The almighty "Myrtle Beach Mike"

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

From the people who brought you Drudge, FreeRepublic and BioDome..

 

When you need a pearl of Cock Wisdom..

 

go get it from the man himself.. MikeSC (pronounced "Mick-esk") in The Little Mike Book

 

"OK, as somebody who voted for Strom, I'll tell y'all something: We KNEW he was incompetent. Not exactly a shocker. He looked like he was dead. HOWEVER, his STAFF was the greatest. You needed ANYTHING and they'd always deliver. People voted for the STAFF --- not for Thurmond." - Mike, 6/29/03, on Senator Strom

 

"What Strom BELIEVED or liked is absolutely irrelevant. What he DID from the moment segregation ended IS important and NOBODY can say that he treated blacks and differently than whites from that point on." - Mike, 6/29/03

 

"If you saw the motley crew of incompetent boobs the Democrats ran against Strom, you'd understand why he won all of the time. He was actually MORE capable than his opponents, even in '94 when he last won election (heck, I can't even REMEMBER his last opponent). Respect the system and how it's "supposed" to work? I did just that. I voted for the best option of the two candidates. Sadly, that option was Strom." - Mike, 6/29/03

 

"Why do you think I won't do any work for the state GOP? Because they refused to take him aside (BTW, I've met him more than once and while he can't speak, I think his rather bad body funk speaks volumes -- I'm just glad I'm not a woman as I understand he's REALLY "grabby" with women) and tell him that they need him to throw whatever support he can towards another candidate." - Mike, 6/29/03

 

"GOP passed the Housing Rights and Civil Rights Acts of the '60's --- not the Dems." - Mike, 8/17/03

 

"Well, I have become something that I didn't think REALLY happened to anybody. I am a guy who was beaten -- rather savagely --- by my (now ex-) fiancee. Snce July, she had beaten me 4 times. Usually, it was nothing more than slaps, an attempted kick to the groin, and hair-pulling. On Thursday, when I informed her I was, in fact, leaving town immediately, she beat me for 20 minutes straight. She smashed her portable phone over my head, opening up a rather nice-sized gash and the blood pouring down my face caused the neighbors to call the cops on my behalf." - Mike, 9/14/03

 

"AARP delivers millions of votes every election. God knows how or why. Heck, they're old --- they probably are confused or something." - Mike, 11/29/03

 

"If Kerry couldn't win his own state in a primary --- which he might not --- then then how much good is he?" - Mike, 12/03/03

 

"You know, we could easily simply pull OUT of that shithole and let that collection of inbred monkeys get torn down by the radical sub-human monkeys in that crap country." - Mike, 12/04/03, on Saudi Arabia

 

"The leadership of Arabia financially supports people who kill innocents to advance their beliefs. Thus, they forfeit the right of being called "humans". ANYBODY who supports that kind of behavior is a sub-human monkey." - Mike, 12/04/03, clarifying his stance

 

"The U.N has kinda hurt itself with the whole "appointing sub-human terrorist monkeys to key council positions" approach to multilateralism." - Mike, 12/30/03

 

"Is it me, or has the violence increased NOTICEABLY since the Spanish election? Hmm, did the capitulation of Spain possibly increase the resolve of the monkeys? Is all of the "Vietnam" talk here doing the same?" - Mike, 4/9/04

 

"Well, the questions are beginning to get asked. Kerry is going to learn what a competitive election is like --- seeing as how he never faced one" - Mike, 4/14/04, on the first SBVFT-related claims

 

"The problem the Dems have is that they don't really have anybody else who can win." - Mike, 5/3/04

 

"I don't hate all cultures. Just ones populated by people who would best serve humanity as fertilizer for our pretty gardens" - Mike, 5/12/04

 

"if anybody ever met me, I'd immediately be cooler than most of the people they know" - Mike, 5/12/04

 

"You think I'm taking this stuff seriously? Heck, outside of BX'S homoerotic fixation with me, not much here to TAKE seriously." - Mike, 5/13/04

 

