SWF Smarkdown!

[the.weej 0]

Card:

 

OPENING ONSLAUGHT~!

Tryst vs. Munich

 

FOLLOW-UP FRAY~!

David Blazenwing vs. Insane Luchadore

 

FOUR-WAY ELIMINATION NO-DQ WACKINESS FOR THE CRUISERWEIGHT TITLE NO. 1 CONTENDERSHIP~!

Crow vs. “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins vs. Jimmy “The Demon” Liston vs. Todd Cortez

 

MYSTERIOUS MAN CONTINUES TRAIL OF DEATH… OR DOES HE~!?

“Deathwish” Danny Williams vs. Masked Man

 

IMMEDIATE TITLE SHOT CASH-IN OF DOOM FOR THE ICTV TITLE~!

Janus vs. Johnny Dangerous

 

MAIN EVENT SIX-MAN MADNESS~!

Toxxic, Tom Flesher, and Ace Lezaire vs. Nathanial Kibagami, Dace Night, and Ryan Dustin

[the.weej 0]

SWF Smarkdown comes back to air in the extremely SWF friendly Gund Arena, in Cleveland, Ohio. And without delay, the next match is ready to commence. As the lights blacken out, the crowd drops to a dead silence and their eyes are drawn to the entry way, where a deep green spotlight shines down from above. The Smarktron comes to life, the video running through a lush green forest at great speeds, finally stopping about 20 feet in front of a man, wielding a bow and arrow. He pulls the arrow back, releases, and as it reaches the screen, pyrotechnics on the opposite wall explode as ““Forest”” by System of a Down blasts across the loud speakers, and the sleeping crowd comes back to life as Tristan Whitt, also known as Tryst, comes rushing out of the back to stand within the spotlight, Bow in one hand, arrow in the other. Funyon is ready for the introductions

 

Funyon: Tonight’s opening contest is scheduled for one fall. Making his way to ring, from Bairnsdale, Britain, Tryst!!

 

Comet: We have not seen the talented Citizen Tryst for quite a while, Citizen Riley.

 

Riley: I believe he has been back in Britain trying to overthrow Tony Blair from power so that King Richard can make his long awaited return to the throne. As you know, the Crusades came to an end several hundred years ago, and Tryst continues to wait for Richard’s return.

 

Comet: Citizen King Richard is an ageless legend, and his leadership skills are greatly needed across the pond. Hey, wait a minute…

 

Making his way down the ramp, Tryst takes off his quiver of arrows and hands it to the timekeeper, along with his bow as he rolls into the ring and soaks in the cheers from the rhapsodic crowd. The lights fade back up to normal, and he awaits his opponent, the recently returning Munich.

 

Comet: Citizen Riley, why do you speak such nonsense?

 

Riley: I thought it would be good for a laugh.

 

“Gimme Shelter” kicks up on the PA, drawing a large positive response from the crowd, showing that Lockdown’s crowd reaction had some standing to it. Munich does his new routine, walking out onto the platform, black t-shirt containing a pack of Marlboro 27s, Munich’s current favorite cigarette. After lovingly placing the pack of smokes on the ramp, Munich, with a small band aid covering a healing wound from his match against David Blazenwing, rips off the t-shirt on drapes it on the ramp. Finally, he walks down the ramp. Funyon is once again ready with the introduction.

 

Funyon: His opponent, from Dallas, Texas, Munich!!

 

Comet: Citizen Munich returned last week on Lockdown in grand style, defeating the formidable David Blazenwing in one on one action. Munich struggled greatly in the early going, but was able to pull it together and pick up a win. Citizen Riley, anything you would like to add?

 

Riley: Maybe he still belongs.

 

Munich takes a brisk walk to the ring, allowing the fans to not get tired with his entrance too quickly. After sliding under the bottom ring rope, he goes about doing some warm up exercises, most of them focusing on his lower half. Senior referee Mathew Kivell checks both wrestlers for foreign objects, and then asks the timekeeper to start up the match.

 

*DINGDINGDING!!*

 

The crowd roars, and then drops to their seats, as they hunker down for a night of action. Munich and Tryst circle the ring, looking at possible weaknesses and thinking up new strategies. Finally, Agent 27 and The Sherwood Fable lock up. The two men battle for a moment, until Munich takes control, and backs Tryst up into a far corner. Munich continues to push, until referee Kivell has to separate the two men. After the break, the former SJL World Champion Munich delivers a quick boot to the midsection of Tryst, doubling him over. With Tryst’s head down, the larger man takes advantage and delivers a solid European uppercut, snapping Tryst’s head back into the turnbuckle. The Sherwood Fable shakes it off, though. He fires back with a quick right hand, sending Munich the center of the ring. Tryst fires off another one, sending Munich back even more. Tristan grabs a hold of Munich’s arm, and attempts a whip to the far ropes, but it is reversed, and Tryst is instead sent across the ring. The big Texan waits in the middle of the ring, poised to lay some punishment on Tryst. On his return, Tryst leaps high into the air at Munich, and is able to put both legs together behind his opponent’s skull. The Sherwood Fable contorts his body, and spins both he and Munich, looking to hit a running hurricanrana. Munich is able to use his strength, however, and stop himself from flying across the ring, as he grabs a hold of both legs just before Tryst reaches the ground. This elicits a pop from the sold out Cleveland crowd. Munich drags his adversary a few feet to the nearby ropes, and quickly falls to his back, trying to slingshot the smaller man out of the ring. Tryst goes flying over the top rope, but is able to grab the rope with both hands on the way over. He hangs by the ropes for a moment, before quickly skinning the cat and climbing back into the ring! He quickly gets into a defensive position before Munich can make a charge. The two men exchange a competitive stare, as the crowd cheers from the athleticism displayed.

 

Comet: What a great start to this match! Beauty like that makes me want that SWF World Title around my waist.

 

Riley: You just keep dreaming, you spandex loving freak. Munich is surprising off to a nice start, as his face has not been planted into the canvas or floor yet.

 

After the two men circle the ring once more, a test of strength is brought out of its temporary slumber. Just as both of their hands interlace, Tryst fires off a quick kick to the gut, not letting Munich gain an advantage with his superior strength. Tryst returns the favor from earlier, hitting his own European uppercut on Munich. This one has some major stink on it. It should too, since Tristan is European. After rocking Munich back near the ropes away from the press box camera, he drops forward, puts his head under one of Munich’s armpits, and looks his arms around Munich hips, obviously going for his signature Fisherman’s suplex. Munich, seemingly wise tonight, grabs a hold of the ring ropes behind him, to delay Tryst’s suplex. With his free arm, he swings down and strike down at The Sherwood Fable’s back, taking away the power needed to bring Munich over in the move. Munich then throws his two hands together, and brings Tryst down to his knees with a thunderous double axe handle to the back. Now in control, Munich drags Tryst back to his feet, keeps the headlock in place, throws an arm his shoulder, and grabs Tristan by the tights. Spinning back around rather quickly, Munich sets up in the middle of the ring. He quickly hauls his victim into the air, and holds him there, already looking for the move Davey Boy Smith made legendary, the hanging vertical suplex! Munich waits a moment too long to slam Tryst and the faster man wiggles free! The Sherwood Fable falls behind Munich, and quickly puts on a hammerlock on a rear waistlock. Munich obviously knows that he is about to be given one of Tryst’s signature moves, a move which may have an unasked for assists from the nearby ropes. Quickly, he elbows out of the move, sending Tryst staggering to the ropes. The British man thinks on his feet after seeing a charging Munich racing towards him. Tryst trips up the hustling Munich with a drop toehold! Munich temporarily loses his ability to breathe, as he crashes neck first into the second rope! Spying upon Munich’s predicament, Tryst motors to the far ropes, and comes racing back. He skies into the air, and attempts to drive Munich’s throat deeper into the ropes with the seat of his pants. However, the long haired Munich slips away, leaving Tryst to twist in the wind. The Sherwood Fable faces certain misery, but amazingly is able to contort his body in such a way that doesn’t even touch the ropes! In fact, he slices through them like an arrow through wind on the way to a target. Bull’s-eye! Trust lands on the outside of the ring, unscathed! The crowd goes bonkers after the fast exchange, and erupts into a boisterous ovation, as Munich and Tryst have another staredown, this time through the ropes, and a playful smirk now planted on Munich’s visage.

 

Comet: Why do these two men know each other so well? They have never faced off before, and I’m quite sure never even met before a few minutes ago when the bell rang! Neither of them has had momentum last in their favor for more than a handful of seconds.

 

Riley: Both of them are on their respective games tonight. However, to save TV time, I suggest that they both grab large, blunt instruments, and swing for the fences.

 

Comet: Heinous! Citizen Riley, appreciate good competition.

 

Kivell, the only man not overly impressed by the current developments, has already started his count and is up to three. Tryst wisely attempts to climb back into the ring, but as he makes his attempt, Munich is right there to push him back into the safety barrier, as he grabs the top rope, and uses it to swing himself out, while pushing Tristan back with his legs. Munich comes to the outside. The Sherwood Fable, dying to get some headway in this match, waits until his opponent approaches, and then promptly gives out a less than noble eye gauge. Munich grabs his eyes, and staggers into the steel stairs. The larger man is stalked by Robin Hood fanatic, and as Munich clears his hands away from his eyes, he is met with a back elbow directly into the nose. The move doesn’t look to be of blood drawing quality, but is enough to drive Munich back again into the stairs.

 

TWO!!

 

Tryst knows full well of Kivell’s count, as the capacity crowd surrounding him counts along with the authority figure. Tryst looks to pour it on, as he backs up a meter or two, and then charges at Munich. He uses Munich’s semi soft stomach to give him the boost he needs as he attacks. He backflips into the air, and whilst doing so, drives his right boot into Munich’s hand covered forehead. Even with his hands covering the blow, the Texan’s expression is that of the loss of consciousness.

 

FIVE!!

 

Noticing the clock in his head, the clock in Kivell’s head, and the partially broken clock in Munich’s head, Tryst quickly grabs the slumped over body of Munich, and rolls it into the ring. He quickly follows the body in, breaking Kivell’s count. After keeping Agent 27 away from the progress derailing ropes, Tristan throws on a snug pin. The senior referee is, of course, in position to make the count.

 

ONE!

TWO!!

T-NO!!!

 

Comet: And Citizen Munich is easily able to kick out of that fine predicament! As we now know, the modest man can takes a lot of punishment and keep going like nothing has happened.

 

Riley: Munich can be worn down, though. Just like any other man. All you need to do is find a weakness. The same can be said for Tryst.

 

The Sherwood Fable rises up from Munich’s chest, a look of slight disappointment shown across his face. He looks out into the crowd for a moment, and hears the roar of the crowd. They surprise him with a chant of “Robin Hood!” Looking to appeal to the fans, The Sherwood climbs to the top, overlooking the struggling Munich, who is slowly making it up to his feet. Tryst waits perched up top, until he sees his opponent’s upward looking face. Like a flash, Tristan comes off the top with a cross body block. It’s connects directly with Agent 27! They both come crashing to the middle of the ring, and somehow Munich uses Tryst’s momentum against him, and rolls through! The crowd pops in surprise, as the two hundred and sixty pounder puts on a surprisingly pin. Kivell quickly slides into position.

 

ONE!

TWO!

THR-NO!!!

 

Comet: Citizen Tryst is just able to break out before the three count! Splendid reversal by Citizen Munich, using Tryst’s own momentum against him!

 

Riley: I do have to admit that this is some good wrestling from both men.

 

Comet: So you are retracting your earlier statement, Citizen Riley?

 

Riley: Oh no. This is good stuff, but I still don’t like either man.

 

The Gund Arena crowd exhales sharply, as Tryst kicks out. Both men climb to their feet, after becoming untangled. The Sherwood Fable is first to his feet, and waits momentarily for his opponent to rise. Munich finally gets to his feet, but much to his chagrin, Sherwood is waiting for him. Tristan quickly fires off a thrust kick to the chest, sending Munich reeling into the ropes. The lack of oxygen finally gets to Munich, as he falls and rolls to the outside. Hunched over on his knees, the former SJL World Champion tries to get his oxygen back. Back in the ring, Tryst waits patiently for Munich to rise. He stands above him at the ropes, looking at both Munich and the announcer’s table. The crowd lets out a hearty roar, as Tryst leaps up onto the top rope, then using it as a springboard, leaps off, and then executes his risky corkscrew plancha! The larger man can’t get out of the way, and they slam into the floor, Munich taking most of the damage!

 

Comet: Picture perfect corkscrew plancha there by Citizen Tryst! Now both men are down in front of us in a heap, while Citizen Mathew Kivell goes about counting them both out!

 

Riley: This match may be over if Tryst can beat Munich to the ring!

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!

 

Finally, both men rise to their feet, Tryst on a more stable footing than Munich. After the SWF curtain jerkers turn to face each other, Tryst fires off a quick right hand, but Munich reaches over, blocks with the right, and fires off a quick left hand, knocking back his opponent.

 

FOUR!!

 

Munich goes to advance on Tryst, but the Brit is one step ahead, and drives a knee into Munich’s midsection, doubling him over. Tryst grabs onto one of Munich’s large mitts, and guides him so that he is facing the steel stairs! Finally, Tristan goes for the whip, and Munich rushes in towards the steps. The whip is not very strong however, and Munich is able to counter it, as with his left foot, he steps on the middle step. He uses all of his leaping ability to leap off of his left foot, and glide towards the crowd barrier. Amazingly, he is able to land on the crowd barrier, to a huge “zuh?” from the crowd! He slowly turns back towards Tryst, and eggs him on to come at him.

 

FIVE!!

 

Comet: I have no clue how Citizen Munich pulled that one off!

 

Riley: Probably a mixture of luck…and luck.

 

Tryst, aggravated, advances forward to Munich. As he nears Munich’s perch, Agent 27 leaps off of the barrier, and hits a diving clothesline on Tryst, sending him and the Texan to the floor! The crowd pops loudly at Munich’s display of athleticism!

 

SIX!!

 

Munich, no feeling very much of the fall, is able to get back to his feet, and picks Tryst up to his feet. He quickly corrals him and tosses him into the ring, breaking up the count, and giving himself an opportunity at the win. Finally back inside the ring, Munich wastes no time, and throws a lateral press on Tryst. Kivell quickly circles the wagons and makes the count.

 

ONE!

TWO!!

THR-NO!!!

 

Comet: Brilliant move by Citizen Tryst! He found a way to put his foot on the rope and save himself a pinfall loss!

 

Riley: What a tights loving pansy! I know he could’ve kicked out from that under his own power.

 

Comet: He may be a very exhausted man, Citizen Riley.

 

Munich looks up at the Kivell, who gestures to him about the foot on the ropes. Munich scolds himself momentarily before dragging Tryst to his feet. After a couple quick punches to the forehead, Agent 27 backs The Sherwood Fable up against the nearby ropes, and then races to the center of the squared circle, pulling Tryst with him. He whips him across the ring with great speed. Munich stands in the center, waiting for his opponent to return. Munich balls up his left fist, and stands crouched, waiting for Tryst to return. Munich swings wildly, going for his patented left hook, but Tryst ducks it and flies right by! Tristan comes back off the ropes and comes charging back at Munich. The former SJL World Champion turns back around towards The Sherwood Fable, but cannot put up a good defense, as Tryst has already gone through with his attack. Tryst leaps into the air, and nails Munich in the face with running spinning heel kick, nearly knocking Munich out on the spot! He goes for a quick cover!

 

ONE!

TWO!!

THRE-NO!!!

 

Comet: No, Citizen Munich is able to quick out after that beautiful but deadly spinning heel kick from Tryst!

 

Riley: You could hear that at the very top of this arena!

 

The crowd lets out a nice pop as Munich kicks out. Tryst is not deterred by this development, and quickly flips Munich over, and locks on one a perfect STF! Munich screams in pain as the move is applied. Agent 27 fights the urge to tap out to the splendid submission maneuver, and uses his three remaining limbs to slowly crawl to the ropes. The capacity crowd gets behind Munich as he struggles to get to the ropes, his body in so much pain it wants to leap right out of him. Munich continues to crawl to the ropes, The Sherwood Fable locking in the move the best that he can, putting as much as he can into it. Alas, Munich reaches the ropes, to a huge crowd reaction. Tristan is forced by the referee, Mathew Kivell, to release the move. He uses his full four seconds, and then releases the hold. Kivell afterwards scolds him away from Munich, allowing the former SJL World Champion to regain his health.

 

Comet: Citizen Munich, using the moral fibers left in his body, was able to fight out of that hold and get to the ropes!

 

Riley: That took a lot out of him, though. Tryst may just have to pick the pieces, show Munich what it was like to live during the crusades, and ride off to victory on a galloping stead.

 

The Sherwood Fable advances back towards Munich, looking to finish the job he has started. However, Munich, with the energy he still has left, leaps up and grabs the back of Tryst’s head, and then falls back to his knees, slamming Tristan with a Plan M out of pure desperation! Tryst falls to his back, clutching his chattering jaw. Munich, meanwhile, grabs his left leg, the STF leg, too much pressure being put on that certain leg in this match. Mathew Kivell starts his mandatory ten count, as both men have gone down.

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

THREE!!

 

FOUR!!

 

FIVE!!

 

SIX!!

 

Finally, both men get to their feet. They wander into the center of the ring, and throw caution to the wind, and start to trade punches in manic fashion, the crowd going wilder with each thrown punch. After about five or six punches from both men, one left hand from Munich goes errant, as Tryst blocks it with his right, and quickly, and unexpectedly, throws on an arm wringer. The much larger man will have none of this, and swings wildly to break free. Tryst sees the strike coming, and releases the arm while he ducks. Munich twirls around, and winds up dizzy, facing Tristan. The Sherwood Fable leaps at Munich, and drives a hard kick right to Agent 27’s chest, driving him back into the ropes, void of air. The former SJL World Champion walks semi stunned to the center of the ring, where Tristan is waiting. He quickly locks Munich in a front face lock, and throws an arm over his shoulder. He grabs onto the Texan’s belt, and lifts Munich up over his head, having trouble holding the heavier man up and completely his finisher, The Crusade! The crowd lets out a pop as they see Tryst hold Munich up high over his head. Before he can turn, spin and plant Munich, his opponent, the wise former SJL World Champion is able to fall and grab onto Tryst’s neck, and then hits him with a spectacular neckbreaker!! Tryst immediately grabs his neck in absolute pain.

 

Comet: What a counter by Citizen Munich!! Tryst is reeling! Munich needs to capitalize right now!

 

Riley: I don’t think either of these men has enough left in them to win without a fluke finisher!

 

Munich, tired himself, crawls to the ropes and pulls himself to his feet. The crowd lets out an enormous pop, as the Texan makes the universal signal for the piledriver. Munich staggers over to Tryst, who is still down, grasping onto his neck. Without any delay what so ever, Agent 27 hauls Tristan up to his feet and puts him in standing head scissors. After a look to the crowd for moral support, which they give, the larger man hoists Tryst into the air, and hooks one of the legs in his arms. After slightly walking to the center of the ring, gingerly, Munich sits down, spiking Tristan to the mat with a ferocious C-4 Crunch, to which the crowd explodes to. After the fallen Sherwood Fable crumples into the mat, Munich goes for the pin, hooking a leg tightly. Kivell has been in the middle of the ring waiting.

 

ONE!

TWO!!

THREE!!!

 

*DINGDINGDING!*

 

“Gimme Shelter” by The Rolling Stones kicks up on the PA again, as Funyon tells the fans in attendance of their winner.

 

Funyon: The winner, by pinfall; Munich!!

 

Comet: Citizen Munich fights hard, and picks up another victory! Looks like Citizen Tryst is going to have to fight the good fight back in Britain for a while after this loss! He’s on a roll, Citizen Riley.

 

Riley: Tryst is a scrub. Good, decisive pinfall, but Munich has not defeated anybody yet!

 

The fans cheer loudly, as a sweaty Munich slides out of the ring, and walks up the ramp, taking in the adoration shown by the Cleveland faithful. Munich gives a smile as he looks upon his pack of cigarettes still lying on the mat. He picks up the pack of Marlboro 27s, and retrieves a cigarette, along with his trusty Bic lighter from inside. He places the neatly packed smoke between his lips, lights up, puffs out the first lighter fluid flavored puff, and then takes a long, sticky mouthed drag in celebration of his victory.

 

Comet: I do not smoke myself, but I can understand Citizen Munich needing something to take the edge off. Don’t go away fair citizens; we have a full night of SWF action ahead of us!

 

<Fade to Black>

[the.weej 0]

(The camera fades from the commercial break and it’s quickly apparent that the Gund Area is anything but calm! The rallied and rowdy crowd tries to snag their split second of fame while the camera pans down through the wave of fans. Finally it settles down right in front of Cyclone Comet and Riley who suddenly cut their conversation short).

 

“Sorry loyal SWF citizens but we have no time to waste with banter! Tonight’s an explosive episode of Smarkdown! The 13th Hour steadily descends upon us where absolute mayhem is bound to break out! Tonight a new cruiserweight contendership will be awarded, Danny and the Masked Man will clash in battle, Janus and Johnny Dangerous BUTT heads to see how will get their shot at the prestigious ICTV title! But our main event is bound to be an epic because the team of Nathan, Dace, and Ryan will battle for justice against the vile Toxxic, Tom Flesher, and Ace!” Cyclone Comet hypes.

 

Riley can’t help but to roll his eyes and sigh. “Are you ever not dramatic?”

 

“Dramatic? No it’s quite obvious that Toxxic was attempting to put away the Insane Luchador for good with that brutal Dangerlust from a ladder through the table! But luckily he’s alright and now is ready to grapple with David Blazenwing! These two men have experience for sure and IL might be off from that nasty match with Toxxic, it should be quite a close match,” Comet says.

