FUSIENT BUYS WCW!

[Hank Kingsley 0]

You know how Vince and the WWF bought the floundering WCW in early 2001? You know the crappy inVasion that followed and the subsequent misuse of WCW talent in the WWF? Well, pretend all of that didn't happen. Pretend WCW thought that they were on the outs after the Night of Champions. On March 31, though, Fusinet Media and Eric Bischoff pull a POWERPLAY~ and steal WCW right from under Vince's nose! Some may have thought it was an April Fools' joke, but WCW blasted back to life on April 1, 2001, and all was well in the world!

 

Promotion stats (done to the best of my knowledge of the time period):

 

Global, 15% public image

$40,000,000 starting money

Risk: 40%, Production: 100% (though it may not seem like it sometimes)

Merchandising: 85%, Advertising 95%

 

Roster

 

Main Event

 

Booker T (F)

??? (F)

 

Scott Steiner (H)

Jeff Jarrett (H)

 

Upper Midcard

 

Dustin Rhodes (F)

??? (F)

Rey Mysterio Jr. (F)

 

Shane Douglas (T)

 

Animal (H)

Chavo Guerrero Jr. (H)

Lance Storm (H)

Rick Steiner (H)

 

Midcard

 

Bam Bam Bigelow (F)

Big Vito (F)

Billy Kidman (F)

Chuck Palumbo (F)

Konnan (F)

Sean O'Haire (F)

Sugar Shane Helms (F)

The Cat (F)

Tommy Dreamer (F) -- a new acquisition after the fall of ECW

 

Crowbar (T)

Kid Romeo (T)

 

Alex Wright (H)

Buff Bagwell (H)

Disqo (H)

Elix Skipper (H)

Kanyon (H)

Lex Luger (H) !

Mike Awesome (H)

 

Lower Midcard

 

Jamie Knoble (F)

Jason Jett (F)

Kwee Wee (F)

Shannon Moore (F)

Vladimir Romanov (F) -- I think this is just a created guy, but he has a good brawling stat and a cool gimmick, so I picked him up.

 

Kaz Hayashi (T)

 

Johnny Swinger (H)

Johnny the Bull (H)

Kid Kash (H)

Mark Jindrak (H)

Reno (H)

Shawn Stasiak (H)

Xavier (H)

 

Openers

 

Jimmy Yang (T)

 

Evan Karagias (H)

 

Managers

 

Torrie Wilson (F) -- Currently managing nobody

 

Stacy Keibler (T) -- Currently managing Shawn Stasiak & Mark Jindrak

 

Mike Sanders (H) -- Currently managing nobody

 

Non-wrestlers

 

Dusty Rhodes (F)

 

Eric Bischoff (H)

Ric Flair (H)

 

Developmental Deals

 

Air Paris (F)

AJ Styles (F)

Alex Shelley (F)

Chad Collyer (F)

Paul London (F)

Ricky Marvin (F)

Super Dragon (F)

 

Jonny C (H)

Kevin Northcutt (H)

The Idol (H)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

So the intro's out of the way. Anyway, I have the first two shows done already, and Spring Stampede is on April 15th, 2001. Expect results from the first week of Nitro and Thunder later today~

[Guest Corino 1000]

It sounds good so far. Hopefully your shows are good too.........//cough//cough// read my roh....

[Zack Malibu 0]

It's Fusient, not Fusinet, heh. Want me to fix that for ya?

[Hank Kingsley 0]

really? stupid google. That'd be helpful, Zack.

[Zack Malibu 0]

All set little brother.

[Red Baron 0]

What ever happened to Mike Sanders

[Hank Kingsley 0]

WCW NITRO!

April 3, 2001

Live from Anchorage, Alaska! No, seriously!

 

That's right, in another POWERPLAY~ move, Eric Bischoff negotiated with TNT to move Nitro to Tuesdays nights, thus not having to compete with the much more prosperous WWF. Your hosts are the man, Tony Schiavone, and Scott Hudson. Both guys mope about being in Alaska during their Spring Breakout tour, but I'm running the show now, buster. Let's get down to business!

