Jesus Christ has been reborn

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

Jesus Christ born in Ukraine - 03/30/2004 13:04

 

New Jesus Christ has been baptized in Ukrainian town of Zhitomir in March. Residents of this town already got used to the fact that they all had a chance to witness the event.

 

Local priest Vladimir Radzuk named his son Jesus Christ in order to test peoples' attitudes toward God. In the end, the result turned out to be not quite as he had expected.

 

Jesus was born in someone's half-burned flat. The son was the one to pay for his father's sins. Apparently, Rudzak was the only priest who supported political demonstration ?Ukraine without Kuchma¦; he ran into troubles because of it and in the end lost his post.

 

His son Jesus Christ was born practically weightless?only 2 kg 670 grams. Doctors declared him ?almost healthy.¦ The priest took a long time to decide who will baptize the baby. His wife Natalya offered one candidacy, Leonid Yarmolnik. He however declined the role of John the Baptist. In the end, the priest baptized his baby boy himself.

 

Jesus' first words were ?na¦[take it] and ?dai¦[give]. Jesus already understands that one should not only 'give' but also be able to 'take' in order to survive on this planet.

 

The baby triggered a new epidemic in town: local hospitals have already registered another two newborn Jesuses.

 

http://english.pravda.ru/printed.html?news_id=12382

[Guest KJ Brackish]

This has taken either blasphomy or dedication to another level. My first instinct was to introduce this news comment to pres bush so he'll bomb them back to the stone age for their blasphemous comments.

 

KJ

[The Czech Republic 0]

I was worried this had to do with Incandenza dropping the Eyeball Kid account and going back to the old one.

[Krankor 0]

The baby triggered a new epidemic in town: local hospitals have already registered another two newborn Jesuses.

An epidemic indeed...

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

Virgins everywhere are claiming that they're pregnant. Check for cherries.

[spiny norman 0]

Yes, I think naming your kid Jesus Christ must be blasphemous. Kind of like naming your kid Adolph Hitler, it's something which you can't do.

 

And doesn't he realise that all through this poor kid's life people will be making fun of him. Like at school when he eats his sandwiches from home all the kiddies will go "Eeeeewwww, you're eating yourself" etc.

 

I wonder if someone will name their daughter Mary Magdalene and try to hook them up.

[Guest KJ Brackish]

^ I'm not one to laugh at blasphomy, but that literally made me laugh out loud at the "Eewwwwwwwww, you're eating yourself" part.

 

This news report is wrong on soooooooo many levels.

 

KJ

[Golgo 13 0]

And doesn't he realise that all through this poor kid's life people will be making fun of him. Like at school when he eats his sandwiches from home all the kiddies will go "Eeeeewwww, you're eating yourself" etc.

 

The poor child will be crucified.

[Giuseppe Zangara 0]

Mel Gibson will make a shitty movie about it.

[geniusMoment 0]

Damn it, I knew I should have repented. Now look at what has happened, its too late and I am going to hell. Damn porn, damn it to hell.

[Guest Vitamin X]

This is by far one of the worst threads I have ever seen. KJ posting twice in it pushes its craptacularness to new heights.

[Ravenbomb 0]

crap, didn't work

[Guest KJ Brackish]

This is by far one of the worst threads I have ever seen. KJ posting twice in it pushes its craptacularness to new heights.

What the hell is your problem ya little BUTT pirate? I've never done/said anything to you for 1) you're a stupid ass that just gives smartass remarks to everything 2) your 'SUCKNESS' level is beyond someone that I would want to talk to, so do us a favor and keep your opinions to yourself.

 

KJ

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

Keep it up guys, we've almost got him over the edge.

[The Czech Republic 0]

This has taken either blasphomy or dedication to another level. My first instinct was to introduce this news comment to pres bush so he'll bomb them back to the stone age for their blasphemous comments.

 

KJ

"Mr. President, you have some mail today."

"I have lots of mail every day."

"Yeah but this one is important."

"How do you figure?"

"It's from KJ Brackish."

"Well why didn't you tell me it was from KJ? We go way back."

"Would you like to read it?"

"...bring it on."

 

hay pres bush! It's KJ~! I've g0t some HAWT NEWZ that I better share to U. Some gut in the ukraine made blasphomy! i figured you hsuld know. he named a kid jesus christ! fuck him (the guy, not jesus, i mean the new jesus, not real one, figeratively) for doing taht~! this is wrong on sooooooo many levels. I tihnk you should bomb the back 2 the stone age!!!!!1

send me stuff

KJ

 

P.S. I think you're gonna have a BRACK-ATTACK!

 

"Well, Mr. President, what should we do?"

"Man the torpedoes. We'll attack at dawn. But in the meantime, elevate the terror alerts, especially for New York and Washington D.C., in case he does come through on a large-scale brack-attack. We won't let this terrorist win."

[Golgo 13 0]

You didn't include enough tildebangs, Czech.

[HollywoodSpikeJenkins 0]

He shouldn't have any problems getting laid.

[The Czech Republic 0]

What if the girls are totally MEH~!

[Guest KJ Brackish]

This has taken either blasphomy or dedication to another level. My first instinct was to introduce this news comment to pres bush so he'll bomb them back to the stone age for their blasphemous comments.

 

KJ

"Mr. President, you have some mail today."

"I have lots of mail every day."

"Yeah but this one is important."

"How do you figure?"

"It's from KJ Brackish."

"Well why didn't you tell me it was from KJ? We go way back."

"Would you like to read it?"

"...bring it on."

 

hay pres bush! It's KJ~! I've g0t some HAWT NEWZ that I better share to U. Some gut in the ukraine made blasphomy! i figured you hsuld know. he named a kid jesus christ! fuck him (the guy, not jesus, i mean the new jesus, not real one, figeratively) for doing taht~! this is wrong on sooooooo many levels. I tihnk you should bomb the back 2 the stone age!!!!!1

send me stuff

KJ

 

P.S. I think you're gonna have a BRACK-ATTACK!

 

"Well, Mr. President, what should we do?"

"Man the torpedoes. We'll attack at dawn. But in the meantime, elevate the terror alerts, especially for New York and Washington D.C., in case he does come through on a large-scale brack-attack. We won't let this terrorist win."

Okay......... you brought me back from my pissed off-ness because you actually got the way that I type down pat. it's actually kinda scary. The only thing you got wrong is that I can actually spell. I know you were trying to be a smartass, but that is the real way that I type. Kinda scary if ya ask me.

 

KJ

[Guest Vitamin X]

This is by far one of the worst threads I have ever seen. KJ posting twice in it pushes its craptacularness to new heights.

What the hell is your problem ya little BUTT pirate? I've never done/said anything to you for 1) you're a stupid ass that just gives smartass remarks to everything 2) your 'SUCKNESS' level is beyond someone that I would want to talk to, so do us a favor and keep your opinions to yourself.

 

KJ

[Guest evenflowDDT]

Unless that kid's a tortilla, I don't buy it.

[The Czech Republic 0]

KJ is just mad because he dropped some ice down his pants. He has a lot. Lot of ice.

[Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye 0]

MOTHA FUCKA~!!!

[Guest syncer55]

JC with his mystical powers should be able to score whenever he wants.

 

His pickup line would probably be " Hey I am the Jesus Christ, Lets do some praying."