Lockdown Commentary

[Cuban Linx 0]

I guess if i plan on sticking around i'd better get around to doing some of that pesky reading shows and giving comments stuff for once.

 

First off congrats to Uncle Filthy for beating my crappy veteran ass, i definately look forward to reading the match and seeing where an old-timer like me can keep up with these new waves of writers and their far superior talents. After writing against him i can certainly see Uncle Filthy being a character that i'll come to enjoy reading more of in the future.

 

Onto the little i have read so far, i was a little disappointed at the abrupt nature of both the Tag Team and World Title matches, since i was looking forward to seeing both, particularly Andrea/Toxxic. At the same time though they look to be building feuds and angles and all that good stuff, something we can always use more of, especially at the pointy end of the card.

 

I quite liked Toxxic's promo in between, short, effective and to the point, without a wacky bold or italic in sight. Whenever Toxxic/Maddix goes down it'll be money for sure, i know i for one can't wait.

 

And we must have slipped into some parallel universe for there to be both a double and triple no-show, and for me to not be involved with either.

 

Sly/Birdman, Maddix/King and the Last Blood match i'll get to sooner or later, though all look like good stuff from a quick scanning over.

[Guest Ghetto Bird]

I didn't show... unless a half-hearted 700-word effort turned in a full two hours after the deadline to avoid a potential DNS counts as "showing"...

[Sly 0]

Opening Match - Singles Match: Stryke vs. Uncle Filthy

Uncle Filthy? How do you kids come up with this shit?

I must admit that I like the way Filthy makes his entrance, playing up the entire unknown bit. And Stryke returns to... heel heat? Hu-wha? Don't most returning wrestlers get a nice pop simply for returning? Leave it to Stryke to somehow find enduring hatred, I guess. Average brawling start, leading into a Northern Lights Suplex with bridge for a two count. Some more brawling followed by a Camel Clutch on Filthy brings in two interference attempts, only one of which is successful. Wait... I thought only heel managers interfered. Weird. Another weird thought, isn't the use of weapons in a match (inside or outside of the ring) illegal? Or at least, that's what I'd always thought. Apparently Nick Lumas doesn't think so, though. Or maybe it's okay when accompanied by nursery riddles. Wait... is this a hardcore match? I don't seem to remember any stipulations ever being announced. Oh well, lets continue. Fairly quick exchanges on the pinfall attempts, and then a nice segment with the attempted Northern Lights Suplex leading into the "Shows Over, Kids!" and the eventual three count.

 

Notes - Fairly decent match, outside of my criticisms up there. You should probably take some time to read up on the characters of Comet and Riley, as they weren't portrayed very well in your match. It was your first attempt though, so it's understandable. Also, I'm not sure I like the line break style that you used, seperating some fairly minor segments into their own paragraphs and such. Anyways, there's some solid goods here, but it needs some refinement.

 

Match Two - Hardcore Title Contendership, Last Blood Match: Christian Fury vs. David Cross vs. Danny Dagda

People are gonna bleeeeeeed...

Some fun stuff from Riley and Comet to open the match. For some reason, I can never write this stuff, so it's always good to read when someone actually can. And then we go into some first person writing... um... interesting. Anyways, quick exchange, and everyone is getting into the act. A quick low blow brings Dagda back into the match, and briefly eliminates Fury from the fray. Cross with a bit of no-selling and... CATCHES A KENDO STICK!? ... the fuck? And after a bit of tussling, Cross does an awkward split. Whats with all the nutshots, eh? And David is eliminated following a super kick. Few moments later, match ends in slight confusion following a moonsault onto a table on the outside of the ring. Or, at least that's what I think it was. Anyways, Fury is our winner, and he's got a good return set-up already.

 

Notes - Now while the jury is still out on this whole "first person" jazz, it was a really well written match on the whole. Seemed quite short to me though, for some reason.

 

Match Three - Cruiserweight Title Contendership, Singles Match: Birdman vs. Austin Sly

HOT SEXY CRUISERWEIGHT ACTION~!

Um... I don't comment on my own matches, of course. But yay for me showing and yay for me winning, I guess.

