So . . .

[Guest SP-1]

I've had roughly 2 hours of sleep. Maybe a little more. Maybe a little less. And the Parole department of another county calls inquiring about my sister, who I haven't seen in almost a year, after she fairly disowned her own children on our side lawn and disappeared with the Mormons. Today, my folks are in court trying to win custody of them. Since, you know, we raised them alot of their lives and are raising them now.

 

So this parole department calls at 2:40 PM. I learn that my sister is on parole in a neighboring country. And she has not checked in as scheduled today. My nutjob sister . . . who is fairly insane . . . has disappeared on the day my parents were supposed to win custody of her kids in court. After a YEAR of no contact with them of her own choice.

 

And I'm trapped here at the house without my keys.

 

 

 

 

 

. . . how's your day going?

[IllustriousOne 0]

Rather enjoyably, actually. Banning trolls is like a hobby.

 

Sorry to hear that about your familia though. But, hopefully you all win custody of the kids and hopefully, your sister checks in for parole..

 

Take it easy.

[Guest Flyboy]

familia

That means "family".

[Guest The Last Free Voice]

Dang, sorry to hear bout your family dude.

 

My day has been pretty good. I haven't embarassed myself here yet (still plenty of time for that), I got to take a nap, and I watched some of the 95 JCup.

[Guest T®ITEC]

I'm also sorry to hear about your family,... and your keys. Both of those things suck.

 

...Fucking Mormons make everyone psychotic.

[justsoyouknow 0]

Dang, sorry to hear bout your family dude.

 

My day has been pretty good. I haven't embarassed myself here yet (still plenty of time for that), I got to take a nap, and I watched some of the 95 JCup.

Rhetorical questions are fun, eh?

 

SP, I feel for ya. Hope everything turns out alright.

[Guest The Last Free Voice]

Rhetorical questions are fun, eh?

 

Yes. Yes they are.

[Guest SP-1]

Well. Good news: My folks won custody.

 

We still don't know where my sister is, though. It'll be an itneresting few days fo shizzle.

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

I voted today. that's it.

 

You know I'm here for SP.

[OldSchoolWrestling 0]

I really want to know where your keys are though.

[NoCalMike 0]

Tough break, but I must ask: What did becoming a mormon have to do with her leaving her kids on your lawn? I mean, in HER EYES how did she relate the two events, or did she just think it is time to start a "new life" or was she brainwashed or what. I mean, seriously, leaving one's kids is truely one of the more evil things you can do.

[Guest T®ITEC]

I vote "brainwahed", but I'm in the thick of those freaks, so perhaps I'm a little biased.

 

They're a cult. A sacreligious cult.

[DerangedHermit 0]

Your sister is a fucking freak.

 

Is she single?

[Guest Choken One]

fuck the kids and the sister

 

Where are your keys? Thats the important thing...Keys are the portal to our lives.

 

Good luck in your quest for the search of your keys...

 

P.S Check behind the couch in the backroom where you fell asleep.

[Scroby 0]

That sucks about your family and your keys...

 

My day was ok, I got to see a car full of teens get arrested by gunpoint by 5 or 6 different officers, it was like COPS but live!

 

And I must say that your Dr. Doom avatar's and Sig pics are freaking awesome Illustrious!

[The Czech Republic 0]

We still don't know where my sister is, though.

Did you try Utah?

 

SP, as our religious guy here, you should be in agreement with me that they're not Christians. They're nice to people, live clean and industrious lives, and generally pretty respectable...in the case of Ken Jennings, smart as hell. But if you've read any of their theology, you'd know it can't be considered part of Christianity. God was once a man who ascended to his position, and this is something you or I can theoretically do? Secret handshakes? And what was that the Bible said about bewaring false prophets?

 

You'd think a religious group with the creativity to devise stuff like "God will strike you down unless you wear a white unitard under your clothes" would be able to give more imaginative names to the streets of Salt Lake City than "300 South" or "4200 East."

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

If it makes you feel any better, my better half's parents took custody of the daughter of my future white-trash sister-in-law. I'm hoping she's either in a grave or in jail before my wedding...

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

God was once a man who ascended to his position..

