King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted March 20, 2004 - I was gonna promo for the show, but it seems all my effort is needed to try and topple W&D with Todd...so, I finshed this one up quick. I'll be going into the next step of the plan hopefully next show Alan...expect a PM on that nearer the time. ---------------------------------------- The camera shot opens upon the face of a smug, smiling Landon Maddix...slowly panning away to reveal The SWF's Disciple himself standing against a brick wall, flanked by his loyal valet Megan Skye who is carrying a familiar looking musical instrument...Alan Clark's guitar. The smug smile fails to disappear from Landon's face, as he looks down at the guitar in Megan's hands and chuckles to himself. "Oh me, oh my...what do we have here Alan?" The Disciple again chuckles. "Remember me Alan? You should do...unless of course that chair shot I gave you on Lockdown's given you amnesia that is." Looking to Megan, Landon smiles and motions for her to give him the guitar, which she complies with quickly. "But I'm sure you do indeed remember me Alan. After all...we have quite the history between us don't we. Let's take a quick jaunt down memory lane, shall we? Together we contested the last EVER SJL match, in which I took your SJL World Championship. Before that, we fought each other and I took the SJL European Title from you. I see a pattern coming along. Every time we fight, it seems I take something from you. European Title...World Title...and now this hunk of junk. Your 'gee-taarr'." "Our plan went perfectly..." Megan suddenly interrupts. "It certainly did. And may I say Megan you know how to turn off a power-switch very well." Megan nods accepting the rather odd compliment, as Landon turns back to the camera and holds up the commandeered guitar. "I'm sure you're sitting watching this Alan...you've got 1800-FIXMYNECK on speed-dial and Bryan Adams on the boom-box, and all the while there's this nagging question in the back of your head. Why? Why Landon, why? You're looking at me, waiting for an answer to that question. That question I've heard from so many little brats so many times. The same question that always has the same answer. "Because it's what needed to be done". I joined up with Todd because it was what needed to be done. I kicked your ass, clipped your knee out and ripped your Disney loving soul out because it was needed to be done. And now, I interrupted your public busking session because quite simply...it was what needed to be done." Another chuckle eminates from Maddix's mouth, as he again glances down at the guitar. "See, I was sitting in the back, minding my own business, preparing to beat Charlie Matthews...'The Champion Of The Apes'...for the SECOND time. And then I hear your whiny, wailing voice screeching out of my T.V monitor, and I couldn't stand it any longer. You were slowly killing the ears of every single person watching. So, I decided kicking your ass really was what needed to be done. You know and I know Alan...I'm a man of class. I frown upon mediocrity, and to call your singing medicore would be a crime to mediocrity." Megan nods her head in agreement with Landon. "Poor Megan...poor, poor Megan...she's a music fan Clark. She likes all the greats. Elvis. Englebert. Elton. She's a great music lover. But as soon as you started to sing, this beautiful young head of her's was fit to explode from the sheer agony you exposed it to. Todd was ready to come out there and kick your ass himself...but, you know how bad his neck has been. Besides...the plan was already in motion." Clearly pleased with himself, Landon can't stiffle another laugh. "It was already decided that I'd take that steel chair and crack it upside your head. Incase you haven't realised Alan...it's not just about guitars and singing. It's about you Alan. I watched your match with HVT and you showed me something. Intensity. Passion. That fire that I haven't seen in you for months. Last time I saw that..." A solemn look comes over Maddix, as he shakes his head. "...you were beating the hell out of my Todd around about Christmas time. I saw that fire, and I saw Alan Clark...formerly Bloodshed...intense. Then, you come out on Lockdown and start playing sing-along, and I see the Alan Clark that keeps coming back to haunt me. The goofy Alan Clark. You're sitting around singing songs...before it was standing around singing the praises of a bunch of cartoon mice. If you're not 'Mr Disney' Alan Clark, you're playing Honky Tonk Clark strumming on your little guitar. And yet, despite all this...you...are the Cruiserweight Champion!?! You get a shot at Coy West for the USJL title on Lockdown to boot. You fall on your head and knock yourself out...but then, the very next show...you get another shot!?! Yet I beat Charlie Matthews twice, and what singles recognition do I get? Nothing. Squat. I haven't had a singles title shot since Wildchild was the Cruiserweight Champion. I should be the World Heavyweight Champion for crying out loud. I'm stuck proving myself and Todd as the world's finest tag team...which is already common knowledge anyway. And it disgusts me when a man like you acts the way that you do, and gets more opportunities at fame and fortune than a man who's beating the supposed number one in the company week in and week out." "It's ridiculous." Megan agrees. "More than that...it's Un-Toddly. See, by Todd's rule, you should be long gone by now Clark. I'm sick to death of you. Todd is sick to death of you. Megan is sick to