 

Notes - I WON, BITCHES!

 

Match Four - USJL Title Contendership, Triple Threat Match: Nathan Xavier vs. Jamie Drazon vs. Ryan Dustin

USJL... no, Canadian... no wait... USJL.

Triple threat no-show a go-go~! I could've sworn that Xavier was writing something... weirdness...

 

Match Five - Singles Match; Johnny Dangerous vs. Manson

This is what happens after you lose the world title, apparently.

DNS~! DNS~! DNS~! With all this no-showing, it's a miracle that we didn't see G0R0 tonight.

 

Match Six - Tag Team Titles Match, Tag Team Match; Hollywood Boulevard vs. Revolution Zero ©

I've got to get me one of those re-match clauses...

Once again, it seems like the faces taking some heel tactics as they Hollywood Boulevard gets an early attack off before the bell. Of course, marks eat this stuff up now a days. Faces with attitude and all that jazz. And there's the bell. Neat little reverse on the hurricanrana into a power bomb leading to the first pin attempt. Luckily Cortez gets his shoulder up, but all four men still manage to find a way to brawl around the ring. Jet hands off one of the titles to Spike, and we have ourselves a disqualification and a Revolution beatdown to Cortez and Van Siclen.

 

Notes - Short match just to push along the story, I would assume. Kind of a dull read, but it at least gets the job done.

 

Promo 1~!

MVS is not a happy man.

Yet another short escapade, as Van Siclen decides to extract revenge upon the foul Revolution Zero.

 

Ummm... it's now 3:40 in the am my time, and I think the last three segments can wait for morning if I ever get to them at all.

[Guest Blind Ryan]

Had I known more, been involved, signed up earlier, etc. etc. I could have helped.

[Golgo 13 0]

Blah. Well, I did finish a match, a mere 2700 words... at 10 my time. At that point I was writing for myself, as I assumed that it was too late for TNT to accept it and that Johnny had gotten something in.

[Vasarian_Brandy 0]

Match Two - Hardcore Title Contendership, Last Blood Match: Christian Fury vs. David Cross vs. Danny Dagda

People are gonna bleeeeeeed...

Some fun stuff from Riley and Comet to open the match. For some reason, I can never write this stuff, so it's always good to read when someone actually can. And then we go into some first person writing... um... interesting. Anyways, quick exchange, and everyone is getting into the act. A quick low blow brings Dagda back into the match, and briefly eliminates Fury from the fray. Cross with a bit of no-selling and... CATCHES A KENDO STICK!? ... the fuck? And after a bit of tussling, Cross does an awkward split. Whats with all the nutshots, eh? And David is eliminated following a super kick. Few moments later, match ends in slight confusion following a moonsault onto a table on the outside of the ring. Or, at least that's what I think it was. Anyways, Fury is our winner, and he's got a good return set-up already.

 

Notes - Now while the jury is still out on this whole "first person" jazz, it was a really well written match on the whole. Seemed quite short to me though, for some reason.

Let's see if I can coherently respond to all of this, shall I? Oh I think so. And don't take it personal. I like critiques of my work. I also like to respond.

 

1) First person = My 'new' style. Ask any old-timer of the Fed. They'll tell you.

 

2) If I remember right, Cross has a vitality of 6 or 7. "Brief bouts of no-selling" I believe is part of the description.

 

3) Anyone can catch anything if their hands are placed right. Even I could catch a bullet in my hand... Even though it'd kinda go through my hand in the process.

 

4) "What's with all the nutshots, eh?" Hardcore match. Plus it's a Danny Dagda signature maneuver. And they worked, didn't they???

 

5) I was shooting for an Asai Moonsault, something that was in my arsenal way back when. But I don't think I wrote it right. Who cares. It PUT SOMEONE THROUGH A TABLE, for Pete's sake!!!

 

6) It was under 4500 words. Admittedly the intro portion ran long, but... It was also a hardcore match, so there wasn't the typical wrestling madness in normal matches. Plus the stip... Make them bleed. Don't need to do much classical wrestling to do that.

 

But thank you for the comments.