 

Say, why are we showing 2001: A Space Odyssey instead of wre...oh, right, it's WCW CEO (and Dark Lord of the Sith) Ric Flair. He walks with a PURPOSE tonight. Of course, the guy gets so incoherent sometimes it's difficult to decipher what he's talking about. The basic gist of it is, this is a NEW WCW and boy are there going to be some changes. Of course, he doesn't reveal them. Oh, and Booker T won't have that World Title for long, because Scott Steiner's going to come back and kick his ass for it. Meet the new boss, same as the old boss. (100%)

 

Jamie Knoble vs. WCW Cruiserweight Tag Team Champion Billy Kidman

 

Tony SPECULATES~ that the winner of this match could earn a shot at champion Shane Helms sometimes in the future. Hmmm...anyway, this is the match of the night, and yes, I am saying this AFTER the show is over. No hyperbole from me, no sir. BEST MATCH EVER! Knoble keeps Kidman grounded for the majority of the match (no dessert, go to your room!), but Billy fights out, hits some signature spots, and goes up top for the Shooting Star Press. Then it all goes wrong. Knoble gets up, introduces Kidman's genitals to the turnbuckle, and goes up with him...TOMBSTONE FROM THE SECOND ROPE! GREATEST MOVE EV-oh, right, no hyperbole. So, that gets the pin in 9:42 and Knoble "just may" get a shot at Helms in the future. And hey, the ref helps Kidman to his feet, and Billy has the GALL to shake Jamie's hand! WTF is this, sportsmanship? I guess Kidman doesn't care about his testicles that much.

 

Winner: Jamie Knoble (73, 62, 84, **3/4)

 

(Commercials! Yes, they are the GREATEST SPONSORS EVER!)

 

Jamie Knoble? Uh, didn't we just see him? Anyway, he's nursing his wounds after the breathtaking match, and who should appear but SUGAR SHANE HELMS?! GREATEST CRUISERWEIGHT C...screw it. Anyway, Helms is all "Awesome job, man, you put on a jolly good show." And Knoble's all stoic nodding and then he's all "Don't get comfortable with that belt, boyo" and Helms laughs and they share a bowl of Lucky Charms. What, the NEW WCW can't even provide enought General Mills products to keep everyone fed? Blasphemous. (75%)

 

What, you expected a match? No, silly, now it's time to show off what our Production crew gets paid for! So, here's a video for the hottest tag team EVER (YES, HYPERBOLE NEEDED IN THIS CASE), Sean O'Haire and Chuck Palumbo. Here's them beating Team Canada, and Totally Buff, and other teams you're supposed to care about! (77%)

 

WCW World Tag Team Champion Chuck Palumbo vs. (Road Warrior) Animal

 

Oh, so THAT'S the reason we saw that video. Hudson says that Ric Flair has BARRED~ Sean O'Haire from ringside. This match is about as good as one would expect it to be. In as few words as possible, methodical. Few power moves from Animal, few from Palumbo, Jungle Kick, no, here's Rick Steiner to distract the blind ref. I guess he wasn't barred from ringside. Anyway, Animal's up, clothesline, Powerbomb, see ya, Chucky at 5:36. Post-match, HEEEEEEEEERE'S Sean O'Haire and all hell breaks loose, enough hell to BURN ALASKA~ or something like that. I guess we have our tag team of the month, folks.

 

Winner: Animal (71, 73, 67, *1/4)

 

(Buy Hot Pockets!)

 

Hey, it's Booker T, looking nappier than ever and almost NAKED~ with those two belts around his waist. "He must have a match!" Tony proclaims, which means he probably doesn't. And hey, what do you know, that's Scott Steiner's music! Booker's all "you're crampin my flow, dog" and Steiner's all "listen!" and he challenges Booker to a title match...at SPRING STAMPEDE! Booker says okay...in a NO ESCAPE CAGE MATCH! and Steiner says...FOR THE LAST TIME EVER! and I said...THAT'S JUST TO GET MORE BUYRATES! And everyone agrees. (79%)

 

But wait, it looks like Schiavone was right! Booker has a match with that crazay Canuck!

