Zack Malibu: The Movie

[Zack Malibu 0]

Well...Zachariah T. Malibu XVIII and I are good friends over IM's. Our talks are most normally filled with "DUDE! I SCORED! DAMN YEAH!" and talks of wrestling. But, on the rare occasions, we also talk of more personal matters. In fact, it was Zack (or Chris) that helped me get over my break-up with my long-time girlfriend.

 

 

In essence, Zack is the fuckin man.

See, now Jay can def. use something like this. I thank you for your words, Ken.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Guess I'll add my two cents:

I don't talk to Zack as much as alot of people do seeing as I don't have AIM, but I know him enough to say he's a great guy. Easy to talk to, easy to joke around with. He's someone who's good to debate with, and he's not a dick about it. He got me involved in OAOAST, and I have to say, I'm glad he did, because it's a blast. I say this 100% seriously: he's one of the guys that I would like to meet in real life from this board.

Another quality post. Thanks for the input, CC, it's appreciated greatly.

[The Dames 0]

...I can't believe you, Zack.  I feel so...used. 

 

*Calls Spoon up*

 

Dames

You can call Spoon, but who's gonna be the one singing the words to "One Way Love" off the top of his head with you sometime soon?

 

That's right, me. I can TKA that shit down. Spoon can't.

One Way Love

Well, we had something

Zack, you played me for a fool...

 

Dames

[Zack Malibu 0]

Tears May Fall, Dames, but don't worry about those Scars Of Love.

 

(is sure that NO ONE else will get that joke but Dames)

[The Dames 0]

Is Maria your favorite TKA song, Zack? It is for everyone else that I know.

 

Dames

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

are we supposed to say good stuff about Zack?

 

cause I don't want to do that. I mean, if I show a crack in my facade it might damage my image.

 

ah well.

 

I love you Bro.

 

Zack's awesome. He's the reason the OAOAST is still going. For all his talk about being a pro with the ladies there's actually been a few times where it's been ME giving HIM advice, but he takes it to heart and has done well. Oh and his puppies are cute. My dpg just pukes alot. Zack's funny and well spoken.

 

and he doesn't know it but i'm the guy that's been sending him breather phone calls for two years now.

[Zack Malibu 0]

Is Maria your favorite TKA song, Zack? It is for everyone else that I know.

 

Dames

No, Louder Than Love is.

 

I just love the whole beat and feel to that song.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

okay...how I really feel about Zack...

 

The dude rules. If he was my boss I'd be the happiest guy in the world to go to work every day. It was pretty awesome talking to him and seeing that I wasn't the only person thinking the way I think (and that's not an insult).

 

I would put it this way... I think that Zack has some kind of odd charm that just makes people like him. He can walk into a supermarket and get the guy stocking shelves in Aisle 5 to go drinking with him in about 2 minutes ...even if the guy has never drank before in his life. He just has this happily persuasive attitude that makes you do things you wouldn't normally do...but are happy you did them... and he can make anyone have a good day just by uttering some stupid catchphrase or singing a song or doing an impression or whatever... it's just this all around "aura of malibu-ness" that everyone should have...but most lack.

 

Zack...you ever need anything and you run out of people to call... i'd do my best to help ya out. I know i'm a longgggg way away from you, bro...but on the internet...it's like you are the next door neighbor I wish I had (though the one I have now is uber-hot and I wouldn't give that up for anything...so you can live on the other side of the street or something).

 

All in all... I have a few reasons why I visit this board every day... and Zack is up there near the top (i'm not exactly sure what the TOP is, though).

 

I'm not even trying to suck up, either...these are my general feelings.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Zack's life sounds boring. I will write a blockbuster scenerio script in the morning as I am completely drained mentally now after a tough day. Don't worry Zack's friend, you'll get your A...although you may need to employ Johnathon Lithgow for one of the roles I have in mind.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

Louder Than Love is.

the only Louder Than Love worth a damn is the album of the same name by Soundgarden.

 

 

everything ties into grunge.

 

 

and you know what's funny. I go to WDI today and I got a PM from someone saying they want to make a film script out of the Gnome Warfare stuff.

