The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 ::February 13th – 4 PM:: Alan Clark sits inside his tour bus on the road to Penn State University. The cameraman that was asked to accompany Alan on his trip has been waiting 2 days for whatever it is that Clark needs to talk about. Apparently now is the time. Alan says not a word, and only holds up a videocassette, a smile on his face. As he places the tape into his VCR and presses play, his big screen TV flickers to life and Alan simply says one word to the cameraman. (Alan) Watch. The cameraman turns to focus on the TV screen, and what can be seen is Alan Clark himself, the camera held out at arm length from his face. Alan’s ever present smile seems even larger as he sets the camera down (on a tripod it seems) and moves out of the camera’s view, revealing Thugg’s large gold Caddilac behind him. Alan comes back into frame a moment later, carrying a sledgehammer… *WHUMP…CRASH* Alan swings the hammer high above his head and brings it down onto Thugg’s windshield, shattering it into the front seat. Alan takes another swing, this time at the driver’s side window, breaking it with ease. Another few shots and the other window is broken, and the rear window is cracked and beat. Alan makes his way to the passenger side of the car and repeats the process, and it’s at this time at Thugg’s cousin seems to interject himself, running into frame screaming. (Cuz) WHAT ARE YOU DOING!? (Alan) GET OUT OF HERE! Alan winds up and tosses the sledgehammer at the man, causing him to duck out of the way and run back from where he came. The camera’s mic can pick up the sounds of the sledgehammer hitting the ground and bouncing violently across the parking lot. Alan laughs and climbs up to the roof of the Caddilac and stands there, holding his hands high above his head. With one huge scream, Alan jumps down and lands on the hood, denting it in with his feet as he bounds down to the ground. Alan goes out of frame and returns with the sledgehammer, as well as a crowbar and a long knife. Alan looks into the camera and smiles once more before going after Thugg’s tires, slashing each in turn with his knife, then making a second pass around, popping up the hubcaps and tossing them into a pile by the back bumper. Alan disappears with the sledgehammer behind the car and loud thuds can be heard, and finally with one final scream and another loud thud, Alan reemerges from behind the car and walks toward the camera, carrying his destructive tools with him. (Alan) WHO’S…THE….BITCH….NOW!?! Alan lifts the camera up and walks around the car, taking a moment to toss a small index card into the front seat as he passes by to behind the car, to show the damage to the rear bumper, and the flattened rims. Alan takes a kick at them, causing them to skitter across the parking lot. The video abruptly ends there and goes to static, and the camera in the tour bus turns back to Alan, whose smile is so large it could have it’s own governor. (Alan) Thanks for watching. The camera fades out as Alan rewinds the tape and starts to watch again. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 Well...I wasn't expecting that. Most mis-leading title ever. Anyway, kudos on getting the fued on with HVT...good luck, cause you'll need it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 Note: Original editted for accidentally dumping in Va'aigas catchphrases. I'm such a bastard. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 I'm gonna post my home movies with me and Amy Craven. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 I'm gonna post my home movies with me and Amy Craven. I'm pretty sure these involve cosplay & the game of Stratego. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 Is that what they call Anal Sex and Bukkake now adays? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 quite possibly. Ask Janus. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
HVilleThugg 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 I have a cousin?? LOL. Perhaps you mistook my ebonics..."cuz" is just another way of saying "you bitch" or just a way of references someone. He's not really my "cousin"...he's just some dude that I decided to write into the promos. Didn't mean to confuse you. Da "you besta learn how to listen, fo' I gotta straight blast you cuz" H Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 for my non-knowledge of such things. It happens. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2004 .... I love it when other people handle my lightwork... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