 

“This match is scheduled for one fall and there is no time limit…” Funyon begins.

 

The arena lights shut off and there’s silence as the fans now realize who will soon come out. “Schism” eerily begins and the fans slowly keep their attention at the entrance ramp. Soon the drums are thrown in and the red and blue lights begin to flash everywhere. Next red and black pyro cascades from the top of the SmarkTron and showers the entrance ramp.

 

I know the pieces fit…

Because I watched them fall away…

 

The Luchador’s body is vaguely recognizable past the shield of pyro but soon he slowly walks in front of it. His head is tilted a little bit to the left and his black baggy sweatshirt, baggy khaki cargoes, black skate shoes, black hair with green streaks, and wild eyes make him a very creepy man. The 6’1” Pennsylvanian native slowly walks down the ramp before pausing with a smirk that slowly spreads across his face. He hops up and down; tilting his head to the side, then slaps the side of his head a little bit. Then he puts up a drunken “Fighting Irish” stance before laughing eerily before continuing his walk.

 

“What the funk?” Comet asks.

 

“Hey, funk you!” Riley quips back.

 

“First… hailing from Easton, Pennsylvania- weighing in at 201 pounds… IIINNNNNSSSAAANNNNNEEEE LLLUUUCCCHHHAAADDOOOR!” Funyon’s deep voice booms.

 

The pyro shield fades away while the lighting turns into pure pandemonium.

 

“Remember we are not to be held responsible for seizures,” Riley throws in as Luchador hops onto the apron.

 

Andrew Rickmen scales up the turnbuckle and holds his arms out in a cross pose before he hops down into the ring as the lights slowly turn back to normal. He stands in center of the ring not quite looking collected.

 

“I hope our faithful fanatics don’t know what’s it like to sustain a massive head injury but it differently disorients and will have an impact on this match,” Comet wisely informs.

 

The arena finds itself plunged into darkness again right as Papa Roach’s “Last Resort” blares.

 

Cut my life into pieces-

This is my last resort!

 

Emerald flames rockets out from the entrance ramp and the SmarkTron displays highlights of Blazenwing’s career.

 

David Blazenwing steps out and is greeted by the fans with numerous cheers! He grins from the support from the fans while he begins to walk down the aisle. He sports the usual green khaki pants, green t-shirt with a black shirt over it and black wristbands.

 

“Next… from Milwaukee, Wisconsin- weighing in at 245 pounds… DDDAAAVIIIIDDD BLLLAAZZEEENNNNWIIIIIIINNNGGG!”

 

“He certainly looks confident and snug.” Riley notices.

 

“He has a clear advantage; Insane Luchador just isn’t who he used to be. He’s changing, he hasn’t been winning, and now he’s trying to get over a massive head injury,” Comet says and the few Luchador loyalists jeer at the comment.

 

Blazenwing slaps fan’s hands and pauses right at ringside. The fans can’t help but to continue cheering. He can’t control his instinct to please the crowd more so he hops onto the apron, throwing out one arm while his other arm is hooked underneath the top rope.

 

“In a good mood too,” Riley pouts.

 

But the party is soon crashed as the Insane Luchador scoops the shorter Blazenwing by his head and flips him over into the ring!

 

DING! DING! DING!

 

Luchador is quickly makes it clear this isn’t a mercy match as he begins to pound David in the gut with boot stomps! Jeers begin to pour in while he picks up his opponent. A palm strike cracks Blazenwing in the jaw and sends him reeling into the turnbuckle. IL charges and leaps out, hitting the spear! David slumps down from the attack and begins to be drilled with mini-spears! By the fourth attack Blazenwing suddenly shoots up his right knee and it collides with Luchador shoulder, barely stopping the assault. David then snatches the Luchador’s head in a headlock before swiftly hoping onto the top turnbuckle! He cracks a kick right to the top of Luchador’s damaged head and releases the lock. Nimble as a cat he hops off the top turnbuckle towards IL and flips over his back, landing on the mat, clutching his legs, and finishing off the sunset flip! Matthew Kivell drops to the mat,

 

“ONE” The fans scream.

 

“Very quick action so far,” Comet says. “Apparently Luchador’s head injury hasn’t set him too off-balance.”

 

“Yeah well you figure somebody as insane as IL is kind of used to those injuries. Hell I bet he welcomes concussions!” Riley snaps back.

 

Luchador kicks out and rolls backwards from David with a grunt. The two scramble back to their feet and collide together in a grapple. The two jockey for their moves but soon Luchador is sent doubling over from a knee strike. Blazenwing lets go of the hold while IL involuntarily doubles over and he grabs Rickmen with both arms on his head! With the front facelock locked in he drops and swings to the mat which makes Luchador become a victim to the swinging neckbreaker!

 

“Well this is smart by David, using his speed and working Luchador’s head. Citizen David is only 5’8” so Luchador has a good three inches him, not to mention a better striking reach. There’s nothing IL loves more than just a brawl so Blazenwing so stick close and strike fast. That way Luchador can’t get maximum reach on his swings and get the advantage or send Blazenwing into a brawling frenzy. He works that neck and doesn’t let himself get caught up in the moment and let Luchador use his brawling or try to out-speed him, he should be good,” Comet says with a very in-depth comment.

 

“Ah, Comet, that’s true… but you’re forgetting that being the veteran Luchador is and Blazenwing isn’t a master at anything as much as an all-rounder. Therefore Luchador has encountered almost everything David has to throw at him, so don’t be surprised if IL wiggles his way into a better spot!” Riley remarks back.

 

Comet says, “Why Robert. That was very astute. I’m impressed.”

 

“Gee, stop, I’ll blush,” Riley says with obvious sarcasm.

 

David clutches Luchador by his spiked hair and drags him to his feet. Blazenwing bounces into the ropes and leaps into the air, twisting his body around while his leg is on a collision course with Rickmen! The cheers pour in as the spinning wheel kick, better known as the Dragon Whip, seems to be picture-perfect! But Luchador glances up just in time as he ducks under as David’s leg flies over his head. He lands on one foot and before he can even get back to balance the Luchador nails him with a dropkick! He’s sent flying back and rolling backwards from the momentum. The fans reaction is split as Luchador charges after his opponent and the second the two are on their feet they begin to swing!

 

“Oh this isn’t good news for David if he’s going to let IL trick him into brawling!” Comet exclaims.

 

The exchange of punches lets Rickmen take the advantage and fake a right hook, only to lunge out with an elbow instead! It smacks the side of Blazenwing’s temple and he begins to crumble to the mat. However Luchador scoops him up and forces him doubled over near his body. Viciously he sends knees to Blazenwing’s face before wrapping his arms around his waist! He lifts David vertically into the air for the signature Piledriver! But it’s ill-fated as Blazenwing smartly wraps his legs around Luchador’s neck and begins to apply pressure! Already aching in the whole head his grip is loosened and David wiggles his arms free. He plants his hands on the mat and whips his legs forwards. That sends Luchador finding himself airborne with a hurricanarana! Smacking against the mat the only thing to stop him from the massive momentum is the turnbuckle. The arena is whirling around for the Insane Luchador who dozily pulls himself up using the turnbuckle as a crutch. His opponent standing diagonal from can’t help but to smile as the fans cheer loudly as Luchador flops over to his back against the turnbuckle, seeing 245 pounds of talent flying at him! He smacks against the Luchador with a stinger splash that sends David on his feet a few inches away and Luchador stumbling towards him. Wasting no time David wraps his arm around Luchador in a headlock and falls to the mat, hitting the classic DDT! He flips Luchador over to his back and pins with high hopes-

 

“ONE” The fans chant hopefully.

 

 

“TWO!” “This might be a quick wrap-up to this match, folks! It doesn’t take much to send a person down and out with such a head injury…”

 

 

Luchador breaks the count with his shoulder with a small giggle.

 

“It takes a lot more to break down a psycho,” Riley says.

 

The two roll back to their feet with Blazenwing being way ahead of the Luchador. He stumbles for a second and barely dodges a kick attempt before Blazenwing snatches him in a front facelock! Quickly he grabs a handful of Luchador’s cargoes before lifting him vertically in the air! Only the hardcore IL fans are jeering as Luchador finds all his blood rushing to his already beaten head.

 

“It doesn’t matter how tough you are, a concussion at the end of the day is a concussion. It’s very cruel but smart of Citizen David to keep IL suspended in the air for that long,” Cyclone Comet says.

 

He drops to the mat and completes the suplex but he retains the hold. He forces Luchador back to his feet and back into the air again! The fans nearly explode with agreement as he goes for a second suplex! But the Luchador worms his way out and slips away, landing on his feet behind his opponent. The Luchador finds himself very disoriented but not disoriented enough to nearly crack David’s skull with a powerful palm strike to the back of Blazenwing’s head!

 

“Ouch!” Riley can’t help but to exclaim as Blazenwing stumbles forwards and falls to his knees on the mat.

 

“By Odin, I swear Luchador just might’ve given poor David a concussion!” Comet says with traces of being worried.

 

The twisted Andrew Rickmen whips his leg out and connects with the side of Blazenwing with an expert kick! David crumbles to the mat while Insane Luchador quickly grabs his arms and tugs him up. He traps David’s arms under his armpit before delivering a headbutt!

 

“What the HELL is wrong with IL? He has a concussion and he’s hitting a headbutt!” Riley yells.

 

He lets go and Blazenwing sways to his side before Luchador snatches a handful of his hair from the back of his head! He charges forwards with David being forced for the ride! The two find themselves inches away from the turnbuckle before Blazenwing holds up his arms and clutches the ropes! The move is halted but Luchador continues to push forwards as David resists. He then snaps an elbow strike back that hits IL head with such impact he falls to the mat! Luchador rolls away from any danger and is slow to get to his feet. Blazenwing turns around and gives a big grin as he begins to stomp his feet on the mat!

 

”THE FULL EFFECT! He’s going to try to put away Rickmen with the Full Effect!” Comet shrieks like a little girl.

 

The cheers are nearly endless as Luchador gets to one knee and in his twisted, aching head hears the stomping on the mat. It doesn’t register with the ringing in his ears as he stands to both feet, back turned to David. Suddenly he gets the impulse to drop to his stomach, and he does.

 

“Yes!” Riley shouts. “Luchador ducked right under that! Ha! How’s that for reflexes?”

 

“I must admit I’m impressed even with his injuries he’s remaining a fighter,” Comet says.

 

The fans express their disappointment as Luchador rolls right back up to his feet, fists up and ready for a fight! But Blazenwing is too smart to come back to blows with the Luchador and he instead jukes around IL! Now behind his opponent David wraps his arms in a waist lock. He begins to try to Luchador into the air for the German Suplex but instead gets nailed with an elbow! David’s grip is loosened so the Luchador breaks through it and spins around, getting his own waist lock on his opponent! Not wasting a millisecond he arches his back over and sends Blazenwing over with a release German suplex!

 

Riley reconsiders everything he’s said about IL. “Maybe he’s got some talent. Just a bit.”

 

David grabs his head and tries to roll to his feet but the enraged Luchador just charges forwards and deliver a nasty kidney kick! Kivell has an urge to step in while Luchador continues to just drive kicks into David’s rib area as he rolls away in an attempt to escape.

 

“Hey! That’s actually dangerous!” Comet cries.

 

“Oh and just about every other thing IL does isn’t?” Riley retorts.

 

After the fourth swift kick to the body of David he lets his opponent get to his feet groggily. Luchador lunges forwards and catches Blazenwing with his arms wrapped around his waist. He tugs him up and this times leaps into the air-

 

“Oh! IL nails David with a jumping Piledriver, here comes the pin!” Comet says.

 

“ONE”

 

 

“Ah, come on David!” Comet cheers along with the fans.

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO” But before Matthew’s hand even is raised the pin is broken.

 

Luchador gives Kivell an evil glare as if it was his fault he didn’t win before he slowly gets to his feet. Slowly a smirk spreads across his sinister face as he grabs David Blazenwing and tugs him up. He shoves him backwards and David tries to defend himself. He charges but the Luchador simply drops to the mat and delivers a drop toe hold that smacks David’s throat across the ropes! Blazenwing bounces off and hits the mat and IL goes for the pin again!

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

“DAVID! DAVID!” The fans’ chant spreads like a forest fire across the arena.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

“DAVID! DAVID!”

 

 

 

 

Luchador begins to laugh as he can just feel the fan’s disappointment as Kivell’s hand raises and falls….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!” Riley blurts out.

 

 

But Matthew points to the foot draped across the bottom rope.

 

“Yes! David is keeping that fighting spirit!” Comet cries out.

 

Luchador growls loudly as he stands up and gives Kivell an intimidating stare. Matthew backs off and is innocent while David rolls right to his feet! He stands behind the Luchador, who’s oblivious to him, while IL advances on Kivell.

 

“Now IL you back off now, Kivell was right and doing his job!” Comet scowls as he shifts uncomfortably in his chair.

 

“Oh what Comet? You’re going to stop that psycho!” Riley taunts Comet as he stares up at Luchador.

 

Suddenly Blazenwing reaches up and snatches Luchador in with a nasty sleeper hold! The cheers could knock off the roof as Luchador struggles to free himself.

 

“The ideal move to do onto Luchador! Brilliant!” Comet yells.

 

 

Luchador finds himself slowly being drained of his energy but the move sends him even higher with his anger.

 

“DAVID! DAVID! DAVID!”

 

Fueled by the chant and the thought of ending the match Blazenwing slowly eases up on the grip and grapevines his foot around IL’s ankle…

 

“What’s he doing?” Comet asks.

 

David quickly switches gears and turns the hold into the Crippler Crossface within a split second!

 

“He’s got the Shock Lock!” Comet yells.

 

Riley groans. “So close to displaying talent, I swear IL was so close!”

 

“All he needs to do is get Luchador to the ground and this match is done! Even a fighter like IL can’t take the pain!” Comet insists.

 

In the ring David trips the Luchador down to the mat and they fall down, the Shock Lock held tighter than ever! Kivell gets to his knees and offers IL to give up.

 

“Just tap IL! This match isn’t worth endangering your life!” Comet advises.

 

Luchador refuses and Blazenwing has no problem with cranking the hold even harder.

 

 

Luchador raises his hand into the air…

 

 

 

 

Drops it once then holds it back up… Kivell stares almost in disbelief. He hits the hand against the mat again.

 

“He tapped? He tapped! IL never taps!” Riley protests.

 

 

Luchador raises his hand into the air…

 

 

 

To flip the bird to every single fan chanting David Blazenwing’s name! The fans can’t help but to jeer wildly as Luchador flops to the side and his long arms securely grab the bottom rope! Even Kivell moans in disappointment and makes David release the hold. Blazenwing stands up, towering above the Luchador, who rolls up to one knee. Luchador looks up with an evil smirk and David stands in front of the ropes, ready to strike. Out of nowhere the Luchador swoops up and shoulder barges Blazenwing as he goes toppling over the top rope! He nearly spills out of the ring but his arms snag the top rope and he finds himself on the apron, dazed. Luchador, as if he had all the energy in the world, runs into the ropes- aimed for Blazenwing.

 

“Oh come on now!” Comet yells in disbelief. “How can he be able to suddenly be so energized?”

 

“I’d like to think hatred and insanity is quite the motivation for anything. Not to mention masochism never hurts,” Riley says casually.

 

David stands on both feet shaking his head a bit just to see Insane Luchador charging at him! Before he can even react Luchador has leapt out like a tiger pouncing on its prey. The sight is equally impressive as depressing to the fans as Luchador leaps over Blazenwing yet hooks him from the waist as he flips over using such momentum he snaps David over with a snap sunset flip powerbomb! Everybody’s speechless as David smacks against the cold, hard cement and motionless. Luchador slowly rolls to his feet and gives a satisfying look down at the crippled heap of Blazenwing. Like an interested puppy he cocks his head to the side, then in a complete dick moment he nudges him with his skate shoe to no response. Casually he shrugs and rolls back into the ring.

 

“That’s Luchador’s new finisher dubbed the ‘Destruction’… quite the debut, because I think David’s out…” Comet says.

 

Luchador casually sits down at the turnbuckle while Matthew stares at Luchador’s indifference to his fellow wrestler’s condition. Rickmen just cocks his head to the side, pointing to David on the outside. Kivell begins the count.

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

FOUR! David makes a low wheezing noise.

 

 

 

FIVE! “Glad to know he’s alive,” Riley says sarcastically.

 

 

SIX! Meanwhile Luchador casually pulls out a Lucky Strike from his pocket and hangs it loosely in his mouth.

 

SEVEN! He casually whips out a Zippo and lights the cigarette all while behind Matthew’s back.

 

“Hey! IL can be disqualified for that! He didn’t even want to win the match! He just wanted to hurt somebody!” Comet screams. “This is injustice!” He pounds his fist on the table.

 

 

EIGHT! “DAVID! DAVID! DAVID!”

 

 

 

NINE! Luchador exhales a cloud of smoke loudly.

 

 

 

 

TEN! “BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” The fans jeer.

 

 

Matthew Kivell turns around to Luchador who casually rolls out of the ring puffing his cigarette. He walks by the steel steps and stands above David… only to ash his cigarette onto his fallen opponent!

 

Comet can’t even find the right words to describe his anger.

 

The fans can, however.

 

“FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!” They all scream as “Schism” begins to play all the noise drowning out Funyon.

 

The chant grows louder.

 

"FUCK YOU!"

 

Luchador smirks and continues his walk as he soaks up the chant, blowing smoke into the air cockily.

 

 

 

-STARWIPE-

Edited June 8, 2004 by realitycheck

[the.weej 0]

As SWF Smarkdown returns from its previous commercial break, the Smarktron comes to life. The camera pans around the Gund Arena as fans hold up their homemade signs, such as “MASKED MAN~!”, “Dace F’N Night”, “Who’s Next? – Blazenwing”, and “Toxxic = Orton”. The camera cuts down to the announcer’s table where Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley both sit.

 

“Welcome back, citizens. We are live at The Gund Arena in Cleveland, Ohio! We have an action packed filled card, with one of the most anticipated main events in a long time. A six man tag, featuring the top stars of the SWF right before we head into 13th Hour!” cries Comet.

 

“Calm down there, Comet. You are nearly jumping on top of me…wait…don’t say anything.” Pleads Riley, as he knows what’s to come next.

 

Comet ignores his plea. “You would like that though, wouldn’t you Robert?” mocks the Caped Crusader.

 

“I hate you.”

 

“Robert, it is all in good fun!” as he gives a heartfelt laugh.

 

“Anyway…”

 

“Yes, let’s continue. Up next is a Four Way No Disqualification Match to determine the Number One Contender to the SWF Cruiserweight Championship! It will involve “The Antichrist Superstar” Crow and “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins…”

 

“Not to mention the former SWF Hardcore Gamers Champion, Jimmy “The Demon” Liston and one half of the greatest SWF Tag Team Champions since the reign of Judge and Rule. Todd Cortez of Hollywood Boulevard.” States Riley as he cuts off his partner.

 

“Did you really need to interrupt me?” questions Comet.

 

“Yes. Yes, I did. Let’s go to the ring!”

 

The camera cuts to Funyon, who stands in the ring with microphone in hand.

 

“The following contest is a Four Way No Disqualification Elimination Match. Once a member of the match is eliminated, he will vacate the ring and return to the back. The winner of this match will be named Number One Contender to the SWF Cruiserweight Championship!” Funyon catches his breath and allows the fans time to settle down. “First, making his way to the ring!”

 

The lights go dark. A string orchestra can be heard playing a sweetly disturbing tune. The Smarktron comes to life, simply displaying a white ankh. Pyros flash as they climb the ramp, from ringside to entrance. The screen flashes as drums and guitar join in Cradle of Filth's "Born in a Burial Gown". A burst of flame announces the arrival of Liston. On the Smarktron, a collection of clips of previous matches starts up. Liston is seen Hunting Todd Royal, Tormenting Leo Breslin, hitting Blazenwing with the Damnation, and the video culminates with a shot of Liston on the turnbuckle, jumping and landing a Demon Headbutt on Craig McLennan. Red lights accompany Liston as he walks down the ramp to ringside, his eyes seemingly focused on some invisible object floating in front of his face.

 

“Coming to the ring, weighing in at a total of Two Hundred and Twenty-eight pounds. He hails from Boston, Massachusetts. He is Jimmy ‘The Demon’ Liston!!”

 

Liston slides into the ring, climbs the near turnbuckle, and, just as the tempo picks up, he thrusts his fist into the air in time with the music. He jumps from the top turnbuckle, and walks to the far side of the ring as the house lights are brought up, and the music fades.

 

“My boy, Liston. A former Hardcore Gamers Champion! He is an up and coming talent…DON’T SAY A WORD!”

 

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

 

“Thank you.”

 

“But all I do know that Jimmy Liston is an Up and “Coming” talent.” Laughs Comet.

 

“I hate you…so much!”

 

A small collection of screams is heard as the lights fall and darkness overtakes the arena. Machine Head’s “Imperium” begins to play with its mellow strumming of the guitar. The intensity picks up progressively until it reaches boiling point...

 

“HHEEEAAAARRRR ME NNNNOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!!!!!”

 

“And his opponent!”

 

The lights flicker in a brooding red light as screens at homes around the world become distorted with picture noise. The lights and noise stops as the darkness goes black again, and a spotlight appears in the middle of the stage. Standing amidst the light is Crow, the Antichrist Superstar with his wings spread and head cocked back. The crowd cheers wildly for their beloved superstar.

 

“Hear me now!

Words I vow!

No fucking regrets!”

 

Crow drops his arms and turns around to face the crowd. A cigarette is as always present, the BUTT resting gently between his lips. He reaches into his pocket, pulls out his zippo and smiles as he slashes the zippo back and forward across his pants.

 

”Fuck these chains!

No god damn slave!

