Shady Past

Jason Allen Alexander, who may forever be known as Mr. Britney, is the hapless fellow who married Miss Spears at the crack of dawn on Saturday in a Las Vegas wedding chapel. And while his close pals told The New York Post he is secretly crushed that his childhood friend didn't take their spur-of-the-moment nuptials more seriously and sought an immediate annulment, he's still chatting it up with the media and enjoying his 15 minutes of fame.

 

But with fame come the skeletons out of the closet. The TV show "Entertainment Tonight" has uncovered a shady piece of Alexander's very recent past: The all-American boy from Louisiana has had several run-ins with the law in 2003. A year ago, he was arrested in Hammond, La., and later given two separate summonses, according to the Hammond city clerk Guy Recotta who cited court records for the following incidents. Recotta told "ET" that Alexander was arrested on Jan. 5, 2003 when he refused to leave the Extra Innings bar. The prosecutor threw out the charges when no witness showed up for the court date. One month later, on Feb. 5, 2003, the police accused Alexander of punching someone in the face. A bartender at Extra Innings said Alexander got jealous after another man tried to buy an ex-girlfriend a drink. He was issued a summons in that case, but again the charge was thrown out. And that's not all! On Oct. 25, 2003, Alexander got involved in another scrape at the bar for which he was issued a police summons.

 

The 55-hour marriage of Mr. and Mrs. Jason Allen Alexander was annulled on Monday, Jan. 5 at 12:24 p.m. by Clark County Family Court Judge Lisa M. Brown. The reason? "Plaintiff Spears lacked understanding of her actions to the extent that she was incapable of agreeing to the marriage." An annulment dissolves a marriage as if it never happened, while a divorce recognizes that it did occur.

 

SEE!

They WERE big fans of the "Triple H marries Steph on RAW" angle.

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Hefner Would Like Spears As a Girlfriend

 

NEW YORK (AP) - Now that Britney Spears is a single woman again, she already has at least one potential beau: Hugh Hefner.

 

The 77-year-old Playboy founder said he's interested in adding the pop singer to his bevy of beautiful blonde girlfriends.

 

``Britney would make a great girlfriend,'' Hefner told Us Weekly magazine for its Jan. 19 issue.

 

``Picasso had his pink period and his blue period. I am in my blonde period right now,'' he said. ``I think it's related to those early movies that had such a great influence on me when I was a kid.''

 

Hefner said he'd also like to see the 22-year-old Spears appear as a Playmate, as well as Catherine Zeta-Jones.

 

``They really epitomize the type of beauty that we like in the magazine,'' he said.

 

Spears got married in an impromptu Las Vegas ceremony early Saturday morning, then filed for an annulment 55 hours later. The groom, Jason Allen Alexander, is a childhood friend of hers from Kentwood, La.

 

Anyone else have a feeling Spears would be Hefs girlfriend just so she can keep herself in the spotlight.

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Britney's Bridal Consequences

 

by Joal Ryan

 

Britney Spears can keep the baseball cap. But about the wedding gifts...

 

According to an etiquette expert, protocol calls upon a couple who annuls their union to return presents offered in honor of the happy occasion. Of course, it's not clear the pop princess and her prince actually bagged any goodies.

 

"I'm sure they didn't," says Cynthia R. Grosso, of the Charleston School of Protocol and Etiquette in South Carolina.

 

Probably not. The Britney Spears-Jason Allen Alexander union has been clocked at having endured approximately 55 hours, from the 5 a.m. Saturday Las Vegas ceremony to the 12 p.m. Monday annulment.

 

The split would have gone down faster if the courts were open over the weekend: Spears signed paperwork requesting the do-over just hours after the early-morning ceremony.

 

No matter that Spears, 22, had to stay married to hometown pal Alexander, also 22, for a whole, entire day. With the granting of the annulment, Spears emerges with a clean marital slate.

 

"I think she's fine [with planning a future wedding]. She can do whatever she wants. She doesn't have to follow the rules of a second marriage," Grosso says, noting that second marriages traditionally are marked by scaled-down festivities and off-white dresses for the brides. (Spears' first, non-traditional, walk down the aisle, at the Little White Wedding Chapel, was marked by jeans-and-baseball cap attire.)

 

Using the definition that says annulment renders a marriage null and void, as if it never occurred (think Pam Ewing's dream on Dallas), Alexander will not factor into the count of any future marriages Spears may or may not rack up. As Grosso says, Britney "does not have an ex-husband."

 

Spears also doesn't have a potential multimillion-dollar headache. Las Vegas-based divorce attorney Anita Webster says had Spears' marriage not been annulled, the singer would have been bound by her home state's community-property laws to share her wealth. Spears earned an estimated $25 million in 2002 alone.

