Hippies.

[Guest Fire and Knives]

So I go down to St. Mary's College for an open mic night. It's one of the better liberal arts schools in the country, so I think hey, this can't be totally awful. There's bound to be somebody there that knows what the hell they're talking about.

 

Wrong. There is nobody there that knows what the hell they're talking about.

 

There's a bunch of goddamned motherfucking hippies.

 

Ugly motherfuckers with unwashed hair and stupid-ass wish-I-knew-shit-about-politics t-shirts and goddamn motherfucking Birkenstocks everywhere reading each other some of the worst poetry I've ever heard in my entire fucking life. The shit these people expect me to take seriously is totally unbelieveable. Faux-goth Linkin Park fans that write about how the cool kids don't like them and they want to kill everybody have a leg up on the things these people write.

 

One girl explained to us the signficance of the African cultural taboos regarding the Western idea of dating and lectured about how Ramadan fell during the hottest month of the year while she was there on her little student-learning field trip, so she wrote this really bad poem about Africans having sex. That's what I wanted to start the evening off with - a nerdy-ass white girl telling me what Africa is like. You are not an ambassador based on two weeks overseas and whatever stupid book you read. There's a difference betweening appreciating the culture and embarassing the fuck out of yourself.

 

Another girl read us a poem about some advanced genetics concept that took more of her time than the poem. This girl died a slow death in front of about seventy-five people as she got all worked up over something that nobody else in the room was even going to pretend to care about. Then the short, pudgy, creepy girl read an Anne Sexton poem about masturbation. As my girlfriend so aptly described the situation, "You have to be hot to read that. She is creepy. She should not read that."

 

Then we had the druggie hippie asshole read a poem about reflecting on energy, opening your mind, and Arnold Scwharzeneger (I don't know how it's spelled and I'm not looking it up). What I gathered from this poem was: a) dude was gay, b) dude did a lot of psychedelics, and c) dude thought his own poetry was totally rad, man.

 

There was a lot of really boring shit that I missed because I started playing with my cell phone instead of listening to all the horseshit about trees and rivers and a bunch of stupid fucking nonsense about Palestine (I say 'stupid fucking nonsense' because anything written by a college student in St. Mary's County about a foreign goddamn country cannot be anything other than stupid fucking nonsense, ever).

 

We left about an hour early.

 

I hate fucking hippies.

 

K.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I'm glad someone is brave enough to take a stand against this horrible menace.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

I walk into the local Coffee House on Open Mic night and pull the plug on their instruments. They were fools for having the outlets conveniantly set up near the entrance/exit. I figure I'm doing my city a service.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

It's one of the better liberal arts schools in the country

 

No such thing as a good liberal arts school, son...

[MrRant 0]

Isn't your Journalism degree considered a "liberal art?"

[Mik 0]

I agree totally. I have no strong feeling about politics, but I'm leading towards Republican tendencies because I just hate hippies.

 

Tell me, what exactly can one (or 30 for that matter) dirty ass hippy accomplish by standing in the rain holding a sign in the middle of November in Ithaca, NY? I mean, shit, yeah there's an Ivy League school here, but no one gives a FUCK.

 

I hate hippies... so much.

[Guest Anglesault]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road. And they know I'll do it.

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Tell me, what exactly can one (or 30 for that matter) dirty ass hippy accomplish by standing in the rain holding a sign in the middle of November in Ithaca, NY? I mean, shit, yeah there's an Ivy League school here, but no one gives a FUCK.

Why does everything go back to ivy League schools?

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road.

I feel the same way about wrestling fans. Let's make out.

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

I like spinning my tires in the Frathouse lawns.

[Guest Anglesault]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road.

I feel the same way about wrestling fans.

So do I.

 

Wrestling fans scare me.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Isn't your Journalism degree considered a "liberal art?"

Probably, which is why I can attest to what I said in my previous post.

 

I wipe my ass with my school's alumni donation letters (which, sadly, haven't been mailed to me in quite some time.)..

[nl5xsk1 0]

Young hippies don't really exist anymore ... the hippy scene and the skater/raver scene kind of blended together to create just a messy, baggy pants and crooked hat wearing army of idiots. I luckily escaped Colorado and that whole scene just before the dam burst.

 

The people described sound more emo than hippy.

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

Young hippies don't really exist anymore ...

I think "hippie" has spawned different meanings, much like the "n" word's evolution. Personally, I use the "h" word as a general insult more than anything nowadays...

[Guest Dids]

Those people aren't hippies, my parents were hippies. Those are poser jackasses.

 

Open mic nights are dangerous.

[Guest Mosaicv2]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road. And they know I'll do it.

Finally... an Anglesault that I like

[justsoyouknow 0]

"Punks" are the new hippies.

[Guest Anglesault]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road. And they know I'll do it.

Finally... an Anglesault that I like

What?

 

Who the hell are you?

[Guest FrigidSoul]

I thought Punks were the Hippies of the 80s. Aren't Emo kids the new hippies?

[Guest Vitamin X]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road.

I feel the same way about wrestling fans.

So do I.

 

Wrestling fans scare me.

So says the man named after a wrestling finisher and the wrestlers in his sig.

[justsoyouknow 0]

I thought Punks were the Hippies of the 80s. Aren't Emo kids the new hippies?

You misunderstood. I said "punks", not punks.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road.

I feel the same way about wrestling fans.

So do I.

 

Wrestling fans scare me.

So says the man named after a wrestling finisher and the wrestlers in his sig.

And he's like 35 or something. Suicide's the only option, really.

[Guest Anglesault]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road.

I feel the same way about wrestling fans.

So do I.

 

Wrestling fans scare me.

So says the man named after a wrestling finisher and the wrestlers in his sig.

Do you have a point?

 

Wrestling fans, as a whole, myself included, are scary.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I like to threaten to run their asses over if they demonstrate anywhere near the road.

I feel the same way about wrestling fans.

So do I.

 

Wrestling fans scare me.

So says the man named after a wrestling finisher and the wrestlers in his sig.

Do you have a point?

 

Wrestling fans, as a whole, myself included, are scary.

I was just noting the (I assume) intended irony. That's all.