 

United States Championship: Lance Storm vs. Booker T ©

 

This COULD'VE been match of the night, says I, if it wasn't for that damn finish! These two are cruising along just fine past the 10 minute mark, with Storm controlling the majority with his exciting techincal flair. Booker swings with, of all things, a discus punch, but Lance ducks and Booker hits the ref. Well, crap, you know what happens next. Lo and behold, Scott Steiner comes back to the ring, chair in hand. Booker intercepts him, though, takes the chair, and nails him with the Axe Kick! Storm is about to swing at Booker, but sees the ref getting up, and plays dead! My god, Mickey Jay sees Lance down and Booker holding a chair, and calls for the bell at 14:02! I haven't seen a screwjob like that since "The Accidental Stripper" on cinemax!

 

Winner: Lance Storm by DQ (82, 86, 75, **1/2)

 

(You WANT the Hot Pockets!)

 

"Primetime" Elix Skipper & Kid Romeo vs. Chavo Guerrero Jr. and...Crowbar

 

According to Scott Hudson, after Chavo's recent Cruiserweight Title loss, he's been craving gold, so he's going to go for the CRUISERWEIGHT TAG~ gold, and he's picked an...unlikely partner. Solid match here, nothing to write home about, but really, who writes home about wrestling matches anyway? Romeo flops around like a fish for a while, Skipper gets gangbustered, and Double C lift Romeo up for a Double Brainbuster for the pin at 7:12. I guess Kidman and Mysterio have something to worry about! Maybe.

 

Winners: Chavo Guerrero & Crowbar (75, 72, 79, **1/2)

 

We head backstage...yes, it's the return of the Buff Cam! But really, it has nothing to do with Buff. Flair is in his office, and in walks Lance Storm! Flair congratulates Storm for his clean, decisive victory over Booker T...and gives him the match to actually WIN the Title...at Spring Stampede. "Wait," Storm thinks, "Doesn't Book already have a match against Steiner at Spring Stampede?" "Exactly!" Flair says. Oh, that evil bastard. Storm winks in disbelief. (89%)

 

(You NEED the Hot Pockets!)

 

It must be a main event interview, because Jeff Jarrett is out here! He's all uber-pissed (Hey, did you know "goober" in Pig Latin is uber-gay?) and says since he's beaten EVERYONE and stuff, he's laying out an OPEN CHALLENGE! Those NEVER~ work out well. Some Ultimate Fighter music hits...oh no, it's KEN F'N SHAMROCK! Jarrett looks like, well, a goober, and is all "oh crap!" I guess we have a main event match!(87%)

 

J E DOUBLE F HA HA J A DOUBLE R HA HA E DOUBLE T HA HA vs. Ken Shamrock

 

This is WCW, and we blow possible "money" (note the quotation marks) matches on free TV! "...or do we?" wonders Schiavone, after reading my mind. Pretty solid match here (the theme of the night), with Shamrock dominating...hey, that's the ankle lock! "That's his move!" Tony proclaims. Jarrett makes the ropes, and tumbles outside! What a little shit, he's just sitting outside the ring! He's getting counted out! What a bastard! That's just not right! Shamrock gets the easy way out in 10:41 and he does NOT look happy! See, ha ha, you'll just have to buy the PPV to see these two fight it out conclusively! ...oh, was that a spoiler?

 

Winner: Ken Shamrock (81, 84, 75, **1/2)

 

"THAT WAS THE GREATEST MAIN EVENT IN THIS HISTORY OF THE NEW WCW!" Tony shouts, and for once, we can't argue.

 

Overall: 80.

 

Well, things certainly went well with that. Feedback would be neato.

[SamoaRowe 0]

I like the way your shows are set up, as far as structure and how matches are written out. If I had more time, I would like to do the same with my diary, but in the meantime I'm stuck copying and pasting EWR match results

[Guest Real F'n Show]

Cool this is awesome so far, keep it up. Check mine out if you ever get the time.

[King Cucaracha 0]

Looking good Graps. Nice to see you bringing teh comedy too, as you should with something as ripe for humour as WCW 2001.