"Wow, I'm touched that people aspire to be me." - Mike, 5/29/04

 

"Since the people I can't stand are here, I have few problems pissing in this pool. I'll be here constantly --- JUST to piss the lot of you off. Toodles for now." - Mike, 5/31/04, on HD

 

"I don't HAVE to troll --- you people are so moronic and, well, take everything here so darned seriously that anything I do will lead to a total disruption." - Mike, 5/31/04

 

"Oh, I'm sorry. You apparently mistook me for somebody who cared what you thought. I will, in the future, attempt to remove that misconception from you." - Mike, 6/14/04

 

"Hard to say "beaten up" when I won't hit a girl. It's not like I couldn't have beaten the hell out of her if I chose to. I suppose finding the beating of women immoral might make me less manly in your eyes. Go back to clubbing the hooker." - Mike, 6/14/04

 

"The reporters KNEW of the attack --- and didn't alert a soul. They just decided to cover the story --- screw the deaths that their silence will create. They are unbelievably evil people. " - Mike, 6/15/04

 

"Wow, it really should blow my mind that people would defend anything a Democratic-supported group." - Mike, 6/28/04

 

"Does making asinine comments make you cool?" - Mike, 6/28/04

 

"My intention in creating this thread was for people who have seen this film, to discuss it, not just paste other people's reviews of the flick. We already have a couple of those in the Current Event Forum, but as with most threads relating to Michael Moore, this thread has been hijacked......" - NoCal Mike, 6/28/04

 

"This gets filed under "tough shit"." - Mike, 6/28/04

 

"And, Wolf, why don't you just go get your yourless fucking ass banned again?" - Mike to Banky, 6/29/04

 

"Kerry's VP, If you choose to believe Drudge will be Hillary. He's reporting that Hillary is the massive front-runner to this slot." - Mike, 6/30/04

 

"Tyler, I'm also quite aware of how much work and time Edwards plowed into SC to win here. He had working this state for a LONG time. BUT, he couldn't win his own state, NC, primary." - Mike, 6/30/04, on John Edwards, winner of the North and South Carolina primaries

 

"I will say, honestly, Drudge is about as reliable as the NY Times. Take it as you wish." - Mike, 6/30/04

 

"Kerry is a terrible candidate and, though this is being ignored, Bush is leading or tied in a ton of polls --- and this was AFTER a patch of bad crap from Iraq." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"Stop the incessant flame-baiting. You're simply trolling here. Go elsewhere, where your trolling is appreciated." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"I love that I'm called names by trollers and flamers." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"Bush has mastered the art of lowering expectations. The man is exceptionally intelligent and has few qualms about people believing otherwise. He has the huge advantage that the two big issues, terrorism and economy, appear to be very much in his favor." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"Because the economy is rebounding in a major way and we'll be slowly pulling out of Iraq. It's going to be hard for Kerry to constantly claim that things are getting worse when they clearly aren't." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"I'm saying Bush is smarter. Flat out. He also has that Harvard degree." - Mike, 7/6/04, on the intelligence of Bush and Kerry

 

"The moment Lurch becomes more public, especially with David Cassidy by his side, they will flame out." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"interesting bit of trivia --- infamous VP lightweight Dan Quayle actually had MUCH more experience in office than Edwards has had. So, I suppose we'll be getting all of the same Quayle is a child jokes for Edwards." - Mike, 7/6/04

 

"why the hell should he? It'd be like blasting a President in the 1920's for not speaking to the KKK" - Mike, 7/10/04, on Bush not speaking to the NAACP

 

"The NAACP is every inch as racist and bigoted today as the KKK was." - Mike, 7/10/04

 

"Was the ad dumb? Yup. Pointless to the extreme. Should the vets have done it? Nope" - Mike, 8/6/04, on the SBVFT ads

 

"I do not even REMOTELY care if [Kerry] "deserved" his accolades." - Mike, 8/6/04

 

"[Kerry]'s melting down. When he loses, you'll point to this also." - Mike, 8/21/04

 