 

Are you shitting me? How Satanic. Maybe Mormons aren't so bad.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

You'd think a religious group with the creativity to devise stuff like "God will strike you down unless you wear a white unitard under your clothes" would be able to give more imaginative names to the streets of Salt Lake City than "300 South" or "4200 East."

This is the most damning statement of a major religious group I have ever read.

 

And the Mormons don't sound so bad. Some dude receiving holy messages from a hat is far more entertaining than flaming, anthropomorphic shrubbery.

[Guest T®ITEC]

Their foundation is wonderful... But they should all die. Er, uh, not die but "vanish". (Y)

[godthedog 0]

we now have a folder with topic titles like "Hmmm", "So. . ." and "Guts."

 

i find this funny.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Their foundation is wonderful...  But they should all die.  Er, uh, not die but "vanish".  (Y)

Can we send them all to Idaho and leave SLC to the normals?

 

I agree that Mormons aren't so bad except for the whole crazy part. If mainline Christians were living the clean life like that, we'd be set.

[Slayer 0]

God was once a man

Cobra Commander?

[The Czech Republic 0]

Wait. Something seems wrong with this whole scenario...wouldn't the Mormons, activists for strong and inordinately huge families, frown upon abandoning your kids on somebody's doorstep?

[DerangedHermit 0]

Wait. Something seems wrong with this whole scenario...wouldn't the Mormons, activists for strong and inordinately huge families, frown upon abandoning your kids on somebody's doorstep?

I have a feeling they're turning the other cheek.

 

Thank god there aren't many morons...er, Mormons on Long Island. You'll get bitched at by a Jewish mom out here.

[Guest T®ITEC]

Maybe the children weren't easily sucked into the LDS evil.

[Guest SP-1]

Basically, my sister got involved with a Mormon guy who wasn't even a good Mormon. He was a druggie mormon who hid it from the church. Which as Czech has pointed out, Mormons are so focused on a clean and industrious life that if it were to come to light he'd be in big trouble. Theoretically. But, my sister's already existing drug problems were revived with him. They tried to force her kids into the church and they went along with it in action only. Eventually, the relationship became abusive, they descended into poverty, and she vanished for two or three days. Once my parents got wind of it, they went and got the kids and began the journey towards the courtroom on Monday.

 

Part of the divide my sister threw up between us was because she knew that I knew the enormous holes in Mormon theology and could dismantle it if I chose to. Which I didn't. I was very civil in laying out why I didn't agree with it and only got angry when she began lying constantly and trying to force the kids into it, while telling them lies about the theology of my denomination. Even then, I was forgiving and tried to hold things together. Then she bolted, spouting lies about my mom as she dragged her kids down the driveway. But, it worked out for the kids, and to me that was what was most important. I remember yelling, "We'll come for you!" to my nephew as they walked down the road from the house. I'm glad that came to pass. While I'm open about my beliefs, I'd never, ever force them on the kids. Only be an example and answer their questions as best as I can.

 

I did find my keys though. Which is awesome. They were in my aunt's car, at the courthouse. Glad to have the Jimmy rollin' again. My truck, that is.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I wanna sneak into the big Temple in downtown SLC. I heard despite the cathedral-eque exterior, the inside just looks like an office building.

[Guest SP-1]

I've never been inside a temple. But that wouldn't surprise me, really.

 

My team director up at school was a former Mormon, straight from Utah. She became a Christian a few years ago and left. It was an interesting experience. I was hot off the ordeal with my sister and suddenly I was thrown into a situation where I was under the leadership of a woman about the same age, who looked alot like my sister, who grew up Mormon but left once she figured things out. It's fun how God makes you face things sometimes. Ronda is awesome though. We became good friends over the school year. Which is good because we were going to be together alot during the year whether we were friends or not. The nature of of a theatrical team demands it.

[Guest T®ITEC]

I wanna sneak into the big Temple in downtown SLC. I heard despite the cathedral-eque exterior, the inside just looks like an office building.

If you are ever at the Temple, check out this statue of Brigham Young:

 

 

The big joke about it is that his back to the LDS Temple, and his hand's reaching out to a bank across the street. Tremendous.