 

Both Spears and Alexander listed their residences as Kentwood, Louisiana, the rural town where they grew up and met. Louisiana is indeed a community-property state, meaning that bride and groom are entitled to share equally in earnings amassed as of the start of the marriage.

 

Webster says the speed at which Spears applied for, and was granted, the annulment was unusual. Usually, filings are processed "weeks [or] 10 days later."

 

"Most people aren't in that big of a hurry," Webster says.

 

Spears' annulment was granted on the basis of, as Webster put it, "want of understanding," meaning the "Oops" singer didn't know what she was getting herself into (think the Madonna liplock at the MTV Video Music Awards). The singer's court declaration says she and Alexander hadn't discussed much of anything--where to live, whether to have children, etc.--prior to taking the plunge.

 

The happy couple did, however, watch The Texas Chainsaw Massacre together on cable in a hotel room at the Palms, the Vegas casino where Spears spent her long and activity-filled New Year's weekend.

 

Alexander shared that detail with reporters Monday. Reporters returned the favor to the new media star by digging up some details on him.

 

Entertainment Tonight uncovered a January 2003 guilty plea to a disturbing-the-peace charge in Hammond, Louisiana, where Alexander attends Southeastern Louisiana University. The New York Daily News reported the former high-school football standout was arrested in Hammond again last October 25 following a bar fight. Alexander reportedly was booked on battery and disturbing-the-peace charges.

 

Alexander currently is said to be back in Kentwood with his family. No word on Spears' far-flung whereabouts. She is due to kick off her In the Zone Tour March 2 in San Diego, returning to the scene of her ill-fated wedding on March 6.

 

Next up for the former Mr. Britney Spears: Spring semester.

 

The college junior is scheduled to resume studies at Southeastern Louisiana on January 20, school officials say. The campus is ready, Rene Abadie, the university's director of public information says.

 

"I think [the media interest] pretty much died down today," Abadie says. "By that time, it'll be real old news."

 

Alexander can only hope. Even Spears' battle-tested family has become frazzled over the uproar.

 

In Hammond's Daily Star, Spears' "paternal grandpa," June Austin Spears, was noted as having "unplugged his telephone Sunday in order to watch the Sugar Bowl."

 

Said the elder Spears of his offspring's wild weekend, according to the paper: "All I know is what I've seen on TV."

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Thats the sort of shit I'd like to pull...get my whole family talking, friends goin nuts and then just bs it. I wonder if he gets 1/2 of her stuff since they divorced...

No, you have to be married for a certain amount of time (over a year from the time the divorce papers are filed I think) for that.

 

Even then, only the assets acquired after marriage are subject to being divided up.

 

Dude, for a second there I thought it said she married the middle aged bald man who played George Costanza.

 

That character and Duckman rocked. I wondered where Jason's been in the past several years when he isn't doing Roasts.

 

If Britney's image wasn't a glorified whore, I'd swear this was a way to get around the "no sex until marriage" vow she made, thereby slipping in a one-night-stand on a technicality. Also, simultaneously she gains big press.

 

Regardless, if there was any other reason I'm not sure, but supposedly her new album's sales are lagging--it's just a big publicity stunt.

 

In Hammond's Daily Star, Spears' "paternal grandpa," June Austin Spears, was noted as having "unplugged his telephone Sunday in order to watch the Sugar Bowl."

 

Grandpa's name is "June?!"

 

Anyone else have a feeling Spears would be Hefs girlfriend just so she can keep herself in the spotlight.

 

Of course.

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If Britney's image wasn't a glorified whore, I'd swear this was a way to get around the "no sex until marriage" vow she made, thereby slipping in a one-night-stand on a technicality. Also, simultaneously she gains big press

 

Britney's already admitted that she's not a virgin anymore. I think she did it with Justin.

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CELEB INSIDER: More Funny Stuff from Britney

You might think that Britney Spears' wedding "joke" of the weekend demonstrated an, um, unusual sense of humor on her part, to say the least. Well, while Spears and her groom, Jason Allen Alexander, and the lawyers are sorting out the annullment details, director Joseph Kahn is preparing to bring us another funny Britney.

He reports we’re going to see “a whole new Britney Spears” in her next music video, “Toxic,” which is currently being edited.

 

“You don’t really see any funny Britney Spears videos, but this is one that will be,” he says.

 

Kahn tells us that Britney “is a really funny girl. For all the sexiness she exudes and the sort of wildness about her, there’s also this sweet, Southern girl with an incredible sense of humor. And it’s a very friendly sense of humor, never at anyone’s expense. It’s very refreshing.”