I will be different!”

 

The Antichristian Phenomenon lights the cigarette in his mouth and proceeds to stride forward, quickly followed by Jessica. After his second stride he throws the still lit zippo behind him onto the stage and an eruption of fire goes off! The crowd cheers wildly as the flames rise up to two meters in height!

 

“Accompanied to the ring by Jessica. Weighing in at a total of Two Hundred and Thirty pounds. He hails from Adelaide, Australia. He is the ‘Antichrist’ Superstar! He is Crow!”

 

I'll stand here defiantly!

My middle finger raised!

Fuck your prejudice!

 

Crow strides up the steel steps and enters the ring. He walks over to his corner and sits down, smoking, whilst waiting for his opponent.

 

“Crow has proved countless times that he can win a fight. The cruiserweight title may not be up his alley, but any gold around his waist is good gold!”

 

“I doubt he is going to have his mind on the match. He has Insane Luchador running him out of the SWF! And I’m happy! IL finally shows some personality and tries to take out the fake hardcore icon.”

 

“Fake? Do you see the scars on his body? Robert, he has been through many battles and has nearly killed himself countless times.”

 

“Yeah, with drugs and alcohol. Falling on barbed wire doesn’t hurt as much when your high, Comet!”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Never mind.”

 

The lights dim down, while a multitude of light blue lights begin flashing from the entrance stage, as "Not Today" by Hotwire starts up. After a few seconds, "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins walks out from the backstage area and stops at the entrance ramp, the hood of his jacket covering his head, while he stares at the ground, allowing the crowd time to cheer. White pyro explodes from both sides of Spike, as Spike starts hopping around, getting warmed up. Spike makes his way through the pyro, and starts his journey to the ring.

 

“And they’re opponent! Making his way to the ring, weighing in at a total of Two Hundred and Twenty-five pounds! He hails from Hollywood, California! He is “Hollywood” Spike Jenkins!”

 

Spike makes his way to the ring, and climbs up onto the ring apron, and steeping through the ring ropes into the ring, and the second he steps into the ring, Spike pulls back the hood over his head, and holds his arms out, doing a little spin. Spike pulls the jacket off and tosses it ringside, and waits in his corner for the match to begin.

 

“Citizen Jenkins has been slowly rising up the ladder in the SWF. Nearly taking the USJL Triple Crown away from Landon Maddix, and the Hardcore Gamers Title away from Todd Cortez’s partner, Mike Van Siclen!”

 

“But he couldn’t do it. Enough said.”

 

“What crawled up your buttocks and made you so angry?”

 

“Nothing…” as Riley waits for the really bad joke.

 

“Was his name Brad? Ha!” chuckles Comet.

 

“And they’re opponent!”

 

"Tres Delinquentes" starts up as Todd Cortez, with the SWF World Tag Team Title fastened around his waist, comes out onto the stage. Cortez works the crowd, holding up his arms in the straight edge insignia before walking down to the ring.

 

“Weighing in at a total of Two Hundred and Twenty-six pounds. He hails from The Streets, and is one half of the SWF World Tag Team Champions! He is ‘The Urban Legend’ Todd Cortez!

 

Todd calmly looks around at the people in the ring, before climbing up the steel steps onto the apron. He steps through the ropes into the middle of the ring, and into his corner. Cortez holds his cross in his hand and kisses it, pointing upward in his traditional sign of respect for his deceased brother. He unstraps the tag team title from around his waist, and hands it to the referee. He passes it on to a ring crewmember, and enters the center of the ring. After making sure everyone is ready to start the match, he signals the bell.

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“And this match is underway!” cries Comet.

 

As the bell signals, all four men slowly inch out of their respective corners. Each man calmly waits for the attack of another. With a sudden burst of energy, Jimmy Liston charges into Spike. Liston nails Spike with an elbow that sends Spike stumbling back into the corner. On the opposite side of the ring, Todd makes the same charge. He nails Crow with an elbow, knocking Crow back into the ropes. The former Hardcore Gamers Champion beats down Spike with a flurry of punches. On the opposite side of the ring, one half of the World Tag Team champion does the same as he tears at The Antichrist Superstar. Both men pull their opposition up, and take a quick glance at each other. They both nod, and with a quick Irish whip send Crow and Spike towards each other.

 

“Liston and Todd Irish whip Spike and Crow into each other!” Comet states as he watches on.

 

But instead of the usual collision, Spike dives to the mat with a forward roll. Crow ducks his head out of instinct, which ends up causing him in the end. Spike cracks the back of his heel into the top of Crow’s head!

 

“Rolling Kuppo Kick!”

 

Crow falls backwards to the mat, and rolls out of the ring. Spike jumps up to his feet. Liston charges out of the corner, attempting to stay on the advantage. Catching Liston out of the corner of his eye, Spike unleashes a standing sidekick to the chest of Liston. Liston clutches his chest as he stumbles back into the corner.

 

“Big sidekick by Spike! Spike is on fire at the start of this match!”

 

“It’s the drugs, Comet.” Replies Riley with a cocky smirk.

 

Todd comes out of the corner, his hands raises in a double axe handle. Attempting to catch Spike by surprise, Todd is caught off guard by Spike’s right hand with an uppercut! Todd stumbles backwards, a little shaken from the punch. Spike charges at Todd, and flips him over the top rope to the floor with a clothesline!

 

“Clothesline over the top rope ALL THE WAY DOWN to the floor!” cheers Comet.

 

“Calm down, Comet. It was a clothesline. It’s not like he killed the man…”

 

Spike jumps around the ring, screaming out the adrenaline caught in his body. The crowd responds well, with a few cheers and little chants.

 

“HOLL E WOOD! HOLL E WOOD!”

 

The posing doesn’t last long, as Jimmy Liston charges out of the corner and nails Spike from behind. Spike falls forward, but lands on the middle rope. Liston grabs Spike by the hair, and pulls him up to his feet into the center of the ring. Liston locks Spike’s head in between his legs. He cuts his throat with his thumb, signaling the end of Spike.

 

“Oh yeah! Jimmy Liston is about to take Spike out real quickly! Here comes the Descent!”

 

“The Descent is Jimmy Liston’s powerbomb into a face buster. If he hits this, it can easily take Spike Jenkins out of this match!”

 

Liston wraps his arms around Spike’s waist. With a quick arch of the back, Liston lifts Spike into the air in a powerbomb position. Liston pushes Spike off his shoulders, and prepares to come down with the face crusher. But Spike lands on his feet! Liston stands in awe, as Spike decks him in the side of the head with a kick!

 

“OUCH!”

 

“Spike lands on his feet out of the Descent! He catches Liston with a really stiff kick to the head…yikes. That had to hurt…” comments Comet.

 

Liston takes the kick to the head, and drops down to one knee. Spike stays in place and nails another jumping kick to Liston’s head. Liston stands on both knees, waving back and forth from the effects of the kicks to the head. Spike backs up, and goes right back into stance as he unleashes a third kick across the face of Liston. Liston collapses face first to the mat. Spike poses for the crowd, as the Hollywood chants start up again.

 

“HOLL E WOOD! HOLL E WOOD!”

 

“Spike nearly rips Jimmy Liston’s head off with those kicks…yikes…”

 

“Those kicks should be banned! He has training in martial arts. It’s not fair!” cries Bobby.

 

“Stop bickering.”

 

Spike turns back from his pose, and looks down at Liston. He quickly stands over Liston. Spike reaches down, grabbing him by the hair and pulling him up. Spike sits down on Liston’s lower back, quickly wrapping his arm around Liston’s throat. Spike locks his arm under Liston’s, and pulls all the way with The Dragon Clutch!

 

“Silver Lining is locked in on Jimmy Liston!”

 

“This is a choke hold! Look! Liston’s face is turning purple! His chest is bright red! He can’t breathe! Spike is cheating!” cries Riley.

 

“It’s a Dragon Sleeper! He has used this move countless times to pick up victories! A very devastating submission maneuver.”

 

Liston screams in pain as his bright red chest is shown throughout the arena on the Smarktron. Despite not being in the match long, those kicks to the head took a lot out of Liston. Now being locked in the Dragon Clutch, with nowhere to go. Liston tries to fight it, but he can’t…

 

 

*TAP TAP TAP*

 

 

“Jimmy Liston taps out! Spike made Liston tap out!”

 

Spike releases the hold, as the referee helps Liston roll out of the ring. On the outside, Funyon stands holding the microphone in his hand.

 

“Jimmy Liston has been eliminated! Three men remain!”

 

Spike walks around the ring, playing to the crowd with the excitement of the first elimination. Out from behind, though, jumps Todd Cortez as he clotheslines Spike from behind. Spike crumbles to the mat with Cortez taking control. Todd lifts Spike up to his feet, and Irish whips him across the ropes. Spike bounces off the ropes and comes charging back. Todd flings his arm out, and slaps his palm into the face of Spike. Spike’s legs slide out from under him as he collapses to the mat.

 

“Very nice Shotei by the Urban Legend! That is why is the most talented cruiserweight in the SWF…besides of course. The master of the shotei, Tom Flesher!”

 

“Are you sucking up to Tom Flesher…when he’s not even out here?”

 

“You can’t suck up to greatness, Comet.”

 

“I’m sure you would like to try and prove that wrong, Robert.”

 

Riley mumbles something under his breath, making sure not to let the whole world hear it. Back in the ring, Todd leans down to grab Spike by the hair. But like Todd’s earlier attack on Spike, Crow jumps out from behind him with a double axe handle!

 

“That stupid bird! A cheap shot to The Urban Assault!”

 

“That’s how Todd took control over Spike…”

 

“Stop bringing up the past, Comet.”

 

Crow turns Todd around, and grabs him by the wrist. He attempts an Irish whip, but that only goes half way. Todd holds on, and pulls Crow in towards him. Todd wraps his arms around Crow’s waist, lifting him off the ground and driving him back first into the mat with a Sit Out Spinebuster! Todd places his legs over Crow’s spread out arms, as the referee dives into position!

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TH…NO! Crow kicks out!

 

 

“That was a three count! This referee is incompetent! He can’t count right!”

 

“I’m not going to justify that claim with an answer.”

 

Todd climbs up to his feet, locking one arm over one of Crow’s ankles. Todd turns him over onto his stomach and follows with him into a Single Leg Crab! Todd leans back, placing his knee over the lower back of Crow.

 

“Single leg crab by Todd Cortez! Placing the knee over the small of the back really adds to the pressure building in Crow! Smart move!”

 

Todd wrenches back on the leg, applying pressure to the back of Crow. Crow screams out in pain, as Jessica stands on the outside worried about her LOVER~! Crow flings his arms around, trying to think of what to do. He can’t move, so he is forced to sit there and endure as much as he possibly can. Todd rethinks this strategy, as the Ohio fans boo the Urban Assault. Todd wraps his leg around Crow’s and drops down to the mat on top of his opponent. He locks his hands around the face of the Antichrist Superstar and pulls back in a gruesome STF!

 

“STF! Crow is going to tap out!” claims Riley.

 

Crow screams in agony as Todd wrenches on the neck and the back at the same time. Crow’s back is already in pain from the sit out spinebuster. The STF does no help to the pain going through Crow’s spine. Spike climbs to his feet, standing in the corner. He goes to attack Todd from behind, but rethinks it. He walks back into the corner, and watches as Crow yells out in pain.

 

“What the…?”

 

“HA! I LOVE IT! SPIKE IS LETTING CROW GET STRETCHED! IT’S GENIUS!”

 

“Well, Spike Jenkins showing a new side of him. I have to say, I’m very disappointed.” Stammers The Cape Crusader.

 

“Why, because Spike wants to win? I think it’s brilliant!”

 

Spike stands in the corner, watching as Todd stretches Crow in the STF. This causes the crowd to start booing the Hollywood Superstar, but he ignores them for the most part. Todd continues pulling back at Crow, forcing Crow to do the one thing he never does…

 

 

 

*TAP TAP TAP*

 

 

“And Todd Cortez forces Crow to tap out to the STF! He had nowhere to go, and no way of getting out of the submission.”

 

Todd releases the STF and rolls over onto his back. He climbs up to his feet. Crow begins to crawl out of the ring, but Todd gives him one more cocky kick to the ribs as he exits the ring.

 

“Crow has been eliminated! Only two men remain!” booms Funyon.

 

“Spike just let his friend get stretched and had him tap out. I hope he is happy.”

 

“He is one pinfall or submission away from getting a Cruiserweight title shot at 13th Hour. I think he is very happy right now.” Laughs Riley who now seems to have taken a shining to Spike.

 

Todd turns around, but is met with a running elbow to the face! Todd stumbles back from the blow as Spike grabs him by the wrist and Irish whips him across the ring. Spike charges in behind Todd. Todd dives to the ground, hitting a handstand against the ropes. He bounces off the ropes and quickly back onto his feet. He leaps into the air, and nails the incoming Spike Jenkins with a back elbow! Both men fall to the mat with Todd getting to his knees. Todd poses as the members of the audience jeer at one half of the World Tag Team Champions.

 

“Todd with the handspring elbow! Now with the cover on Spike!”

 

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR…NO! Spike gets a shoulder up. Todd climbs to his knees and looks at the referee in disbelief. He tells Todd that it was indeed a two count. Todd looks back at Spike, reaches down, and grabs him by the hair. In a sinister act, Todd pulls Spike’s head up. He repeatedly slams the back of Spike’s head into the mat. Spike tries to push him away, but Todd is relentless.

 

“Come on, Referee! Citizen Cortez is trying to bash Spike Jenkins head open!” cries Comet.

 

“Tis’ a shame, really. Just when Spike started showing some back bone.”

 

Todd releases Spike, who grabs at the back of his skull. Todd viciously covers Spike, stiffing his forearm into Spike’s jaw.

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE…NO! Spike kicks out!

 

“Spike just getting a shoulder up!”

 

“I’m actually rooting for Spike now. That stunt he pulled with Crow was GENIUS~!”

 

“I guess it wasn’t love at first sight with Spike, hmmm Robert?”

 

“I don’t know why I put up with you.”

 

Todd climbs up to his feet, a little peeved that Spike isn’t finished. Todd looks around the audience. He makes the straight edge symbol with his arms across his chest, and raises them to the sky.

 

“I think it’s time for the Urban Assault! If Todd hits this, he’s going to 13th Hour to face Johnny Dangerous for the Cruiserweight Championship!”

 

Todd reaches down, grabbing Spike by the hair. He drags Spike up to his feet, as Spike still favors at the back of his head. Todd wraps his hand around Spike’s throat, and flings Spike’s arm over his shoulder. Todd plays to the crowd some more…

 

 

 

 

 

…Allowing Spike enough time to hit a back elbow to Todd’s head.

 

 

“Spike is fighting back!”

 

 

Todd shakes off the elbow, but Spike fires off another and another. Todd releases his hold around Spike’s neck. Spike stumbles back, but stays on the attack as he grabs Todd by the hair. Spike drives his elbow into the head of Todd, nearly taking the tag team champion off his feat. Spike pulls Todd’s head into another elbow, and a third one! Spike let’s go of Todd’s hair, allowing the Urban Assault to stumble around for a bit. Spike backs up, and quickly comes charging back in with a spin….

 

 

 

 

 

 

…ROLLING ELBOW!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…. NO! Todd stops the Rolling Elbow with a standing enziguri! Spike completely flips inside out, landing hard on his back.

 

“Todd counters the rolling elbow with that enziguri to the back of Spike’s head! Spike took too much time with that Rolling Elbow, and it cost him.” Comet points out.

 

“Why is he doing that anyway? Does he think he is Danny Williams? Does he think he is Dace Night? I think not!”

 

“There is a lot of thinking involved in that.”

 

“Don’t get your cape in a knot, Comet.”

 

Todd holds his head, trying to shake the cobwebs out of it. He rolls over towards Spike, and places an arm over his chest.

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THR…NO! Spike gets a shoulder up!

 

“The beating that Spike has taken to the head. This shows the will power that he is and how much he wants that title shot at 13th Hour!”

 

“Todd obviously wants it too. I mean, come on. He eliminated Crow with an STF and is nearly on the verge of giving Spike a brain tumor!”

 

 

Todd holds at his head, but stumbles up to his feet. He walks across the ring, and leans against the ropes. He pushes back on the ropes, getting a running start towards Spike. He leaps in the air, and comes crashing down back first across the bare chest of Spike! Todd rolls off of Spike, as he gasps for air to fill his lungs. Todd rolls over, and drives his elbow into Spike’s face with the cover!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE….NO! Spike kicks out!

 

“Todd almost getting the victory with that standing senton! Spike is having a hard time breathing now, not to mention the headache he must have.” Comments Comet.

 

Todd looks at the referee in despair. He yells that it should have been a three count, but gets no response. Todd climbs up to his feet, and heads towards the corner. Some of the crowd pops for the first real highflying antic of the match. Todd steps through the middle and top rope. He climbs up to the middle rope, and makes his way to the top. Spike slowly crawls up to his feet, still feeling the effects of Todd wrecking him the whole match. Spike stumbles into the corner, and unleashes a right punch to Todd. But Todd sees it coming, and blocks it. He counters with his own right hand that sends Spike back. Todd tries to fix himself on the top rope before Spike can actually get back. But it is too late, as Spike reinserts himself with a huge uppercut to Todd’s jaw…

 

 

 

 

 

*CRACK*

 

 

 

Todd stumbles on the top rope. This allows Spike to place Todd’s legs on the inside of the ropes. Spike wraps his arm around Todd’s neck, and wraps Todd’s own arm around his neck. Spike turns towards the ring and with all the energy left in him, flips Todd off the top rope. Todd flips through the air, and crashes back first into the mat!

 

“Cross Arm Iconoclasm! Desperation move out of NOWHERE!” yells out Comet.

 

“Going to the top rope really cost Todd. Let’s see if he can get the control back before Spike picks up the upset.”

 

“Are you seriously rooting for Spike?” questions Comet.

 

“Hey, what can I say? I like the yellow and black shorts he wears.”

 

“Creepy…”

 

Todd lies on the mat, convulsing due to the impact. Spike falls face first to the mat, trying to catch his breath now that he has time alone. The crowd in the arena buzzes with anticipation.

 

“It’s a matter of who can get up first now. Will Spike be able to capitalize, or will he fall to The Urban Assault?”

 

Both men lie on the mat, breathing heavily. Both begin to show little sign of movement, but Spike finally starts to come too. He crawls in towards Todd, placing a dead arm over his chest!

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

NOOOOO! TODDGETSASHOULDERUP!

 

“Amazing how Todd Cortez kicked out of that maneuver. Spike either has to take advantage now if he wants that title shot!”

 

 

Spike stumbles up to his feet, nearly falling over in the process. He gets to a full stance and stumbles backwards into the ropes. Spike looks around the audience and calls out to the crowd, signaling for The Reckoning! Spike walks over, leaning over and grabbing the hair of Todd. Spike drags Todd up to his feet, pulling him into the center of the ring. Spike places Todd’s head in between his legs. He pulls Todd’s arms up into a double chicken wing.

 

“Spike is going for the Reckoning! If he hits this, he will be going to 13th Hour!”

 

Spike keeps his hold locked in on Todd. He attempts to lift Todd up, but Todd pulls all of his weight down. Spike tries lifting him again, but Todd once again pulls all his weight down to block it. Todd struggles underneath Spike and is able to unhook his arms from Spike. Todd pulls out from underneath Spike and quickly kicking Spike in the gut. Spike kneels over, allowing Todd to grab him by the throat. He flings Spike’s arm over his shoulder.

 

“Todd is going for The Urban Assault again!” says an excited Comet.

 

“Will one of them hit their finisher already! Yeesh!”

 

Todd goes to lift Spike into the air for the Urban Assault. But Spike slams his elbow into the side of Todd’s head again. Todd stumbles back, as Spike releases another back elbow to the head. Todd releases his hold on Spike as he grabs at his head. Spike grabs Todd by the wrist and Irish whips him into the corner…

 

 

 

 

…But Todd reverses! Todd reverses the Irish whip and sends Spike back first into the corner. Spike grabs at his back, as Todd charges into the corner. Spike sees him coming, and dodges out of the way causing Todd to charge chest first into the corner.

 

“Spike jumping out of the way of the charging Todd Cortez!”

 

Todd stumbles backwards out of the corner, clutching at his chest. Spike sees the opportunity and comes up from behind Todd. He wraps his arms around Todd’s waist. Spike drops down, pulling Todd backwards down to the mat with a roll up!

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO…Spike pulls Todd up to his feet, with the waist lock still intact. The crowd seems confused as Spike lifts Todd into the air, dropping backwards and driving Todd onto the back of his head with a German Suplex!

 

“Chaos Theory! Used by the great technical wrestler Doug Williams in England! A very odd maneuver used by Spike Jenkins!”

 

Spike holds the bridge on the German Suplex, as the referee dives into place. But instead of keeping the bridge, Spike flips over. Rolling Todd onto his stomach, Spike chicken wings both of Todd’s arms. Spike flips over, landing on his feet, as he locks Todd Cortez in the Cattle Mutilation!!!!!!

 

 

“Cattle Mutilation! Shades of Spike Jenkins’ mentor, ‘The Franchise’ Mak Francis!”

 

“Suck a bittersweet maneuver…”

 

Todd screams in pain, as he tries to struggle out of it. He throws his legs around, trying anything to get out of the painful submission. The exhaustion and repeated attacks by Spike just don’t give Todd too many options…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

…“I QUIT” Todd screams out loud. The referee jumps at the call, and signals for the bell.

 

 

 

*DING DING DING*

 

“It’s over! It’s over! Spike Jenkins is going to 13th Hour to face Johnny Dangerous for the SWF Cruiserweight Championship! I don’t believe it!”

 

Spike releases the hold, and rolls over into the middle of the ring. The referee raises his hand, as Todd rolls out of the ring.