"And, Jesse, compared to you, people suffering acute head trauma are brilliant" - Mike, 8/25/04

 

"[Kerry]'s losing support quickly and it's only getting uglier. His campaign is progeressively looking less and less serious." - Mike, 9/9/04

 

"Cleeland should be laughed at for his problems" - Mike, 9/19/04, on Max Cleland, triple-amputee

 

"But nothing I've said is inaccurate in any way, shape, or form." - Mike, 9/19/04, on his accuracy

 

"[Kerry]'s not a war hero. 4 months does not a hero make." - Mike, 9/19/04

 

"Then again, if Cleeland was irresponsible here rather than in Vietnam, he'd have not had a career at all, so them's the breaks." - Mike, 9/19/04

 

"[Kerry]...didn't...do...squat." - Mike, 9/19/04, on Kerry's war service

 

"[Kerry]'s words caused more deaths than the one life he saved. What a hero." - Mike, 9/19/04

 

"Somebody linked to intentionally planting stories to turn an election they're losing BADLY is worse than somebody covering up a 3rd rate burglary." - Mike, 9/21/04

 

"The Dems are simply working their ass off to explain why their guy tanked so royally in an election they mistakenly felt was in the bag." - Mike 9/21/04

 

"So, if Saddam wins, will Kerry bash him, as he has done to Allawi? Nice of Kerry to be so kind to our allies. What a fucktard." - Mike, 9/23/04

 

"Blaming Gallup because Kerry is tanking is sad" - Mike, 9/29/04

 

"Kerry is STILL sucking eggs --- but a runaway election isn't fun for the news, so they want to make a competition where one does not exist." - Mike, 10/2/04

 

And if you get the Little Mike Book.. you can get one of the following books.. "Why Kerry will be crushed", "Republican Supermen" or "Holtz: Our greatest enemy"

 

or the video: "Mike v. Max: MikeSC takes on Max Cleland, in the octagon"

 

pick up your portable phone nownownownow and GET IT

[... 0]

File this under either "flamebait" or "preaching to the converted."

[Golgo 13 0]

So were you squirreling away his quotes or did you simply scour through his post history for God knows how long in order to do this?

[The Mandarin 0]

Did you sleep last night?

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I stopped reading after the first "sub-human monkey" remark. Did I miss anything?

 

I think Rob and BX are looking out the same bedroom window at Mike when he's taking a shower...

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

I just got finished with sleeping

 

and you never know when you need a MikeSC quote. Especially when he keeps mentioning that Kerry is melting down and going to lose.

 

Just for the sake of whoever.. I'll go a bit more in-depth on the quotes.

 

2003:

 

1 though 4 - basically that was Strom-related backtracking (from, I voted for his staff to I voted for him since there was nobody better)

 

5 - Mike usually gives the GOP credit for passing the Civil Rights Act, ignoring that the GOP didn't take credit for it in 1964 when they nominated Senator Goldwater (who voted against it)

 

6 - This is either tragic or humorous, depending on how demented you are, but then again.. it is a tough spot to be in

 

7 - Nothing like some AARP dissing.. old people = confused

 

8 - Crappy Kerry prediction #1 from Mike

 

9 and 10 - 10 saves 9 from being viewed as blatantly racist. Although that depends on your opinion

 

11 - Strangely enough, he didn't provide a specific example, unless that "sub-human terrorist monkeys" thing covers entire nations now. Which would be questionable

 

January though May 2004:

 

12 - We're to blame for the violence in Iraq!

 

13 - One of the few accurate Kerry-related predictions from Mike. And it seems Kerry is adapting well.

 

14 - Election-related prediction

 

15 - So.. Mike hates a culture which has a lot of terrorists. Which would probably include Islam. But there's probably a cover to this too.

 

16 - The SC stands for "Super Cool"

 

17 - It's not a quoteable withoutt homoeroticism

 

18 - or flattery

 

19 - nothing like promising to piss off an entire board a lot.