[Hoff 0]

*talks*

 

I've known Zack, or Chris, I suppose, for a few months now. I met him online, on the internet, which I know a lot of people write off as being nerdy, or creepy, or one of a handful of other stereotypes. But I've found that there's actually quite a few good internet communities out there, where people really know each other, and at the Smart Marks, which is the community where I met Zack, it was easy to see that he was a big part of that, a part of the glue that sort of held people together. You could just tell that he was, and is, a very friendly, amicable person, and people liked him, talk to him, and he talks back, and listens. You know, I've actually been around this same little corner of cyberspace for a couple of years, and I know that people like that, who do talk, and listen, can really make a difference in people's lives, just the same online as off. I think Zack is a really great guy.

 

It's actually kind of funny that we'd never so much as spoken before maybe four or five months ago, seeing as we've been so close by, so to speak. We run with a lot of the same circles, know the same people. But I guess things develop in their own time, and at least I've had the chance to get to know him now. Zack is cool; he's in a handful of "net people" I'd like to meet in real life, which is saying something, I think.

 

I was actually going to say that Zack has never changed my life or anything like that, but that's not entirely true. Zack was one of the people who got me into what's called "e-wrestling," which I've actually tried twice before and not enjoyed. But Zack's done a lot to keep me interested there, as he runs a lot of it, and now I even find myself recruiting others. So, I guess he has changed me in a way. And that isn't to say he's done anything profound. I firmly believe we're changed by everyone we meet, in some small way. Affected, at any rate. But that doesn't take away from what Zack has done, which is basically open up a whole new hobby for me, and help me with it. That's the sort of thing friends do, and I do appreciate it.

 

I almost feel like I shouldn't say this openly on the message board, because I think a lot of people are going to read it wrong. I'm not trying to paint Zack as a saint, or anything, or say that he's my bestest friend forever. I actually have many kind things to say like this about a lot of people. But Zack is a genuinely good guy, and someone that, yeah, I would call a friend of mine. And I feel he deserves to be acknowleged for that. So, Zack, Zack Malibu, Chris DePetrillo, here's to ya.

Edited January 21, 2004 by Hoff

[Zack Malibu 0]

okay...how I really feel about Zack...

 

The dude rules. If he was my boss I'd be the happiest guy in the world to go to work every day. It was pretty awesome talking to him and seeing that I wasn't the only person thinking the way I think (and that's not an insult).

 

I would put it this way... I think that Zack has some kind of odd charm that just makes people like him. He can walk into a supermarket and get the guy stocking shelves in Aisle 5 to go drinking with him in about 2 minutes ...even if the guy has never drank before in his life. He just has this happily persuasive attitude that makes you do things you wouldn't normally do...but are happy you did them... and he can make anyone have a good day just by uttering some stupid catchphrase or singing a song or doing an impression or whatever... it's just this all around "aura of malibu-ness" that everyone should have...but most lack.

 

Zack...you ever need anything and you run out of people to call... i'd do my best to help ya out. I know i'm a longgggg way away from you, bro...but on the internet...it's like you are the next door neighbor I wish I had (though the one I have now is uber-hot and I wouldn't give that up for anything...so you can live on the other side of the street or something).

 

All in all... I have a few reasons why I visit this board every day... and Zack is up there near the top (i'm not exactly sure what the TOP is, though).

 

I'm not even trying to suck up, either...these are my general feelings.

Well damn, thanks Randolicious.

 

I have to say, some of the posts like this, CC's, etc. aren't surprising in general since we all get along, but the actual emotions are. I've gotta say, I love you guys for putting yourselves "on the line" like that (yes, that means you, CWM, you badass). I hope Jay does it all justice.

 

Seriously though, thanks.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

I actually don't like that "it's only a messageboard" shit... i mean... it's not real life... but it's not entirely fake either (though sometimes it goes there)

 

shit...i'll be at work some days and be like "i wonder what ______ is doing right now?" and then i'll come home and jump on the boards to see what's up...

 

When Kotz fucked up his car... sure I laughed...but I felt bad for the guy at the same time.

 

When Zack was going through his girl problems...it was like "damn, I know what that's like" and I can feel for the guy.

 

CWM in rehab... man... I almost couldn't believe that. I've never had that problem or anything...but i've been in therapy (i'm sure there are BIG differences) ...but my life needed fixed...changed...it needed to be my life again... and I got it back... and every day I think about all of you guys and just hope that even if this board died that I would still have some kind of contact with everybody I have befriended.