 

“Not Today” starts up again, as Spike rolls out of the ring. He holds his arms in the air, as he celebrates with the crowd.

 

“Fan’s, we have to go to a commercial break. But when we return, the world champion is in action. We’ll be right back!”

[the.weej 0]

Thanks to the SWF, the beautiful Gund Arena is jam packed with thousands of screaming fans tonight. The show is still relatively young, and there’s quite a bit of energy in the air.

 

Comet: Welcome back citizens! Coming your way we’ve the got the World Champion taking on the enigmatic Masked Man in a non title match. This is a huge test of the Masked Man, who may or not may not be a rookie. If he can follow up his huge victory last week with a win over the World Champion, there’s a strong possibility he might get pushed to ICTV title level.

 

Riley: Who is this Masked Man? Why is he here? And most importantly, what’s in the case?

 

Comet: I’m sure those answers will come to light some day, Riley. But than again this is the SWF where we have plot holes than a summer blockbuster.

 

Suddenly, the famous energetic surf rock of “Misirlou” comes blasting out of the loud speakers. Calmly stepping out on to the platform, a odd looking masked man in a suit greets the fans who “boo” him unmercifully. Carrying a mysterious brief case that many men have sacrificed their lives to protect, the Masked Man makes his way down the aisle.

 

Funyon: The following contest is non-title bout and is scheduled for one fall! Introducing first, weighing in at 243 pounds, hailing from Craiova, Romania.....THE MASKED MAN!!!

 

Soon, the laid back rock of Dick Dale and his Del-Tones fades into silence. However this peace and quiet is short lived as heroic chords of the “Jester’s Dance” comes booming throughout the arena. Like brain washed hordes, the fans instantly start a rousing chant of “Dan-e!”.

 

Funyon: And his opponent, also weighing in at 243 pounds, hailing from Louisville, Kentucky.......THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION.....DANNY WILLIAMSsssssssssssss!!!!

 

The fans go ballistic as Danny Williams makes his way out of the locker room, confidently strutting down the aisle like only a Champion. The gold belt glistens in the arena lights as Williams slides into the ring and jumps up on the second rope, soaking in the cheers of adoring fans.

 

Comet: World Champion or not this is a really loud crowd for an under card match.

 

Riley: Williams better get use to the under card because after next Sunday he’s gonna be spending a lot of time there when Janus takes the World Title from him. Besides, now my Tom Flesher is where he rightfully belongs..in the Main Event.

 

The lively crowd makes some noise as the dawn of the match approaches. With both men in their corners, Soapdish quickly calls for the bell.

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

The Masked Man dances his way to the center of the ring, leaving behind a trail of negative charisma. Despite the title not being on the line, Williams is as focused as always as he leaves his corner. The two grapplers turn a few customary circles, eventually coming together in a collar elbow tie up.

 

Comet: This should be an interesting match up, both citizen Williams and the Masked Man are around the same size and weight though I would say the Champion is probably the more athletic of the two.

 

Riley: Yes, yes but what’s in the case? Money? Drugs? The meaning of life? Provocative photos of the Suicide King? I don’t know about you, but my nether regions are dripping wet with anticipation to find out.

 

Though their weight is identical, the roid aided physic of Williams has much more muscle mass and with more muscle mass comes more power. Using this superior power to his advantage, the World Champion backs the Sexual Masakosaurus into the ropes with little resistance.

 

“Break!”,commands Soapdish in commanding fashion.

 

Doing as the official requests, Williams calmly untangles himself from TMM. Appearing to give a clean break, Danny takes a few steps back when suddenly......

 

he examines the Masked Man’s tie. Shaking his head, Danny shoots the so called Sexual Masakosaurus a confused look.

 

Comet: What’s this?! Evidently, Williams does not approve of the Masked Man wrestling in a tie.

 

Riley: Who the hell is Danny Williams to judge? His outfit is soooooooo passe and that hair.. .....why are you looking at me like that?

 

Snatching his tie back, the masked one silently defends his fashion sense by proudly sticking his chest out. Rolling his eyes, Williams backs off and two end up circling again. Getting back in the groove, Williams and the Masked Fury clash together for another grapple. This time, the Masked Man comes out on top with a headlock, but Danny suavely ducks behind him, bending his arm into a painful hammerlock. Yet in the blink of an eye, the Masked Man slips behind Danny, reversing the hammerlock. Though you can’t see his face, it’s obvious the masked one is smirking with confidence.

 

Riley: I’m impressed, this Masked Man is matching the Champion hold for hold.

 

Reaching behind his captors his head, Williams leaps high into the air, using his downward momentum to flip his masked opponent off his back! No matter how many times the fans have seen it, they still can’t do nothing but “oh” in amazement.

 

 

Comet: There’s that dazzling hammerlock escape we’ve seen Williams use time and time again.

 

Ending up on the other side of the ring, TMM hustles to his feet but Williams is right on top of him, swiftly taking him to the mat with a headlock takedown! Bringing up his legs, the Sexual Maskosaurus pries Williams off with a sneaky head scissors but the Champion quickly escapes with a nifty kip up. Not wanting to get caught on his back, the Masked Fury rushes to his feet only to be taking over with a deep armdrag! Danny smoothly applies a tight armbar, but the masked one pulls him off with another head scissors. The Champion uselessly thrashes his legs about for the kip up, but TMM isn’t gonna let him escape so easily this time. The Masked Fury gives a thumbs up to the fans, letting them know that he’s in control.

 

Riley: If they were playing horse, Williams would have just gotten an “H.”

 

Comet: Yes, but the game has only just begun.

 

Knowing that there’s more than one way to escape a head scissors, Williams crawls in front of his captor and performs a cute little head stand. Using his hands, Danny spins off his head like a top, slipping out of the head scissors in jaw dropping fashion.

 

Comet: I’ve never seen that before!

 

Neither have the fans who “oh” and “ah” at the creative escape. After overcoming the initial shock of the breakout, TMM jumps to his feet only to get taking down by a surprise fireman’s carry. But before Williams can do anything, the Masked Fury ties him up with another head scissors.

 

Riley: It looks like the great penis of technical wrestling has ejaculated on the Masked Man as well.

 

Thinking that if it worked once it will work again, Williams tries another head stand, but TMM smartly pushes him back to the canvas. Chuckling under his mask, the Sexual Maskosaurus briefly raises his hands in triumphant. No one likes braggart, so the fans predictable vent their opinion.

 

“Booooooooooooooooooooooo!”

 

Not letting the Masked Man bask in his victory too long, Williams quickly hatches another escape plan. Arching his ass up into the air, Danny starts to bounce his feet from side to side at a increasing tempo. Like a kid trying to hit a pop up gopher in a arcade game, TMM comically attempts to keep up with Williams but it’s no use. Finally shaking the Masked Man off his trial, Danny pops his head up, freeing himself.

 

Comet: But it would appear that the great wrestling penis you speak of belongs to Danny Williams. Oh merciful heavens, I can’t believe I just said that.

 

 

Caught sitting on his ass, the Masked Man is totally at Danny’s mercy, so the World Champion takes full advantage of the situation. Grabbing hold of the Sexual Maskosaurus’ mask, Williams goofily spins it around. The entire arena erupts into hysterical laughter as the blinded Masked Man goes into over acting seizures, tumbling and fumbling around the ring like a mad man until he eventually finds his way to the floor.

 

Comet: Citizen Williams is humiliating the Masked Man.

 

Riley: Hijinks like this has no place in wrestling, Danny Williams is a disgrace to Flesher’s title!

 

Getting his mask turned back around, a very angry Sexual Maskosaurus storms into the ring. Not taken to kindly to being embarrassed on live t.v., an infuriated Masked Fury gives Danny a hard shove. Tempers flare as both men get in each other’s faces, running their mouths like machine guns. Like kids at a school yard fight, the fans childishly encourage the combatants.

 

Comet: This is about to turn ugly.

 

Riley: Good, the Masked Man should slug that punk right in his mouth for what he did.

 

Reaching the boiling point, Danny gives TMM a hard shove, nearly knocking the big man off his feet. Taking this game of push and shove to the next level, the Masked Fury comes back with a razor sharp knife edge chop! In response, the Champion comes back with a cracking elbow! The stiff strike rocks TMM, but that doesn’t stop him from returning fire with a huge right hand! Absorbing the closed first like a sponge, Williams comes back with another elbow!

 

Swooooooosh!

 

A step ahead of the Champion, the Masked Fury ducks the familiar forearm, letting Williams spin wildly out of control! In a shocking turn of events, TMM yanks Danny’s tights down, exposing his bare ass for the world to see! The girls in the audience squill with delight while the men are either laughing or turning away in horror.

 

Comet: Oh my!

 

Riley: I don’t believe it, the Masked Man just pantsed the World Champion!

 

Williams is more stunned now than he was when he got punched, allowing the Masked Fury to knock him over with a short kick to the bum! Red faced with a combination of rage and embarrassment, Danny rolls to the outside, frantically pulling his tights back up. The Masked Man is in stitches letting out an annoying muffled laughter under his hood.

 

Riley: Williams brought this on himself, just because he’s the World Champion he thinks he’s better a wrestler than everybody else.

 

 

Nostrils flailing with rage, Williams paces back and forth on the outside like a wild animal. Calming himself down, Danny cooly gets back in the ring, nodding his head at the Masked Man as if to say,”yeah I probably deserved that.” Resuming their circling, Williams and the Masked Man lock up in the second grapple of the night. Suddenly, Williams breaks said grapple and pops the Masked Fury with a hard elbow smash!

 

Crack! Crack! Crack!

 

Apparently not as forgiving as he made himself out to be, Danny drives the Sexual Maskosaurus into the ropes with a series of cringe inducing elbows! Williams whips his punch drunk foe off the ropes, catching him an Abdominal Stretch as he rebounds back. But instead of working the hold, Williams begins to swiftly unknot the Masked Man’s neck tie.

 

Riley: Just what in the hell does he think he’s doing?

 

Comet: Evidently, citizen Williams is enforcing the dress code.

 

The entire arena collectively chuckles as Danny forcefully removes TMM’s neck tie, who is squirming and screaming like he’s being murdered. Shoving the Masked Fury to the canvas, the Champion playfully twirls the tie over his head like a lasso while encouraging the fans to get as loud as they can.

 

Riley: Ha ha very funny, I’m surprised that caveman even knows how to untie a tie.

 

Knowing that TMM is coming at him like a bat out of hell, Williams quickly hurls the tie into the loudest section of the arena. Infuriated, the Masked Fury jumps out of the ring, chasing after his precious fashion accessory. Stopping at the guardrail, the masked one nervously scans the sea of people, searching for the bastard who took his tie.

 

Riley: Now what right did Williams have to do that?!

 

Comet: Light up Bobbo, the Champion is just having a little fun.

 

Riley: This is theft, a criminal offense. Williams should be hauled out of here in handcuffs, there’s no telling how much that tie cost.

 

Realizing that he’s about to be counted out, the Masked Man temporarily abandons his quest and turns back to the ring.

 

Craaaaack!

 

The fans give a standing ovation as Williams levels TMM with a beautiful Elbow Suicida as he spins around!

 

Comet: The Masked Man should have stayed focus on his opponent instead of worrying about an article of clothing.

 

Riley: Tell that to Williams!

 

After laboriously dragging the limp Masked Man to his feet, the Champion sends him back inside for further abuse. Scaling the turnbuckles, Williams mounts the top rope, patiently waiting for his victim to make the mistake of getting to his feet. Getting the fans into it, Danny rhythmically claps his hands until the thousands in attendance are rabidly doing the same. Delirious, the Masked Man woozily wanders to his feet. On that cue, Williams leaps off the top rope, soaring through the air like Space Ghost!

 

Craaack!

 

Countless camera flashes illuminate the Gund Arena as Williams drops the Masked Man with a beautiful supernatural Diving Elbow! Staying on the move, Williams rolls to his feet and head for the ropes! Bouncing back at his laid out opponent, Danny athletically jumps high into the air, power driving the sharp point of his elbow into the Masked Fury’s chest!

 

Comet: Nobody drops a nicer elbow than citizen Williams!

 

Not taking the Masked Man too seriously, Danny lays across him with a lackluster pin.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

Predictably, the Sexual Maskosaurus kicks out with authority. Williams takes a brief second to catch his breath before jerking his opponent up for some more hard hitting offense. Whipping the Masked Man into the turnbuckles with authority, Williams blindly charges in, crushing his chest with a battering back elbow! Having more than just the wind knocked out of him, a huge glob of spit flies out of the TMM’s mouth, splattering the unlucky official with rain drops of salvia.

 

Comet: Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

 

Riley: Too bad he didn’t get Williams.

 

While a repulsed Soapdish seeks out a towel, Williams whips the Masked Fury out of the corner. However, TMM hangs on to his arm, reversing the Irish whip. Williams crashes back first into the turnbuckles, unable to avoid his charging attacker. Leaping up onto the slumping Champion’s knees, the Masked Man grabs Danny around his neck and rolls backwards, tossing him high into the air!

 

Comet: Perfect Monkey Toss from the Masked Man!

 

Riley: Very rare do you see a heavyweight who’s coordinated enough to execute that move properly.

 

Busted up from the big throw, Williams wearily pulls himself up in the cross corner when the Masked Fury comes charging again! TMM pounces on top of the Champion for another Monkey Toss but Danny catches him by his legs and drops him face first into the top turnbuckle!

 

“Ooooooooooooh!”

 

Bringing his hands to his mouth, the Masked Fury stumbles into a nearby corner. Regaining his senses, the World Champion explodes at his cornered adversary, leaping up on to his knees for a Monkey Toss of his own! With uncommon elegance, Danny rolls backwards, flipping the masked one across the ring! But in a shocking turn of events, the Masked Man masterfully lands on his feet like a cat, leaving the fans awe struck!

 

Riley: Did you see that!?

 

Enraged, Williams rushes TMM who scoops him up as he runs in. The Masked Man exacts some revenge on the Champion by throwing him face first into the top turnbuckle of the corner!

 

Comet: Snake Eyes!

 

Riley: I think it’s safe to say that the Masked Man won that round!

 

Proud of his recent achievements, the Masked Man shamelessly praises himself, really rubbing the fans the wrong way. After taking a few moments to bask in the jeers of the crowd, the Masked Fury climbs out on the ring apron where he ascends the turnbuckles. Balancing himself on the top rope, the Masked Fury does some clapping of his own but the fans “boo” in response. Not worried about the lack of love at the moment, TMM leaps down at his rising target, hooking his neck with a grisly clothesline!

 

Comet: SKY DIVING LARIAT!

 

Riley: This Masked Man is totally showing the Champion up, maybe he should be getting the title shot against Janus next week.

 

Rolling to his feet, the Sexual Maskosaurus swipes his hands out, signaling to the crowd that Williams is done. Rolling the Champion over, the Masked One contorts and tangles Williams’ legs with an inverted Indian Deathlock. Confident that he has Danny right where he wants him, the Masked Man rips off his dress shirt, revealing a toned muscular torso. Placing his hands behind his head, the Sexual Maskosaurus does a little grind, successfully earning the adoration of the women and gay men in attendance.

 

Riley: Wow, now I know why they call him the Sexual Maskosarus! Look at those abs!

 

Finishing his little tease, the Masked Man bridges back, linking his hands around Danny’s chin for the torturous Sickle hold! Screaming in anguish, the Champion feverishly pounds his fists into the mat!

 

Struggling to keep the hold applied, the Masked shouts at the official, “Ask him! Ask him! Ask him!”

 

Sliding to the canvas, Soapdish asks Danny if he wants to call it a night. Far from done, the Champion spits out a muffled,”Nooooooooooooooooooooo!” in response.

 

Comet: The Champion may be in danger of tapping out!

 

Riley: Wouldn’t that be something, a sexy and mysterious masked man coming of nowhere to earn a submission victory over the reining World Champion.

 

Comet: Well it just might happen if citizen Danny doesn’t get to the ropes.

 

Resisting the unbearable pain in his legs, back and neck, Danny digs his nails into the canvas and epically crawls towards the ropes. But the pain is just too great and Williams is forced to stop way short of his goal. Encouraging their hero to battle on, the fans start to wildly chant...

 

“Dan-e! Dan-e! Dan-e!”

 

Still the chant doesn’t seem to be enough to get Danny going so the fans get louder, and louder, and louder until their sonic bombardment reaches deafening levels. Feeding off the electrifying energy of the Gund Arena crowd, Williams finds the strength to make it the rest of the way to the ropes! Untangling himself from the mangled Champion, the Masked Man jumps to his feet with a confused look on his...mask.

 

Riley: Williams survives a close call and the Masked Man can’t believe it.

 

Comet: If the Masked Man wants the submission he needs to concentrate on wearing a particular body part down a little more, because citizen Williams is still too strong to give up at the moment.

 

Guiding the stretched out Champion to his feet, the Masked Man props him against the ropes and gives him a couple of nasty chops for good measure. Taking Danny by the hand, the Masked Man slings him off the ropes with an Irish whip. However, Danny clings to his arm pulling him into a short arm waistlock. With flawless precision, Williams snaps the Masked Man up and around, slamming him into the canvas with a thunderous old school Belly to Belly Suplex!

 

KA-BOOM!

 

Williams maintains the lateral press, holding his stunned opponent down for the pin.

 

Comet: This could be it!

 

 

Thinking what Comet’s thinking, the fans pop out of their chairs and eagerly count along.

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The masked one just barely kicks out, causing the fans to let out a collective sigh. Rolling off his opponent, Danny does a few toe touches, easing the tension in his aching tendons. Delirious, the Masked Man wobbles to his feet when the Champion stealthy grabs him from behind. Without warning, Williams violently snaps back, hurling his victim overhead!

 

Comet: GERMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!!!

 

Bridging on his tippy toes at an extreme high angle, Williams holds the Masked Man in place for another pin.

 

 

“One!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Two!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.....................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As Soapdish begins to bring his hand down, the Masked Fury manages a weak kick out in the nick of time! The series of high impact suplexes and sudden serious tone heats the crowd up considerably.

 

Riley: Williams is gonna have try harder than if he wants to put this Masked Man away.

 

Sorely climbing to his feet, Williams links his hands together and raises them over his head, signaling his favorite finisher!

 

Comet: The Champion, looking to put the Masked Man away with the Powerbomb!

 

The fans come to their feet as Williams casually pulls his battered foe up into a standing head scissors. Linking his hands around the Masked Fury’s gut, Williams effortlessly wrenches him up off the canvas! But before Williams can flip him up on his shoulders, the masked man urgently shifts his weight back to the canvas.

 

Riley: He couldn’t get him up!

 

Releasing his victim, Danny drops back into the ropes for an attack but the Masked Man is ready for him! Using Danny’s momentum against him, the Masked Man catches him by his arm pits, lifting him high off the canvas! Spinning around, the Masked Man drops Danny with a monstrous Sitout Powerbomb!

 

Comet: THE SKY HIGH POWERBOMB! If this move could beat Vladimir Kuzkov at the Battle of Serbia, surely it can defeat Danny Williams!

 

Riley: I don’t know nothing about Serbia, but I think the Masked Man may have gotten the last laugh on the Champion!

 

The fans are left in a state of shock as Soapdish slides to the canvas and starts the count!

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

 

NO, Danny shoots a shoulder off the canvas at the last possible micro second! Relieved, the fans erupt into a gigantic ovation. Wearing a very melancholy look on his face, the Masked Man flops back to the mat in frustration.

 

Riley: I don’t understand it, it beat that Eurotrash guy at World War II.

 

Comet: Vertical Suplexes were also finishers back than too, never under estimate the power of human evolution. Remember, that’s where super heroes come from, that and toxic waste.

 

Looking very glum, the Masked Man rolls Williams on his back, crossing his legs for another Indian Deathlock.

 

Riley: He’s going for that weird submission hold again!

 

Comet: Williams was barely able to escape the Sickle Hold last time and I doubt he has enough energy to repeat history.

 

There is no dance this time as the Sexual Maskosaurus bridges back, grabbing Williams’ head for the chinlock. Resisting, Williams brings up his hands, preventing the Masked Fury from locking the hold on. Going on offense, Danny painfully twists his body around, grabbing a rear chinlock of his own! The fans come to their feet as the Masked Man gags and coughs, appearing to be on the verge of tapping out!

 

Comet: What an innovative submission hold from the Champion!

 

Riley: Looks like a choke to me, nothing innovative about that!

 

Stuck in the bridged position, the Masked Man tries to pull his leg lose but he can’t do it from such a difficult angle. Fading away at a rapid rate, the Masked Fury wildly swings back elbows into Danny’s ribs in a last ditch effort to save himself! The repeated blows add up, forcing Danny to set him free.

 

Riley: How’s that for innovation?

 

Comet: It wasn’t fancy but it did get the job done.

 

Sitting up, the Masked Man frees himself and Danny from the Indian Deathlock. Rubbing his throat and hacking, the Masked Fury behaves like a man he’s about to puke but Danny is starting to make his way to his feet. Running out of options, the Sexual Maskosaurus climbs to the top rope. Once the Champion is on feet, the Masked Man boldly swoops down, swinging out his arm for the Lariat!

 

Bam!

 

Catching the Masked Fury in mid flight, Williams blasts his attacker out of the sky with a sudden jaw dropping Dropkick!

 

Comet: Holy Machpisto!

 

Riley: That looks like it hurt!

 

Putting his own pains aside, the Champion grabs his stunned victim by the arm and ties him up like a pretzel with a surprise La Magistral Cradle! The nuclear hot crowd jumps out of their chairs, screaming along with the official.

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

...........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

Before Soapdish can bring his hand down for the third and decisive time, the Masked Man somehow wiggles his way his free.

 

Comet: What will it take to put this mysterious grappler down for the count.