 

20 - "It's not my fault"

 

June:

 

21 - another PSA from Mike

 

22 - Probably true

 

23 - That's from the evil reporter thread. I don't have anything from the "Democrats are hiring rapists" thread or the Outsourcing thread

 

24 - Unfortunately, Mike fell out of his chair before he was able to finish this statement. Nah.. he just didn't finish it. I also didn't put in the quote about how Rock the Vote was partisan.

 

25 - This is what we call "projection", sorta like when Jimmy Swaggert condemns porn. Project your problems onto others subconsciously.

 

26 - Mike shows his debating skills by declaring "file this under tough shit"

 

27 - I think that would be a typo.. but yourless isn't close to useless

 

28 - Mike hears something from Drudge.. believes it, massively

 

29 - Turns out Edwards did win NC.. something I noted then.

 

30 - Drudge = double plus reliable

 

July:

 

31 - Kerry-statement

 

32 - Projection

 

33 - Projection

 

34 - Bush is very smart.. and he shows it by making people think he is dumb. But he has an advantage in terrorism.

 

35 - Strange how that's worked in Iraq

 

36 - Pure opinion about the genius of George W. Bush

 

37- Kerry-prediction

 

38 - Mike misses the reason why Quayle was mocked

 

39 and 40 - The NAACP invites you to a black cross burning.. ya know.

 

August:

 

41 - First statement on the SBVFT ad. Which is seemingly contradicted by later statements.

 

42 - I think this is another statement that was later contradicted.

 

43 - Kerry prediction

 

44 - Personal insult

 

September:

 

45 - Kerry-prediction

 

46 - Mike puts amputees in their place

 

47 - probably out of context.

 

48 - Time is everything

 

49 - Cleeland-insult

 

50 and 51 - more fun shots at Kerry, from noted war hero, MikeSC

 

52 - Kerry-prediction and Watergate revisionism

 

53 - Kerry-prediction

 

54 - Illogical

 

55 - "Kerry is doomed" statement

 

October:

 

56 - "Kerry will lose easily"

 

File this under either "flamebait" or "preaching to the converted."

 

I don't expect any minds to be changed.

 

So were you squirreling away his quotes or did you simply scour through his post history for God knows how long in order to do this?

 

I did store some of the Kerry predictions. The rest was searching for posts by him with a term in them (which is easy).. it's not like I had anything else to do.

 

Did you sleep last night?

 

I slept this morning

 

I stopped reading after the first "sub-human monkey" remark. Did I miss anything?

 

probably

 

I think Rob and BX are looking out the same bedroom window at Mike when he's taking a shower...

 

High-larity..

[Guest MikeSC]

I find it ironic that Rob is so obsessed with me, considering that I couldn't give you a single quote of his from, well, ever (not from lack of quantity, just from a brutal lack o' quality). I honestly LAUGH at the sheer time it took you --- on a Sat. night no less --- to generate a wealth of quotes of mine. Always strive for the high life, Robby. You couldn't find anything better to do with your time?

 

And, hate to break it to ya, but I'm not from Myrtle Beach.

 

Man, how many stalkers do I have around here?

-=Mike

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

I find it ironic that Rob is so obsessed with me, considering that I couldn't give you a single quote of his from, well, ever (not from lack of quantity, just from a brutal lack o' quality).

 

I'm so sad that I haven't made enough stupid statements. Really. I am. The avatar is enough

 

I honestly LAUGH at the sheer time it took you --- on a Sat. night no less --- to generate a wealth of quotes of mine.

 

most of it was on a Sunday morning. But still.. it's not like I had anything better to do.

 

Always strive for the high life, Robby. You couldn't find anything better to do with your time?

 

nope.. but then again, weren't you posting around the same time on Saturday Night?

 

And, hate to break it to ya, but I'm not from Myrtle Beach.

 

It's called alliteration. Baghdad Bob. Myrtle Beach Mike.

 

Man, how many stalkers do I have around here?

 

We love you for your accurate predictions.

[Guest MikeSC]

I find it ironic that Rob is so obsessed with me, considering that I couldn't give you a single quote of his from, well, ever (not from lack of quantity, just from a brutal lack o' quality).

