So I just got done watching House of 1000 corpses

[fazzle 0]

I must find a way to create my own time machine and shoot Rob Zombie before he ever makes this movie. If anyone wants to rent this movie, here's the ideal way to watch it:

 

Start the DVD, leave it on the menu screen, and watch the shit with the clown. When he stops talking, turn off your DVD player. Seriously, the DVD menu is the most entertaining part of this movie.

 

I also seem to remember hearing all these reviews talking about the gore when the movie came out. Were we watching the same movie? I didn't see jack shit for gore. One scene that had potential for a good gore factor, but it was cut short.

[2GOLD 0]

"House" was horrible, just plain horrible. No gore, Moon although she is hot should never be allowed to open her mouth.

 

The scene with the cop that took about 4 minutes looked like he launched a firecracker out of his ass and the film was just poorly edited as well.

 

They "claim" that there is an un-rated cut but I think recently even Rob felt the movie was horrible to watch, like he was very drunk during filming or something.

 

The film was very flat. And the four kids? Did anyone really care that the four faceless wonders were being chased and killed? I mean really....did we know ANYTHING about them at all other than they have names? And did anyone remember their damn names 20 minutes into the film?

 

I was literally saying "Oh no! They got.....that....guy......who the hell was he?"

[Youth N Asia 0]

That movie was balls. Just blood for the sake of shock, but no serious gore. They tried to scare you so bad and too many times you just become amune to it.

 

Anyone could make a movie where you throw sick shit up every few minutes...but not every can make a scary movie

[2GOLD 0]

And Sherri Moon made me want to sent my head on fire just so I didn't have to hear her talk anymore.

 

That CAN'T be her real life voice cause I doubt Rob could stay married to someone with that annoying cackle she has.

 

She is hot as hell...but the only thing I was scared of in that film was when she opened her mouth.

[Guest Just J]

The movie was a great, plain and simple. But the DVD menus are hilarious too.

[Guest El Satanico]

I liked it and I don't care what anyone says.

[Red Baron 0]

The movie was a great, plain and simple. But the DVD menus are hilarious too.

I agree, this was one of the best horror movies made, and certainly one of the best horror movies in the last 5-7 years.

[fazzle 0]

Ok, then maybe you can explain to me exactly what I'm missing that makes it so great. I saw a horror movie with no scares and little gore. I wasn't expecting a good movie, I was just expecting some fun cheesy b-movie action. But instead, I was just BORED.

 

Everyone I was with wanted me to turn the movie off not even halfway through, so we could do something better. But instead I left it on, hoping it would get better. It didn't. Instead it just felt like a really lame remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And not even the good one, I'm thinking more like the shitty 90's Next Generation TCM.

 

I would have been much more entertained by an hour and a half of the clown.

[Youth N Asia 0]

And I loved the TOTALLY UNPREDICTABLE thing with the guy poping up in the backseat...never saw that one coming.

[Damaramu 0]

Yeah I thought it sucked.

I mean....it was done better the first time when it was called Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

[2GOLD 0]

Sid Haig RULED in it though....I'll get to meet him in August and he was the only bright spot.

 

If the film had been an hour and a half of just Sid, it would have been awesome.

 

"What the hell? Hey Bane, the Batman and Robin set is that way!"

-Me when the "doctor" appeared.

 

"Ok, he goes to shoot him in the head and a firecracker launches out of his ass?"

[NoCalMike 0]

The OPENING to the movie was grade A genius. No one has the balls to say otherwise. Now after that though, the movie goes downhill pretty fast. I thought the entire underground cave stuff was way to clusterfucked.

[fazzle 0]

Yeah, the clown kicked ass. Everything after the first 15 minutes or so sucked.

[Downhome 0]

I must find a way to create my own time machine and shoot Rob Zombie before he ever makes this movie.

Oh you lucky fucking bastard, heh. I clicked on this thread expecting you to, for some insane reason, do nothing but praise this piece of shit.

 

This is one of the WORST films, not just horror but any, that I've ever seen. Ugh, it gives me a headache just thinking about it. There were only two good scenes in the entire thing.

[Vyce 0]

I thought the film sucked. It had no story (yes, I know, many horror films don't, but this REALLY didn't have a story) and was mainly just blood & violence for their own sake.

 

That said, I do think Zombie has potential as a director in the horror genre - he just needs to get better material, and probably stay away from writing his own projects.

 

That CAN'T be her real life voice cause I doubt Rob could stay married to someone with that annoying cackle she has.

 

Well it's kind of hard to talk if she's got Rob's dick in her mouth.

[Guest Urine Sane]

Everyone I was with wanted me to turn the movie off not even halfway through, so we could do something better. But instead I left it on, hoping it would get better. It didn't. Instead it just felt like a really lame remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. And not even the good one, I'm thinking more like the shitty 90's Next Generation TCM.

 

You were in my brain I guess at the theater, because you quoted me perfectly. It's nice to see some people on the internet who arent praising the hell out of this piece of trash. Fans need to ask themselves this: If this movie weren't from Rob Zombie, but instead from the guy who made "House of The Dead" would you still like it?

 

It FUCKING SUCKED! I wanted to walk out but was waiting for something to redeem the movie. I hated how Zombie took 5 minutes to kill the cop just because you know he was saying "Let's shoot it this way, because at the premiere I want everyone to get pissed off!!!".

 

Him scripting a sequel just goes to show how many idiots there are willing to give a lot of money to other idiots. Look here, give me some time with a solid, creative writer, and as much money as shitty movies have gotten over the years...let's take Water World....gimme like $100 million, and not only will I make back that plus about $300 million, but it will actually be a good movie that doesn't just rely on one thing, but rather is shown care and is put together correctly with balance, intelligence, and creativity.

 

Hopefully you stupid millionaires are reading this, feel free to reply with offers.

Edited January 12, 2004 by Urine Sane

[fazzle 0]

I hated how Zombie took 5 minutes to kill the cop just because you know he was saying "Let's shoot it this way, because at the premiere I want everyone to get pissed off!!!".

The cop shooting was funny when they started doing the long pan. Then it started getting boring. Then I thought my DVD player froze up. Then I thought it started panning back again. Then I was sure it froze up. Then the cop shat out a firecracker and it was dissapointing.

[Youth N Asia 0]

The cop shooting was dumb. I'm sure they were going for something artistic and all, but after it happened I'm sure most people thought "finally!"

 

One of the main problems (and there are so many) is that the annoying kids have no chance. They don't even give them a chance of hope, and in horror you have to come down after a huge scare before you mess with them again...but they didn't even have the huge scare to begin with.

 

The opening was entertaining...but went to shit right after.

[Guest Mosaicv2]

the openin is very enjoyable as a fat balded guy & a short skinny guy talkin about suckin pussies & fuckin a lot... just "perfect"

[2GOLD 0]

As I said, Sid Haig aka the clown.

He was the only bright spot and he was in it MAYBE 20 minutes.

 

Another key to a good horror is you have to at least give one bit of damn about the victims. I didn't even know they had names. All I knew was one of them looked like the guy from the Barenaked Ladies and one of the females looked like she escaped National Lampoons Vegas Vacation II.

 

And the undeground stuff....what the hell were the reapers from Blade II doing there? And Bane from Batman and Robin? Plus you Bill Mosley dressed like a character on Farscape once we got underground.

 

It was a damn shame and it was ANOTHER movie wasting a perfect opening. No wonder Rob hates the final cut of the film, it's murder to sit through.