 

Visibly frustrated, the Champion slams his fist into the canvas. Angrily dragging the Masked One to his feet, Williams drives him into the ropes with some mean spirited elbow smash! Whipping the Masked One off the ropes, Williams rushes to position in the center of the ring. In a stunning twist, the Masked Fury slides between the Champion’s legs, taking him over with a school boy! As if he’s riding an imaginary bicycle, Williams pumps his feet into the air but no matter how much he struggles he can’t get free!

 

 

Riley: Will we see the upset!?

 

Once again, the stunned fans watch in silence as Soapdish starts the count.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THRE-NO! Williams finally kicks out after a great deal of effort but the Masked Fury quickly traps him in a step over armbar. Rolling forward, the Masked Man pins Danny’s shoulders to the canvas with a La Magistral Cradle of his own!

 

Comet: This one is really heating up!

 

Riley: Let’s see Danny worm his way out of this one!

 

The fan’s hearts skip a beat as a sweaty Soapdish starts yet another count.

 

 

One!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

.............

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

 

 

NO! Williams gets a foot in the ropes, bringing the count to a screeching halt!

 

Comet: Not even the Masked Man’s La Magistral Cradle can end the match!

 

Riley: Yeah, but Williams didn’t the ropes to get out of his.

 

Getting the drop on the dizzy Champion, the Masked Fury drives Danny into the ropes with some goofy looking overhand rights. Spitting into his hand for extra power, the Masked Man wallops Williams with the hardest punch yet! The Sexual Maskosaurus shoots the punch drunk Champion off the ropes but Danny reverses!

 

Comet: The Champion, forcefully shifting the momentum back into his favor!

The Masked Man comes speeding back, running right into a suave Mule Kick! Already busted up from the Dropkick, the Masked Man doubles over in agony. Grabbing a quick head scissors, the Champion flips his opponent into the air like he’s weightless!

 

KA-BOOM!

 

Danny brings the Masked Fury down with earth shaking forcing, causing the back of his head to bounce off the canvas at least twice!

 

Comet: POWERBOOOOOOOOOOOMB!!!

 

Folding the masked one in half like a blanket, Danny leans over his broken body for the pin.

 

 

“ONE!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“TWO!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

................

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“THREE!”

 

 

 

 

 

Soapdish calls for the bell and the Gund Arena goes mad!

 

 

Ding! Ding! Ding!

 

Drained from such battling it out in such a fast paced match, a sweat dripping Danny Williams rests on his knee as Soapdish raises his arm in triumph.

 

Funyon: The winner of the match in 10 minutes and 28 seconds.....THE SWF WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION....DANNY WILLIAMS!

 

An outside official hands Williams his precious title, which he may have depart with by the end of the week. Despite the festive atmosphere, the long shadow of Janus looms over Williams, creating a dreadful feeling of impending doom. For what may be the last time, Williams hops up on the second rope, proudly raising the World Title high over his head. Overzealous, the fans give a riveting ovation, hoping that this won’t be the last time they see Danny with the belt.

 

Comet: What an impressive victory for the World Champion, who in just six days will face off against the unstoppable Hell Machine!

 

Riley: Six days away from his death. Danny could barely handle a guy his own size tonight, so what’s he gonna do when he’s in there with the biggest and strongest man in the SWF?

 

Comet: We won’t know for sure into Sunday, Bobbo. Well citizens, we have to take a short break but stay tuned because we’ve still got plenty of action headed your way!

[the.weej 0]

SWF Smarkdown is back on the air in three.

 

Two.

 

One.

 

"RRRRRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

 

The roaring of the fans is the first audible thing as the show explodes back onto the air! The famous Gund Arena of Cleveland Ohio is filled with screaming and cheering fans from ringside all the way up to the rafters, as they're definitely enthralled to be here. They've even got the standard supply of signs to wave about, ranging from "I'm With Stupid" (complete with requisite arrow), to "Get Wild And Dangerous!" to "Dace FUCKING (up) Tom!", just to name a few. But it's not the signs we're here to see, it's the action, and it's this that brings us down towards the announce table where everyone's favourite announcers sit!

 

"Welcome back, citizens and fans! I'm CYCLOOOOOOOOONE COMET, welcoming you back to a stupendously justice-filled edition of SWF Smarkdown!"

 

"And I'm Bobby Riley, if spandex-boy didn't blow out your ears." Riley grumbles.

 

"Don't sound so down, Robert! After the incredible match that pitted reigning champion Citizen Williams against the bizarre Citizen Masked Man, we have another incredible match to feast your eyes on!"

 

"It's time for Tom Flesher?" Riley perks up.

 

"Unfortunately for you, no, Robert." Comet watches his partner deflate. "What we have is the number one contender to the ICTV title cashing in his shot against the current champion!"

 

"And the current contender to the ICTV?" Riley asks boredly, but before he can answer the lights dim out. The crowd hold their breath.

 

"Johnny Dangerous!"

 

"Oh, god." Riley groans.

 

As "After The Flesh" by My Life With The Thrill Kill Kult pumps out of the speakers, the fans rise out of their feet to cheer! Smoke billows from the entranceway, obscuring it in a grey cloud that is only seperated by the tens of strobes that flash through it. Dressed in his usual black attire, hi-tech sunglasses on his face, strides Johnny Dangerous. He pauses on the ramp to blow kisses to a few female fans, then begins to stride down towards the ring.

 

"Ladies and gentlement!" Funyon calls. "The following contest is scheduled for ONE fall, and is for the Intercontinental Television championship! Introducing first, from Las Vegas Nevada... at six-foot-one and two hundred and seventeen pounds..."

 

Johnny reaches the ringside area, and pauses to flick off his glasses and give them to a screaming female fan, who he pats on the cheek and winks at. Then he rolls into the ring, stretching before climbing to the second turnbuckle and lifting his arms into the air to cheers, as Funyon finishes the announcement.

 

"The Barraaaacuuuuuda.....JOHHHHHHNNNNNNY DAAAAAANGEROOOUUUUUUUSSSSS!"

 

As the sound of "After The Flesh" peters out and the lights start to come back up, the Barracuda revels in the cheers of the fans. He ignores the insulting looks and words Bobby Riley is muttering at ringside, and as he hops down off the turnbuckles, the lights drop out. The familiar sound of a buzzing siren fills the air, and a pair of spotlights circle the crowd as the siren wails in synch to the red words still coming into foocus on the Smarktron. As blue fountains of pyrotechnics shower the ramp in azure light, the words become clearly legible.

 

A bell tolls.

 

[sTATUS: RELEASED!]

 

"Consumed with memories...

That preceded today...

Given a chance to bereave...

Life that's slipping AWAY!"

 

The spotlights both swing around to lock onto the stage curtain, as the sound of Fear Factory's "Resurrection" echoes over the crowd. They rain boos down on the stage, and eventually the curtain is swept aside to reveal the Intercontinental Television champion. With his belt slung over his trenchcoated shoulder, Janus stalks out onto the stage with a slight limp. He stands there for several moments, staring down at the ring before beginning his slow, semi-unsteady walk down the ramp.

 

"And his opponent! Hailing from Sydney Australia, at seven-foot-two and three hundred and sixty pounds! He is the reigning SWF Intercontinental Television champion....the Heeeell Maaaaachine....JAAAAAAAAAAAANUUUUUUUUUUUS!"

 

"Revive all my fears!

Revive wasted tears!

Revive void within!

Revive once again!"

 

"Citizen Janus appears to be feeling the effects of that damage over the last few shows, Robert. His left leg appears to be less than one hundred percent!" Comet... comments.

 

"Oh great...that means Johnny can be a worthless scumbag and just attack the weak spot rather than fight like a man."

 

"An advantage is an advantage, my ambiguously gay friend."

 

"I'll hold you to that." Riley muttered.

 

Stepping slowly around the ring, Janus takes the ICTV belt off his shoulder and lays it on the timekeeper's table, then takes his time to remove his trenchcoat. Folding it and placing it next to his gold, he turns those red eyes on the Barracudda and begins to climb the stairs. The secret agent just watches with a slightly cocky grin, flicking his eyes towards the Hell Machine's left leg. Janus simply cracks his right fist in his left palm as he steps into the ring, waiting on referee Matthew Kivell. Said official looks at the Hell Machine, then at the Barracudda, and lifts his hands above his head.

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

Immediatley, Johnny darts low, hands reaching for the Hell Machine's left leg. Janus shifts his stance and swings his right boot up to kick the secret agent away, but the Barracuda dodges back, half-crouched and watching his opponent with that slightly cocky smile. Again, Dangerous darts forward and reaches for the leg, and again the Hell Machine wards him off with a boot. The two circle the ring slowly, watching each other.

 

"It's rather peculiar to see Citizen Janus acting defensive, Robert. He's commonly an all out attacker."

 

"He's not stupid, Comet. He has to keep in shape for his match against Williams, and if he lets Johnny wreck his leg, he's not at one hundred percent."

 

"Very true. I do wonder when he'll go on the attack though..."

 

For the third time, Johnny starts to crouch and move forward, and the Hell Machine warningly lifts his right leg. But the secret agent instead twists to the side, spinning for a perfect roundhouse to the side of the big man's left leg! The Hell Machine immediatley grimaces in pain, bending over to clutch his left knee. This lets the Barracuda leap up and hook Janus' head with his legs, and slam the big Australian's head into the mat with a gullotine face driver! But the seven footer is not one to go down easily, and he slowly starts to rise as Johnny hits the ropes, and takes the Hell Machine straight back down with a beautiful looking running DDT.

 

The crowd cheers Dangerous' actions, as the secret agent kips lithely to his feet, lifting his arms to cheers from the fans. Before his mammoth opponent can start getting up again, the Barracuda drags the giant's left leg up in the air, steps his foot into the joint, and slams both leg and foot down into the mat. The Hell Machine jerks once with a growl of pain, slamming his hands into the mat and pressing himself up. He kicks back with his right leg and catches the secret agent in the stomach, and as Johnny reels back, the seven foot begins pushing himself upright. The camera, naturally, catches him really favouring that left leg.

 

"And Citizen Dangerous shows his ring smarts by going straight after that weakened left leg of Citizen Janus, Robert!"

 

"I still say that's dirty tactics" Riley mutters. "Unfair to make Janus fight with a weakened limb like that!"

 

"Where's your faith in your superstars' abilities, Robert?"

 

"Oh, I believe Janus can cream Johnny, spandex boy, I'm just saying..."

 

Clearly showing no fear of his titanic opponent, the secret agent starts forward, swinging his leg out for a kick to the left knee. Janus bends slightly to catch the boot in his hands, lifting his red eyes to stare into Johnny's face. The secret agent just flashes a charming smile and hops on one foot, but as he kicks into the air for an enzugiri, the Hell Machine lowers his head and releases the secret agent's other foot. The back brain kick misses, and the Barracuda lands on his feet, facing the ropes instead of his opponent. And that's all the time Janus needs to hook one arm, then the other...

 

...and SPIKES Johnny on his head, taking him on a trip to the Sydney Harbour Bridge with a brutal looking released full-nelson suplex! Rolling onto his stomach, the big man straightens up before leaning down to fasten a hand around Johnny's head. The secret agent flails in pain as the Hell Machine drags him up with an iron claw-like hold applied to his face. A snap kick to the giant's left knee makes the big man release the hold, and Johnny holds his face with both hands, wincing in pain. With a grin a mile wide on his face, Janus ignores the pain in his left leg and rears back with his right fist cocked, as the Barracuda tentatively lowers his own hands.

 

*CRUNCH*

 

"By Zeus!" Comet winces. "Citizen Janus may have just broken Citizen Dangerous' face!"

 

"Woo! What a Knuckle Bomb!" Riley chortles. "WIth just two vicious moves, Janus has this match happily under control!"

 

Johnny Dangerous collapses to the mat, both hands held over his face. The Hell Machine simply straightens his arm and shakes out his right fist almost casually, to boos from the crowd. The boos intensify as the giant falls with a huge elbow drop directly into the Barracuda's sternum, for an almost lazy pin attempt, and Matthew Kivell is there to count.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...KICKOUT!!

 

"A testament to a secret agent's will to survive, Robert!" Comet hollers. "Even the brutal power of Citizen Janus can't keep him down!"

 

"This match is barely underway." Riley snorts. "Janus' power nearly put Dangerous out of the game right there and then. He's outclassed."

 

"Who was in control at the start of the match, Robert?"

 

"Who's in control NOW?" the ambiguously gay one shoots back.

 

As Riley taunts his announcing partner, Janus rises and starts to plant heavy right boots into Johnny's ribcage. The secret agent curls up and attempts to roll away, and astonishingly the Hell Machine lets him. The big Australian revels in the boos from the crowd, hunching down against one turnbuckle in classic position for one of his favourite moves. In the middle of the ring, Johnny Dangerous pushes himself upright, blood dripping from his nose and staining the canvas, and looks for his opponent. The Hell Machine explodes out of the corner as quickly as his bad leg will take him, shoulder lowered as the Barracuda whips around... planting a picture perfect roundhouse kick into the charging Australian's face!

 

Janus goes stumbling sideways and crashes into the mat, sprawling on his stomach and holding his head. The secret agent pounces on the fallen monster, grabbing the big man's left leg and dropping one knee into the back of the giant's own. The Hell Machine jerks in pain, and Johnny pulls the leg up with all his might, while pressing his own knee into the giant's left knee joint. Twitching on the mat, the big Australian growls in pain and shakes his head 'no' to questions from Matthew Kivell about giving up. Blood running from his nose, Johnny wrenches back on the leg, yelling at the big man to give it up nice and early. But with frightening upper body power, Janus presses himself upright and begins steadily pulling his way towards the ropes, pulling the Barracuda with him.

 

And so Johnny releases his hold, and watches with a measure of satisfaction as the Hell Machine needs to use the ropes to get back up, left leg shaking slightly. As Janus reaches his vertical base and begins to turn around, the giant is nearly knocked right back down by a hard kick to the side of his left knee. Backing away and light on his feet, Dangerous grins through the blood coming from his nose, before he measures his slowly rising monster opponent.

 

*CRACK*

 

"TIIIIMBEEEEEER!"

 

The crowd roars the word out in approval as the Johnny Kick connects flush with the Hell Machine's chin, sending him toppling over the top rope and all the way to the floor like a giant tree. As the big Australian lands on the mat, Johnny lifts his hands to the crowd and wipes the blood from his nose, still slightly shaken from that Knuckle Bomb. Looking at the fallen monster on the outside as Janus rolls onto his belly, Dangerous waits... and as the Hell Machine draws head level with the ropes, the Barracuda moves! Absolutely fearless, the secret agent charges and grabs the top rope, swinging his body between the ropes to smack the giant in the head with a dropkick before letting go and dropping to the floor!

 

"Look at Citizen Dangerous go, Robert!" Comet exults. "He's taken the match back into his favour with some hard blows and that fearless secret agent dedication we all know and love!"

 

"He just got lucky, Comet." Riley mutters. "If Janus didn't have a bum leg, AND if Johnny hadn't luckily turned around earlier..."

 

"Luck? Instincts, my good man! Citizen Dangerous knew Citizen Janus was coming and took full advantage of it."

 

Sitting in a seeming stupor on the ground after that dropkick, Janus doesn't react as Johnny grabs a handful of hair. The secret agent tilts the Hell Machine's head back, and wipes some more blood from his nose. He then clenches that fist and starts to hammer punches into the giant's head, while in the ring Matthew Kivell starts the obligatory ten count as both men are outside the ring!

 

ONE!!

 

TWO!!

 

Johnny slams a particularly vengeful punch into the bridge of the Hell Machine's nose, and that seems to jerk the big Australian back into action.

 

THREE!!

 

The unfocused red eyes snap back to life in a mere second, and the monster slams his head into Johnny's nose!

 

FOUR!!

 

The secret agent reels back with a cry of pain, but Janus has his hands on Johnny's waist and just stomps forward, crushing the secret agent back first into the apron with a short-range GORE! Johnny cries out in pain and clutches his spine, slumping down to the ground.

 

FIVE!!

 

Limping on his bad leg, Janus snorts at the Barracuda and grabs the top rope, pulling himself up onto the apron.

 

SIX!!

 

As the big man steps into the ring and limps on his left leg, the crowd hesitates for a moment before bursting into cheers. The Hell Machine raises an eyebrow before realising the noise isn't for him, and swings around towards where he left Johnny Dangerous, but the secret agent isn't there. Instead, he catches a flash of black shoes as the fearless Barracuda leaps off the top rope and plants a beautiful missile dropkick into the giant's jaw, sending the big man crashing to the mat! But Johnny doesn't kip up this time - he lies on the mat and grimaces in pain, holding his back. Janus on the other hand is already sitting up, but he rubs his jaw with one hand, and keeps the other resting on his weakened left knee.

 

"Hmm, Ciizen Janus perhaps attempting to win by count out there, but his plan failed when he failed to account for Citizen Dangerous' resiliency, Robert!"

 

"Win at any cost, Comet. Win at any cost." Riley replies sagely.

 

He doesn't make a move to rise straight away, he just looks at the fallen secret agent for a moment before slowly and carefully dragging himself upright. Seeing his opponent move out of the corner of his eye, Johnny rolls onto his stomach and begins to rise as well, but that turns out to be a bad idea as a huge right hand clamps around his throat! Before the Hell Machine can nail the chokeslam, Dangerous simply kicks the giant's left knee, eliciting a growl of pain from his opponent. Releasing his chokehold and stumbling back a little to nurse his left knee, the Hell Machine glares into the eyes of the Barracuda.

 

Johnny just smiles that infuriatingly calm secret agent smile, despite the pain in his body and the blood on his face, and motions the giant to bring it on... a motion Janus is too happy to agree with! But as he stomps forward, the Barracuda hooks a drop toe hold and brings the big man crashing back down to the mat. With his legs still hooked around the big man's left, Dangerous uses his legs to lift and slam that left knee of the Hell Machine into the canvas again, before releasing him and rising up.

 

"And Citizen Dangerous again striking out at that left leg! I have to wonder even at this point, how much that poor knee can take!"

 

"He's picking at an injury! He should get disqualified right this instant! I must commend Janus for challenging while injured - what a fighting champion he is!"

 

"Just moments ago you said it was unfair of Citizen Dangerous to pick on it, and now you're praising Citizen Janus for coming out with it!"

 

"Janus is a fighter, Johnny's just a cheat." Riley snorts.

 

Rolling over onto his back, the Hell Machine pulls himself up into a corner to guard his left leg from harm. Slouched there, he stares with a grim smile at both the referee and Johnny Dangerous, the first whom is trying to restrain the second while pointing that Janus is in the ropes. The crowd boos the seven footer as he rests his left knee, and the Barracuda tries to push his way past Kivell to get to the giant. Kivell insistently fights to keep Dangerous away, at least until he glances over his shoulder to see the standing giant. The referee ducks aside, and Johnny charges forward straight into a thunderous boot to the face.

 

In true style, the Hell Machine hits the ropes and follows up the boot with a huge legdrop, making sure to use his good leg! But he doesn't stop there, rolling to his feet and hobbling a little, before dragging Johnny upright as well. With a tremendous heave, Janus whips the Barracuda into the ropes and pivots on his good leg, spinning around for a beautiful looking rolling lariat... that Johnny manages to avoid by a hair's breadth! While the big man gathers his bearings, the secret agent hits the ropes and goes low, with a baseball slide to the back of the Hell Machine's left knee! Immediatley, the giant drops to his good knee, nursing the bad one as the Barracuda kips to his feet. Holding his back with one hand and wiping blood from his nose with the other, Johnny considers his next course of action.

 

While the secret agent contemplates, Janus feels out his left leg and slowly begins to rise. Having being waiting patiently, Dangerous springs into action, slamming a clothesline into the Hell Machine's chest. The move has absolutely no effect whatsoever on the glowering giant, who cocks his arm back to show the Barracuda how a lariat is done. But Johnny ducks under the swing, hooking the arm and the Hell Machine's bad leg, swinging him up into the air... around ...and OVER THE TOP ROPE TO THE FLOOR WITH THE MI SLAM! Janus hits the ground square on his back!

 

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

"HOLY SHIT!"

 

"And with one huge momentum changer, Citizen Dangerous throws Citizen Janus clear out of the ring with one massive MI Slam! But he can't win the title on countout, so he's going to the outside! Citizen Janus HAS to be hurting and winded from that one!"

 

"If he's hurt and winded and has a bad leg... oh my god, Johnny could actually win this." Riley cringes.

 

"Your cringing commentary could be right, my ambiguously gay cohort!"

 

Matthew Kivell doesn't bother with the ten count, as the Barracuda drops to the thin matting and starts heaving the Hell Machine up. Three hundred and sixty pounds isn't exactly light, and when it's dead weight it's even harder. Despite the pain in his arms and back as he strains, Johnny manages to lift Janus up just enough to start sliding him under the bottom rope. The crowd begins clapping and chanting for the Barracuda as he forces the Hell Machine back into the ring and slides in after him. With the crowd cheering in his ears, the secret agent falls forward across the big Australian's torso, making sure to hook the bad leg.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....SHOULDER UP JUST BEFORE THREE!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

"Janus rules!" Riley exults.

 

"Johnny didn't do enough work on Citizen Janus' back. He's been busy focusing on the leg." Comet reminds us sagely.

 

Johnny slams his hands down on the mat, brushing away dried blood from his face before staring up at Kivell and demanding that it was a three. The referee simply shakes his head and points to the massive right arm thrusting up off the canvas. Shaking his head, the Barracuda almost looks like he's ready to cry, but then he looks down at the monstrosity before him, and then at the bad leg. And an idea forms. He picks up the bad leg with a grin, and twists around it... before falling to the side and locking on one of the most deadly submissions used in the SWF! The crowd rises to its feet with a roar of approval as Janus shoots to life, sitting almost straight up with an inarticulately pained cry.