 

I'm so sad that I haven't made enough stupid statements. Really. I am. The avatar is enough

If you say so. I certainly lack the desire to wade through your old posts.

I honestly LAUGH at the sheer time it took you --- on a Sat. night no less --- to generate a wealth of quotes of mine.

most of it was on a Sunday morning. But still.. it's not like I had anything better to do.

Still a sad commentary.

Always strive for the high life, Robby. You couldn't find anything better to do with your time?

nope.. but then again, weren't you posting around the same time on Saturday Night?

I'd already done what I wanted to do. You were the one who decided to stroke your hard-on for me.

And, hate to break it to ya, but I'm not from Myrtle Beach.

It's called alliteration. Baghdad Bob. Myrtle Beach Mike.

Doesn't make it any less lame, sparky.

Man, how many stalkers do I have around here?

We love you for your accurate predictions.

Well, I can only imagine what life must be like when the object of your affection just doesn't care one way or the other about you.

 

And this is not in CE for what reason? You often take your "grudges" to other places to bitch and moan?

-=Mike

[Guest MikeSC]

I stopped reading after the first "sub-human monkey" remark. Did I miss anything?

 

I think Rob and BX are looking out the same bedroom window at Mike when he's taking a shower...

I didnt know I was so adorable to the critically pathetic. I should be touched.

-=Mike

...Hey, how many others have people spending at least an hour delivering quotes of yours?

[Nighthawk 0]

I honestly LAUGH at the sheer time it took you --- on a Sat. night no less --- to generate a wealth of quotes of mine.

 

most of it was on a Sunday morning. But still.. it's not like I had anything better to do.

That's the problem.

 

Also, though I wouldn't be caught dead discussing politics here, after glancing through this, it seems Mike is right about almost everything.

[bob_barron 0]

Rob uses that damn emoticon WAY too much.

 

Carry on...

[Slayer 0]

I wish I had my own devoted quote thread

 

Damn lucky Mike

[Guest MikeSC]

I wish I had my own devoted quote thread

 

Damn lucky Mike

You need to be more unpleasant to people with WAY too much time on their hands.

-=Mike

[Slayer 0]

I'm unpleasant to the mods

 

Is that good enough?

[Guest MikeSC]

I'm unpleasant to the mods

 

Is that good enough?

Our mods have lives.

 

I think.

-=Mike

[Guest Shoes Head]

...

 

::leaves thread forever::

[kkktookmybabyaway 0]

I wish I had my own devoted quote thread 

 

Damn lucky Mike

Happy?

 

And Rob, your "recap" was almost as long as the post it was covering...

[Slayer 0]

Funny how things come full circle

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

*insert gay joke about Rob and Mike since nobody else did*

[Slayer 0]

Huh huh huh...

 

He said "insert"

 

Huh huh huh...

[Guest MikeSC]

*insert gay joke about Rob and Mike since nobody else did*

Which is why Rob scares me so.

 

That, and I'm not convinced that idiocy is not contagious.

-=Mike

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

*insert gay joke about Rob and Mike since nobody else did*

Which is why Rob scares me so.

high-larity Mike..

 

since you're never wrong and all

[Guest MikeSC]

*insert gay joke about Rob and Mike since nobody else did*

Which is why Rob scares me so.

high-larity Mike..

 

since you're never wrong and all

Wow, a post of yours involving me that DOESN'T go 10 pages? You've learned brevity.

-=Mike

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

No, I didn't.

 

Brief enough for you?

[Guest The Winter Of My Discontent]

Holy fuck, this thread scares the shit out of me for so many reasons.

[Rob E Dangerously 0]

It's probably my Bush sig

 

*glances at arms*.. why does the Sun hate me?

[... 0]

You need to be more unpleasant to people with WAY too much time on their hands.

-=Mike

Shut up.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Dude, Rob.

 

Dude.

[NYU 0]

Oh, Rob.

 

How I wish I had as much free time as you.