 

It's just an odd kind of "home away from home" feeling even though I'm sitting in my bedroom.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I'm getting jealous

 

 

*plots to wreck movie*

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I actually don't like that "it's only a messageboard" shit... i mean... it's not real life... but it's not entirely fake either (though sometimes it goes there)

 

shit...i'll be at work some days and be like "i wonder what ______ is doing right now?" and then i'll come home and jump on the boards to see what's up...

 

When Kotz fucked up his car... sure I laughed...but I felt bad for the guy at the same time.

 

When Zack was going through his girl problems...it was like "damn, I know what that's like" and I can feel for the guy.

 

CWM in rehab... man... I almost couldn't believe that. I've never had that problem or anything...but i've been in therapy (i'm sure there are BIG differences) ...but my life needed fixed...changed...it needed to be my life again... and I got it back... and every day I think about all of you guys and just hope that even if this board died that I would still have some kind of contact with everybody I have befriended.

 

It's just an odd kind of "home away from home" feeling even though I'm sitting in my bedroom.

That's how I feel too Rando. I really appreciate that by the way.

 

You're part of a small group of people I consider real friends.

[The Dames 0]

....Word. Where's my movie, dammit?

 

Dames

[Zack Malibu 0]

....Word. Where's my movie, dammit?

 

Dames

You're my sidekick in this one. You get a solo dance routine to the tune of "Show Me".

 

Now bust a move, hotstepper.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

....Word. Where's my movie, dammit?

 

Dames

i say we make a odd couple movie Dames. you can be the hip urban guy and I can be the weird Gnome loving grunger

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

....Word.  Where's my movie, dammit?

 

Dames

You're my sidekick in this one. You get a solo dance routine to the tune of "Show Me".

 

Now bust a move, hotstepper.

wow wow. I've been your buddy for TWO years. why don't *I* get to be your sidekick. i'd bet good money i've known you longer than Dames.

 

 

back off Damian, he's my mealticket.

[Zack Malibu 0]

....Word.  Where's my movie, dammit?

 

Dames

You're my sidekick in this one. You get a solo dance routine to the tune of "Show Me".

 

Now bust a move, hotstepper.

wow wow. I've been your buddy for TWO years. why don't *I* get to be your sidekick. i'd bet good money i've known you longer than Dames.

 

 

back off Damian, he's my mealticket.

This is true.

 

You can be jaded, cynical guy, who asks everyone "Why you gotta be like that". It's the catchphrase of '04, I'm telling you.

[The Amazing Rando 0]

hey...i'm a pretty good dancer too, ya know

[The Dames 0]

Fuck this. I deserve a motion picture.

 

Dames

[The Amazing Rando 0]

*looks at Dames' avatar*

 

You have one already...it was called E.T.

 

(yes...i know i wasn't the first to make this joke...it just fit here so well)

[Guest FrigidSoul]

Ok, after about 6hrs of interupted sleep(no more leftovers before bed) I am here to write the best damned movie thingie ever.

 

Start off the movie to the old symphony theme Triple-H had when he was a blue blood type with my thoughts earlier of 6 year old girls holding hands in a circle and spinning in a field of flowers, then Zack smiling, then the atom bomb going off and the Japanese running around scared, then Zack frowning. After that fade the music and the screen to black, pause for 2 seconds and have the school bell ring thus hitting the entrance theme I came up with...due to the lyrics I advise you just run through the cast while playing this and not try to run a theme...its your film however.

 

Act I: The Early Years, Scene I: A Malibu is Born

 

*Hospital Double doors swing open violently and a white woman laid out on a bed being guided by nurses with her husband at side come charging through the doors. The women is breathing heavily and is obviously near ready to give birth as beads of sweat roll down her forhead. They reach the delivery room and the woman looks over to her husband*

Woman: I love you so much...

Man: I love you too hunny, you are why my every waking moments mean something

*The woman gives out a painful moan, the doctor tells her to "push" and the woman begins. First comes out the head, then slowly the rest of the child emerges until a beautiful black baby boy is born...husband looks over to wife*

Man: You cheating bitch, I'll kill you!

Woman: It was only one time!

*as the nurses restrain the man pan over to the room next door quickly to show the Malibu parents holding their young boy Zack who was born the night before*

Mr. Malibu: He's beautiful dear, but we still haven't decided a name

Mrs. Malibu: How about...Zack?

Mr. Malibu: That's a great name dear

*just then the doors to their room open and 3 men enter*

Mr. Malibu: Who are you?!