 

"Not only does Citizen Dangerous show use of the jujigatame, or cross armbreaker last show, he also knows the hiza-jujigatame, or cross kneebreaker!" Comet shills excitedly.

 

"When the hell did Johnny get so technical?" Riley cries. "Poor Janus looks like his leg is going to break!"

 

"The cross kneebreaker is a legitimately dangerous hold, Robert. Unless Citizen Janus gives up, Citizen Dangerous COULD very well break his leg with the move."

 

And thus, for the first time in his life Bobby Riley finds himself chanting against the heelish Janus, begging him to tap out so he doesn't lose his leg. In the ring, the Hell Machine slams his hands into the canvas with a snarl, the excruciating pain searing through his left leg. He needed that leg to face Danny at 13th Hour - but he wasn't willing to give up the title he already had for it.

 

"Give it up, you psycho!" Johnny screams. "I can break your goddamn leg!"

 

Janus' hands lift off the mat again, trembling, as he looks around... leaning to one side as far as he can, arm stretching...

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

 

...and wrapping his fingers, just barely, around the bottom rope! Immediatley, Matthew Kivell orders the Barracuda to break the hold, and Johnny does so with great reluctance. He rises to his feet, still aching but feeling triumphant, as the Hell Machine drags himself to the ropes and tentatively rises. Putting as little weight as possible on his left knee, the limping giant stares a hole through the grinning, bloody-nosed Barracuda. Johnny feels self assured, confident that now he's almost completely taken out one titanic leg, that the match is in his favour. Turning away, the Barracuda bolts into the ropes and comes rocketing back towards the Hell Machine.

 

But before he can fling his body into a dropkick or a clothesline, the slightly crouched Hell Machine's arms snap out to grab hold of the secret agent's belt. With a massive heave, the unsteady giant pushes up to his full vertical base, pulling Johnny straight up into the air with him. Staring up with bloody red eyes, left leg shaking under him, the giant only has one thing to say.

 

"FUCK YOU, DANGEROUS!"

 

And Johnny Dangerous comes flying back down.

 

In a very high-angle powerbomb.

 

Right on his head.

 

*CRUNCH*

 

"HAAAAAAAAA!" Riley shrieks like a girl. "DARK BOMB! JANUS JUST KILLED JOHNNY WITH THE DARK BOMB!"

 

"The Dark Bomb..." Comet trails off. "Citizen Janus just murdered Citizen Dangerous with his favoured variation of the powerbomb..."

 

Johnny is crumpled over on the mat like an accordion, and after several long moments, finally flops over onto his belly. The crowd lets the Hell Machine have it with boos as the giant drops to one knee, cradling his left, and rolls Johnny over. He leans his full weight across the Barracuda's ribcage and looks up with almost glowing red eyes at Kivell.

 

ONE!

...

....

.....

TWO!!

...

....

.....

THREEEEEEEEE!!!

 

*DING DING DING*

 

 

As "Resurrection" belts its way out of the speakers, the Hell Machine rolls across the canvas and out to the floor, still limping on his bad leg. Ignoring Matthew Kivell, the giant throws his trenchcoat on and retreieves the Intercontinental Television title himself, before beginning a steady limp backstage. Funyon tentatively rises to his feet to make the obligatory announcement.

 

"Ladies and gentlemen, the WINNER of this bout, and STILL Smartmarks Wrestling Federation Intercontinental Television chaaaaampion......the Hell Machine.....JAAAAAAAAANUS!"

 

"Revive all my fears!

Revive wasted tears!

Revive void within!

Revive once again!"

 

"Citizen Janus nearly kills Citizen Dangerous to keep his gold, and now he goes into 13th Hour a champion!"

 

"I always knew he would." Riley smirks. "And when he's through with Danny, he'll be the first ever to hold both ICTV and World belts, you watch."

 

"I'm not so sure of that, Robert. Once we come back from commercial, citizens and fans, we have one of the most insane looking tag matches to date coming up! The heroic trio of Nathanial Kibagami, Dace Night, and Ryan Dustin team up against the nefarious group of Toxxic, Tom Flesher, and Ace Lezaire"

 

As the referees check on the groaning Johnny Dangerous, the Hell Machine limps his way up the ramp with the ICTV title wrapped over one shoulder. He feels the pain in that left leg, and he knows he has a very vulnerable weakness going into his match against Danny Williams at 13th Hour. He also knows that Danny is far, far better at applying the cross kneebreaker than Johnny Dangerous. He knows the battle will not be as easy as he initially thought.

 

But he had survived tonight, with both leg and title intact.

 

And at 13th Hour, he would do the same again. It was all a matter...

 

...of time.

 

Fade to commercial.

[the.weej 0]

This here comes after the ICTV Title match.

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

The scene is SWF Smarkdown, fresh after the thrilling Intercontinental-Television Championship match. The backstage area is empty, for some odd reason (I mean, it's a wrestling show, shouldn't wrestlers be backstage?) Regardless, some slow footsteps can be heard, and then a voice. A rough, Eastern European voice, to be exact. To be even more specific, that same voice is singing to Nelly's "Air Force Ones".

 

I said gimme two perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I need two perrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

So I can get to stompin' in my air force ones

Stompin' in my air force ones

 

I like the all white high top straps with the gum bottom

There's somthin' about 'em that's dirty that's why I got 'em

I leave 'em strapped and laced and come up out 'em

The last person that touched 'em I been shot 'em

 

Finally, Masked Man appears, visibly beaten and shaken. He's bruised, broken, and dismembered (the last one is only mental), but he's still walking with his head held high. He has one hand in his pants and one on his briefcase, when, all of a sudden, out of NOWHERE-

 

 

*BOOOOOOM!*

 

 

-he TRIPS over a stack of POST-IT notes and FALLS on his masked FACE! The stack of Post-it notes scatters EVERYWHERE, and Masked Man gets to his feet, embarrassed!

 

"I am terribly sorry! Terribly sorry, I do not know what I was doing, I just happened to trip and slip, fall on my fa-"

 

The Sexual Maskosaurus stops himself, however, when he sees one, small, GLIMMERING PINK post-it note on the ground! Slowly, cautiously, he picks it up and reads it!

 

"I know you're disappointed, I know you're pissed off, and to save you a trip to my office, yes, I know that Danny is still a virgin. Nevertheless, you are booked for the pay-per-view. Against five men. In a

 

FIVE

 

WOUNDS

 

GAUNTLET.

 

 

-Zenon"

 

Masked Man's face is washed over in shock and surprise.

 

"Oh...my goodness. Oh, sweet motherly mercy of heaven above...oh, Lord Jesus..."

 

A homely janitor...no, wait, that's Michael Craven, turns the corner, and Masked Man quickly stuffs the post-it in his pants. As soon as Craven is distracted by the nearest television, Masked Fury removes the post-it from his nether regions and begins looking at it again, eyes as wide as saucers.

 

"This...is unbelievable...

 

 

...

 

 

...

 

...Alexander Zenon has the most beautiful handwriting I've ever seen!"

 

With that, he places the post-it against his masked nose, deeply inhaling its scent. He then stuffs it back into his pants, before turning on his iPod and walking away, singing harmoniously!

 

So, look here

I put her on the back of my bike

And-a we went riding

Down by old man Johnson’s farm

 

I said now, overcast days never turned me on

But something about the clouds and her mixed

 

She wasn’t 2 bright

But I could tell when she kissed me

She knew how 2 get her kicks

 

She wore a

Raspberry beret

The kind u find in a second hand store

Raspberry beret

And if it was warm she wouldn’t wear much more

Raspberry beret

I think I loooooooove her!

 

 

THE END!

[the.weej 0]

As Lockdown returns from a commercial break we are LIVE! in the world famous (if you happen to work for the SWF) Gund Arena, which is packed to the rafters as ever. Meanwhile, in the ring stand a be-draggled figure that would be noticeable to those people who actually watched the SJL in it's closing months...obviously not the majority of the crowd, who seem apathetic to the guy in the ring. As he seems to be warming up for some sort of action, the camera zooms over to Cyclone Comet and Bobby Riley at the announce table, ready and primed to do what they do mediocrely...announce.

 

"Greetings my T.V land homosapiens!" beams Bobby, fake smile etched on his face. "You're tuned into SWF Lockdown...the T.V show that's Maximum Action, No Filler...at least until now."

 

"That sounded far too familiar..."

 

"Relax. With all the free advertising we're giving the wonderfully nutritious and in no way fattening Pepsi Max, there's no WAY they would DREAM of suing our asses!"

 

"What's with the fake smile Bobbo?"

 

"Botox..."

 

 

 

 

"Moving right along...as you may or may not realise, the man in the ring happens to be the last ever SJL Television Champion Brian Bowers. He was in the area, and as so many non-SWF workers have so foolishly done, he came to the arena and asked for a match. TokyoX...J.T Playa...David Blazenwing..."

 

"No, he actually works for us."

 

"Ah, yes...so he does. Anywho...tonight Bowers gets his match. I guess Citizen Zenon was in a good mood for once."

 

"Not neccessarily. These enhancement guys are a lot cheaper than the regular workers..."

 

"Brian Bowers is far from enhancement talent. He was, after all, the last eve..."

 

Comet is cut off by the lights dropping around him...and the slow intro of Incubus' "Megalomaniac" starting up, to a tumultitude of boos. The pace begins to pick up as through the darkness the figure of Bowers warming up unaffected can just about be seen...

 

 

"PREPARE...FOR...LANDON!"

 

...WAAAAAHHHHH...

 

*DUM DUM*

 

The booming voice and wailing opening prompt the crowd into more boos, as blue strobes illuminate the stage and bring out the SWF USJL Triple Crown Champion to the stage...Megan Skye following behind, clutching his three belts. Maddix meanwhile has a microphone in his hand, and through the blue light can be seen telling the production crew to cut the music and bring up the lights. They comply, and now only the boos of the Gund Arena fill the air as Landon glares out into the crowd.

 

"LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!"

 

"If I could please...have your attention." Maddix shouts, still getting chanted at. "Toni...SHUT THE HELL UP! I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SAY TODD-DAMN IT!!!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

The boos hit Landon like dead babies hitting a wall, forcing him to shout to get his message across.

 

"Tonight...I have proven myself to be a loyal, trustworthy and downright caring SWF employee...by turning up to this hell-hole...on my night off. Despite having dinner plans with some rather important people, who's names I'd rather not discuss right now, I am here tonight...to fight."

 

"Praise Todd!" beams Riley needlessly.

 

"Due to the fact...that in six days time I will be involved in a Sixty Minute Ironman Match, and defending my coveted Triple Crown of titles...myself and my opponent, Alan Clark, were offered the night off. We didn't have to compete. We could sit at home and rest up. Or get in some extra training. Alan Clark, as you can probably tell from the fact you haven't seen his creepy ass out here tonight, accepted that offer from Commissioner Zenon. He didn't want to wrestle in front of you people. Me? Well...neither did I, because quite frankly you people didn't deserve it!"

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"But, being the competitor that I am, I turned up here tonight. I'm not going to take the easy way out like Alan Clark has...I'm here to prove that while he's sat in his hotel room drinking six pack after six pack of cheap beer, I...the Triple Crown Champion...am at the PEAK of my physical condition. I'm 5'10"...two ten...slim, trim and better than him. Clark...put down the potato chips, throw down your thick shake and take some notes!"

 

Turning to the ring, Maddix sneers at Bowers, who is leaning over the ropes and watching all this with interest.

 

"Brian...Bowers. Funny that I should be your opponent, huh? You ever here of a little thing called...karma?"

 

"Wasn't he the Ultimate Fighting Machine..." mumbles Riley.

 

"Close..." sighs Comet.

 

"For those of you who don't realise, this guy in the ring played a big part in my life. Back in the SJL, I was a phenomenon. From the moment I stepped in the door, I owned that place. Eight matches...from my debut, I went EIGHT matches unbeaten. The SJL stood up and took notice. And then...along came Gramps here. If it wasn't for Brian Bowers, I would likely have gone nine...ten...who knows how long unbeaten. If it wasn't for Brian Bowers, I would have been the longest reigning SJL Television Champion in the history of the SJL. If it wasn't for Brian Bowers, I would have been the last ever SJL Television Champion...and if it wasn't for Brian Bowers...I would probably be holding FOUR belts right now. So Bowers, tonight karma's gonna kick you in your old ass! When I heard you were looking for a match tonight, I jumped at the chance. Payback's are a bitch Gramps..."

 

Slamming down the mic, Maddix strolls the rest of the way down the ramp as Bowers quickly removes his black duster jacket and tosses it to the floor, no valet to take it for him any more...those women cost some major biggies. Rolling into the ring, Landon scrambles to his feet as Bowers holds his hands up, backing off and allowing Landon as much time as he wants to get match-ready.

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

The bell is ordered to be rung by shot-straw drawing referee Sexton Hardcastle, as Maddix continues to glare at Bowers. The older Bowers meanwhile loosens himself up before walking forward...where both he and Maddix lunge into a collar-and-elbow tie-up. The stronger Bowers is able to push Landon back and gradually push him step by step towards the corner, but before he can get the Triple Crowner there Landon breaks free and scoots behind, pushing Brian into the buckles and holding his hands cockily out immediately. Bowers turns around, and looks at Landon with ANGST~! as Maddix simply shrugs his shoulders and grins.

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"It looks as if Citizen Bowers is going to be the fans' man here tonight, if only by default."

 

"That's only 'cause the fans are jealous of Maddix."

 

"I doubt that."

 

Again Bowers moves into another lock-up and starts to push Maddix back across the ring. Sure enough Maddix scoots behind and prepares to push Brian away, but that's what he was waiting for...promptly mule-kicking Maddix below the belt, to a fair few cheers from the crowd! Landon drops to his knees, but is pulled up moments later...

 

*SLAP!*

 

"WHOOOO!"

 

...and chopped viciously across the chest. Bowers follows that up with a right hand to the face, rocking Landon back a step which gives Bowers a run up for a short lariat. Landon manages to duck that attempt, but Bowers carries on to the ropes and aims a second lariat...again ducked by the deft Triple Crowner. This time though Landon has thought ahead, slamming a forearm into the back of Bowers' head sending him stumbling forward. Quickly Landon runs past Bowers, hitting the ropes and rebounding with a flying forearm to send Bowers flying out of the ring!

 

"Nice speed and quickness from Landon." observes Comet. "But how long can he utilise that in a sixty minute match?"

 

Pulling himself up, Bowers looks a little dis-orientated...possibly not used to taking the punishment of the SWF after his lengthy absence. Meanwhile Maddix is once again on the run, charging right towards Bowers who turns around slowly...

 

...unable to stop Maddix diving out on him, with Reckless-A-Landon!

 

"GORGEOUS!" erupts Riley.

 

"You...you were talking about the move, right?"

 

"Of course I was!"

 

Dislike or not, the fans can't help but applaude the high-risk move. Of course, Landon could care less about the crowd's responce...too busy mugging for the camera after the impressive move. Behind him Bowers is beginning to stir, Landon spotting it turns from the camera and grabs his opponent, tossing him back into the ring.

 

Following in, Maddix quickly drives a boot to the gut of Bowers before pulling him up and nailing a forearm. Bowers retaliates with a quick kick to the gut however, and whips Landon into the corner...charging straight in after him. Hearing Bowers coming, Maddix wisely slides underneath the bottom rope before Brian can get to him, forcing Brian to stop in his tracks. Boos hit the Triple Crowner for his less than brave actions, as Megan Skye scuttles over and checks on her man's well-being...which obviously is fine.

 

"LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS! LANDON SUCKS!"

 

The chants return to the air, frustrating Maddix slightly as he orders Hardcastle to move Bowers back. Reluctantly Bowers is ordered to retreat before Maddix enters, adjusting his kneepads to buy himself some more time before Bowers moves in...and gets a thumb to the eye!

 

"What magnificent reflexes." drools Riley.

 

"Oh...nevermind the blatant cheating..."

 

Bowers clasps his hand over his eye, as Maddix quickly looks to calm the action and wraps on a side headlock. This gives the crowd the opportunity to re-group their breaths ready for their next verbal onslaught...and Maddix chance to plan out his next moves. Bowers doesn't take long in punching his way out of the hold, before pushing Landon off into the ropes. Coming back Maddix goes for a clothesline, which Brian ducks...waiting for Maddix to turn back around before driving a hard-knee into the gut. Now it's Bowers' turn to snap on a side headlock...and the crowd are starting to get impatient. Luckily for them, Maddix escapes from the headlock quickly, hooking under Bowers' arms before he can react and taking him up into the air...

 

...and promptly down to the mat, with a Jack-o-Landon!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

"Interesting stuff here from Citizen Maddix. Very much a more controlled style of wrestling...something that he'll need to utilise in the Ironman Match if he hopes to make it to the end without wearing himself out."

 

Looking over to his valet, Landon exchanges a grin with The Toddess before crawling over to Bowers and making a relaxed cover...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

...easy kickout.

 

Not bothered, Maddix gets back up and brings Bowers up with him...scooping Bowers up with a little trouble before slamming him to the canvas. Straight away Landon strolls to the corner, taking his sweet time about making a climb to the top rope, as meanwhile Bowers is pulling himself to his feet. La Cucaracha reaches the top and pauses, as Bowers is up and looking confused as Maddix seems to have disappeared. He's soon to re-appear though, as Brian turns around near enough for Maddix to shoot off the top and crash head-first into Bowers!

 

"Prepare For Landon!" booms Comet. "Bowers certainly was not."

 

"On this performance, I don't understand how Bowers could have beaten Maddix...ever!"

 

"Hey, don't count Brian Bowers out. He was the last ever SJL Television Champion..."

 

"So you've said."

 

Again Maddix doesn't seem in any rush to do anything...perhaps seeing this match as no more than some extra cardio training. This gives a groggy Bowers the opportunity to clamber back to his feet pretty quickly, although no more than that. Strolling over, Landon suddenly stops and breaks into a spin...bringing around a roaring elbow which connects to the BUTT of Bowers' jaw and knocks him to a seated position. A basement dropkick to the face moments later drops him from there to his back, where Maddix makes another relaxed cover...

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

...shoulder up.

 

As Bowers starts to get up, Maddix wrap on a reverse chinlock, much to the displeasure of the crowd. Landon however is determined to wrestle in a more controlled style ahead of 13th Hour, and as such keeps the chinlock on. And hey...it's not like he cares about the crowd anyway. Infact, Maddix even manages a smile as he hears the crowd's apathy sweep towards him.

 

"A...nice chinlock..." sighs Comet, before yawning mockingly. "...very nice move."

 

"Oh yes, jest now. You'll be laughing on the otherside of your mask after 13th Hour."

 

"We shall see."

 

Landon wrenches back on the hold which is still being met with heel Charlie Matthews levels of apathy...and just as it did for him, is beginning to turn into some more vocal dis-approval. As it does though, Bowers begins to power up to his feet and look for an escape. Firing elbows Bowers looks to wear out the grip around his neck, not stopping until Maddix finally releases...but the Triple Crowner recovers quickly, and changes tact to a side headlock on Bowers.

 

"BOOOOOOOR - IIIIING!

 

BOOOOOOOR - IIIIING!

 

BOOOOOOOR - IIIIING!"

 

And THERE are the chants. Maddix turns his head inquisitively to the unfamiliar chants, smiling to himself as he tightens up the headlock. Bowers promptly drops to his knees with Maddix in total control, and as such loving every moment of it.

 

"I think Maddix may be enjoying this 'relaxed' wrestling a little too much." mutters Comet.

 

"Oh...it was ok when Charlie Matthews was doing it."

 

"Yes, but Citizen Matthews wasn't five ten, two hundred ten pounds and couldn't pull off death-defying moves. Maddix can...it seems that he'd rather annoy the crowd though."

 

"He's just preparing for 13th Hour...that's all."

 

Relaxing into his dominance, Maddix seems in complete control. However in his cockiness, Maddix relaxes too much and is subsequently shoved off the headlock and into the ropes by Bowers. As Landon shoots back Bowers ducks his head for a backdrop...

 

...far too early, as Maddix simply puts the brakes on and pulls Bowers into position for a powerbomb. The Triple Crowner flips Bowers upside down...and quickly steps over both of Brian's arms, taking a moment to yell something inaudible out to the crowd before falling forward, and driving Bowers to the mat with the Disciple Clash!

 

"BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

 

Despite the sudden pick-up in action the crowd still boo Maddix, who remains on his knees with the face-down Bowers knocked out beneath him. And clearly he's done fighting, as he slowly turns over bringing Bowers over with him into a sunset flip style pin...

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

NO! Landon turns again, bringing Bowers back off his shoulders!

 

"Oh no...we're not done here!" beams Riley.

 

Hardcastle looks confused as Maddix slowly gets back up, bending down and dragging the still KOed Bowers up to his knees. The crowd are booing the Triple Crowner once more...but Landon resists the temptation to lock on another headlock, and slowly begins to drag Bowers towards the corner. Once there, Landon hops to the middle rope as Bowers slumps into him. With time, Maddix reaches to the outside and is passed the towel from Megan...using it to wipe his brow theatrically.

 

"ALAN CLARK! ALAN CLARK! ALAN CLARK!"

 

Landon grins at the chants ringing around the Gund Arena...passing the towel back down to Megan, before springing instantly off the ropes, taking Bowers down with him with the Crash Landon!!!

 

"Crash Landon!" Riley calls. "Ring the bell, it's over!"

 

And sure enough, Landon pulls Bowers away from the ropes before placing a cocky hand on his chest as Hardcastle makes the academic cover...

 

 

 

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

 

 

THREE!

 

...to end the match.

