The Czech Republic 0 Report post Posted May 23, 2004 I was just looking at an old globe and apparently there used to be a country between Mongolia and Russia called "Tannu Tuva." Sounded like an interesting word, sort of like "Zoroastrianism." And then I figured, if some guy can found a briefly successful religion that included drinking bull piss, what's stopping me? Granted, the spread of Islam to Persia and Armenia killed it dead, save for part of present-day Bombay, India, but hey, it's worth a shot. I figured I have some ideas. Look at L. Ron Hubbard. He made up a bunch of crap about how aliens invaded the earth which cause us to have negative thoughts, which can only be purged and dispelled through buying a series of even wackier books and donating money to the church. That's the biggest bunch of malarkey I've ever heard, and Tom Cruise lives by this! So what do I have to do? Get my ideas streamlined, and then take the big risky step of declaring myself a prophet? I mean, once you do that, you've crossed the Rubicon. If you're wrong, you're going to hell. If not, you win! I don't know what I'm going for with this. But I'll jsut keep going. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
razazteca 0 Report post Posted May 23, 2004 Your cult has no followers. You are a false profit. You're going to hell. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Agent of Oblivion Report post Posted May 23, 2004 You need a hook, and a proper target audience. The rest does itself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cran Da Maniac 0 Report post Posted May 24, 2004 Make sure you have lots of catchy chants Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest MikeSC Report post Posted May 24, 2004 Avoid the whole mass suicide thing. Tends to harm enrollment. And celibacy is probably bad. Always remind them that to give to the church makes god happy. -=Mike Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Fire and Knives Report post Posted May 24, 2004 This has been done much, much better than you're going to do it. K. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest netslob Report post Posted May 24, 2004 hell, you couldn't do any worse then any of the existing religions. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Salacious Crumb Report post Posted May 24, 2004 You have to make it trendy like scientology then a bunch of celebrities will flock to it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
1234-5678 0 Report post Posted May 25, 2004 Do it up like David Koresh where you get to bang all the broads so you can "spread the Messiah's seed." Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dynamite Kido Report post Posted May 25, 2004 Do it up like David Koresh where you get to bang all the broads so you can "spread the Messiah's seed." that's right. remember, if you can't use religion to get pussy, what can you use............ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest croweater Report post Posted May 26, 2004 Date rape drugs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dynamite Kido Report post Posted May 27, 2004 Date rape drugs. Meh, that's the same as religion anyway...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest croweater Report post Posted May 27, 2004 Everyday priests give wine to teenagers, kids, minors, everyone! But Michael Jackson give's one little drip to a boy, in the privacy of his own home and everyone's all "He's a molester......... he's a chiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllllllllllddddddddddddddddd molester" [/Michael Jackson mark and random Tom Green quote mode] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