Man 1: Why we are the 3 wise men of Entertainment...come to bless your child

Mrs. Malibu: Why I don't understand...

Man 2: Quiet! Now let us see the boy...

*3 wise men walk over to the child in mother's arms*

Man 1: My name is John Hughes, and I bless upon you the power to always remain in the public's eyes. *radiant light shines down out of nowhere upon Zack's face and then fades away seconds laters*

Man 2: My name is Peter Engel and I bless your child with the power to always attract the 15-29 female demographic! *second light comes shining down and just like the first disappears seconds later*

Man 3: My name is Lorne Michaels and I...wait a minute, this is the baby Bob Barron isn't it?

Mr. Malibu: Why no...no it isn't

Lorne Michaels: Oh, my mistake...I'm sorry, I have the wrong room *an embarassed Lorne Michaels leaves*

*slowly fade out to black with Peter Engel and John Hughes looking down upon the young Zack with a smile*

(now your teacher won't understand the Bob Barron reference but I like it, so you keep it in there!)

 

Scene II: This child has potential

This is basically your filler scene where you play that song by CCR where he sings "When I was just a young boy..." and show the child actor playing Zack getting into mischief. Then the 5 year old Zack needs to kill a bear(pronounced bah-rrr) with his bare hands. Point out that the bear was humbled by cancer and the loss of use in two of its legs...still show Zack punching it in the head till it dies. I advise getting a man in a bear suit because you can never go wrong there.

 

I will write Scene III later, this has drained me

[Guest EQ]

For those of you who do know me, and even for those of you who don't, you might notice that I'm not really around that much anymore. I don't post a lot lately for whatever reason. But when I got an IM from my buddy Malibu asking that I contribute to this documentary, I had to come out of the woodwork.

 

So what can I tell you about Malibu? Well, we got to know each other on TSM at first, but now we pretty much talk on AIM from time to time. I'd say I've gotten to know him fairly well. We mostly exchange stories about our experiences with girls (I taught him everything he knows). I was actually supposed to go up to visit him sometime last month, but me and Dames never got around to it (we'll do that one of these days, Malibu).

 

Anyway, what else? Oh yeah, one of the things I said to him that seemed to get a lot of press (at the time) on TSM was that "if he weren't such a fucking cool guy, I'd hate him". So yeah, you can use that quote in your thing.

 

Well, I guess that's it for now, I'll post other stuff if I remember. Catch you later, Malibu.

[Guest EQ]

Fuck this. I deserve a motion picture.

 

Dames

Just make sure that I get to play myself in the movie and I get a love scene with a "mind-bogglingly" hot bitch.

[k thx 0]

Zack's good people.

 

It says a lot that he's probably the most respected person on this board, and all without any of the drama or stupid flames that normal people like myself have to do to get noticed. I don't think anybody on this board has ever had a bad word to say against him.

[Guest Plushy Al Logan]

Cast:

Zack Malibu- Mark-Paul Gosselaar

Dames- Braun The Leprechaun

Anglesault- ?

CWM- ?

The New Me- Michael Jackson

CWM III- Plushy Al Logan

Banky- Jerry The King Lawler

 

 

Appearances by the Dungeon of Doom:

Plushy Al Logan (I want to get paid twice)

Scott Keith

Axl Rose

Jason Voorhees

John Tenta

 

 

Special Appearances by:

Slash

Gina Lee Nolin

Joey Buttafuco

Michael Clarke Duncan

 

 

Soundtrack:

Talk Dirty To Me- Poison

Fire In The Hole- Van Halen

Armageddon It- Def Leppard

Smells Like Sellouts... um I mean Teen Spirit- Nirvana

The Dungeon of Doom theme

Estranged- Guns N' Roses

Ave Satani

Things've Changed- Sammy Hagar & The Waboritas

Everybody Wants Some- Van Halen

Photograph- Def Leppard

Cum On Feel The Noize- Quiet Riot

The Clansman- Iron Maiden

Saved By The Bell theme

...help me think of some others.

Edited January 21, 2004 by Plushy Al Logan

[Zack Malibu 0]

Oy vey. This thread just HAD to go up when Mario came back, didn't it?

[k thx 0]

Logan, why are half of your posts admitting you are CWMIII, and the other half having a go at people for saying you were CWMIII?