 

In the video, Britney tracks down her spy agent boyfriend through Tokyo, Paris and London, then administers a fatal dose of poison to the cheating scum, played by “The Ring” hottie Martin Henderson.

 

“It’s very slick and big budget,” says Kahn, who’s also helmed videos for the likes of Eminen, Janet Jackson and Destiny’s Child. “You’ll see Britney with red hair and black hair, in lots of different outfits. But more importantly, you’re going to see the funny Britney. You know how normally she’s making out with some sexy guyin her videos? In the opening of this video, she’s kissing a 200-pound computer programmer looking dude. I talked to the guy who played him afterward and he said it was the pinnacle of his life.”

 

We bet.

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Britney Not Ditzy, Director Defends

Britney Spears' latest hijinks -- the spur-of-the-moment wedding to childhood chum Jason Allen Alexander and subsequent filing for an annulment -- may have folks wondering if the pop diva has really lost it. But superhot video director Joseph Kahn, who recently wrapped Britney's soo-due "Toxic" video, rejects the notion of ditzy Britney.

"People try to portray her as some sort of airhead, which is unfortunate. She's very sweet and people might mistake that for dumb, but she's a very, very smart girl," says Kahn, who's also helmed videos for such artists as Eminem, Janet Jackson and Destiny's Child. "She really has a firm grasp of her career and how much work it takes and she comes up with the basic concepts for the videos herself."

 

Kahn -- who makes his big-screen directorial debut with the Ice Cube motorcycle actioner "Torque," opening Jan. 16 -- is frantically trying to finish Spears' "Toxic" video by Friday.

 

"After doing this second video for her I've walked away with a newfound respect. She's still growing up and has a lot of years ahead of her. But at this young age to be on the set 12 to 14 hours a day and be dedicated to it and not complain is a discipline that you can't learn. I've worked with a lot of big stars and for your talent to be motivated to be there and enthusiastic about it is priceless for a director."

 

He admits, "I feel sorry for her sometimes...Everybody's a human being. If anybody had to take a bunch of people criticizing them for even the tiniest things it would be hard, so you know how strong she has to be to survive the sort of scrutiny she does."

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Yeah, scrutiny like she has zero talent and marrying someone only to divorce them 24 hours later is an obvious stunt to stay in the public eye.

 

OH THAT POOR GIRL! How can she survive people telling her the truth like this and no longer kissing her southern ass??

 

Someone get Brit a hug!

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Britney's video: A take on Timberlake?

'Toxic' debuts Tuesday on MTV

 

NEW YORK (Billboard) -- With her wedding/annulment imbroglio behind her, Britney Spears is getting back into showbiz high gear.

 

Her new video, "Toxic," will have its debut on Tuesday's "Making the Video" on MTV, and the singer is readying a North American tour.

 

The video apparently takes a swipe at ex-boyfriend Justin Timberlake and his "Cry Me a River" video. According to an article on MTV.com, "Spears plays a femme fatale who'll do just about anything to procure a poisonous potion so she can kill her cheating ex, played by actor Martin Henderson."

 

Among the video's images: Spears in flight attendant garb picking up a man for a "bathroom interrogation"; Spears in a catsuit; and Spears wearing "nothing but pasted-on diamonds," according to MTV.com.

 

The video was directed by Joseph Kahn, who has helmed videos by the Backstreet Boys, Eminem, Garbage, Hole, Moby and U2. His feature film debut, "Torque," opens Friday.

 

The tour has been dubbed the Onyx Hotel Tour, and will feature a stage resembling a magical hotel that grants the wishes and fantasies of those who enter.

 

The Onyx Hotel is "a vibrant, whimsical place where wondrous dreams are realized, and the darkest of secrets are revealed," according to a statement from Spears' label, Jive Records.

 

Kelis has been tapped to open shows on the tour's North American leg, which will kick off March 2 in San Diego. The run will wrap April 10 in East Rutherford, New Jersey.

 

Spears' official Web site (http://britneyspears.com/) is hosting auctions for seats in the first five rows at 16 shows on the tour. Proceeds from those seats and portion of regular ticket sales will benefit the Britney Spears Foundation.

 

Spears' tour comes in support of her latest studio album, "In the Zone." The Jive set debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard 200 and has sold 1.6 million copies in the U.S., according to Nielsen SoundScan.

 

Spears has had the run of the tabloids as of late, thanks to a January 3 Las Vegas wedding to longtime friend Jason Alexander. The nuptials, annulled two days later, were officially described as a joke taken too far.

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