 

 

*DING DING DING!*

 

Still pressing his hand onto Bowers' chest, Landon starts to yell Alan Clark's name into the nearest camera whilst "Megalomaniac" is cued.

 

"Your winner of the match...the USJL Triple Crown Champion...LANDON "LA CUCARACHA"... MAAAAAAADDIIIIIXXXX!!!"

 

Still yelling, Maddix is interrupted by Megan Skye...shoving Hardcastle aside and raising Maddix's arm into the air before laying his three belts at his knees.

 

"A walk in the park for Landon." says Riley satisifed. "And look...he's not even broke a sweat. Sixty minutes? No problem."

 

"Well...it was an impressive win. But Bowers has been out of the ring for months. Alan Clark has not...and you can bet that he'll be ready for 13th Hour..."

 

 

Comet stops short as Maddix has clambered to his feet and demanded a microphone, which is hurriedly being handed his way from ringside. Bowers is shephered uncerimoniously from the ring by referee Hardcastle, who makes himself scarse too...allowing Maddix to step in, centre stage.

 

"Ya see Clark..." sneers Maddix, trying to hide his breath. "...it's all about...conditioning. Another victory for La Cucaracha...and I haven't even broke a sweat! You were the man who wanted the Ironman Match. You were the man who thought...foolishly...that he could go 'The Hour' with Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix. Well...in six days...you will regret even daring to suggest such a match."

 

Pointing to the collection of championship belts laying at his feet, Maddix grins like a chesire cat on speed.

 

"I am...this country's sole Triple Crown Champion. Do you really think you have what it takes to prise these belts from my grasp. It's more likely Alan...that you'll have to prise these belts from my stone cold hands...because over my dead body is the only way you'll get these titles from my posession. But rest assured Alan...although someday, these belts may worm their way into your possession...my pride will NOT! I will bleed...I will sweat...I will overcome physical agony and overwhelming exhaustion. And all to say..."I am better than you Alan Clark". Ask Coy West if it takes Sixty Minutes to hit the Drug Of Maddixtion. Ask Edward James if it takes Sixty Minutes to play that oh so sweet...Disciple Music. And while you're there..."

 

With an even larger grin, Maddix glares dead-fast at the nearest camera...

 

"...ask them if you stand a chance in hell of defeating me!"

 

Thearically Maddix slams down the mic, and hurriedly scoops up his title belts whilst "Megalomaniac" is re-started.

 

"Strong words from the USJL Triple Crown Champion..." mutters Comet. "...but words alone will not be enough to survive the Sixty Minute Ironman Match, this Sunday at 13th Hour. Folks...we'll be right back after this short break."

[the.weej 0]

The camera shot shows the inside of a locker room. It remains still for a moment, then the red-haired face of Ace Lezaire pops up in front of it.

 

“Aah, Steve,” he says jovially. “We’re here in the locker room of the BEST six-man tag team in the HISTORY of the SWF, and right over here is one of my PARTNERS-”

 

“Shut up, moron,” Toxxic snaps, cracking his neck from side-to-side as he leans against the wall. “If this is the best six-man team ever, it ain’t cos you’re on it.”

 

“No,” an infuriatingly smug voice is heard, and Tom Flesher drifts into the room through the door, accompanied as ever by the demure Allison Onita. “It’s because I’m on it, and don’t you rookies forget it!”

 

“Piss off, Flesher,” Toxxic responds, taking a swig from his water bottle before restoppering it and shoving into the black holdall hanging from a peg behind him. “Or better yet, come down to the ring with us, get your arse kicked all over the place by Dace Night, watch me pin Kibagami and then piss off.”

 

“Toxxic,” Flesher says, giving the rookie his full attention for the first time. “Long time no see. In fact, the last time I saw you up close, it must have been...” Tom gives a little laugh, as if only just remembering, “...it must have been right after Grand Slam and I beat you and Liston!”

 

“You pinned Liston, genius,” Toxxic retorts. “It ain’t exactly hard to do. Besides, I left the arena shortly after my match last week so the last time I saw you at all... you were being left in a bloody heap on the floor by Dace Night, the man who has never managed to beat me.” The Straight-Edge Sensation folds his arms and grins lopsidedly at Flesher, apparently convinced that he’s scored a point.

 

“Are you stoned, or just drunk?” Flesher asks pugnaciously, the insults obviously jarring with the Brit. “I tied the series on the match you claim not to have seen last week; I’m going to beat Dace at 13th Hour; and then I’m going to face whoever the champion is and win the World Heavyweight Title for the third time!” Flesher steps back and looks openly at Toxxic’s shoulders and waist. “I notice you seem to be lacking a bit of gold, Toxxic; precious metal allergy?”

 

Toxxic mimes a sneeze, spraying Flesher with spit. “No, just allergic to twats,” he informs the Superior One nastily. Flesher steps towards him again, eyes blazing-

 

“Umm-” Ace Lezaire begins.

 

“Not now!” Toxxic and Flesher snap at the same time.

 

“Err...” Lezaire looks first at Allison, then at Jet, and notices that both of them appear to have heard it too. “That’s the Smarkdown music, and that means they’re about to start the match. Our match,” he adds as neither Flesher or Toxxic move. “You know, the one we all have tonight - as a team?” he finishes, trying to jog their memories.

 

“Let’s go then,” Toxxic says, not budging.

 

“After you,” Flesher replies, making no move away from the door. Toxxic stares at him for a moment, then roughly shoulders past. Flesher turns and stalks after him, and the two girls follow the Superior One out of the door. After a long, lingering shot of their asses Steve turns the camera onto his original subject. Ace Lezaire is looking decidedly unhappy, but when he sees Steve focusing on him he tries his best winning smile. Unfortunately, this smile would struggle to beat Cutthroat.

 

“Erm...” he says weakly. “I’m sure it’ll be OK when the match starts...”

[the.weej 0]

“Greetings Citizens, and welcome back for our Main Event tonight as the forces of Truth and Justice once again do battle with nefarious evildoers!” comes Cyclone Comet’s exultant announcement.

 

“This match should not be going ahead, Comet, plain and simple,” Riley replies sternly. “Zenon had NO right to rescind Nathaniel Kibagami’s suspension; he had NO right to make this match, he KNOWS that Toxxic and Flesher will be at each others’ throats, and add Ace into the equation, I shudder to think what will happen…”

 

“I know,” Comet responds, nudging his partner while wearing a goofy smile. “Isn’t it great!?”

 

“Ladies and Gentleman,” Funyon begins with a booming voice as the crowd quiet down to listen, “it’s time for the evening’s MAIN EVENT!” The cheers ring out around the Gund Arena as they have done so many times before at an SWF event. “And it is a six-man tag team match of MADNESS scheduled for one fall!”

 

The jubilant crowd rises to their feet as “Lapdance” by N.E.R.D kicks up, and the cheers pick up even further as Ryan Dustin makes his way down the ramp, feeling inspired as he main-events a card once again in his distinguished career.

 

“Introducing first,” Funyon continues, “from Carson City; weighing in at two hundred and twenty eight pounds; he is the Real Deal... RYAN DUSTIN!”

 

“To say Citizen Dustin has gotten off to a rocky start in the SWF would be-“

 

“-an outright lie,” proclaims Bobby, taking joy in cutting off his partner for once. “The drunken layabout hasn’t even picked up a solitary singles win, not one! I hate to say it Comet, but maybe it’s time we took him behind the canvas screen…”

 

“Robert! We cannot say such things, especially about such outstanding talent! Ryan Dustin may be the key to this match; he’s an experienced veteran who knows the game better than any other, and he’ll bond his team together.”

 

“Yeah, like it’ll be stronger than his bond with Jack Daniels…”

 

Dustin hits the ring and climbs to the top of the nearest turnbuckles, gazing out at. The crowd’s enthusiasm seems to waver as an uneasy silence follows during the half-minute that passes with no action, until-

 

BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM-BAM!

 

-the Gund Arena is shaken to its core as Muse’s “Hyper Music” plays, the hard bassline waking the crowd into a fever pitch as Ace Lezaire makes his way out with Steve in tow. The Canadian pumps his fist into the air and flashes a trademark smile to nothing but jeers from the capacity crowd!

 

“Now in the ring, from Vancouver, Canada,” Funyon stops for a second, letting the boos ring out before containing. “Weighing in at two hundred and thirty pounds... ACE LEZAIRE!”

 

Comet whips out his thesaurus as he scowls at the Prodigy, who gleefully basks in the spotlight. “Cocksure, conceited, arrogant, audacious, smug, pretentious-”

 

“-winner,” interrupts Riley with a smirk, “which is more than can be said for Dustin. And tonight we will be witnessing the debut of ‘Ace-Cam’ - documenting the finest moments of this young man in EXTREEEEEMMMMEEEE CLOOOOOOSSSSSEEEEUUUUPPPP!!”

 

“Don’t make me use the red rope liquorice on you.”

 

The chorus of boos incited by Lezaire’s arrival ceases as suddenly as his music does, and fog begins to boil up from the ramp. The haunting tune of Nevermore’s “The River Dragon has Come” rings out over the arena-

 

*BAM!*

 

-before every single light in the arena suddenly flares a brilliant white as the distortion kicks in and the music begins to pound through the speakers, eliciting a wave of support and cheers!

 

Today, the warning came in the flood…

 

“Must he always make such a long, dramatic entrance?” complains Riley, sighing as a burning ankh appear on the Smarktron... and Nathaniel Kibagami sweeps through the curtains, making eye contact with no-one as he makes his way down the ramp.

 

“And from Phoenix, Arizona; weighing in at two hundred and sixty-one pounds; he is the River Dragon... NATHANIEL KIBAGAMI!”

 

Almost instantly and definitely deliberately, the heavy guitars of “We Still Kill the Old Way” by the Lost Prophets begin and the words ‘Prepare to be Proved Wrong’ flash up on the SmarkTron. Kibagami simply shakes his head-

 

GO!

 

*BOOOM!*

 

-as a massive blast of crimson pyro explodes, heralding the arrival of the SWF’s premier straight-edger! Funyon tries to make himself heard over the torrent of boos raining down from the fans, “next, accompanied by his girlfriend Jet, from Nottingham, England...” again, he stops for the hostile jeers for the Englishman, while a sign can be seen in the background…

 

Demonstar > Dangerlust

 

A frown crosses Riley’s brow as he reads the sign, remarking. “We’ll just see if that’s the case at 13th Hour, but mark my words, Kibagami won’t be heard from for quite some time once Toxxic is done with him…”

 

Funyon finishes as he yells, “he weighs in at two hundred and eighteen pounds; he is ‘the Straight-Edge Sensation’...TOXXIC!”

 

“I sincerely doubt that Bobbo, but those two moves will NOT be used in this contest under ANY circumstances; the fans will just have to wait till the Pay-Per-View to see the Demonstar of Justice put Toxxic back in his place!”

 

The crowd’s negative response still rings through the arena as Jet gives her man a quick peck on the cheek before heading around the ring. Toxxic slides in under the bottom rope and glares at Kibagami before making his way to his corner, Lezaire’s slap on the back being met with an ominous stare from the Straight-Edge Sensation. The two suddenly cock their heads towards the entrance as “Hero” by Nightrage kicks up, and a burst of white pyro lets fly from the ramp!

 

“Introducing next,” Funyon shouts, “From Tampa Bay, Florida. Weighing in at two hundred and fifty two pounds; he is the High Priest of Horrorcore, the one and only, DACE…“

 

FUCKING!

 

“…NIGHT!”

 

The smoke parts as Dace Night storms out from behind the black curtain, commanding a tremendous presence as the fans welcome the Brummie with raucous cheers while the shredding guitar continues. Dace nods his head in approval before sliding into the ring, tossing the horns to the crowd as he always does…

 

...but he stops dead as a veil of sparkling blue pyro shoots forth like a fountain, and the opening chords of “Kashmir” kicks up. Flesher walks out, confidence written on his face, simply grinning from ear to ear at Dace as he continues down the ramp.

 

“And finally,” Funyon yells followed by a sigh, “accompanied to the ring by Allison Onita; from Buffalo, New York; weighing in at two hundred and thirty one pounds; The Superior One... TOM FLESHER!”

 

“And here he is,” Riley proudly announces, “the man, my man, Tom Flesher. He levelled the best-of-five series at two apiece on Lockdown, as I knew he would, and I know for sure that he’ll come out on top at 13th Hour, no matter the stipulation.”

 

“What if,” Comet hypothesizes, trying to put his partner on the spot, “it’s a special Horrorcore barbed wire, flaming cage weedwhacker-on-a-pole match?”

 

“…Have you ever heard of a little manoeuvre called the Fingerpoke of Doom?”

 

Flesher steps into the ring and grins cockily at Dace as each man now heads to their respective corners. Kibagami and Dace look at each other warily, while Dustin offers them a swig from his hip flask to break the ice. Dustin motions for both men to come close, making sure each man is on the same page as they all nod, focusing on the task at hand.

 

On the other side of the equation, Lezaire makes sure Steve gets a shot of him standing next to Flesher and Toxxic before being shoved towards the centre of the ring by his teammates, who look ready to tear each other apart, but show great restraint as they see their opponents across the ring looking back at them. Dustin sees Lezaire ready to start off and he too heads to the centre of the squared circle, referee Sexton Hardcastle pointing to ringside to kick things off.

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

“Some of the greatest men in our sport are in that ring, the most skilled, the most successful, the most charismatic, the best there is and ever will be… and then there’s Ace Lezaire.”

 

“Oh, very funny…” Riley sneers in response, “but that man you take so lightly DEFEATED Dustin in his first SWF match. No wonder he looks pumped to take Dustin on in the early goings here.”

 

But Lezaire looks thoroughly concerned as he and Dustin circle each other, the rookie wisely backing away as Dustin feigns an attack before the Real Deal suddenly stops in the centre of the ring and motions for Lezaire to enter an amicable elbow-and-collar tie-up. The rookie slowly but surely steps forward, locking horns with Dustin, but the Canadian’s show of sportsmanship ends there as he attempts to go low with a boot to the stomach…

 

...but Dustin is prepared, and catches Ace’s leg! Lezaire pleads with Dustin to let him go, but the Real Deal hears the roar from the crowd and decides to spin Lezaire around, sending a Shotei into Lezaire’s chest that causes him to recoil and back away. The Real Deal shakes his head at his cowardly foe and shoots him into the ropes with an Irish Whip, meeting Lezaire with a Jumping Side Kick reminiscent of-

 

-but Ace adeptly ducks underneath Dustin’s blow, barrelling into the opposite ropes to build momentum! Dustin pivots around to meet him, but the reaction time shown highlights his aging body as Lezaire spins through the air-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-and catches his opponent on the jaw with a Cyclone Elbow! The Real Deal falls to the canvas as Ace greedily pounces, hooking him by the far leg!

 

ONE!

 

Night and Kibagami instinctively step through the ropes to break the count, but stop before entering as Dustin shoots a shoulder up in time. The two men then look up at the far side of the ring, noticing Toxxic and Flesher ready to hit the ring as well.

 

“Oh boy,” Comet begins, wiping the sweat from his brow, “how long can this last before these men just decide to have at one another!?”

 

“…as long as Flesher and Toxxic want it to,” Riley comments, grinning as the four men slink back through the ropes. “They’re consummate professionals though, Comet, and a win tonight would give them a psychological boost as we head towards 13th Hour, and yet another notch in the win column.”

 

This time Lezaire sends Dustin into the cables, waiting for his return as he lowers his head. The Real Deal instead grabs the top rope as he backs into the strands, holding himself in place! Ace is left looking down at the canvas a few more seconds before realizing Dustin isn’t returning, then looks up to find the Real Deal waiting for him! Lezaire mouths off at Dustin for making him look like a fool before charging towards his opponent-

 

*SMACK!*

 

-but he’s met with a Front Dropkick from Dustin with the aid of the ropes! Lezaire stumbles backward rubbing his jaw as Dustin darts forward, pressing his advantage with European Uppercuts to further daze his opponent.

 

“Just look at the perfect execution there,” Comet says admiringly as Dustin whips Ace into the corner. “I feel tonight is Citizen Dustin’s night, and with Dace Night and Nathaniel Kibagami in his corner, how can he fail?”

 

Lezaire groggily steps out from the turnbuckles into trouble as Dustin leaps into the air, latches onto Ace’s neck and snaps him over with a Hurricanrana! Dustin reaches back and hooks Lezaire’s legs for the pin...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

Lezaire desperately escapes, scampering away to put some distance between himself and Dustin. The Real Deal brings himself to his feet, sprinting towards his opponent in the corner, but Lezaire meets him with a boot to the face! The blow knocks Dustin silly and spins him around as he stumbles towards the centre of the ring, and Lezaire cockily saunters out of the corner before jabbing two fingers straight into Dustin’s eyes as the man from Carson City turns back to him!

 

“What a dastardly deed from Lezaire,” cries Comet in an uproar, “Resorting to underhanded tactics only minutes into this contest!”

 

Hardcastle immediately steps in to admonish Lezaire but the Canadian simply tells him to step aside as he stalks his blinded opponent, drawing boos from the crowd. Lezaire slaps on a side headlock, infuriating the fans further and wrenching at Dustin’s neck. The Real Deal fights back, sending one, two, no THREE elbows into Lezaire’s ribs to break the hold! Dustin pushes Lezaire towards the ropes to buy some time, just enough in fact to lift Ace off the canvas and spin him around in a Tilt-a-Whirl attempt!

 

The Canadian Hero somehow counters in mid-flight, latching onto Dustin’s neck and taking him over with a flying Headscissors! The move sends Dustin skidding towards enemy territory and into his opponent’s corner as Lezaire struts over towards Toxxic, tagging him in. The Straight-Edge Sensation looks less than impressed by either of his teammates but he sees Dustin grab his neck in pain and immediately goes on the attack. He lifts Dustin up, taking a fistful of hair at the same time, before-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-answering Dustin’s European Uppercuts with some of his own! The crowd lets their objections be known as they hurl abuse down on Toxxic, but he cares little as he sends Dustin into the ropes. The Real Deal meets the Straight-Edge Sensation on his return but gets a ‘raw’ deal as Toxx takes him by the head and-

 

*CRUNCH!*

 

-slams him down across his knee with a Facebuster! Toxxic wraps his arm around Dustin’s head tightly and falling backwards, dragging Ryan down-

 

*BAM!*

 

-and spiking his head into the canvas with an Evenflow DDT!

 

“Sobering Thought on Dustin,” Riley yells, “and if that’s not Irony-In-Action I don’t know what is!”

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

Toxxic falls on top of Dustin and hooks the leg, looking up at Kibagami as if to say ‘This could be you’, as Hardcastle slides over to count...

 

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

The River Dragon steps through the ropes and approaches-

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

-but Toxxic suddenly lets go and backs away as Kibagami comes forward, the Straight-Edge Sensation simply staring at Nathaniel and shaking his head, producing a sneer from the Slaughterer as he returns to his corner.

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

“This is a veritable powder keg, Robert, which could explode at any moment!”

 

Toxxic’s eyes narrow as the chant rings out but he shakes it off and pulls Dustin to his feet before whipping him into the ‘friendly’ corner, looking straight at Tom Flesher while tagging Lezaire. The Canadian groans, but a glare from Toxxic has him stepping into the ring quick smart.

 

ACE-CAM!

 

Lezaire takes Dustin and backs him into the ropes before sending him across the ring with an Irish Whip, taking Dustin by the arm on his return and taking him down with a Hip Toss, before hooking his left arm over Dustin’s and pulling on his neck with a Chickenwing Facelock! Meanwhile Steve zooms in on the Prodigy, making sure to capture every grimace as the Canadian works to tighten his grip.

 

ACE-CAM!

 

“Intelligence personified, Comet,” Riley says, nodding his head approvingly as Dustin yelps out in pain. “Keeping Dustin isolated from his dangerous partners and working the neck, which can work in the entire team’s favour.”

 

“At the same time though, Robert, Toxxic refused to tag in Flesher, letting Lezaire do the dirty work. That could be a problem as the match wears on…”

 

Lezaire attempts to rip and tear at Dustin, scraping his fingers across his face! Hardcastle steps in but Lezaire grins and stops, causing Hardcastle to wag his finger. Lezaire pulls back on Dustin’s neck, but the Real Deal realizes the predicament he’s in and counters-

 

*BAM!*

 

-throwing his head back and cracking Lezaire in the face with a head BUTT! Another one shakes Ace free and Hardcastle checks on Dustin as he crawls away, allowing Lezaire to roll out of the ring and onto the floor. Flesher claps his hands together and enters the ring with the referee’s back turned, and the fans are up in arms!

 

“Flesher isn’t just a pretty face,” says Riley, swooning over his man, “he’s a tag team specialist, and there’s a perfect example of his prowess right there.”

 

“A perfect example of Citizen Flesher’s blatant disregard for the rules, more like!” Comet splutters. “I have no problem admitting that he’s a great wrestler, but would it kill him to play fair for once?”

 

“TAA-MO SUCKS!”

 

“TAA-MO SUCKS!”

 

Flesher pauses for a moment to flip off the fans, then dives forward and snares Dustin’s leg, hauling him back towards the middle of the ring. Ryan desperately reaches out, trying to tag in one of his partners... but although Kibagami is stretching as far as he can Flesher has judged the distances perfectly, and Dustin is condemned to continue the match. Realising that he’s better off on his feet than on the floor Dustin pushes himself up and turns, hopping on the spot as he faces the man who has him by the ankle. Flesher smirks at him down the length of his leg, then turns his head and grins smugly at the fans at ringside-

 

*CRACK!!*

 

-and Dustin NAILS him in the back of the head with an enzuigiri!

 

“DUST-IN!”

“DUST-IN!”

“DUST-IN!”