death of you. We thought we'd broken you down months ago...just as we did to Spike Jenkins. Just as we did to Jacob Helmsley. Just as we did to Dominic Korgath. We broke their spirits. And where are they now? I'll tell you where they are...WHERE YOU SHOULD BE!!! On the SCRAPHEAP!!!" Suddenly showing a good deal of fury on his face, Landon begins to angrily toss the guitar from hand to hand by the handle, glaring forwards all the while. "Face the facts Clark...everytime you and me come up against each other, you end up on the wrong end of a beating. But more so...everytime we fight, and you're holding a belt around your waist...by the time the dust has settled, they're taking your nameplate off the gold, and putting on the name of Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix! This is a fight you can't win, and won't win. Wherever you go, you had better be aware of your surroundings...you thought having Thugg tracking your ass down around the country makes you parranoid? Thugg is just one man. Where as before you had to ask 'where's Thugg', now you've got to ask 'where's Landon'...'where's Todd'...'where's John'...'where's Megan'. When you're parking your old '72 Chevy in the parking lot...keep your eyes open. When you go to the mall to chat up the fiteen year old rock chicks in their training bras...keep your wits about you. When you go buy the grease for your hair...stay awake. And when you take the trip down to the music store to get yourself...well..." Another smug grin fills Landon's face... "...I presume, now, a new guitar...you'd better keep your wits about you, because you've got four people looking to hunt you down and put you on that scrapheap. Speaking...of course, of that guitar...I've got a question for you Alan. "How much wood can a woodchip chip...if a woodchip could chip wood?" Finally Landon leaves his standing place against the wall, and with the smug look still etched on his face struts over to a nearby open door...behind which, surprise surprise, is a large woodchipper. Holding the guitar in camera view, Landon motions his head towards the inside of the building and more specifically the rumbling machine. "I'll answer that for you Alan, my friend. A lot. This baby here can cut up forest like amounts of wood...or whatever you happen to want chipped. It can turn trees in sawdust in a matter of minutes...so this here 'gee-taarr' of yours doesn't really stand much of a chance now does it. I really hope this little instrument hasn't got any sentimental value Clark...because you see, if it has...prepare to say goodbye to it." Both Landon and the copying Megan laugh heartily, before Landon passes the instrument to his 'good lady friend' and nods. She quickly scuttles off into the building and moments later, the sound of the woodchipper doing it's 'thang' reverburates out from behind Landon. Grimacing slightly at the sound, Landon waits a few seconds for the noise to die down before continuing. "Good luck in your match Alan. I really, truly hope you take that USJL title from 'Like A Rhinestone Cowboy'...because once you do, I'll be able to take two titles off of you rather than just one...which, ironically, wouldn't be the first time, now would it? By the time you see me next...me and Todd will have defeated Inspector Gadget and his Ass-tafarian side-kick, and will have the Tag Team Titles sitting proudly on the Unnamed mantlepiece. And after that...there'll be nothing in the world to stop me from kicking your ass and taking your Cruiserweight Title. I'll see you very soon Clark...very soon...indeed...so you'd better Prepare For Landon." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hank Kingsley 0 Report post Posted March 20, 2004 I'll never live that down, will I? Anyway, good promo, Landon. Now go and win those damn tag titles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted March 20, 2004 Nice promo indeed. "Inspector Gadget"... like it. Plus Clark's guitar needs to be destroyed. He likes Bon Jovi. ACOUSTIC Bon Jovi, no less... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted March 20, 2004 ... Good thing I have ALOT of guitars laying around. ---------- You Did Not Just Say That~ Win/Loss Record: 7-1. See how I crush your perfect record. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2004 ... Anyway, good promo, Landon. Now go and win those damn tag titles. Uhh... no. "Ass-tafarian," indeed; just for that, I'm going to have to hurt you real, real, REAL bad... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toxxic 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2004 Uhh... no. "Ass-tafarian," indeed; just for that, I'm going to have to hurt you real, real, REAL bad... You know WC, you should really be following Austin's example and putting over new talent as you're one your way out... *ducks* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. S£im Citrus 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2004 I'm not on my way out yet; I might be able to write until May, and I'm not ready to lay down just now... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Secret Agent 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2004 Yeah... he'll lay down for Johnny first. Okay, so maybe he won't but still, the cockroah shall be squashed before he ever gets to Clark. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
King Cucaracha 0 Report post Posted March 21, 2004 Speak up WC...I can't hear you past that glass ceiling you're standing on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
