If someone wanted to dispose of a body,

[cynicalprofit 0]

Let's say in theory, you have a 284 lbs deaceased male in your aparment, approximately 3 hours old, poisoned to death, and you need to get rid of it fast. What would one do?

[The Czech Republic 0]

Well since he's poisoned, cooking and eating is out of the question.

 

It's an apartment so I don't know if there's a fireplace to burn it.

 

It's a tie between cooking and tossing out a window for me.

 

 

WHY DID I PARTICIPATE IN THIS THREAD

[spiny norman 0]

I'd wait for an ambulance to show up to treat my gunshot wound and in the meantime come on TSM so as to entertain myself during the wait.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

The Woodchipper in Fargo seemed to work quite well

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Take the body into the bathroom and cut it up in the shower. After you bag it up, you can do whatever the fuck you want with it.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

The blood stains the porcelain of the bath tub you know.

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

Run the water.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

It still stains if the body hasn't been dead for long. You cut up a freshly dead corpse and there's going to be pints upon pints of blood. Watch Forensic Files, a guy got caught because he cut the body up in the bath tub, it stained the tub, and he had to buy a new tub.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Dump it in the ocean. If you happen to live in a state that doesn't border one, bury it in your neighbors yard in the middle of the night. If you do the seocnd method, make sure to borrow a garbage bag from them, so the neighbors prints are on it, while you handle it with gloves.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I think if you have a fireplace available, jsut burn it.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

Do you know how horrible it'll smell if you burn it in the fireplace. That'll give you away real quick.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

I think if you have a fireplace available, jsut burn it.

Hopefully, it doesn't cause the dead to rise...(for information, watch Return of the Living Dead)

[Guest pinnacleofallthingsmanly]

You would need a big ass fireplace to burn a 300 pound body.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

For the ocean thing to work you would have to have a nice boat. Not only that but you would have to drive said boat at least 2hrs away from land and make sure whatever you're disgarding the body in has weights attatched to it so the body doesn't wash up with the tide. Sure the salts and little fish will nibble at it, but it could still reach land if not done properly.

 

Your neighbors better have a poor history with the victim, otherwise you're fucked. They say they loaned the bag to you, they find your fingerprints on the corpse, and you're fucked.

 

Again, finding criminal psychology and forensics interesting I've often thought of what would be the perfect murder. Only thing I could come up with was owning a large lot of land, having a woodchipper, throwing portions of the body into the woodchipper with branches and shit(the sawdust will help soak up the blood). From there you just clean the blades in a normal fashion. Just make sure when you're woodchipping the body that you move the woodchipper while doing so. That way it all spreads out real thin.

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Damn FS just proved everything I would do would still get me caught. This is tougher than I thought...

 

I got it! Put a bomb on the persons car and kaboom! Detonate it.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

You can't just buy a bomb. Most likely you would make a pipe bomb and connect it to the car's battery so when they hit the ignition it detonated, still you would get caught. Parts of that Pipe Bomb aren't going to be destroyed and infact they can take the size of some of the nuts used to make it to see where they would match-up. From there they test them to see which are carbon copies(this is another thing that happened of Forensics files actually) and find out where they were shipped to. Well if you so happened to buy the materials at the hardware store parts of the bomb were made from, along with having motive they've got ya.

 

The guy that used a pipe-bomb on somebody thought he was in the clear because he lived like 5 states away and had never been to the state the pipe-bomb was sent to. Not to mention he mailed it in a different state than where he lived and under a false name. They just matched shit they found at the crime scene with leftover materials at his house along with other shit and now he's serving a life sentence.

 

Its really not easy to murder somebody in this day and age if you have motive. That's why serial killers are scarier. They have no real motives, its just an urge or an addiction if you will. Due to having no motive or not knowing their victims its hard to match them up with cases and find them.

[razazteca 0]

Cut it up and flush the parts down the toilet just like Kids in the Hall.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

If what Bricktop from Snatch said is correct, fed it to a lot of pigs, remembering to shave the hair and pull out the teeth beforehand.

 

Other than that, uh, put it in a vat of Coke, since that stuff can disolved nails, and can be used to remove bloodstains on highways and such...

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

EDITED: I don't feel comfortable about writing something like that now that I think about it.

[Guest Salacious Crumb]

The trick is that you have to make it look like an accident or suicide. So you have few options. Electricution is probably your best bet at the end of the day but you'll have to be damn good at wiring to make sure it doesn't look like you tampered with anything. The only other semi-reliable way is to either blow up/burn down the apartment with them in it. But again this is a tricky area as you have to know exactly how to do it without getting caught. And we're talking subtile things where you have to hope it gives you the desired result. None of this pipebomb bullshit (post-9/11 you'll get investigated for buying the materials to make bombs).

 

I'm going to go take a shower now because I feel really disturbed by what I just wrote.

[Guest MikeSC]

Like I'll willingly become an accomplice in all of this.

 

Oh wait, I just did, didn't I?

 

Damn.

-=Mike

[Guest FrigidSoul]

EDITED: I don't feel comfortable about writing something like that now that I think about it.

Don't be a pussy, put it back up. You think talking about this is bad but you used a picture of Rob Lowe to represent your e-fed character...go think about this.

[Guest MikeSC]

EDITED: I don't feel comfortable about writing something like that now that I think about it.

Don't be a pussy, put it back up. You think talking about this is bad but you used a picture of Rob Lowe to represent your e-fed character...go think about this.

I say throw it in the front yard of somebody you hate. Then call the police and blame them for the crime.

 

**looks out front window**

**sees a car pulling up, tossing a huge bundle onto my front yard**

**sees a wealth of police cars pulling up**

 

Damn.

-=Mike

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

EDITED: I don't feel comfortable about writing something like that now that I think about it.

Don't be a pussy, put it back up. You think talking about this is bad but you used a picture of Rob Lowe to represent your e-fed character...go think about this.

I didn't use Rob Lowe as my efed character. It was Christian Kane and that was only because the character was somewhat based off his character from Angel

 

I just don't want some fed coming to my door after someone drops a body in a missile silo and saying, "did you write this on this board?"

[Guest FrigidSoul]

It sure looks like Rob Lowe.

 

Your missle silo idea is no good though since the body would be found fairly quickly.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

It sure looks like Rob Lowe.

 

Your missle silo idea is no good though since the body would be found fairly quickly.

I was talking about the abandoned ones outside where I used to live. Unless someone is planning on pumping the water out of the bottom it could lie there for years.

[Guest FrigidSoul]

If they held missiles I'm sure MPOs come and check on them from time to time. Often enough where the body wouldn't decay enough to go unnoticed(since they float). They'll stop using shit but they don't want anybody else using it.

[LaParkaYourCar 0]

I'm not sure if they check these because I've been in a few and they're pretty trashed. Weigh the body down and drop it and who knows.

 

I know a guy who bought one and has been fixing it up to make a scuba diving tank and then turn the control center into a museum with a convention center type place for dinners and such. It's pretty cool, but even he hasn't drained the water out of the bottom of the tank area and we're all anxious to see what he finds.

 

In fact Here's his webpage

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Explain the massive amount of blood from the skinning and chopping....

[Guest Man Of 1,004 Modes]

Sadly, I don't think even I am dumb enough to believe that story if I came by to inspect the area and saw blood everywhere.