 

“What improvisation from Ryan Dustin!” Comet yells in delight as the Gund Arena erupts for the veteran. “Tom Flesher took his mind off the match for one second, and the Real Deal made him pay!”

 

Pushing himself back up Dustin leaps forwards, trying to tag someone else in. Head swimming, Flesher desperately reaches for the Real Deal’s receding boot, but he’s too late...

 

*SMAK!*

 

...the River Dragon has come.

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

Flesher scrambles back up to his feet, not wanting to have his guard down for a moment with Kibagami in the ring, but before the Superior One can prepare Nathaniel charges in and-

 

*WHAM!!*

 

-takes Flesher DOWN with a Burning Lariat!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

“Robert, I think they felt that one in Phoenix!” Comet calls as Flesher rolls on the mat, clutching his throat. “Citizen Kibagami is wasting no time in breaking out the big moves here.”

 

“Just you wait, Comet,” Riley replies. “Kibagami will blow his load too soon and then Flesher will come out on top, like he always does.”

 

“...Sweet Zombie Jesus...” the superhero mutters, almost drowning under the layers of innuendo.

 

The River Dragon grabs Flesher roughly by the throat and hauls him upwards, then steps back and launches a practiced kick at the Superior One’s right thigh.

 

*CRACK!!*

 

And another.

 

*CRACK!!*

 

Kibagami pivots on his left foot this time and aims for Flesher’s ribs...

 

*WHUMP!*

 

...but Flesher catches the kick under one arm and traps the leg by his side! Kibagami prepares for a devastating left-foot gamengiri, but Flesher is too smart to be caught by the same trick twice and dives forward, hooking Kibagami behind the left knee and taking his man down. Kibagami instinctively rolls over onto his front to avoid the pinning situation and Flesher has to be content with scooting over him for a front facelock, but the Superior One’s smirk doesn’t last long as the River Dragon begins to heave, powering up through the hold! Flesher wrenches Kibagami’s neck, seeking to cause enough pain in the surgically-repaired vertebrae to make Nathaniel quit his trouble-making, but Kibagami is having none of it. He reaches forward and hooks Flesher behind his knees in his turn, then hoists the former World Champion off the mat and drives him backwards into the corner!

 

*WHAM!!*

 

This just happens to be Kibagami’s corner, and his questing left hand finds that of Dace Night-

 

*SMAK!*

 

*CRACK!!*

 

-whose elbow finds the side of Flesher’s head! Night steps through the ropes and prepares to swing again, Flesher raises his hands to shield his face, releasing Kibagami... and Dace backs away, content for now to make the clean break. Flesher edges forward cautiously, only too aware of the fact that Dace lies between him and the safety of his corner - and as he does so, Ryan Dustin reaches out and pushes the Superior One in the back of the head. Flesher whips around, getting in Dustin’s face, but fails to notice Dace coming in behind him until Horrorcore locks his arms around Flesher’s waist.

 

*CRASH!!*

 

“German!” Comet declares with satisfaction as Dace hauls Flesher overhead and maintains the bridge for the pin. “Tom Flesher paid the price for his lack of attention there!”

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

But despite the impact Flesher kicks out shortly after two, not having taken enough punishment to stay down yet.

 

“Ryan Dustin should never have laid hands on Flesher!” Riley fumes, outraged. “He’s not the legal man!”

 

“Robert, I think you’ll find that Flesher never actually tagged himself in, so by your logic his team should have lost long ago via countout!” Comet argues, quietening Riley for, ooh, three seconds.

 

ACE-CAM!

 

Steve zooms in on Ace Lezaire on the ring apron... only to find the Prodigy picking his nose. Hastily trying to find a different subject the shot swings to Toxxic, who is watching Flesher’s predicament with a mixture of concern and disdain, before dropping to where Allison Onita and Jet are stood at ringside. The two lovely ladies are exchanging words as Allison bites her lip in concern, but Steve appears to be more interested in the fact that Jet’s top is rather low-cut this evening. Acknowledging the subconscious wishes of a large portion of the male audience, Steve starts to zoom...

 

ACE-CAM!

 

“HOR-ROR-CORE!”

 

“HOR-ROR-CORE!”

 

“HOR-ROR-CORE!”

 

The chants ring around the Gund Arena as the Brummie Goth brings a dazed Flesher up to his feet. Before Tom can get his breath back Dace drives a knee up into Flesher’s midsection, blasting the breath from his lungs, then applies an armwringer to Flesher’s left arm. Flesher’s face shows more discomfort than actual pain, but then Dace rears back with his right hand while maintaining his grip with the left and-

 

*CRACK!!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

*CRACK!!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

*CRACK!!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

-fires off a series of knife-edge chops! As Flesher gasps from the impact Dace reaches out and tags Kibagami back in, who steps through the ropes and fires a clinical snap-kick at the trapped arm, causing Tom to yelp in pain and cradle it at his side as Dace releases his hold. Before Flesher can escape or gain any advantage however, Kibagami grabs the wounded limb and twists an armwringer in himself, then-

 

*CRACK!!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

*CRACK!!*

 

“WHOOO!”

 

-starts attacking the increasingly traumatised chest of Flesher! With his opponent reeling Kibagami clamps his left arm over Flesher’s trapped limb at the shoulder and drops back with a single-arm DDT, jarring the arm still further!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

“The team of Kibagami, Night and Dustin are functioning well tonight,” Comet observes. “They appear to be trying to isolate Tom Flesher, just as Flesher and his teammates were keeping Ryan Dustin separated from his corner earlier.”

 

“But if even Tom Flesher can make a mistake and allow his advantage to slip away then Kibagami certainly can,” Riley predicts confidently. “It’s just a matter of moments before Taamo’s Superior Skills allow him to reassert himself in this contest!”

 

Even as the words leave Bobby Riley’s mouth Allison Onita jumps up onto the ring apron near where Toxxic and Lezaire stand. She starts protesting angrily to Sexton Hardcastle about Kibagami allegedly pulling her man’s hair on that last takedown, an accusation that is truly ridiculous but which distracts Sexton for the second Flesher needs to-

 

*CHING!!*

 

“Is that what you call ‘Superior Skills’?” Comet asks his commentary partner in a disgusted tone.

 

Outraged, Dace and Dustin step through the ropes, seeking revenge for their fallen comrade. However, Hardcastle’s hearing may not be able to detect forearm-on-testicles but it is definitely up to registering two pairs of boots where there should be none, and he ceases his argument to order the two men back to their corner. Dustin accedes readily enough but Dace is less eager to comply - and as he prevaricates Flesher unwraps some of his wrist tape and begins choking Kibagami with it!

 

“Poetry in motion...” Riley murmurs contentedly.

 

Having finally banished Dace to the apron the severely overworked Hardcastle turns back to find Flesher’s spirited attempt at garrotting Kibagami in full swing, and begins the count. Flesher simply grins up at the referee and counts along with him... then releases his grip mere nanoseconds before the dreaded five-count. With the River Dragon struggling for breath Flesher apparently decides that it’s time to get out and rest his injured arm, so he grabs Kibagami’s hair and drags him over to where Toxxic is practically begging for the tag...

 

*SMAK!*

 

...and tags in a startled Ace Lezaire.

 

“Evil contains the seeds of its own downfall, Robert,” Comet assures his co-announcer as Lezaire reluctantly steps through the ropes. “This refusal of Toxxic and Flesher to work together will undoubtedly see them fall in defeat before the emissaries of JUSTICE~!”

 

Ace sizes up Nathaniel Kibagami as he enters the ring but apparently decides that the man can’t be too dangerous following a low blow and an illegal choke, because he starts flicking out jabs at the River Dragon’s head...

 

JAB!

 

JAB!

 

JAB!

 

Wait for it...

 

DISCUS PUNCH!

 

The spinning right hand catches Kibagami flush on the jaw and the former Clansman staggers back onto the ropes. Hardcastle steps forward to try and give the River Dragon room but Lezaire is having none of it. Growing in confidence with every passing second he starts firing kicks at Kibagami’s body, driving his feet into the Slaughterer’s arms and ribs. Finally Sexton Hardcastle pulls him away and Kibagami staggers forwards, only for Lezaire to vault upwards and CRACK him in the back of the head with a jumping enzuigiri! Kibagami slumps forwards to the canvas, and with a surprised grin Lezaire drops down and rolls him onto his back, hooking the leg for the cover...

 

ACE-CAM!

 

The close-up sees Lezaire puffing a stray strand of hair from his face as Hardcastle’s hand comes down for the-

 

ONE!

 

Lezaire’s grin widens...

 

TWO!

 

A light of triumph comes into his eyes as he realises that he might be able to pin the legendary Kibagami right here...

 

TH-

 

And Ace’s eyes cross as a black wrestling boot kicks him VERY hard in the back of the head while Kibagami rolls his shoulder off the canvas.

 

ACE-CAM!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

Dace backs away from the pin while Flesher steps through the ropes, talking trash to Night safe in the knowledge that the Brummie would have to shove Hardcastle aside and risk disqualification to get to him. The Superior One turns back, having had his fill of Goth-baiting... only to see Allison and Jet standing very close to each other, apparently more interested in each others’ eyes that the action in the ring! Flesher quickly clambers out and starts speaking sternly to his girl while Toxxic looks on in amusement. Turning his attention back to the ring the Straight-Edge Sensation sees Lezaire put his opponent in a vertical headscissors and signal for something...

 

“Comet, we’re about to see The Greatest Jumping Piledriver Ever!” Riley says excitedly. “This will soften up Kibagami’s neck perfectly for Toxxic at the Pay-Per-View!”

 

But Kibagami has other ideas, and as Lezaire reaches down to hoist him upwards the River Dragon starts to push with his legs. The strain is largely focused on his neck, and the pain makes Kibagami see purple spots for a moment - but then he manages to hoist the Canadian Cruiserweight up and backwards, backbody-dropping his way out of the predicament!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

Toxxic reaches out a black-nailed hand, calling for Lezaire to make the tag. The Prodigy isn’t yet ready to give up his chance to pin a former World Champion however, and with uncharacteristic determination Lezaire picks himself up and springs back into the attack, looking for the Cyclone Elbow-

 

*WHAM!!*

 

-but before he even leaves the ground Kibagami has rushed forwards and met him with a thunderous Yakuza kick!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

Kibagami leans over the ropes, catching his breath. He’s on the wrong side of the ring, but he will be able to tag a partner in momentarily... apart from the fact that Tom Flesher has suddenly abandoned his chastisement of Allison to spring up and grab the River Dragon’s head, guillotining him over the top cable!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Hardcastle admonishes Flesher as the Superior One returns to his place on the apron, but Flesher pays no attention and even Toxxic is too concerned for the state of the match to smirk about the grilling. Neither Kibagami nor Lezaire are moving very fast, and Lezaire is closer to his corner than Kibagami to his, but still... Coming to a decision Toxxic ducks through the ropes, evades the grasping hands of the referee and grabs Lezaire by the ankle. With little concern for the Canadian’s well-being Toxxic hauls him back to their corner, then climbs back through the ropes, reaches down and tags himself in officially!

 

“Criminal!” Comet shouts.

 

“Genius!” Riley replies.

 

“Fuck this!” Dace Night is heard to comment by the ring mics, and the High Priest of Horrorcore steps through the ropes to perform the same humanitarian act with Nathaniel Kibagami - but Sexton Hardcastle has been caught out once and he won’t allow it to happen again, so Dace again finds himself up against a small, stripy-shirted but very official wall. Dace explains his viewpoint to Sexton Hardcastle in very florid language, but the Brummie’s vituperation serves merely to annoy the referee. And as they aruge Toxxics streaks past them both, springboards off the second buckle in Dace’s corner, vaults over the top rope and snares a surprised Ryan Dustin in a hurricanrana, bringing the Real Deal off the apron and crashing down to the arena floor!

 

“HO-LY SHIT!”

“HO-LY SHIT!”

“HO-LY SHIT!”

 

“What in Neptune’s name was that?” Comet asks incredulously as Toxxic picks himself up.

 

“That’s tactics, Comet,” Riley answers. “With any luck that move will keep Dustin out of the game for a while, making it effectively three-on-two!”

 

Sure enough, Dustin appears to have landed hard and the man from Carson City is curled up, clutching the back of his neck. Meanwhile Toxxic gets back to his feet, snaps his own neck from side-to-side and dives back under the bottom rope as Hardcastle finally manages to expel a fuming Dace from the ring. Kibagami is back to his feet and starts to move for his corner, but Toxxic charges in to cut the veteran off.

 

*CRACK!!*

 

The soccer tackle slices into Kibagami’s shins, toppling him forwards. He begins to stand again, trying to make it to Dace’s outstretched hand, but Toxxic manages to clamp on a reverse headlock and brings the River Dragon up short. Without pausing Toxxic drops to one knee, driving the other into the back of Kibagami’s neck, before popping back up, twisting over and driving him down into the mat with a Diamond Cutter to complete the Detoxx! The straight-edger scrambles over to his fallen opponent and hooks the leg...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

TH-

 

But Kibagami kicks out, and inside the Gund Arena a familiar chant starts to build...

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

Frustration is starting to show on Toxxic’s face, and he clamps on a side headlock. The immediate danger of Kibagami making a tag has gone, but now he needs to work out how to wear the River Dragon down. The Straight-Edge Sensation turns and reaches a hand out towards his own corner...

 

...and using what might be his last reserves of strength, Kibagami abruptly jacknifes his body backwards.

 

*BAM!!*

 

“Dangerous Backdrop!” Comet gasps as Toxxic’s body crumples into the canvas. “Kibagami pulled that out of nowhere!”

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

If trapped, frenzied energy was a power source then Dace would be able to take on the load of at least one nuclear plant, so urgent are the Brummie’s attempts to reach Nathaniel Kibagami. Ryan Dustin is only just starting to pick himself up on the outside, still clutching his neck from where he landed on that hurricanrana. Ace Lezaire is upright, but only just. And in the middle of the ring, Toxxic and Kibagami lie side-by-side as Hardcastle begins his count.

 

ONE!

 

TWO!

 

 

 

Slowly, like a man trapped in treacle, Kibagami rolls onto his side...

 

THREE!

 

...then onto his front.

 

FOUR!

 

He looks up to see Dace Night reaching over the ropes to him... and he begins to crawl.

 

FIVE!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

The chants are starting to rise again. And, as slowly as his enemy, Toxxic begins to stir as well.

 

SIX!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

The Straight-Edge Sensation begins to crawl away from the River Dragon, towards his own corner.

 

SEVEN!

 

‘SIIIIIII-LENT...’

 

“Robert, neither man has regained their feet!” Comet observes. “There could be a double count-out here before either one makes the tag!”

 

EIGHT!

 

Kibagami reaches out and upwards for the hand that the High Priest of Horrorcore holds outstretched... and at the opposite corner of the ring Toxxic has a choice to make. To tag in Flesher, who is holding out his hand with one eye on developments on the other side, or to tag in the shaky-looking Lezaire.

 

NIIIIIIINE...

 

*SMAK!*

 

Kibagami has made the tag.

 

And Toxxic looks up at Tom Flesher, spits “Fuck you,” at the Superior One...

 

*SMAK!*

 

...and tags him in.

 

“RAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!”

 

“Night’s in! Flesher’s in!” Comet yells in joy as the two men step through the ropes and charge at each other. “Business just picked up!”

 

Flesher grins as he scuds across the ring and lashes upwards with a Doc Marten, seeking to disconnect Dace’s head from his shoulders... but the head is illogically not there, as Horrorcore ducks the blow and hits the far cables before rebounding and-

 

*CRUNCH!!*

 

-almost staving Flesher’s face in with a running elbow smash as the Superior One turns to see where his opponent went!

 

“DACE-DACE-DACE-DACE!!”

 

Night roars, throwing the Metal Horns to the crowd, then turns as the response warns him that trouble is a-brewing. So instead of blindsiding his opponent with an easy attack Ace Lezaire instead finds himself face-to-face with 251lbs of homicidal Brummie. To his credit Lezaire launches himself into the air anyway but unfortunately for him, Dace catches him and drives him down-

 

*WHAM!*

 

-with a BRUTAL Slam Spinebuster!

 

“DACE-DACE-DACE-DACE!!”

 

Determined not to let Lezaire cause any more problems Dace picks him up again - and Tom Flesher crashes into the back of his knee with a chop block!

 

“BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!”

 

Night crumples, and Flesher leans over the ropes and calls to Allison for a chair. The fact that Hardcastle is standing right by him doesn’t seem to occur to the Superior One until after his girl has delivered it, and Flesher’s explanation that he needs a rest cuts no ice with the referee... but it does allow Jet to slide one under the bottom rope to Ace Lezaire as he gets back to his feet.

 

*CRACK!!*

 

The chair bounces off Dace’s skull, the sound rings through the Gund Arena and Hardcastle knows he’s been had - but when he turns around Lezaire has disposed of the weapon and is looking innocent(ish). The referee goes to eject the Canadian from the ring anyway, but is forestalled as Flesher covers Dace...

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREEEE-

 

But Dace still kicks out! Flesher can’t believe it, and he and Lezaire shrug off Hardcastle’s protests and haul Night up. The two men back the Brummie into the ropes and Irish whip him to the other side - but Dace ducks under the attempted double clothesline, hits the far cables and rebounds-

 

*WHAM-WHAM!!*

 

-with a Double Lariat!

 

“DACE-DACE-DACE-DACE!”

 

Dace struggles to his feet, trying to get his bearings. He knows that the chairshot has scrambled his head, and he needs to get a fresh man in. He staggers over to his corner and tags the first hand he finds...

 

...which belongs to the recently-returned Ryan Dustin.

 

*SMAK!*

 

Dustin climbs to the top turnbuckle of his corner as Hardcastle literally pushes Ace Lezaire out of the ring through the ropes. Taking a deep breath the Real Deal makes a ‘picture-frame’ at Tom Flesher as the Superior One struggles to his feet...

 

...and dives off the top with a picture-perfect hurricanrana, bringing Flesher over and cradling the legs for the pin.

 

ONE!

 

 

 

 

 

TWO!

 

 

 

 

THREEE-

 

“So close!” Comet cries, anguished. “Dustin nearly pinned Flesher!”

 

“Never going to happen!” Riley asserts - but he doesn’t sound sure of himself.

 

Dustin stands up, ready to continue his attack, but then he finds himself grabbed from behind and turned around-

 

*KICK-WHAM-A.C.E!!*

 

“Merciful Zeus, will someone keep Lezaire out of the ring!?” Comet yells. Dace Night goes to oblige - but finds his right leg immovable. He looks down and realises that Toxxic, far from being motionless on the arena floor on the other side of the ring, has managed to get round undetected and is anchoring him in place. With an almighty heave Toxxic pulls backwards, and Dace finds himself falling-

 

*WHAM!!*

 

-facefirst onto the ring apron! Meanwhile Lezaire manages to break free of Hardcastle’s clutches and flies through the ropes with a suicide dive, smashing Nathaniel Kibagami backwards into the guard rail!

 

And that leaves Flesher and Dustin alone in the ring.

 

The Real Deal tries to move, but before he can wriggle away Flesher straddles him in a back mount and reaches forwards. Despite Dustin’s best efforts the Superior One hooks a Dragon Sleeper on with his right arm... then wrenches back.

 

“Superior Stretch Beta!” Comet calls. “Fight it Ryan, fight it!”

 

Ryan tries. But the early neckwork, the hurricanrana from apron to floor, the A.C.E - it is all too much for his humble vertebrae. And after merely three seconds Dace Night, still desperately trying to get into the ring despite Toxxic’s dogged grip on his leg, watches Ryan Dustin’s hand raise in the air...

 

*TAP-TAP-TAP-TAP*

 

*DING-DING-DING!*

 

“Yes! Flesher bags another one!” Riley squeals. “And he did it cleanly, Comet!”

 

“You mean apart from the low blow, the chairshot and the constant interference?” Comet asks bitterly.

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, here are your winners,” Funyon booms as ‘Kashmir’ starts up, “the team of-” but the ring announcer is cut off, as Dace Night and Nathaniel Kibagami start taking out their frustrations on Toxxic and Ace Lezaire respectively. Flesher slides under the ropes, steel chair now in hand again, and-

 

*CRACK!*

 

-waffles Dace in the back of the head. This time Horrorcore goes down, but Kibagami rushes Flesher... and then Lezaire follows him, before Toxxic regains his feet rather shakily and begins lashing out at anyone, whether nominally on his team or not...

 

“Citizens, we’re out of time!” Comet calls. “Join us for the Pay-Per-View, when these rivalries will come to a head! JOIN US, AT THE 13th HOUR~!”

 

 

Copyright 2004

Smartmarks Wrestling Federation

[the.weej 0]

As the usual fade out covers the screens from the latest SWF Smarkdown, the screen flickers for a moment before flaring back into life.

 

Somewhere, backstage in the depths of the Gund Arena stands Dace Night, holding his body after the six man tag match, sweet pouring off him. Staring straight into the camera.

 

"Tom Flesher, that six man tag team match isn't the end of this. You know. Because in just a few short days it's going to be you and me. At the Thirteenth Hour, on pay per view, in the final of the best of five. And the final winner will be the number one contender. You know that fine and well Flesher, but I know the match. The final of the series will be.... a ..... CANADIAN FUCKING DEATH MATCH! So Tom Flesher you better go home and train all you can for this match up. Because one last time, it's going to be, The Superior One Tom Flesher and me, Dace Fucking Night, head to head in the ring. I hope you can find the biggest bombs you've ever dropped in the ring, because Tom Flesher, I'm going to terminate you for that title shot. It's just a few days Flesher, just remember that."

 

The camera pauses for a second, showing Dace's heaving finger, almost shaking with rage as the image slowly fades into darkness.

[the.weej 0]

Yeup. It's a show.

 

PPV card will be up pretty soon -- just need to finalize some matches and write descriptions.